Boonta Vista - EPISODE 354: The World’s First Free-Use Comedian (with Tom Walker)

Episode Date: July 14, 2024

Our dear friend Tom Walker joins us to talk about: The high stakes world of competitive laser tag, the power of one voicemail recording to change the world, a very professional watch heist, and the Clipping Report. *** Tom's Sydney show: https://standupsydney.com/event/tom-walker-my-treasures-my-beautiful-treasures/ Tom's Melbourne show:  https://www.comedyrepublic.com.au/event/38:355/38:1066/ Tom's Brisbane show:  https://goodchatcomedy.com/index.php/events/tom-walker-my-treasures-my-beautiful-treasures/ And a later Tom's Brisbane show: https://goodchatcomedy.com/index.php/events/tom-walker-my-treasures-my-beautiful-treasures-830pm-session/ *** Support our show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista *** Email the show at [e-mail]! Call in and leave us a question or a message on 1800-317-515 to be answered on the show! *** Twitter: twitter.com/boontavista Website: boontavista.com Twitch: twitch.tv/boontavista

Hello and welcome to my boy. Hello and welcome to Buente Vista episode 354. I am Ben and I am here listening to my favorite podcast. It's sort of hard to describe. The first thing you need to know is that it's very funny. The pet very silly. It's sort of a loosely improvised, semi-structured, free-flowing conversation between these comedians who are like, they're super zady, they're very rude, and yeah, they're married,

and there's three of them. That's right, it's bigger, soft titty.P.N.G. Immediately resenting that we gave you the time to write this while we were all sitting still on the call. Immediately resenting it. Oh do you hate to hear yourself described and then plus a bit? Yes. With its large physical presence and serious demeanor, in a way sort of the dad of the policule. It's streamer, comedian and the only person I know who has read receipts turned on on Messenger, it's Tom Walker, it's Andrew. Hi Andrew. Hi, it's me, Tom Walker, Andrew. You're Tom Walker, Andrew. It's so weird.

I was going to write the exact same intro as this. Like, for the toy. Like where I would say, it's Tom. Like, thiii. But I couldn't really get there with the idea. You got there. You got it. Don't wait to find out who tongue. Yeah. And of course, there's the sainteamest member of the Polycule. It's streamer, comedian and voice actress Demi Lardner. It's Lucy. Demi. Yeah, there you go. You nailed it. Yeah, that's really good. Can you do the high? Yeah, that's really good. Can you do the the the th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's th. Yeah. Yeah. That's th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's th. Yeah. That's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the same. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's the the the the the the the the the same. That's. That's. That's. That's. Yeah. That's. Yeah. Yeah. That's. Yeah. Yeah. That's. Yeah. Yeah. That's. Yeah. That's. That's. That's. That's. Yeah. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. Yeah. That's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the can all do that. Tom, can you do the high? Wow, that's amazing. It's pretty good. And last but definitely not least.

It's the third member of the policul. It's sort of like the punchline of this intro, because I've set up the other two things, and now you know the third thing is thi, It's, uh, it's, uh, can't be Hitler, because we've done a Hitler one pretty recently, and that just wouldn't. It can't be the guy that shot, shot at Trump because someone died and that'd be off colour. It's, it's, it's, it's, the guy that tried to kill Shinzo Arbe. We got him. It's Tom Walker. Hi, Tom. Well, if you want to go by, oh, first off, congratulations to me me me to me to me, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. th. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th, if you want to go by, first off, congratulations to me for killing that guy with a gun assembled from the contents of the mouse trap board game. But second off, if you want to go like, you know, a factual route, of course, our Polycule

Third is going to be drawn from the ranks of the listeners of the podcast. Yes. We're so thrilled to, you know, finally enter the audition phase this year by going through everyone subscribed to the Patreon. I thought you were going to use the system where the person who was the funniest to both of you separately in chat on the stream gets to join. Like sort of who has the best quips and stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's kind of like when you perform for the owner of a comedy club before you get to regularly perform there. Yeah, my heart just was it.

No, instead they've chosen to do one of those, um, fuck every fan program. What I, what I'm gonna need people to do is start, uh, I'm gonna rejoin the Buntivista Discord and people can start at me at their will, and whim. I was actually actually thing thing thing thing thing thing thing thing thing thing thing thing thing thing thing thing thing thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, thi, to to to to to to to to to to their to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their, their, their their their, their, their their their, their their thus. the, their the. their thou, their their their thou. their their th. thou. their th. to to to to to th. I. I to their will and whim. I was actually gonna message you the other day to say, you're missing out on a lot of compliments in the Bunchavista Discord, which probably good for you. I don't think you should be- That's definitely, yeah, no, I don't think I would take well to praise.

I haven't had practice. It's just, we have one channel in there. complaining about a series of other podcasts that I'll leave anonymous and then praise for BST. That's all that happens in there. It's a really funny podcast. We love our crazy podcast. We do. Hey, I bet that these two podcasts due to being Australian probably make more sense if you're from Australia, that's because they're sort of regional. And we discuss things that are regional that happen in regions, in regional bullshit. Regional bullshit. Regional bullshit. Every little town has got their own bullshit.

Regional bullshit. Every little town has just got to happen. It's a tail of that longer than usual. It's always slightly too long. Yeah. Looking at your dog, you forget for a little bitch? No, I know exactly how big that is. No you don't, you don't know anything about him. He's in the other room, he's cuddling with Maddie.

This is from WANE in Fort Wayne, Indiana. The Wayne! That's right. Summit City transformed into laser tag capital. to the Laser Tag Capital. Cool. Awesome. Awesome. Claim to fame. The summit city has been the capital of Laser Tag since Thursday.

What was it on Wednesday? They didn't have shit on Wednesday. On Wednesday, they didn't have fucking shit. Wednesday was the night before the beginning of the dawn of fire. And now finally, we have an industry. Since Thursday as a national, a national laser tag competition has attracted players from all over the world. Teams from cities including Fort Wayne Indianapolis, Las Vegas, Los Angeles, Cleveland, Cincinnati, Toledo, Baltimore, Cincinnati, Toledo, Baltimore, Philadelphia, Washington, D.C., Ann Arbor and Madison have been competing

alongside international teams from Gutenberg, Brisbane, Hobart, Frankfurt and Nuremberg. Hobart. I've got to find out. I bet I know the guy, you know. I have some Facebook friends in common with one of the guys from Brisbane. It's fun. Quote, I got together with a group of guys from Sweden that we wanted to play America's best here on their home site. Ben Baker says, after traveling for Brisbane, Australia to participate.

It's going to be a memory we will hold with us for the rest of our lives. That's beautiful. Yeah, that's a laser tag. Yeah, I guess that's pretty fun. Me in the nursing home at 90 years old, a nurse comes up to wipe my brow. I was a loser. I mean a couple of Swedish guys. I just met up with some Swedish guys.

Yeah, well, probably because it's not enough Australians to feel the full team. So you've got to, you've got to go with one of the other like D-level countries. I got that guy from Hobart, maybe. One of the other countries that Americans think about every once in a while. Yeah, definitely Sweden, right up there. Teams competed Friday in 10-minute games. Tournament runs until Sunday at Ultrazone. the the the the the the the the their their their their their their thoze. thoze. thoze. thoze. thoze. thozezezezezezezeze. thozezezee. thoom. thoome. thoome. th. th. the. thoome. tooes. tooes. tooes. tooes. to tooes. to to to to go. to go. to to go. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So, th. So, th. So, thi. So, thi. So, thi. So, it's the. So, thea. So, thea. So, toooooooooooooooooooooooooo. So, to to to to to three and will compete in other games to go farther in the tournament throughout the weekend. Tournament runs until Sunday at Ultrazone, family entertainment. So it's happening.

Oh yes, it's going on like right now. I don't think I would feel particularly serious about something that I was doing if it was at a place that had family entertainment in the name. Yeah. It's hard to think of it including the best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best. the best. the best. the best. the best. the best. the best. the the the the the the the the the the the the be hard to take it. It's hard to think of it including the best in the world. Yeah. I did a little bit of Facebook's talking essentially of the guy from Brisbane that went over there. He owns a laser tax center in the north side of Brisbane and one on the sunshine coast. And he's been made for fierce advocate for laser tag. Like there's so many news stories like Courier Mail and Brisbane Times stories of him essentially refuting

the idea that it's for children. Which is very fun. I guess the- I thought, I don't know a lot about Laser Tag, you know, obviously I've done it with a, I've done it a couple of times, as an adult and as a child, but like I don't, I've never got into to to the competitive to to the competitive to the competitive to to the competitive to to the competitive to to the comp adult and as a child, but like I don't, I've never got into the competitive side of it, so I thought I would sort of delve into this little, and I think there's a really interesting

perspective here that I found on Reddit.com slash, R, slash, laser tag, with the post title, what is your play style? A little personal. Mine is a kind of sniper assassin, like getting a high ground, then sniping a bit, then going down to annihilate people from behind and then escaping so they don't realize what the hell just hit them. I'd love to be annihilated from behind. Yeah. Now, this just doesn't happen.

Like if you've ever played laser tag. I feel like the laser tag I've played, there's like it was a few dark rooms. Yeah. And like everyone was kind of just in there. And you're running around and like sandstorm is playing. You got like a glow suit and there's like sandstorm is playing. Yeah, and you're sort of firing a lot of the place. Where's no real room to be a sniper assassin? Where's? Where's. Where's. Where's. Where's. Where's. Where's. Where's. Where's. Where's. Where's. Where's. Where's. Where's. Where's. Where's. Where's. Where's. Where's. Where's. Where's. Where's. Where's. Where's. Where's. Where's. Where's. Where's. Where's, where? Where's, where? Where's, where? Where's. Where's. Where's, where? Where's, where? Where's, where? Where's, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like. Where's. Where's. Where's. Where, like. Where's. Where, like. Where's. Where's. Where's. Where's. Where's. Where's. Where's, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, where's, like, the. the. the. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the? Because you're in like a warehouse on the outer suburbs. And so it's just sort of like one flat concrete floor with a bunch of partitions and stuff. And then there's like a section that's black lights. I have a reply here from a different sort of play style. This person says, dog fighting. I'm going to face the opponent one on one. It is my laser quest background.

I thought you were like just bringing dogs. I mean honestly a trained attack dog would have its attention easily drawn in a laser tag at arena. If you're firing even just the ground around someone, the dog hates that and wants to kill the light. That's true. And he'll never like, you can't really, shooting the dog with the laser gun doesn't do anything.. It it. It, it, just, just like, just like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just like, just just just just just just just just just just, just just just just just just just just just just just just, just just just just just just just, just just just just just, just just, just, just just, just just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just like, just like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. to kill the light. That's true. And he'll never like, you can't really shooting the dog with the laser gun doesn't do anything. It doesn't like disable the dog for 30 seconds. He might fucking hate it. And just being like, this isn't like real life, it's not realistic plugging into the owner's dog standing outside. Is there like, none of these play these play styles seem to be like I kind of, I kind of play a to to to the to the to the the to the to to the the the to their, their, their, their, their, their, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the dog, the dog, the dog, the dog, the dog, the dog, the dog, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the th. th. th. thi, like, thi, thi. thi. thoge. thogu. thogu. thogu. thogu. thogu. the, like, thi, thi, thi, like, the thi, like, like, like, none of these playstiles seem to be like, I kind of, uh, I kind of play a children's game.

A lot of them seem to be quite self-aggrandizing. Yeah, they don't sound like goofy. They're freestines classes to me. Yeah. It's like a whole, a whole range of activities that are all pretending to be a killer. There's, there's, tag there's the people who are really into like the airsoft stuff Yeah, oh yeah, I fully bought all their guns and they're out there then there's paintball At least paintball like you're doing an adult activity. That's not for kids. That's not for kids. Yeah. Yeah. Laser tag you don't want to be hit with the paintball. Yeah. Airsoft and paint ball. I'm bit more respect for and also fear for.

But laser tag, the last time I played laser tag I feel like there was some guys they're taking it very seriously and that amounted to hiding behind a wall such that the thing on their chest that the X hits was completely obscured but they could shoot other people with impunity and then. That's a strategy. That's actually a great strategy. Yes, they stood still and did that for that for that for that for the duration. the duration. the duration. the duration. the duration. the duration. the duration. the duration. the duration. the duration. the duration. the duration. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. t. t. t. t. t. the. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. ta. ta. tha. ta. ta. te. tha. tha. the. the. t's actually a great strategy. Yes, they stood still and did that for the duration of the game and then took photos of the scoreboard on their iPhones. The rest of us were kind of running around going, wah-hoo! Putting a raincoat on over my vest and then playing the game. Yeah. This guy continues here so he's going to get face to face blah blah. Yeah. This guy continues here. So he's going to get face to face, blah, blah, blah. It is my LaserQuest background. So I guess because he came up in LaserQuest, that makes him want to do it that way,

because of how LaserQuest is. And what's LaserQuest? Well, you wouldn't know if you haven't played laser quest. to the laser quest. If, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to, it, it, it, it, it, it is, it is, to to, to to, to to to, to to to to to, to, to to to to, to to to to to to to the the, the the the the the the the tha, the the the the the the the the the the theasease, the the the the the the the theasease, the the the the thease, the the thease, thiase, th in even trying to explain it. Is it just laser tag? You can't be told what LaserQuest is. You have to see it. LaserQuest and Ultrason kind of have like a West Coast East Coast beef going on. Where they have their distinct styles but both of their merits of course. Yes. Like I can be the second best player on one team and then be the alternate on another. I'm going to get up in your grill and be less than a 12 inches to a foot digging my phaser into your shoulder sensor. But hey, I was a player in the team that changed LaserQuest Nationals. Oh. Yeah, it's a pretty big deal. Are you single? That's the change the rules to say, stop

slamming people with your gun. You fucking weirdo sir. Yeah, really like holding caught at party voice. Yeah, I'm the guy who's the reason they change the rules at LaserQuest. This is such a specific type of guy because they could be putting this energy into like airsoft. Yeah, but instead he's doing melee attacks in Laser Quest. He's like slamming his gun into the root of your spine. And that that spine belongs to a 13 year old because it is laser tank. I kind of feel like now that I've seen the sort of shoot house training videos that like that like Keanu Reeves doing when he's doing like John Wick training and stuff, you know where you're on a live course shooting at the little metal guys running around. That's kind of the ultimate aspirational

point for this type of person, right? Yeah. Yeah. In the same way that the ultimate aspiration for a war reenactor is actually murdering people? Yes. Yeah. My aspiration is to get on to one one of those courses and before, like this, the first targetterterterterterterterterter target target target target target target target target target target target target target target target target target target target target target target target target target target target target target target target target target target target their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the little little little little little little little little little little little little little, their their the little little, the little, the little, the little, the little, the little, the little, the little, the little, the little, the little, the little little, their, their little little little little, their little little, their little, their little, their little, their little, their little, their little, their little, the little, the little, the little, the little, the little, the little, the little, the little, the little, the little, the little, the little, the little, and before, like this, the first target comes up and I immediately blast myself in the head. I feel like that would be a super intrusive thought that I would not be able to get away from. You just kill yourself in front of all the other laser tag participants. Just one second, you got the gun in your mouth. I've seen too much. I've seen too much the horrors the horrors the horrors the horrors the horrors the horrors the horrors the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the the th. th. I the the th. I the th. I the the thi. I thi. I thi. I the first thi. I thi. I the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the th. I come the th. I the th. I th. I th. I the the th. I th. I the th. I the th. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. the. thea. thea. togea. togea. ta. ta. ta. togea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. got the gun in your mouth. I've seen too much. I've seen too much the horrors of laser tag have affected me. When will this war end?

The buzzer goes off and I'm immediately out there on the course hitting the targets with a hammer. I was doing a little more looking around about laser tag generally and about this, the guy. Ben, Ben Baker. Ben, Bootsa Baker. No, that's strange. And Ben, if you're a listener, this is all kind of just ingest. Yeah, yes, if you like this show, I'd love, I'd buy a couple beers, come come down to the bar, it'd be great. He organised the 2014 Laser Tag World Titles, which were held at LaserZone in Brisbane on the Sunshine Coast, and the website for that is still up, and so I have a list of some of

the players sort of, not like a username, it's kind of like a nom de gur, I guess. Like a handle maybe. Here we go, in no particular order. Phoenix. Uh-huh. Don't. Wolverine. That's cooler than Phoenix to me. Noticing a trend. Processor X. Hmm. And yet no one picks Cyclops, weird. Stingray. Cougar. Black Magic. Gonna need to know more about the person using that name. They are not white.

That's very good. Yeah. Punisher. Back into the marble territory. Okay. Blaze. Okay. Beefy. Yes. Yeah.

Okay. I'm bored with beefy. Brain. I also support brain. Yeah. Using my strategies. Saron. Yeah. Using my strategies. Sauron. Now nobody picks Cyclops, but.

That's so good. That's really cool dude. Asrael. Wraith. Robo. Come on. Ninja. Oh boy. Ninja Jim.

This is why it's good that you can't register the same like a username as someone else. Because this is all that Xbox Live would be if we didn't have like, oh you actually can't be ninja. And so someone's like, yeah, naming themselves auspiciousness or whatever, like, you know what I mean? Like we're dipping into the vocabulary word gamer tags. So they're being 500,000 guys called like, Angel of Death. Yeah. Or Morpheus.

Oh, oh. Oh, Jesus. You're on a team, you're on a team sport, yeah. Think about it. Think about it before you pick it. They don't have team mindset based on those Reddit posts. These guys are in it for their own kills. Yes, they're in it for the glory. Spitfire.

Oh my god. Like lichen. Like lichen. Like lichen. Like the lichen's like. the like the lichen. the lichen. the lichen's. the lichen's. the lichen's. the lichen's. the lichen's. the lichen's. the lichen's. the lichen's. the lichen's. the lichen's like. the lichen's like. the lichen's like. the lichen's like. the lichen's. the lichen's. the lichen's. the lichen's. the lichen's. the like. the like. the like. the like. the like. the like. the like. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the thi. th. the the thi. the the the the th. the the the lichens from undergone Weirwolf. Not like Moss. Oh, not raw. I'm like maybe. Because he lies in weight. He does have a kind of sniper assassin play style. You will slip over if you step on me. I would describe myself as a sniper assassin in laser tag,

aka I get very out of breath if I run for more than six steps in a row. Yeah, I'm just kind of standing and waiting on the side of the maze that no one uses. When I was a, you grew up in Sydney, right, Tom? You got me. When I was a kid, we used to go to a, there was a zone 3 laser tag in, I want to say, is there a place in Sydney called Leicart? Is there a Lycourt in Sydney? I think there was a zone three near Lycart that had like two areas. One was absolutely massive and it was completely unfinished plywood and in like full,

like high voltage halogen lights. And then there was one very tiny area that had, it was just black lights and black paint and st stuff. And no one would ever go in the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other th th there there there there there there there there there there there there there is there is there is there is there is there is there was there was there was there was there was there was there is there is there was there was there was there is there is there is there is there is. I there is. I there is. I was there is. I is there is there is. I is there is. I is there is. I is. I is. I is there is. I is there is. I is there is there is there is there is there is there is there is there is there is th. I th. I th. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I'm thi. I'm tho. I'm the. I'm thooe. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. Ithen there was one very tiny area that had, it was just black lights and black paint and UV paint and stuff. And no one would ever go into the other half the fully lit one because it sucked real bad. Yeah. But my strategy was to hang out in there and wait to see if someone would come back up and then I go, oh, you didn't think someone would be here because it sucks, right? You get the laser tag equivalent of going, the, the, th and, th and, th and, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, the, the, thi, the, thi, thi, and, the, thi, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and, and, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th...... And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, thi, thi, thi, thi, the thi, the the the the thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the thi. right? I got you. I get the laser tag equivalent of going to the kitchen and seeing if there's a dog at the

party. Yeah, 100%. I think I might have had some sort of brain thing. Going to this group activity and waiting in the alone room. Yeah. It's nice out here. The music is quieter. No one's pointing anything at me menacingly. Much less distracting lights as well. Here I can just be alone with the machining of the gun. Here I can sit and think my thoughts.

Yeah. I'm in the Earthsea series in the fully lit room. Yeah. Yeah, yes. I remember doing a laser tag once with like guns that were that were like waited to be like real guns. Oh, that rocks. Cool. And I and I tell you what boy you get tired. Running around with them but like squat and stuff and the next day I was like I think I'm going to die. I think I'm going to fucking die from running around in a half squat holding something heavy for like an hour. So that's not for kids. No, it's for adults. It's like war. Absolutely. I felt so adult hiding behind

those big inflatables. War can be for some children if they have a certain ambition about them. Yes. Have you ever, Dave Harmon, a friend of mine, and one of the previous host of the Dragon Friends podcast, just to give him a bit of context for the listeners, is his previous job was he started something called Z-Town, which was like, essentially, it took over a huge public space and basically turned it into a Nerf zombie game. So it meant like it took over the whole University of Sydney campus for one day.

They used to do that shit at UQ as well, except I don't think it didn't really take over the whole campus because I think like a very small number of people did it, but Yeah, same idea. A lot of a lot of people did this one, but it also meant that a person I was friends with was exposed to people who were incredibly into nerf darts and modifying nerf guns to be tactical. And so they had to be like, please don't turn up with modified guns. And then, so that would get like posts from Nerf enthusiasts who were like, well, they usually accepted way to test the strength of a Nerf dart is to use a chronometer to simply measure the velocity that the nerf daft leaves the chamber.

So why don't you just set up as a the up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up to to dart leaves the chamber, so why don't you just set up a testing station so we can use our beloved guns and they're like, we're not going to, there are 300 people involved, we're not going to get someone to stand there with a stopwatch and time every single gun fired. We can't even get the government to set up pill testing to stop people from dying. We're not going to do it with Nerf bullets. And then they had they had they had they had they had they had they had they had they had they had they had they had the the their their their their their their their their their not their not to to to to do not to do not going to do not going to do not going to do not to do not going to do not going to do not going to do not going to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do their. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. to to their not. their. their. their. their. their. their. the the the the th. the the th. to. to. to. to. to. to. bullets. And then they had like a lot of people who were just very, very much turning up in full tactical gear with, like, you know, with no nod to the fact that they were engaged in a fun zombie time thing. Oh man. Yeah, that's, uh, this morning when I was taking Lewis out for a piss, it's hard rubbish at the moment where I live, and there was a box that had like 12 nerve guns in there and

like a bunch of different kinds of nerve guns. There was like a nerve crossbow. And my, like, the 22 year old lizard part of my brain was like, oh fuck yeah, yeah. And that I immediately was like, thuuuuuuuuuu, thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th yeah dude, yes. And then I immediately was like, no, that would be so fucking stupid, I'm gonna keep walking, but I thought about it so hard. And even saying this now, I'm like, well, I could just go back for like the crossbow one maybe, like that would be, yeah. That'd be fun, right? We don't have any nerf guns in our place, and I'm just, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, every, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. But, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, but, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. But, I, I, I, th. But, I, tho, tho. I, to thoooo. I, to to, to, to, to, I, thooo. But, tho. But, tho. But, th. just bought two BB guns to point at each other during the podcast?

Yeah. What energy would that bring, you know? Well, adrenaline. Yeah. I feel like I just fundamentally disrespect people who, like, they clearly fancy themselves in the mode of like a full bore survivalist but they're only really constraining it to like Nerf gun wars? Move out to the woods dig a bunker get some real guns. Go to Las Vegas pay for the call of duty experience. You know you can shoot those guns. What is the call of duty experience? You can do a call of duty experience. What does that mean? You can use all the guns, you know, you can shoot like machine guns and shit.

And did you enjoy this when you did it, Lucy? I didn't have the money for it, but maybe next time. Yeah, because you spent all your money on getting married. Yeah, exactly. college experience. I respect it. Big time. Hi everybody, it's me. It's Theo. Now I guarantee you I'm more afraid of recording this promo than you are of listening to it, so hear me out. If you haven't already, maybe check out our Patreon.

It's a great way to support the show and it gives us the ability to actually dedicate time to this thing. You'll get all of our bonus episodes, it's over 300 extra episodes in total, and we'll set up a feed over there with none of these promos, so you won't have to hear this ever again. You'll also get access to our Discord, which honestly is turned into a nice and funny place full of mostly normal people to hang out with. So that's Patreon. thaton. thoubter! thi. that's that's Patreon. that's Patreon. that's Patreon. that's Patreon. that's Patreon. that's Patreon. that's Patreon. that's Patreon. that's Patreon. that's Patreon. that's Patreon. that's Patreon. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th-P. th-a. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the the. the the the the the the th. th. ista. Check it out. Hey, last time I played Laser Tag, I played it with David Wayne, who is sort of a celebrity if you know about a specific kind of American comedy. We also talk about celebrities in a segment we call Celebrity Watch. A Kady Perry take really aged on the cross.

Celebrity watch. Celebrity watch. Who's getting mixed time? Is it on the cross? Celebrity watch? Katie Perry's thought. A Kady Perry take really aged well. Katie Perry take really aged well.

Yeah. She's flopping again, folks. She's in her floppy ear. Katie Perry has officially lost it. Elinna got me to throw her new video on the other day because she was like, I keep seeing a little bits of it. It's really rough. I have to watch the whole thing. I mean watch the whole thing and we're both suitably just mystified. I don't know anything about this

other than the fact that the same clip keeps coming up on I don't know whatever platforms I'm scorling through and there is half a second where it's just a full frame of titties where I'm like there it's like there's like the the the the there's like there's like there's like there's like there's like there's like there's like there's like there's like there's like there's like there's like the the the the the the the the the their their f f f f f f f f. thi. It's th. the the thi. th. It's th. I's th. I'm th. I'm just th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I's just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just th. It's just like th. It's just like thi. It's just like like like thi. I's just like like like thi. I's like like thi. I's thi. I's thi. I's just thi. I'm just like th. I'm just like titties where I'm like, ah! It's going on. There's like there's full titties in there. With that's- She looks simply wonderful in the still images. And unfortunately I will be not delving any closer. Did you say me? I think I said delving, like a fucking chat chipety, but... Well, the tape will speak for itself. This is from People Magazine. Man missed call from Doctor accidentally sends him to Britney Spears voicemail, brackets

exclusive. Cool. Yeah, so what do you reckon happen here just from that headline? Man missed call from Dr. accidentally sends him Britney Spears voicemail. Yes, and just to give you a clue, there is no possessive apostrophe in Brittany Spears before voicemail. Brittany Spears is voicemail instead. It's perhaps a voicemail when he's pretending to be Britney Spears or he's talking about Britney Spears. Hmm. Britney Spears hotline. Oops! Connor Patterson didn't answer his phone again.

Fucking hell. That's so fucking Connor Patterson. Yeah, classic Connor Patterson. This person wrote that first sentence and then closed their laptop and said, I'm done for the day, I can come back and finish the rest of this tomorrow. It practically writes itself now that that strong foundation is laid. But he did learn he and his doctor have similar taste taste taste taste taste taste taste to to to to to to to to to the to to to to to the to say to say their to say to say to say to say to say to say toe thi thi thi thi thi their their thi. That's thi. That's thi. That's thi. That's thi. That's thi. That's thi. That's thi. That's thi. That's thi. That's thi. That's thi. That's thi. That's their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their that strong foundation is laid. But he did learn he and his doctor have similar tastes in music.

Great. The medical professional wrote Patterson to note his attempt to get in touch and to share his appreciation for Patterson's hilarious voicemail greeting. An old school recording of Britney Spears. Okay. Yep. The 26 year old tells people. He set the, that's the magazine, not just like he generally tells, tells people. Uh-huh. Yeah, that he set the quote, vintage audio to answer missed calls back when he was a sofa more in high school and he's kept it ever since.

So far, just to get you guys up to speed, I know I've introduced a lot of stuff. His doctor has tried to call him and it's gone to his voice-mail. The novelty voicemail message. Yeah, he's got a novelty voicemail message, which I guess is not really something people do anymore, so that's... Kind of out. And was this relayed to the public via a vertical, like a real or a Tick Tock? And then, oh no, you're so smart. Yeah.

Okay, and we're talking like a Tick Tock with, I don't know, maybe sub-1, thousand. Oh no. Okay, no, no, it's blown up. Paterson posted a Tick-Tock about the interaction with his doctor and shared the full answering message which begins with a soundbite from Britney Spears' 1999 hit single, Baby One More Time. The singer's voice then addresses the caller saying, hi, this is Brittany Spears and sometimes my friend can't come to the phone and this is one of those times. So leave a message at the beep and baby they'll call you

back one more time. And thanks for calling. I actually think this is really funny. That actually does rock. Yeah. Awesome. Everything old is new again. This is funny to do if you're 26 also. Yeah. Because the only people calling you are like your parents and they'll hear that and be like transported back in time. You've given them the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll their their they'll they'll they'll they'll. they'll. they'll. they'll. they'll. they'll. they'll. they'll. they'll. they'll. they'll. they'll. they'll. th. th. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. I. I. I. I's. I's. I's. I'll. I'll their. th. th. I'll th. th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. th. I'll. th. I'll. th. I that, it'd be like, transported back in time. You've given them a bite at Proust's Madeline. And what sort of, 26-year-old man would be obsessed with Britney Spears? You know what type of, type of person that would be. Why he'd be a catch for any wife? That's right. Any woman would be thrilled to date him. I'm kind of curious about how he got this audio onto his phone.

Oh, that's also explained. The process is explained. Don't worry. The tick-to-talk also features a screenshot of Patterson's doctor's response, which simply reads, Just Called You, Br, incredible voicemail by the way. Oh my God. Is it? I don't know about incredible. I wouldn't go that funny. Pretty funny. How else are you going to acknowledge it though? Like, um, I just called you. What's going on with your phone?

What's up is your phone broken? I just called you, is that real? Mist call from doctor, missed call from doctor, missed call from doctor, missed call from doctor. I would love to meet her. The cancer hasn't shrunk, sorry, bad news. At no point do they reveal what the phone call was about? I know which is weird. If the doctor's calling you, that's usually pretty bad.

Pima was unsuccessful. I love Britney. It's Brittany, bitch. I'm your oncologist, and you're actually going to be experiencing something very toxic yourself. Intreating that thing we talked about, wink. Oh, fuck. I'm a big fan of, because you know, like, no one really cares about what their voicemail message is, right? Mostly because no one really calls each other. So, yeah, I find

it weird when someone's got a personalized one that's not just like the computer, the robot. Yeah, I like the computer. I like when someone has clearly previously had one of the ones where you just say your name and then it fits it into an automatic message. But then at some point the system has changed so it's no longer the automatic message. So you call them up and their voice file message is just them going, Ben, that's it. That's good. That's classy, it's discreet, subtle. Patterson admits that he was initially a little embarrassed to know Spears greeted his doctor on the phone. It's your fucking voicemail message.

Maybe you stop. Don't go to the doctor, dip shit. There. Also, that way nothing's wrong with you. That's the approach I take with my teeth. If I got to choose between having this voicemail message or seeing the doctor the doctor the doctor the doctor the doctor the doctor the doctor the doctor the doctor the doctor the doctor the doctor to to the doctor in my th the doctor in my thi thi- in my thi- thi- that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that's that's that that that that that that that that that that that that that's that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that. that. that. that that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. the. thauctor.au.au.au.au.au.au.au.au.au.auctor.au.au.au.au.a. that's that.a. that's. that's. that's. with you. That's the approach I take with my teeth. If I got a choose between having this voicemail message or seeing the doctor in my life I know what I'm picking. But the Chicago resident also understood his doctor's appreciation was genuine. Great. It's nice. He's paid to interact with you just for the record. Yes. Yeah. Yeah, that's a

Actually, that's a sex worker now Now that you've made them like you That's a emotional labor. Yes pretending to like your stupid message. You don't need your doctor to like you. No, not at all. That's not a required part of the service you could have like a rude old guy as long as he tells you that. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, he, he he he he he he he he he th, th th th th th th th that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. Yeah, Not at all. Just sort of speaking generally, that's not a required part of the service. You could have like a rude, old guy as long as he tells you that, hey, you need to, you need to get that lump-jecked out. I feel like my doctor actively doesn't like me, but she... Oh, no, that couldn't be the case. Well, she certainly likes Demi. And, that, and, that, that, and, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, thu thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi.eea. You thi. You thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii.ea. You thi. You t the same doctor? Yeah. Isn't that fucked up? That's right. I guess.

I guess. I guess. I guess. Live together, work together, podcast together. Same doctor. I know, dude. Yeah, she's like, and like she'll just like be listening to me, yeah, and then she'd be like, and, uh, and has Demi? Like, you know, eyes light up.

Precious Demi, I was just thinking about it. I'd love to get her in here and talk about all her. I mean, it is probably fun as a doctor getting something so. Yeah, inscrutable. Just checking the doors closed. Well, yeah, someone who's such a easy solve. Yeah, tug, one of those four-piece puzzles that they give babies. I pretty much figure this one out from looking at it. Just a little lull in the session before she says. And how's the one of you with normal health?

How's the good one? He got a kick out of it too. I think he appreciates it, says Patterson. You're lying to yourself brother, you are lying to yourself. Well, I don't know, he's got something to back up his theory here. Quote, I'm also assuming as a gay male, he probably loves her too. So I think he loved it all. You're assuming your doctor's sexuality. I think he knows his doctor is gay male. I thi thinks he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he- He's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi. I's thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi's thi's to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to he's got to he's got he's got he's got he's got he he he's got he's got he he he he's he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he thi. He's thi. He's thi. thi. thi. the the the the the the the to to to to to to to to to the. he he he he he he he th assuming that as a gay male, he would love Brittany. Because that's sort of, you know, it's a gay guy with gay guy doctor.

It's just such a shame to see the bubbles we put up around ourselves. Yes. The guy who lives works with his wife and also goes to the same doctor as his wife. Yeah, my doctor's a, I don't know if this came through before, but my doctor's a woman. A what? No but then whose son is at the hospital that doesn't make any sense. Sorry I go to the doctorate it's cheaper. On account of the pay cap. I've been paying 70% of the invoice that is sent to me. Yeah, this is interesting. To have a big story about a voicemail. Yes. Yeah, this is interesting to have a big story about a voicemail. Yes. Yeah, it's kind of our bread and butter top.

Just remembering also, this is celebrity watch? Yeah, the celebrity part is Brittany's on the phone. Gotcha. Well, it's a recording of her voice, so she kind of is there in spirit. Yes. And also, I think this guy is a celebrity as well now. The Tick-Tick-Creatc, tick creator creator creator creator creator creator creator creator creator creator creator creator creator creator creator creator creator creator creator creator creator creator creator creator creator creator c says is that is that is th is that's th. It is this is this is that's this is that's that's this is that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's kind that's that's that's that's that's that's that's kind that's kind that's kind that's kind that's kind that's that's that's that's that's that's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's is kind. It's, it's, it's that's that's, it's that's that's th. It's kind. It's kind th. It's kind th. It's kind of, it's kind of th. It's kind of th. It's kind of th. It's kind of th. It's kind of that's kind of that's kind of that's kind of that's kind of th. It's kind of, it's kind of is there in spirit. Yes and also I think this guy is a celebrity as well now. The Tick-Tock creator says that the doctor similarly appreciates how much social media users loved their interaction which has reached 3.9 million views and over 419,000 likes. Wow wow wow wowie, that sucks man. I think it's actually not good how famous the

average person can be just like on any one day, like just for like one day. I don't think it's good that we've created that. My doctor heard my voicemail and now four million people have seen the text exchange that I had with my doctor. That's kind of strange. Yeah, the 15 minutes of fame thing was way over. Like it was, it's both more and less than he guessed it was. And also it can destroy people in a way that I think the originally pitched 15 minutes of fame cannot. Yeah, I think, like even the way where it destroys people, even if nothing bad happens to them, is kind of horrible.

But just, like I bet, what do you reckon, you remember there was that lady and she put on a tubacca mask? Yeah, and that made her laugh a lot and then she went far from that. Like she's probably right now still trying to wheel and deal off that. You know, like that's still her whole life and no one thinks about it anymore. Because that, she was like the- She's not getting much out of it anymore. No. And you couldn't see a face either. True. Yeah, I don't know what she looks like. that mask back on every th. She's th. She's th. She's th. She's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. tho. that thi. thi. that that that that that that that that that that that's that's that's that's that's thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. that's that's that's the the that's theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. that's the. what she looks like. She's got to bang that mask back on every time she's looking for a little juice. But like she was the only thing that was being talked about like on the internet for like a whole

fucking month and now it's just nothing. I don't remember the bit in 2016 where the try to the bit where sorry I'm on the Chubaca mask ladies Wikipedia page. I don't remember the Wikipedia page. I didn't remember the bit in 2016 where she posted a video on Facebook of her cover of Heal the World, dedicating it to the victims of the 2016 shooting of Dallas police officers. Did she have a Chubaca mask? I don't think she did. I'm... Oh man. Oh man.

And this is the thing that turns people into celebrities who feel like they have to... Oh, I'm using my platform, yeah. Yeah, yeah. You've got to take advantage of whatever you got. Yeah, and that now people expect you to like, put out, like, press releases about the happenings in the world. Yes. I believe I'm going to use to use to use to use to use to use to use to use to use the to use the thiiiiiiiole thiolomeomeomeomeomeome thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. I'm thiole people thi. I'm thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi people thi people thi people people people people people people people people thi people people thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. That's thi. That's thi. thi. That's to to to to thi. I'm to to to to thi. I'm thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooe. I the. I theings in the world. Yes. Like, yeah. I believe I'm going to use my platform the same way our old pal Mario does, to get through this crazy level to other bigger, better platforms

and just see just where this adventure goes. Yes. And why don't you all join me by subscribing on Twitch. I'm gonna shoot you with the Shinzo Arbaker. Yeah, fair enough, absolutely. Life's kind of a bunch of quests for me. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yuck. Yuck. Elinor and I were watching some Connor O'Malley stuff over the last couple of days. Like, um, like some of his stuff that's on YouTube where he's like filmed entire things himself and edited it all together, you know? And and she absolutely loves it because she's like, it is both very funny and like genuinely horrifying. It really has like the vibe of a horror movie, you know, as the tone kind of goes darker and darker across the whole video. But I think he's like really tapped into a

particular like very online kind of person with some of the characters he does because at some point during one of the videos, Eleanor just kind of sighed and said like there must just be so many people out there just making videos for fucking no one. You know, just just grinding out this shit and posting it and trying to get a little connection with somebody and nobody's listening and it's going nowhere. That might suck if nobody wants to be the Chubaca Chubaca. I don't know what that's like, but you know, it must. It's weird. Like when you see the statistics on like, every platform has like the craziest curve

of like where the views and the likes are that like 1% of users get 99.99% of the views or whatever. And there are literally like millions of, like everything. It would be on Twitter and Twitch and only fans everything like there are people out there that are working their arses off that are like you know what a couple of more years of posting with only like 30 listens or 30 views or whatever and I will have my moment. It's gonna pop off. Yes that's not how it works it's like it's really not. It's really depressing. Yeah. Think of all the podcasts that go completely un-listened to. I, um, it would be a lot. Not ask. You're listening to it. Thank you for listening. I'm a huge fan of

of R slash Twitch. And like, basically any zero viewer Twitch stream because they, they have an interesting thing where they will similarly to like, you know, you th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's not, th. It's not, th. It's not, th. It's not, th. It's not, th. It's not, thi. It's not, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, they they have an interesting thing where they will similarly to like you know social media people they'll be like you have to do You know you just have to do this you have to do that you have to make sure you're Working and grinding away at this, but it just amounts to them like clicking go live and then streaming silently for eight hours a day and then Most thing about it being like does anyone have tips for discoverability? I'm paying my dues. Yeah, they do view it as like, yeah, it's, whoa, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's kind of like, you know, I was, I was talking to somebody about this the other day who was saying that they had like tried stand-up comedy one time, and they were like, and to be to be to be then, then, then, then, then, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like,they were like and to be clear it was not good it went

very badly and I said my understanding like people people refer to it as like paying your dues because you've got to like get up and just keep having a go in front of people until you can form enough confidence or figure out what what works about what you're doing or whatever but it requires like eating shit over and over again for a long time, right? And, um, but like, there's people there for you to gauge some kind of reaction from or whatever, whereas if you're just like, yes, streaming to absolutely no one, how would you know if anything you're doing is good or bad? Like, there's absolutely no feedback or anything to change about what you're doing.

That's the discoverability thing as well. Like, even if you are doing bad stand up and you're like bombing in a room somewhere. You're in a room and there are people there. So like people are looking at you? Like, podcasts. Even if those people are only other open mic comedians who aren't really listening or anything, that's still, you know, 1,000 percent more interaction and feedback than you're getting from your podcast which you're just uploading to band camp and posting about on social media that no one follows. And like, yeah, I don't know how you fucking do it. You've got to do something else. You got to, like, literally the only reason people listen. th. th. th. the only th. the only the only th. th. the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only th. th. th. the only th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho, tho, tho, th. th. th. th. th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, I, I, I, I, I's, I's, I's, I's, I, I's, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I. Yeah, I. Yeah, I. Yeah, I. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. tho. tho. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. th. th. th. th. else. You got to. Like literally the only reason people listen to this is because it's so good. That's because we already had like- We're very discoverable.

Yeah, we already had like an online presence. Yes. From nothing. You can't get more people to listen to your podcast as far as I can tell other than from people telling their friends to listen to it. But like it's not like you'd the podcast friends to listen to it. But it's not like you go to the podcast app on your phone and go, oh, what's trending today? Because, I mean, some people do. That's how freedom of good home still gets listeners is people will Google funny podcast. And it's still, for some reason, high up on the SEO for that. We've got to work on our SEO maybe. Yeah, I'm going to try and nudge them out of the funny podcast game.

Funny podcast that updates often. Maybe you get to the top of that one. Uh, quote, I actually sent him a message being like, hey, just letting you know, I screenshot at your message and I put it on Tick-Tock, Paterson recalls. He was like, that's hilarious. I can't believe this happened. It's so random, it's so random that we did that. It's so crazy of us. I believe it is homophobic for me to say this, but this does sound like two gay guys,

talking. I don't want to say that I've changed changed the way the way the way, I've the way, I've the way, I've the way, I've the way, I've the way, I've the their, their, their, their, tho, tho, tho, thathea, thathea, tho, tho, that, that, that, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. I, than've changed the way I've been doing the line read since the gate reveal, but sometimes a character just lives in me. Just like you know the, well I took a screen screencher of you, well that's hilarious. Oh, that's crazy. Yes. You are being completely fucking funny right now. Despite Spears's long time presence on Patterson's phone, he tells people, magazine, that he often forgets that her voice greets callers when they can't reach him. Wow. That's the voicemail concept.

Yep. I can go days without thinking about my voicemail. Yeah, you're 26. No one calls you, except. Except your doctor, because there's something urgently fucking wrong. That's crazy, that's iconic. You are dying. My doctor, who is the same age and pretty much the same person as me, is sending me the, uh, emoji with just the teeth in a straight line. Yeah. Oh, oh. Oh. Oh! Quote, I'd never really answer my phone unless I'm expecting a call or if it's a name I remember.

So a lot of the times I'd... Or if it's a name I remember? Hmm, okay. So like if you've got the number stored in your phone, but you don't remember the name? I don't think I know it Josh. Oh, I won't be answering that one. But incoming call from Fred Flintstone.

Yabababed-du! A recognizable name! What a strange system. So a lot of the times I just let it go to voicemail and then someone makes a comment on it. The professional event coordinator explains. Yeah, I bet he's a professional event coordinator. Hi, Benny is. Yeah, club nights. Once a week, you do a club night?

Yeah, professional event coordinator for sure. I'm like- It could be. It could be. It could be. Or trivia. Hey, it could be a clan rally. Yeah. Let's stay open-minded here, folks.

This might be a gay racist Zuma. I'm like, oh shit, that's still my voicemail. And then I'm just like, whatever, it's funny. Okay. Yeah. What a journey. Uh, Spears clearly sounds younger in her message, but Patterson adds that the audio quality is also a side of the time when he said it as his voicemail. He remembers

telling me a tape from 1999 is making someone sound younger. It's from the past. That's how an audio recording works. He remembers holding his cell phone up to a computer to capture the sound directly from a YouTube video. So that's the how of it. You're wondering? Okay. Quote, it was just a straight up recording and that's why it sounds so muffled. I must have been on my iPhone four or something like that he says. Is this, did you get this from like Longre.com? This is so in depth. Why? Tessio, probably more words you got the better it is. Yeah.

Honestly, Tom, I think this is one of Ben's favorite things to do to us is to present us with a like 10 paragraph long article about a 15 second long tick talk. We spent 45 minutes talking about someone's hair cut the other day. I know I listened to the podcast. I was in there just listening to paragraph after paragraph come out of this mouth. Jimmy the hair presser. While the sound quality isn't totally up to today's standards. Dennis and says he has no plans to today's standards, Patterson says he has no plans to replace his voicemail greeting.

Quote, oh my God I'm going to keep it forever, he tells people, adding that he now gets calls from friends who aren't even looking to have a conversation. Sometimes people will tell me, oh I'm going to call you, but don't answer it because I need to show someone your voicemail," says Patterson. You are dull people. You people are dull. I'm not talking about gay people generally. I just mean these specific gay people. No, gay people are all really fun as far as I understand.

Yeah, I've seen a lot of movies about that. I find something, um... they're very fun with each other. I find something honestly intoxicating, and I tholomeome th about gay people. There's something about the gay man that entrances even the most ardent heterosexual. The closet and podcaster. Tom is a song and dance man. He's a bit of a song dance man. Oh, I'm not's like, really into working out. Seems a borderline asexual from the outside. No, I'm just kidding. You probably fuck. This podcast is crazy. We just say stuff and sometimes some people like the gay community are going to catch strays. This is another segment where we talk about people catching strays. I thought they they like rescues. I thought they were more about going to the shelter the shelter the shelter the shelter the shelter the shelter the shelter the shelter the shelter the shelter the shelter the shelter the shelter the s shelter the sse sexual the sse sexual their sexual their sexual their sexual to to to to their sexual sexual sexual sexual sexual sexual sexual sexual sexual sexual sexual sexual sexual sexual sexual to to to to to to to their sexual sexual sexual sexual sexual sexual to to to to to to to to to their sexual sexual sexual their sexual sexual their sexual their sexual their sexual their sexual their sexual their sexual their sexual their sexual their sexual their sexual their sexual their sexual their their sexual sexual their their sexual sexual their their their their their their their their their their their their sexual sexual sexual sexual sexual sexual sexual sexual sexual their the the the the the the their thoooooooooooooooooooooooo to to their their their to strays. There's another segment where we talk about people catching strays. I thought they liked rescues. I thought they were more about going to the shelter and picking up a rescue. I guess that's probably true, yeah. But instead of catching

strays. Yeah, probably. It's time for shelter. No, I'm talking still. The big report. It's just one this week and it has a death in it, sorry. A 24-year-old man died in Rochester, New York while visiting a friend at his home. The friend was on the second floor of the house carrying a rifle and accidentally pulled the trigger, which fired a bullet through the floor and into the head of the 24-year-old man who was downstairs at the time. I mean, I don't think he used like the gun from perfect dark that lets you see through walls to dome his friend and be like, ooh, whoopsie, doopsy. He might have used the far side. Lucy's right. Yeah, why was he carrying a rifle in his home? That's really funny to me. Is also, is there what are you guys picturing him standing still holding the rifle just like, this is the life? Yeah, I love holding guns.

Best thing about this one, it's pointed at the floor, so it can't hurt anyone. That's what they say. It always pointed it down. Why are you handling a gun with a bullet in it in your home with a friend there? What are you doing? Maybe practicing like, conversation for later? Yeah. You'll be wanting to ask me about by rifle I bet. You know? No, no, no, let him ask. Let him ask. Oh, this? This all thing. It's funny that you ask. Just carrying it loosely, just kind of down near my hip so it's like, I'm not trying

too hard. Yeah, like I'm not showing it off. Yeah. Slung over one shoulder kind of low on the shoulder. Keeps knocking shit off the coffee table. Oh, sorry about that. I forgot I had this. Oh this, I forgot. Oh my God. Oh, it is actually. It's so funny that you asked. It's honestly just so much a part of my EDC, I did honestly forget it's here sometimes. I don't even feel it. I don't even feel the rifle on my body. Hey, uh, shooting your friend threw the head with a gun.

Well, that's probably a crime. Itthe total 1369. You now have five seconds to fly. Help me! Help me! Help me! I'm the! I'm going to exaggerate, that is the longest time I've been alone with my own thoughts for a week.

Yeah, do you enjoy the part of the podcast where it's just us stone-facedly waiting for the segment theme to finish? I literally do. CRIMunch is a little bit grinding, I will say, but it's really even better in person where you get to see everyone kind of be like, okay. This is why we can't do video episodes. There's just no fucking way that we can leave these parts in without looking like we're fucking Patrick Bateman or something. It's no good. At least the Polish National Anthem has some laughs in it. From KTLA, thieves target Hollywood Hills Home in multi-million dollar heist.

Seems like good home target. Yeah, good call. Great job, thieves. Thieves stay winning. A homeowner remains shaken after burglars smashed their way into a Hollywood Hills home in a brazen, multi-million dollar heist. The break-in, which targeted a home in Dohaney estates, happened on Tuesday at around 1230 p.m. The homeowner identified only as Louise, uh, believes he has, he was singled out and targeted. So how you say that, the Spanish? I don't think Louise. Luis Guzman. Luzz. as he was singled out and targeted. So how you say that, the Spanish, L-U-I-S? I don't think Louise. Luis Luis Guzman.

Luis Guzman? Is it Luis Guzman? I think it's Louise. It's Louise Guzman. They got him. Maybe they were just trying to break in and see you, because they haven't seen you in one of your wonderful turn, and screen lately. Because it's always such a thrill when Louise Guzman pops up and something. It's nice to see him pop up. Yeah. My neighbor called me and said, are you at your house? Luis recalled? I said, no. He said, I'm sorry, but I think you've been hit. These guys are a cool way of saying it.

That's a really fucking cool way of saying that. The thieves shattered a large floor to ceiling glass window and went inside. Hey, are you the the the the the th the the th th their th th th th their th th their th th th th. Are th th th th th th. Are th. Are you th. Uh, th. Uh, th. Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh than th. Uh th. Uh th. Uh th. Uh, uh th. Uh, uh th. Uh, uh th. Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, that, that, that, that that that the that that ta' ta' ta' ta' ta' ta' ta' ta' ta' than than a large floor-to-ceiling glass window and went inside. Hey, are you at your house shattering one of your windows? Did you just use a jackhammer to like break into your own house? Seeing a guy smash through the wall of my neighbor's house and be like, well, for renovation. He's doing it again. Oh, fair enough. And he's wearing his favorite mask. Oh, his face must be cold. They quickly disabled the home's alarm system And he's wearing his favorite mask. Oh, his face must be cold.

They quickly disabled the home's alarm system and disconnected all security cameras. Yes. Quote, whoever broke into this house understood the security system, Louise said. They went straight to the media room and disabled the internet. That allowed them to have a free pass because all of the cameras go completely offline and automatically the gate opens. What did they take into that allowed them to have a free pass because all of the cameras go completely offline and automatically the gate opens. What did they take into that room? Kim Kardashian's famous ass?

Shut shut up. Huh? Huh? Did they do that? I don't think they did that? Yeah, it was probably busy. I saw a, it was like a brewery or a venue or something do a post the other day where they recreated the break the internet photo. But they did it like last

week, which I don't think anyone has thought about that. It's a really strange thing to do. Yeah, I think me and Demi have been thinking about it like recently but that's yeah you guys aren't representative of like the zeitgeist generally speaking no no no we're outliers it is funny that whole thing still though like yes like the I just the whole thing of like oh a picture of a but the internet's not ready for the is humongous ass is composed of so many pixels the internet could not possibly take it. We're uploading Kim Kardashian's ass and it's farting in flack. So it's actually way too big for any computer to open.

We're trying to host a Google Vagina now. Yeah. Like on Twitter and the Twitter replies. It's just a pussy. Well yeah, well that's the thing, Lucy. You got to remember, this is the post-broken internet. You know, we're living in the time of the broken internet. Yeah.

I want to see... Shattered internet, yes. Glenn Powell breaks the internet. It's just his spread down so he can still that see that crazy weasily smile that he has. Cheeky grin between his legs, right? Glead that I would love to see what you're working with. Back to front.

the full census of genitalia for one Glenn Powell. One with your thong pulled to the side, one with your eyes. Face visible. I saw a photo of Glenn Powell's family today for whatever reason came up on Twitter and they all have exactly the same teethy smile. It's crazy. I've got them all them bunnies. Yeah, they've all got like shiny white perfect like weirdly perfect teeth.

Whenever I see a family with those teeth I'm like, they're gonna eat me. Yeah, when you have you like your children's teeth replaced so they're better for biting. I'm like, okay, what are you biting? Is it Tom? Is it? Oh, Tombo? Is he next on the jumping block? It couldn't be sweet delicious tombo, could it? I'd taste ever so yucky, don't pick me. Don't do it. Sweet delicious tombow marbled from hours of sitting. I've only been eating sake and grain.

The homeowner's neighbors saw three men wearing ski masks running out of the home and driving away in a white Jeep Grand Cherokee SUV. I like this crew. I respect this crew. Professional, nice car. Done by lunchtime. Go get a big sandwich. Oh my god.

Big sandwich, one beer. Three boys. Ilgotten Gaines, Grand Cherokee. You can share in a sandwich? Like one big sandwich? Is that? Boys, that hise went off without a hitch. Now let's go to Subway for the...

But long. Six-foot-long party sub? Can I have that foot-long cut into four-inch subs, Leave it all in one piece. We're going to scooby do it. I got a scooby do it in the Grand Cherokee. Don't worry. Two dudes on the outside, one guy starting from the middle. Now I know what you're thinking, the middle wouldn't work. Well, what's happening is he's taking a bite. The other two are pushing it inwards with their mouths so that when he opens his mouth there's more in the middle. And then they giz. And off for me, that last part. I don't find anything intoxicating at her about it at all. I won't be thinking about it. I simply can't bring that to mind. What would it even look like three men kissing? Well, Google, old friend, I believe,

I'll call on you again. I'm going to watch the videos of it so I know what not to think about. The thieves ransacked Louise's closet and escaped with his entire collection of expensive wrist watches. No, you dork. Nearly 50 watches were stolen including pieces from Rolex. Odoma Pejou, Potec Philippe, I don't, I'm sorry, I'm not a watch guy, I don't know these brands. And more priced anywhere from five to six figures each. You telling me you got a six-figure watch? Multiple six-figure. This is Louis Guzman, for sure.

This is Louis Guzman, absolutely. You know what? Look up, red carpet photos of Louis Guzman. He has an expensive wristwatch in every single photo of him. Wow. It's crazy. I would have picked a different name as my pseudonym for this article. It's based on your famous tase-did watches. Are any of us on the call here, watch guys?

No. Not particularly. No, I'm not. I have a, like a casio, which I really like, and I currently need to get the strap fixed on, but it's... No. The watch guy is not a thing I can be. And usually I'm into like, you know, spending money on shit that doesn't matter, but the watch is just doesn't work for me.

I think our, as in me and you, Tom, I think we have very similar sort of kit brains, that the idea of getting like one very good something after doing lots of research into like a specific type of gear is quite appealing and I could see how the watch would fall into that but I can't get over the extravagance of getting a watch when I have a device on me at all times that tells the time. Yeah, I think the Casio watch that I have is like get out of your pocket. F 91W and also it has the benefit of like oh now I know the time and I don't I'm not compelled to open this and check the same four things that I always check and do my little rounds you know. That's very fucking smart actually I should get a watch. I should spend a couple of months on R slash watches.

No, you don't need to do that. Yeah, no, I think I just spent a little bit of time on R slash watches. No, no Ben, don't go into watch tube. I'll read a bunch of posts from you slash face master. Handman. Handman. I would absolutely be. I would like to be a watch guy if it wasn't so prohibitively expensive

Yeah, six figures sometimes it turns out Yeah, there's no cheaper watch Unfortunately, well there might be some cheaper ones on the black market right now because because of these guys So keep an eye on for that Quote my entire collection of Patek Philippe is gone though. they said all of them every single one of them. I had thi th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Six six six six six six six six six six six six th. Yeah. Yeah, thi. Yeah, thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi's six six thiiiiiiiii's six fc' six f. Six figures thi's six f. Six figures thi. Six figures thi. Six figures thi. Six figures th. Quote, my entire collection of Patek Philippe is gone, Louise said. All of them, every single one of them, I had some very special pieces. Louise believes the thieves knew exactly which watches he had and where they were located. It's an inside job, family for sure.

Yeah. I'd be checking your kids' text messages. Yeah. Maybe someone's been like, hey, does your dad have any expensive watches? Where are they? How do I disable the alarm? How do I open the gate? I'll give you $5,000. All of a sudden, a little 15-year-old Hector, he's not your friend anymore, is he? Because he wants five grand, and he knows where the watches are.

My stupid dad's too busy looking at his watches to take me to laser tag. Yes. I wish someone would fucking clean him out. I wish someone would fucking take his watches. My little hand is becoming a big hand with the passage of time and he's not even looking up from his damned watches. Yes. Great. I hate my dad. Did you call him Louise Gomez? I did because I was looking up those pictures of him. He's Gomez. He's Gomez. He's gobiz. I was. I was. I was. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was the the the the the the the the the the the the fucking. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi th. I thi th. I th. I was th. I was th. I was my dad. Did you call him Louise Gomez? I did because I was looking up those pictures of him. He's Gomez. He's Gomez and also Goseman and Gomez. It's all connected. Because McDoness continues. It was very appropriate of them to cast him as Gomez Adams, because if you

look at the original the original drawings of the Adams family that it's all based on looks like Louise Guzman. Yes yeah I said there was all that uproar about it but he looks a lot like the cartoon he's much more appropriate than Raul Julia RIP yeah he's got five kids by the way so like yeah yeah it could be anyone, could be anyone. Yeah. Wow. Quote, they knew what was here, and that's the thing I don't understand, Luis says, because I'm very private, so how would they know what was here? He said he would be investing in major security upgrades following the brazen theft.

Neighbors in the area remain concerned and said several homes in the community have been ransacked by burglars in the past few months. Though he's frustrated and remains on edge after the theft but believes the suspects' response will be caught soon enough. It would be so funny if he bought another watch and they immediately robbed him again. Yeah, he's just got like a tarp in front of that one window or they just pushed the tarp inside. He's just coming and take the watch. Oh no, they're just the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the. The only other thing in this world I love. No, no, they're removing the sundial from my front garden. It doesn't even say the time now that you've inverted it to carry it off, you charlatans. My beautiful Japanese water clock, no! I'm looking at R slash watches right now, and there's one guy who keeps posting just pictures of watches he's drawn to this.

Are they existing watches or watches from his mind's eye? No, yeah, he's like just drawing watches that exist in the world and then but then every other photo on the cell bread is just like a nasty fucking wrist with a watch on it. Yeah. And so it doesn't matter. Like what else do you post? photo on the cell brunt. It's just like a nasty fucking wrist with a watch on it. Yeah. And so it doesn't matter. Like what else do you post? Yeah. Like this guy has posted bought my first luxury watch today and it'd just be so hard not to reply with that. So that would like, I will kill you. Yes. Yeah. I'm going to get you. Kill yourself. I'd like to really apologize for what I just said. It was an instinctive reaction to the post that you've done when I thought about your life. Have a great day.

We're not replying with like, yep, no worries, we get it. This is not a place for you if you're going to say that. It happens much more often that you have to apologize within two minutes of threatening to kill someone on the post. We understand it's normal, but you just have to clear the air as quickly as possible. Past guest of the show Josh Sawyer is a big-time watch guy and I just want to say that when he does it, it's very cool. I find it very charming and cool and interesting. It's just not for me.

Quote, to dispose of stolen watches, you've got to find buyers, Louis said. The watch community is a very, very tight-knit community, and if they can just watch, wink out for a flood of watches, we're talking almost 50 watches, very high-earned watches that are going to hit the market. And you'll know that some of those watches are mine. Yes, yes the watch community is certainly not going to simply buy your watches for pennies on the dollar. Yeah, fool. Yeah you're gonna see a rival wearing one of your watches but it's a faux par in the watch community to accuse someone of yeah. Hey is that um... Huh really funny actually can I just have a look at that

and look at the serial number real quick? Because I had one looked exactly the same as that. The watch community is governed by many, many layers of etiquette, and so we'll be absolutely stopped from saying anything. The phrase, huh, I had a watch, just like, I had a a watch the end word in the watch community. Oh, you can do it actually quite a the the the th. the the the the th. the th. the th. the same the same the same the same th. I the same as saying the N-word in the watch community. You'll be banished. You'll be canceled in the watch community. Oh, you can do it actually quite a bit. Given the demographic of people, a lot of the people who collect watches. Sorry, it's instead of that. They don't have a taboo against you. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We've trade it one for the watch community. Oh my god, imagine going to like a big black tie watch meetup and just shaking everyone's hands. Be a double-handed shake everyone the next day they're like, huh, my watch feels ten grams lighter. Oh my god, it's a replica. Did anyone notice that new man, Jeremy, leaving the party incredibly slowly as if overencumbered? I noticed that there's nothing particularly suspicious about it except I noticed he didn't fast travel away at the end of the night.

He couldn't run or jump. Really, really interesting. Someone offered him if he wanted to take away some of the cake home with him. He said, I can't fit any of the inventory. What about even just a single slice? It only fits one inventory slot? No, no, no, no, no, I simply couldn't. I simply can't. Louis said, every watch he owns has specific serial numbers and official paperwork to verify their authenticity. He said he hopes the suspects are caught before they target another home or family. I hope they are killed immediately.

Yeah, before any more watches are harmed in transit. Hey, that was definitely an episode of Buntavista. That's what this is called. Thank you so much for joining. I'm sorry, just in saying that I realized that you came the su the su the su the su the su the su the su the suspect the su the suspect the suspect the suspect th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thus, th. thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus. thus, thus, thus, thus, he thus. thus. thus. thus. thus. thus. thus. thus. thus. thus. thus. thus. He thus. He th. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooes. th. th. th. this is called. Thank you so much for joining us. I'm sorry, just in saying that I realized that you came on specifically because you had a plug, and I feel like the good etiquette is to do the plug at the start, just in case we have any drop-offs. No, no, I think-

Yeah, I think- Yeah, I think doing it at the end is fine.......... to-in Yeah, they're not gonna, you know, it's not gonna affect their lives. Yeah, true. So you're coming up to stay in my house is what I understand. That's right, and so I'm gonna be posting the address on social media, and the plug is that anyone can come over and do whatever you want to me. Yay! Yay! Yeah! Yeah! That's right, I'm the world's first free use comedian. Make sure some of the stuff you do is funny. That way I can claim it on tax, ha ha. No, I'm doing that, but the plug is for something different. It's for, I'm doing, I'm coming up to Brisbane to film my show.

And I'm doing shows around beautiful Australia in preparation. Please get tickets to the July 20th performance in Sydney. That's at Kinsellas as part of the Encore Festival. I'm doing the show down in Melbourne as part of Comedy Republic's Replay Festival. And then August 8th is the big one in Brisbane, filming the show, a completely independent production. So, Bob, you know, it's just old Tombo. And, uh, it's just a the two-20. 20. 20. 20. 20. the the July. the 20. the the the the 20. July. July. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20th to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to one in Brisbane, filming the show, a completely independent production. So, you know, it's just old Tombo and a lot of people I've hired. It's just Tom with a GoPro on his forehead. Yeah, it's the first one where you get the POV of me looking at the audience and you get to see the scales in real time. Yeah, it's gonna be great. I'm really happy with this show. It's about all the, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's the, it's the, it's the, it's the, it's the, it's the, it's the, it's the, it's the, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just old, it's the, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's the the their, it's the, it's the, it's the, it, it, it, it, it's the, it's their, it, it, it, it, it, it, it's the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the, the the the the the the the the the the the the old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, the the the scowls in real time. Yeah, it's gonna be great.

I'm really happy with this show. It's about all the, it's about my many internet obsessions basically. It's a really unbelievably good show. It is so fucking funny. Don't, don't miss out on seeing that. Tom, where can people find the tickets for it? They can find it in the description of this episode. Can I send you some links?

Yeah, you can probably send me some links. Yeah, sweet. Other than that, just check out Goodchat comedy or I'll have posted it on my various socials at this point. It's not up to Tom to educate you. You know, he's not here to educate you. Use Google. Yes. Well, and you're going to use Google, you're going to type in Tom Walker Comedy Show and an AI is going to answer and it's not going to be good.

Yeah, it'll say Jonathan Pye is a... Considering walking to a comedy show, why not simply eat seven rocks about it and wish? Yeah, links will be in the description. Please go to Tom's show and laugh. Please. Don't... If like you an an an an an an an an AI i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th is an AI is an AI is an AI is an AI is an AI is an AI is an AI is an AI is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is to th is to to to to th is to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thi thi to the description. Please go to Tom's show and laugh. Please. If you're kind of like me and you find it very hard to actually openly laugh at stuff even if you're really enjoying it, stay at home. You don't look good in a crowd. Okay?

You've got to be someone who can smile in life. Have an 8 to 10 beers. Dear Autistic Podcast Listeners, it's maskin' time. Yeah, just like have a lot of downtime in the days leading up to the recording so that you're fully ready. And yeah, have like a couple of beers. Have like a lot of beers. Really fuck yourself up.

Really? Oh God. Man, I don't think we really got it from the stage. But the stories the stories the stories the stories the stories the stories the stories the stories the stories the stories the stories the stories their their th. th. th. th. th. th. to to to to to to to to to to to to too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, toe. Oh, toe. Oh, toe. Oh, toe. Oh, toe. Oh, toe. Oh, the. Oh, the. Oh, the. Oh, the the. Wea.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a. Yeah, toe. Yeah, toe. Yeah, toe. Yeah, toe. Yeah, toe. Man, I don't think we really got it from the stage, but the stories I heard from the audience of our live show of the drunk second half of what was going on in the crowd. It was a rowdy crowd. It was a very drunk people in there. It felt good for us. So drinking seven to ten beers.

Last time, I was up at Good the that. And I got in, and the guy who that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho thi tho tho tho tho the really tho the really thi thi, thi, thi, the th. th. the the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi was was was thrownean theananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananan s. toa. toa. tooan tooan tooan tooan is was I was up there and I was performing on like the Thursday and I got in and the guy who runs the show was like yeah on Wednesday we had to kick a couple out because they were fingering each other in like the second row. Oh, and it was like just a regular place for it. Yeah. It is a really nice space. The lighting down there is absolutely beautiful. Yes. So I can sort of see how there is very romantic. They've got little table lamps on a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. the th. the th. th. th. the th. the th. the the th. th. the the th. the th. th. th. the the the th. th. the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. the. guy. guy guy guy guy guy guy the. guy guy the. the. the. the. the. the. the the. the th. th. absolutely beautiful. Yes. So I can sort of see how there is very romantic. They've got little table lamps on all the tables. It feels like you're in a comedy club from like the 70s. Yeah, it's a cool place. I agree that is very horny. Yeah.

And if you'd like to finger someone there, well, hold that thoughtthe bed for whatever to happen. That's it. Thank you very much for joining us. We'll see you soon. Stay safe out there and just be gentle with Tom. Be gentle with you, fuck you, you. No, me. Be gentle. No, me. Yeah.

Yeah. Be gentle. Yeah, he's a good time.