Boonta Vista - EPISODE 35: Joyce Division

Episode Date: February 19, 2018

Another week, another litany of scandalous revelations about Deputy Prime Minister Barnaby Joyce. The whole crew is on deck to dissect the long-term graft on display at the highest levels of Australian politics. Support the show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista Don't forget to rate & subscribe on iTunes if that's your thing. _____________________________ Twitter: twitter.com/boontavista iTunes: tinyurl.com/y8d5aenm Stitcher: www.stitcher.com/s?fid=144888&refid=stpr Pocket Casts: pca.st/SPZB RSS: tinyurl.com/kq84ddb

Welcome to Pointe Vista Socialist Club, episode 35. I am Andrew, and I am here with Theo. Hey. How you doing, Theo? Good. Oh, great. Now I'm top billing again. That's right. I like to just cycle everybody in and out, make them feel good. Next up we have. Wait for it, folks. It's Lucy. It's Lucy. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's that's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's. that's. that's. that. that's that's that's that's. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the the the the the the the the the the the. the. the. the. the. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. the. the. the. the in and out, make them feel good. Next up we have, wait for it folks. It's Lucy. Ah, that's me. Everyone's so sick of this, but I'm still enjoying it.

That's right. That's right. And apparently bringing up the rear today, unfortunately is Ben. Is that a homophobic slur? Oh, oh no. Well, he did say unfortunately, which is thiae thiae thiae thiae thiae thiae's thiae's thiae's not, th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to-. to-. to-a. to. to. to. that's, that's, that's, th. th. th. th. th.? Is that a homophobic slur? Oh no. Well, he did say unfortunately, which is not not great, not a good look Andrew, but you know. Well, for the record, if anything, it'd be bifobic, surely. True. Not a good look either way. Yeah. Fairy attacked right now, at all fronts. And I would like to say.

Yeah. What would you like to say... The front and the back, yeah. What would you like to say? No, I've just, you've done it again. That's another homophobic attack. That's two. That's two in as many minutes. Less even. Unbelievable. Also, hello. Hi. It's welcome to be on the podcast. It's great for me to be here. Uh, good. I'm glad you're happy. And that's as far as we're going to to to investigate to investigate to investigate to investigate to to investigate to to to to investigate to to to to to th going th going th going th going th going that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's to be to be that's that's that's that's that's to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the the the thi. that's the. that's that's that's that's that. that. that's that. that's that's that's we're going to investigate that. I'm going to take that statement on face value, despite your demeanor and attitude. And I will just assume that you are happy. Can we get a can check folks? Oh, what? Yeah. Get in the can check? What are people sipping on? Um, buddy, I'm slurping on an Asahi Sukai. Uh, is that like the mid-strength one or the low-carb mid-strength? Uh-oh. Okay. Cubs, it's, it's 6.30, or 649. It's still... You can't have carbs after dark. It's still a little away from my bedtime.

I don't want to get too sleepy. What do you drink a low-carb beer for you? You've got to be like 50 kilos soaking wet. No, no, I know. I know. I know. I've got the It's my dessert beer. That's right.

Just to polish it off. But for now, I've got a couple of hours left to be awake. And yeah, I don't want to get too sleepy. Well, he's doing that for you, listeners. He's doing that for you. He's staying alert. The weight of the owes is strictly theoretical. He has thi thi thi thi thi, thi is literally is literally, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, to to to to to to to to too, to to to to to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi, thi. tho, thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooes, toooooo. I too. He's not allowed to go near bodies of water because there is a fear he will be swept away. What about you Ben? Well, I made a horrible mistake when I sat down in that I didn't have a beer in my head and now I've got a laptop and a series of cables on me.

I'm about two meters away from the fridge and I was sort of sort of gonna wait for an opportune moment to mute my microphone, try and get my way over there while still listening. But obviously that time is not now. Oh look, I think we can make space for it. I'm gonna ask, yeah, I'm gonna ask Lucy what she's sipping on. Then I will describe what I am sipping on, and I think in that time, you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that to be to be that's that's to be to be to be to be to to have that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's is that's is that's is that's is that's is that's is that's is that's is that's is that's is that's is that's that's that's that's that's that's that's thatpping on and I think in that time you can be back with a beverage that you can describe to me the manner in which you are sipping. All right, well I'm going to make a run for it now, but I'm also not going to mute my microphone.

Okay, let's just go. It's kind of like a theater of the air. Yeah, there might be a seriespping on? I'm sipping on a wine. It is a red. One of the two kinds of wine, yes. One of the two kinds. It costs $20. It cost $20. So I probably should have looked at what it was. It's from Adelaide. Swanky wine. It's a good wine region, Adelaide, so it's a fancy one. My goodness. Folks, that is what your subscription dollars are going towards it, funding Lucy's incredibly lavish lifestyle of $20 bottles of wine. Sometimes they're from New Zealand, sometimes they're from Adelaide.

I just, I'm a woman that knows wine. Woman of the World, woman of culture. I am sipping on a tin of mountain goat summer ale because... Well, on account of my in-laws came to visit and my father-in-law loves this shit and he left like half a slab of it here so I will drink it. It's acceptable to me. Hey Ben, what are you sipping on? Andrew I'm so glad you asked. I'm sipping on a delicious 4x gold. It's the taste of summer. The beer of kings, huh? I don't know if they say that. Truly. I had my very first four X recently. So did I? Yeah. How? I mean not how? the the that. It that. It that. It that. It that. I, that. It that. It that. I, that. It that. It that. It's. It's, that that that that that that that that that that that that it's, it's, it's that's that's that's that's it's it's that's that's that's that's it's it's it's it's that's. It's that's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th they say that. Truly. I had my very first 4X recently. So did I? What? Yeah. How? I mean not how did you have it. Out of a care. Out of a care.

Um, I have just, it's never come up. Let me put it that way, it's never come up. Hmm. I don't see them a lot here in the bottle shop. Yeah, me either. And I certainly, like I don't see it on tap anywhere or anything like that, but let me say this, I found it to be a perfectly passable lager. How about that? Well, thank you very much. It's very kind of you to say. That's very brave. All right, that was officially the longest can check that's ever been recorded. And so I hope everybody enjoyed it. Folks, speaking to people who probably need a drink right about now, good segue. On our last episode, thank you. You love my segues, don't you? I'm... They're growing on me. Smooth as butter. We respect that you make the effort. Thank you. Only, only 35 episodes and they're starting to grow on them. That's good.

I also feel like they're just starting to grow in that they're getting longer and more convoluted every time. More sensical. Definitely like there's a clear through line but it does feel like there's more hoops are being added to each one. Yeah, well that's part of the challenge is that while you're talking about something unrelated you've just got the to to to to to to to to the to to the to the to the the to the the the the to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to th. th. th. the. their. the. the. the. the. th. th. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th part of the challenge is that while you're talking about something unrelated, you've just got to see that opportunity and then thread the needle, you know? So speaking of people who probably need a drink, a taxpayer-funded drink right about now, on our last episode we discussed the many wild sex bloats of Deputy Prime Minister and National Party leader, Party be Joyce. He'd been in a bit of trouble. He'd finally had exposed to the world his affair with his sexy mistress, 20 years his junior. Now there was a lot of

moralizing from various parties. As we said at the time on that episode, part of the issue is that whether you are like progressive or conservative or young or old, there was basically no way to look at this story that kind of had a positive angle for Barnaby. It sort of, you know, it became clear that there was a bit of, a bit of sort of assistance from the government in helping him both sort of shuffle along his mistress from being his staffer as well, obviously highly inappropriate to other places and all that sort of stuff. So we recorded that episode and put it out and then, um, it's safe to say that over the course of the following week a few more things have come to light It's almost been an unending stream of things coming to light. Oh with attempting to put together a timeline

of all the things that have happened in the week that has passed since we talked about. Attempting because there's just been just shit heaps every day. It's been it's been wild. Just out of control. So I'm trying to let me let me try and put my finger on where it was at when we stuck a pin in it last week and I I don't even think we were at the point then of knowing about the the various roles that were created for his staffer Vicky Campion. Is that her name? That's her name. That is indeed her name. Yep. Who apparently was the former deputy editor of the Daily Telegraph, Australia's greatest scumbag rag.

Wow, I didn't know that. That makes so much sense. Hmm. So yet was the former deputy editor and became a comms person for Bartoby Joyce and also apparently then sucked and fucked him a great deal. Oh, don't don't. Look, we can't say that. All we know for sure is that they fucked. We don't know if they sucked. We don't know if they sucked. And we don't know how many times they fucked. Let's just stick with the facts. We hope to get a line on how much sucking there was. Well we're still waiting. I'm sure it'll come out soon or later. But I'm sure someone will break it eventually. We'll keep you updated. We will.

Barnaby, Suck Watch. That's. Suck Watch 2018. Yeah, well look if we were a TV show I'm just imagining like what kind of graphics we would run on the screen at that point. So yeah, it's been pretty out of control. So where would you try and pick it up from there, Lucy? Well, I think there was a couple of days, a couple of like calm before the storm days after you guys recorded last week. And then on Sunday, the news came out that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th th th th th th th th th th th th th the th the th th the th the th the th the the the the the the the thi the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I th. I I I I I I I th. I I I I th. I I I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the the the the the the the the the the the the. theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. the. the. the. I'm of days, a couple of like calm before the storm days after you guys recorded last week. And then on Sunday, the news came out that the Prime Minister's office stepped in to move his mistress from his office and they made her a brand new role on Matt Canavan's team.

Very ethical stuff. I would like to just jump in and say, for international listeners, Matt Canavan is a minister in the nationals. Uh, he is a huge piece of shit and he's a bad man. Just a, a thunderous dunce of the highest order. Yes, also a nationals minister. Yes, look him up on Twitter. And just look at the picture that they chose for his profile

picture because you can only assume that he's so fucking dumb that he has to have people like do everything for him. So a team of people were available and that was the headshot of him that they chose. It looks like that photo of Warnie with his whole lips like wrapped around the glass, the beer glass. They've just photoshopped out the glass. Yeah. Oh, um.

That's just his normal face. We can also give Matt Kanaman a shout out. Apart from being the most blatantly obvious stooge for the coal mining industry in the entire government. I thi that that that that that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was. I that was. I that was that was. That was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the, um, apart from being the most blatantly obvious stooge for the coal mining industry in the entire government, I think that's probably a safe thing to say. He wrote, he wrote an entire essay in the same, the same edition of the quarterly essay that Friend of the Show Benjamin Law wrote his article about Safe Schools in. He wrote an entire essay about the coal in, um, the thi the to-min, the thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their coli their coli their coli toli toli coli to col mining to to to to to to to to tho the co the co-mini their co-co-coli the quarterly essay that Friend of the Show Benjamin Law wrote his article about safe schools in. He wrote an entire essay about how much he loves the coal mine in his electorate. So he's got that going for him. But his other claim to fame from recent memory was during all of the debate around same-sex marriage

before the postal survey on it. He went on Q&A and A, and a the the debate around same-sex marriage before the postal survey on it. He went on Q&A and when confronted with the statistics of how many queer young people attempt or commit suicide, he said that everyone should stop being such sensitive little petals and toughen up. I believe he specifically said that they needed to grow a spine from memory. That's the phrase. He's also the piece of shit that sold out his mum in the citizenship scandal. Yeah, you just fucking sucks on so many levels.

So he was alleged to have had dual Italian citizenship and they had a paperwork for him applying and then his immediate response was to go my mom forged it. Mom forged my signature she did it without me which is a crime. I blame my old Italian crime. Yeah so he's the worst Italian son in the world. So yeah I would just like to throw out at this point. A very big official, Buntavista, fuck you to Matt Canterman for being such a humongous slithering turd of a man.

I agree. So it's no wonder really that he got involved with the graft of setting up a $190,000 a year position for Vicky Campion, which I believe he- To get her away from Barnaby Joyce. And he confirmed today that they did not interview anybody else for that position. Is that what people get paid? They made the position. Oh yeah, it's wild. Is that what actual people like earn in a year?

This is just... You know, like, every time you see a photo of like some dipshit MP you've never heard of riding a tram and they look like they're about to shit themselves and the caption says, I'm on a tram. The person that did that, that post earned them about $7,000. Oh my God. I'm fucking, the example, the example, the example, the example,000,000that post earned them about $7,000. Oh my God. Yep.

I'm fucking having an anxiety to take. Here's an example for you, Theo, of the amount of money that Barnaby Joyce makes from his salary when he announced or the Prime Minister announced today that he was going to take a week of leave, uh, one week off from work he owns $8,000. I mean, I know know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I'm the the the the, I'm the, the, the, the the the, the, he's the, he's an the the that he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th, he's an th, he's an th th th th thean, thean, thean, thean, thean, thean, thean, thean, thean, thean, he's, he's, he leave, one week off from work he earns $8,000. I mean I know I know what MPs get paid but it's still... When you frame it in like a week by a week thing, it's just insane. But it's also... Well I mean that is kind of insane to think that her... So the Deputy Prime Minister's social media advisor, although she wasn't even the social media advisor to him, but like Barnaby's on what, like $490,000 a year or something?

I think it's early $400,000 but still obscene. Yeah, the dip shit that does their posts gets half as much money, which I mean, it doesn't sound like a lot, but it's still, I don't know, it's just fucking, it's weird. It's a lot of money. It's, ugh. Ugh. Uh, yeah, no, $416,000 a year. Oh, there we go.

Just a little bit. Yeah, so, so, uh, yes, he got parachuted into, sorry, she got parachuted into a big piece of shit, Matt Canavan's office. Yes, a new role for the lady. So was it this office, no it was Canavan's, wasn't it where they sent it there, $190,000 a year full-time social media advisor when Matt Canavan already had a social media advisor in the office?

I think she was the media advisor. Like not just social, I don't the difference. the difference. the difference. the the tha. tha. tha. tha, tha, tha, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thiole, like, thi, thi, thioliol-like, thoome, thoom. Yes, thoom. Yes, thoom. Yes, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. Yes, thi. Yes, thi. Yes, thi. Yes, thi. Yes, thi. Yes, thi. Yes, thi. Yes, thi. Yes, thi. Yes, thi. Yes, thi. Yes, thi. Yes, thi. Yes, thi. Yes, thi. Yes, thi. Yes, thi. Yes, thi. Yes, thi. Yes, thi. Yes, th, I don't know, I don't know the difference. Well, like I said, he also confirmed today when people said, oh yeah, they just created the position with the sole purpose and intention of slotting her into it. And you would think that you might be able to refute this by saying, for example, oh, we advertised this role and then we interviewed eight people and we found that according to the criteria that Vicki Campion was by far the most qualified person. Instead Matt Kahneman confirmed today, no, we didn't interview anyone else because we all knew who Vicky was and she's great at it.

And that was enough apparently. Of course you did of course you knew who she was. Why would you interview more than one person to pay them a hundred and ninety thousand dollars a year for a job? Yep. So obviously the next day Labour accuses the government of a breach of the ministerial guidelines. To which Malcolm Turnbull said the deputy Prime Minister did not breach the Ministerial Code of Conduct because Ms Campion was not his partner at the time of the staff appointments. Which is, I just don't even know where to to begin with that one. It's hard to know what angle to take isn't it? Because there's like there's no way to look at

that other than they already expect people to fucking hate them and now it's pure just hanging on to seats mode. They got Scott Morrison on 730 or whatever after that day, after the partner's day. And when they were like, okay, so what constitutes a partner? Scomo was like, oh well, you see, you can only have one partner at a time. Sort of not really looking at the fact that that's the whole fucking point of what fucking happened because he was fucking cheating, you're fucking dip shit. And it's polyurasia. I know.

But yeah, Barnaby was not just cheating, but by or, you know, it wasn't just that he cheated because as I'm sure we will discuss further. And as we discussed on last week's episode, at every turn of this, the entire thing is painted as though Barnaby Joyce had one too many shandies at the Christmas party, put one up this lady who came back a few weeks later and said, oh no I'm pregnant and he went, oh no now I have to do the right thing, leave my wife. No, rather than that it was he was conducting a very long-term affair.

Living together. Like people were talking about, um, that it was already public knowledge in the sense that he was already trying to reconcile with his wife in April of last year. And he's still with this woman now who is heavily pregnant with his child. To try and paint this as though Barnaby Joyce has had some momentary lapse of judgment is fucking absurd. Yeah, and, and, and, pff, dumb, it's so dumb. The suggestion that he hasn't been living with his wife for, you know, six to eight months or whatever, and in this time he has been staying with this woman that he clearly is conducting

a relationship with. She is pregnant with his child. They spent the, like child. They spent the holidays together over Christmas the entire thing to suggest that this woman could not be considered his partner because he also had a wife. Oh yeah. Who he had also by this stage already publicly acknowledged that he was separated from. Yep. And she said that too. So fun that like Malcolm Turnbull's favorite thing is semantics so he just assumes that he was separated from. Yep, and she said that to you.

It's also fun that like Malcolm Turnbull's favorite thing is semantics too. So he just assumes that the Australian public's favorite thing is semantics too. It's like, well, ah, but have you considered some bullshit semantics excuse for this? It was like, you had the back, like, boo, boo! Yeah, because he... He just can't understand. It's wonderful. He tried to whip out the centerlink definition of a partner. Which is wonderful as well with all the people getting pegged for, like literally as we speak by the robo debt scandal for partners that they have never lived with in their life. So that's a good start. Yeah. Well, not just that, but like the government's own definitions, the Centilink definitions and stuff, besides the actual stuff that they have written in that definition, generally speaking, if you are

living in the same, if you are a woman and like with a child and you are living in the same house as a man, the government by default assumes that that man is financially supporting you and then factors that into any welfare payments that you get. You need to jump through great hoops to get to that point of actually clarifying it with them. So yeah, he whipped out the definition of partner, which was like it's kind of broad strokes if you're a, you know, cohabitating blah blah, blah, blah. Which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which I, th. th. th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, like, I thi, thi, like, like, like, like, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, like, like, like, like, like, like, thi, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, thi, I thi, thi, I thi, I thi, thin, thin, thin, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, I thin, thi. the definition of partner, which was like, it's kind of broad strokes if you're a, you know, cohabitating, blah, blah, blah, which I don't think they were demonstrably cohabitating until after November. But the definition of being in a couple by Central League standards is basically like anything, like if you've seen a person of the opposite sex,

like one of the dot points that can qualify you for being in a couple is just any sexual relationship. So like if you give a hand job to a stranger in a nightclub, you're a couple, congratulations. If you, if within the last six months you have watched a romantic comedy and imagined yourself having a relationship with one of the characters, you are technically in a couple. Yeah, absolutely. For the purposes of welfare payments?

It's just like of all the things that he could have gone to, it was one of the dumbest fucking things to try and pull out. And the reasoning has to do that is because the ministerial code is not very comprehensive, it's not a legal set of rules, it's just like guidelines that were drafted up. So there's nothing you can point to where he's like, oh well the letter of the law is this. It's just says partners and then he's like oh, uh, uh, uh, sort of like that's fine, that'll do. Well, I have many thoughts about the whole ministerial code of conduct angle, but I would probably like to save that until we get to the end of this timeline, which involved what happened this afternoon. So please continue, Lucy.

Continue with this timeline. Ah, yes. Well, I believe later that day, the revelation came out that at some point Barnaby was living with her rent-free in Armadale in a place that was, he was not paying rent for because it was provided to him by his millionaire friend Greg McGuire who said he was just helping a mate out. Just helping out a mate whose political party I regularly make donations to. Just helping out my buddy who earns over $400,000 a year and just needs a bit of a rent-free place with his mistress.

Now it's also worth noting with the Greg McGuire, is that his name? Yes, I don't know who he is. Sorry if I could just suggest here, cock sucker Greg McGuire. That's... Yeah, so, so this guy also has a bit of a sorted history in Barnaby's electorate of New England, which is that he, there was a former either liberal or national candidate who was getting set up to run, went and had dinner with this McGuire guy, and when he

finished having dinner with him, he immediately traveled to the head office of the nationals and had a conversation with one of the leaders or, you know, main administrators of the party, who immediately reported the entire thing to like the federal corruption body. Yeah so they didn't, I don't think they ever actually came out with the specifics of what was said or anything but the guy in question then immediately withdrew himself from running for the party. And also I'm pretty sure that Tony Windsor, who was the former independent from that seat, who regularly sort of ran against Barnaby Joyce, that he, I think he accused this

McGuire guy of attempting to bribe him? Or, um, it was, it was something where he said that basically this guy said to him, oh, you know, what do you, what do you want? What's it gonna, what's it gonna take to, you know, get you to do some nice things for me in this electorate? So the guy sounds like a real piece of shit shit, who is ready to throw a whole lot of money at getting whatever he wants out of a politician. So it's all a bit of a shit storm from there. I don't know where to peg down what day everything happened.

There was the sexy photo that came out on the cover of, I think it was on the daily telegraph, of Barnaby. Eyeing off his scantily clad lady which is a you know it's just terrible stuff unbelievable. And look we're not you know we're not into we're not into shaming the ladies for their bodies or their clothes but I'm gonna go ahead and say it wasn't it wasn't what I would consider a super workplace appropriate outfit. I'm gonna say it was not a work-appropriate outfit. I'm gonna say I'm to the mind the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their it's just just just just just it's their their their their their their their their their their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their they. I's they. I's they. I's they. I's just just just just just just just just just just just they. I'm the the they. I'm just just term. I'm just just just they. I'm just just they. I'm just just they. I'm just just they. I'm going to say it was not a work-appropriate outfit. I'm of the mind it's honestly not that bad.

Like she was wearing a relatively modest-length skirt and a singlet top to an agricultural show. Like, typical, typical. I just, I really don't like that that's exactly what the subtext of the photo is. It's not. Oh, it would have been for the telegram. Definitely. Yeah, well, that's the thing.

It's that when you're presenting something like that as the telly, to the telly's audience, you know exactly what you're doing. easy Barnaby is, it's meant to be, check out this dumb slot. That's basically the subtext of the picture. If you looked at the comments from when they posted the headline, posted the front page, that's all the comments are. Even from like, you know, left leaning people, you know, lefty boomers are like, they just like drop their principles the moment it's someone they don't agree with. And it's just, like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like. Oh like. Oh like. Oh like. Oh like. Oh like. Oh like. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh....................................... the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. It. the. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It with and it's just it's yeah I don't know that shit pisses me the fuck off and it's super gross I definitely took the picture as um bunny horny but you're an advanced modern man so you would read it that way he did look horny and yes we can all agree that supposedly left wingers

are the worst at championing all kinds of values until the moment that it is politically expedient for them to them to them to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the to the to the to the the the the the the the the the to the to the to the to the to the to to the the the the to to to to to the the to the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their to to to. to to. toe. toooo-c. toe. I toe. toe. toe. toe. I thoooooo-s. I tho. Iing all kinds of values until the moment that it is politically expedient for them to turn around and go, oh this dumb slut shouldn't be wearing a short skirt. But I will say as far as like, you know, I have worked in like media and comms sort of areas in both very large corporations and government departments and I definitely looked at it and was like that is not what I would expect somebody's coms advisor to like a minister the deputy prime minister's comms advisor to be wearing at a function.

This is true. Yeah. But also the worst thing that she's done is sleep with Barnaby. That's her crime. Yep. All right so we're up to the to the rent-free stuff as well with the... And then this made international news. So I think it was the Washington Post maybe. Had this huge article about the deputy Prime Minister of Australia who was a vocal anti-gay marriage advocate is having an affair. So the whole world knows we're fucking a country of dipshits, so that's good. Horny nation. And I think that leads us up to today, which has been a good day. Oh, there was one more thing before that, which was the... Honestly, it's so stupid

and I feel like I'm fixating on this and nobody else found it as funny as I did, but the Daily Tele, front page this morning was another Marxen, Joyce, yarn, where I think the headline was something along the lines of like, seems fishy or whatever, and it's Joyce standing next to Campion while Joyce is holding a fish. And then like, in the first or second paragraph there's like images capture a playful bar to be Joyce and Vicki Campion mucking about with a fish. Which is just like something from the like a fucking Chris Morris news thing minister caught mucking about with a fish is just like the best scandal I can imagine. So so we, we have missed a couple other things thing, minister caught bucking about with a fish is just like the best scandal I can imagine.

So we have missed a couple of other things. Oh, there was the, uh, it was only a little thing, but he corrected his military record. He had like exaggerated it by three years, which is bizarre. Yeah, apparently it was undecided there whether he had exaggerated it or whether it was a clerical error in the filing because apparently they had made a bunch of other errors with other people's dates as well. It was just a strange time to be doing it. It was very funny. I see part of the reason that I'm inclined to err on the side of not believing Barnaby is because the the general MO for like like like it, like, um, like, um, I it, the, the, the, the, the, the, it, it, it, it, it was it was it was it was it was it was it was it was it was it was it was it was it was the, the, it was the, the, it was the, the, the, or the, or the, or the, or the, or their it was it was the, or their it was their it was their it was their it was their it was their it was their it was their it was it was it was it was it was it was it was it was it was it was it was it was it was it was it was it was it was it was it was it was it was it was it was it was it was it was it was it was it was it was it was the cl it was their it was their it was their it was their their their their their their their the the the the the the the th th the cl cle, the, the, thi thi thi the the cler the cle, the cle, the cle, the cle, of the reason that I'm inclined to err on the side of not believing Barnaby

is because the general MO for like ministers and senators and stuff in this department, much like expenses scandals, is that somebody does some investigating, and they do some freedom of information requests and they dig up some documents and they say, hey, you claimed a shitload of taxpayer money for this thing that you went to where it doesn't seem that you actually had any electorate business in the thing you were doing and they say, oh yeah I'll just correct the record and then pay for that. And now I'm not in trouble. And the Army Service thing was like somebody said, hey you didn't actually serve for this long or th or th or th or th or th or th or th or th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. I I the th. I I the th. I I'll their their th. I'll th. I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll thi I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll thi I'll thi I'll thi I'll thi I'll th. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I'll, I I'll, I I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll the the the the the the the the they I'll, I'll, I'll they I'll thi. I'll thi. I'll thi. I'll thi. I'll thi. I'll thi. I'll thi. I'll thi. I'll, I'll, I'll thing was like somebody said, hey, you didn't actually serve for this long or for these three years and he went, oh yeah, I'll correct that.

Now speaking of expensive stuff, there was also the thing that came up where he had been pinged for, using, I think it was like $16,000 of taxpayer money for 50 nights that he stayed in Canberra where he had no electorate business and Parliament wasn't sitting. I am. So basically he was just on the taxpayer dime boning down with his mistress in Canberra I think is the assumption we're all making. Yeah it was something like he he claimed twice as many knights as the next amount claimed by another national MP. Yeah, it was a very significant discrepancy.

And also, there was the thing that got uncovered today or yesterday where Labor started asking questions about a payment from the government to a company that just so happened to be owned by Barnaby's pal who gave him his rent-free apartment. Oh I miss that. Yeah wow. So yeah I mean like what what I'm really taking away, like I said before, I think what has made this quite unique as a political scandal is that there's something for everyone to be disappointed by. Oh, there is. We're all against him. It's fantastic. Yeah, it's like a centrist, labour, liberal voters, national voters, greens, far left and far right people. They all have something to dislike about this.

Well, I mean, I think he has to like shoot some Catholic iconography with a gun to make Miranda Divine flip her side of the story, but everyone, oh, she's. Devine's been quite critical of him over this. She just found a way to turn her criticism of him into criticism of also the people that are criticizing him. Is that the uncle that was about the left? He was like a victim of the left or something? The sanctimonious left will make this sort of video overblown.

The insinuation was that yes, he absolutely did something wrong and people should be mad about it, but the leftists who are like pretending to be madder than they actually are or should be ruining it for everybody, so of course the bad party in this is the leftist, which is a pretty standard Miranda Divine tactic. If you are unfamiliar with Miranda Divine, please go back and revisit an episode in a series of which we have only done one entry and we need to do another one Ben called The Dipshit Dossier and a very first entry was examining the collected works of huge noted Dipshit Miranda Divine. Miranda Divide, cartoon horse penis enthusiast.

So also I could not help but notice in her article where she was vaguely defending Barnaby. There was a little excerpt that caught my eye because she said, um, she said, oh, all these leftists pretending to be so mad. But they'd be crazy to dump him, given all of the support that is flooding in to the Nationals' offices. And she then quoted a letter, and apparently this was the first and most worthwhile letter of support that she thought, you know, was worth quoting,

in which somebody said, good on you, Barnaby. You're a straight white, non-Muslim male, just like me. And what you do in your own time is none of my business. You have my support. I was like, what an incredibly strange letter to pick as... Oh, you couldn't possibly stand to lose the support of a man who writes letters like this. Fuck, she's cooked.

Oh, she's so cooked. Please do go back and listen to that episode. And Ben, I would really like it if we could do another dip shit dossier. I want to say Andrew Bolt. Should we do Andrew Bolt next? Yeah, Bolt would be a good one. Yeah. Do it, then you can talk about how Bolt's coming over to the left. Yeah, how we get some wokish-I wok, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th thi. tho. thi. th th th th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi of this, all this jazz, brings us to today. Brings us to today. And like I said, something for everyone to hate.

Like progressives and left-wing people can dislike the graft, the jobs for the boys and the girls kind of angle. The very clear evidence that the government has taken an active hand in covering this up. The, you know, all the dancing around ministerial standards stuff, all the very, like, oh, there was... So the one other announcement today was that the the the Labor Party in question time had asked, will Barnaby Joyce be acting PM when the PM goes away on official business next week? Because if you are not an Australian listener, when we have the Prime Minister, who is the Prime Minister, and when the Prime Minister fucks off to another country to do some international bullshit, the Deputy Prime Minister becomes the acting Prime minister for the country during that time.

So you know, Turnbull is due to go away next week and the Labour party were asking, so is Barnaby Joyce going to be the acting PM, presumably hoping that that would be the case so that they could spend the entire week fucking mercilessly roasting him during every question time. And the prime minister, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the the, the prime minister, thistististist, thi-fix, thi-fxist, thi-fx, thi-fx, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, thu, thu, thu, um, thu, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. So, um, um, th. So, th. So, th. So, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, that they could spend the entire week fucking mercilessly roasting him during every question time. And the Prime Minister said yes, absolutely yes, he will be. Until the very next day, today, which he said, actually Barnaby will be taking leave for one week and Matthias Coleman will be acting PM. This made it sound a lot like Barnaby was getting put on the back burner or the very least like he was trying to avoid scrutiny. And yes, so it is worth noting that like I said during his week off

he gets he gets his $8,000 of pay. But there was one final other thing that we didn't even catch in the midst of all this other shit about Barnaby, which is apparently, between the time that he had to, that he was disqualified from his seat, because remember that he had his whole citizenship saga, he was disqualified from sitting in his seat, which meant that he technically lost his $416,000

a year job for six weeks until they ran the election campaign and he was put back in. You would think that a man who has spent the last several years doing a $416,000 a year year job and then however many years before that, doing it you know $300,000 a year or whatever could maybe pay his own way for six weeks during an election campaign. He did not. He did not pay his own way. He did not. Instead it turns out that the National Party used their funding that they get from their own fucking members to pay Barnaby Joyce his full salary in that six weeks, which was apparently something like $38,000 just in that little gap so that little Barnaby didn't possibly have to just pay his own way on his almost half a million dollar salary

in that small gap of six years. Even their members. They're very own members who contribute donations to them. They've years. So they've finally pissed off even their members. They're very own members who contribute donations to them. They've pissed off right-wing people who are all about family values and straight marriage and all that sort of shit. They've pissed off people on the left who don't care about the money but just want to be sanctumonious about his hypocrisy over the same-sex marriage, the list just goes on and on and on. And so this afternoon, Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull announced that he was going to have a press conference at 450 in the afternoon, called it very little notice, which often suggests

that some shit is about to go down, am I correct? Yeah, yeah, usually. I was hoping for something that did not happen. Yes, and everybody went, oh shit Barnaby's out of here, he's fucking gone. And... He is not gone. Yeah, the Prime Minister called his press conference and said, I've had a good talking to Barnaby, and he knows that he's been naughty now. And that was kind of the gist of it. So I missed the actual thing.

And then, and then, I don't know if this was actually in the press conference because I missed it, but then the bonk ban happened. The bonk ban. The bonk ban. Bonk ban 2018. So, yes, Malcolm Turnbull announced that they're banning people from having sex with their staffers. So the press conference was super weird because he spent the good first five minutes really laying into Joyce, which was fantastic.

It's just being like it was shameful. It's disgusting. I can't believe he did this. Blah b bla he knows what he's done. That it's shameful. It's shameful. It's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they's the they's they's they's they's the ban they're they're they're they're they're the banning. they're they're they're they're they're they're they're banning. they're they're they're banning people. they're baning people. they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're their. the shameful. It's disgusting. I don't believe he did this. Blah blah. He knows what he's done. That it's shameful. The lives that it's impacted. And he, the speech came from a slightly male ally bent. He was largely talking about how the worst thing about it is the impact it has on the women in his life, which I mean is probably true, but I mean from someone like Turnbull it sounds very hollow. So he banged on about that and he said this is a big problem and it's something we're going to have to tackle and it's ridiculous that we haven't done this up to this point. We're going to add a thing th a tho tho thin thin thin thin thin thin thing thing thing thing thing to thing to add a thing to add a thing to add a thing to add a thing to add a thing to add a thing to add a to add a to add a to add a to add a to to to thi. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to that we that we're that we're that we're that we're that we're that we're that we're that we're that we're that we're th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. to to to to to to add to to the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the. the. the. to a thing to the ministerial code of ethics, which means no sexual relations of any kind between staffers and ministers.

Starting now. Right. So, there's a range of problems with... A lot of issues here. I am of the mind that it's kind of bullshit. I mean, as I said in the last episode I genuinely think sleeping with your co-workers is a terrible idea. Sleeping with someone where the power dynamic is that vastly different. It's generally a terrible

idea but also so previously the ministerial code had a thing in there about partners and family members that you could you know employ people in your office or appoint people to other offices that you were, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that that that that that, that, that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that, that, that, that, their their their their their their their their their their their their that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's their, that's their their their their their their their their their their their their their thi, you're, you know, employ people in your office or appoint people to other offices that you were, you know, that was your partner or whatever, you just needed to get the PM's approval for the role, which is kind of where all of this nonsense where a lot of people were trying to got you choice over, which means that there's a very good chance that there are already people that are in those positions that have those relationships because it was previously allowed. And I mean the idea of just coming out of nowhere and saying, all right, if you're in one, you're

fucked, you've got to stop doing what you're doing. Seems kind of insane to me. But on the other hand, because the ministerial code of conduct only applies to government MPs, so only coalition MPs and coalition assistant MPs, not coalition senators, not senators from other parties, not ministers from other parties, strictly government ministers. Fuck them. They can go to hell. Who cares? Yeah. And look, there's obviously a bunch of issues here with the ministerial code of conduct stuff specifically, namely that it just makes zero sense to, as the liberal and the national parties so frequently do,

position themselves as the voice of moral authority, telling, you know, tellain their issues, you know, teling, you know, teling, you know, teling all the the the the their their the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the. the. te. Because, tell, tell, tell, tell, tell, today, tell, the. the. the. I the. I the. I their their the and the national parties so frequently do position themselves as the voice of moral authority, telling all the plebs and the scum on welfare that they need to get their shit together and what they're allowed to eat and drink and what you're allowed to spend your welfare on and what kind of jobs you should be having and all that kind of shit, who you should and shouldn't be having sex with, all that kind of shit. Who you should and shouldn't be having sex with all that kind of stuff. So for Turnbull to position this entire thing as, oh look what he did was really wrong, it was really terrible, it was a huge breach of ethics, it was massively damaging to his own family, it was massively damaging to his own party, to the government, it's been a massive distraction. It's all really bad. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's all th. It's all thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. th. th. thi. thi. the kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind thi. So thi. So thi thi. So thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. thi damaging to his own party, to the government.

It's been a massive distraction, it's all really bad, it's all fucking awful, he shouldn't have done it, it should never happen again, massive breach of trust, but it wasn't specifically written in the rules. So there's nothing we can do about it. There was no clearly etched thing in the rules and apart from anything else the ministerial standards of conduct are like more than likely deliberately vague. But the suggestion that somehow like I was reading a quote from him before that was like you know what he did was really really terrible but now in 2018 we have to say that it's totally unacceptable to have a relationship with you, we have to say that it's totally unacceptable to have a relationship

with you, you know, to have a sexual relationship with your staffer. I'm going to go out on a limb and say it wasn't acceptable in 2017 or 2016. I would go out on a limb and say the vast majority of companies of any kind of significant size would have fucking workplace rules about this in place for probably the last 20 years at least saying this is inappropriate do not conduct this kind of relationship. So the suggestion that like once they change the rules if somebody does it it'll be acknowledged as a horrifying breach of ethics and that person will have to go. But since it wasn't specifically written in stone in the rules, our hands are tired and

there's nothing we can do. It's just so fucking farcical. One of the reporters asked pretty much exactly that question where they were like, well, okay, if it's such a heinous thing to do that you've made a rule about it, why wouldn't that not be enough grounds for Barnaby Joyce to go? And then I wish I could find the exact quote, but I'm typing the one hand and also I can't remember it correctly, but Turnbull's response was basically just you can't go backwards in time.

Well, it's just so fucking dumb. Yeah, but you can now retroactively deem people's current relationships to be untenable. Like honestly, this is just, if there are people that are in relationships with staffers now, they're in the government, they are the ones being punished while Joyce gets off Scott Free. There's a whole other aspect of this that hasn't really been touched on, or I don't know if we brought it up last week, but I saw there was footage from an event where ministers and their families go to like Kiribili, the Prime Minister's

residence and do a fucking meal or whatever. And so all these different ministers and their family were walking in and the journalists outside were asking everybody what they thought about the Barnaby Joyce stuff. And they asked a deputy leader of the Liberal Party and foreign affairs minister Julie Bishop what she thought about looking into the you know the private lives, the affairs and stuff of how the Labor Party had said they were going to keep asking questions about this and her response was people in glass houses and then she turned and walked about this. And her response was, people in glass houses, and

then she turned and walked into the doorway. And several other liberal ministers, when asked about it, said, oh, well, you know, if they want to do that, we can start digging dirt on them because we know tons of other people are engaged in the same kind of thing. And it just struck me as being that absolutely bizarre kind of like, rather than any form of attempt to distance themselves from it or refutation of it or you know, saying, oh, this is just an outlying thing or whatever, instead they just went straight to, ah, well, we know that other people are also doing this shitty thing that everyone's saying we shouldn't be doing, so we'll also drag them into it. And it, like, it was said, there was no sense, there was no, no, didn't seem to be any kind

of awareness of the idea that that sounded fucking ridiculous and very guilty. It was just like, oh yeah, well, we'll tell everyone about all the affairs you guys are having to. I was like, that's not a great response. So the whole thing's ridiculous and I would like to quickly throw to a question from the mail bag, which I feel is quite relevant to helping us just wrap this whole thing up. I hear a gecko. It's nature corner time, bitch. It's a corner. And that ends Nature Corner.

Do we know who the gecko was? Uh, you know what, with these headphones, I can't tell what direction it's coming from, which is how I ascertain the identity of the gecko. Uh, my suspicion is that's not one of the geckos that I know. Okay, not a not a friend of the show this gecko there is a stranger of the show and there ends Nature Corner. So wife of the show Connor Stokes hello sweetie. Muah my kiss kiss Yeah, for those playing at home.

Theo, make a kissing noise. No, absolutely not. Theo, do a kiss. Only for my wife. For fuck sake. Just, Theo, he is your wife. He's your wife now. Come on, do it.

Just give us, give us one or two. Mua. Yes. Oh, those are some big kisses. Very open-mouthed kisses. Yeah. Maybe calm down next time. So, um, for context folks, we recently added some other tears to our Patreon for subscribers. We have always had friend of the show, which is people who subscribe and support the show with their $5 a month payment,

but we have added two higher tiers. We have the mid-level tier lover of the show, at which point you become our mistress that we try to hide from the government. And right up the tip-top, we have wife of the show, our dearly beloved, cherished subscribers. So Connor Stokes, beautiful sweet wife of the show, asks, is this Barnaby scandal going to drag on much longer than it should because he's too dumb and or cooked to realize the extent of his own fuck-ups, aka Malcolm Roberts' syndrome?

And it's worth noting that he asked this question like several days ago. So there's been another great big river of diarrhea since then. that he asked this question like several days ago. So there's been another great big river of diarrhea since then. And I would just like to say on that particular question that I feel like what this whole sorry saga has really bought home is something that I've had a strong suspicion about for quite a few years, but I think this really cemented it. And that is that the political class in this country, which for several years now has been polling as like the you know the most distrusted institution in the country, and just keeps getting worse and worse, it's that basically there is nothing that a politician can do anymore, short of being caught red-handed in a crime or being declared constitutionally ineligible to hold a seat that will actually force a political party to say,

all right, this is too much and you've gone. Either that, or in the case of things like, if you remember the string of expenses scandals a while ago, that culminated with Bronwyn-Wishap, losing her role as both a liberal Party minister and Speaker of the House because she had used a helicopter to fly somewhere that was about 15 minutes away from where she was so that she could land the helicopter on a golf course and then walk into a Liberal Party fundraiser.

That was like the one incident in all of that stuff where they basically said, all right, we've lost the ability to defend this anymore. They tried for a good like, I'm going to say, two or three weeks. They tried for way longer than they should to prop her up until finally Tony Aberde gave her the tap on the shoulder and said, time to go. But if this string of things about Barnaby Joyce has resulted in not only not him resigning or being asked to resign, but basically the Prime Minister calling a press conference to cover for him by saying,

oh, I've given him a big yelling at and a smack on the bottom. And I've insisted that he take a week off to sit in the naughty corner and really think about what he's done. And that's the only reason, it's not because we don't want people just asking him questions about it. To me, it's very clearly an attempt to say, let him out of the news cycle for a week. And to to to to to to to to to th, and th, and th, and th, th, and th, th, th, th, the, the the, the the, the their the, their the, their, their, their, their their their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the their, the their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, the out of the news cycle for a week and try and let this blow over and then hopefully people will just focus on

something else and stop asking questions about it and it'll be all right again. So yeah there is there is effectively no longer anything that a politician can do that will actually get you expelled from a party. I don't know what it would be anymore. The shit we've seen over the last week or two with Joyce. Just... Pretty much nothing. Well, it's just been, it's literally been day after day after day of revelation

about extremely... Getting worse, every day. Yeah, just shady conduct, taking money from big donors and not declaring it, taken free shit, taking money off their own members and donors to make sure he doesn't actually have to reach into his own pocket at any stage, pretty much absolutely anything they can do to just deflect attention from him rather than just saying, okay, this guy has committed too many ethical breaches of the highest order and he's got to go because it's doing us too much damage. And you know, the daily telegraph and all the horrible people are calling for him to go and it's just not going to happen.

I think it was like a super cynical play from Turnbull this afternoon. it's not even like an ass-covering thing where we've gone oh well we've all gotten together and we've all decided that there will be no consequences for any of us you know which is fun but there's like a real like dark cynicism to what I think is a very deliberate, re-kind of framing of the facts of what have happened into, well, he's just been a very naughty boy, like sexually, he's being very naughty and this has an impact on his family. And as we discussed on the last episode and as people are, like on the left, I think,

the screaming, or the blue in thethe face it's not about the fucking affair holy shit it's about the fact that he's about the graft right which is just you know and and and yet you know they can't understand why people hate the political class in this in this system when you know he's yeah staying rent free you know in a an apartment owned by a man who stands to politically gain directly from the position that he's in. Absolutely none of that is being talked about. It's just what a naughty boy he's been. And it's hugely cynical and I don't

I hope people see through Turnbull but I mean not just that they're framing it as the naughtiness as a single error of judgment not you know a sustained pattern of subterfuge you know he's essentially misrepresenting himself to voters, misrepresenting himself to his colleagues. It's lying to his wife, lying to the people that he's worked with. It's not like, you know, they talked about like, oh, he made a big mistake. Well, he made a series of decisions. We've talked about, though this has been a pattern of behavior from him long before any

of the stuff about the affair. There was all of the, like all the different expenses scandals where he's had to repay money for things because it was very obviously off like, you know, flying to fucking India for mining magnate Gina Reinhart's family members wedding and then charging taxpayers for his flights back from India. All that sort of shit. He's been engaged in just this shady, graft, bullshit. All the stuff that, you know, career politicians think of as just being their natural entitlements to subsidize their salary.

But to what you were saying, Theo, I absolutely agree because that was one thing that really stuck out to me from their Minister's press conference, which is where he said, like, people don't care about the stuff about the jobs or whatever. What they care about is how mean he was to his wife and daughters. And it was like, no, that's literally, that's the part that taxpayers get a fucking say-in is creating like a $200,000 a year job for your mistress so you don't get into trouble. The you know the shit that taxpayers care about is all of the all of the covering it up, all of the paying for flights and accommodation for you and your fucking mistress who also works for you, who is also paid for by taxpayers to fly around and take holidays and all that.. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi. thi. thi's thi's, thi's, thi's, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. also paid for by taxpayers to fly

around to take holidays and all that sort of shit it's all of that stuff and then all of the naked obvious lying about it and everything that's the shit people care about. And you kind of go well if it took you know a very embarrassing affair like framed in very embarrassing ways you know she's pregnant he's still married, all this kind of stuff to actually reveal all of this stuff, which I would say is totally incidental to the affair. You have to wonder what else is going on like at the top level of these parties. Especially if they're talking, yeah, that comment about glass houses where they are, you know, watch out if you investigate, glass houses, you know, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, the, the, the, the, you, you, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the're talking, yeah, that comment about glass houses where they are, you know, watch out if you investigate, you know, big glass houses, you know, deliberately aimed

at labor, whereas I think the public will hear that and go, well, fuck, maybe, maybe we should look into all of them. Maybe that would be not just something you say sarcastically, but actually a very decent idea that we should apply everywhere. Actually, you raised an interesting point because I did see, I cannot remember who it was, but a journalist on Twitter responding to one of the prime minister's quotes saying, oh, it's completely unacceptable, so much so that we are now making it a rule in a ministerial code of conduct and he said okay so once that's in the ministerial code of conduct it does is that a green light to journalists to investigate every one of these affairs because now it will be officially against the rules of

conduct for ministers yeah I saw at least Barry Cassidy yeah that was shout out old wrinkled bulldog Barry Cassidy and I will say crime pass of the week, have sex with your staffer. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not going to say that. Like consensually, consensual. Yes, not that kind of crime. It's not illegal. Not that kind of crime. Not an illegal one. What's the word? This is a guideline pass. A misdemeanor pass. Guideline path. Minor misdemeanor. Yep. So yeah. This is kind of peripheral to, well I mean it's it's evolved the Joyce thing. This just kind of speaks to how the whole thing is kind of indicative of his character. There was a story that came out on 2GB yesterday with someone talking to Ben Fordham.

So yesterday or the day before, where it turns out that when Campion was five months pregnant, deep, deep, deep into her affair with Barnaby Joyce, Joyce's wife, ex-well, I guess she's still taking his wife, whatever. The estranged wife, Natalie, had to intervene to stop him from sending out the Christmas card that had him, his wife, and all the kids on it. Oh yeah. What a piece of shit.

So, you know, he's still trying to use his family as a prop. Yeah, so there is the hypocrisy of saying my family is off limits while also trying to use them to portray yourself in that way. Yeah, I can't remember who it was, but someone was making the point that, you know, he got News Corp in to do like one of those big cushy, oh look at me at home with my family pieces like prior to the affair coming out. He has used them, he's brought them into the media, he's brought them in as a a a as a, as a, as a, as a, as a, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, their, their, to, their, their, their, their, their, their, to, their, to, thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, their, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, their, and, and, and, so.. And, and, so. So. And, and, and, so. And, and, so. So. And, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, so. So. And, so. And, and, and, so. And, and, so. And, so. And, so. And, so. And, so. And, so. And, so. And, so. And, the, they. And, toe. And, toe. And, toe. And, toe. And, too. And, too. And, too. And, too. And, to. And, to. And, to. And, to. And, to. And, to.the affair coming out. He has used them. He's brought them into the media. He's brought them in as a political tool, you know, to sell his image as a family person or whatever. You don't get to decide that they're not, that family's not relevant to you the moment you start fucking around. Although clearly family isn't relevant to you the moment

you start fucking around. So we are going to keep an eye on things things things things things things things things things things obviously things obviously things obviously things obviously things obviously things, obviously, obviously, obviously, obviously, obviously, obviously, obviously, obviously, obviously, obviously, obviously, obviously, obviously, obviously, obviously, obviously, obviously, obviously, obviously, obviously, obviously, obviously, obviously, obviously, thin, obviously, thi, thi, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the, the, the the, the the, the the, the the the the, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th thi, thi, thr-up. thr-upoothings, obviously, over the next week. We'll see what happens. We'll see if Barnaby takes his holiday and everyone gets bored of it and he just comes back and gets his image rehabilitated, as happens with so many huge piece of shit Australian politicians. Or maybe just more and more shit will come out and he will wind up stepping down. Either way, we got you covered. We will keep you informed. Right now though, I'm going to very quickly jump to another question from the mail bag to help me tie this off. This question comes courtesy of a lover of the show, Amy.

You may remember Amy from comparing Theo to Brainy Smurf and just... I do remember Amy from that, Angie, thank you. Yes, I thought you might... Amy, you may be happy or sad to know that you have irreparably psychologically scarred Theo. Anyway, Amy asks... No, it's fine, I was already like this. Amy asks, says, I just want to confirm that Andrew thinks that the Spice Girls are better than the Beatles. So for your context on the last bonus episode, Lucy and I talked about her attendance

at a recent screening of 50 Shades Freed. We went very in depth on the trilogy of 50 Shades movies, the Wayans Brothers parody, 50 Shades of Black, and then somehow we just got into me talking for a long time about the film Spice World starring the Spice Girls. I was comparing it to the Beatles movie, A Hard Day's Night, I'm pretty sure. You were, you were indeed. Yes, but I would like to confirm that I do in fact think that the Spice Girls are better than the Beatles and that their contribution to society and culture will outlast the Beatles by hundreds of years. Andrew, thank you so much for having me on the podcast.

It's really, it's a really fun thing that I get to do. It's incredible that I'm here and you are such a fucking idiot. Gotta agree with every word they were just saying. Oh, so you enjoy the podcast too, that's good tonight. Just for the record, did any of the spice girls beat their wives? No they didn't, Ben, thanks you very much. Interesting. So, uh, so that's... I think Theo just died. Yep. So members of, members of the podcast who support beating your wife and estranging your children to members of the cast who enjoy the antics of the Spice Girls too. Oh I see, I see. Yep. Yep. Yeah that's a

very even split. Yep. So folks if you would like to catch that episode and more we've got lots of bonus material for you or if you would just like to support the show if you would like to become a friend, lover or wife of the podcast please head o' to patr- the the the the the the the the to the th th th th th th th th th tho-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-you tho-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-yo to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to t. t. th. t. tho. to. tho-s. I to'-s. the-s. to'-s. the-s. to'-s. to-s. to-s. to-s. to-s. I to-s. I to-s. I to support the show, if you would like to become a friend, lover, or wife of the podcast, please head over to Patreon at Patreon.com slash Bunto Vista, sign up today, give us all of your love and we will return it in kind. Also, if it's your bag, get on over to iTunes and rate the show, five stars only. Can we just put that out there? Five stars only? Five stars only. Five stars only. Yeah, if you've got a less than five star review, I want you to think it. And then just walk into the sea. Yep. I actually invite a four-star review

with constructive feedback, so just putting that out there. I don't want that shit. No. But only if the constructive feedback is not critical of either of any of us individually. Yeah, if you've got a review that is less than five stars, I would like you to write it down on a post note and then just fold the post it up, chew it up and swallow it. So folks, we're going to leave you there. and we'll see you, we'll see our beautiful patrons over on the bonus episode and we'll see the rest of you scumbags. In hell. Yeah, you thankless freeloaders. We'll see you guys next week. Bye everybody. See you in hell. I'm...