Boonta Vista - EPISODE 376: Does This Margarita Taste Like Uncle To You?

Episode Date: December 14, 2024

Lucy, Theo, Andrew, and Ben bring you: The gamer milk that will save the world, getting paid to earn a horse's respect, a car that went into our out of a building, a car that definitely went into a building, and the secret languages of wifeswapping.

Music Hello, welcome to Ben Tivista. Here you are in a winter afternoon, begrudgingly heading home for the holidays. You a power woman girl boss who hates returning to your hometown, full of dumb hicks who haven't even heard of a Zoom meeting, let alone a board of directors. Yeah. Stopping into some dumb hit cafe for a coffee, you run into someone familiar. You realize you've spilled your serious, no-nonsense black coffee, which is now soaking into a suspiciously well-fitted flannel shirt. Your eyes trace upward. Abs, chest, jawline sharp enough to cut wrapping paper.

You realize you're staring into the cerulean gaze of Cooper Anderson, former high school football captain and current 37-year-old heartthrob. Oh, you managed to say, your cheeks flashing. Cooper, I'm sorry I didn't… Do you remember me? Well, well, well, if it isn't the big city boss herself, he says, unbuttoning his soaking wet shirt. Before he can recover, he adds casually, did you know I'm actually a podcaster now? Your heart skips a beat. A podcaster?

The prestige, the glamour, the raw masculine creativity. You're a podcaster? You ask, struggling to process what you've just heard. Yeah, he runs a hand through his perfectly tousled hair. I co-host the Bunta Vista podcast, not sure if you've heard of it. Bunta Vista podcast? Even you with your relentless schedule of power meetings, blazer shopping, and corporate takeovers have heard of Bunta Vista, the Australian podcast that's intellectual, funny, and just

the right amount of irreverent. Well you say, regaining your composure. I guess podcasting is a pretty respectable job. His eyes twinkle like Christmas lights on a cabin porch. Respectable, he says, pretending to take offense. We've been mentioned in the New York Times. Once. That's true actually.

That's not a joke. That one's not a joke. Sort of in the margins, but it's in there. Thanks, Mike. Thanks, Mike. Suddenly, the thought of spending Christmas in your quaint, sleepy little hometown feels kind of good. You're suddenly picturing Christmas lights, glamorous parties, even sharing your champagne

with Lucy? Cooper leans in just a fraction, smelling like pine trees and destiny. Maybe you could guest with us sometime, share what it's like being a high-powered city executive who's forgotten the magic of Christmas? His voice has that powerful masculine cadence that could only come from someone who hosts a podcast. But Cooper, what about your old job working for your dad? You know, at the dick sucking factory?

Kupera leans against the coffee shop counter with an effortless confidence. As if being the heir to a business that put this town on the map is just another footnote in his past. Ah, the old family business will always be there, he says. My dad won't quit until he's 100 years old, but me? I always thought there was more to life than just dick sucking. Plus, it's nice to not be pulling double shifts during the holidays. Suddenly the bell above the coffee shop door jingles and Inwalks are down on his luck,

really broken-looking men. His boots are scuffed, his hands calloused. You can tell he's been working double shifts trying to keep his family fed. You're suddenly hyper aware of your designer shoes. Awkward and humbled, it's the reality of small town life crashes down. Cooper turns smiling at this man. Hey Ben, you working the line this Christmas Eve? So do you need to pull double shifts at the dick sucking factory over Christmas because there's more demand for dick. Not because people taking time off for the holidays. There is a bigger demand in Dixit.

People are taking time off over the holidays and what a perfect time to get your dick sucked. You can tell when like there's a white collar person come in, like maybe a project manager, maybe someone from finance and they get on the floor, you can pick them straight away. First of all, there's no come on their boots. I think the more we talk about the dick sucking factor, you have to start asking questions about why the dicks need to be sucked and whether- It's best to not think about it. There's no real answer. It's a make work program from the government.

Yeah, thanks FDR. How do they stay profitable? It's the new new deal. Why is it in the factory? This one's the nude deal. Hear another deep baritone voice behind you. Hey there podcasting boy. you missing the grind yet? Cooper laughs. Hey Andrew, you still head of quality?

Control down at the factory. Yeah, I am. Cause you're the best at it. Yeah, yeah. Cause I am the best at it. Every now and then I come over there and I just snatch the dick out of somebody's hand, whole mouth.

I say, look, watch me, okay? I finished that one off and I go, that's how it's done. Remember that. Record it on your phone so you can refer to that when you're wondering how to finish sucking your dick. The newbies come in and they're swallowing it all. And you go, no, look, you got it. Oh, Andrew's gonna hate this.

Look at the last 15 minutes doing that. Don't let Andrew fucking see you doing that. You're gonna be out of here. You're not going to last 15 minutes doing that. Don't let Andrew, if I could see you doing that, you're going to be out of here. You're going to be out of here in the spittoon. Oh, that's horrible. This is your first episode. Welcome. Yep. Yep.

And we should start every episode like that, I think. Yeah. Lucy, have you been, do you watch any of these? Like, is that part of your holiday stuff is watching like the Hallmark Christmasy things? No, I've actually only seen a couple of them. I don't, like I don't feel that they're bad enough to be funny most of the time. It's so odd because there's so many of them and they're so unvaried and they must be making

bank on them. Although no one actually knows how Netflix makes money. Money, because I guess they're just like, they're not usually getting any big name actors in there, right? Yeah. Does Netflix pump them out? Yeah, they're pumping them out. If you go to the section.

Oh, multiple a year. Yeah, I suspect that this falls into that category of Netflix's self-stated, like, deliberate second screen content, where they're like, this is a thing to be on while you look at your phone. But I mean, they are just... It's comfort. They're copying a formula. Like, they already existed.

Well, these existed as a concept before the second screen. They're just literally taking over from what Hallmark was doing. Except I think Hallmark is still... They're probably still making them. But I don't think this has been done. The card guys? I think I've come up with something that could be really profitable. Podcasting small town guy.

I am so fucking, I would put genuine big bundles of cash down to bet that there is already a like, she, EO, podcaster kind of Christmas movie. Yeah. She's probably the high CEO podcaster kind of Christmas movie? Yeah, she's probably the high-powered podcaster. She's come back from New York City where she's a podcaster. Isn't the new series with Kristen Bell that she's a podcaster and she falls in love with a rabbi? Obviously not a Christmas thing, but like they're definitely out there. No, but it's very much like she's meant to be a call her daddy type podcast host. Yeah. She doesn't mind getting her holes

filled. No, she's talked about it on the show which is not what the rabbi and his family are used to. You know. No, they'd be aghast wouldn't they? Well he's just so open minded and so kind-hearted. Have you seen this? Yeah, a few episodes. Elda's been watching it. Oh, Theo, I didn't really- And then like as soon as something's doing okay, they go, second season announced. And it's like, just tell one story and then fuck off, you know?

Yeah. I didn't write the rest of that. I'm the new guy that just walked out of the classroom. And he also works at the dick sucking factory. Oh. just walked out of the bathroom. He also works at the dig sucking factory. The 40th of the month. Congratulations! Yeah. 2023's Christmas Casanova.

Elise is a podcaster in need of catchy Christmas content. Elise agrees to be Daniel's? Dan-ee-el? Dan-ay-el's? I think it's pronounced Daniel. Yeah, maybe. Not the way this is spelled. D-A-N-I-Y-A-L, couldn't tell you, agrees to be that person's wing woman and guide as the two scramble to build the best Christmas ever becomes clear that Dan might be trying

to win over the wrong woman. Oh. Awesome. She should watch that. I'm not going to watch that. Chris, if you're listening, watch this and then tell us what happens in it. One of, just one of these, just one of them should end like it is the wrong woman and he wakes up, uh, kind of strapped like all four limbs apart in like

chains and stuff, and then she saws him in half with a hacksaw. Yes. From dick to head. Yeah. I'm starting at the dick so you feel it all the way up. Hey if you love shitty Christmas movies there's a variable menu of them available at the moment. We talk about menus. It looks like menus back on the menu. Looks like menu back on the menu, boys.

I wonder if that caused anybody more pain than the dick sucking factory part. It's like watching those videos on YouTube of the plane struggling to land in a crosswind. Just before we talk about what the podcast is actually about, are you guys going to say It's like watching those videos on YouTube of the planes struggling to land in a crosswind. Just before we talk about what the podcast is actually about, are you guys going to see the anime Lord of the Rings? Yeah. What? Yeah, absolutely.

How anime are we talking about? I just wanted someone else to say yes. Are we talking like real anime? Full anime. It's like made in Japan anime. I think the animators are in Japan, but I'm pretty sure it's commissioned or in some way organized by adult swim. I believe, but it's about the war of the Rohirrim Rohan shit, early Rohan shit.

I just want it to feel okay about that. Yeah. I reckon it's going to be great. Are the animators gaijin or not? I don't feel comfortable making that claim. I are the animators gaijin or not. I Comfortable making that claim I I think it might be the same studio or the same director as what he's done something sick Oh They did like the ghost in the shell

Series not the movie. Okay a few things like that that I gotta watch that yet yeah they didn't they weren't involved with the cyberpunk series I don't know they did the Blade Runner Black Lotus one though what pretty yeah I didn't watch that the Amazon series though because that kind of seemed like a drag it was fucking awful yeah time I wish I could get back in my life. I've seen the intro of it, like with all the like faces going past. Okay, that wasn't the fucking intro. Very funny. Pissed me off to no end. I wasn't, but it was still bad.

It was a video put together by whichever magazine did a photo shoot for them, where they just did a slideshow of the photos. And then everyone was like, Oh my God, this is the opening credits. Like, well, for one, it doesn't have credits. Like, sorry. I just hate misinformation. You know, Amazon, yeah, that's sort of voluntarily. Just want people to get angry about the right things. 1.30 PM on a, on a Saturday, you're carrying water for the jet.

This is from Food and Beverage Industry News Australia. Minecraft video game enters Australian food and beverage sectors. Thank God. You guys heard about this? We're waiting. And we get square food. It's like little blocks and you kind of, you take them out of a hole and then you make a house out of them hole and then you make a

House out of them. The food isn't square in my know the food It's right. Everything's square. No, the foods normal shaped. Yeah The thing where you put a we put a boiled egg in the thing and force it to be a square or like when you grow a watermelon into a square. Well the watermelons, the egg of hard boiled eggs and watermelons is every meal. It's very simple. Food is two dimensional and everything else is three dimensional. The chicken when it's not food is made of cubes. Then you hit it with your sword which is also made of cubes and then it turns into a your sword, which is also made of cubes. And then it turns into a sprite, which is two dimensional, made of pixels.

And you sound like you've played the game that we're discussing. I played so much Minecraft. We all have. Well, we have. Minecraft has launched into the Australian food and beverage category for the first time with a new range of flavored milks made by Norco Cooperative, Australia's oldest dairy cooperative. I guess that's pretty easy to make square. Every time you look at Minecraft, you think to yourself, but what would it taste like if it were a milk?

When can I taste the milk? If I could drink Minecraft, it would be milky. The milk of the mines. If I could drink Minecraft. When? This deal with Norco was brokered by FMCG specialist agency Assemble on behalf of Merchantwise, the brand licensing agency for Minecraft in Australia and New Zealand, both Assemble and Merchantwise are part of the Merchantwise group. There really is like other levels of hell operating above and below you at all times, right? That you just are not aware of, that there are demons working away in whatever the fuck these marketing agencies are, creating brand synergies.

You know, and like the... you have played Spore, Theo, when Spore came out? Yep. You know, and like the, you have played Spore, Theo, when Spore came out. Yeah. That first stage, how you're like floating around as a microbe and you can see the massive shapes underneath you of like multi-cellular organisms, but you can't really figure out what they are. And they're also like none of your business as well. Yeah, that's what this is. I bet MerchantWise has like billions of dollars going in and out of it every year and I don't think about MerchantWise. If you look them up, they're probably like the ninth biggest business in Australia. Yes. They probably own Saudi Arabia or vice versa.

Neom is a Minecraft synergy opportunity. Served up at a new 375 mil single serve size. It's like the standard can size. Standard can, can of milk. It's like the standard can size. Standard can, can of milk. It's just a standard can of milk. It's in a bottle, but it is the same capacity as the standard can. That's a shame. I would kind of like hot day having a tinny of Minecraft milk outside. There's like no practical reason why you couldn't get a flavoured milk in a tin.

I feel like you see them at like Chinese grocers sometimes. Oh, you get the um, there's the brewed coffees and stuff with the lattes. I'm a big advocate of the boss iced coffee. I don't care for it. I don't like the key in taste. Served up at a new 375ml single serve size and more delicious and sustaining than a quote bucket of milk, the four Norco Minecraft flavoured milks are now available in in Woolworths Coles and independent supermarkets. Don't call them Minecraft, they're Minecraft themed they are not Minecraft flavored. Can you explain the bucket of milk?

Yeah there's a Minecraft object called a milk bucket. If you combine a bucket of milk... You get a bucket of milk. But you're not getting a bucket, you're getting a regular bottle or can of milk. You're getting a portion. Yeah, but it's more refreshing. I can't think you could say more sustaining than a bucket of milk. More sustaining than a bucket of milk. Yeah, because buckets more. Yes.

A bucket's bigger. A bucket's like more milk. So more calories to keep you going for longer if you're in a survival situation. I kind of want to put Norco on blast while we're here. Go on. I just don't really appreciate the dairy products. You know, I got some milk cream, cream from Norco. It was very separated, very lumpy despite being before the use by date.

I was like, am I meant to be blending this? What the fuck are you guys doing? You know? I think you got to save that for when we do our out for 2025 list of the things we no longer want. Norco cream, you are out. I'm pouring you down the drain. You are the pipes problem. Do you want to know what the flavors are that they got? For this?

Yeah. You're about to find out for the next paragraph. Oh, I'm not waiting for that. Browsing the flavored milk offerings of Norco. You know, that's all. Go on. With no added sugar and lactose free. So this is kind of a good start. I'm on board with this. They are all lactose free by default. Oh, that's great. It's good for me. My tummy brethren. The four flavors, choc charger, lime lightning, strawberry slam and caramel chug.

None of those. Those are related to the games. No, there is lightning in Minecraft. There is a lightning in Minecraft, but there is no lime to my understanding. Unless it's. I added that it's in the jungle biome. So what's that to do with anything? Yeah. Then it's in the jungle biome. So what's that to do with anything? Yeah, then it's got minecraft written on it

so this is this is the logical like Endpoint for when Microsoft paid what 2.7 billion dollars for a video game, right? Like it has to this is gonna get your we have to be selling ships start licensing shit to everyone Why not? It was like the the highest selling most sold and installed game in history, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. By like a considerable margin.

Really? Yeah, absolutely. 170 million active players. Oh my God. Like, but a large amount of that happened before Microsoft purchased it as well, right? Oh, probably, yeah. Yeah. This game is fucking like- Kids love it.

Officially released in what, 2011, but was available for years beforehand. as well right? Oh probably yeah. This game is fucking like... Kids love it. Officially released in 2011 but was available for years beforehand so it's been around for like 15 years. Back to the names, there's like a million things in Minecraft. There's so many things that you could name this after. Why are you calling it like Caramel Creeper? Creep Caramel Creeper. There you go.

Instead you've got Steve Substance. They've got Steve on the Strawberry one. Strawberry Steve. He's on the label and they call it Strawberry Slam. Elderberry Enderman. Yes. So and so forth. Yeah, so and so forth. Cow milk. Caramel Chug isn't even alliterative. No. And chug is from Fortnite. Why would you chug caramel also? That's disgusting. That is disgusting. That's not good. Yeah. Caramels to be...

Gently sipped? Yeah. We should get like, Call of Duty milk. We should get Battlefield 4 milk, like for the grownups. Blobs milk. Blobs milk. I'm on... It's a nice hot day outside and I'm just chugging blobs milk.

Maybe like a canned cocktail, like for adults, canned milk cocktail, blobs milk. Oh, like the blobs espresso martini in the can. Blobs espresso martini. What formula you got your baby on? Taking that down to the park? You got that on, you got that baby on BF Battlefield 4 formula or is that the uh... A little soap themed, who's your favourite operator to get your cocktail of? Uh, all four of these have a four star health rating and have been inspired by the very game that Aussies of all ages are completely obsessed with.

Okay. Yeah, we, like it's obviously inspired by the game that we're talking about, because otherwise why would any of this be happening? Yeah. It's also 15 years old. Yeah. Yeah. This seems fucking nuts.

What sort of game has had that sort of like longevity? I guess. World of Warcraft. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. That's about it. But I think-

Apparently Everquest is still running guess. Wow. Yeah, that's about it. But, I think- Apparently EverQuest is still running too. Oh, Christ. I could be really wrong here, but like, they seem like they offer additional, like, sort of skins and downloads and stuff for Minecraft. But it also seems a lot like the game itself is sort of fundamentally unchanged. They've definitely added more layers to it. There's more stuff to do, but the kind of core fundamentals are the same.

They literally added more layers to it. Bedrock's like way down now. Yeah. It's to be so close. Yeah, they changed the geography generation stuff. They got off Java. I guess what I mean is like compared to... Treating this fairly, like subtly subtly subtle changes improving the experience yes but I I

guess I'm sort of saying that in contrast to something like fortnight where seasons and yeah seasons and they change the map and they dump more characters in and every time you start the map changes isn't that that's crazy that's something it's just a very fun game to play I think it doesn't have a Well, every time you start, the map changes, isn't that? That's crazy. Isn't that something? It's just a very fun game to play. I think it doesn't have a lot of longevity for me in that I just run out of stuff to do really quick because I'm not a particularly creative person, I guess.

But I don't know, I've been playing this game since roughly when it came out. And if I ever am quite sick and I have a couple of days off work, I'm like... You're playing a little Minecraft?? Yeah I'm playing some Minecraft. I'm listening to back catalog episodes of oh yeah dude from way back when they first started and I am just digging around the caves in Minecraft and I'm having a lovely time. Now Lucy's dropped an image of the uh I just just dropped that. What's the go with that? Is that a creeper? No, that's a skeleton.

A skeleton archer. Oh, I thought it was just kind of a, like a, why is she kind of like, she? He? Kind of cunty? Kind of cunty. Like, it's a really cunty picture. Yeah, a little bit. Kind of like just swanning into frame.

Yeah. Swat up, sluts. it kind of like just like swarming into frame. Yeah. Sort of like a, I'm, yeah, I've got to get like a Ariana Grande kind of feel from that. Like it's giving kind of. It's definitely serving something. But like, why is the, why is this the roundest vegetable they could find for Minecraft, the square game? The roundest vegetable. Vestibule?

Like, to put it in. Vessel? Container? Vessel? I only know vestibule as a term for like a part of a church. It's a part of the house? Yeah. It's like an entryway.

No, it's something, it's a container. No, it's not. It's a chamber or channel opening into another. What is? An antechamber, if you will. I'm thinking of a container. No, it's not it's a chamber or channel opening into another one is an antechamber if you will I'm thinking a vessel. Yeah, you are It's like a petty thriller Quite no go shares with minecraft a mission to build a better world Minecraft a mission to build a better world What? Minecraft is owned by Microsoft. It's a product.

I don't think either of these companies have it their charter of like hey Let's fucking change the world. Let's change the world with Microsoft Teams. And Norco is gonna do that by selling dairy products in parts of Australia? They're gonna do it by milk. It's very straightforward. Through the sustainability of the dairy industry, producing award-winning milk. Creative innovation.

You're gonna build a better world producing award-winning milk. We hope Minecraft fans enjoy exploring the world of flavour we have created, said Ben Mendes. I mean cows are like the worst thing for the planet, right? We hope Minecraft fans enjoy exploring the world of flavor we have created said Ben Mendes. I mean cows are like the worst thing for the planet, right? Like, single-handedly they're like the- The dairy industry. It's like the worst thing for the planet. Yeah, awful. The first worst thing, man.

Yeah. Us. I guess so, but we wouldn't know that if men didn't exist. So- We'd have no way to measure it if we weren't here to see how badly we're doing. Yeah. It's real bad, by the way. We wouldn't be able to fix it if we weren't here to know that we were doing it. Quote, milk is one of the most nutritious drinks available. I'm not sure that that's true. I mean, it's got a lot of stuff in it. So that's something. I guess.

Uh, it's mostly milk. Yeah. Ingredients. Darn it, I'm upset. Milk. Uh, providing hydration, the time protein, an excellent source of calcium, vitamin B12 and contains natural electrolytes. Yeah.

We know about milk. We don't have to take a break to learn about milk again. They're trying to sell milk to you like it's like a sports drink is what they try to do. That's not going to fucking work. And hey, that's an idea. What? Sports milk? Sports can cocktail?

That's going to have protein. That's a protein shake. Yes. Come on. And an espresso martini. Hit the stands. Grab a caramel chug on your way. You're thinking like an exercise recovery cad cocktail.

Exactly. Well, that's why they got different flavors too. Some for coming up, some for coming down. Pre-workout, yeah, pre-workout canned Blobs cocktail. Yeah. It's going to be big. All of this plus Norco's award-winning touch makes the new Norco Minecraft range the go-to drink choice for gamers, young and old.

Don't touch my milk. Pay good money for the Norco touch. To help fuel those endless hours of gaming and sustain optimal performance in the world of the unknown. It's not going to be the go-to drink choice for gamers. That's a white monster. That's a white monster. That's a white monster. And no drink that sends you to do a shit is going to be like the go-to.

Not ideal. It's lactose free. So. Okay. Oh, that's why they made it lactose free. Cause a lot of gamers have IBS due to its comorbidity with other conditions. Gamers have IBS due to its comorbidity with other conditions. Yeah, being on the computer disease.

And being on the toilet disease. Strangely linked. Strangely linked. And finally Valve has released a product that lets you experience both. He's holding up his steam deck. He's doing prop comedy. Prop comedy, yeah. Oh, hey, with two titans of their respective industries, like Minecraft and Norco, it's only natural that they would team up.

We examine the natural world in Nature Corner. This This comes to us from KTVB in Idaho. Roughly 70 wild horses seek new homes in BLM adoption event. Are they like going to just knocking on random doors? Yeah, please take me in. Approximately 70 horses are looking for their new home as BLM Boise District hosts an adoption event December 13th and 14th at a corral off Pleasant Valley Road. I don't think the horses are looking.

Yes. They are in want of a new home. Yeah. Certainly. Yeah. The adoption event, which is open to the public and kicks off on December 13th at 10am, will have animals available on a first come first served basis.

Oh, you've got to get in early to get the best ones. Get in early to get a good horse. Hey, is that horse still available? Only the stinky ones will be left by the end. The event goes until 4pm on Friday, December 13th and on Saturday, December 14th, it'll take place from 10am until 4pm on Friday December 13th and on Saturday December 14th it'll take place from 10am to 4pm. The animals will be at the Boise Wild Horse Corrals in Coonagh off of Pleasant Valley Road.

As part of this program to find horses and burros a good home, the BLM is offering a $1,000 incentive to adopt an untrained animal. Oh shit yeah, okay. Probably not worth it. You don't want an untrained horse, right? Yeah. I mean, but what if you do? You know, most people-

What if you have a special bond? What if you have an immediate connection? What if? What if? It's beautiful, wild horse, untamed, unbroken spirit, strong, wise. It sees you and instantly your eyes lock and you're like, fuck. And you wonder why, but then you remember your own sort of untamed kind of wild spirit that you left behind because you now you work in a corporate job.

But you're still unbroken. There's a core part of you that just wants to run on the plains full speed. What if you sell it to the nackery for a thousand dollars? Two thousand dollars? $2,000! I don't know what I'm going to do with this wild horse, but there is a podcaster out there who might be able to help. There's money in the bank. You're leaving money on the table if you don't get one of these. Buy a can of them. Hey, I'm back for another horse. Back for more horses. Back for, can I just grab a couple more horses if you still?

You don't got any horses left. Hey, these paid horses are moorish. Wow, you've found homes for all these horses? Yeah, putting them somewhere. Something like that. Yeah, putting them somewhere for sure. The horses are somewhere now. I, look, I can tell you 100% honestly, I am taking these horses to a building.

This kind of differs in Australia's approach to what we do with wild horses. Yeah. Which is I think that we just get the biggest gun that we have and we put it to the horses' temple. Yeah, we shoot them from like a hind helicopter. Yeah. Just leave them to rot on the ground. We've got a bunch of park rangers with mini guns spinning around in the middle of a field.

Quote, since 1971, around 300,000 wild horses and burros across the country have been placed in loving homes. With some time and patience, adopting a wild horse or burro can be, can be a very rewarding experience. Wild horses and burros are extremely adaptable and can be trained for many uses. They are known for their sure-footedness, strength, intelligence, and endurance, Newt's release said.

Oh, you're saying a burro, like a donkey. A burro, yeah. See, like a little donkey? Like a donkey. Yeah. Or like a full-size one. Yeah. Because a burrito is a small food item.

BLM staff will approve applications on site for those who meet the requirements and demonstrate humane care for the animal. So like when you rock up, they're vetting you to take the animal away. Yeah, are we talking about like, flying it? If you punch the horse in the first five minutes, they're not letting you have it. Saw that. I saw that. At least horse in the first five minutes. They're not letting you have it. Saw that. I saw that. I think-

At least wait till you get it home. They're waiting to see the beautiful bond you have with the animal. That's the vending process. They want to see you like lock eyes. They want to let the horse pick you. That's how I understand it works. They're holding the horse back on a rope and you say, no, no, no, let go. We got to work this out between the two of us.

And we might even scuffle. We might push each other around a little. But in the end, it's beautiful. Testing each other's boundaries. I think what they're ideally looking for is for you to like kind of put your head down and then the horse also just bows its head a bit and you put your foreheads together and both of you close your eyes. Yes.

And you're pregnant as well. You're rubbing your big tummy. Wearing a sort of diaphanous gown. And you're both illuminated by a truck that has the cab tilted forward so that the lights can point down on you. So they're checking for that. lights can point down on you. So they're checking for that.

Applicants must be at least 18 years old with no record of animal abuse. Homes must have a minimum of 400 square feet of corral space per animal with access to food, water and shelter. Oh, so I can't have killed any horses before you'll let me have a horse. Like you've never made a mistake. Yeah. You might as well keep them. No one's going to be good enough. You know? Yeah. Why do we fall down so we could get up and get another horse? Like you've never met a really rude horse and had to teach it a lesson, you know?

Corral fence must meet the height requirements. Adult horses, six feet, yearlings five feet and burros 5.5 feet. Start with a six foot fence, you know? Even if you're just getting a burro, cause you might want a horse later and you don't want to have to extend the fence. Smart.

Oh the fence. I thought you had to be six feet to get it out. You must be at least four and a half feet to get a doggy. Like it matters. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, but only budos for short kings. They make you get up on it and they lead you around on it.

Are you having a good time up there? For more information about this event or how to adopt a wild horse or budo, contact the BLM Boise District Office at this site or call them at 208-384-3300. If you do call them, tell them Bunta Vista sent you. If you don't know whether you're going to have a connection with an animal, it's uncertain whether you'll come home with one of these wild horses. We talk about uncertain things in Uncertainty Watch.

I'm not sure about this one. This comes to us from WFMY in North Carolina. Fuck my... Yeah. Yeah. Fuck my... Yeah. Fuck my you.

Fuck me. You. Yeah, fuck my you You Car runs into or out of Tri-City Ford dealership in Eden We're not sure which direction the arrow of thermodynamics runs what's actually completely reversible It's only from our own subjective standpoint that it has directionality. Was this report like called in by Billy Pilgrim, the Ford salesman? It was called in by a damn Heptapod, am I right? Yeah. Yeah. The Heptapod I think would say both. I think they would say that both have happened.

Or yeah. Yeah. And. Although I think, um, fucking, oh, what's his name in the once and future king, the wizard Merlin, Merlin would say that it had run out of, I think, cause he experiences time backwards. A car has either run into or out of the Tri-City Ford dealership in Eden on Friday afternoon. Eden Police Department is at the scene.

We have reached out to the Eden Police Department for more information. End of story. Like that's where cars go, right? That's where cars go. They're running in and out of there all day. Also where cars come from. So of course they'd be going in and out. I'm not understanding the issue.

What do you want to know? What do you know? It's come out or gone into it in a way that it shouldn't have. There's like a smashed plate glass window. Well, look at the direction the glass goes. Oh, that's quite good. That's smart. I always just think you can do like a quick whip around to see how many cars you have.

And if you have one fewer, it left. And if you have one more, it came in. I feel like you would know it if you had an extra car. I feel like the staff, they would probably be like, yeah, a guy smashed his fucking car into our dealership. And now we have an extra Ford Taurus that we didn't before. I assume, did you guys see the video? A lot of people sent me this on Instagram of the guy driving his car into a

dealership, which I don't think is this one. No, I think that is actually further down in the notes from last week, but that's the guy driving his car into a dealership, which I don't think is this one. No, I think that is actually further down in the notes from last week, but that's the guy who wanted- He was just like, you didn't think I was gonna do it, but I did. Maybe we should just do that one next, now that we've finished this. You know what, let's do that.

I'm gonna read that story. This is from KSL TV in Utah. Man drove newly purchased car into Utah dealership after being denied refund, say police. I was the guy blasted in through the wall, right? He blasted him through the wall. Through the window.

Through the window. Good on him. A Utah man apparently upset with the car he bought was arrested after police say he drove it through the front doors of the dealership when he was denied a refund. About 4 p.m. on Monday, Sandy police were called to Tim Dahl Mazda South Town, which is at 10,785 South Auto Mall Drive. Stupid. South Auto Mall Drive.

South Auto Mall. Oh, that's down in the car dealership district? Oh, in the car district. The dealership district. Sorry, and the car district. The dealership district. Sorry, and sorry, can we, you said Sandy Police. Sandy is the name of the town, Sandy Utah. Are they just tracking that shit in everywhere? That is certainly not the first time

we have made that joke on this podcast. Fire your gun, click, god damn it. God damn it. That is where Michael Lee Murray, 35, had purchased a car from the dealership earlier in the day, but bought it back several hours later, according to a police booking affidavit. Murray returned to request his money back and to return the vehicle that he had bought. However, staff advised Murray that he bought the vehicle as is and the vehicle cannot be

returned in exchange for his money back. Murray told the managers since they're not going to give his money back, he was going to drive his vehicle through the front doors. The F David stats. Yeah. Fair. I don't think you can do anything wrong if you are honest and forthright and clear about your intentions. Yeah. Hey, by the way, I'm going to drive this car through the front doors. Everybody knows he's

going to do it. Everyone's been warned. They can either say, Hey, this is a problem for me. So let's find a solution. For forgiveness. Yeah. Then permission. Yes. Instead of them just saying whatever, this is what fucking happens. This is what you get. And not believing in him. Not believing in his spirit. When someone tells you who they are. Believe them. Believe them. Believe them. Yes. You encountered, this is the problem with the people at this car dealership.

They didn't know that that day they were going to encounter a fully actualized individual. Yes. The one honest person in America. Yeah. Oh, it's a crime. It's a crime to be honest. It's actually illegal to be honest.

Crime to tell the truth. Everyone's fake. Murray then walked out of the building, got into his newly purchased vehicle It's a crime. It's a crime to be honest. It's actually illegal to be honest. Crime until the truth. Murray then walked out of the building, got into his newly purchased vehicle and true to his word, drove it through the front doors of the building, according to the police. Yeah, checks out. Okay. From A to B. And this is news somehow. Man keeps promise. More at Zix. That should be news, am I right ladies? Yes, ladies. Men are unreliable and often stupid. Seven employees told officers they had to jump or move out of the way to avoid being hit. Why?

Why? Why? What did he just fucking tell you? You're telling me it takes you longer to get away from the door than it takes him to jump back in his car. Start again. Drive it through the doors. Yeah. Drive it back. Oh, I'm going to adjust my shitty weird necktie because I'm a car salesman.

I'm going to do it in front of the front doors after that guy just told me he was going to smash his car through here. Shut up. Quote, Murray's vehicle was completely inside the building. The front doors were now inside the building. There was glass shattered all around where Murray's vehicle was. See, that's how you can tell that the car went into the building. Yes. Yeah. What classic signs of entry. We know this one.

We have the directionality of this car, egress or egress. Some piece of the door and door frame had hit another vehicle that was in the showroom causing damage to the side of that vehicle as well, the affidavit states. Should have moved it. He told you he was coming in. The damage was estimated at $10,000. Murray told police the dealership quote, sold him a lemon and they would not give him his money back according to the arrest report.

I honestly sounds like they're fair and square. Yeah, even. Call it quits. Call it even. Call it even. Yes. A murder, you know? Let him do this and don't fucking call the cops about it.

He was booked into the Salt Lake County jail for investigation of- For what? What's the crime? Criminal mischief, reckless endangerment, and economic interruption. I think it sucks so bad. The crime is not being fake. Yeah. Oh, the market stopped because of one guy.

Yeah. You could still- You could have sold your cars around him. You could still sell your cars around him. He didn't drive to the desk. He could still sell your cars. It's a point of interest. You're on fucking auto mall drive.

There's dozens of car dealerships, hundreds probably. How many of them have a car that's like just crashed through the front? Yeah. If you're driving past, it's like, which one should we go to? It's like, Oh, that one looks like it's got a car driven through the front door. I've never seen that before. People must be really passionate about this car dealership. Oh, that one's got its front doors wide open.

Very welcoming. Oh, an open air car dealership. Oh, that one's got its front doors wide open. Very welcoming. Oh, an open air car dealership. I think the staff of this car dealership and this disgruntled man should have discussed their issues in an open and honest conversation, which is often the advice that we give in paging Dr. Lucy. see. This comes to us from r slash swingers. What is your secret signal for letting your partner know you're into the other couple or ready to play? I say sex now. Take one hand and what you want to do is take your forefinger and your thumb and just put

the tips of them together. Uh-huh. And what about the other? Are you doing anything with the other hand? Yeah, so you need to say, okay, you're going to have to have your other hand ready. In index? Index finger? Index finger.

And then you'll notice that on the first head you've formed a little hole there. What could that represent? Well, I mean, anything you like really. Several things. Several things, yeah, if you've seen the movie Crash. And so on, you know, like that. Perfect. When you're chatting with another couple at a loud and crowded club,

or sitting together at dinner on a vanilla date, how do you signal to your partner that you're interested in the other couple or if you're ready to wrap things up and move on? We have a signal where one of us will reach over to hold the other's hand and depending on how they respond, we know if they're interested. For example, if Mrs. Spicy, so this guy's username on Reddit is like spicy something because it's spicy sexual life. And he's spicy sexual wife by the sound of it. If Mrs. Spicy is only interested in the wife, she'll tap my hand with a finger.

If she's interested in both the husband and the wife, then she'll interlock her fingers in mine. That makes sense, I guess. Because one finger, that's just one person. then she'll interlock her fingers in mine. That makes sense, I guess. Because one finger, that's just one person. Multiple fingers interlocked, multiple people. Yeah. So just to be clear, you guys don't have a signal where she can say she's just interested in fucking the other guy.

That's interesting. Yeah, that actually says a lot. Yeah, about society. About society, yeah. Sick of these standards and stuff that we have, double stuff. So how do others communicate to their partners that you're attracted to the other wife or husband or are you all on the same page and just always know what you partner is thinking? Why not?

Walk over to your wife, get down next to her ear and go, hey, hey honey. Let's fuck them both. I think we should fuck the lady, but not the man. Yeah. Like, is that an option? I think stage whispering, do you think he's too ugly to fuck? You stay, you go home. I think this isn't so that they're like singling them out to be like, yeah, you

need to fuck off it's what's going to happen when they're all in the same roadside motel. Okay. Like a football play, you've circled your wife and there's an arrow going from her to the other wife. Yeah. You've circled yourself and then you've drawn a sort of a lasso around the other two, because you get a suck and fucking both. You do it like coach signals on the sidelines.

You do it like drawing squares. Is there a, is there a circumstance where, you know, so she's tapped the hand to mean just the lady, right? Just the wife. One wife for me, please. One wife. But the guys are both straight, so they go back to a hotel room,

the ladies get on the bed, and then the guys both pull up a cock chair. Yeah, maybe. Like side by side. Maybe they're watching the game. Maybe they're just watching the ball, you know? Minecraft. You could get Minecraft going on your phones. You could both be in the same world.

I think like 70% of swinger interactions, like their first time trying it is like two guys just watching their wives sort of make out because there's nothing gay about it. Yeah. Well, I mean, it's gay in the sense that they are having gay sex, the women, but that doesn't really count. It doesn't count. That's different.

Yeah. Uh, I've got one answer here. If I'm interested, I will flip my phone over. If he's interested, he will put his drink glass next to mine. Why don't you have the same signal? Why don't you just both do the phone flip? Well, cause then it just sort of looks like they're voting at the other side of the table. Just like, sitting across from them and they just like flip one phone, flip the other phone.

You're in. Oh yeah, true. Yeah, that's too conspicuous. Plus you can't both be doing that. Get in my golf wagon. We're going home. Imagine that you're both on the drink glass system, but one of you puts their glass next to yours, then you move it away.

They just keep putting it there. I'm like, no, no, no. Put the drink on another table. Don't fucking move over there. I got another one here. Do you like your drink is our code for asking, are you into them? So you know how that plays out. My drink's fucking ugly.

How's yours? My drink has body odor. Yeah. Bit of a turn off for me. Imagine like, and good for them, but how they'd try to do like sexy foreshadowing with the drink. Like they- Oh, like a finger around the rim kind of thing?

Yeah. Dipping it. Dipping it in. Dipping it a couple of times, really aggressively. Three fingers. Four fingers. It's really- Splashing it everywhere.

They're both just staring at the other couple while they're doing this, not breaking eye contact. Oh, my drink looks delicious. It's like a bit of potato floating in your beer. Oh no, now I'm all wet. Tipping the glass all over your face. Oh, I gotta get these wet clothes off. We're good at this. We could do this. I got another one here. Uh, My partner excused herself to the ladies bathroom. Very sexy to start with. Yeah.

I have to go. She removed her underpants, returned and put them in my pocket. Oh, are you interested in them? No, I took a shit so bad. I can't get them back on. These are a write off. Imagine not realizing that she's trying to be coy. And she'd be like, what'd you just put in my pocket? and pull it out. What? I got another one here. We interlock fingers and scratch each other's palm with a thumb if it's a go. And we squeeze hands if it's a no go. Okay. Yeah.

Seems kind of complicated. The squeezing hands is nice but it's like a better luck next time. Yeah, like a consolation like,, I know you wanna fuck them, but... No, thank you. But I don't wanna fuck them. He looks like my uncle. Too much like my uncle. But some of these are such common...

Strong uncle resemblance. My drink really looks like my uncle. Hahaha! Hahaha! Oh... Hahaha! Does this margarita tastes like uncle. Does it taste too much like uncle or like, okay, uncle, acceptable uncle resemblance live uncle or dead uncle? I have one final one for you here.

We talk about feeding our dog. Sexy. The answer is you didn't happen to catch the size of our dog's dick while you were feeding it, did you? Just thinking we use the big corg toy tonight. The answers are the answers about the couple. Yeah. And we understood that from the opening. Imagine being on the other side of this situation. Because they're trying to be sexy, right? Yeah. How much did you feed the dog?

Yeah. Should we go home and feed the dog? No, that makes... The dog food we have makes our dog's breath smell like shit. That one gives the dog diarrhea. I'm not interested in feeding the dog. Thinking about feeding this dog makes me throw up in my mouth a little bit. I think we should starve the dog. We should never feed the dog. I'd rather fucking kill myself than feed the dog tonight, honestly. I can tell you really want to feed the dog. I can tell you want to.

Well, if you like feeding the dog, why don't you just marry the dog? Maybe you should just only feed the dog from now on. Maybe I won't feed the dog at all. Maybe you should go home to the dog and I'll just stay at a motel tonight. I don't really want to feed the dog tonight, but if you really want to feed the dog, do you want to use your one feed the dog pass for the year? Do we both have to feed the dog? Because I've got things to do. For example, you fed Max, didn't you?

That means I am interested. His answer about the couple, I sure did. Very interesting. Surely in the affirmative, it's like you don't even need to do the affirmative. It's like, Hey, do you guys want to, I suppose you've got to confirm it with all right. No. Okay. It's good thing probably to discuss it with your partner beforehand.

Yeah. True. Hey, we're going to fuck the both of you. And she's like, oh, that would be the end of it. That's the end of the night. You ever see someone go, oh, you should probably leave. She's making the check please face. Yeah, we can never see these people again. So I sure did. That means very interested. Not sure if I did. Didn't you? Not sure. What are you

thinking? No, I didn't. And that means get me out. You get the idea. It has worked for us for a decade. On the flip side... Of course it works for you. It's not that hard. It's very simple. It's still weird. You could just be holding up fingers or something. I reckon you gently you place a hand

on your partner's thigh and the number of fingers that are in contact is a scale from one to four of interest. Oh, that's good. Very interested. All four fingers. Just a pinky. We should leave. I like the granularity. Let's go to Dave and Buster's.

Yeah. On the flip side, I can begin with, Oh shit, I didn't feed the dog. Or, not sure if I fed Max. Did you? You get the point. Sitting down and just like immediately look at the couple and be like, oh, the dog's hungry. The dog's so hungry. I can tell from looking at this room that our dog is about to die if we don't leave now. I think I poisoned the dog. I think I poisoned the dog before we left. We should

go and we should go check that out. You too. Come help poisoned the dog. I think I poisoned the dog before we left. We should go and we're gonna check that out You too come help feed our dog. Yeah two seconds after making eye contact with the husband I think our dog is dying. I think our dog is dying Hey that was definitely an episode of the podcast Buntavista Thank you so so much for joining us Just more corners of this crazy world of ours explored just a little bit more, a little bit of our mental map of the planet filled in a little bit more, like a map from the video game Minecraft. If you enjoyed this episode, you can get a second one of these a week.

That's two episodes a week for the price of a bit less than a schooner beer a month. If you already do that, thank you. It helps us keep doing this because otherwise we probably would have gotten really bored of it after seven and a bit years. So thank you for the money. We will maybe see you on the bonus episode. If not, we'll see you on the free episode, which I think, oh no, the free episode and the bonus episode next week will be our last episodes for the year. So keep an eye out for that.

Keep on trucking. Keep on trucking. Keep your head up. You know what? It can be hard this time of year, but just, you know, take a moment to reflect on what you've achieved or how you're feeling in your life and think, you know what, I'm doing okay. Yeah. Now keep your head on a swivel. Yeah. But yeah, always be ready for it to get much, much worse at any time.

We'll talk to you real soon. Bye. Very nice. Bye. Thanks for watching!