Boonta Vista - EPISODE 396: To Catch A Beefalo

Episode Date: May 18, 2025

Lucy, Theo, Andrew, and Ben bring you: The thinning veil between reality and fantasy, the car of the future today, yesteryear's beefalo, and a duck repeating. *** Live show tickets available at boontavista.com/live *** Outro: Prototype - Outkast *** Support our show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista *** Email the show at [e-mail]! Call in and leave us a question or a message on 1800-317-515 to be answered on the show! *** Twitter: twitter.com/boontavista Website: boontavista.com Twitch: twitch.tv/boontavista

I feel like you got tricked. Yeah, I did get tricked. Hello, welcome to Bundavista episode 396. I'm Theo Bridges Porter, protagonist of latest game by visionary director Hideo Kojima, Death Stranding 2. And incredibly, I'm here in Australia, the surprise setting of Death Stranding 2, here to reconnect Australia and civilization to this land in a way that I'm sure will be treated sensitively with regards to this nation's 40,000 odd years of culture. If you don't know me, let's see, my best friend is a literal fetus that spends 100%

of its time drinking its own piss in a tank that I hang from my suit. My mum was the president, my other mum who is the same mum but not the president might be an allegory for the nuclear bombs dropped on Japan by the United States of America and also she's super hot. My job as a porter of goods, rebuilding humanity following the apocalypse, has made somewhat tricky due to the preponderance of ghosts hanging around unable to complete their journey to the afterlife.

But don't worry, I've put a bunch of piss-shitting hair into grenades that I carry around on crates on my back just in case I need to send those ghosts back to hell. I do this with the full support of the government. Oh, it's a call from my new friend. Ocean's and now battlefields, man. It's a full nude mocap performance of acclaimed Australian director of picnic at hanging rock, Peter Weir. Hello, Andrew.

Hi. So good to you. You're here to talk to me about building strands and knots and stuff. Yep. Yep. It's going to be meditative. It's going to be slow. We're going to have beautiful panning shots of wheat fields. Yes.

And then strands of wheat. Yes. Gorgeous like electronic folk music going. Yep. And also we're joined by Peter Weir, the man who directed The Truman Show. That's right. And Witness, starring Harrison Ford. One of my favorite pictures that I made because I'm Peter Weir.

Yeah. That you made Peter Weir. Why are you in this game? Oh, you'd have to ask Kojima-san. Yeah. I met him in an award ceremony. He shook my hand. He stood very close to me.

I got the distinct feeling that he was trying to smell my breath. He just kept saying over and over again, I must capture you. I must capture you. Let me put you in my capturing rig. I am going to distill your essence into the machine. Luckily, I don't really believe in any of that kind of gear. So I thought, Hey, why not come out of retirement or death? I can't remember what my deal is.

Retired, I think. And you know, go on down and put me in the box. See if they can steal my soul. See if they got what it takes to steal Peter Weir's soul. And so many people are agreeing to go on Kojima's contraption as well. They're saying yes to the box. I look to be perfectly honest, I also just kind of wanted to touch the rig

that they had nude scanned Leia Sadoo in. I don't know whether they nude scanned Leia Sadoo. Do you think Hideo Kojima was giving like multiple options? You can wear your clothes if you want, or for real for real authenticity No, I think there's something on those pop those leggings off There's something beautiful that to how much I have experienced are the only person they've nude scanned is Norman Reedus

What are the funniest people to nude scan in the entire world? I think they captured his Norman penis. Yeah It's a nude scan in the entire world. I think. They captured his Norman penis. Yeah. Hmm. Hmm. No.

Okay. Oh, another call. This time it's from my friend Crikeyman. It's a stunning rendition of the ghost of Steve Irwin against all concept of good taste and the wishes of his estate. It's Ben. Thanks for joining me from the other side to give me advice for dealing with Australia's rugged terrain.

I don't know anything about any of this shit. I only know memes about Kojima and how he makes friends with people and then he puts them in his stuff. So he gets, he's always hanging out with Mads Mikkelsen and... Oh, he loves Mads. Oh, it's Mr. Hellboy himself. Ron Perlman? Gimotororo.

I don't know if he's friends with Ron Perlman. I think he should get Ron Perlman in that thing. It's weird because I've been playing Death Stranding. Oh, really? When? Just pull him back the curtain for a second. And you go to delivery and then suddenly there's a hologram of the guy that runs the station that you're delivering to.

And it's acclaimed director of Drive, whose name? Nicholas Winding Refn. Yeah, Nicholas Winding Refn. I call him Nick Refn because we're friends and I'm pressed for time. Oh, Nicky Refns? Yeah. Nicky-a. Big Nicky-a? Nicky, big Nicky, the windster.

Anyways, you got any tips on how this like, how we tie this country back together with like, and use some some like ropes and strand meta like puns if you can? Like Shabari stuff? puns if you can. Like Shibari stuff? Yeah, have you tried using Shibari to restore this broken landscape? You guys ever notice that it's really obvious when someone you know is getting into Shibari? Yeah, it's usually because they post it about it. Because they're posting about how they're getting into Shibari? Because they post about Shibari publicly all the time.

Yeah, where just all of a sudden out of nowhere. Cause like the rope marks. Oh, it's because they're posting a picture of their wife, like fully clothed, but Shabaried up. And they're like Friday night. And you're like, okay. Still weird. It's still, it's more odd, honestly.

I wish she'd been nude when you'd done the post. I, um, I was- I been nude when you'd done the post. I was... I'd get something out of it. I was entertaining the idea of like, making some candles. Right? I was like, maybe that's a hobby. Because I bought some real big... I bought a real big candle a little while ago.

Because my friend had a real big candle at his house and I was like, that's in the future for me. I got jealous of my friend's candle, right? Got myself a big candle From your friend's big candle. It was a pretty pricey candle. What's it that his candle was big or was it that it lasted long? Or was it scented? It lasted a long time. It was like a big pyramid which I liked. Now we're talking. So it was bigger than the ones you had and girthier.

It was a cool shape, has cool colors going on, you know, he had some crystals and I was like, that's me, I'm stealing that. All of that. This is my personality now. So I was like, I'll just have a little look on YouTube for like, what's the easy gateway into making a candle, you know, and all of them are like here's how to make a tin candle You know you pour it into a little tin and I was like, I don't want that shit. I don't want that shit in a tin No, I want a freestanding. I want a freestanding pillar candle big pillar candles, you know And so do a bit more investigation and I think that the thing people are usually using is a mold You can get like silicon molds with cool cool shit on the candle and I'm scrolling through a list of

silicon molds for candles today and one of them is a big silicon mold that pops out a disembodied anime style torso done up in Shibari rope. And there we are. I was wondering how this story was linked in any way, but we really got there. Perfectly linked. Yeah, there it is. And I was like, I don't need that in my house. No, you need the pyramid candle. Yeah, the pyramid's fine. Sacred geometry.

We're not anti-Shibari, by the way. Okay? We don't think it's close. It's's... I don't know enough about it. It's kind of like you're doing Boy Scout stuff on your wife. You're doing sex Boy Scouts. No, that's... No, I don't want... That's not a good combination of it.

So it's not, yeah. Let's retract. Rovers? What's the one where you're a little bit older? Yeah, Rovers? You're doing sex Rovers with your wife? Sex cadets? What's the one out...

Outward bound? What was the one with? Homeward bound I think. I think it's homeward bound with a couple of talking dogs. Dogs and a cat. No that's dogs. No there was a thing that was like a Scouts kind of thing. You guys get you to go out on the... The Prince of Wales challenge? They get you to go out on an old sailboat and then you're back in Master and Commander territory I may as well hit the button now. Oh Another call

Joining me over video chat She's dressed in fully full tightly fitted long-sleeve shirt and long-sleeve pants despite the sizzling temperature fitted long sleeve shirt and long sleeve pants, despite the sizzling temperature. Taking a moment to pull a boot off, drain the sweat into a dog bowl with incredible state of the art fluid dynamics. Oh God. Such that a tiny dog who looks suspiciously like a claimed director, Hideo Kojima can lap it up. It's the director's barely disguised fetish vehicle.

Yeah. Hey. Hey. Hi. Am I meant to engage with this? Sure. No, you don't have to. It's actually a requirement of the job right now. I'd like you to take it seriously. I'd like you to connect with us. And that's the fetish that you think Hideo Kojima might have. Could be. I suppose it could be. He's probably got a bunch. Well, I mean, we all do.

Sorry, that sounded accusatory. I just mean that like he's a relatively like, they're out there. He's not hiding. Yeah, I think he's got out there once. Yeah. I don't think so. Oh no, sorry.

Sorry, just to be clear, I need to clarify. When we say out there, it feels like half of us are saying out there like crazy and half of us are talking out there like in the public. In the public record. Yeah. That's what I mean. Out there, I said their public knowledge.

Yeah. Not that they are spectacularly insane. I think the real difference is that he has like a lot of commercialized resources to help him realize Machine absolutely. That's why I can't like hate death stranding even if you know, it doesn't Like work for everybody Because someone gave him like a hundred million dollars to make that game and that rocks Yeah, and then you carry these packages around and then

Your guy falls over and you got to pick the packages back up again. Absolutely. Haven't played it. I just got Hello Kitty Island Adventure. Oh, yeah, that's good. On the Switch. Yeah, I've been hearing really good things. So yeah.

I believe friend of the show, Ruby Innis was very into that game at the time. Yeah, we had to make a separate channel and a Discord for that one. Cause it was hard to have for people to talk about anything else. Hmm. Yeah. Hey, connection, discussion, discourse. That's all chatting about stuff. I guess. Which.

Come on. Which. We got this. Remember your training. Land the plane. Land the plane. Terrain. Terrain. We chat about stuff we should chat about Stuff we should chat about Oh, tell us the stuff to chat about

Stuff we should chat about Here comes some more stuff to chat about We're chatting about stuff Yeah, baby That's right. The world's in turmoil. I don't think there's any other way to say it. There's so much stuff going on and some of that stuff is pretty wacky when you say it out loud.

There's another business that's been saying wacky stuff out loud for a long time now. The Onion. Satirical newspaper, online, mega corporation. And have you guys noticed that sometimes the onion and their headlines are a little difficult to tell apart from reality? Is that something that you guys have noticed? Yeah, I'm always noticing that, oh, it's, this could be real. Yeah.

Can we just take a step back for a second? You said satirical? Yeah. Andrew's cool. Maybe it used to be. Yeah, he's got to do some, some backtracking in his head. Some soul searching. I've been reading that for 25 years.

I've noticed. And I find that a lot of these, you know, when you think about discussion and where the discourse is happening, it's got to be on Blue Sky, right? Blue Sky is where the conversation is occurring, where great minds kind of hop on to talk about the things that matter. And so I thought I'd go through some discussion that's kind of happening under the Onion articles here on BlueSky.

Let me guess. Is it, um, what's the thing? I don't, you don't need to get ahead of this. I don't need to get ahead of, I thought this was supposed to be satire. BlueSky, I thought this was supposed to be satire website. It could be literally anything. Here's an article. How the US is resettling white South African refugees.

Let's see what people have to say about this. Kelly from up the road says, Oh, great. And why is onion? Why must this timeline be so dystopian? Then I can't tell if this headline is satire or not. Feel like I'm being shot. Bullet. Yeah.

It's not a bullet to the head though. It's, it's like, Gut shot. Yeah. To the guts. Yeah. Yeah. It's not a bullet to the head though. It's, it, it's like, Gut shot. Yeah. To the guts. Yeah. Yeah. Geek G says when satire is no longer satirical.

Anti-ugly says, babe, wake up. Onion universe finally merged with ours. Night owl says, this is all probably true. Oh my God. Here's another article. US military bans men with girl names from combat. That's just good gear. That's funny.

That's funny. Good gear running parallel to a bunch of like obscene stuff happening. Yeah, but also like it's a little too close to home. With a Twitter. Do you think so? Cause I read that and I kind of think like, Oh, that's, that's pretty ridiculous. No one could kind of take that seriously. The brain of Dave says, I swear to God, I keep having to check that these, to

make sure these aren't posts by CNN. Mr. Riddle says, I genuinely thought this was true for a good few seconds. Syntax says good grief when the onions from the, when the headlines from the onion are too close to reality. Yep. Jane is Scudder says, I thought this was real for a microsecond. Cheers.

Oh, microsecond's not very long. So I don't think it's fair to make fun of that person. That can kind of be an inside thought though. You can just keep that as an insight. Sometimes I see something from a satirical website and I don't realize it's satire. And I just, I just keep that one to myself. You kind of keep that as an inside thought. Yeah.

To go like, whoop, that probably reflects poorly on me. It kind of makes me look stupid. Yeah. It said the onion above what the headline was. So I should have known that from the context I was provided. But now this one's interesting. Probably would, I thought we should have known that from the context I was provided. But now this one's interesting. Probably would I thought should have started some discussion. No, no replies, no likes on it.

So from Miss Pine Tree, I have to slow down when I read these headlines. The world is ridiculous right now. I keep thinking these are real headlines. Max, Max Rager 88 says, can't tell satire from fact nowadays. You can actually. It sounds like you're telling it now as you type the comment. Yeah, you kind of already know what it is.

This is so good. I've been, I was talking to someone about Blue Sky the other day, about how it's full of the people that left Twitter like three or four years ago because Twitter was too mean, too mean spirited. Now they're back. Yeah, they're back on blue sky. And they're in charge.

They're in power. They're in power. They're the big dogs now. The literal people are in charge now. Yeah. The nerds have taken over finally. Um, here's another one. Rising income inequality causing wealthy Americans to take on second sailboat.

Sort of phrased in a way that isn't even like how would that operate. But let's see what the space shipper has to say. Satire is so dead that I've already seen it on TV. Jeff Anthony says if only this was satire or even humorous, not finding kind of a dark humor in these times. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, Grimalkin Weird says, not satire. Ah, I think Kentucky Hills says- I think that's just false. Yeah. Yeah, I think it is satire.

I'm giving that for Pinocchios. Yeah. It is satire. Kentucky Hills says to the article, rising income and quality, causing wealthy Americans to take on second sale book. I remembered when the onion was considered satire. Now it's on par with hard hitting journalism, such as that it exists these days. Such as that it exists.

Ben, do you remember getting these comments when you and I wrote for a, we wrote for an SBS satire website at some point and it was these same people that left Twitter and now they're back on Blue Sky. Yeah. Like every single day there'd be at least one comment that was like, I thought this was supposed to be satire. Yeah. It is.

And so this is probably causing you some sort of emotional pain. Yes. You think maybe like one of the big giveaways is that one of the people quoted in the story is called like Ludovigo Gerken. Yeah. Yeah. It's probably not a real person. Yeah.

Yeah. Anyway, Texas Bands being different around children. Uh, probably not a real person. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, Texas bands being different around children. This is a good one. Cameron says, I thought this was real for a second. I just lost my shit. Hater of hate says, OMG, you got me. Sounded just like recent Texas malarkey. It's not made to be a trick. Yeah. Is it like a ruse. They're like, let's see if they believe this one. Yeah, to see what you can believe. Uh, ol' Kug says, if I didn't see those from the onion, I would believe it was something that Texas pass. Yes.

Yeah, that's kind of the point of having like a fake news website, is that it looks like news. Yeah, it's sort of combining elements of reality with a heightened premise to sort of highlight maybe something illogical or something absurd about a situation. That's kind of the thing with satire. Yeah. Um, and Bernard says, wow, for a moment, I thought it was real. Sharon Lee says, I can't tell the difference between the onion and reality anymore. You should get your head, your whole head in the rabies tester. I think that might be a you.

It's just Chris08 says the onion is getting too real. And a reply to that from Yaya. I hate how close reality is to this level of satire. Well, don't get angry at reality for that. I mean mean be angry at reality certainly, but it's not like reality is cruelly trying to move itself closer to satire. Yeah. I like this combination. Dr. Strange Pork says, this could be an actual headline at this point. Mike Hinch says, um, what? Oh, hang on. This is satire. Sorry. For a moment. I thought this was serious.

All right. So this guy's got a broken, broken backspace key on his keyboard. So he started typing something. There's no way he has to have the whole thought process in there. We guys ever on IRC. Oh no, no, not a way. I see. Um, what was the thing that came before MSN messenger? Um, where you could see.

It was definitely not IRC. Um, where you could see, it's definitely not IRC. Um, where you could see what someone had typed and then if they backspaced it, it would disappear. Oh, that's fucked up. Yeah. Yeah. The relationship destroyer. Um, Shin from discord says, love how we live in a timeline where I

thought this was a real for a sec. I don't think, I think they're being sarcastic. Scipio now says, oh, I should have seen that it was the onion. I thought it was real. Congratulations. That's again, that's not the goal. That's not. Yeah. Pony Holmes says the horrible part is that this is not even a satirical article. It is. Stacey says, I'm really not sure this is satire. Seems true to life to me. What do you think satire. Seems true to life to me. Shrug a moody.

What do you think satire is? I was really troubled. I feel bad for bullion zoomers for their level of media literacy. Cause I know that these people are 35 to 45. Yeah. 100%. These people are our peers. Yes.

These are our peers. And they are not operating at a, like a lot of these people are just using hyperbole to say to express their frustrations with our 100% they were agreeing with the sentiment of the article but they're expressing it in the most fucking annoying way annoying yeah in the their native tongue which is a correction. Yes. Yeah. DNDland says, NGL, I thought this was legit news because waves arms. Look at everything. And Bethamphetamine says, oof, too real.

We're about halfway done here now. Trump grants refugee status to former SS guards. Now that's silly. in our Trump-grant refugee status to former SS guards. Mm. Mm. Now that's silly. Uh, if you were, if you were 20 in 1945, you would be 100 now. So probably that category that's, that's vanishingly tiny. Probably not a lot of those people left at this stage.

Daedalus says, almost got me with that one. Fell into sounds about right territory. Night Shift says, fuck onion, I had to do a triple take. Stop making these more believable than real life. Triple, triple take. That's not more believable than real life. It's less believable. It's less believable than real life. You can tell.

On account of it being a comedy thing, I think. Yeah. Ya boy Azrael said, I miss when you guys did satire Especially being called as rail Think I've developed like a hyper An extreme allergy to just annoying turns of internet phrase or the way I hate it I hate it One of the ones is driving me fucking insane at the moment, if I can

briefly do a stuff we should chat about. Sure. Hit that sticker. Before we get back to the... Before we get back to a stuff we should chat about. The construction, well, just wait until you find out about X when you, you know. When that was kind of the joke. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Or even if we will sometimes get a form of feedback like that, where we've talked about something that was crazy to us, and then someone will be like, well, you think that's crazy. Just wait until you find out about this. And the reason that drives me insane is twofold. Often, we already know about that thing.

Yeah. You just don't assume that we don't know anything if we haven't explicitly talked about it. We're sort of on the same internet as everyone. Yeah, it's like reading the word Aardvark in the dictionary and going, Aardvark? You think that's crazy? You think that's crazy? I'm trying to hear about annotations.

The other thing that drives me insane is that if that is someone hoping to introduce you to it, that moment is when you are finding out about it. Worst possible way possible. Just wait until you find out about whatever. Well, I'm finding out about it right now when you've said that phrase. Why don't you just say, hey, check this out. Check this out. You're right.

Check this out. But when it said, I experienced this the other day, there was a tweet, maybe it was even on Blue Sky and it was a picture of Maya Hawke and someone was like jokingly, they were like, if Uma Thurman and Ethan Hawke had a baby. That's a good post. That's a good post. And then I read the replies and I really just threw my fucking phone across the room. Like you know exactly what the replies are like.

Could you imagine the chances? It was literally like, wait until you find out about who their parents are. Yeah. Could's so funny. Could you imagine the chances that they are not joking? Could you imagine? Can you stop and think? I need you to sit down because you're about to read something that's going to rock your fucking world.

Yeah. Hey, this is the, this is actually the perfect person for me to share this particular fact with. Oh, even worse, you know, when you do a funny tweet and someone replies with like, Oh, I think, I think you mean X. Yeah. No, that's the worst. And they say like a less funny thing.

My tweet was funny and you've made it not funny. I mean the thing that I said, because I'm good at this. Don't punch up my tweets. Don't punch up my tweets. Don't punch up my posts. I really don't miss about Twitter is that people would like, there was a particularly like, I'm going to say elder millennial, younger boomer style thing where you would make a joke about some public figure and then they would sort of pick whichever

Ospole demon was their least favorite and be like, Oh, I think you meant this about Peter Dutton. Absolutely. It's still happening on blue sky. I actually made it about Gary Busey, which is why I specified Gary Busey Yeah, also happening on the on blue sky. Amy the fabulous is raising her hand to double-check that. This was the onion currently engaged in Racketeering with a kind of profile picture of a raccoon. I

Missed the onion label. I only saw the headline. I'm disappointed for myself, with myself for going, oh yeah, that seems about right. Racketeering? Salty with emoji ice cream and pretzel. The onion, you're supposed to have fake and satirical news. This is just real. Face palm emoji.

Donna, Did you spend your Saturday compiling these? They don't need to talk about that. Donna LaCour says, I actually thought this was true when I first saw it. That tells you how bad things have gotten. Yes. Yeah. Like a common, a through line, like through, like I'm sure in the 90s people are logging on to BBSs and posting this.

Penryu says, it's sad that the administration has killed satire as a viable art form and forced the onion to replace it with actual Trump tactics. It is sad. Madd says the onion reporting on actual news is satire. Once again, satire is so dead. Cry emoji. Cunninglingus Jesus, comma PhD says this is literally just news. If I say the phrase cunninglingus, I know I'm in for a bad tweet, like a bad reply.

Bad, bad. Yeah, just the worst person. The worst beard too as well. And an even worse hookup. Just horrible. Awful. Andybp79 says, I feel like this article happened after reality. I feel like this article happened after.

I feel like this article happened after reality. I mean, you're not wrong. Not wrong in one sense. So before reality? During? This article happened during reality? Do you think that's somebody's neurons like misfiring while they try to recall the phrase like post-truth? Yeah. Yeah, there's that whole kind of...

Oh, after reality, post-truth, yeah. Yeah, that whole kind of... I think it's them just going like something happened in reality and then this article came out. Yeah, reality happened and then this article was published. Yeah. American guy next door says, you are supposed to be farce. It's like he's holding a gun at the same time. Not the same time. Jobert in brackets derogatory says, if this was posted anywhere else, I'd 100% believe it.

You shouldn't do that. That'd be stupid. Yeah, that makes you sound not smart. Yeah. Levetien says, did no one tell the new guy in charge of posting these aren't supposed to be factual? The new guy in charge of posting. So you reckon that there's one person at the onion that comes up with the stories? They might be talking about Tim onion, the new owner.

Mr. Onion. Mr. Onion. Mr. Onion. Yeah. Uh, here's another one. RFK junior claims measles can be cured with a good concealer. Yep. See the, like, I'm not laughing because that actually sounds real to me.

That sounds like something that he would say. I thought this was supposed to be a satire website. Well, you're in good company, Lucy, because Blob says, took me a little while to realize this was the onion. Michelle J. Norton says, I'd like you to stop reporting the news and do more jokes. And then kind of like the discord syntax for sobs, but it hasn't rendered anything. So, Angel says, it's getting so much harder to tell what is or isn't satire. It's still the same. Joe Bowers says, it sounds like something he could have said.

I believed it for a second. You got me there, onion. Alex I ran out of vowels says, I hate it when you have such believable headlines. Gojiwave says, is this satire Apollo's gift of prophecy at work? Again. Richard says, God darn it. The fact that I have to look to see who posted these headlines when I see them right now is a sign of how dumb the times are.

I think it's a sign of something else, Richard. Gary Longside says, it's becoming more difficult to shine a light between the onion and ordinary headline news. I think it's the same same gap as always. Mountain Gators says, I can't tell what's real anymore. This administration is going to put the onion out of business. Neisam Doom says, got me again. Anna Banana says, you got me again onion. Victoria Joe says, how does it feel to live in an era where your headlines sound exactly the same as every other news headline? And Jane says,

I'm really tired of living in the world where I cannot tell if an onion article is true or not. Worse. I don't even know that I care anymore. People blow us up. Give a shit. Hmm. Hmm. Yeah.

Uh, and finally, uh, here's a, I went to this one just to see, just to see the headline, Nervous Matt Gaetz fumbles with training bra. Great headline. That's pretty good actually. Yeah. Superdad3016 says, I can't tell if this is real news or the onion. Why would it be real news? Why would they report that? They wouldn't report it in that fashion.

Why would they put that in the newspaper? Because they'd probably have to start with this being a serious allegation of pedophilia. Probably not the fumbling the bra part. I don't think they report sex crimes like that. No. I think they probably use a different- Well, the Daily Mail might. But probably not like one of the more serious ones.

Reporting the fun ones. Yeah, just the... Hey, thanks for letting me annoy you. Thank you for annoying us. Hey, for a while there it didn't seem like Theo was going to land that segue when he did it. Here's another thing that might have some difficulty landing and we'll talk about it in Plainly Speaking.

Ah, this is your captain speaking. Please return your seats to their upright positions as we are coming in hot on another edition of Plainly Speaking. This comes to us from General Aviation News. Flying car production prototype unveiled. Flying car prototype? Yeah, you guys heard about these flying cars. I've never even really entertained the thought, to be honest. Kleinvision, the Slovakia-based developer of the Aircar, has unveiled the production prototype for its flying car.

Aircar is just such a shit name. It's great. It just is what it is. It just tells you what it does on the box. It breathes as well. What do you say when somebody says, hey, you want to take a quick spin in my Slovakian Aircar? No. says, Hey, you want to take a quick spin in my Slovakian air car?

No. I only want it American made. Yeah. Uh, the air car, which already holds a certificate of airworthiness has completed more than 170 flight hours, more than 500 takeoffs and landings, according to company officials. And we took a Slovakian certificate of airworthiness? I don't know which body issued the certificate of airworthiness. I don't know if this has to meet some sort of international standard.

Yeah. Oh, look at it. Look at it. It's so cool. If they could get picked up by Škoda, maybe this might be a serious concern. They look a little bit dope. The Škoda Aircar? Oh, really? They tried to make it look like a performance car. They look a little bit dope. The Schoda Aircar? Oh really? They tried to make it look like a performance car. Like a McLaren.

Yeah. But also it has retractable wings that come out and then you can... Oh it truly looks, it's just like a Cessna but the body is a car. The body is a McLaren, yeah. Cool car. Yeah. But, but you can't... I'm going to say this is a plane. But, but the wings retract. You can't really drive a Cessna around on the highway

You know wings fully retract into the drive on the road and then you can pop the wings out. Yeah Drive on the parkway, but you Drive way Yeah, yeah Fly on the highway. On the Kleinvision.com site, there's a fantastic hero image of the car facing forwards with only what I can only describe as the world's most uncle man in the driving seat like white hair he's got his he's got his

earmuffs on and he's flying the contraption that he built I think that might be Stefan Klein yeah I think that might be the titular Klein of Klein vision and he's gonna die flying this car by his invention. Bet my life on it. He will be killed by his creation. He's getting added to Theo's favourite Wikipedia list. Yeah. He's been doing this since like the eighties. Yeah. But like we've had the idea of the flying car. Oh, absolutely.

What was it? Was it a Nissan Pinto that they converted into a flying car? Ford Pinto? Oh, Ford Pinto. Sorry. Thank you. Uh, they made one of those into a flying car, right? Yeah.

I don't think it's the actual invention that's the problem. It's like the function of using the air, like the sky as a roadway. Yeah. Like, there's just no fucking reason that you would need a vehicle that's both, other than if you didn't want to rent a car at the other end, or you didn't want to use public transport. Like, no, I'd really just like to have my car at the other end, or you didn't want to use public transport. Like, no, I'd really just like to have my car when I get to Luxembourg.

Yeah, because you presumably still have to take this off on a runway. That's what I was thinking. I was like, you can't just pop it off on the road. You got to like take it down to the airport. So really you're saving money on Ubers. True. You don't have to deal with like airport parking where you think you're saving money on Ubers? True. Yeah.

You don't have to deal with like airport parking where you think you're getting a good deal and then you realize the shuttle bus only comes every half an hour and the airport parking is actually half an hour away from the airport. I don't know if you guys have... So instead you could just be... Airport parking is a scam. You could just be driving your plane straight out of the Brisbane airport. It just doesn't seem like a good idea and there's probably a reason.

If the technology is there, we know that you can just sort of strap wings to the body of a car and make it a plane. Apparently. We've had that tech now for like 50 years. But we're not doing it because it's stupid. That's the main reason. Cause we're going to, what are you going to have air traffic control for a bunch of fucking flying cars?

Think about, just think about it for a minute. We're already almost bonking planes into each other all the time. Yeah. Oh, this is the same as those like, um, the like quadcopter VTOL things that everyone's always saying they're about to launch. Like Uber's, Uber said, Oh yeah, cause they're going to deliver your parcels and all that kind of stuff. And, or big ones.

Air taxis, like that they'll move like three to four people around. Uber said they were going to launch it. Way back when we were talking about the Brisbane Olympics. Yes. And they were going to build like a bunch of these. Yeah. They would have them launched in Melbourne by like 2024. Like passenger vehicles.

Passenger air taxis. And when you go and check, it turns out Uber is just doing labour rights violation taxis still. Yeah. Yes. They're still, the big thing that they're doing is not paying people to drive people around. It's just creating an entire, a whole new subclass of people to perform tasks for us. Yes. So like none of this is ever going to happen. Like the air taxi thing is not going to happen

because that is just putting a whole bunch of like, you know, things that weigh a ton flying around between buildings in the inner city is just not going to fucking happen in the near future at all. Imagine somebody having a fender bender with an office building and just falling into the street in the middle of like a CBD. Yeah, I know that happens 12 times a day. You really don't do this in like speculative sci-fi, right? It's like portraying the average level of driving, but like in the skies.

Yeah, above your home where you and your children sleep. Yeah. It's like, you know, the guy that like you're coming onto the motorway and you're about to like everyone else in the line of cars coming onto the motorway are about to shift right because, or left if you're American. I know if you're in Europe, you've also got to shift left, but I know you've already done the mental transposition. You know, you kind of know about other countries already. So you're, you're able to understand

and to empathize and to do your own little cultural translations. But with Americans, we have to do it for them. So there's, there's a line of, let's say, 10 cars all ready to do that beautiful synchronized move where they indicate right and they shift right off of the slipway. And then there's the king of the highway, here he comes, no indication, he's going to fly up the side of you and up the side of everybody else in a way that is just astonishingly canty. Now imagine that they do that straight into the mega orphanage at 400 kilometers an hour. It's just not here. The vehicle is capable of

transformation from car to aircraft in less than two minutes, quote, blending advanced aerodynamics, composite structures and a new 280 horsepower engine company officials added. Quote, the air car fulfills a lifelong dream to bring the freedom of flight into the hands of everyday people, said Stephane Klein, founder of Klein Vision. It can be in your hands if you just have enough money. If you have like a... You can just go and get a recreational pilot's license.

It's just expensive. Like, you'd still have to have one to fucking fly this thing, right? Yeah, I feel like a Cessna is going to be cheaper than this thing. Yes. What's it doing? You're getting the same experience. It has to be, right? Cessna has spent decades boiling a plane down to its like base elements.

And you cannot add car functionality onto that and make it cheaper than the existing options. Yeah. Yeah. Get a sandpiper or something. Is that a type of aircraft? Get one of those ones with the V-tail that kills dentists. The dentist killer.

The dentist killer. It doesn't solve a problem. There's no problem this solves. It's not cheaper than a Cessna. It's not more convenient than just like driving to Archerfield Airport and then getting in your little plane or whatever. And there's no freedom of flight. They've got to open a gate for you or something. And they've never used that gate before. There are more rules in the sky. There are far more rules in a plane than there are on the land.

You're not freedom. They do give you one extra access to move in though, which is pretty cool. Yeah. You get access to Z. Awesome. Yeah. Otherwise you're locked. Court, the air, oh sorry,

with the launch of our production prototype, we are one step closer to transforming how the world moves, merging the road and the sky into a new dimension of personal mobility. Yeah, I don't know if it's like a whole new dimension. It's kind of an existing dimension. We kind of already had, we had cars, we already kind of had personal aircraft, you know, gliders. I feel like this is really adjacent to that dimension.

I feel like it's pretty much existing in the same dimension. It's kind of exactly the same. You just made a horrible vehicle Chimera, basically. And like, who's going to buy it? Like the people that can afford it are the people that wouldn't be doing their own driving, I feel. Like, you know, this and like who's gonna buy it like the the people that can afford it The people that wouldn't be doing their own driving I feel like you know, this is like if you can afford this you can probably just get like a private private flight Yeah, it's good. What's going on with their thing a little wrap a wrap and a salad Some chips

See if we can like get some food delivered to Theo mid live show. Yeah. For the authentic experience. It goes a bit. It goes a bit but also blood sugar levels don't crash. Blood sugar levels are. Yeah you don't want them fading out during the show. If you eat those in the microphone I'm gonna fucking kill you.

I have an additional little thing here from Wikipedia about the Klein Vision Air Car. Just three sentences. The prototype first flew on the 22nd or 27th of October 2020. Okay. Obviously, that's in the distant past, so no way of nailing down a specific date there. You don't want to keep good records on this stuff. Uh, in June of 2021, the prototype air car carried out a 35 minute flight between Nitra and Bratislava airports.

Pretty big milestone for them. And on April 23, 2024, Kleinvision's air car took to the skies with electronic musician pioneer Jean-Michel Jarre. Now we're talking. Isn't that fucking cool? The guy who did oxygen. Now this is the new dimension that I've been waiting to hear. Yeah. See now we're kind of tying it back to like a retro futuristic reality where I'm like,

oh fuck, this is kind of cool, I guess. You took Jean-Michel's up there I think he's probably gonna write a 50 minute album with two songs on it about this Hell yeah, I got the guy that did that a night drive Who did night drive Kavinsky? Yeah, they got Kavinsky. They should get Kavinsky up there. Oh night call Is that what you think? Night call that's it. Night Drive is the Chromatics album, but there are songs from the Chromatics album Night Drive on the soundtrack to Drive by Nicholas Wending Refn. That can't be true. That's true.

Tick of the clock, you know, from the whole opening sequence. Great song. Hey, I think we're going to hear about this again and maybe in future we'll do an update to that news story. But for now it's time for an update to a different news story. It's time for Oh Shit, It's an Update to an Old News Story. So this is an update to a story that we first covered back in February of 2021 in episode 186, Beefalo, Beefalo, Beefalo, Beefalo, Beefalo, Beefaloalo beefalo beefalo beefalo beefalo beefalo which

we then did an update on in episode 158 of big soft titty.png which was going to be episode 205 of this podcast but they paid me $50 for the great podcast heist that's right. The podcast heist. This comes to us from... What heist did they pay for it though? Well, it was done with a... Ben's just the agent. They didn't pay us for it. Yeah, that's right. They didn't pay the podcast. They paid me personally.

This is from WVIT in Connecticut. Buddy the beloved beefalo has been adopted. Now, so this is a story about a beefalo that had escaped while getting loaded into a truck going to a slaughterhouse. And then it stayed on the loose for like six months or a year or something. People just couldn't capture it. And they were like, well, we can't just turn this thing into meat. We got to give it a whole new life. And now- It's kind of the same though. It seems fucked up that he's getting around as being a beefalo. Yeah.

They should, they should have the same, the same rules for prison. Like if you're on the way to prison and your bus gets the fugitive'd? Yeah. It gets fugitive'd. It gets fugitive'd. It gets fugitive'd. It gets fugitive'd. And you're off and you're out, they can't just like corral you straight up back on the bus.

You should be free to go. Yeah. If you're out in the woods for more than six months, hey, you earned your freedom. That's all right. They weren't that interested. They clearly weren't that invested in you being in jail if it took them that long, you know? A bit of an I thought you cared kind of moment. You didn't kill your wife! Yes you didn't it was the

one-armed man. Buddy, a beefalo that captured hearts across Connecticut several years ago when he was on the run after escaping a meat processing facility in Plymouth has been adopted which means he has a sponsor to fund his care at a Florida cow sanctuary. So that is where he ended up After he was finally captured because friends Yeah, do you think they're welcoming him or do you think that they kind of know that there's something different about Buffy the beef? Oh, is he getting on the beef? Yeah, yeah

Microaggressions happening Cow or a man of beef Buddy a cattle bison hybrid that is raised for its meat had been bought to Connecticut from a farm in Beckett, Massachusetts And escaped from a local meat processing facility in August 2020. So we're at like what four and a half years Since then the man's been living on the run. He was on the run for months until he was caught with a farmer's female cows. Cheeky dog. One thing you can't say no to. Same way, um, what's his name's character gets caught in No Country for Old Man.

They don't make it explicit whether or not he did though. Whether or not he did, but... In that movie they don't. The book it seems pretty heavily to suggest that he did though. And you go, why aren't they showing me this? Why aren't they showing that Buffy the Beefalo got caught? It's because he let his guard down. He suffered his base instincts and you can't do that when you're on the run from evil. From pure evil? Yeah.

From a force that has no humanity or no cow manatee? That's right, folks. We have a lesson for you today. When you're on the run from a force of pure evil, there's no time to stop for pussy. Sorry. Jesus. Now they know how to catch a beefalo. They should just be using the cows as like honey traps. To catch a beefalo.

Putting out the nicest cows. Mountain fans to the back of them. Who did you think you were here to see? Take a seat, Buddy. After he was caught, Buddy moved south to Critter Creek Farm Sanctuary in Florida, where he's been living his best bovine existence. The animal sanctuary said Buddy has been officially adopted through its sponsorship program. Sponsors fund animals, veterinary care, feed, hay, and other essentials through a monthly

scholarship according to the Critter Creek Farm Sanctuary website. It's funny calling it a scholarship. It is. It's beautiful. He's going to Bovine University. Bovine U? B-U? Oh, Bo-U?

Go Beefalers. The sanctuary said in a Facebook post, the woman sponsored Buddy in honor of her mom and said she fell in love with him the moment she saw him. Quote, these days, Buddy enjoys his space and prefers to spend time with his herd rather than around humans, which we completely respect. He's made it clear he's living life on his own terms, the sanctuary said. I mean, kind of. He seemed like he was previously living life on his own terms right up until he was right

up until, yeah. You're assigning a lot of agency to this beefalo that I'm not sure exists. We've said this the last time we talked about it, but it is pretty fucking insane that like thousands upon thousands of cows and beefalos alike are just getting sort of impersonally slaughtered to feed the meat of this tree. Yeah. But like one is blocky enough that everyone's like, no, no, no, no, we're putting him in an animal sanctuary.

Nah, he's a swat. I like this guy. Yeah, because he was fucking terrified of us and he tried to escape. I think we should let him live and put him in just a different pen. The others though, as far as we can tell they love it Yeah, yeah, yeah, they crave the slaughter the rest of them have expressed a desire to leave in in clear enough terms for my liking It's pretty fucking it's no good. Yeah when you say it like that. Yeah, yeah, so don't Hey, if you were a beefalo and you were getting out of the back of a truck and you saw a bunch of guys in white coats, that'd probably be a bad omen for your near future.

We talk about omens in Omens and Portents. You shall see hail fall from a clear sky and burn as fire upon the ground. You shall see darkness cover Egypt when the sun climbs high to noon. And you shall know that God is God and bow down to his will. This comes to us from press agency UPI. Duck triggers speed camera exactly seven years after identical incident.

Do we think it's the same duck? Yeah. It's still haven't fixed the problem, huh? A traffic monitoring camera in a Swiss town was triggered by a fast flying duck, breaking the speed limit seven years to the day after the same thing happened in the same spot at the same speed. What do they know? What are they up to?

What's going on? Seven years, seven ducks, seven seals. Yes. Seven heads upon the beast. I don't think ducks can break the speed limit. The limit does not apply to them. No. It's not their limit.

No. They didn't agree to be a part of our society. They didn't agree to do business with the corporation that is Switzerland and therefore do not have to abide by their corporate policies. It's a free duck living on the land. Sometimes the sky and water. Wow, they really got all three, huh? They do. They're the ones adding a new dimension to the way they are not not fire though True. Yeah True. I was really tickled by that video of the man walking a

Pram that's on fire. Yeah, the guy walking is fire. It's fine Yeah, I didn't click on it to hear any of the audio or anything But yeah, yeah the bit I saw as I scrolled past, pretty amusing. Yeah. We thought. The municipality of Kernitz said on social media that the speed camera was triggered April 13th and captured an image of a male duck traveling at 32 miles per hour in a 12 mile per hour zone.

32 miles per hour? It's a hoof in it. A similar looking duck triggered the same camera on April 13th, 2018 by flying at the same speed. What do you mean a similar looking duck? Like all ducks appear similar. Well, probably in the speeding camera, cause it's going to be blurred. It's actually a shockingly good image.

I think something that I haven't updated in my like mental map of the world is that good cameras are very cheap now. So when we were young, security camera footage always looked like absolute dog shit and it's fucking impossible to tell what's going on when you look at something. It's grainy and it's black and white and it's super choppy. It's like two frames a second because they couldn't store more than that. And now it's just like a HD regular camera feed with like somewhat decent audio. Yeah. It's kind of cool. It means we get to capture more wacky incidents all the time because everyone's

filming everything with like pretty, pretty good video. Yeah. And then Palantir is using machine learning on that to work out better guidance for bombs for blowing up. And to find out where you specifically live and shop and work. Yeah, it's good stuff. Officials speculated the two photos could be the same bird returning to the scene of his original traffic crime for a repeat offence.

He has no concept of what a crime is. Don't put your human lens on him. Yes, your anthropocentric view isn't useful here. It's probably a different duck. I'm going to say seven years apart, the duck probably doesn't have a routine that just brings it annually past that camera. Yeah. I don't know. I'm going to say that if that happened in my jurisdiction, I couldn't help but speculate. I would be speculating. Yes.

Pattern matching. That's what your pattern matching animal brain wants to do. You want to look at disparate data points and try and join them together into something that has a narrative. And now you're like this duck loves speed cameras. You're just reinforcing your own worldview of ducks as being criminals. Yeah. Yes. And look, let's be real. They're not even the most criminal coded animal.

No, like raccoons. Raccoons right up there. They're wearing the little masks. Yeah. Raccoons. Yeah. Classic monkeys. If you want something in the shape of a duck that is much ruder, you've got a goose right there. If you're looking for mischief, you can't go past a ferret. True. Perhaps a weasel. Yes.

And they're not even like a bower bird or something that is going around stealing little bits of stuff to finish their nest with. Hey, I heard an American say cuckooburra the other day. It's disgusting, huh? Cuckooburra. Oh, that's not nice. Because they've obviously fallen back on like a bird word they know. Yeah. Yeah and they've only seen that word on the Outback Steakhouse menu that has kookaburra wings.

I think kookaburra wings... They're not, they're just chicken wings. I think kookaburra wings would be gross Yeah, a lot of wild birds. I don't think would actually be enjoyable to eat, but I could be wrong Let's let's try. Let's see if we can fundraise me a dead kookaburra to eat You probably get your cool about it. They're probably protected. I think The town stressed the incident was not a quote, late April fools prank as the computers that control the camera are inspected and calibrated annually and the stored photos are sealed and impossible to manipulate.

What would the prank be? What would the prank be? I guess the, I feel if you're making the prank, you don't have to kind of imprint it in the camera as well. If it was the department doing that, you could just doctor an image. They could just post an image. Yeah. It doesn't have to come from the thing.

It is impossible to manipulate the system. Oh, you just lied at a Facebook post. Oh yes, that would work. I did not even think of that. What a great Swiss prank. It's the same bird. It did the same thing again. Oh, I can't.

No, I can't keep it up. It isn't. The man that introduced lying to Switzerland. The invention of Swiss lying. Quote, we hope you enjoy pondering curious coincidences, criminal activities of animals and the maximum flight speed of ducks, the municipalities both said. Well, that's fun. Maybe this is why we think you're joking, because you're having a little too much fun with it.

Yeah, you get a little too silly with it, Swiss man. Also, Swiss humor coming through. Like that kind of takes the edge off for us when it sounds like they're describing this podcast. Yeah, that's true. That's so true. Yeah, that's our tag podcast? Yeah. That's true. That's so true. Yeah. That's our tagline. Yeah. Curious licenses. Steal it. Criminal activities of animals. Maximum flight speed of ducks. Yeah. They kind of got our asses there. That feels very Swiss to me. To just be like,

I hope you enjoyed thinking of something weird. I hope you enjoyed pondering something a little odd. I hope you enjoyed pondering something a little odd. Now back to work. I'm docking 30 seconds from your time sheet. Hey, this was definitely an episode of the podcast, Punta Vista. Thank you so much for joining us. Live show still coming up May 31st, the Polish club, Polonia, Milton, Brisbane, Queensland, Australia. Get those tickets to pointofis.com slash live. Tell a friend about the live show, even if they don't listen to the podcast, especially.

Some people came last time that didn't listen to the podcast and I thought that was pretty weird and they probably had a really weird time. Yeah, a lot of people put their hands up when I asked that question. It was odd. It was real odd. I thought, oh no, hopefully the person sitting next to you was just going to whisper in your ear and sort of explain the stuff. Just explain the kind of the jokes to you and be like, that's Theo. He's like kind of strange.

He's kind of weird. He's kind of got anxiety. It's the one that doesn't have a diagnosis. I know. No, it's crazy. I know. Yeah, this segment goes on for a while. Part of the fact that it's not funny is actually the joke.

It's more of a thinker than it is a chuckler. So I think that could be fun. Bring a parent. Um, they might enjoy it. Maybe if your mom is kind of cool or your dad is cool. If you've got a milf, if you've got a dillf, bring him along. Bring a milf. You've got an uncle with an open mind? Bring an uncle.

You've got a willf? Ulf. Ulf? Bring your ulf. I'd love to meet that ulf. Until then, stay safe out there. Keep your head on a swivel at all times. And hey, keep pondering odd things.

It's good for your health, mental health and physical health, I think. Yeah. Cause you know, you've got to think about odd things with what, with everything going on in the world these days. It's hard to separate. It's hard to kind of figure out what's true. Sometimes fiction is stranger than reality I've found because you can just make up fucking whatever.

Yeah. We'll talk to you on the bonus episode, maybe, if we're lucky. Um, bye. Bye. Bye bye. Goodbye. If night, you are the prototype Wilt you toe to the sun And do things I know you like

I think I'm in love again I think I'm in love again