Boonta Vista - EPISODE 316: A Hard Zero Of Dead Birds

Episode Date: October 8, 2023

Lucy, Theo, Andrew, and Ben bring you: A mystery package from Florida, heading towards a billion dead birds, and a duck walks into a bar. *** Support our show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista *** Email the show at [e-mail]! Call in and leave us a question or a message on 1800-317-515 to be answered on the show! *** Twitter: twitter.com/boontavista Website: boontavista.com Merchandise: shop.boontavista.com/ Twitch: twitch.tv/boontavista

Oh my goddrey, natural wire. So much natural right. Stained glass windows. Oh shit. This is your new place, yeah. Yeah, it's a band. You're telling me stained glass windows? Still not the cloak.

Oh, there we are. Oh, there we are.. Oh, there we are. Hello and welcome to Buntavista, episode 316. I am Ben and... Hello and welcome to Bunt de Vist. Episode 3.1 and I'm here in America. Every day I'm waking up to eat five hamburger sandwich, kissing my hideous wife and children goodbye and riding my horse to work at Le Factory de Gonne.

With me is ordinary 21st century peasant Barnabuse Magondale who has Le Brainbleed ground from playing too much football American and lives in Idaho in the city of Poise. It's Teo. Bonjo Teo. Howdy. You know, you have to do it in a French accent because we're doing an intro where where the French version of Buntavista pretending to be Americans. Oh, so small.

I thought you were a French guy visiting Americans. Yeah, in French on, yeah. I'm with it now. I'm visiting America in Yeah, in French on, yeah. I'm with it now. I'm visiting America in my imagination as a French guy. And I'm also visiting France in my imagination as an Australian man. Uh-huh. Yeah, so what I need you to do is I need you to riff about America from the perspective of a French person with a French accent. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, see. Bezobola. Oh. F.

It's good. Oh, see., well, yes. Also with me is regular American salary man, Ronald Smeet, who has never looked at a painting of a nude woman in his life, has no health insurance, and insists on only smoking those disgusting American-style filtered cigarettes. It's Andre. Bonjour. Bonjoujo.

Bonjah. Oh, I cannot wait to finish my non-union job. Where nobody does le riot if we are forced to work 80 hours a week. Then finally I can take my ugly wife. I do not have a mistress. I take my ugly wife to the latest movie Marvel. Oh, watching the filmed superhero. Oh, oh, I love the American art. I love the American art. And afterwards maybe I take my disgusting wife to the garden of the olive. I love putting my German. It's like, the garden of the Olive. I love putting mine. I'm getting more German as like,

the Garden of the Olive. Olive Garden. It comes with me to the Olive Garden. I will have one olive. And will you smok in restaurants? And will you sulk in restaurants? No. I will not. They will not let me, they do not respect my freedom, despite their silly flag.

So I just put their retirement age up to 65 and I did nothing. I just sat there and I went, oh, that is a shame. I did not set fire to a single policeman. In fact, I respect the policeman. I kiss the policeman. I kiss the policeman. I love the police. I am America and love the cops. Mea. And Flansard. Last but not least, with me, the normal housewife the American. Armpits completely shaved, holding 20 American babies named the brandt while driving a NASCAR to work at the missile factory.

Is Lucille. Hello, Lucille. Hello Ben. I'm a team up Mackenzie. Oh. And you just know they are spelling it crazy. I love, I love the branch. I love the monogamy. I love the monogamy.

How you say? How you say? Monogamy, fidelity, corporationity. Anyone else got any? Yeah, layered improv in them? Nope. Hey, you know what? Sometimes we run out of our own ideas and we need people to send their ideas into us.

I'm just saying that as a segue. We don't need you to send your ideas into us. But sometimes they do. And we listen to those ideas and we say them aloud. We've just got most of them, like 95% of them. Beaks them into existence. Yeah, I read them, I go, huh, and it is quite interesting. And then I just sort of, it's gaze into space for a little while. It's time for the Buonto Vista hotline.

One, eight hundred, three, one, seven, five, that's the Boltivista hotline. One, eight, hundred, three, one, seven, five, one, five, that's the Boltivista hotline. You can send us an email. Mail bag at Bolivista.com, maybe DMOS on Twitter. You could even message Facebook. We don't really check the Facebook count. One eight hundred three, one, seven, five, five, that's the Bunterter Vista hotline. So the other day I received a bit of mail in my letterbox addressed to me, which is

how it got to me. It had a little opened by Australian Customs for inspection sticker on the outside. They feel really left out if they don't get a little peak. They were a little peak. Would that be so fun just getting a little peak? Oh my God, every desire you've ever had to be like, what's in there? I'm a find out. Yeah, we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we can. Yeah. We we can we can. We we can we can. We can we can. We can. We can. We can. We can. We can. We can. We can. We can just. We can just. We can just. We can just. We can just. We can just. We can. They can to just. They can just. They can to just. They will to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to, every desire you've ever had to be like, what's in there? I'm gonna find out. Yeah, we can just check.

You want to look at that suitcase? I'm so glad you asked, I do. Not only do I want to, but it's also my job. Hey, they put one of those $3 padlocks on there? What are they hiding? Let thua? tho? tho? tho? tho? tho? tho? thi. thi. thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi. thi? thi. thi. thi. thi. tho. tho. thi. thi. thi. thi. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. thi? thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi? thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thi. thi. thi. thi. th get in there. There's no way we can get through that. Wink! It came to me from Bradenton, Florida. It's quite intriguing because I don't know... Bradenton. That's right. Imagine the French guys from earliest. Have fun. So I came with an invoice. It was interesting because I didn't buy anything from Florida but also came with a little letter addressed to me.

Here we go. Hi Ben, thank you for the orders. I'm not sure how the orders got split up into three different orders. In the future, maybe we can work this out better. If you order and wait for combine an invoice, I might be able to ship altogether. Please let me know how this arrives. Diane. I also received another letter. Sorry for the supply, no for the shipping issues. Please contact me and we will work something out. Sorry, I've got another one here.

What a paper here. This is bizarre. And this one says, thank you for patience and understanding. Please contact me, that's your email address, and we can work out something. Interesting. Not sure about all that stuff, but it did comes with some stuff. I would love to tell you what these things are. I have in my hands a collection of 11 collectible cards. The first two basketball players from Michigan State, from the black and white photos. I'm going to say these guys played in maybe like the 60s, the 50s perhaps. The first one is... Can I ask a really quick question about this? I feel like it's the question that's on all of our lips.

Which is, did you ask for any of these things from any way? No, I have never ordered a trading card in my life off the internet. And these were a complete surprise to me. And it's come to you at your address with your name. Yes. But you were a piece of shit enough to split it up into three invoices. Yeah, somehow I managed to garble. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thage. thage. thage. to thage. to tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. that, thate, that, that, tho, tho. th. th. the, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. toea. to. to. toe. to. the. the. the. the. th. th. three invoices. Yeah, somehow I managed to garble that. Well, it looks, from her perspective, I garbled it, which just seems downright unfair. Uh, I have Dawn Dibble, the Michigan State.

Uh-huh. And the Mietam's car. I have one tops card for people from the United States Olympic team. Uh- people from the United States Olympic team. Tyson Gay. Sorry what were you saying? What was that you were just saying, Theo? Can you repeat that? I didn't hear it. Interesting. I have three cards, sorry four cards from the World Poker to a razor poker collectible cards. Okay. Two here with relatively ordinary names that I think might have been chosen based on the

photos but this is an audio medium. Eric Seidel has an insane look on his face, I'll tell you that much. Sammy Farah, perhaps, might have been chosen because of his description. Although he doesn't smoke, Sammy Farah has a superstitious side and can easily be identified by his quote, lucky unlit cigarette hanging from the quarter of his mouth. Yes. Very cool. That's a cool thing to do. Bring a bit of France to... That's right. It's unlit, unlitid. He's not smoking that thing. I will not like it, lest I be shot by the police.

I will salute them as I die. I have Ted Forrest. Nice name. Yeah. He's one. Ted is without question one of the most feared players the game today. The game is baseball? No poker. Poker.

Yeah, notice it's he brought a sword to the team. Right. Last poker player I have is Hoyt Corkins. Hoyt Corkins. Hoyt Corkins. He's from Glenwood, Alabama. Hoyt and the Hawkins. Finally, I have three, three cards that are from the, uh,

uh, eight seconds trading card series, which is professional bull riders. I have Rocky McDonald. Mm-hmm. Wonderful bull rider name. I mean, if you're born Rocky McDonald, you're gonna ride a bull. I also think you were gonna ride a bull if you were born Ryan Dirt eater. Yeah, but a bad, a bad bull you're not gonna be good at it, yeah. Dirt. Eating dirt. Oh, seven point six seconds and he's eating dirt again. Classic Ryan dirt eater.

Sounds like the name they'd give to a, um, to like a wrestling job. You know the name guys, to. the the the like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the the the the the their. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. they bring out to lose. Yeah, and here comes the Dirty-Eater. Yeah, fuck you, Dirty-Eater. Clive Dick sucker. And lastly I have Skeeter Kingsolver. Skeeter Kingsolver. That is way too highbrower name I feel for. Look, maybe it's a very intellectual sport, I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. It's tough. I'll say that much. Now, you could probably, the person who would have sent these to me other than Diane, the person that garbled the order that got Diane to send them to me needs three things basically. They need to know my home address. Yeah.

To listen to this podcast and to have a perverse interest in a very specific specialist training cards. Ben Nichols. Tom Walker, I would say. Oh no, Ben does listen to the podcast. I'm sorry, but I took that back. I don't know know know. to know. to know, to know, to know know, to know know, to know, their, to know, their, to know to know their, to know to know to know their to know, to know, to know, to know, to know, to know, to know, to know, their their their their to know, their their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their tho, thoomom, their thoom, thoom, their thiiiiii. their their their their their their don't think now Ben does listen to the podcast I'm sorry but I take that back yeah I don't know your home address so I've failed two out of those I've been to your house I don't know the address that's an insane thing to say yeah I don't have to look up the address to your house because I just drive there yeah because I've been over a bunch. Just on vibes, yeah. Beautiful friendship. Yeah, Tom said those here.

That was Tom. Thanks, Tom. It's a beautiful. Hey, can I, this is a bit unorthodox, but can I jump in on this segment? Just with a quick, Bunt of Visto obituary. Oh, no.

Viv's going strong. Thank God. 93 this year this year this year this year. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. th th th th th th th th th th th th. thiii. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. to. to. to. tho. thi. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. Yeah. I. I. I. Yeah. Yeah. I. Yeah. Yeah. I. Yeah. Yeah. to. Yeah. Yeah. to. to. th. th. th. th. to. t. to. t. t. t. tom. to. to. to. to. tom. tom. tom. tom. tom. tom. tom. t. th. I going strong. Thank God. 93 this year. Now we've got two obituaries here. First of all is the RIP to the American Major League Baseball outfielder Wayne Kammer. All right, no, that's not. And also sadly we say goodbye to the American football linebacker Dick Butkus. I knew you were going to say Dick Butkus. I've seen so many headlines with Dick Butkus in it this week.

I need you to spell Wayne Cummer for me though. That's Wayne spelled as Wayne's world. And comma spelled C-O-M-E-R. Rips. Yeah. Old Wayne, Sticky Hands, come on the greatest outfielders. Comer, all you faithful. That funeral. It's very Mrs. Comber. Let me check.

Survived by. Supply. Well. De Ann, Comer. Joyce, they've got a, they have three sons, Timothy Wayne Comer, Paul Alan Comer and Sean Christopher Cumber. He's survived by. Probably a very funny. Probably a climber isn't it? But that's not very funny. No. And getting things wrong to make them funnier is sort of part and parcelers of podcasting. Yeah, I only barely need to pretend that I know how things are actually

pronounced. Because, I mean, it's well documented my struggles with syllables, and words. And you know, I'm just, I'm leading with it. I'm leaning in. If you keep doing it, you can just say that you're doing like a bit every time you mispronounced something. Oh, you thought I deliberately mispronounced it and it's actually, you see how stupid right now. Do you think that I'd never heard the word tangential said out loud before? You idiot. Oh, this guy thinks my brain peaked, my brain, my old and it's being a constant downhill slide from then.

My brain's peaking right now. Yeah. It's mostly with cortisol. Hey, if death can come for us all. Hey, if death can come for us all, that's a bad sign. And another segment where we look at bad signs is Oman's importance. It's time for Omen's importance. You shall see hail fall from a clear sky and burn his fire upon the ground. You shall see

darkness cover Egypt when the sun climbs high to noon. And you shall know that God is God, and bow down to his will. This comes to us from the Associated Press. Nearly 1,000 migrating songbirds perish after crashing into windows at Chicago Exhibition Hall. Oh no! That's a bad vibe. That's a super bad vibe.

Evil lay lines are converging underneath Chicago Exhibition Hall. Get out of there. David Willard has been checking the grounds of Chicago's lakefront exhibition center for dead birds for 40 years. What a life. Yeah, I mean, take your kid. Take your kid to work day. Can a different job man? This could be yours. Yeah. Where are they going to find another dead bird guy though?

On Thursday morning he found something horrible as opposed to his normal dead bird route. I don't think that's his only job. Well, I like to think that it is. He takes a lap like once a day to check for dead birds. He's not like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like, like, like, like, all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all, like, like, all, like, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all this, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all this, all, all this, all, all this, all this, all this, all this, all, all this, all, all, all this, all this, all this, all this, all this, all this, all this, all this, all th, all th, all th, all th, all th, all th, all th, all th, all th, all this, all this, all this, all this, all this, all this, all this, this, this, all this, all this, all this, all this, all this, all this, all this this, all this, all this, all this his only job. I like to think that it is. He takes a lap, like once a day to check for dead birds. He's not like all day every day. But that takes him all day. It's like the, it's like painting the Sydney Opera House Bridge. Yeah, by the time you get around the start again, four birds of... Yeah, the Sydney Opera House bridge? Yeah. Yeah. I don't th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th don th th, yeah, that one? Yeah. Ah. I don't even think that that saying refers specifically to the Sydney Harbor Bridge either. I think it was meant to be the Golden Gate Bridge originally. Really? I think so.

Is that big? They probably copied that from us. Yeah. It's, I don't know. It's big enough to get Magneto over to that island prison in X-Men 3 when he lifted the entire bridge. Yeah, that's true. Do you remember that from X-Men 3, the last stand?

No. I do, Ben. I haven't seen it. Thanks, Andrew. Anyway, he found something horrible tempted to lie down for a little mid-morning nap, but I don't think it would feel good when you lay down on it.

It'd be too crunchy. Nearly 1,000 songbirds perished during the night after crashing into the McCormick Place Lakeside Center's windows. The result, according to avian experts, of a deadly confluence of prime migration conditions, rain, and the low-slung exhibition halls lights and window-lined walls. We should stop building stuff that kills all the animals. I don't think they do it on purpose. I think if you're the architect that came up with this, you're like, ah, fuck.

I should have made the bird kill a building. Were the architect that came up with this, you're like, ah, fuck. I should have made the bird killer building. Were the windows too clean? Like, that's what I'm hearing. That's probably what it was. Yeah, I've got to bring my kids out there. Yeah. Give them a couple of donuts and then let them just stand near the windows for a while. Hey, you know what they love. They love they love they love they love they love they love they love they love they love they love they love they love they love they love they love they love they love they love they love they love they love they love they love they love they love they love they love they love they they they they they they they love they they love they they they they they they they they they they they they they they their th. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. their th. th. th. th. th. that. the. the. the. that the that too too too too too too too to too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too they love? They love yoga. And standing up at the window, watch the garbage truck go past. I was standing near the Sony Bravia.

I have a little yogurt, you know? Yeah. If a child's hand ever touched the screen of my TV, I would just lay down and die. My beloved Bravia. I would stop eating. I'd be out. I'd try to clean my TV screen the other day and now in certain angles I can see streaks on it

if the sunlight's reflecting off it and I just makes me want to walk into the ocean. You and me will talk about cleaning a Sony Bravia properly later, Ben, please thank you. What do we use it on that? We use an isopropole. We use water. A little bit of vinegar they say is okay as okay as well. A lightly misted paper towel is tow, tow, tow, tow, towel, towel, towel, towel, towel, towel, towel, towel, towel, towel, t, t, ttau, ttau. ttau. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi, thi, thi, I's, thi, I's, I's, tog. I's, toge. toge, toge, toge, toge, try. toge, try. try. try. try. try. try. as well. A lightly misted paper towel is all you need, my friend. But what if the paper towel is too scratchy and it scratches the surface of my... What if you've got greasy hands? My hands are pretty greasy. Keep them on the outside of the paper. Yes, yeah, you don't want the paper behind your hand in the TV screen. Ideally keep the thing you're using to clean to clean to clean to clean to clean the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thing you're using to clean between the screen and your greasy mitts. Yeah.

Quote, it was just like a carpet of dead birds at the windows there, said Willard, a retired bird division collections manager at the Chicago Field Museum, where his duties included administering, preserving, and cataloging the museum's collection of 500,000 bird specimens. Oh, you're dead bird guy. As well as searching for bird strikes as part of migration research. Now, how is he doing that? I would like to know. He's taking a lap of the building,

because a bird strike is a bird whapping into something. But he's a different guy. He's at a different place. Well, he's taking a laps of different buildings. He was previously at the Chicago the Chicago the Chicago the Chicago the Chicago the Chicago the Chicago the Chicago the Chicago the Chicago the Chicago the Chicago the Chicago the Chicago the Chicago the Chicago the Chicago the Chicago taking a lapse of different buildings. He was previously at the Chicago Field Museum. Entire, director. But is he just like calling up people being like, hey, did you have any bird strikes? No, I think he's like the power meter guys, he's got a key. Oh, sure, yeah.

You see the bird strike guy wandering around, let him do his job. Make sure your dog is restrained. Oh my God. Um, sorry, I'm just, I was just looking up bird strike before to make sure that it was what I thought it meant rather than say, we've spoken about bird's protesting or anything, you know? Yeah, on this podcast for, like we did the round up. Unequal pay and whatever. I just, I just think that this is a funny thing to have up up. Up up up up up up up up up up the the the to the to to the to the to to the to to the to to to the to the to the, to to to to to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their. their. their. their. their. the the the the the the the the the the the the. the the the the. the the the the the the the. the the. to to the to to to to to to to to just think that this is a funny thing to have up the front of this which is 80% of all bird strikes go unreported. The birds are not reported. I didn't realize I was supposed to report them? Well I think most of them is just like a bird banging into a window and then going, oh fuck and they fly off, you know. That's just made me think of the fucking the brass eye. Crimes we know about has gone up dramatically, but crimes we know nothing about has gone up even more.

How do you know how many unreported bird strikes there are? They haven't been reported. I've just put a picture. This is the main picture from bird strikes in Wikipedia that I've just put into the chip in and not just... It's... Oh my God! Now for the listener. This appears to be the, uh, the cockpit of a jet of a fighter jet.

Yeah. And there is like, um, the whole cockpit is cracked. All the glass is, is like, very thoroughly spiderwebbed all over. And, and the, and there, and there, and there, and there, and there, and there, and there, and there, and there, and th. And, it is, it is, and thi, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it's, it's, oh, oh, oh, oh, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, is a the the the the the the the thiii. It is a thi. It is a thi. It is a thi. It's a thi. Oh, oh, is a the the the the the thi. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, the the thi. It's, oh, oh, oh, it's, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,. All the glass is like very thoroughly spider-webbed all over and there's a huge bloodstain on the very top of it. Suggesting that maybe they've pulverized like an albatross or something. A bird that a bird has ceased to exist. Apparently there's a different, there's other categories of this. Bird strike, sometimes called bird-strike, bird ingestion, bird ingestion for an. And, and the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th, and th, and th, and their, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th is, and th is, and th is, and th is is is th is is is, and th is is is th, and th is is th is, and th is a th is a th is a th is a th is a th is, and th is, and th is, and th is, and th is, and th is, and th is, and th is, and th is, and th is, and th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is the is the is the is a the is a theat, theat, theateat, theateat, is a huge is a huge is a huge is a huge is a huge is a theateat, the is a the is a th a different, there's other categories of this, bird strike, sometimes called bird strike, bird ingestion for an engine. Oh yeah, yeah, I hate that.

We have discussed this on the podcast before. We did a, we've done a whole episode on just listing off the reports of bird strikes that happened in a year in Australia and the animal strikes that happened in a year in Australia. We probably won't do them again because it's just a list of dead animals. Did you cover tower kill though? Is that where someone inside the tower is killed by a bird strike? Tower kill is a phenomenon in which birds are killed by collisions with antenna towers? There's also, there's also, um, so there's a there's a kind of power

generated called concentration, concentrated solar, CSP, concentrated solar, power I guess would be, where a bunch of mirrors all pointed a central tower, which is full of salt. Oh, I love that shit. That's cool. I. I know. They're cool, but they're just, they're not financially viable yet, and they probably never will be. We tried a whole bunch of them in like Spain and in Western USA. Sorry, I'm gonna make a little power nerdy here. But, what are the things they do? Power nerd out. There's one, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's actually, there's actually, there's actually, there's actually, there's actually, there's actually, there's actually, there's actually, there's actually, there's actually, there's actually, there's actually, there's actually, there's actually, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th, they're, they're they're, they're they're, they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. T, th. T, thi, thi, there's actually there's actually that, that, that, that, that, that, that, they're cool, they're cool, they're cool, they're cool, they're cool, they're cool, they're they'rethings they do, power no doubt, there's one, there's actually one down in South

Australia as well. But what they also do is cook birds. Yeah. Oh, like just roast them. Like, just grow to them. Like, solar beams. They're just putting a big, magnifying glass. Yeah, kind of like puff up in a big cloud of smoke and...

It's a shame that there are so many animal deaths induced by us either putting shit in the way of where they were always going before or also yeah just having too many lights in the wrong places that make them go up, I'm actually supposed to be over there. I was watching a video the other day of um of people helping baby puffins I think it was baby puffins all around wherever those islands are where they um the Faroe islands yeah where they where they come and do their nesting and everything and apparently it's the when there's when there's no moon out when there's cloud and do their nesting and everything. And apparently it's the, when there's no moon out, when there's cloud cover from the moon,

they get confused because there's lots of lights from a nearby city and they go over there instead of going into the ocean. They're supposed to migrate back out to the ocean, and they meant to see the light on the water from the moon, but when the moon's covered they go, oh we'll go towards this light instead. And they just wander into the town and there was this video of like all these people they just chase the puffins around, the little puffins around and pick them up and then what you are supposed to do with them is you take them down to the beach and over arm hurll the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they. they're they're to to to they're tooes. to to their. they're to to to to to to too. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. they're they're they're they're they're their. they're their. they're their. they they they their. their. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I's. they. Yeah. they. Yeah. Yeah. they're they're they're they're they. they. they're they. they're they're they. I'll try. try. they're try. Yeah. Yeah. I'll just. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'll. I. them like a baseball towards the ocean and they they they just go whoop and start flying and zip off. It sounds so fun. It sounds really

like you would get to it and you'd be doing something nice. Yeah imagine getting like good karma for just hurling a baby bird yeah a baseball. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you. Yeah. This is another, this is another Bundafist or excursion. We should crowd fund. We need to do the worm. I want to hurl a puff and.

Yeah. We want to go out and compete in the worm grunting competition. Worm grunting. Puff and hurling. Yeah. These are things that I remain convinced that we could get some some audience participation in sending us to these things, filming and recording some content. That's just my opinion. It's just my opinion. Okay. Yeah, and we're doing it for the birds. That's so true. And the worms. We'll put the worms back when they come out. I think that'll be a condition of our entry, right? That none of us will eat the thworm. thew worms th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. tho thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th., I think that'll be a condition of our entry, right? That none of us will eat the worms or anything? We're not going to get the two things mixed up. We wouldn't start grunting at the puff and hurling festival and hurling at the worm grunting festival.

I'm like, just to be sure. That'd be horrifying. Hmm. Quote, a normal night for me is a hard zero of dead birds. Yeah, it's a standard zero. Yeah. It was just kind of shocking outlier compared to what we've experienced, Will had said. In 40 years of keeping track of what's happening at McCormick, we've never seen anything remotely

on that scale. Researchers estimate that hundreds of millions of birds die in window strikes in the United States each year. That checks out. That's so many of the fucking birds though. Don't do that. I don't think I've seen that happen in like a decade, at least. No? OK. OK. It was very funny at our last house.. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that. th. th. th. th. Research. Research. Research. Research. Research. Research. Research. Research. Research. Research. Research. Research. Research. that. Research. that. that. that's that's thi. Research. Research. Research. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that. Research. Research. Research. Research. Research. Research. Research. Research. Research. Research. that. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. Reea. thi-a. Rea. thia. Researchers. thia. Researchers. thia. Researchers. thia. Researchers thia. Researchers that's thia. Researchers. Rea. think I've seen that happen in like a decade at least. No? Yeah. Okay. It was very funny at our last house when I was sitting in the living room.

I was sitting in the living room one day and had the shit scared out of me when like a full-sized sulfur-crested cockatoo just slammed into the front window in the the room that I was sitting in. And it's only funny because it just flew off and was fine, you know. But the actual funny part was that there was a very clear, like very clear visible outline of where the bird had hit, like, because they're so greasy. You could see, like, the same shape of the bird's face, its body and profile, a wing. It was very cool, only because it didn't die.

If it died, I would have been like, oh. If you're making like a low budget, like screened Victoria or whatever funded Australian horror movie that's a metaphor for grief really and like there was a part where the protagonist thought she heard something in another room and it gets really tense and then bam! Sulfurcrest Cockatoo just slams into the window behind her. That would be perfect. That'd get you a- And it'd be about grief. It'd be about grief. Yeah. The movies called the Cock behind her. That'd be perfect. That'd get you a- And it'd be about grief. It'd be about grief. Yeah. The movies called The Cockatoo is about grief. That's right, it's like an evil, cursed cockatoo. But she learns to live with the cockatoo, she learns to feed it grubs. I hate those birds. Their beaks are so scary. They've got a negative energy. Yeah. They know too much. Yeah. They got that forbidden knowledge.

Well, that's why they're screaming then. Yeah. Ah! Ah! I've seen it all. I've seen behind the veil. Cockatoos can fuck off though. There always. Low key for real. Cockatoos can fuck off. Lokey for real. We're at our new house and I was thinking, oh, I haven't seen a lot of cockatoos around the yard since we've been here, which is fine because they will fuck your place up. And I saw a couple around the other day and then I went out onto the back deck and one of the, one of the wooden posts supporting the back deck just had this big, clean chunk of wood taken all the way out of it. That's their stem, Andrew, they're just. They're steaming.

They're steaming by tearing big, fucking chunks. Self-acrested cockatoos are neurod divergent. They fucking love, they've got an oral fixation. They love tochunks out of stuff, don't, they, th. They, th. They, th. They, th. They, th. They, th. They, th. They, th. That, th. That, th. That, th. That, th. That, th. That, th. That, the, the, the, the, the, the, thi, the, the, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th, th, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, thi. Te, the, thea. Teauu.auiauiauiauiiauiiiiiauiiiauiiiiauiauiauiauiauia, tue, tue, tue, t've got an oral fixation, they love chew it on shit. For no to chunks out of stuff, don't they? They absolutely will destroy your shit if you encourage too many of them to hang out around your place. Yeah. And that's why I say, go on, get! Yeah.

Get out of here. Scientists with the Smithsonian Conservation Biology Institute and the US Fish and Wildlife Service released a study in 2014 that put the number between 365 million and 988 million birds annually. You couldn't just round that up. You're at 988 million. It's a clean billion. I see you've gone from 3 significant digits to one is what you expect them to do.

Just make it cleaner. A billion dead birds. Yeah. Every year. What if they can't promise a billion dead birds? It's just like max 988. 988. It's really, there are enough birds.

I want a billion dead birds by 2024. Everybody leave your lights on at night. Keep your curtains. Towards a billion dead birds by 2024. Everybody leave your lights on at night, keep your curtains. Towards a billion dead birds, 2024. That's so fucked up. A billion is such a big number of birds, just slamming into glass windows. I feel like you need, you know those YouTube videos that are like explaining the scale of the solar system or like the depths of the ocean or whatever. Yeah. And one of those for just like this is what ten dead birds looks looks the the the the the the curtains, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the, the th, the th, thi, thi, th, thi, the, the, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, tow, tow, tow, tow, tow, tow, towards, towards, towards, towards, towards, tow, tow, tow, tow, tow, tow, tow, tow, tow, towards, towards, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, their, towards, their, their towards, their towards, towards, their towards, towards, towards, towards, towards, towards, towards explaining the scale of the solar system or like the depths of the ocean or whatever. Yeah. And one of those for just like this is what 10 dead birds looks like. This is what a ball of 1 billion dead birds looks like if you put it in Manhattan.

Yeah, that's right. If you put it next to the giant cube that's made of all the people on the planet and put it in Central Park. that's about about their th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, is what is what is what is what is what is what is what is what is thin, is what is what is thin, thin, thin, thin, theeean, thean, thean, thean, thean, thin, th same size actually. They wouldn't, birds are smaller and a billion is a smaller number than 7 billion. Oh, that's so true actually. Although some birds are very big, pelicans. Pelicans are big, yeah. Still smaller than a man.

The one that messes with me is the number of ants, which is due to, according to this recent census. I'm not sure how that works. Oh, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's, I, that's that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, I. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I. I. I, I. I. I. I, I, I. I, I, I, I. I, I. I, tr, tr, tr, tr, tr, tr, tr, tr, tr, tr, tr tr tr true. I's true. I's true. I's true. I's true. I's true. I'm true, that's that's that's that's that's that's true, I'm that's that's true, I'm that's true. I's true according to this recent census I'm not sure how that works. Oh knock it on the tiniest door in the world. How many people you got back there? It's a matter if they're not in my family no anyone that's there. Family non-family. Is it six times the biomass of people of in ants? It is it is it is estimated that there are 20 quadrillion ants worldwide. Which is 2.5 million ants for every living human. That sounds exactly like the thinking of an ant to me. That's not, I, that's not a number is it?

20 quadrillion. I know all of the numbers. They tell you every kind of number there is in like second year. They do. According to the New York Times, that's a 20 with 15 zeros following it. Oh, okay, so I was wrong. There is. So that, there's 20, how many? How many?

That's? their tent. million to one human per person and those are my ants. Oh wow. Yeah go to your local fish and game office and collect your ants. So that there is a around 12 megatons of ants. Which is about the equivalent to two pyramids of geyser. But that's a fifth as much biomass as people biomass. So we're winning. Oh, so 25 million ants weigh less. 2.5 million ants weighs less than a person. Ways 20% of a person? Now those numbers are similar so we can probably do some simplification there.

Hmm. Yep. This has been ant facts. Sorry I'm browsing the internet. Yeah. Okay. Don't close that breast tab right now. All I'm saying is we've got plenty of ants to lose in ant strikes. You know? Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. If we have to give up one species, let the ants hit the windows. There. Yeah. That's generally the, that's how ants are the that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the that's the the their. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. that's that's the the that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. that's. Yeah. that's. Yeah. that's that's the the the the hit the windows. There's a carpet of ants when I went out there today. Yeah, that's generally the, that's how ants are often. Carpet-like, they love being all piled up. Yeah, they do. Stacked up. They love it.

Big cuddle puddles going on in the old ant hill. Hey, honey, check out as an ant cuddle puddle in here. One, one tween. Are they the biggest poly ecosystems, Lizzie? I guess so. What about bees? Do you think bees are polygons? I guess. I guess. I guess so. But they bloody love polygons. They're simps. Am I right? You are right.

You are right. You are right. Hey, guys. Do you think that makes Ben the Buntavista comedian of the week? I don't think it does. Not quite. Not bad enough. Run for him, right, man. We could get worse. Do you reckon bees or ants glomp more?

I actually don't know what that one means, thank God. I feel it's peaceful. That's the, you know, in s internet people would say that a lot. Yeah. You do, you glomp someone by doing like a, I don't want to talk about. Oh, like we do like like raw, raw dinosaur stuff. Yes, you roar, I has a spork. Yeah, I have a spork. Yeah, to booby hugs. Paws. It must be very random, Caesar penguin. Yeah, I'll say this. Yeah, I'll say this. It this. It this. It this. It this. It this. It's this. It's this. It's this. It's this. It's this. It's this. this. this booby hugs. Yeah, to booby hugs, applause. It must be very random. Caesar Penguin. Yeah, I'll say this.

It must be very nice to not know whether you can or can not has a cheeseburger. Yeah, that website's still going by the way. Foggle. Ken has cheeseburger. I want to know what their most recent post is. Ikenhas.chaser has dot cheeseburger dot com Cat a day morning me madness start this perfect day with the funniest cat memes of the week Oh, then can I just stop to ask how do they spell perfect? It's the way you expect to us and a you beautiful oh my god they're still posting image macros

Are they new ones or old ones? They don't have a date on this post? what kind of post? they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're to to to to to to to to to to to th. to to tho to to to to to to to th. tho. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th th. I th th the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to today tod? They don't have a date on this post! What kind of post? Describe the first post. I would love to describe this post. So there's, oh there's a drop shadow on the text, so it's sort of like an advanced image macro. There's a cat wearing an Xbox headset and the top line reads, Thanks for calling 911. How can I help you? Just one letter you. Bottom text is generic kibble, help is on tea way. Wow. Got it. How do I find out when this was posted? If this was like a recent creation, I'm

fucking thrilled. Isn't it like finding out that there's people still at war, like, believe the war's still going, like, like, yeah. Ninete and 47? Yes. They're on that island over there, they're just posted like, we haven't been through two webs since then. Hey, can I read an annoying tweet that I saw yesterday that confused the fuck out of me? Go on.

Sometimes you come across a group of millennials who are still living fully in the Master of Nunn slash Warby Parker era with their natural wines. These people must be treated gently like Japanese soldiers who didn't know World War II was over. What? You know when you guys were in your Warby Parker master of nun era? I don't know who will be watch but I did watch master of non. watch Master of Narn. I think I get the thing they're talking about. I guess over here they'd be talking about Oscar Wiley. They're talking about those like cheap classes. The area cultural touch point.

It's a strange one to point out. Yeah. I don't, I just didn't have a master of non-narrah, I don't, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, th, I, I, I, I don't, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th.. They, th. T, tha, thi, they, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're thi, from a season sorry. Yeah, and that area had a lot of money from it. Kind of over because of his actions. Yeah. Yeah. And also, there's nothing wrong with buying glasses that I think look nice. It don't come from my place. It's a lovely pet nat last night.

Am I a Japanese soldier left over from World War II? Yes. Because I had a wonderful Lada Petanat that. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, I thiat, I thiat, I thi, I thi, I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I that, I that, I that, I that, I th. I th. I th. I th. Yeah, I th. Yeah, I th. Yeah, I th. Yeah, I th. Yeah, I th. Yeah, I th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi. I don't thi. I don't thin. I don't thin. I don't thin. I don't thin. I don't thin. Yeah, I don't thin. Yeah, I thi. Yeah, I thi. Yeah, I thi. Yeah, I th wonderful Lata petnat. I don't know what the words are that you're saying. Petite naturals means little titties. Windows strikes are an issue in almost every major US city. Cities where it's not a problem, sound off. Yeah, what's your secret? That's so good. It's probably, it's probably all the cities where like the pollution is so bad,

they don't have birds anymore. Yeah, it's just like, they get turned away like the boundary at Area X. Oh, so further to Lucy's point here, birds don't see clear or reflective glass, and don't understand that it's a lethal barrier, skill issue. Okay, I feel like the second half of that sentence is redundant. Like if they don't see it, they wouldn't understand anything about it. Yeah. I don't think a bird has a concept of a window. Yeah. Oh, that's sad.

When they see plants or bushes through windows reflected on them, they head for them, killing themselves in the process. That's a part one. Do you think birds have a concept of 100th window, the massive attack? BOP. We have a massive attack. Birds that migrate at night, like sparrows and warblers, rely on the stars to navigate. Bright lights from buildings both attract and confuse them, leading to window strikes or birds flying around the lights until they die from exhaustion.

A phenomenon known as fatal light attraction. Sometimes we're all drawn to the wrong light. Am I right? Yes. Yes. Yes. Not me but I get what you mean. Yeah, not me but I get what you mean. In 2017, for example, almost 400 passerines became disoriented in Galveston Texas skyscrapers floodlights and died in collisions with windows. Knock all the buildings down. I love that human civilization at this point is like a, just a series of our wells. Like, well, that's the price of doing business. Yeah.

I like how you can picture this is definitely like those fucked up modern office buildings. And it's like they've got a window cleaner in every day. Oh, they hit the dildo? For like stylized whatever. Stop cleaning your windows. They don't need to be that clean. No, let them get a little grubby. No one's looking out. No, the tubi's on their screens. They're on their screens. No one's looking

at their dea phones. No one's looking at their beautiful Galveston Texas skyline because they're watching skibbiddy toilet. Skibbiddy toilet. Skibity toilet. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. On. Yeah. On. On the. On the. Yeah. On the. Yeah. On the. Yeah. On the. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, on. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.their screens. It's fucking, ugh! More I think about it. Our neighbor just told Caitlin about skibbitty toilet. I don't know what that is. Is this Scooby-Doo toilet episode? I know, honey. It's... Is it for children? Uh, yeah. Hey Ben, can I just take issue with this reporting ever so slightly?

Yeah, I'll allow it? Well, I was just looking at what our passerines, almost 400 passerines became disoriented. That is any bird of the order, passeriformis-formers, we all know that, which includes more than half of all bird species. Oh wow. That's fucked up. They shouldn't be, they got to. They should be hog in it.

With more than 140 families and some 6,500 identified species, Passeriformes is the largest order of birds and among the most diverse clades of terrestrial vertebrates representing 60% of birds. You either gonna have to narrow it down or you just say birds. 400 birds. That's fine, you don't have to fancy it up. You know? Conditions were ripe for a massive wave of songbirds, Southern migration over Chicago on Wednesday evening, said Stan Temple, a retired University of Wisconsin-Madison wildlife ecology professor and avian expert.

Small songbirds feed during the day and migrate at night to avoid air turbulence and predators. They've been waiting for northerly winds to give them a boost south, Temple said, but September saw unusually warm southern winds that kept birds in a holding pattern here. On Wednesday evening a front swept south providing a tailwind and thousands of birds took to the skies. Nature's Majesty ready to be foiled by a bunch of pricks. That's us humans. Yeah. Quote, you had all these birds that were just raring to go but they've been held up with this weird September in October with temperatures way above normal. Again, probably nothing to do with us. Don't look into it. No, I think so. Don't think about it. You had this huge pack of birds take off. And quote, the birds swept south over Chicago following the lake Michigan shoreline

and right into a maze of illuminated structures," Temple said. Pre-dawn rain forced the birds to drop the lower altitudes where they found McCormick's place's lights still on, Willard said. According to the field museums count, 964 birds died at the center. That's about 700 more than have been found at the center at any point in the last 40 years, Willett said. Members of 33 species died. Most of them were palm and yellow-rumped warblers. Fucking bullshit. Not even shitbirds, you know? Yeah. If they were just like 400 pigeons died, a thousand pigeons died, we'd all be like, wow, pigeon slander. That's true though.

No one would you want to land on you, Lucy, would you like one to walk over your stuff? Gross. Rats of the sky. They are the rats of the sky. Perhaps a starling in my experience? Like, they're just always on there. Pigeon's just always on their thing. They're just flying ever. They're only flying if like someone on a bike street quickly. Not even using their wings. Pigeons is a flight and they're wasting it. Pigeons.

Lazy. Rats of the ground. Compared to beautiful little yellow rumped wobblers, nice little songbirds. God's perfect angels. We're killing them all. I think this is some satanic activity. Sorry, I don't believe that is caused by climate change. It's not anthropogenic climate change. Something happened in that building. Something occurred there. A happening took place. A visitation, maybe.

Yes. Yes. I agree. I don't think just because we've completely fucked up all of the natural rhythms of the natural world that they would use to follow their normal processes, that that would cause a bunch of birds to die. I think it's because someone lit a bunch of black candles. Hmm. It doesn't mean that a portal wasn't opened within the boughs of the building that called forth beautiful songbirds to their death.

I hope it was Hellboy that came through. Because at first you're like, oh, something came through, you're like, oh, don't worry, it's just Hellboy. You mean you hope we at least got something good out of the trade? Yeah, Hellboy. I specifically hope that we got Hell. Hey, check this out, everyone. Windows strikes and fatal light attraction are easily preventable, said Anna Pigeon, an avian ecologist at the University of Wisconsin Madison. Yes. Did A pigeon say this? Oh, we've got a quote from me here. Did A.d. pigeon say this? Oh, we've got a quote from me here. Did A.D. Pigeon say this? My God. I am the Bunt of this? I. this. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. this. this. this. this. A. quote from me here. Did A dot pigeon say this? My God.

I am the Buntavista comedian of the week for piggybacking off Theo's joke. Oh my god, I'm just, uh-huh. It's just like I'm just... I don't know. I have such a town. Theo, can I just ask? Did you quantize those or are they in the grid? O'Natural? Oh, Natural. Beautiful. We talked about this on the, remember I held up my launch key mini. Well, no, I know that you, you did play it, but I didn't know whether you'd maybe smacked a little quantization on there afterwards. They're fresh. It's like, um, it's sort of like, I was inspired by burial.

I don't know if you know, but he, he never quantizes or puts his drums on a, on a grid. He's hitting him on the, he's triggering himself. And I sort of felt, you know what, this is, this is sort of my homage. You wanted that purity. My homage to burial. That's beautiful. It's like when you have a master potter who can throw a perfect bowl or plate every time, but then just puts a little thumb print in there, just a little mark, thii, thi, thi, thi, thum, thi, thum, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, th, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, and thi, thi, and thi, and thi, thi, thi, and thi, thi, and thi, thi, and thi.. thi. thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. And, thiii. And, thi. And, thi, thi, thi, thi. And little thumbprint in there, just a little mark of the human. That's right. Because we are people, we're not machines. And I just want to say if you are one of our listeners who really encourages us to play the entire comedian of the week's Stinger, every time, despite how really openly antagonistic

it is towards our listeners, audience hostile. And to the hosts as well. We hope that you repay that kindness by going to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thiiiii. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.. And to the hosts as well. We hope that you repay that kindness by going to Patreon.com slash Punta Vista and signing up for extra episodes of the show. So we can buy Theo at even bigger MIDI keyboard. God I go crazy with power. According to a pigeon, building managers can simply dim the lights, she cooed. And architects... It's super fucked up that we put lights on skyscrapers for forever. So Cessna's don't hit them at night time.

Yeah, I don't respect Cessna's though. Get a real plane. They shouldn't be flying over, over cities so low anyway. You know, you should be mining their own business. New York City has taken to shutting off the the the the the the the the the the their twin their twin their train their train trie. New York City has taken to shutting off the twin beams of light, symbolizing the World Trade Center for periods of time during its annual September 11 memorial ceremony to prevent birds from becoming trapped in the light shafts. You know what I want to do a September 11 to the birds. Yeah, ironing.

Traping them in shafts that's um oh boy you are the the National Audubon Society launched a program in 1999 called Lights Out an effort to encourage urban centers to turn off or dim lights during migration months nearly 50 US and Canadian cities have joined movement, including Toronto, New York, Boston, San Diego, Dallas and Miami. Does New York get dark at night time now, does it? Didn't notice that happening. Chicago also participates in the lights out program. The City Council in 2020 pass an ordinance requiring bird's safety measures in new buildings but as yet to implement the requirements. I'll get around to it. Yeah, no rush. It's only been two years. The first buildings at McCormick Place were constructed in 1959.

McCaffety, oh I skipped it too far. Cynthia McCaffety, a spokesperson for McCormick Place said the exhibition hall participates and lights out and and interior lighting is turned off, unless staff, clients, or visitors needed. She added that the center maintains a six-acre bird sanctuary. We're helping some of them. Yeah, that sounds like some with a guilty conscience. Yeah, sure does. McAfee said an event has been on all week at the center, so the lights have been on while the building was occupied, but turned off when it wasn't. She said she wasn't sure what time the window strikes occurred or whether the center

was occupied then. It's an odd building, Will had said of the exhibition center, looking very guilty. When it was built, people were thinking about bird safety. They still aren't in most architecture. It's right on the lakefront. There are many nights when it's lit up. People are describing the whole night of migration as part of a once in a lifetime thing, but this is still an unacceptable intrusion by humans in their architecture. Just terribly sad and dramatic."

End quote. Hey, I don't want to, uh, lathe of heaven anything here, but what about what if we sold bird strike offsets? Yes Right you get you you can get your beautiful architecture on the lake and feel good about it with our bird strike offsets. Yeah, okay. Yeah, on your tickets you have to tick you pay like a dollar dollar extra no problem Would you like to be bird strike neutral? Yeah, you visit? Oh, you're a bird strike neutral? Yeah, you visit? Oh, you're bird strike neutral? Yeah. So the extra 10% you've paid, we've hatched a couple of birds. Yep, they are noisy miners, but it's still a bird. I'm putting noisy miners on blast. They've been swooping my boy. He looks so hard and confused and he doesn't understand why they're doing it to them or what they're

trying to do. And he doesn't attack them. He doesn't do anything. He just goes, why? They're rude little dickheads. They are cunts. Noisy minors, if you're listening to this. I'm coming for you.

Are you tired of paying nothing for the to to to to to to to to to to to to to their to to the to the to to to to the to to their their to to their their their toing toing toing toing toing toing toing to to to toing tooing tooing tooing tooing toing toing toing toing toing toing to an an to an to an to anything anything anything. to anything to anything to an to an to an to an to an to an an to an to an to an to an to an to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the their their their avista podcast? Do you want less politics and more content about diarrhea? Are animals gone wild? You're tired of skipping through those hours upon hours of paid product placement for Mark Wahlberg's film shooter? Well boy do I have the offer of a lifetime for you? That's right, for just five US dollars a month. You too can be a premium VIP member of the Buntavista Patreon. That's right, just five US dollars for all of our bonus episodes. That's over 300 hours of content from the hosts you know and definitely tolerate. I'll even throw in access to our glamorous and exclusive Discord server, where bizarre arguments only happen once or twice a week at most. Head to Patreon.

to Patreon. Sign up in the next five minutes and I won't know because that's not my job. But you'll be enjoying the sweet satisfaction of supporting us, and we will love you romantically for it. That's my promise to you. Uh, sometimes a thousand birds hit your building overnight, and you have to sweep them all up. But sometimes they don't. And then you do a lap of the building,

And the building the building the building to report to report to report to report to report to report report report report of the building, and there's simply nothing to report. It's time for the nothing to report report report report report. It's the nothing to report report, report, report, report, report, report. The nothing to report, report, report, report, report, the nothing to report, report, report. What happened? Nothing? Nothing. Shh. So you should mind your fucking business. It. It. It. It. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's nothing. It's nothing. It's nothing. It's nothing. It's nothing. It's nothing. It's nothing. It's nothing. It's nothing. It's nothing. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It. It. It. It. It's. It. It. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's nothing. the nothing. the nothing. the nothing. the nothing. the nothing. the nothing. the nothing. the nothing. the nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing the nothing. Nothing the nothing. Nothing the nothing to. Nothing to. Nothing to. Nothing to. What. Nothing to report, report, report, report, report, report, report, nothing to report, report, nothing to report, report, report, report, nothing to report, report, report, nothing to report, report, report, nothing to report, report, report.

This comes to us from KTVB, Theo. Give it a so little to work with there. Textured vegetable broteen. Yeah. Yeah, textured vegetable protein. That's correct. Yeah. From Boise, Idaho.

Cookin' nothing. I just don't. Just a headline for us. A duck walks into a bar. but did she pay her bill? Probably not. How could a duck pay better have a bank account? They can't order. KTV, Idaho, you are the first of a comedian of the week.

Suds tavern gets a lot of college students coming in for a bite of food and a drink. One bite of food, one drink. College diet. They're college kids and they have one Corona and they're out on the floor. Yeah. One bite of pizza. Put the rest straight in the bin. But this may be the first time a duck has been a patron.

That's such a specific set up. A lot of college students come in to eat and drink, but also a duck walked in. Maybe she is a Bronco fan. Question mark. That's the... I believe that's the Boise State Broncos. The Bronx, who competes at Albertson's Stadium.

Yeah, I got Broncos. Maybe the duck is. I don't know, you should have asked. According to Suds Tavern owner, Scott Bernie, she just wandered in. Can they do that? How else was she going to get inside? Birds wander into businesses all the time. I feel crazy they're always in there. Quote, I turned around and she was just in there.

Also a duck is not a newsworthy bird to be wandering into a business like a pelican, ostrich. Ostrich. Ostrich walks into a business like a pelican, ostrich. Holy fuck, ostrich walks into your business? You call up the Associated Press. You like, you get the big dogs, New York Times, the gray lady. That's right, duck, you just go, huh, there's a duck in here. Yeah. Shoot.

We were serving breakfast, so then a couple people started giving her toast, and she hung out for about 10 minutes, and then walked out the front door and left. And quote. Shouldn't give her bread, shouldn't have given her bread, you piece of shit? She'll be right back. You're allowed to give them eggs? Maybe? Well, if they're not. Is that too close? I think their eggs. little. They're fucked up thing to be demons. Goblins, yeah. They'll eat whatever you got. A pigeon got into their coop recently, but like it flattened itself out and slid through like this very...

They're so dedicated to getting stuck in places. Yeah, there was this like tiny, tiny gap at the bottom of the coop where the cage, there's like a, there's like a sort of flat ring of cage around the bottom of it that's flat to the ground. I love that we've spent the last 45 minutes being like, our society should be more, more bird-tolerant. More bird-tolerant. Kill them. Kill them, kill the the the the the them all!! them all! the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their, kill their, kill their, kill the cout, the cout, the cout, the coop. the coopatuance. the coop. the coop. the coop. the coop. the coop. the coop. the coop. the coop. the coop. the cc, the c. the c. the c. the c. the c. the c. the c. the c. the c. the c. the c. the c. the cout, our the cout, our the cout, our the the the the the cout, the cout, the cout, th. th. thoooome, tape. tape. tape.cooooome. tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, the coupe, the cc bird tolerant. It's a fucking pigeon. Kill him, kill them all. Got into the structure I built to hold my other birds,

which I also hold. My imprisoned birds, yeah. Anyway, flattened itself out, slid through there, and then immediately was like, oh no, I'm in the cage now. Flying around the crazy. The dog that caught the car, hey? But I do th, kill the th, kill th, kill the th, kill the th, kill th, kill th, kill the th, kill th, kill the th, kill th, kill th, kill the th, kill them, kill them, kill them, kill them, kill them, kill them, kill them, kill them, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill them, kill them, kill them, kill them, kill them, kill them, kill them, kill them, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill the the the the the the the the the the thii' the thi' thi' thi' thi in the cage now, flying around crazy. The dog that caught the car, huh? But I do get surprised that the trucks don't just kill a smaller bird that gets in there and go, yum, yum, yum, yum.

I've seen them do a number on some other animals. We had, for like six months, a quail that would visit our chickens every morning and just go out there and hang out with them and like eat their feed that sort of stuff and they were chill they were chill with the quail and eventually it disappeared obviously eaten by a house cat or something so RIP Quimby or whatever your name was. Spiritally similar, I guess. Yeah. Quote, I think the duck might have just wanted a beer, end quote. Yeah.

Bloody comedians everywhere in this story. Good gear, mate. Give the duck a beer, then. I don't know what to tell you. Yeah, it's not funny to just say that. What would be funny is to give the duck a beer. Yeah, it's not even original because like, you know, I think it's been done a bunch of times. Features in season 2 of the wire. Does it? Yeah. Giving a darker beer? Yeah, the Jeff Buckley looking mother fucker. Then I think, that seems like the the the the the the the to the to to the to to the to the to to the the the to the the the tooer. the the the the the the the the the the the the the that's that's that's that's that's the duck-intermuckley. that's that's that's that's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the duckluckler. Yeah, the duckluckley. Yeah, the duckluckley. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. that's. that's. that's. theck. tuck. tuck. tuck. tuck. tuck.c.c. tuck.c.uck. tuck. tuck. tuck. tuck. tuck. tuck. tuck. that's. that's. a... and then I think the duck drinks a bunch of beer, dies, I think, maybe.

That seems like true to life. The wire was very realistic. Yeah, that's right. Is this art imitating life? Yes. Or is this life imitating art? Oh, wow. Yeah.

If you know... Now, the story continues. I want to be clear You know. Now, the story continues. I want to be clear that this is no longer what Suds Tavern owner Scott Bernie is saying. This is now what the writer from KTVB and Boise Idaho is saying. Maybe she wanted a grey goose or a wild turkey. Now let me get this straight. Because this duck is a bird. The duck probably wanted to drink

gray goose vodka or wild turkey bourbon? Is that a bourbon? Yes. Yeah? Because they're bird names and birds would choose the drink of a drink that has the name of a bird. What about the grass one? Isn't there alcohol called grouse? Yeah, probably. I bet there's a really shitty coals or woolless-owned beer called grouse. Yeah. I bet. Dollars to donuts.

I don't think that a bird has to drink something that's also a bird in the name. I don't just say that's also a bird in the name. I don't just say that. Lucy are you talking about the famous grouse blended scotch whiskey? There you go. That's what I think he wanted. That's another another one they could have drunk. Although I don't know if a duck is a grouse. No, it's certainly not a turkey and it's not a goose either. So there's fucking stupid things to say. Goose is probably the closest the closest the closest the closest the closest the closest closest the closest the closest closest the closest the closest the closest the closest closest the closest thus closest th of th of th of th of th of thus is probably thus is probably thus is probably th of th of thus. th of thus is thus is thus. thus. thus. that's that's thus. that's thi. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's that's that's that's that's that's thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. their their their their thoooooooooooooooooooooo. that's that's thi. that's those fucking stupid things to say. Goose is probably the closest one I feel. If we had to pick of what of those birds is closest to a duck,

I would say the goose is the closest. Well, there's also Eagle Rare, Kentucky Straight Bourbon Whiskey. Oh, we've had that far before. That's good. Fighting cock. cock bourbon whiskey. What are you looking at? Did you look up a list of bird-related liquors? I have googled alcohol bird name. We've got Old Crow, Kentucky Straight Bourbon whiskey. A lot of Kentucky stuff in here. Well this I have also found an article from

vinepare.com from wild turkey to redbreast, why so many liquors are named after birds. And really this is just more damning of the KTVB writer who couldn't come up with more than just a simple great news. Yeah, you're a idiot. I mean, I think pathetic. Yeah, asking your audience to know what Eagle Rare is is is probably like. Well, they could have said, maybe she wanted a chicken cock. That's...

Maybe the duck came in there trolling for cock. Yeah, chicken cock. Now that's comedy. Chicken cock. What if the duck was cruising for chicken cock? Yes. Then we can all have a good clean laugh. Yeah.

Kentucky owl. the thou Kentucky Owl Bourbon, Fighting Cock. It's just, there's a lot, you know? Thanks, Andrew. I think we can definitely add a couple more bonus minutes to this episode of naming, bird-named alcohols. Well, according to this article, too bad for this feathered female, she wasn't 21. Better duck next time. Better duck next time.

Better duck next time? Why? Someone try to shoot her? For real, though, you'd better duck. Yeah, duck next time. Because I'm coming for you, bitch. Stay out of my bar. That was certainly a full episode of the podcast. Bunt of Vista. We'll see you next week

unless you subscribe to the podcast. And then we'll see you again. We'll see you soon. And if you don't, but you'd like to, consider subscribing. You get twice as much podcast. Isn't that fun? Yeah. It is fun. Bye. Bye. you know the tp.