Boonta Vista - EPISODE 380: Mononymous Gibian

Episode Date: January 25, 2025

Lucy, Theo, and Ben bring you: A woman and her mutant dogs, baiting a bull with Mike Kuck, the significance of an open door, a perfectly legal glass of prosecco, a missing crown, and a missing gun. *** Outro: Dead Mantra - Dead Skeletons *** The video Theo was talking about is Fredward by the Billy Nayer Show from the web series Stingray Sam: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PNhXYmJ0G8c

["Sweet Home Alone"] Oh hello, welcome to Bwantavista episode 380. Oh I'm Theo and I'm just a simple wife of a fisherman, selling my husband's wares down at the fish market. Come get your squid beaks, two bob a dozen extra crunchy, bad sea urchin surprise, clam milk warm as you like. Oh, who's this now coming up? Here comes trouble, it's my girlfriend Lucy. Where are you Lucy, You bitch slag.

Hello, you old cunt. Oh, I thought it smelled bad in here. Oh, I'm horrible. I know, I know. Now Lucy, you know, we keep things between the two of us, right? Just girlfriend stuff. Yeah. Well, last night I had the most wonderful dream. All right. I was lying there in my naughty little number. You know, the one I keep for when Arnold's at his yearly bath, scraped all the barnacle off his tackle.

Well, I'm wearing naught but that. This is gonna sound horrible. There was this big old octopus. And he growled me out. Oh, this little octopus fella played with my paps. He is being the fisherman's wife. Yep. This is the fisherman's wife intro.

And I love this there because like, I love your British woman accent, because she could be from anywhere. She could be from anywhere. She could be kind of from anywhere. Now you're not going to go flapping those big gums of yours about this, that old bitch down the road, are you? Oh, you know I am. Don't look now, Lucy. That octopus there just got poured out of that bucket on the floor there. That's him! That's him! I don't know those suckers anywhere.

Oh, good grief. Now that I think about it, I think he said his name was Ben. In between mouthfuls. Oh, here he comes! Oh, oh he comes. Oh, oh, oh, how do I look at all? Oh, hello you. Hello.

I'm the octopus from the dream that you, the fisherman's wife had. Am I the larger octopus or the smaller octopus? Oh, you're the big one. Definitely. Yeah. So you, you were, BAPS or where was the other guy? Sorry, I missed it. I only heard BAPS. The little guy's on the BAPS. Yeah. Yeah. Where's were at BAPS or where was the other guy? Sorry, I missed it. I only heard BAPS.

Little guys on the BAPS. Yeah. Where's the big guy? He's on the puss. On the hoister. On the plan. And you know what? We haven't done that one before.

Somehow we've never done it first. You remember if we did? Yeah, I recall. We've got to have done something. It's got to have come up in intro before because it comes up in probably every like five or six episodes. Yeah. And if you don't know what we're talking about, learn more about the fucking arts, you stem

lord freakazoid. Get off your freaking computer and go read some art books at the library. Yes, listen to more podcasts. Get off your computer for once. Yes. Yes. Put your headphones in and go for a walk. For Christ's sake.

Yes. Hey, I bet if this was the first episode of this podcast that you'd heard and you heard that intro, you might say, what the? We talk about stuff that's a little kooky in a segment that we call, what the? Right Right now though, it's What The! Just new? Yeah, you missed the debut of What The because you were around last week.

This comes to us from KFLY in Lafayette, Louisiana. Woman allegedly drove kids around Acadiana to destroy snowmen. Cool. Sure my mom did that. All right. Yeah. Sounds like a great day. So I think a crucial bit of information this is, uh, Louisiana got a shitload of snow.

Oh, in Louisiana. It was, it was snowing in Norlands. Isn't that fucking crazy? And that seems good. That seems normal, right was snowing in Norlands. Isn't that fucking crazy? And that seems good. That seems normal, right? We live in crazy times. We do. The recent snowfall allowed families in Acadiana a once in a lifetime opportunity

to build a snowman in their yards. It's probably not going to be once in a lifetime because like these extreme crazy. I think this has probably happened more than once. Yeah. Like it's just going to, you're going to be getting storms, the likes of which you've never seen before and weather the likes of which you've never seen before. Yeah. Melbourne's going to have some normal weather for once.

Yeah. Yes. It's going to be crazy. That'd be insane. One season in one day. Hey, I waited five minutes and it's still the same. Another family took the opportunity to go around destroying them. Yeah.

How is one more valid than the other? You know? Yes. Yeah. Like once in a lifetime, both of them. So that's special. Yeah. They're never going to get the opportunity apparently to go around smashing up snowmen

in Louisiana again. Yeah. And destruction is kind of a form of. Yeah and destruction is kind of a form of creation. Destruction is kind of a form of creation. I'm always saying this. It's why they burnt the money. It was ironic right? Exactly it's why they burnt the money. According to the Facebook group What's Going On in Acadiana, that's what's with a Z, going on in Acadiana. That's Watts with a Z. A woman whom KLFY chooses not to name, her name on Facebook is Tiffany Beauchesienne because Butvista chooses to name her. This is actually foreshadowing to anyone listening to this who speaks French. She drove her kids

around to local homes to tear down snowmen, recorded them, and then posted the videos to social media. For what purpose? She's posting reels of them just like taking baseball bats to the snowmen. She's like, well, her and her kids taking baseball bats to the snowmen, which is, you know, all the good fun. The woman has since taken down the photos, but the group has posted screenshots.

They can be found here, and they've hyperlinked off to the Facebook group. So they didn't want to name her, but they did link off to the community Facebook group, where she's been outed for doing it. And you can get photos of her and her children there. Yes, that's right. Now I had a look at that Facebook group,

because I'm a messy bitch and I love gossip, that's right. Now I had a look at that Facebook group, because I'm, you know, I'm a messy bitch and I love gossip, I love drama. Uh, it turns out she was, she's sort of a known figure in the area for a few reasons. Now I'm not going to, I'm not going to read the specific accusations that people made about her because they're defamatory and I don't want us to run a foul of any sort of legal stuff. And I'm not a lawyer, but I think we might be in the clear to just read her rebuttal because it's not defamatory if we're just reading her own words. So these are some things that she said in the Facebook group. So let's recap.

You lied and said my kids were known as troublemakers at school when they've actually been homeschooled. You lied and said my dad from high places gets me out of trouble when actually I've never met my dad. Oh, these are some great little one, two punches. You lied and said we were vandalizing property when the kids were actually involved in a prank war. Oh, it's just a prank war. Yeah, it was a prank war. It's a prank war. Oh, it's just a prank war. Yeah, it was a prank war.

It's a prank war, bro. Yeah, prank war as hell. You lied and said my son had a weapon when it's just a BB gun. Oh my god. Like I don't know why anyone believes anything that comes rolling out of your mouth. So yeah, you tell her. Yeah, you tell him, sister. You tell that seditious bitch. And one more here.

Before you spread defamation of character, why don't you elaborate on my breeding ethics? Now, you might be wondering. Hell yes. What the fuck is she talking about? What does that mean? We're wading in. Now, when I said Bo-Shi-An was her, the surname on Facebook before, I said that specifically because it's not her actual surname, it's just the one she has on Facebook because that's

the name of her business. Bo Xian, good dog, because she owns a dog breeding kennel. Oh, so not her breeding ethics, her breeding ethics. Oh, her breeding ethics. Oh, her breeding ethics. I thought- Her ethics when it comes to breeding. People were saying she had like bad baby daddies. Yeah. Yep.

Me too, yeah. Turns out her baby daddies are dogs. Those are just her babies, I think. So she breeds dogs and they are all the extremely fucked XL bullies that are on those, those posters where it's like one part blipo, one part blap. Yep. Has given us blabbo and then it's just the most fucked looking dog you've ever seen. Uh, yeah, all of them look absolutely nuts and she's selling them for like

three grand a pop on her Instagram. It's just fucking wild. They're all those, um, they're just the procession of faces from that video. From the thing that you showed me, the black and white thing, um, by the guy. Yeah. You are talking about thinking of, uh, the song from stingray Sam stingray, Sam, and it is a bunch of Photoshopped faces of combinations of men's names with different parts of those men's

Chefs outfits. Yeah for some reason. Yeah We'll put that as the outro It's got some I don't know if the gender politics of the song really they've dated a little bit, but I It's you know, it's a catchy song. Yeah. Uh, so yeah, she breeds fucked up XL bullies. Uh, I was looking at a bunch of photos and they're no good. I thought I would just read one caption. Uh, she posted describing one of the dogs that she was selling.

She writes this boy's as wide as he is tall produced right here and throwing his look consistently. This bloodline won't water down on you. I promise you that. Oh my God. You say all the bad things. All the, all the. You're saying he's a chode?

You got a, you got a chode on you? You got a chode on your hands. He looks fucking nasty. This woman is very crazy. Also the, all the people that tried to re to rebut her claim that it was a prank war, because she was like, most of the people that happened to didn't know who you were and their kids didn't know your kids. Just prank war.

Just came into their yard and started destroying their snowman. Put that up on Reels. I also love that the US also clearly has this particular style of Bogan that thinks that they're going to get rich from like breeding staffies. They've just decided one day it's like, I'm just going to, I'm going to breed the worst dogs and then they're going to fill the dogs home and I'm going to get rich from that. And then I don't have to work my fucking shitty job anymore.

Cause all I do is just combine. I breed toddler killers. Yeah. I bring, I take my, my ladle and I scoop the bottom of the genetic pool and any sludge that sticks to it, I sell for $3,000 a pop. Yeah. I've spent my afternoon mashing Togo and Bungus together in the hopes that they produce Bungus.

Yeah. Come on, Bungus. Got a favorite this week. I need you, Bungus. Why does he use Togo? When a lion's not going to breed anymore, you can tell because their muscles get too tight and all their bones snap under pressure. Oh, like putting a blob fish on land.

What about a nice dog? What about like a regular dog? What about a dog? What about a border collie? Normal. Mutt. And if a border collie? Normal mutt. And if a border collie is too big, you get one of the little ones. Yeah.

Maybe a schnauzer. Not a mini, like an in-between schnauzer. Just get something where like, if someone asks you what breed your dog is, you have to go, what? We could not tell you. What breed isn't he is the question you should be asking. Yeah. Yes. And you get to say that 20 times a day. I have to find so many different ways to say he's all of them.

He is every dog. I got asked three times today and it is barely past midday. So it's nice though. People like talking about dogs. Hey, Snow, that doesn't really belong in the region of Lafayette, Louisiana, but it is regional. It's time for regional bullshit. Man, that's a long tale. This comes to us from KARE in Minnesota. Minnesota's favorite ice fishing extravaganza back for 35th year. Woo.

Pretty exciting. Okay. The Brainerd JC's ice fishing extravaganza on Gull Lake is celebrating its 35th annual tournament, which organizes guarantee to be off the hook. Ooh. Oh, like a fishing hook. Yeah, like a fishing hook, but also it's going to fucking pop off. On the hook.

Yeah, on the hook. Yeah. Up in Brainerd? Up in Brainerd. Oh, Brainerd? Near Brainerd. I don't think it's in Brainerd. I think it's outside of Brainerd because it's sort of crucially in the middle of a

lake and I think Brainerd is on land. It's on land. Oh, so it's J.C.'s in Brainerd. Yeah. Ice fishing extravaganza on Gull Lake. Yeah. Brainerd, JC's, Brainerd adjacent ice fishing extravaganza. In a statement Friday, the group announced a permit has been secured to hold the

tournament on Gull Lake's Hole in the Day Bay on Saturday, February 1st. Pretty cool. You got a hole in your lake? In the Day Bay. Gull Lake's Hole in the Day Bay. In the Day Bay? Goll Lake's Hole in the Day Bay. Goll Lake's Hole in the Day Bay. Quote, we're thrilled to see this iconic event return for its 35th year and appreciate the cooperation of the Crow Wing County Sheriff's Office in ensuring the safety of our participants,

said the chairman, Mike Cuck. No. That's Cuck with a K at the start and also a K at the end. K at the end. Yeah. It betwixt two Ks. Yeah. A cuck betwixt two Ks.

The yearly contest draws in thousands of anglers across all skill levels, each eligible to win nearly $350,000 in prizes. There's big money out on that ice. That's a lot of money. Oh, out on the hole? Out on the hole. Making big money out on the hole. Yeah.

According to The JCs, so the JCs is J-A-Y-C-E-E-S. What is that? Is this an organization of some kind? What is that? I thought it was like a Bucky's. Yeah. I'm just making it up in my head. The United States Junior Chamber?

Oh. A civic organization. Oh, is it like Scouts? Is it like Cub Scouts? What is this? It's not like... They got all sorts of shit out there, don't they? A worldwide community of young active citizens aged 18 to 40.

That sounds really cringe actually. 18 to 40? Sounds really cringe. 18 to 40? Yeah, young. They expanded to include women after the Supreme Court ruled that they had to in 1984. Awesome. Well, that was ages ago. So, is it like people that like volunteer for like the chamber of commerce of a

township, but they're like, like a rotary. It sounds just kind of like a club for nerds. Yeah, it sounds like a club for nerds. A lion's club. Yeah. Never really understood what the lion's club does or is really. Yeah. Or a rotary club.

Or a rotary. Rotary like that. Because they've got that one road down in like South Queensland that crosses the border into New South Wales. They own the road. They, they like got it built and there's a, there's a plaque on it. There that's like, we built this road or we paid for it or something. Occasionally you'll see parks that are like, Hey, this is a rotary park.

There's a rotary park. Yeah. Okay. I don't know. Yeah. Doesn't look like it's gone round at all to me. According to the JCs officials confirmed over 24 inches of ice has formed across It doesn't look like it's going around at all to me. According to the JCs, officials confirmed over 24 inches of ice has formed across the

tournament area, which has been moved closer to shore this year in order to avoid ice heaving over the previous site. Quote, we encourage everyone to come out and enjoy the day, but we also want to remind all attendees to respect the ice and follow all safety guidelines. Due to minimal snow, we highly recommend ice cleats this year, Cuck said. That's just, it's a beautiful phrase. The tournament begins at noon and continues until 3pm. So I bet after 3pm it gets rowdy out there, right? Holes closed.

Oh yeah. I bet that's when it like really kicks off. Like the tournament's the excuse, but it's the party. I bet that you're tailgating out there or something, right? Yeah. Well, cause you build like shelters for ice fishing, right? You make sort of like a little, we say igloo still? I don't know.

We'll find out later. I'll find out in the comments. Yeah. Yeah. And if I beeped it out, don't try and guess what the thing is. Don't guess. Don't just list slurs in the discord. Don't do that this time. It's not a prompt It's none of those

Should probably beep those Anglers interested in securing their tickets can buy them ahead online or at various Brainerd area outlets. You can also reel them in at the contest site the day of. So who's ready to rip some lips, hook a hog, bait a bull, or slay some slabs? I think I'm ready to hook a hog. I'm not about the others. I'm ready to hook a hog and slay some slabs. Yeah, okay.

Don't know about the other two. Ripping some lips is disgusting. It's a gross way to describe it. Mike Cuck wants you to bait a bull? Mike Cuck wants you to bait a bull? How interesting. Start shaping up your shack and visit the tournament's website here. They do build... Okay. They've got shacks. Okay. They've got little shacks.

Let's say a shack maybe. They've got got shacks. Yeah, okay. They got little shacks. Let's say a shack maybe, yeah. They got hole shacks. Yeah. And you check if it's good by doing a hole shack test. Yeah. Hey, you wanna come into a shack, share my hole? Yeah.

I'll be baiting a bull in my shack. So, that's it. That's the whole story. Yeah, it's Mike Cuck. I just wanted to be there, because some part of it sounded silly. It was really just Mike Cuck. Hey, Mike Cuck, I bet he has a lot of interesting conversations because of his name. We have some interesting conversations in Paging Dr. Lucy. This episode is from r slash swingers. It's a cracked door. the new upside down pineapple.

So I don't know if you guys saw this, but all of the sort of swinging news websites and cruise websites came together because in a like casual interview setting, someone asked like the CEO of Carnival Cruises, how do you feel about the, um, like people with an upside down pineapple? And he just sort of set a blanket like, Oh, you're not allowed to put stuff on your door. Oh, is that all it was? And then everyone was like, they're banning the upside down pineapple. So he pulled his shirt down and there was an upside down pineapple with a cross through

it. And he says, see this, you know what this means? It means you are very welcome. And so is your wife. Like title States, I'm currently on my first carnival cruise and I remember them banning the upside down pineapple. As I'm walking down several highways, I noticed a lot more, a lot of doors cracked open, maybe signaling something.

I don't know. highways I noticed a lot more a lot of doors cracked open maybe signaling something I don't know yeah I don't think this one's a little more open to interpretation like I accidentally leave my door slightly cracked open because I like oh just going back for going back for my sunglasses going back for something yeah someone pokes their head in and like oh my husband doesn't have the key I'll just leave it open like hey buddy And someone pokes their head in and be like, Oh, my husband doesn't have the key. I'll just leave it open. Like, Hey buddy, come here to fuck your wife.

I'm here to fuck your wife and you, and you can fuck my wife. You can fuck my wife. And I understand that if you're a swing is like, you just walk down and look for a door. Like you're just looking for a pineapple door and you just go in. Yeah. You're sort of patrolling the hallways. I don't think you just like barge in, but I do think that's like an invitation for you to be like, because how else are you going to meet them? You're not going to be

like, okay, that was room 302. So the next time I go to the dining area, I'll just go around yelling out room 302. Yeah. Room 302. Anyone in here? Room 302. I would like to fuck your wife. You can't just budge in. It is polite to knock and also to bring Katarn, at the very least. Yes. Bring the board game with you. Be like, oh I have Samurai Pizza Cat- no that was a TV show. Exploding Kittens. Yes. I have all the games made by- Cat, Cat, Pizza. Yeah.

You know what's been slept on? Not this bed for starters, but also Kaka Song. Yes. I've got it here and also I'm gonna fuck you and your wife. I think the four of us should play three quarters of a game of Kaka Song and then uh, get sloppy. Do swingers ever just play like Battleship? Do you think Battleship's big in the Swinger community? I think you would get like fucking laughed out of the room. Like if you played anything that had like an ages eight and up badge on it, they'd be like get the fuck out You're not touching my wife anymore. And you know what? I

Do actually still want to fuck you or wife though, but I'm gonna tee that up later Just the two of us. I don't really want you here But I'll be bringing Tokyo Highway because I put some actual work into research Yeah, I'm gonna show you what a real board game is. You got four hours You're gonna want to watch this one hour YouTube video before we start, or you're going to be completely lost even if I explain the rules to you. Yeah. First of all, do you know what the word terraforming is?

I think it's great that there's this whole underground network of people for whom the cruise ship is just a subtext for something else entirely. That like 90% of the people on there are just like, wow, wouldn't it be fun to spend some time on a boat and see some tropical islands and swim in a pool or drink some cocktails? And the rest of them, they are just professional wife fuckers. Yeah, that's all that they're there for. But also they hold dear their right to make their bedrooms and their, uh, the other bedrooms, whatever you want to call them, uh, stink like a crime scene as well, right? Like they can't, the cleaners walk in and they just like puke.

The first day. Yeah, it's so weird that it's like the amount of outrage about the upside down pineapple thing was so funny. Where you're on a cruise with a ton of families and stuff. The point of this boat is not the fucking community. Just because you guys have made it one. Because it is, in their defense, it's a very natural fit. It's kind of like a perfect fit.

That like, swinging, yeah. Like it's just sort of, it's all there. And a lot of the same sort of personalities in both communities. It is a personality fit, isn't it? It's sort of more, it's not like a, I mean, there's logistics to it that work, but it's the feel of it, isn't it? Yes. Yeah.

Like the vibe, like whenever we see stuff on like, whenever I'm reading stuff on those carnival blogs or whatever, they have the same sort of mindset as the swinger in a way that I can't pin down. There's a similar sort of sensibility there. Yeah. Just kind of like the same spirit, the same soul. They use the word lifestyle in a way that- Yes.

They both use the word lifestyle. Yeah. Yeah. In the cruising lifestyle. Oh, are you in the cruising lifestyle or the cruising lifestyle? I think you're like really? Yes I am. Hey, if you didn't want to be around a bunch of middle-aged swingers, avoid cruise ships.

Maybe take a plane. We talk about planes in plainly speaking. Uh, this is your captain speaking. Please return your seats to their upright positions as we are coming in hot on another edition of plainly speaking. We are blasting through these because Andrew is on holidays. Yeah. Oh, can I tell you, it's not a rambling personal anecdote, but it will help pad out some time. You got an anecdote?

Yeah, I got an anecdote. So last night I was at the bar in the afternoon, did a little bit of work, hanging out with some people. I'm sitting down, having a beer. I'm not proper working, so I'm not wearing like clothes and shoes or anything. I'm just a regular man in thongs and shorts sitting down with his dog. And I noticed there's a guy sitting kind of near us

who has taken one of our posters off the wall and has folded it up, put it in his dog. And I noticed there's a guy sitting kind of near us who has taken one of our posters off the wall and has folded it up, put it in his backpack. Like middle-aged guy sitting with another middle-aged guy, probably in their like late 40s, early 50s maybe. And usually I'm like, ah, whatever, I get a ton of these printed out. But it's for an event that we've got coming up. And I spent ages on the posters and only got two of each variety of the poster done. I wanted them all, all throughout the bar. And I'm like, oh, I'm not really working. I shouldn't say anything. It's not really worth it. They cost like four bucks to get printed each or whatever. I'm like, who cares? I'm like, nah, fuck it. I'm going to go over and say something. So I go over to the man that's taking the poster down and I was just being like, oh, hey, just so you know, it's, we actually kind of need those up in the wall.

I'd prefer if you didn't do that. And then before he can talk, the other guy that he's sitting with sort of like interjects and he's like, oh, one of the bartenders said that we could. I was like, oh, well, that's interesting. Who? Because they wouldn't have. Because they know that we need them. And then he was like, oh, they said that we could have one when it's done.

I'm like, all right, well, it's in late February. So that's not right now. He's like, oh, we're just messing around. It's like, oh, I thought you said you could have it. I thought you said you could have it. Yeah. Don't really understand what you mean by that. And like, I'm still sort of trying to talk to the guy who did it.

I'm trying to say to him, look, you can keep it just in future. Just ask, please. But the other guy keeps interrupting me and he's like, are you one of the owners here? I'm like, no, I'm just manager. And he's like, uh, well, yeah, I'm a member of the clergy. Sorry. What is happening here? Pardon?

This man is a dog. I was like, well, sorry. And he's like, oh, I'm yeah, I'm actually like, I'm a member of the clergy. I have a business card around here. I'm like, no, no, no, look, that's all right. You keep the poster. And he's, he's other mates already like putting it back up sort of wordlessly putting it back on the wall, big fold mark in the middle.

And I'm like, no, like, it's fine. He's like, yeah, no, you know, like I've been coming here for a really long time. And I'm like, yeah, member of the church, you know, I'm a priest. Let me see if I can find a business card. I'm like, no, that's fine. Like he's gone through his wallet and he can't find one. Then he starts going through his backpack and I'm like, it doesn't matter. He's like, yeah, you know, there used to be someone that worked here that was a theologian.

I was like, yep, there was. That is true. Like 10 years ago, we had a guy that worked here, blah, blah. He's sort of talking at me, not really responding to the things that I'm saying. I thought he was just a drunk guy taking the piss. I'm like, what parish? And he's like, St. Michael's or something. I don't know. And I was like, Catholic. And he's like, Oh, are you Catholic? No, Protestant, raised Baptist, blah, blah, blah. And he's like, Oh, that's nice. And then he's like, aha, found it. And then he flips open a little like leather, not like a wallet thing.

It's just got like, it's just a wallet without really places to hold cards, except for one card. And then on the other side, it's a police badge. And he's like, yep, no, I'm a, I'm a QPS chaplain. I'm a chaplain for the Queensland Police Service. And I'm like, what? Yeah. Just, you know, just letting you know, I really love this place. It's, you know, really good for, you know, both for the clergy and for police. And, you know, we love that about it.

I'm like, what? What is happening? Yeah. Oh, I'm just like, I don't know. What the fuck's going on here? And I was like, yep. All right. Just, you know, in future, you know, and he's like,

oh, and we can take one of the posts when it's done. I'm like, yeah, if you come back in like the end of February, you can have one. And I've gone to enjoy my beer. Then the two guys had just left. This guy tried to flash his badge to get his friend. To like intimidate you into letting them have the post, which you already said he could have. Well, you wouldn't even let me tell him he could have it, and they didn't take it in the end.

After lying about the situation. Yeah. How very odd. For some reason, it didn't make sense for him to be like a member of the clergy until... Until he's a cop. He's a cop clergy? Yeah. Oh, he's a cop priest.

So he's a police cop. He lies instinctually. Yeah. And he tried to wriggle out of stealing a four dollar poster Like doing a really subtle like oh, I'll just I'll just show you my clergy business Open it up. He was fucking looking for it for so long as well. I'm just like what? What are you telling me with your words? He was so

Always this is an interaction that happens in like act two. And I'm very sorry, but in act three, you are murdered by this man. Oh, he's right now. He's waiting for me to finish this recording and he's dressed up like the fucking the end of the departed, just ready to shoot me. You walk out of the caregroom and you just get donked immediately. Shot straight in the head with like two seconds to realize what's happening and then just gone.

It's fucking surreal. Camera moves to a shot of rats. But like the weird thing was that like the bartender he was talking about that he used to come in and talk to, it was like a real, real early day scratch. So this guy's like, it's not like this was his first time he'd ever been in the bar and he was just trying to weasel his way out of something. Like he'd clearly been coming here for a long time. It was just so odd. Hey, if you're super odd like that, try a different way of being.

You should probably keep your head on a swivel, Ben. Watch your suits. Yeah, he's coming for me. This is from Australian Aviation Magazine. Virgin loses second appeal against reinstating sacked crew member. I'm so sorry to hear that, Ben. Yeah, it's Virgin Airlines. But what if it wasn't?

What if it was just about a guy who's a virgin? He'd never fucked. He lost his appeal. Second appeal. Come on! Please! Come on! You sure?

And we can keep riffing on that. It's my birthday. Virgin Australia has lost another appeal against the Fair Work Commission's reinstatement of former cabin crew member Dylan McNish, who allegedly broke the airline's alcohol policy. McNish was fired after facing a litany of allegations from his employer. The key accusation was that McNish broke Virgin's quote, eight hour rule set out in the airline's A4 manual. This rule states that the cabin crew should abstain from alcohol for a minimum of eight hours before commencing duty.

So hard. You can't get drunk before work. But there's bars everywhere at the airport. It's a trap, isn't it? And like good bars now. Melbourne's got like, they got Stump and Ground, they got a bunch of other breweries there. The Brisbane's got Newstead. I got good beer at the airport now, it's dangerous.

McNish was dismissed after he consumed one glass of Prosecco at a work Christmas party for Virgin before 2.30pm on Sunday, 17th December, 2023. That is a dog act. And then later signed up for a red-eye flight, meaning his shift commenced approximately seven and a half hours later. Oh. That's fucked up. You dogs. Later signed up for the shift as well.

Yeah. He's doing you a favour. That's your Christmas party. That's rough. That's real rough. Yes. One glass of Prosecco. Free my man Dylan.

Yeah. Prosecco is like barely alcoholic. Prosecco is barely alcoholic. Prosecco doesn't count. You can't get drunk on prosecco. Your body metabolises it faster than you could drink it. It's got sugar in it. It keeps you going.

Other allegations were brought forward by Virgin against McNish in an attempt to warrant his dismissal. Commissioner Pearl Lim, who oversaw McNish's dismissal case, broke the allegations down one by one and lab labeled some as mystifying. One of the allegations was that McNish fabricated his need to access Virgin's fatigue risk management system. So this is that like, if you worry that you are too fatigued to work effectively or safely. You can say, hey, look, I need to flag myself for this.

I don't think I can do this. That's their thing there. After a work shift that involved a medical incident, McNish claimed that he was extremely fatigued and opted to remove himself from the roster for his shift the following morning. Fair enough. He's had a horrible fucking day. There was a medical incident on the floor. Medical incident. He doesn't want to jeopardize the lives of other people by being fatigued

and then working again, right? Safety first. After contacting the support team to change his shift, McNish decided to use the Grindr app to meet someone for casual sex. In his evidence presented to Lim, he explained that having a physical interaction with someone would help him fall asleep. Makes sense. Yeah. Fucking checks out. That checks out. Okay. He's had a horrible fucking day. He needs a good night's sleep. Also, you can have grinder sex. That's different from operating the safety slide or something.

I don't think those are comfortable situations. Different muscles. Yeah. Magnish met with the individual, they went to his hotel room, they had intercourse, and then he fell asleep shortly after. So it worked. There we go. Perfect plan. Yeah. Good.

Plus it got his nut milked. Don't call it that. Virgin, however, became aware of this by accessing security footage with timestamps of the interaction, alleging that McNish was lying about being fatigued. What? That's psycho. That's fucking insane. Security footage of him like using Grindr or going to the hotel?

Like what if he'd like, what if this was a heterosexual man and he was like, Hey, I had a really horrible day at work to his wife. Yeah. And then just looking for some comfort right now. I'm going to milk your nut and then you're going to have a good sleep. Yep. And then you're going to like, and you're going to be right back at them. You're going to wake up tomorrow feeling super refreshed and you're going to be

ready to get back on the rest of the day after. That takes like six to eight minutes compared to like an eight hour shift. Yeah. Three to four minutes. Three to four minutes. Three minutes. Including the small talk with the guy that you're meeting for the first time. So you're an air hostess, huh?

We don't call it that. Well, shall we? So someone's like out to get this guy, hey? Like someone fucking hates this guy. Okay. I don't want to, you know, it's 2025. We're all modern progressive people. I don't want to fall into stereotypes. I don't want to, I don't want to say anything to get us in trouble. I just do think that maybe if your organisation is largely women and gay men. That there's going to be some, uh, some drama. There's going to be some really vindictive evil behaviour.

Oh yeah, a thousand percent. From people who are really good. It's girls and gays. And it's girls and gays who all hate each other. Yeah, because they spend so much time together. They spend all that time on like a cramped flight. Do you think? That like they kind of the, whoever the manager that raised this was to be like he's checking his watch or her watch, right. And going like, you know, I've got him.

I've got, I've finally nailed him. They put it in to fire this guy under this rule and then realised, hang on seven and a half hours, one glass of Prosecco at our work function, this might not actually do the trick. Might not quite make a case. This might not actually be the nail in the coffin that me specifically I'm looking for. You know, like I have nothing to back this up whatsoever, but I think definitely looking for. You know, like I have nothing to back this up whatsoever, but I think definitely Shift

Supervisor, the sort of the senior flight attendant. Yep. One of his exes. Oh yeah. And they fucking hate each other and he is just waving. Virgin's got the mean gaze too. Yes. Jetstar's got the really nice twinks.

Quantus has the elder, like sort of closeted gaze. I love the elder closeted gaze they have on Quantus. Same, they're super nice. They're part of a different generation. It's like a guy closeted gaze they have on Qantas. It's amazing. It's like a guy that's worked there for like 40 years. They're from a different generation. And then Virgin's got kind of the mean gaze. Yeah.

They're not hurrying you, are they? Yeah. On the Qantas fly. Ultimately, looking over all the evidence, Lim found that McNish's dismissal was unfair and ordered Virgin Australia to reinstate Magnish by reappointing him to the position in which he was originally employed. You just imagine.

Imagine him walking in the day. Oh my God. Walking back onto that plane, putting his little bag down, being like, hey girls. Yeah, I'm back. It's me again. How are we all? Are you doing well? Are you guys thriving?

You look great. It's so good to see you. Your hair looks great today. Did you have something, there's something different in your face? Something's changed. Have you been, no, you wouldn't have, you wouldn't have got work done, would you? No, they did a great job. That'd be a horrible flight.

You'd hate to be caught in the crossfire. All the flight attendants are all fucking mad at each other. Little barbs flying everywhere. Throwing barbs back and forth over the trolley. You take too long to say whether you want tea or coffee and you're getting the iciest stare you've ever received in your entire fucking life. Virgin, however, applied for a second appeal to the Fair Work Commission. This appeal was granted. The findings of the Fair Work Commission when conducting the appeal was incredibly similar to the findings of Lib.

In fact, Deputy President Tony Saunders, Deputy President Tony Slevin and Gibyan. I think I have one name. Just one name? Gibyan Mononymous? Gibyan Mononymous Gibyan? Who reviewed the appeal stated that quote, Virgin has not come close to convincing us that the decision to reinstate McNish is unreasonable or plainly unjust. Fuck yeah, Fair Work Commission. Thank you.

You are an ally. Yeah, eat shit. After reviewing the circumstances of the alleged alcohol breach, which included, so these are the mitigating circumstances. McNish was well regarded by cabin crew managers. Okay. Okay. Probably not all of them, not like the exes.

They probably showed like solidarity against their own, I guess, sometimes maybe with their own. McNish genuinely and reasonably understood that the eight hour rule was a guideline. That's kind of fair. That makes sense. It's probably not hard to pass. For seven and a half hours, you'd be like, meh. Like if the plane's late to taxi. You've had one glass, it's fine.

McNish took reasonable steps to ensure he was not breaching Virgin's drug and alcohol policies prior to signing on for duty on 17th of December, 2023. The steps included disclosing his consumption of the glass of Prosecco to the cabin crew manager, checking the DAMP manual, D-A-M-P. Yeah. Not sure about that one. And using a home breathalyzer. So like fucking unbelievable due diligence.

This guy takes his job seriously. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. And McNish was remorseful and demonstrated contrition once he found out he had breached a policy. So he checked if it was okay. He made sure he was okay.

He wasn't still drunk from one glass of Prosecco seven and a half hours earlier. It doesn't count. Prosecco doesn't count as alcohol. Basically like water. It doesn't get you drunk. It's fine. You can have like eight of them at breakfast. You can have eight Prosecco.

That's not a problem. Gibian Saunders and Slevin found that, quote, it was open to the commissioner to order reinstatement, notwithstanding that McNish had breached the eight hour rule. The outcome was not manifestly unreasonable or plainly unjust. The appeal was subsequently dismissed with the trio citing that there was no error in the commissioner's approach to the question of reinstatement. Good. What an insane effort to go to to try to get this guy fired. These things take an extremely

long time. Man, I always think about what that work environment has to be like coming back knowing that not only does at least one manager have it out for you, but the corporate office fucking hates you because they have spent- Yeah, they want you fucking gone. They've spent probably like a hundred grand on legal fees. Yeah, you'd spend a fortune on this. On keeping you fired.

And now they probably have to like reimburse him for some of his costs or something, right? Like- Oh yeah, probably. And then now he just waltzes in and he's like, Hey guys, try and fire me again. I fucking dare you to fire me again. I dare you. See what happens.

I'm going to drink seven Prosecco's before this flight. I've got Gibby and Saunders and Slevin on my side. Who the fuck have you got? No one. Hey, if they had fired him and he'd stayed fired, that would have been a crime. It's time for Crime Watch. Please put down your weapon. You are in direct violation of Code 113, Section 9. You now have five seconds to fly. Help me! Help me! Help me! This is from WHTM in Pennsylvania. Man wanted for stealing crown worth $30,000 from Pennsylvania church. What are you doing with that crown? Why have you got that crown on?

Yeah. I mean, why did the church have it? What have you got it for? Yeah. You definitely wear it for a while. Like you, before you took it to the black market, to your fence. Oh, you put it on. You're taking a few pics, few selfies. Yeah. That's how you get caught. Because how would you resist the urge?

Oh, you've got to take a little picture. You look so good. You look like straight up royalty. You steal a $30,000 crown, you tell nobody. You take that to your grave. You don't tell nobody that you're not prepared to kill. Yeah. Yeah. You take that crown. Philadelphia police are asking for the public's help in identifying the man who stole a $30,000 crown from the St. John the Evangelist Catholic Church on 21st Street. First of all, no.

Second of all, you're not using it. Yeah. What were you doing with it? I don't want this to be like a Richard Dawkinsy type thing here, but like, you know how much like soup and like blankets and like temporary accommodation or whatever you could do with a $30,000 that you've got tied up currently in a crown? I'm looking at the crown. It's honestly, it's not that impressive.

I bet it looks stupid. It's not that good? I didn't actually look at the crown. That's fine. It's like gold with some like red gems on it. Like it's not the craziest crown I've ever seen. It's not that good? I didn't actually look at the crown. That's fine. It's like gold with some like red gems on it. Like it's not the craziest crown I've ever seen. It's fine. I was kind of hoping it had a lot of gems on there. Because that's like the classic crown, right?

Like a small amount of gems. Not that impressive. Pennsylvania parish, frankly, your crown mid. Yeah, crown's mid. Crown low key fell off. It's not bad. So it was on a statue of Mary. Yeah. What's Mary doing wearing a crown? She doesn't need that. She doesn't need that. Yeah.

Very fucking weird, but it's got to feel good for a little while while you've got it at home. It's like watching Netflix. Got your crown on. Wearing your crown. $30,000 crown on the top of your head. Yeah. Police say the man broke a stained glass window on January 11th, 2025 at approximately 1 04 AM and stole a gold crown adorned with gems, which is worth approximately $30,000

from the head of the Mary statue inside the church. The man was captured on surveillance video and was seen wearing a face mask, black jacket, gray pants and red or pink sneakers. I mean, now he's probably wearing a crown. So they should probably add that bit of information. In a sketch, yeah. Spectacular crown. Spectacular-ish crown.

Guy wearing kind of okay, $30,000 crown. Go get it. It seems unchristian to be hoarding jewels, right? I feel like there's some stuff in the Bible about not doing that. Yeah. Yeah, we don't. That's, that's stuff. That's the stuff that's metaphorical. Yeah. That stuff's fake Yeah, we don't. That's that stuff. That's the stuff that's metaphorical.

Yeah. That stuff's fake. That stuff's fake. Take some of it literally. Not wearing clothes made out of mixed fibers, things of that nature. Yeah. No shellfish, no talking to women when they're on their period. All that sort of stuff that you need to take deadly seriously.

Are they the rest of it? Who fucking cares? Hey, this seems more European than it does American, even though it happened in America. Let's talk about something that is distinctly American in America Watch. This comes to us from W-I-N-K in Florida. The Wink. Wink. Sort of a bit of a parallel between these two stories actually. Interesting.

School burglars in Collier County make off with guns. That they stole from the school? Yeah, they stole from the school. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Guns from the school. Which is interesting because this is, maybe this is like a sort of a British

English verse American English thing, but in, um, in Australian or British English, when we say school, we mean like a place where like kids go to each or like writing and maths and stuff. Yeah, think of some things that are typical at a school. You're thinking, you're thinking books, pencils. Yeah, books and pencils. Those tiny little silly tables with the swing out. Texas Instruments calculators. Yes.

Yeah. The cubes, you guys are the little wooden cubes that you use for counting. Oh, the counting cubes. Yeah, we just got Finn some of them. He's not interested. Oh, the counting cubes. Yeah, we just got to fin some of them. He's not interested. Oh, I loved those cubes when I was a kid. Me too. I'd build like all kinds of things with them.

Yeah, they come back to look at them to hold. Now these kids have like Paw Patrol. Yeah. You can't, I actually don't think this is the first time that we've talked about how kids don't use the little wooden cubes anymore. Little wooden cubes? Back in my day, those things were like, man, you had to fight to get those cubes. Cubes come out.

They're on their apps. Yep. Once you've got an iPad, the allure of the cube is well and truly lost. Because now you've got Minecraft, which is a whole world made of cubes. Cubes are just falling off. But of course, with your imagination, you could make whole worlds out of those little wooden cubes. If you told that to a nine-year-old now, they'd call you mid.

They'd say, what the sigma? You say, get away from me, pedo. Ohio. The Collier County Sheriff's Office is asking for the public's help in identifying four people who broke into Golden State Middle School and stole a gun that was locked in a safe. Okay, you weren't using them. What's the crime? Yeah.

Someone out there sitting watching Netflix on their couch shooting the guns into the ceiling? Yeah, having the time of their life. The incident occurred early Wednesday. According to deputies, three males and one female dressed in black and wearing face coverings burglarized the school shortly after 2am. After breaking into the school, the suspects breached the locked Youth Relations Deputy office and then used a cutting device to defeat the lock on the gun safe inside the office. Cool.

I'm going to say straight up that my suspect are kids from the school. I think it's probably kids from the school who knew that like the fucking like bumbling school resource officer is always bragging about how he's got a gun in a safe. And they're like, should we just, we get like a battery powered, like fucking angle grinder. Can you imagine looking at his face when he doesn't have a gun in the safe anymore? Oh my God. Next day you get to go to school and be like, Oh, hey, where's your gun? Where's your gun?

Where's your gun, Bert? No, I don't have to call you sir. You're not a teacher here. You're a police officer. I really enjoy the concept of like just sorting things like, Oh, that doesn't belong there, we're going to forcefully restore things to their natural order. No guns in schools, no crowns on Mary. What else has all gone crazy?

Tops of turvy. Humanity is sort of taking care of itself at the moment a little bit, right? It's sort of trying to find a natural equilibrium. Yes. Yeah. Like the movie equilibrium. Like the movie equilibrium. That had guns in it.

Everything's connected. I think maybe if like someone just like, I dunno, use a gun that they stole from a school to like shoot Donald Trump like in the throat. Wearing the crown. Wearing the crown would probably be like a really good Trump. Sigma. Crown. Gun.

Sigma. Kill. Bath. Crown. Gun. Sigma. Kill. Bathysphere. Electron. Tube. Go nuts. I think we maybe just need like a couple more things to happen because it feels like we've

got a little bit of momentum at the moment. Like something's happening. I can feel it because again, we don't want to get political. It feels like Trump did a lot of really bad stuff in a really short amount of time. Right off the bat. Yeah. Like the Dems spent four years, well, the first two years going, oh, we can't do anything because blah, blah, blah.

And then I think Biden died halfway through or something. Yeah, he died. He pardoned his old family and then died. Yeah. Sort of died a spiritual death, I think. I think one of his dogs like- Just walking around like a hollow man. That's so funny that he was still president after quite recently. Yeah, but-

Yeah, like, and like technically his body was there, but it was all hollowed out on the inside, like how lizard men live under the like mantle of the earth. Yeah. But it's just for ants. Hollow Biden theory. Yeah. So someone should probably kill Trump.

Yeah. I saw a thing today about someone in America getting arrested for using a TikTok to make death threats against Trump. That's fun. But, uh, I think that was an 11 year old, was that the 11 year old boy? Now things are, this early reporting,

I don't want to mess it all up. I don't know, but I don't think we have extradition with America. The school in Illinois turned away. The feds. Yeah, that was cool. They turned ICE away. Was that the one or? No, well, it turns out it wasn't, it wasn't ICE.

It was a different federal department. It's the new reporting. And it'll change by the time that this is out as well. Yeah. And when I really like smart enough or informed enough to comment on it, but it's, it's fucking sucks. It's bad. And like, it's clear that like everyone in, uh, you know, ice and that sort of,

they just, they've just been waiting for this to go like, oh, okay. Well, we just do whatever. Hey, the last lot with the DEI and kind of, you know, woke tactics and stuff, they didn't let us crack skulls. But why we got the sticks for? Why do they give us the sticks if we're not allowed to crack skulls? I saw something today that, so Target and Walmart are both rolling back their like DEI policies. Yes.

Not Costco though. But yeah, Costco is keeping theirs. Yeah. Do we have to, there's a Stan Costco? Cause that doesn't sound right. I think we have to Stan Costco. Is Costco an ally? No.

Is Costco my friend? I think Costco might be my friend personally. Are Ben and Jerry's and Costco my friends? Do you reckon they're just like keeping, I think Ben and Jerry's might be our friends. No, they aren't our friends. But Costco, do you think they're just thinking like long money? They're like, people will remember if we flip them down and flip-flop later. Once the tide carries this all away?

Yeah, well like once the- Or the detritus of this sort of fascist uprising sort of gets swept out to sea. Well once the arc of the universe bends towards justice. Oh when it bends back towards justice. Because right now it's bending sort of away from justice but it's long. I think it's starting to bend towards justice. I don't know, yeah I mean it's certainly, it's long is all I'd say. Really long.

We're at the beginning of the curve. It's gotta be long. It's kind of an S shape I think because we sort of we've been away from, we came back and now we're bending away, but we will be coming back. The, the sine wave of the universe is infinitely long and it bends to and from justice. Yeah. Look to your left, look to your right.

If neither of those people are doing something, it's up to you to do something. Yeah. Kind of has to, someone has to do something. Like I'm just trying to imagine if we had like one absolutely psycho listener, let me finish I know we have tons, who like had access to firearms again, let me finish and was just like in America and ready to like do it. And then they did it. In Minecraft.

And they explicitly said. If they did it in Minecraft. In VR, Fortnite. And they did it. They like just fucking like Donald Trump bleeding out on the sidewalk surrounded by, you know, Secret Service guys going, what happened? What happened? You know, and then they said, Buena Vista sent me. I'm doing this because a podcast told me to. Would I feel bad?

Like, would I be like, man, a guy is dead because of something we said. I mean, I feel like my life would probably change in a few ways. I think our lives would probably become untenable. Like a regular day to day life. I think our lives would become horrific from that. Like a regular day-to-day life. I think our lives would become horrific from that. We'd probably get arrested for incitement of some kind for sure and then probably people would try and kill us.

We wouldn't get incited at anything and then they'd just play the tapes. They'd just play so many tapes. We've said it so many times. So many times, really explicitly. Yeah, and I still want to go to Alaska. I've never been there. But it's irony what we're doing. We're kind of trying to highlight the absurdity of something by taking it to its furthest extreme

to sort of lay bare the contradictions inherent in things that we're talking about. Plus I'd just really like for it to happen. So it's sort of a win-win. You wouldn't say no to it. Yeah. Like if it was offered. And I'm kind of just hoping that if eventually these do get screened or flagged in some way, they do it before I enter the United States. Like I'm just not allowed to go there and I'm not like thrown into like secret one tonne of mode 2.0 somewhere. Yeah.

Cause that kind of sucks. That'd be bad. Yeah. I'm not going to try it. Detective said the suspect stole a CCSO rifle. Is that a support officer? Something I think they're just talking about there. I'm familiar with CSGO rifles.

Yeah, you would be. Two magazines, ammunition from the safe and an unknown amount of cash and checks grabbed from other parts of the building. So, got a bit of money, got a cop's rifle. Got a gun, cop's gun, big money. And like multiple magazines of like, full of ammunition as well. So like, you're ready to go. Yeah. The CCSO incident report states that there was no forced

entry, which means it appears a first floor side door was left unlocked overnight. It's unclear why or how the door was unlocked. Oh, they thought ahead. They probably just like unlocked it on their way out of school. Yeah, and like left the thing in it, like jarring it like a piece of cardboard or something. Yeah, little piece of cardboard so the deadlock didn't go back over. I'm no detective, but like it it seems pretty, pretty obvious what happened. Yeah. Come dry really, but you never going to fucking catch them. What are you going to do?

Arrest all of them? Arrest everybody at the school? You can't arrest everybody. You can if you kind of just put the, put like bars in the school's windows. Just turn it into a prison around them. Just turn it into a prison. Guess what? School is prison.

School is prison. No one saw this coming. Deputies also note that this group is believed to be very familiar with the school campus as they knew exactly where the safe with the gun was located. Yeah, because fucking Bert, the school resource officer is always talking about how he's got a gun in his office. He's always talking to students about the gun in his office, asking if they want to see the gun in his office. What up Tyler? Do you know I have a rifle? It's awesome.

In other places they just get a Glock. Yeah. Can't drop it. Has he taken that into the toilets with him? With a rifle! Yeah, a rifle? Oh, you'll, well, you'll hear about this. Dr. David Thomas, a former police officer and professor of forensic studies at FGCU, said a school resource officer must have a rifle due to school shootings. This rifle is used to protect the students. Has that ever happened?

Has that ever happened? Has that ever fucking happened? Has that ever happened? You sickos. Your country is so sick. I need to get into the scum stuff again. My goodness. No, we've talked country is so sick. I need to get rid of the gun stuff again. My goodness.

No, we've talked about it so much. I know. But like, every time we hear that sentence, they're like, the gun's there to keep people safe or the school resource officer is there to keep people safe. It's because it's in the context of a story where someone has been endangered by the presence of it. By the gun that they keep in school. By the gun, because the gun is the dangerous thing. Quote, it's very necessary and it also allows them to be able to deal with it,

not at close range, but at a much further distance than you would ever be able to do, Thomas. That's not going to fucking happen. So there's a school shooter. You're taking the rifle up to the roof, presumably? Yes. You're going up to the highest point of the building. You're just picking off people.

Like, yeah. And you're just like, oh, I hope they come outside soon. Yep. A lot of, a lot of gunfire in there. Hearing a lot of gunfire. I'm, I'm ready. I'm ready. That rifle belongs to the school resource officer who is responsible

for making sure that gun is secured. We don't know what type of safe or how easy or hard it was to break. Well, a bunch of high school kids fucking did it. Yeah. So it's like high school student difficulty. And then you can't do anything. It's Tyler. Cause he kept showing him, he used, it's like taking the gun out of the

safe and being like, check this out. Do you want to hold it? It's my rifle. No, I'm not allowed to let you hold it. Nah, go on. I'll let you. No, you're not allowed. No, I'm not allowed to let you hold it. Nah, go on. I'll let you. No, you're not allowed. No, I'll let you.

You're not allowed. No, come on. Hey, you want to be here? Pop that shirt off. Neither the school district nor the sheriff's office would answer any questions about protocols on campus. They said they don't discuss matters related to school security. No, cause that might make them look stupid.

It might make them look bad. Yeah. It would be very embarrassing for you to be like, yeah, we take this very seriously. There's so many jobs like this where it's like, imagine you could just be like someone like you made just the stupidest stuff up possible at work, right? Like just a disastrous mistake. And they're like, Hey, you know, do you want to, we're going to talk about this. So I, oh, no, I don't really want to.

Cause that's kind of like, it's going to make me look stupid. So I choose not to. It's so good. No accountability. No, nothing. Just like, Oh no, no, we don't talk about that stuff. I'm not really into consequences. Why would we say the stuff that's about the thing that we fucked up?

That would be really awkward for me. I'm actually setting a personal boundary. Yeah. Yeah, holding space for not that. I'm holding space for losing my gun to a group of industrious teens. So get off my freaking case. Hey, that was definitely an episode of the podcast. Bunt of Vista.

Thank you so much for listening. If you want more of this bonus episodes, there's one every week for five US dollars a month. You have four extra episodes and rarely, I think sometimes five. Would it work out that way? Sometimes. No, there's no way we could release. No. Mathematically speaking.

No, we could. Couldn't we? Because it's at the start of every 28 day period. So if it goes, yeah, yeah, some months it's five episodes. That's a dollar an episode. So we'll just free you. Yeah. Unless you're paying in any other currency, then it's probably like a buck

30 an episode. And if you don't want to, don't, it's that easy. Uh, we will talk to you very soon. Please stay safe out there and just, you know, like if you've got the means and you know, you're ready to go down for a little bit, or maybe you're just kind of sick of life and you think maybe if the Secret Service did take you out afterwards, it's kind of like not that big a deal. It's kind of like, if you've already kind of given up on life, it's like, well,

maybe do what would it matter? Do like a ritualized sort of death ceremony before you leave your house, shave your body hair off, paint your entire body red and burn a couple of candles and some incense and say to yourself in this moment I have died and now that I'm already dead nothing can kill me nothing can stop me I have nothing kind of a mantra to repeat to yourself in the morning in the mirror every day yes I have nothing to lose I am already dead I am dead I am dead I am already dead. I am dead. I am dead. I am dead. We'll see you next week.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. I'm gonna be a good boy. I'm gonna be a good boy. I'm gonna be a good boy. I'm gonna be a good boy. I'm gonna be a good boy. I'm gonna be a good boy. I'm gonna be a good boy.

I'm gonna be a good boy. I'm gonna be a good boy. I'm gonna be a good boy. I'm gonna be a good boy. I'm gonna be a good boy. You can't see anything, you can't see anything You can't see anything, you can't see anything You can't see anything, you can't see anything You can't see anything, you can't see anything You can't see anything, you can't see anything

You can't see anything, you can't see anything You can't see anything, you can't see anything I'm just a little bit of a Thanks for watching!