Boonta Vista - EPISODE 312: The Egg Queen Of Forest City, Iowa (with Miles Klee)

Episode Date: September 2, 2023

Writer Miles Klee joins Lucy, Andrew and Ben to discuss: An egg reunion 72 years in the making, a $10 million ham, a mystery sound in Pennsylvania, and interacting with the public art in Geneva. *** Follow Miles here: https://twitter.com/youwouldntpost Read Miles here: https://www.rollingstone.com/author/miles-klee/ *** Support our show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista *** Email the show at [e-mail]! Call in and leave us a question or a message on 1800-317-515 to be answered on the show! *** Twitter: twitter.com/boontavista Website: boontavista.com Merchandise: shop.boontavista.com/ Twitch: twitch.tv/boontavista

Welcome to Buntvista episode 312 and you're at the 2023 finals of the International League of Getting Yeled Out on the Internet. Our first finalist dared to write a post noting that he had picked up a 10 kilogram box of books from a house 20 kilometers away without first noting that he was an American and doesn't live in America, causing 16,000 Americans to become disoriented and fly into a violent rage. It's Ben. Hey Ben.

I don't know if they'd just never heard any of those words before. I think Canada is on the metric system, right? So like... sometimes. They should have heard about it, but somehow you can't just be like, wow, it's a beautiful 30 degree day here and they'll be like, what? It's freezing. It's so cold. Are you cold? It's furious. No, I'm wearing shorts. I'm wearing shorts. Well, I mean, I'm wearing shorts. I'm never not wearing shorts. So that's not a good indicator, but yeah. You want pants when you came to visit me, but yeah, that's the one time in the last two years that I have worn the pants. Wow, you have to buy them? Did you already

own them? Uh, I, oh, no, sorry, I tell a lot. I bought pants for when I went out to Tazzy pants in Camber. There you go. You're traveling pants. You're traveling pants. That's. the, you. the, you. the, you. the, you. the, you. the, the, the, the, the, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tap. th. tap. tape. tape. tha. tha. tha. t. t. I've. tha. tha. tha. tha. I've. Yeah, the. Yeah, t. Yeah, t. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I've. I. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. tried. tried. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. Ithe subtropics, I've become a whole different person. Well, that voice you hear is a woman who posted a joke about a person having the characteristics of a Sagittarius rising. Foolishly mistaking the sun's sign, which is determined by the person's birthday, for the rising sign, which is determined by the time that they were born. I not a good time for a trial. Oh boy, our third finalist Theo can't be here because he posted that people should drive the speed limit or preferably just under the speed limit and was brutally assassinated by a Texan less than six hours later. He makes people so mad every time he says that you should just

drive the speed limit. Yeah. You can't do that. They're always like, well, yeah. If you're not in the overtaking lane, you should drive the speed limit, well, you know, a little bit over, sure. And they're like, no, no, you should drive the speed limit. And they're like, I'm going to kill you. their limit. And their, just, just, just, just, like, like, like, I I I I I I I I I I I I I, like, like, like, like, like, like, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I'm like, I's, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, their, I'm going. I'm going. their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. they're they're always th. they're like, they're like, they're always they're like, they're like, they're like, their, their, they're they're kill you with a gun. I am importing a Dodge Ram to run you over with. They already sell those over here and they're too big I don't know if I've said this before but stop taking the key house of us so much. We're all still thinking it. Well I guess that makes all of us hold on a second. Is that by God? That's Miles Cleese music. Miles is a culture writer at Rolling Stone, author of the novel Ivy Land. He also dared to write an article stating that Q and unadjacent film, Sound of Freedom, isn't good, causing him to become the most yelled at man on the internet.

Thank you for joining us, Miles. Thanks for having me. Thanks for not yelling at me. Yeah. We still about another 57 minutes of this. Could happen. Uh, you've been getting yelled out pretty hard for a while now, right? Yeah, no, I, the last, um, last frightening email I got was a Google screenshot, uh,

like a Google Earth screenshot off my block in LA. Oh, from a 4 4chan freak who said, nice house. Cool, that's a fun experience. I got one of those ones. Oh really? I was just thinking about that, Ben. Yeah, 4chan, Nancis posted a photo of the outside of my house.

And it was just like, hey, this is where he lives. Oh, no, I've got to start living less out loud. Yeah, you know, my security security, our security, our security, our security, our security, our security, our security, our security, our security, our security, our security, our security, our security, our security, our security, our security, our security, our security, our security, our security, our security, our security, our security, our security, our security, our security, our security, our security, our security got to start moving less out loud. Yeah, you know, our security people were slightly reassured that it was like a satellite image as opposed to like someone who had just shown up and taken a picture. Yeah. Not good though. No. Yeah.

And full credit to you Ben. You still do not lock your front door. Well, you don't have to say that on the podcast, but yeah, that is true. I've only been robbed twice, you know? If it happens a third time, I'll start, I don't want to carry keys with me. Awful. No, thank you. Jinkling, they jab into your thigh.

I also just fall out of my pockets because of the style of short that I wear. It's very, um, there's really fucking annoying and I can lose them at any time. I only, um, just back to Sound of Freedom. So, what, the guy that's in Sound of Freedom, Jim, how do you pronounce his last name? She had Cavizal. Cavizal? I only just had someone remind me the other day that he was one of the, the lead actors in the thin red line. And he is phenomenal in that movie. He gives such an incredible, beautiful, moving performance. And I was like, wait, that's the weird, like, go down, back the guy. Passion of the Christ, Jesus? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think he's currently telling people that a passion of the Christ too is going into production in 2024? Yeah, they've been saying there for a while, right?

A couple of years now. But I think him saying it- He's coming out of a cave with an AR-15. It's time. Pharisees, you're going down. Oh my god. Well, look, there's a lot of things out there that people take very seriously in the news. And we th th th th that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that are that th are that pa that is that is that is thate thate is thate is thate is that is thateate's thate's thate's thate is thithat people take very seriously in the news. And we also cover some really serious news here as well. We don't want to make it seem like we're making light

of serious news or anything like that. So everybody's strap in. We've got some important stuff to cover here today. It's time for the generic stinger and it's the something report or something watch, yeah. Yeah, it's, well, or it's just, that's something we use as a placeholder by pretending that it's a segment we've done before because I can't fit it into any of the segments. We have done the egg report before.

Yeah, this is not the first egg report we've ever done. This is a segment with some history on the show. th. I. I. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the th. I the th. I th. I th. I th. I the th. I th. I th. I th. I thi thi thi thi the the thi thi thi thi the the the the the thiiii the the thi the the thiiary the the the thiiiiary thiii thiiiii thiiiiii thiii. thi. thi. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th. th. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thin thin report before. Oh. Yeah, this is not the first egg report we've ever done. This is a segment with some history on the show. I can't remember what the history is. Don't know what those stories were. Might have been the spate of eggings that were happening in... Yeah, we're on the egg bait. Okay. Remember that there was people saying that things... Someone's putting beans on my the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their eg. eg. eg. eg. eg. eg. eg. eg. eg. the egg eg. eg. eg. eg. eg. eg. eg. eg. eg. eg. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their eg.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e. the people saying that the thieves work? Someone's putting beans on my doorstep and throwing eggs at my house. And if you don't clean up the eggs, that means you're in Ibitha and the thieves are going to kick your door down and steal your bloody flat screen.

It's right. It's a hard life for some. So this is some of the hard-hitting news, the news, comes to us from KCCI in Des Moines in Des Moines, Iowa. Woman reunited with egg, she autographed 72 years ago, thanks to social media. Yep, that's beautiful. The one positive accomplishment of social media so far. We did it after however many decades we finally got there. Absolutely worth the genocide, all the rest of it.

A woman in Iowa wrote her name on an egg right before it was shipped out on a truck. That was 72 years ago. That's a really long fucking time. To keep an egg. You've moved houses, right? Like you've moved that egg between homes. The man who bought the egg in a carton at a New York City grocery store kept it for decades. Always wondering who left their signature on the shell. Displaying the egg that came into his possession about 20 years ago, John Amalfitano said,

1951. It's unbelievable. He says his former neighbor was the lucky guy who to the guy who originally to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to the 20 years ago, John Amalfitano said, 1951, it's unbelievable. He says his former neighbor was the lucky guy who originally bought it. What makes him lucky? What's lucky about getting a signed egg? It's a special egg. That's a win. This is crazy though that two people were like, so 1951, guy gets an egg in an egg cart. He sees a name on there and he's like, holy, this, this, this, this, this, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. He's, th. He's, th. He's is is is is th. He's th. He's thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, is thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, says, says, is thi, thi, is thi, thi, th1, guy gets an egg in an egg cart. He sees a name on there and he's like, holy, this is, I'm keeping this.

That's really something special. 20 years later, he's talking to his neighbor and he's like, oh, I just remembered, I meant to ask you, I have a special egg. Would you like it? Wait, no, not 20 years, sorry. Wait, so he holds onto it for it years and then he asks his neighbor, would you like my special egg? The neighbor. Maybe his neighbor was dying and he was like, I have to make sure that the egg lives on. Someone, someone's got to find this egg. And then this guy, whose neighbor gave him an egg, crazy on its leg. It's just like, I'm gonna hold on to this. It's just like, I'm a hold on this. It's, th. Yeah. Yeah. It's, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th. the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, their, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the, thin, thin, thin. And then, he. And then, he, he, he, he, he. And then, he. And then, he. And then, he. And then, he, he. And then, he, he. And then, he, he, he, th. And then, th. And, th. th. And, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the, their, their, their, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's he's, he's their, their, thin, the. And then, the. And then this guy, whose neighbor gave him an egg, crazy on its surface,

it's just like I'm a hold on to this for two decades. That's like, just a crazy commitment. That's like... To an egg. Yeah, to an egg. To one egg. Finishing every date. So, uh, I had a great time tonight. You, um, you want to come up and see my special egg? You want to... And you can only trust your special egg friend to take care of the special egg after you're gone? Yeah, I guess you do need like 50 years to find the right egg egg. Yeah, I don't know. There should be like an entire season of succession about who gets the special egg. This is weird secret society of like the keepers of the egg.

Do little hand gestures at each other. Are you also a friend of the egg? It's like the movie Shazam except the wizard is trying to find someone to look after his egg. Haven't seen it. Not a big Shazam fan. I shan't be seeing Shazam. I'm I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their's. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. It's is. It's is. It's is. It's is. It's is. It's is. It's is. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's is. It's. It's is. It's is. It's is. It's. I's. I's is. I'm the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thea' the thea' the. It's the to find someone to look after his egg. Haven't seen it. Not a big Shazam fan? I shan't be seeing Shazam. I'm aware of it. I've never seen it. I'll be too busy watching the Scarab. Okay.

Or whatever the fuck that is. I don't know. The Blue Beetle? Yeah, thank you. The Scarab. Well, it is. Okay, great. Scarab kind of Beetle as well, as far as I know. Hmm. Written on the side of the egg. Mary Foss, Forest City, Iowa.

Whoever gets this egg, please write. This woman held hostage in a bar. I'm really trying to picture how that much is written on an egg? What kind of pen she used? What pen is she using? You could sharpie on an egg for sure. Yeah, but how are you fitting? What kind of sharpies to have a fine point sharpy in 1951? Where was it was? Where was it?

Sharpie inventive. I spelled every single word wrong. Oh, interesting. They probably had a fine point marker. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thin thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thin, thin, thin, thin, th, thin, th, th, th, th, you th, you th, you th, you th, you th, you, you, you th, you th, you th, you th, you th, you th, you th, you th, you th, you th, you th, you th, you th, you th, you th, you th, you th. You th. You th. You th. You thi, thi, thi, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, the. the. You could the. You can can the, you can the,64. Oh, interesting. They probably had a fine point marker before the invention of the sharp. I'm going to, you know what, I'm going to guess it was a pencil. Okay. Yeah, I mean the lead's held on for a very long time. I mean the egg is held around for a long time.

Yeah, well, that's probably the more remarkable. There is a photo of the egg. Oh wow, she's beautiful, spidery handwriting. I want to say that's pencil. That's absolutely pencil. Yeah, just very gently written, I'm sure. They used to teach kids handwriting nowadays, they're teaching them woke. Yeah. Instead of cursive, they're learning pronouns. It's fucking disgusting. Even I was too late to be taught this type of handwriting in America. It's really sad. That's for nanos.

That's for all ladies. I write in huge block letters. Yep. If I attempted to write a huge block letters, if I attempt to write in a egg, would explode under pressure on the first touch. I'm also forced to write long case letters while keeping them legible. I'm just thinking their hands. This is making me feel really good. This is making me feel very valid about my block letter writing. And also, if there is some circumstance in which I don't have a computer that I can take notes on and I'm actually writing notes like on a notepad in a meeting, it takes

about 30 seconds before my arm feels like it's going to fall off. I'm gripping that pencil so tight, I'm pressing down too hard. You know? Yeah, but you know so much about work and pronouns because that's what you learned instead of. Yeah, the only thing you're writing is they them. Am I right? That's right. Woo, comedy. Ugh! An Alfatano continued, and the egg is still inside.

It was never drained. Like I said, it's still got a little weight to it. It's just like frozen in time. Going to ask. Okay, just, this is such a mite equibble. But he's saying that the egg is still inside the egg. It's not the egg is, as a concept as a whole. The whole thing is the egg. Shell and everything. What the hell this egg still has an egg in it? So you would have preferred him to say the yolk and the white if it still is. Yeah.

The egg is a concept. Yeah. The egg remains. Are you saying that like no one has taken a syringe and removed the liquid content of the egg. No one's blown this egg. Yeah, you tap in the little pinhole at the top and bottom, and then you make a real... No one's done in Ocean's 11 heist on the inside of the egg. This thing's got a smell, right? Well, it's still a normal egg. What a rotten egg?

I think it's a nonpernable barrier to smell, I the You can't smell a rotten egg until you've cracked it, right? And that sounds like a truism. Yep. But I also think it's true about eggs. It could be true. You can't smell a rotten egg until you've cracked it. That means there's like multiple reasons now to keep this egg safe and secure. One, enduring legacy of three quarters of a century of egg ownership. Two, no stinky. Don't want to smell bad. Reason number two, stag. Neither he nor his neighbor, the 50-year egg holder, had ever been able to track down Mary Foss from Forest City, Iowa, until Amalfour to... and they've both spent years, I assume.

It's a red strain. Every weekend driving around Iowa. Yelling Mary out the window. I mean how many Mary Fosses can there be? Yeah, how is she expected to get a letter? Forest city Iowa population, let's find out. So they've never been able to track her down until Amalfitano made a post in a Facebook group called Weird and Wonderful Secondhand finds that just need to be shared. A secondhand from his neighbor who has had it for 50 years.

Like it just, you found the egg in a thrift shop. That's so good. So I'm just looking at a map of Forest City. You think you could have covered the whole place by now, Ben? It's what you said? There's like 4,000 people there, so it's not huge. There's just two places outside of town that seemed very interesting to me. I'm quite intrigued by Pilot Knob State Park and the Pilot Knob Waterfowl production area. Both beautiful. Yeah I bet they're

gorgeous. Seneca Dubby. You bet Pilot Knob is gorgeous. Yeah. I should be so lucky. I bet there are some co-pilots out there getting some pilot knob, am I right? Yeah. Amalfitano said, I think it's love. I think people felt like they fell in love with Mary Foss. Huh? From the egg? Yep. From the handwriting on the egg, from the beautiful human connection of being reminded that your food comes from somewhere. And that people facilitate this. I, yeah, yeah, yeah, I bet the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the that, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, yeah, uh, yeah, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, yeah, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, yeah, yeah, yeah, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. Yeah, that, the handwriting on the egg, from the beautiful human connection of being reminded that your food comes from somewhere and that people facilitate this. I bet the woman who wrote that message on that egg is a fucking dime. I bet she's an enormous racist. I bet she has some things to say about like the Japanese, like really old-fashioned.

Mary Foss you are cancelled. She's bringing back slurs that we've never heard. Do not put her on camera under any circumstances. Just tell the story about the egg interviewing everybody else. Mary, why did you want people to write? What did you want to say to the world? Wow! Thousands of likes, comments and shares later.

And Amalfetana was finally connected to Mary's daughter, who told him her mother, Mary Fossedar., their, their, thost, their, thost, Mary, thunner, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, thunner, thunner, their, thunner, thu, thu, their, and shares later, and Amalfitana was finally connected to Mary's daughter who told him her mother, Mary Fostan, is now living in Mason City. Quote, that's odd for an egg. Starr told Sister Station KCC-I. It must have all been dried up inside is what it was. Ah. Very Iowa in response. Yeah. Mason City is a 40-minute drive away, so obviously this a lot has happened in 72 years. Yeah, huge, huge life arc, bringing her barely a quarter of the way across the state in her lifetime.

Of Iowa. barely a quarter of the way across the state in her lifetime. And now we finally get Mary's reaction here. Reunited with an egg she wrote her name on and forgot all about. I don't believe she forgot it. She didn't forget for a second. No. Every night. Yeah, it goes to sleep. The last thought is. Why didn't they fucking write me? Haunted. But the egg has now gifted her with a new friend. The 92 year old isn't the least bit surprised. So, I'm assuming here that her response is in reply to being asked, are you surprised that somebody has returned your egg to you 72 years later?

And Mary says, not really. Nope, not this. I've had a lot of big deals like that come up through life. You have lots of things, and it's kind of fun when it does. Pardon? You have lots of things and it's kind of fun when it does.. to to the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. Are th. Are to be to be to be to be to be the the to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the least. I the least. I the least. I the least. I the least. the least thea. the least thea. the least thea, thea, thea, the least thea. thea. I thea. I thethat come up through life. You have lots of things and it's kind of fun when it does. Pardon? You have lots of things and it's kind of fun when it does. What's going on in Iowa? You have lots of things. She was just signing things willy-milly. Oh, she was like doing a scatter shot approach to just send it out. And she said one of these is going to take 70 years to come th. th. th. th. th. th. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. the. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the. the. thi. th. th. th.these is going to take 70 years to come back. Oh my God, you know what? This is almost definitely a hundred percent fucking certainly not the only egg that she signed. It's not like one whim while she was handling thousands of eggs a day.

She did this constantly. Everybody else who worked with that farm, fucking hated Mary, because they're like, we have a quota and that bitch is over there signing her 40th egg of the day. It's writing slurs on every second egg. It was it was the middle of the 20th century and she was trying to go viral already. Oh god damn. Paper's definitely going to interview me about this in a month when someone returns it to me. Who's this Mary? I should marry her. Someone would probably th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th th th th th the th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeat theeeeeeeeate-fooo-foenen. their their their the's this Mary? I should marry her, someone would probably say back then. Everyone's talking about the egg queen of Forest City, Iowa. Trying to like manufacture a little destiny moment. Yeah. She's right though, you do have lots of things and it's kind of fun when it does. Yeah, a lot of big deals come up like that

through your life. You have lots of things and it's kind of fun when it does. That's really true. Yeah. I like the way that she talks about having this egg eventually returned to her one time as like, sure, I got a purple heart and also won the Super Bowl. Not a big deal to me. I've had lots of big deals. I feel for the local the local radio affiliate guy who's trying to get her to say anything about the egg and she's like yeah that's normal. Whatever. Okay. It's normal to me. Here are my thoughts about the people of Guam. Please please just tell me about the egg. It's normal when an egg comes back. Calm the fuck down.

Incoherent 90 year old. Neither Starn nor her daughter knows how an egg could survive for 72 years. Yep. I guess you leave it alone? It's not that baffling, right? You just didn't really, you didn't break it. This is where my editor would be like, did you ask an egg scientist? It's so weird to say, well, these two people don't know, and then not follow up with a clarification from anyone else. They're not experts. Hey. I think we get so many stories like this pen where somebody goes, and everyone decided it was unusual.

Like, that's kind of the end they just leave it there you know. Smalltown reporter resources maybe. Yeah, I mean they've only got so much time but it is very funny to be like, we asked a man on the street who said he didn't know why a truck would do that? Yeah. There's only so much shoe leather you can afford in the media world of today, you know. They must have had a good refrigerator, Stan said, jokingly. Now that's good. My favorite parenthetical. That's just, yeah, like if you have to stress because it's not hugely a joke. Also like, a fridge is kind of work or they don't. Like there's not really like a wow, that fridge sure keeps things cold. Mine really keeps things cold though. It's like a

really good refrigerator. What are you talking about? I personally don't believe that you need to keep eggs in the fridge. Although I do keep my eggs in the fridge. I keep mine in the fridge, but I also believe you don't have. Oh my God, this is a cultural thing. I thought you had to keep them in the fridge. You guys do. No, Americans do. Because they washed or something. Because they wash the shells?

The layer off the top of the shell in America. They don't do that over here. eggs and not. Oh my goodness. Crazy. And also we can eat raw pork if we want because you guys have triachinosis and we don't. So eat shit America. I love to talk about the triaconosis thing. I'm seeing some advantages. Trying to act happy while I eat another heaping bowl of raw pork. Mmm. Delicious. Can't do this, can you? I mean to be clear Americans will eat raw meat for no reason. Yeah that's very unsafe. It's true. So like it's but yeah there's nothing stopping us from doing it. It's just just the health concerns. I tell you what Ben after 72 years years, that egg's probably old green inside.

And what goes with green eggs? But ham! It's time for ham watch. Haem! There was just like no reason to go through Dr. Zeus to ham. There was just like no reason to go through Dr. Zeus to get there. You couldn't take it like a straight line of eggs to ham. Yeah, but like if the eggs old's th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th goes th goes th goes th goes th goes th goes th goes th goes th goes th goes th goes thoes with thoes thoes thoes thoes the thoes thoes that that that that that that that thoes, thoes, thoes, thoes, thoes, thoes, thoes, the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the the the the the the the the the that's that that's that that's that that that that that that that that that that that theeeeeeea. that that that thea.ea. thea. theee. You could have taken like a straight line of eggs to ham. Yeah, but like if the eggs old enough it's conceivable it could be green.

That is, I mean I'm not arguing with that. It might be green internally, but we'll never know. No, it would lose all its value. I'm going to break the egg. Just setting up like the fucking mechanic from across the street with a sniper rifle you pulled out of a briefcase. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I th. I'm th, I'm th, I'm th, I'm the, I'm the the, I'm th, the eggs, the eggs, the eggs, the eggs, the eggs, the eggs, the eggs, the eggs, the eggs, I's, I the eggs, I the eggs, I the eggs, I the eggs, I the eggs, I the eggs, I the eggs, I the the the the eggs, I the the the the the the eggs, I the eggs, I the eggs, I the eggs, I the eggs, I the eggs, I the eggs, I'm the, I'm the, the, theat, theat, theat, theat, theat, theat, theeat, theeat, the eggs, the eggs, the eggs, the eggs, the fucking mechanic from across the street with a sniper rifle you pulled out of a briefcase and just popping that egg. Oh, green! I'm going to Iowa and I'm finding out what color that egg is on the inside. Going to uh, Mr. Analfa Tano's house, I'm gonna need a ballpene hammer. He doesn't need it anymore. There's no point in keeping the egg. Yeah, he's got his fame.

Yeah, he got his what he wanted out of owning that egg for 20 years. Well, he killed perfect high. He killed the mystery, too. Oh, true. Do you think it was better not knowing who that lady was. Do you think it coming full circle and her being nonplussed it's kind of ruined the magic of the egg? Yeah, it's like meeting your idols. Disappointing. Her being like, oh, it's one of my eggs. Yeah.

Oh, you found one of my eggs. Cool. Big deal, I don't care. She's like to make that guy and his neighbor go kind of feels like it wasn't worth the 50-year long search, you know, yeah keeping that egg safe anyway, ham. This comes from WNKY in Kentucky, wonky. The wanky, no? Girls makes more sense. Yeah. 18 pound ham goes for 10 million dollars at Country Ham breakfast. No, okay. Y'all's makes more sense. Yos makes more sense. Yeah.

18 pound ham goes for $10 million at country ham breakfast. That's more than I would pay. Yeah. If I'm being really honest. You're idiots. I would have paid $20 million. The Grand Champion Ham, a phrase I didn't know I needed until now, at the Kentucky State

Fair is worth a whopping $10 million. Now I don't want to get philosophical here. Would you say that the Ham is worth $10 million for it? Is any ham worth $10 million dollars? It's worth what someone will pay for it? Yeah, it's so true. So true. That's how much it was auctioned for during the country ham breakfast.

And all of that money is going to charity. Well, that's a bit better. All right. It's going, let me guess, a police union. Oh, Kentucky State Fair. What are we talking here? This, all right, with a combined bid of $10 million, former UN ambassador Kelly Craft and her husband Joe Craft, along with Central Bank, won the Grand Champion Country Ham. That's a strange combo of people to pay $10 million for Ham.

Kelly Craft, Joe Craft, and Central Bank? Yes. That is not. Weighing in at a little over 18 pounds, this beauty was produced out of Lyon County and as always the proceeds go to charity. Kristen Brand Scum, Craft Family representative says, this money will go to build 57 new homes for families in Not County and a new community called Chestnut Ridge for families that lost everything

in the Eastern Kentucky floods. But who gets to eat the ham? Yeah, do you get to eat the ham? Is it a good ham? Immediately signing the ham and sending it away. I mean, they're not going to just turf the ham, right? They eat the ham, right? You have an dinner puppy. It's so good having a ham.

I get a ham at Christmas and having like two weeks worth of ham sandwiches. Holy fuck, it's heaven. You just wake up and go, what am I going to have breakfast, ham sandwich? Man, lunch Also ham sandwich. Life's fantastic. You fry that ham? I made a ham rum and once, on account of I had so much ham. Did you buy the ham? Yeah, I bought that ham. All right, yeah, sounding like it.

I am Central Bank. How good would a $10 million ham taste? Just like, knowing that every bite is like, oh, I just had $500,000 worth ham. Phrush. That's how a good ham tastes. Like $500,000 in every bite? That's a good prompt, like a good advertising slogan if you were to start a ham company. It only costs however much, but every bite tastes like five hundred thousand

dollars. Branskum speaking on behalf of the crafts says each corner of Kentucky will benefit from this record-breaking bid. They're gonna cut off a little piece, post some out to everybody. I'm gonna guess that the southeastern corner of Kentucky will not benefit. They're just, they're cutting them out. You get the bone. More than 1,600 attended the ham breakfast Thursday morning, including Governor Andy Bashir and Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell. That guy can't eat ham.

There's no way that man can eat ham with his mouth. They gave him a sort of ham smoothie that they blitzed for him. It's too salty for him anyway. I can't be doing that. Wet old man lips smacking down some cold ham. Fucking disgusting. Watery eyes, quivering with excitement as they bring over his plate of mashed ham. Whoa. Whoa, whoa, wall. Here's a spoon.

I love how many American stories we come across that are like, oh, it's just during the country ham breakfast. You just would not hear the words like the ham breakfast. Like it's an event, like the spaghetti dinner spaghetti dinner yeah beautiful beautiful place country ham well it does seem like country ham breakfast is a concept and a dish as well as an event over there that's what that's what you do for brunch if you're not a liberal elite you know a ham country breakfast. Yeah and there's nothing wrong with that okay Obama, Brandon get him get your

goddamn hands off my country ham breakfast. I think I think Biden would eat a nice like ham jelly just out of the jar. Yeah he would look great doing he would have like a stupid hat on too, it would be great. He's wearing aviators. This is a good, this is a good ham jelly. Oh, slap it on a mug, Jack. Country ham and red eye gravy and the gravy has coffee in it. Okay. Get behind that. A bit of fried, fried ham and eggs for breakfast

and some biscuits. That's what's up. I'd eat it. So what's up? Commissioner of Agriculture, Ryan Qualls, also attended the event. He said one of the things he's most proud of is how far the country ham breakfast has come. I'm going to be honest with you, the country hand breakfast used to be a fucking shambles. It was in a bad place when I took office. Ten years ago, I wouldn't let my wife see the country hand breakfast. Actually, the gangs controlled the hand breakfast before this, and he cleaned it up. Took over control of the country hair breakfast from the Median cartel. This is a, this is a cool thing for the Commissioner of Agriculture to say.

A lot of state fares are known for particular things, Quayle said. Iowa is known for a butter cow, Kentucky is known for now as $10 million country ham. They just wanted to put themselves on the map with this ham. Yeah. When people talk about hams, in that same breath, they're always going to mention the $10 million Kentucky country ham. I was actually known for signed eggs. I don't know what people are talking about.

Hi everybody, it's me. It's Theo. Now I guarantee you I'm more afraid of recording this promo than you are of listening to it, so hear me out. If you haven't already, maybe check out our Patreon. It's a great way to support the show and it gives us the ability to actually dedicate time to this thing. You'll get all of our bonus episodes, it's over 300 extra episodes in total, and we'll set up a feed over there with none of these promos, so you the promos, so promos, so promos, so promos, so the promos, so the promos, the promos, so th.. th. th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, the the tho, tho, tho, to tho, tho, the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. tho, tho, tho, the, the, thr-a-a' thr-a' to-a' to-a' to-a' to-a' tho-a' tho-a' tho-a' our discord, which honestly is turned into a nice and funny place full of mostly normal people to hang out with. So that's Patreon.com slash Bunter Vista. Check it out. Oh boy. Yeah, sometimes something happens that is a big deal, like the Country Hand Breakfast, and sometimes not much of anything at all happens. And we cover that in the Nothing to Report report. It's time for the nothing to report report to to th normal normal normal normal normal normal normal normal th th th this this this this this this then this this this this this then this tho this tho this tho this tho this this this this this this this this this this this this this tho this this this this this this this this tho thoom thoom thoom this tho this this this tho this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this that in the nothing to report report.

It's time for the nothing to report report report report. It's the nothing to report report, report, report, report, report, the nothing to report, report, report, report, the nothing to report, report, report, report, the nothing to report, report, report, report. What happened? Nothing. Nothing to report, report, report, report, report. Nothing to report, report, report, nothing to report, report, report, report. Nothing to report, report, report. Nothing to report, report, report, report. Nothing to report, report, report.

Nothing to report, report. This comes to us from the morning call in Allentown, Pennsylvania. Police investigating loud, ground shakingshaking boom in Upper Makongi? McKangy. Mekongy, sorry, I should have specified that. Investigators are tried to determine what caused a loud boom Friday morning in Upper Makangi. Could be anything. Anyone want to guess? Uh, gender reveal, probably. It's almost a gender reveal.

Too dead. A mind collapse as a result of a gender reveal. Firecracker mishap. Township police said in a news release that officers were called Friday morning to the old town community near the intersection of Grange and Ropsville Roads for a report of a loud ground-shaking quote thud end quote. That doesn't that's different from a boom. Yeah that's so disappointing it's just a thud. You really downgraded that you know like boom is that says to me like explosion gunshot you know violent kind of sound thud is more Someone upstairs from you dropped something. Yeah, totally. You know

Hey, did someone drop a bowling ball up there? Probably not, but it kind of sounded like that Yeah, like I walked into the couch. Yeah, accident There's reports of a ground shaking thud followed by an owl. Responding officers searched the area and did not find anything suspicious or out of the ordinary. Investigators also spoke with UGI representatives, who also confirmed to the department that there were no reported issues or problems in that area. Do the cops not have much else to do in Allentown or Upper Makongi? I feel like if I called the cops and I said I heard a loud noise.

No, they were lucky for the thud, absolutely. Just trying to get out of the house, you know? They got to justify their existence every single day. Oh, well, I mean, it sounds like they're getting the funding to do just that. Police said there were no reports of destroyed structures or injuries, and an aerial search conducted with the assistance of the Lehigh County drone team. I think you've gone like a little bit overboard. Also found no damage. We have scared into the community.

No, no, they actually got a budget increase for anti-thud body armor. We've tapped into everybody's Amazon rings. We've had a look and made sure that no one's doing anything noisy in their house. The United States Geological Survey also reported that there was no notable seismic activity according to the release. They have, there's just no stone unturned here. Yeah, they've investigated. Good reporting. Those who contacted the police department said that they heard a loud, quote, thud or, quote, boom. And in some areas, the vibration shook items off walls in houses. Okay.

Okay, all right. That's a loud, that's a loud boom. That's not a thud. Lead with that over thud. Yeah, idiots. B. Shaking items off the walls of my house, I'm not calling that a thud, you know? No, I've been through many earthquakes here in LA and even then I don't think anything's

fallen off the walls at all. Okay. So that's significant. That's more than a thud. Why are they underselling it? It's just a confusing order of magnitude here. Yeah, surely there should be like some sort of style guide for like, loudness of noise noise noise noise noise noise noise noise noise noise noise noise noise noise noise noise noise noise noise noise noise to to to to to to noise noise to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I I I I I I I I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. No. No. No. No. No. No, I th. No, I the. No. No, I'm thu. No. No. No, no, no, no. No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I've the. I've th. I've th confusing order of magnitude here. Yeah, surely there should be like some sort of style guide for like, uh, loudness of noise to the onomatopoeia you use to express it. Yeah, let's get it together. You can't be like, yeah, once you're in shit falling off the walls, you're into boom, the territory for sure. I would maybe brook a bang, but I think a bang is less loud than a boom, to my mind. A bang is a gunshot though, it comes out of the gun with a little flag. That is true, yeah. I think dynamite also, no dynamite definitely goes boom. That definitely

goes boom. Either way, I'm not calling the cops if I hear a loud noise, are you? I'm posting on next door. I'm getting on the next door and I'm saying, did anyone else hear loud noise? Just confusing spaces between some words and none between others. LA is great just for people who will get on there and say, I got woken up by a helicopter at 3 a.m. last night. Does anyone know what it was there for? You're in LA, motho-facuctor. I've seen the movies, they're everywhere. And then all the comments are you need to move. Yeah, we, I feel like the only, the only ones I occasionally get here are always the, the medical transport ones going over to the hospital. Yeah, I get that's about like once every one or two days and I'm always like, oh, a helicopter.

Oh yeah, no, I live right next to the hospital. That's... Oh yeah. And if you're a Fortan Nazi, don't figure out where I am based on me saying I'm right next the hospital, okay? Yeah. He lives at the hospital. His door is never locked. I'm in a closet. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. the. the. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. t. t. t. t. t. tha. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. never locked, don't go around that. I'm under, I'm in a closet underneath the helipad. Special ICU, and yet the rent is too high. Am I al right, Ben? Oh man, I'm fucking, I have been waiting for a god damn week for the piece of shit property managers to get back to me

after I sent a counteroffer to the fucking rent increase that they just god damn sent me $85 dollars a week. 85, is that legal? It's perfectly legal. There's nothing stopping them from doing it. And I said, hey, that's a shitload of money and this place sucks. Yeah, they haven't got back to me. It's been like eight days. I'm going crazy. to thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to th. thi. to thi. thi. to thi. thi. to to to to to to to to to to to to to thi. to thi. thi. thi. to to to to to to to thi. 85. 85. 85. 85. 85. 85. 85. 85. thi. 85. thi. 85. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to to to to to to to toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. 85. That's still very large. And yeah, they haven't got back to me. It's been like eight days.

I'm going crazy. Every time I look at my emails, I'm like, am I about to find out that I have to move out of home? Renting fucking tuce. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, they can only. Yeah, let's do that. Let's do the remaining 20 minutes about how labor are fucking useless. Very mad about it. It's really ruining my week. It's ruining my calm.

Wow. It turns out we have a very disappointing Prime Minister, but as we know all too well, Po Buddy's Nerfect. Yeah. Yeah, that's true. That's true about fucking Anthony El-greasy. Does he have like a dark Brandon turn in him? I think he just is the same as all of our like nominally left-wing politicians and they just don't. They just don't do anything. They're like, oh, you accidentally elected us? Oh, fuck. What are we supposed to do now?

Everyone's going to to fundraise to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to us. How are we going to fundraise off this? That's right. I think it's I think it's very parallel to the Democrats there where they get in and they go, aren't you happy that you voted for someone who isn't like a 4chan guy? And it's like, cool, well could you do some stuff for me and they go, no no, no that was that was that was that was that was that was, that was, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. And, th. And, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi. the. the the to. to. to. the to. the the to. the the the the the, no, no, that was it. That was it. I'm just, I'm not saying any explicitly racist stuff. There are fewer typos in our social media posts. I've banned Pepe the frog from government websites. Yep. Mission accomplished. That's about it.

Anything about the climate change? Or no, no, no. Orange man. the, the, the, the, the, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho, tho, th. th. tho, tho, that's, that's, that's, that's, tho, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. It, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, thi. It's, thi. It's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, thi. thi. thi. Orange man bad. Yes. We will be saying that climate change is real. You're welcome and that's kind of where it stops. Do that photo opportunity wearing a fucking Rio Tinto branded goddamn work shirt. Politics is back, baby, woo! Pobody's Nerfict.

Tick, Tick, Tick, Tick, Tick, Tick, Tick. Pobody's Ner-ex no, no, no, po'body's nerve-exe, no, po'-body's nerve-ex, no, whoopsy, d'e-daisy, yeah, yeah, po'body's nerve-ficts, eh, yeah, yeah, t-hubes, Yeah, nobody's never said, no. The story comes to us from the BBC. Man hurt after mounting Geneva's giant fountain. Aw. Poor little guy. Oh no.

A young man had to be taken to hospital after getting too close to one of Geneva's most famous landmarks. The Jet-dea fountain. Now the jet part I feel is gonna become relevant. Is it jet jet? Look, it's probably jet. Zed-uh. But I choose to believe it's jet because the unnamed person was hurt after the force of the water threw him into the air before he landed on the concrete below. Oof.

That's a bad time. Oh, it means water jet. Your fountain is called the water jet fountain. That sucks man. Got him. Fucking Swiss bastards. Have some imagination. Geneva is in Switzerland, right? Yeah. This never would have happened in Disney world. No. They would have been like 20 like Rick de Ser screen Disney employees running between that person. Yeah. You see that video, viral video from like six months ago

of the Disney employee stopping someone from doing a proposal up on like a platform at Disney World? That's the job. That's the job. Fuck him. Fuck your love. It's so funny. He's just like he snatches the rig out of the guy's hand. Just has this giant smile on his face. He's like, wouldn't it be better if you did it down here? Like, oh, very, um, specific person out of the time. They were blocking the view of Cinderella's castle. Everyone else. Come on that. Saltish. We live in a socialist country where you cannot get away with that.

It's Biden's America. I got those Disney Commandos. Immediately like radioing the snipers posted around the place. Take him down. Take him down. The state of the fountain climbing man's health is currently unknown. The Jet Burr projects 500 liters or 110 gallons of water a second, reaching up to 140 meters or 459 feet, according to the company that operates it. That's crazy. That

man got the fastest, cheapest colonic irrigation anybody has ever had. You know that big one you've got in Canberra that you pointed out to us when we're there. How, how tool does that one go, you reckon? That's that, thi' thi thi thi thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, the, the, the, the, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi ever had. You know that big one you've got in Canberra that you pointed out to us when we were there? How tall does that one go, you reckon? Because that looked fucking huge to my country bumpkin eyes. Located in the central basin of Lake Burley Griffin, directly in front of the National Capital Exhibition of Brigada Point, the Captain Cook Memorial Jet sends water to a maximum height of 152 meters. Oh, shit! I didn't know that was the Captain Cook Memorial Jet. Yes.

Yeah, he loved fountains so much. He was a big super soaker fan. Now this is way less impressive. I didn't realize this is smaller than cameras. Oh, who cares. A little fountain for babies. Yeah. I, like, I don't think I'd want to get. to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get the ca the ca the ca the ca the ca the ca the ca the ca. that was the ca that was the Captain the Captain that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was the Captain the Captain the caa. the ca. the ca. the ca. the ca. the ca. the ca. the ca. the ca. the ca. the ca. to get to get to get to get the ca. the ca. the ca. the ca. the ca. the ca. the ca. Captain ca. Captain ca. Captain cook. Captain cook. the ca. Captain ca. that's the ca. Oh, who cares. Little fountain for babies. Yeah. I, like, I don't think I'd want to get blasted by either of them, in fairness. I think the, I think the Captain Cook fountain is the kind that would like, take the skin off your hand if you put it in there, you know?

Yeah. But at least, this guy thulde- the thi thi thi thi th guy landed on concrete. Yeah, that's not ideal. This dude rules. Swiss newspaper... I'm trying to visualize, what was he trying to do? Yeah. Well, the answer is, Swiss newspaper 20 minutes said the man who was thought to be in his 20s

crossed the barriers surrounding the fountain on Monday evening, perfect. I don't know about calling him a young man. Like obviously being in the 20s is young, but yeah, who else would do it? Yeah. I mean, a man in his early 20s is the most dangerous animal on this earth. A man in his 30s would not be doing it. No, a man in his 30s would be too worried about hurting his back, I think. He first tried to put his face on the nozzle where the water is gone from, but was thrown backwards.

Come on! He then tried again. What? Ha'est, this guy's crazy. This guy's crazy. And it wasn't enough. I just like, no, I'm thirsty. How drunk was this dude?

No, I'm 22. Let's go. They really think that it's unstoppable, yeah. God damn. A friend of mine, I want to say, last year or the year before, I saw him after not seeing him for a couple of weeks and like his arm was in a cast, and I said, what happened? And he went, oh, I broke my elbow because I was riding like one of those electric scooters, you know, the little rental ones. They said, yeah, me and a friend were on them and we went past a skate park. It has to be noted that this friend is my age.

This friend is my age. This friend is my age. We are both in our early 40s. And he was like, yeah, so, and he's like, the crazy thing is, I was pulling off some fucking sick tricks before. Before it happened. And I asked him how drunk he was when this happened and he said that he was stone cold sober. Oh that's terrible. Yeah I went what what I would

just be way too scared. It'd be way too scared. My bones are getting more brittle by the year and I'm so aware of it. What sort of tricks are we talking? I'm just like the scooters weigh like 60, 70 kilos. I'm assuming going over something and landing, you know, like. Crazy. That's an insane thing to try and do. Yeah. And also you want to be drunk so that when you inevitably hit the ground, you roll. Yeah, you want to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to to be, to to to be, to be, to be, to to be, to be, to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to the the the to be the the th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th.... threathea. threathea. threathea. threathea. threathea. throoooooooooooooooooose. thea. threate. threathe throoooskk., threathea. the. the. roll. And break your elbow. Yeah, you're floppy. You want to be relaxed. Yeah,

you want, exactly. That's um, I kind of want to try that now though. I've been thinking a lot lately about it can't be that hard to like cut the wiring out of those things, right? Like if you just got an angle grinder and you took off the, the, like a section of the, the, like, the the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, like, the, the, the, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, to, th, to, to, th, to, th, the, that, the, the, that, the, the, the, things, right? Like if you just got an angle grinder and you took off the like a section of the handlebar, the upright that goes to the handlebar. So you can probably just get out the wiring and unplug all the shit from like the GPS and whatever, right? I'm just a Googling lime scooter theft guide. I think it used to be easier. Can you steal a lime scooter? Beginners guide. This is from e-vehicle hub and there's another post here. How to hotwire a lime scooter step by step. So it's sounding pretty good for you. Here we here people just early on had like a really

great sort of anarchist impulse to just destroy them instead of trying to steal them. Yeah, which I support. I don't support throwing things into waterways generally, but I think on balance I'm pro if it's a rental scooter. Yeah, it's also just fun to just kick them over and then somebody's got to come in the car and pick them up. You're keeping the car and pick them up. But they get paid to picking up.

Yeah, you're keeping the economy going. I'm a job creator. Yeah. People love fucking leaving them in the middle. I know I'm becoming an old person and all I do is complain. I piss me off. I see what on my street and I'm fucking angry. People love parking them like, like, in the way, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I.... the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th th tttttttttto, ttttttto, tttthe. th th th the the the the the the the the th that seating at the bar where I'm like, you can't just leave your fucking this scooter that will beep angrily at me if I try and move it in the middle of one of our walkways, you dopey fuck. What do you do? I had a neighbor in LA who did not have a car and use the

scooters all the time, but he did have a parking space As though it were his and it's not just like a scooter that anyone to rental come by and pick up. He was just, he was basically just hiding it. Was it a, was it like secure parking? Did you need to like swipe to get in or was it accessible by the street? It's just down a driveway. Like someone, someone could have seen it on the app and come looking for it basically but Well like the scooter guy like three in the morning with a rental van like coming in this is again This is a guy who is you know like 24 and probably put it would have put his mouth on the fountain In Switzerland so different way of thinking that's all I'm gonna I'm gonna send you this guide to stealing a lime scooter bin. Thank you. Not that I want a scooter, I like walking, but I also think they're putting,

these things got to be worth a couple hundred bucks each and they're everywhere. And you can get a battery-powered angle grinder for like nothing, like dirt cheap for bunnings. You just sold them in half. Let's grab a chainsaw. It's as simple as disabling the brain, which controls the GPS tracker alarm system and other functions, then removing the impact plates, oval controller, battery and controller, cutting its cables, joining the cables to a third-party controller, rearranging the battery, impact plates and oval controller cover, and then just, you know, having a free scooter.

Yeah, it's that easy. It's that easy. Huh. Well. Well. Well. Well, well. Well, well. Well, well. Well, well. Well, well. Well, well, well, well, well. Well, well, well. Well, well. Well, well, well, well. Well, well, th. Well, th. Well, th. th. th. th. that's th. th. th. th. thi. that, that, th-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-a-i-a-i-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th-s. th-s. th-s. th-s. thi-s. than-s. tha-s. tha-s. tha-s. tha-s. tha-s. tha-s. tha-s. tha-s. than-s. than- It's that easy. Well back to our friend putting his face in the fountain. So he tried again and was sent upwards by the power of the water before crashing down onto a nearby sidewalk. Now that makes me sore just hearing it frankly. Oh Jesus. The man then dived into Lake Geneva before being picked up by the authorities who had been alerted by passers-by and taken to the hospital. What a great way to try to evade capture.

He's doing a Harrison Fort fugitive. After you've hurt yourself, he just jumped into the leg. I'm assuming the police showed up and he went, let me out of here. I didn't put my mouth on it. I didn't put my mouth on it. I didn't do it. Corners of his mouth bleeding. Eyelids all stretched out.

So he was picked up by the authorities who have been allowed to bypasses by and taken to hospital. Police officers came and asked to urgently shut off the jet-deer to be able to go and get him, one witness told 20 minutes. SIG, the electricity company, which owns and runs the fountain, has reportedly said it will file a complaint against the man for trespassing. Wow. It's the fountain damaged. That's fine.

Like surely he's already had the punishment. I like how it says the state of the man's health health health health health health health health health health health health health health health health health health health health health health health health health health health health health health health health is is health health health is health is health health health is health is the health health health health is the the the punishment. I like how it says the state of the man's health is currently unknown. So like, is this guy dead? Yeah. Yeah, I don't, I don't go but the problem is. I think this is all just free publicity for the fountain. I think so. I think everyone wants to go see the fountain that bodied that guy. I might be showing my ass as a very uncultured, unsophisticated person, but at the start of the article where they're like, it's one of Geneva's most famous attractions.

What are the other ones? Lake Geneva. What have they got there? I can only think of Lake Geneva. Yeah, okay. They've got a place where the Geneva Convention was saying? I thought maybe there was a giant cuckoo clock made of chocolate. Oh, okay. That sounds probably real. That sounds better than the fountain.

Oh my god, I just googled at Geneva attractions. And the first thing for topss topopsopsopsopsopsopsopsopsopsopsopsopsopsopsopsopsopsopsopsopsopsops the the the the the the the the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other thoes the other the other thoes the the thoes the the thoes thoes the they're they're they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're god I just googled Geneva attractions and the first thing for top sites in Geneva water fountain. Wow. I have a feeling that's the only thing they've got. So one of the sites. Jesus Christ the trip advisors ten best things to do in Geneva updated 2023. Number one, Lake Geneva, number two. Jet. That's it. It's covered. Number three. Cathedral. Mouse on the jet. How mad are you if you work at like the Museum of Natural History, Botanical Garden, Palais de Nesion? Any of these museums or anything? So it's like, no, we've got? No, we've got a, we've got a, we've got a, we've got a, the, the, the. that's like, that. that. that. that. that. that, that, that, that, that, that, that. that. that's, that. that's that's that. that's it's that's that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that, that, that, that, that's, that's, that's, that's that'sais de nesion, any of these museums or anything. So it's like, no, we've got a water fountain. It's just like a single jet water fountain.

Look at the water, it's going up. Check it out. The BBC has approached SIG for comment. About what? About what? I don't, I would pay to see the video of this. I would love to see this guy getting absolutely destroyed by a war in the fountain. Yeah.

Isn't it kind of weird how like 30 years ago you would never have had footage of like a crazy spur of the moment thing happening to someone because it just we didn't have cameras going all the time. And now it's weird for something like this to happen and no one was filming it. Yeah. What crazy world we live in? This world's so fucking fucked. Yeah, I would say if I saw that guy doing. Yeah, I would say if I saw that guy doing that the shit-de-de-uh-uh- guys want to hear some one-star reviews for the JETDU? Yes.

From someone from London who was there in April of this year. What is this thing? I don't understand why this hideous thing has four stars. No need to make a detour. It's not to be seen, but it's a landmark if the turret gets lost. What did you expect? Why did you come to Geneva? Someone here from the Bermingon? Look, it's very similar to our big fountain in a lake, except ours is bigger, where you drive past it and you go,

huh, like I'm not pulling over. You're not gonna stand there and like stare for 15 minutes or anything. You get lightly misted, which is nice. Another person here from Birmingham saying, really don't see how this is a tourist attraction, I think it shows how little Geneva has to offer. Oh, a lot of complaints about it being shut down. Another person from Florida, I don't get it. Nothing special in my opinion other than it's now symbolic for Geneva. If you're in Geneva, you'll see it for sure and take your photo with it, one star. Hmm.

Great. Cool. That was more of a two-star review. Yeah, they kind of put a little positive spin on it. Like all of these are one-star reviews saying it wasn't working. Like, why would you, that means you didn't see it, which means you can't rate it. It makes me so mad. It's like people that review a restaurant one star and it's like, oh, my booking, they didn't have my booking. I went and they were closed.

This isn't useful to me. Many people, everyone does that. We got a three-star review from someone a little while ago, like the bar, where the guy was like, obviously this place has a lot of good reviews, but I just wanted to offer a different side of the story. And his complaint was that they were all craft beers on tap, they were too hoppy. Are you serious? My man, you are in a craft beer bar?

Why did you give us three stars? You could have said, not really for me. I don't th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. that, th. th. that, that, that, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, than, was, to, to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. tha. tha. th. Oh, I mean he did also say that he was asking about stuff that weren't beers and the person was surly. And I know exactly who it fucking was. Tim, you piece of shit. You've got to be nice to customers even if they don't drink beer. God damn it. Yeah, sorry. I bring a lot of my personal gripes into a podcast.

I'm enjoying it. Got rent problems, your helicopter noise. I would like to visit the bar. Oh, it's nice. I'm pro-the scratch by Milton. Check it out. We try our best each and every day, except for Tim, who tries 90% of his best each and every day. He's an owner.

He's an owner, he doesn't have to be nice to people, it's fine. Oh well, that's fair. That's your right as an owner to say, shut up and get out of my bar. Yeah, he just does a thing sometimes where people be like, what have you got other than beer? And instead of being like, oh, we actually have a lovely selection of independent wines and spirits from across Australia, we have several cocktailss we make, and we have He goes, you sure you don't want a beer? He tries to steer them back towards it. And it works on some people, but not everyone. It would make me buy a beer. Yeah, I guess I do want a beer. Yeah, you're right.

Absolutely. Give me that lager. That sounds lovely. Good point. Yeah. I think that was, uh, technically an episode of the podcast, Buntavista, would you guys agree? I would. Yes. Tremendous. Do I have to sign off? Yes. Yeah, it helps. It absolutely helps. Yeah, we need to have quorum for this to work.

Do you have anything you'd like to promote currently in your life? You could just read me at Rolling Stone. Miles Klee, that's all. And I think I'm on my third Twitter account. Do you want to follow me there? Yeah, I was gonna, I don't know what your Twitter handle is now. It's a, you wouldn't post like the meme of a, you wouldn't download a car. Yeah, I, I threatened Trader Joe with violence last time, so, um, oh, okay. Because he's a real person and because you can't to to to to to to to to to to to follow to to to to to to follow to to to follow to to to follow to to to follow to follow to follow to to follow to follow to follow to follow to follow to follow to follow to follow to follow to follow the the to follow to follow me to follow me to follow me their me their their their me their me their me their me their me their me their me their me their me their me their me their me their me their me their me their me their me their their their their the the the the the the the the the the the the threaten threaten threaten try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try to follow me. to follow me to follow me violence last time. So, um, oh, okay.

You know, because he's a real person and because you can't threaten to kill. Trader Joe, specifically. At grocery store, trademark. Yeah, you get thrown out of the site. But I'm almost back to a follower count I had on the second burner, so. Is Trader Joe a real person? Was there ever ever a th th th ever a tho? thi Joe? th th th thi thi th thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I'm thi. I'm, thi. I's. I's. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. Because. Because. Because. thi. thi. Because. th. th. th. Because. th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. theeat. theat. to. theat. theat. theat. theat. theat. theat. threateat Was there ever a Joe? Yeah, that was going to be my question. I don't think he, I don't think his name was even Joe.

It was some guy, he's already dead. I didn't kill him, by the way. It's dead well before the threats were made. Yeah. But of course none of the contexts matter to Elon Musk. Oh, I'm on that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all the the that's all tho. tho. tho. tho. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. theoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooes. the. the Musk. Oh, I'm on Blue Sky, that's just my name. Though that's all very interpersonal drama right now for some reason. I haven't logged on in a while. No, me either. Instagram. Oh yeah, definitely, definitely check, definitely log into blue sky and just get really confused right away about everyone who's yelling at each other. Oh, perfect. And leaving the site and good stuff.

That's the best pitch I've heard for going over there. I've not, I'm not that old and that all. I'm opening that straight after this. But if there's a lot of juicy G and a lot of catty business going on, I can be tempted over. I love watching people I don't know fight and then their their their thua thua thually thually their thu. choosing who is the person my back. I think Blue Sky is amazing right now because it's like, it's like six people you don't know

who all know each other and are all fighting. And fighting for the glory of the, it's very Highlander right now. Like, only one will be left at the end of it. Check out Blue Sky. Sounds great. All right, well that's it from us. Have a lovely, normal week. Let's see you next week. Bye.

Bye. Bye. you know the