Boonta Vista - EPISODE 31: Along Came Poly

Episode Date: January 24, 2018

As demanded by listeners, Andrew, Lucy and Ben are discussing Cory Bernardi's Top Hottest 100 Hot Conservative Hot Songs 100 and his subsequent owning by most of the artists he picked. We're also covering sexy Australian political scandals and making a final determination on the Poly-status of the show. Support the show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista Don't forget to rate & subscribe on iTunes if that's your thing. _____________________________ Twitter: twitter.com/boontavista iTunes: tinyurl.com/y8d5aenm Stitcher: www.stitcher.com/s?fid=144888&refid=stpr Pocket Casts: pca.st/SPZB RSS: tinyurl.com/kq84ddb

Welcome to Butta Vista Socialist Club episode 31. I'm Andrew and I'm here with Ben. Hello. Hello number one. Hello number one. It feels really good. You're back. Back at number one. Back at number one. I guess that's fair. Ah, I hear number two. I hear number two.

That's me. It's Lucy. That's Lucy. We have no Theo. Theo is on a big plane. To the big plane and the plane is going somewhere. Where's it going first to the beautiful Queensland City of Cans and then I believe he gets onto a different plane that is taking him to the far-off mystical land of Nihon.

Ah, the Orient. I don't think we call it the Orient anymore. I'm almost certain. I'm pretty sure. I don't, I'm not 100% certain. I would like, it would just feel pretty cool if you could still tell people that like instead of being like, oh yeah, went to Thailand. You're like, oh, I just finished an extensive tour of the Far Orient. That sounds fancy. It does. It's very mysterious. It's mysterious. That's what I like about. It makes me feel like a British man with a monocle. A racist one, a racist colonialist man. That's the feeling you should get from it. Yeah, so that's where Theo is. Theo is going to Japan to, I'm assuming, ship back just dozens and dozens of boxes

of Hentai. He's just going to jack off. He's just going to be jacking off solidly for weeks. I think, I mean, that's a little unfair. In my mind, he'll be alternating between jacking off to the illegalist hentai, no demand. The other half he'll be doing that thing where you can rent authentic samurai armor and just walk around town. I didn't know that was a thing. He'll be jacking off in that too. That's something you jack off over. That's the one thing you're not allowed to do with it. They're like, hey, I can't absolutely hogwild of this authentic samurai armor, just

do not jack Hmm. So, we asked our beloved listeners and patrons this week, what's going on? What would you like us to talk about? And number one with a bullet was Corey Bernadi's hottest, conservative hot 100 songs? What did you call it something? Did you have a name for it? So when they first did the press releases, I don't know if he said anything since then,

but all their press materials that first came out about it, never referred to it by name, they only were referred to it by the hashtag. So it was also just, always just hashtag AC 100, which, I mean, you can sort of to to to be to be the the Australian the Australian the Australian the Australian the Australian the Australian the Australian the Australian the Australian the Australian the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their their their their th.a.a.e.o.ea.eat.e.e.e... their their their, their, their, their, their, the hashtag. So it was also just always just hashtag AC 100. Which, I mean, you can sort of extrapolate to be the Australian Conservatives 100. I think. But he never said that explicitly, so it could be anything. It could be, Ask clown 100. That's an example. Wait, let me, sorry, I'm trying to improv something. It could be

Ask clown 100. Oh, perfect. Nice, good one. I don't know how you do it every time. Years of improv classes. Years. I'm like a ninth level improv now. I'm 80,000 dollars in debt on my improv classes.

But you've gained easily $81,000 worth of skills. It's true. If there's any skill you can trade for money, it's improv. So yeah, it was extremely, it was extremely silly. As you said, Ben, yes, he did only hashtag at AC 100. But yeah, the Australian Conservatives 100, the coolest thing you've ever heard of. It's cooler than the Authorsest 100, the triple M thing, to be fair. So you're choosing out of these two...

Out of the Ozest 100 and the Australian anus clown 100. I'm picking that one. You know, that's actually kind of fair because you know that this one, the Oz Conservatives one was like him just having a brain fart and doing it by himself. Yeah. Whereas, that's a whole station. Yeah, the Triple M was like there's 50 people in a room vigorously nodding their heads being like, we hate indigenous people, let's do this instead. I don't know, man, it just, it seems like a, like a very, it's very weird move, like to go,

oh wow, this thing that apparently all these people are mad about because they're looking at it and saying it's a suddenly the hottest 100 is an institution. Oh yeah, people who've never cared about Triple J and the hottest 100 ever before. Hmm. Yep, but suddenly, suddenly it's a very important institution. But they've stepped out of that space, you know, who should fill that vacuum? Us. Like it's a really weird kind of telegraphed like calculated move to go, all right we'll step into that space so everyone who's pissy about you moving it because they normally like to have a piss up on on Australia Day and listen to it. Yeah, according to the very valuable racist Triple J listener demographic. It's a growth industry, I'm sure. Yeah, so they did this hottest 100, which logistically, they did not put a lot of effort or thought

into. They've just stolen it from a like my playlist. They've stolen it direct from my music collection and it's just Australian rock songs. But that's the thing, right? So unlike a Triple J countdown where it's a pretty large body of work, do you just write in your answers or from a drop-down? I don't do the Triple J one? I think, yeah. I'm sure these, look, I don't do them either, but I'm sure these days you could like

start typing in a song and have it go. Yeah, but it's from their list of things that they've played that aren't from a major label, right? That's what the the stipulations are? I don't fucking know. The point is, maybe, oh, which one's made the cut? Corey Bernardy's one is you get to choose from a hundred songs, so we already know what the top 100 are, and then you choose which three you like the best. So it's a competition to see what order those 100 songs that we already know what they are going. And then because... I think he was like very vague on it. It the. It the. It's. It's. It's the. It's th. It's the. It's th. It's the th. It's the cut. It's th. It's the cut. th. th. the cut. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi's one. One's one. thi's one. one. one's one. One's one. One's one. One's one. One's one's one's one. One's one's one's one. One's one's one. One's one. One's one. One's one. One's one. One's one. One's one. One's one. the one. the one. the one. the one. the one. the one. the one. the one. the one. the one. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. the. the. the. tod. the. the. the. the. one. one. one. one. one. one. one. that we already know what they are going in. And then because it's not like very vague on it. It was just a Spotify playlist. Yeah.

And it was full of songs which are very specifically anti-racism and stuff like that. It had like Solid Rock by Goana, which is an Indigenous Rights song. Yeah, yep. And like Kaysan, you're the voice. Some, some real classics of racism the racism, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, thism, thism, thism, thism, th, th, it, th, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it was, it was,, and like Ksan, you're the voice. Some real classics of racism there. It's very good stuff. I didn't realize that there. You're in the running to help Corey Benadi, like, DJ, a barbecue. Yeah, and well, on top of that.

You get to help him shuffle his playlist around a little. Yeah, like, he's not broadcasting it on a radio service, right? He's not working with that level of technology. They're just gonna edit the Spotify playlist and then say, now he's the hundred. Yeah, some fucker is gonna sit there using the drop and drag tool for half an hour staring at a spreadsheet of like badly type song names because it was just like a free type entry box thing. And then what you look at the playlist it'll be slightly different to when you saw it last time. Fucking whoopty shit, that's great.

Dynamite stuff. Sheer inventiveness, really original thinking from Corey. I like that he took a concept and just made it a lot dumber and simpler. I'm going to offer you this thing by making it palpably worse. Do you want what you had before but just shit? I've got that. Yeah, so, but unfortunately, it kind of didn't, it didn't really last, did it? Because didn't Spotify take his playlist? Oh, they sure did.

So that ended up being a bit of cheeky misdirection. They took down the name of the playlist and the image that he put up for the playlist because there was a copyright violation because he used the Spotify logo and the Triple J logo. The playlist stayed up but he posted it a screenshot of the email saying that he had been censored and it had been taken down even though it was still freely available. So a bunch of news outlets ran with that. And then yeah, it came to light that it was fine. You just made a real shit poster.

Look, it's the same shit that I talk week in week out on this show, which is, it's just example after example of conservatives who are all super about the free market and supply and demand and businesses just responding to what customers want, all that sort of thing. And if for whatever reason, somebody goes, actually, we don't, we don't, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th th th th th thi, th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th, you th, you th, you th, you th, you th, you th, you th, you th, you just, you just, you just, you just, you just, you just, th, th th th th th th th th th th just just just just just just just just just the thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th and businesses just responding to what customers want all that sort of thing and if for whatever reason somebody goes actually we don't want your product on here or in this case even we're just going to edit this image because it violates a terms of service agreement that you signed when you sign up to use this thing and then suddenly the world is against you and you're being censored violated violation and free speech it was it was supered it was right right right right it was th it was right it was the it was th it was right right right right right it was the it was th it was th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th right right right right right right right th right th right th right thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi thi. thi to the to to to to theeeeeei to to thei thi theei. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th suddenly the world is against you and you're being censored. Censored violation of free speech. It was super great.

He went on Sky News to talk about that happening, the Spotify thing, and he called it like, you know, the business was discriminating against him just because he's a conservative. And then like 20 people replied with a screenshot of a headline from an Australian article that was just because he's a conservative and then like 20 people replied with a screenshot of headline from an Australian article that was just like Corey Bernaddy says he believes businesses should be able to discriminate for any reason once to ever. Yep yep it's just all pretty transparent that's all but it's very funny stuff and a byproduct of this that has delighted a lot of people, I dare say especially Lucy, is that this has resulted in a whole bunch of Australian music legends chiming in. Including Jimmy Barnes. Yep, just everybody jumping in to go, oh fuck off.

You like don't use my songs, you piece of shit. So I'm pretty sure the first one to do it was Darren Hayes, just super good, lovely young man. So he jumped on and basically just says, fuck off. I don't like you, I don't like your party, I don't like your values, don't do this. And then he tagged a bunch of the other musicians that were involved in it on Twitter and said, what do you think of this? And then all of them were like, oh, fuck you. So this is not an example. Was it the hilltop hoods? That were like legitimately like, fuck House, Weddings parties, anything. Just a fucking Powder Finger.

Oh yeah, fucking Powder Finger. They all got in there. They're like, you fucking grunk, shit, fuck off. And he was like, oh, oh, they, people are like to listen to their music, but they don't want me to listen to it because I suck. That's crazy. Yeah, he tweeted like music is for everyone.

It's not for you, mate. I love that shit, they're like suddenly turned into like dudes at Woodstock. It's great. Hey, man, man. Once again, conservatives that would have been banging on about like copyright law and charging people for torrenting and stuff like that, the same kinds of people are suddenly like, hey man, if you like, but it's a thing we all like, we should just be able to share a round-up.

You know, you can't own energy. So true. So true. Once the sound waves are out there, it's anybody's. It's anybody's the scoop up, but there he is. Yeah, there's a certain kind of delight in watching somebody post a big list of, and like, look, let's all be real. Corey didn't do this with like a team of interns or anything. Corrie just picked a hundred songs. He just sat down for a couple of afternoons. He googled Australian bands. Like, fucking... Classic Australian songs.

Iggy Azalea is on the playlist. Uh, fucking short stack is on the playlist. Yeah, he's literally just googled like Australian musicians. Yeah. So, but yeah, to put together that playlist of clearly of, you know, a bunch of songs you like, all the classic Ozzy rock ones, which I'm sure he had a hand in, and then to just have a whole bunch of those people turn around and go, oh, fuck you. I personally, I have a personal dislike for you. I just, I can't think of anything that would hurt me more than Jimmy Barnes, like commenting

on hating me. It would destroy me. Like surely that's got to be, uh, for an Australian conservative supporter, to see that happen. Surely you'd have to be like, oh, fuck, I might have picked the wrong horse here. Oh my, my side. Well, it makes me think of like, it makes me think of when politicians get asked to stop using

songs by musicians for like their rallies and stuff, you know? When like that you get politicians who come out to like Tom Petty and shit, and he hears about it and goes, stop, well, he doesn't, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, thi, like, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th.. I, th.. I, th.. I, th. I, th, th, th.. I, th. I, th. th. th. to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to to to to, to to to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to to to thi. thi, thi, thi, th come out to like Tom Petty and shit and he hears about it and goes, stop, well he doesn't now, but yeah, he would say like stop using my shit or like Bruce Springsteen or whoever will say to these people, I haven't, like I haven't agreed for you to do this and I'm requesting that you stop. And suddenly you get like, yeah, Conservatives doing it to like they keep using it to make a point that like freedom and they can they can they can they can they they they their they their their their their they their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi their their thi. tho tho. tho. tho. tho. their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. But, their. But, their. But, their. But, their. But, their. But, their. But, their, their, their, their, their, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi thi the. theei thei thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooes. the. the. the. the they keep using it to make a point that like freedom and they can do it. It's like, you're the ones who fight for like corporate copyright interests and shit. And so all of a sudden they're like, no, if you want to use it though, if you want to use it, it's fine. It's a, it's another bit of good thinking from Corey, which is what I love. He's a smart man. Everything that he does is very smart and good, in my opinion.

Yeah, I really like that he broke away from the liberals to establish his own serious conservative party and the entire thing so far has been focused on like posting memes and it's about it. Just this kind of stuff. Just I'm putting up a playlist. Did you say that? That thing that came up, I wish I could remember who posted it, but someone pointed out that his bio notes that he's the 88th senator for South Australia and it is 14 words long. Yeah, I saw that. That's a little weird. It's a little on the nose. Look, I'm personally, I'm more inclined to buy the the 88 than the 14 words thing because I reckon I tried to count it and I was like, there's like a link in the middle of here.

Yes, that that's throw me off as well. Anyway, yes, that it doesn't actually read his 14 words. But yeah, with the 88 thing, the guy who was rounding it up, he was just like, yeah, take like, he's one of 150 senators or whatever, but there's no way to sort of qualify him being the 88 one, he just is one of that many. Yeah, and thinking it's really weird. Like, that it is, it's a bit weird. It's a little strange. The thing is like, I don't know if Corey strikes me

as being the same as like some other figures who seem to want to do all of that cheeky, alt-right signifier stuff in their shit, like, you know, like the stupid white power hand symbol and all that sort of dumb winky shit. I don't know if Corey strikes me as the type to do that. Like has Corey been on any like the the dingo podcast as far as I'm where he hasn't been no, I think he just he just needs gay people. He's never been the super racist. It's just like Mark Latham and George Christensen who've done it. Yeah, Christensen went on it twice and then issued a big mayor culpab being like, whoa!

These guys anti-Semitic and white supremacists. It just escaped from my notice that whole time. Very convenient, that's good for him. What a shame if he had to be permanently tied to those people by having associated with them. It really got pretty glossed over. Like while it was happening, you know, everyone on Twitter that had a vague idea who these people were like, you know, he's on a racist podcast and everyone's like, oh, it doesn't matter. And then he showed the apology,

and then of course no one knew what he was talking about. So it was just like, oh, cool, all right. Yeah, and like Latham's done it, but he's out of politics, he doesn't have a career to rule him anymore. toilet. Let's see. Just a matter like I'm just picturing him getting like banned from Facebook and doing like a baked Alaska six hour YouTube stream home. He will. He'll get there. It just feels like a long long down but. But you got a video of Greg Larson from tonightly meeting Mark Latham? No.

So it went to, uh, it was like the launch of Latham's save the date campaign or whatever. And Greg Larson just said that he wanted to interview him and he was from the ABC. And then, uh, so you like got a photo taken with him and then he sits down on the couch. She's like, oh, what did you say? He was like, oh, I'm from from from, to. to. to. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to, to, I, I, I, I, I, to, I, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to to. to. to. to. to. to. to, to. We, to. We, to. We, to. We, to. We, to. We, to. We, to. We, to. We, to. We, to. We, to. We, to. We, to. We, to. We, to. We, to. We, to. We, to. We, to. to. to. to. to. to. th. th. th. th. th. to. th. th. to-a. th. th. to-I. th. to-I. th. to-I. to-I. th. to-I. to. taken with him and then he sits down on the couch he's like oh what do you say your probably is like I'm from tonightly and then Latham just stands up he says no no no I thought you were like a journalist and then just walks out the room. Oh dear Corey you massive gronk he's a gron congratulations on getting yourself yourself to the tuen't tue to the tie-oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the to the to to the to to to to the to to to to to to to to the the to to to to to to to to to he he he he he hee he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to the the to the to to the to to to the to to the to to the to to the to to the the the to the to the Corey, you massive gronk. He's a grong. Congratulations on- Huge grunk. Yeah, congratulations on getting yourself massively dunked on in front of the whole country by all of our musical legends. Great job.

Good job. Uh, yeah, so to all the people who asked for a bit of Corey, that's corny, that's ridiculous. He's absolutely ridiculous. I feel like he's actually gotten like more harmless since he moved over to the conservatives. I feel like he's just more of a kind of running joke now. He kind of has he stopped doing really crazy annoying shit. Well, you can't really do anything now. Do you remember a little, oh sorry. I'm very burky this evening. A little while after he left the party he complained that the media. He the media. the media. the media. the media. the media. the media. the media. the media. the media. the media. the media. the media. the media. the media. the media. the media. the media. the media. the media. the media. the media. the media. the media. the media. the media. the media. the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. they. they. they. they. th. they. the the the the the the th. He's the the the th. the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. He's the the th. He's the the. He's the the. He's the the the the tole. He's tole. He's tole. He's tole. He's tole. He's the the the the the th while after he left the party, he complained that the media weren't paying attention to him anymore. Yeah, yeah, that's right.

Because for a while there, he would like, hold up sort of balance in, and stuff like that, wouldn't he, and be like, well, maybe I'll vote with this bill and maybe I won't. You've got to court me, you got to, you know, follow up some of my stupid interests. But as soon as he pulled himself out of the party, they're like, fuck, great, we don't have to humor this guy anymore. And now he just kind of goes, oh, everybody always used to interview me and see what I wanted to say. And now, no, nobody wants to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the they they they they they, they, they, to to to to to to to to to to to to the they, to to to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to to to to the the the the the the to pull, to pull, the the to pull, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. I, they. I, they. I, they. I, they. I, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, but, too, but, too, but, they. That's very funny to me. Uh, friend of the show, Lucas Miller has the hypothesis that Corey Bernaddy is a secret massacist and getting publicly owned is the only thing holding his marriage together. He would be, I reckon he'd be a cuck. He'd be a super cuck. He wants his wife to be like, he's like a traditional tube where it's got like the racist tonene to to to to tune toen toen to to to to to to the to tune the to the to the thoen thoen thoen tho' traditional stuff where it's got like the racist tone to it and he wants her to be like sleeping with black guys.

Oh yeah. I have no basis for this but I just get a vibe. No, it seems true. Like he needs a black person to be having sex with his wife and for him to explicitly say it's part of the African gang crisis. This. Exactly. Oh, dear. to once Ben has said something worse than me. Hey, look, this is all strictly hypothetical. I don't think I've said anything bad. It's true. It's all very apathetical.

Okay, we're going to move on here just to a quick question from a dear sweet friend of the show and patron Alex Sol Watts. Big kisses from all of us to Alex. No, no, no. Alex asks, can you please confirm whether Buntavista is pro or anti-Pol relationships because I'm getting mixed vibes. Look, it's become a contentious, contentious topic on the show, where I believe Lucy has mocked Polly. Actually, look, look, I've mocked it, I've made fun of it, it doesn't mean I'm strictly anti it. People can do what they like, but it is a funny scenario. It's true. It's absolutely true. Ben, where do you stand on Polly? Look, I feel like I've been tarred with a very large brush on all of the episodes that I haven't been here. The big polybrush. I don't know if I would describe my current lifestyle as polyamorous. I do not have a collection of women with whom I am concerned. A harem of women. I don't know if I'd use that word.

I would use the word harem. They don't all they don't all have to be women listen to the actually that's something that would have liked to have corrected from the last episode the fucking Lucy and Theo episode they could be men. Mm-hmm that's unwork of us and I apologize. I think Polly is fine. It is a lot of work. I've been in like... It seems a lot of effort. I was in one that's proper like poly relationship for a little while where each of us were seeing like two people.

And it was like, what a fucking headache? Where I was just like, there's fucking rules. Like, it was heaven, it was amazing. That like being like, just there is some weird lizard part of your brain that's just like, I have a variety of options of people to have sex with. This is wild. And then immediately after that it just became like a scheduling nightmare and you're trying to balance a lot of people's emotions and needs, and I struggle enough doing that with me, let alone one other person in a relationship,

let alone two people. So anyone that can do it and doesn't turn it into some weird, dungeons and dragons-esque, labrinth of termin people. So anyone that can do it and doesn't turn it into some weird dungeons and dragons-esque labyrinth of terminology and rules. Well done to you. Otherwise, just don't. Don't. Yeah, I feel like you've summed up my feelings about it, and I am not a person with any experience, so let me speak on it. Let me speak on it.

Yes, not once. Yes, not once. So I can't tell you about two people sex, or, you know, sex with one person, and then the first person again. I can't tell you about exotic shit like that. But yeah, it's it's I very much have the same assessment of you Ben which is I'm sure people do it. I'm sure a bunch of people have fun. I don't think I've ever seen an example in the wild of like a working long-term poly relationship and it's probably for that reason because like you said, it's hard enough, it's hard enough to balance your own emotions and someone else's emotions. The idea to me of having like four people. I do know people that have made it

work. Like I know, I feel like maybe I've spoken about this in the podcast before, I don't know. I know three lovely young gay gentlemen in Sydney they're in a try tri. I. I. I. I. I. I. It. It. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It's. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's before I don't know. I know three lovely young gay gentleman in Sydney they're in a triad and they have been for God years and years and years and years and they all just exceptionally happy and it is amazing. What are you good on him? Good on him. They got the brass ring of sex you know? in my opinion one one person is too many? that that thi that tho' thi they've they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're their their their their their their their their their their their their their they're they're they've their their they. they're they're they're they're in they're in they're in they're in they're in a they're in a they're in they're in they're in they're in they're in they're they're they're they're their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their they. they. I they. I they. I've toda. I've today. I've thea. I've today. I've thea. I've today. I've thi. I've thi. I've their their thi. I on him. They got the brass ring of sex. They did. In my opinion, one one person is too many. Hmm. Is that just yourself? That's just myself. I'm Volckel so I date no one. So one is too many, two is excessively too many. Three somehow. Three is just... Is it? No, no, no, I've not tried that. Yeah, four is manageable. Five gets really easy. It starts to drop right off the more people think. Yeah. Yeah. By the time you get up to 12, you don't even notice. Yeah, that's it. It's just, come on.

Come on in, we got room. So our official opinion is, uh, uh, uh, that's it. It's just, come on, come on in, we got room. So our official opinion is, it's complicated. Yeah, yeah, that's the official, the official stance. We're all in favor of it. If you can get it to work, it just sounds like it'd be really very hard to get it to work. I respect it, but it's funny. I am, I will say that I am pro, th, th, th, th, that I am pro, th, that I am pro, th, that I am pro, th, thi, that I am pro, thi, thi, that I am pro, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, to to to to thi, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to get us to work. I respect it but it's funny. I am I will say that I am pro not hugely strict monogamy, not necessarily pro-poly, but like monogamy with a bit of wiggle room, it's very relaxing, it's very nice.

That's nice. Look I think that's absolutely, I think it's absolutely fine as long as both people are aware of it. That's the other thing that you're describing. Yes, yes. Is it shot at your wife Andrew? Yeah, it helps if both people, it helps if both people feel like that. Yeah, no, I feel like both people on your team have got to be on the same page on that one. Otherwise, it's just going to get weird, isn't that? Yeah. Yeah, I tell you I tell you who I don't get effort-wise, the people who do a whole other family. Are you talking to secret

families? My God! Yeah, people who just like fuck off to some other city, and then they're just like, oh I just fly back and forth between these two cities for work for 30 years. I think the internet killed the secret family like yeah because that's a story you just don't hear any more of people like yep when I was 12 we found out you know dad had this whole other family a couple of states over now you'd find out he'd accidentally do an Instagram post at whatever his other birthday parties. Oh man, it just strikes me as absolutely wild. Yeah and in the day is like like you're talking about in the days when travel would have been harder to it and more expensive doing a shitload of it. Just to it's not yeah not even

just to go and like cheat on your wife, but also have other kids and another house and a whole other set of responsibility. How much money these guys make it? Too much. Maybe, maybe that's the other thing that killed it in our age. We have no money. Yeah, wages are down, you know, people are living at home until their 30. How are they got to get two families in their parents' house? Yeah, that's probably what did it. The dreamers died. Avocados, that's what did it. Ah, ah.

Claddened. Ack. Any listener of the podcast that writes that as a thing piece and gets it published in like the SMH or something just avocado was killed having two clandestine families at the same time. Perfect. Perfect. Friend of the show Vlad asks, how about a nice clean episode with only good news and compliments. Well eat shit. Go fuck yourself. You fucking prick. You bitch, motherfucker. No. I gotta agree with Ben. I gotta agree with Ben. You should eat shit on this one flap.

I got a hand to Ben a compliment there in that I... Oh, thank you so much Lucy. That's very nice you to say. You're welcome. That is the highest compliment. It is. Now we got th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho that that thathea. I'm tho. I'll go go to tho. I'll tho. I'll tho. I'll tho. I'll tho. I'll tho. I'll tho. I tho. I tho. I tho. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. thi. thi. thi. thi. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to theea. to to thii. thi. thi. thi. thi. to say. You're welcome. That is the highest compliment. It is. Now we got an important letter from dear friend of the show Michael Latimer. He asks, has there ever been an Australian political scandal as funny as the Stormy Daniels one? I'm sure everybody is aware by now of the story in which US president Donald Trump is alleged to have paid $130,000 in hush money to like a big-tittied milf porn star Stormy Daniels. So this is... She's, I think she's done some details now?

Yeah. Wealth is just makes you dumb, I reckon, because like, instead of, because right, if you're super wealthy and you want to have sex with a big titty milf-like person, right, you would find a sex worker that matches that description, you would pay a much lower amount of money and it would all be confidential, right? But because you're rich and your brain's all fucked you think no I have to have that exact person and you're just opening up all these other liabilities and complications and it's foolish. It's very stupid. Yeah yeah I agree. So, although, sorry you've made me think of another thing here which is so somebody else listening to us talking about it. So, so, so, so, so, I agree. So, although, sorry, you made me think of another thing here, which is, somebody else who was listening to was talking about, was talking about Harvey Weinstein, no, sorry, Harvey

Weinstein and Louis C.K. like jerking off in front of a lady's and they were saying, oh, you know, why wouldn't you just jerk off in front of a hooker? The other person was like, I don't think that's what it's about. And I would agree with that. I would agree that maybe if you were incredibly dumb and wealthy for long enough, you would also stop thinking, like buying sex, that is boring. I need to hit on the actual lady from the TV. You know, you want that sense of ownership to be like, hey, that's literally what it is. You know that's how the thought went through Trump's brain? As I want to piss on or be pissed on by the lady from the TV.

No one else gets to do that with the TV lady. Just me. And folks, you better believe the piss tape is real. It's very probably real. It's 100 probably real. It's 100% real. You can tell it's real. Would you watch it? I'd watch it. I'd watch it.

You can tell it's real because the logic in it is so bad. Like, no one would invent a story where Trump got revenge on Obama by pissing in a bed that he once slept on far in the past. No one would be like, oh, this is a convincing story. It's only Trump's incredibly fucked up diet coke-addled brain that would see a clear through line there. Well, I definitely think that Trump seems like a petty enough person to do that kind of stuff. Because as we mentioned on a recent show, like somebody saying to me about how the funniest thing to them about Trump is his gold sharpie thing where he has a gold sharpy and he and he like sees things about himself in the paper or somebody else

that's wronged him in the past and he circles it and he writes a bitchy note on it and signs it with his name and he has that page of the newspaper posted to that person that the notes about. Yeah, if you're that fucking ridiculously spiteful for that to have been a years-long habit, then sure, sure he'd want to pee on the bed that fucking Obama slept on or whatever. Anyway, the question is, has there ever been an Australian political scandal as funny as the Stormy Daniels one? No, he didn't say sexy, he said, funny.

And look, we've got some options. We've got some options. I did pull up an article called Eight Australian Political Scandals that will make you blush by a friend of the show Alex Lee. Oh, dear friend of the show. What an angel. Dear friend of the show. And a couple of the examples, I'm just going to read out what she's got here.

There was, of course, former W.A. opposition leader, Troy Buswell, because he got caught sniffing the chair of a female staffer in an office in Perth Parliament House in 2005. Oh! His colleague told the West Australian that he sniffed her chair while groaning and making quote sexually satisfying noises end quote. Sorry, sexually satisfying. Yeah, it does imply that he satisfied her sexually by making his noises.

Yeah. Which is powerful. It's a powerful move. Apparently. That's a powerful move. Apparently. That's a good noise. Quote, Buswell opened the door really wide, grabbed a chair and started sniffing it, lifted it above his head, sniffing it and breathing in, going, oh yeah, she said. That is so hot. I think we could all agree. To my mind, a chair sniffer would crawl on the ground like a worm or a grub and sort of gollum-like creep over to the chair and just sort of get their face right in it. But there's something weirdly powerful about lifting the chair up off the ground.

It's a crowd, it's powerful. I like it. That's like the start of the Lion King kind of move. That is, just someone holding up this chair, snipping it. And yeah, and to think that he was still satisfying a woman with the noises he was making while he did it. That is a powerful... I guess it's not really embarrassing for him. This is the story of a powerful alpha male. That's right. I came in there and he was like a wild gorilla holding the chair above him, groaning. So look, that's a pretty good one. That's a pretty good one. But we also have Matt Brown. And that is not mixed martial artists. Matt the immortal brown. Thank you so much.

We are, yeah. I thought I would clarify. I thought you might mix them up. I don't say. Can't say I was thinking of him, but, uh, you. Matt Brown was three days into the job as New South Wales police minister when he decided a good thing to do would be to get half naked, stand on a couch at a party and gyrate on a female MP. Three days into the job. Which half of him was naked? I'm going to assume and hope top half. I feel like it would probably be noteworthy if it was bottom half. That would be pretty bad, like gywriting with the naked bottom half. All right. So at this point, at this point we can acknowledge that this has taken a turn for him, right? He's three days into his brand new job as police minister, and he's made a bold choice to get hammered at a party and dry rate on a female MP.

But apparently he followed up with turning to her adult daughter, who was also in the room and said, quote, look look at this I'm tiddy fucking your mother And quote I can't say anything non-problematic because that's tiddy fucking your mother. Look at this, I'm titty fucking your mother. It's got to be coast right? Like, it's a notable quote. A couple of shandies.

So he, a little bit of kind of... He was bottom half naked. Well, maybe he was. Why are you covering up the real truth of the story, Alex? After admitting to the fact he was promptly sacked, it turns out. That's good. It's good to know. Now, look at this. Michael, we got a lot of these. It says that there's a lot of this type of scandal. Continuing on, in 2007, Andrew Quar was a rising star in Conservative Party Family First

and a candidate for Western Sydney when pictures of him exposing himself appeared on websites like Gada. He also admitted to looking at porn websites, something that family first fights against and he was soon dumped. In an interview with Fairfax, Quar said it was possible that he posed for the photos, but insisted that the dick pick was doctored. Quote, that's not my penis, he said, suggesting that it could have been photoshopped. I really like, this is another power move, is to look at a photo and say, yes, that is a photo that I took where I was pulling my penis out of my pants, but that's not my penis. So they photoshopped a different person's penis on top of his penis.

A whole different penis to throw you off the trail. He just didn't want to admit that that was his penis. I'm assuming it wasn't a very impressive penis. Yeah, it might have been a bad penis. Yeah, it might have been everyone those real like angry looking like really red penises. What's those really red penises? It's really red penises that look real like angry. Do you have a really red penis right into the show and let us know? Yeah, like tell us if it's how that's working on. Because I want to know maybe it's like a... You know, the skin is irritated, or you've got weird circulation or something, or if it's just you've always got an angry-looking penis.

Yeah. Oh, it's possible that it just goes red in the situation, you know, like a blush. Like a mood ring that puts you on. You know? Hey. Hey. I think we have forgotten a very key similarity to the stormy Daniel situation, which is the former labor leader Kevin Rudd going to a strip club. Which are Kevin Rudd going to a strip club. Kevin Rudd going to a strip club which probably ultimately led to him winning becoming the prime minister in my opinion in my serious political opinion. Yeah that's fair I think plenty of people looked at that story and went so what we've all been down the Rippers. Yeah, it made people like him more.

They were like, this fucking wanker, this, you know, toss, tosser, wanker, Kevin Rudd loves himself, up himself. This little schoolboy. Yeah, schoolboy. And then he, yeah, he went to a strip club and everyone was like, hell yeah, that's the Australian values right there. That's our prime minutes. A red-blooded Australian male. Exactly. You'd be, you'd be so jarred if you were like, the staffer who dug that particular thing up on their dirt sheet and like got it into the news and everybody went, all right. And you're like, oh, like, hell yeah, we're gonna take him down and then everyone was like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, suck. It's finally going down. Nice awesome titties. Yeah.

So look, we've got another entry here. Former liberal leader Sir Billy Snedden died doing what he loved, banging his son's ex-girlfriend. Yeah. First thought to be a suspicious death, police searched for the mysterious, quoted deathbed girl. But it turned out that Sir Billy had a heart attack while spending the night with a secretary

who used to date his son Drew. This list is full of power moves. That's impressive. I respect that. I just don't feel like my dad has a chance with any of my exes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I recommend mine does. Oh, well, I've seen and met your dad. He's very charming. He's good looking. I feel like I've seen a picture of him and I've made a comment about how handsome means to be honest. Yeah, it happens. It happens. So, let's continue. Years later, his son had this to say about the heart-stopping affair to the Herald's son. It was an adrenaline filled evening. I'm sure the old man went out happy. Anyone to be proud to die on the job, he said.

Die on the job. Die on the job. Sucking my ex-girlfriend. That's disgusting. Oh, I love that dude's just into it it thia that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, thue that, thue that, that, that, thue thi thi- thi- thi- thi- thi- thi- thi- thi- thi- thi- tho tho tho, tho, tho, thi-s tho, thi-s thi th thi th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi to thi to thi to to thi to to thi thi to thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi I'm shocking my ex-girlfriend. Disgusting. Oh, I love that dude's just into it. He's like, yeah, go on dad. Yeah, he loves it. That's why it doesn't have a bad word to say about it. It's a very, very weird.

I feel like those are all pretty good sexy scandals personally. Yeah, I feel like it's also just very Australian culture to be like, yeah, that's cool. Whatever. Yeah, it's fine. Guy was tiddy-fucking your mother. Whatever. It happens to all of us, grow up. Yeah.

We have one final question here that, to be honest, I don't know too much about this at this point, but let's go ahead with it anyway. Friend of the show, Justin Frey McCulloch says, old mate Nick Xenophon quietly expanded his political party beyond S. A. Best, New South Wales best, Vic best, W.A..T. best ahead of state elections. Obviously they can't all be the best. So which one is the best and why? Ben. Wow, I didn't I didn't know about this. Please enlighten us Ben. I will hear from you first. Wait, what are the options again? New South Wales best New South Wales best, Vic best, W.A. Best, and N.T. Best. And bear in mind there is an existing S. A. Best. So there's no

Queensland. Correct. There's no Tasmania. Correct. So the two good ones are gone. Well also there's there's no ACT. I disagree. I disagree. Why is it called Best? Is this a Nick Xenophon thing? Yeah, this is how he, you know, he said that he's going to retire at the next election from his Senate seat and is your Senator or an MP? How can I can ever get this one, right? Uh, he's a senator, I think he said he's going to retire at a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the next. th. th. he. th. he. he. th. He's going to th. He's going to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Is th. Is th. Is the th. Is th. Is th. th. the the th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. thi. th. the. the. th. th. the. th. the. th. th. th one, right? He's a senator, I think. The senator. You know, I think he said he's going to retire at the end of the year of the next election or whatever and go into state politics rather than federal, which he has been at. And like, he has registered, so he's registered his party in S.A. And they're doing polling, and he's like out polling, the pauling, and he's the their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. thiioling. thi. their. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. their. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the th. It's. It's like out polling the current like ruling parties primary vote by like 20% nice he's hugely fucking liked in South

Australia apparently he had just a crazy crazy polling I haven't yeah Yeah he seems alright except for when he's making not great deals to get his own pet things through or whatever. Yeah, haven't we all? That's true. That's true. So true. But yeah, I don't know if that sort of trust that people have for him in SA is automatically going to carry over into other states. So what's your verdict, Ben? I'm waiting this whole into other states. Hmm. So what's your verdict, Ben? I'm waiting this whole time. Uh, wait, was the NT an option?

Yes. Yeah, I'm going to go with that one. Uh, staggering natural beauty. Mm-hmm. And the other one's a shit. I've, Victoria is okay. I disagree. Victoria will be the best. We have a, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, uh disagree, Victoria will be the best. We have a strong

Apex gang, African army patrolling our borders. It's so true. I'm in a very strong state. Yeah, I think that's good. They will be a very strong, they will be the best, the strongest best of the best parties. The apex, if you will. Yes, the apex, the very tip-top. Yeah. I'm gonna side with Lucy here because it just, I shouldn't go to New South Wales, that's all. Yeah, well that's absolutely fair.

We can all get that we can always agree on one thing. I'm glad that that that that is is is is is is implicit is implicit is implicit is implicit is implicit is implicit is implicit implicit implicit implicit implicit implicit implicit implicit implicit implicit implicit implicit implicit implicit implicit implicit implicit implicit implicit implicit implicit implicit implicit implicit implicit implicit implicit implicit implicit implicit is an anti this is an anti anti anti anti anti anti anti anti anti anti anti anti anti anti anti anti anti anti this is those. I tho. I'm th. I tho. I'm tho. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm thi. I'm th. I'm th. I'm thi. I'm th. thi. th. th. th. that. th. always agree on that. We always agree on one thing. I'm glad that this is explicitly an anti-New South Wales podcast. It's true. It's very true. So there you go, folks. That's about all we got. That's about all we got. If you would like bonus episodes to go along with this, the big meat, the big meat of your meal. If you would like extra potatoes to go with it, how do you like? We did a good bonus episode. Yeah, it was good. It was good. Hardcore literary analysis coming at you in that episode.

But yeah, so if you would like to get in on some of that, head over to Patreon. to visit, for only five US dollars a month. You can have to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th, which, which, which is th, which is th, which is the, which is the, which is the the, which is tho, how the the the tho, how tho, how the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thoe, thoe, thoe, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thoe. Wea. Wea. Wea.eea.oooenennexea.oennexea. Wea. Wea. Wea. Wea. Wea.nta Vista. For only five US dollars a month, you can have a bunch of extra episodes, which is nice if you like the show. If you don't, you don't have to listen to them. You do actually. Oh look, as long as you're subscribing, it's fine. If you subscribe, it's required. It's put into your ease. Whenever you don't want it, it's some real black mirror shit. It's. It's right, it's right, it's right, it's right, it's right, it's right, it's right, it's right, it's right, it's right, it's right, it's right. It's right, it's right. It's right. It's right. It's right, it's right, it's right, it's right, it's right, it's right, it's right to to to to th. It's to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be to be to be to be to be th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. the. theat the. theat the. the. theat the. theat theat thi. thi. black mirror shit. Yep, it's right in there. Also, if you enjoy filling in little forms with five stars and not a star less, you can review us on the old IT and store. If you're into that, four stars unless we don't want to hear about it.

Don't want to hear about it. Five stars though, lay it on us. And that's it, everybody. Do you guys have any messages of inspiration for the week? Uh, no. Not in the slightest. That would require being positive. This, this is really a message of inspiration so much as just, uh, everyone should go and see the fishman movie. Oh, I love the fishman. Would you fuck the fishman? Oh, absolutely. Yeah. I was really horny for the fish guy.

It made me really uncomfortable. We're talking about the shape of water right? Yes. Yes. Yes. Okay. No, it's talk about water. Jaws or something. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, God was talking about water. Not jaws or something. Yeah. Oh yeah. Oh God, just thinking about Kevin Costner's like a lank, thin wet hair draped across his balding skull. It really does it for me. Yeah, he has the exact same hair as Filch from the Harry Potter movies for Water World.

But yeah, shape of water. It was really good. It's very funny, and it's very sweet, and it's very nice, and everything looks gorgeous and... It's very nice, but also horny. Very horny, incredibly horny. And it gets into the hornyness very early on in the film as well, like the first, like two minutes of the movie. Yeah, it's very clear that she's horny for the fish guy. I would just like to push back on this slightly by saying that all evidence points to the idea that Lucy is made extremely horny by all movies. I can't think of any opposing evidence for this, to be honest.

So I am... All I was thinking about them was how horny both of the recent Star Wars movies met all all three of the recent they made everybody horny. They made everybody horny. Right so obviously we're talking about wide boy shirtless Kylo Ren. And what else? His body is as unrealistic as the sea monster. Let's be real. Yeah, that's fair. But what about the other Star Wars movies? What were the horny parts of those?

Oh, Diego Luna, he's a beautiful foreign man. Oh, so not explicitly being horny, he's just a horny dude. He's just an attractive man. Have you seen? He is a guy whose presence makes Lucy Horny, that's what we're establishing here. Much like Damarin Poe. Is that a guy? Much like, just, just every, just every film. Thank you.

Lucy, have you said. Yeah, that's what I'm getting at, every movie. Uh, It's a mama tambuian. I have, I have indeed. That's the horniest movie that has ever been made. Yeah, it's it's perfect. It's just, oh boy. It's my fantasies were made into a film. I know I got to that last scene I was just like well I don't even need to use my imagination anymore. We're done. We're done here. This is this is it. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Glad we agree. I would actually I would actually argue that the horniest movie of all time is

1998's Barb Wire. I have that on VHS. What is this movie? It is an adaptation of Casablanca starring a very haughty Pamela Anderson. Yeah. Set in a future dystopia. Yes, her character's name is Bob Wire. That sounds amazing. The opening sequence, I'm pretty sure, is the only scene in the movie in which you see Nips. And it's, it is Pamela Anderson's Nips. She's just like... She's just like... She's nips. She's just like pocketboard on her on a stake.

Yeah, the whole credits is just like her stripping under a hose. It's good stuff. And that everyone's fully closed for the rest of the movie. It's great. A truly nightmarish dystopia. I guess you guys are the ones that are horny for movies. No, still you. This movie is horny. Not that I was hoining for it. All thanks, please, please, please write into the show and tell us your horniest films. The films that got you most steamed under the collar, the ones I made your glasses fog up and the little cartoon wipers come up.

Ugh. Please do. Let's do a horny movie episode. Yeah, I want that. We can, and we will name and shame the people that submitted them. If we agree that the movie is horny, that is fine. If it's not a horny movie, that person will shame. Oh, I'm ready to get shamed for getting horny over weird science and stuff stuff like that. Yeah, but everyone gets horny over weird science. It's got a babes in it, so. Hell yeah. Kelly Lebrockers is very, very hot.

Kelly Lanarkas, more like. Yeah. Have some respect, then. Yeah. There you go folks. So we also do things like that on Patreon. Get over there. Other than that, we'll see you next week. Bye everybody. Goodbye. Bye. the