Boonta Vista - EPISODE 397: Singles For The Hot Dog Man

Episode Date: May 24, 2025

Lucy, Theo, Andrew, and Ben bring you: The threat of cheap hot dogs, a miraculous burning river, having your first beer and flipping out, and not living by the cowboy code. *** Outro: Aquarius - Boards of Canada *** Live show tickets available at boontavista.com/live *** Support our show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista *** Email the show at [e-mail]! Call in and leave us a question or a message on 1800-317-515 to be answered on the show! *** Twitter: twitter.com/boontavista Website: boontavista.com Twitch: twitch.tv/boontavista

Hello and welcome to Bunda Vista, episode 399. You need us to have that kind of game. Yeah, absolutely. We're live for the team. Absolutely. Hello and welcome to Blundervista, episode 397. I'm Ben and I'm here in the smoking area over Fridays on a Thursday night in the year 2010. Life has never been so good. I'm double-fisting $3 basics and they've just put on

Leica G6 for the ninth time in two hours. With me is Lucy, who just threw up the half a dozen double blacks she had for pre's before coming out, but has rallied and is pushing through it. Lucy, I think tonight is going to be the best night of our entire lives. Do you agree? Lucy McDonough I agree. And all of the songs that we're listening to are talking about how this is the best night of our entire lives. And it's really jazzing me up. Yeah. I never enjoyed going out at that age at all as like a 19 or 20 year old. I was so uncomfortable in those situations and I had such a deep, profound loathing for

watching people having the best time of their lives sing along to songs about having the best time of your lives and really feeling it, not a shred of irony or insincerity about them. We really were perhaps having the best time of our lives. Now that I think about it. Because everything got worse from there. I'm way happier. Yeah. That fuck that little 19 year old fool. That guy sucked ass. He was a nervous little bitch.

And look at me now. I'm very depressed. Also with us is Theo, who has had half of the world's radius joint and two schooners at Ted and is freaking the fuck out. Yeah. Theo, are you OK? You look like shit, dude. You're sweating a lot. I thought the joint would let me kind of see things in a different light.

Yeah. Yeah. And it has a worse light. A worse light. You fucked up dude. Grass before beer, you're in the clear. Beer before grass, don't do it. What about beer and grass at the same time?

Yeah. What is Ted? Toys extra dry. Toys extra dry, yeah. Oh, you've got a, you're calling it Ted? Oh, we call them Teds. Teds, absolutely. Because we're social manually.

Well, we're ordering so many, you kind of need a little abbreviation to kind of get it through. I hated this point in my life. I was, this is, I was the worst person I had ever been and ever had like in my life, they're just sort of like low quality Theo. Yeah. Uh, I also loathed people that were having fun, because I'm like, how do I do that? And that was kind of a point of pride for me how much I loathe the people who are having fun. That

made me feel better than everyone else. Which in retrospect. They're out there dancing with their popped collars and their confidence. Slugs. Fucking slugs. Yeah, slugs. You're a slug. You're a slug. You're a slug. You're a fucking slug. It's such a horrible fucking attitude to have. It's like a coping mechanism that to sort of invert your social anxiety and your inability to join in and be like, you know what, it's everybody else in the room.

Yeah. I'm Rorschach actually. Yeah. I'm Rorschach-ing at Fridays. I'm also so confident about my, my dress and my fit that I'm not gonna ask anybody for any feedback at any point ever. And if anyone did give you unsolicited feedback. Yeah.

It's meltdown time. Well, that's right. What are we talking like business shirt with the pinstripes? Business shirt with the pinstripes. Business shoes? Plain, we're not down there yet. We're talking black belt.

Black belt, yep. Black belt, medium sized buckle. No, nothing interesting there. Black dress pants and also black shoes rounded on the, on the toes. Black leather shoes though. Right. Black, black leather shoes, but like I've, I've come from like trumpet practice. shoes though, right? Black leather shoes, but like I've come from like trumpet practice.

I'd like to thank you so much for sharing that detail because that's such a guy, that's a specific guy from your type and you can still see them around. I saw a couple of those guys the other day. Some people are still that guy. It's amazing. Like the fashions have changed, but there is a specific sort of indoor-y, computer-y person that hits 19 on 20 and they're still like, hair is somehow the exact wrong length, halfway in between being long hair and short hair, wire frame glasses, big jeans, round leather, black shoes, belt that seems inappropriate for the jeans, and maybe like a polo shirt, but like not a business polo shirt, like a casual polo shirt you get from Rivers. Yes. Yeah. Like a knockoff Ralph Lorenz. I saw one of those guys hopping out of his crossover with like a fussy little paper. What do they call the thing?

What do they call the thing you put paper on. Clipboard. They had a fussy little clipboard. What do they call the thing you put paper on? Yeah. Probably heading into Umart. Oh man. I was, we went and got some dinner the other night at a Japanese place in

Tawang and there was a table of guys that were clearly in like first or second year UQ like either engineering or IT students where like half of them were sort of dressed like this, the other half were dressed kind of coolish. And I was just like, Oh, geez, a Lou, that was the group of people I was sitting with at the time. And we thought we were the smartest, funniest people in every room that we were in and that we were, I don't know. It's crazy.

It's crazy to see that from the outside. Maybe you just were. Maybe it was correct. Yeah. When we all got into Primus at the same time. It's pretty rough. Also, where this is Andrew, who's offering to buy a single cigarette off someone for a dollar and promising that this light is definitely coming back.

Hey, Andrew. Hey, what's up? Seriously, you ever do that? You ever pull that move? You pretend to offer a dollar for the cigarette. But you're not really, you don't really Seriously though. You ever do that? You ever pull that move? You pretend to offer a dollar for the cigarette? But you're not really, you don't really want it. You know that they're going to say, ah, you know.

Don't worry about it. Oh, just have it. Maybe not now with what things cost. Yes. I was reminded, I was reminded of something from this, this era recently, which was, um, that epoch, that epoch, um, back when everybody smoked because it was affordable and it was good for you, which we knew in the early 2000s. We knew it was good for you.

Yeah. Opens the lungs up. Uh, and, and yeah, and people would ask each other for a dot. People would ask each other for a cigarette and like, people would often phrase it as, uh, Hey, have you got a spare cigarette? Yeah. And my brother who smoked at the time would always reply, no, I smoke all the spare ones first. That's just good.

That's good gear. Before we had memes, we had like a few people who were ahead of the curve, who heard the cool sentences first. Just a few people's older brothers. And they would kind of decree them from on high. Yeah and you see it happen and go oh we got him. Shit that's a good one. Fucking got him. Imagine being the first person to call taxi when someone drops a glass. Oh everyone like stops and looks around. Oh you mean party fail? Jesus Christ. Shut up. I learned that in America. That's awful.

That's horrible. The internet kind of robbed having the good sentence or the good thing of any power because like someone comes up with something good like, no, I smoked the spare ones first now and six months later, the Batuta advocate has put it in a book they publish of like stuff you can say to sound more Bogan. I do have to say, we do use the term party foul frequently, but it is as part of our parenting.

For your kids, for me, like a bummer. For like harshing your vibe. Like when they drop their beer? Yeah. Well, like, because a lot of our parenting is vibe-spaced. A lot of our parenting is about communicating. Crystals. Chakras. Well, like communicating the gray lines of interacting in a society. You can't just be trotting out like black and white rules all the time.

Sometimes you've got to explain that something is like, yeah, you can legally do it, but it makes you kind of a dick. Yeah. You know? Perfectly legal. That's something that I think more people need to know is that a lot of rules in this life that are technically fine, but it's just kind of like a dud thing to do. That's kind of what this podcast is about.

It's communicating the dud thing to do to a bunch kind of what this podcast is about. It's communicating the dud thing to do to a bunch of people who are maybe learning some rules by rote. Hey, if you are from America, you're maybe not familiar with Fridays. You might think, are they talking about TGI Fridays? Which I think we do also have some of over here now. It's just fucked up. But no, I thought you were just like abbreviating TGI Fridays to like, you go there all the time. Let's go to Fridays. Oh, do you guys not have Fridays?

No, we don't have Fridays. Maybe it's just a Queensland thing. And that's not TGI. I don't know if it's a Queensland thing. Is it, I thought it was just a specifically underneath that building at Eagle Street Pier thing. Well, no, because I've never been to the Brisbane one. I went to the Sunshine Coast Fridays.

There's multiple Fridays. Is that a club? It's a club. Yeah. And like every- Don't trick me into saying club. So the Sunshine Coast one, every time that you go in it, are there always like the worst people you've ever seen exiting it? Like you go in and you stand in line and there are just like a procession of like

pallet swapped real estate agents? Like 20 year old junior partners of their dad's fucking law firm just strolling out of it? I only went on student nights so I don't know what the profile generally is. I do remember the last time I was there. I don't know if this is still a club staple or not, but at one point they sort of like stopped the music to do a sex positions contest. Yes. Just like a, if you and a partner can demonstrate the most sex positions in

the shortest amount of time, you get, you know, a couple of free beers. And I do recall that the song they put on while this is happening was like a G6 after they had already played it so many times. So if you're under 30, I want you to know that $3 Basics was real. $2 Basics was real. $2 Basics, sometimes if you got there early enough. Yeah. And you can buy like a jug full of vodka and Red Bull for like 10 bucks and then watch your friend drink the entire jug and then puke the contents of their stomach back into the jug and place it on the shelf near the pool table.

What do you reckon? If that is your thing. Yeah, if you're into that. If you're into that, go back 15 years in time. What do you think a Jägerb bomb is running you at a bar these days? $20. It doesn't bear thinking. It's just...

When we used to get Jaeger bombs back in this era. Oh yeah, which felt very cool at the time as well. It felt awesome. Yeah, yeah. And you know, we're all familiar with the concept. You drop the shot glass in, you slam it down. My beautiful wife, however, would daintily tip her, tip her Jägermeister into the glass of Red Bull and then just walk around sipping it.

I love our little sandwich. It's so awesome. What? It tastes good. And it does. What a combo. Winning combo. Ruined by the jocks of the world, you know? Yeah, it used to be just for more refined people. It's what you could get in like a Viennese cafe. How good is it that Jäger managed to rebrand itself as like the drink of the dicklord when before it was like a weird,

herbal, bitter sipping aperitif I was gonna say. From mountainous Germanics. Red Bull and Jägermeister together the shamanically inclined among us recognize that as being two healing elixirs combined in one drink. The German people, the Austrian people meeting in the middle. You know what I want? Beautiful Bavaria? I need a, no, not, like for Red Bull, I need an equal quantities drink of Jägermeister and the Red Bull that comes in the little square medicine bottle from Thailand. Yeah, that's the good one. You know, the one that's like, it's just straight syrup. It's just the straight Red Bull syrup.

I reckon you could do a 50-50, Jäger. I don't think I could drink Red Bull anymore. You can get the real mud from Thailand? When I was like, I don't know, I guess it would have been 22 or 23 or whatever. This person I know used to throw a monthly like lesbian dance party. Theo, did you ever come to a Cheated Hearts actually?

Have I ever been to one of my friends' lesbian dance parties? We were friends at the time. No. Cheated Hearts held at a bunch of different venues. Anyway, it used to always fall on the Wednesday night that was after my monthly payday. Oh no. Because all of my friends were beautiful lesbians, I would go along and sort of secondhand engage in the life drama of these wonderful women who all fucking hated each other

and were all having sex with each other by spending all of my money on vodka red balls to a point where I was just like blackout drunk, but so energetic that I was just still moving around with incredible speed. Your body piloting itself around. It's not a combination that sets you up for success the next day. I have to say. Yeah. This is an awesome podcast.

You want to hear a bunch of old f**ks talk about coming out. That's just an espresso martini now, right? Yeah, these days. The espresso martini is just a rebranded Jaeger bomb. Oh, I make my wife an espresso martini when she gets home from work on a Friday and she's like, that's all over. And I go, Hey, how about a little pick me up? Yeah. How about five of these? Then we go and fight someone. Every now and then I will make a vodka Red Bull. Uh, now and then when I've like got some Red Bull

in the fridge for whatever reason. And it's when we're having a dinner party and I'm already drunk and I go, Ooh, I'm going to go and make the assholes delight. Just run out of the room and come back with vodka Red Bulls. I think a monster would pair well with vodka. You get like a peach flavored monster. A little vodka in there. That sounds nice. A little martini.

A little monstini. Oh, a monstini? Trademark. Trademark. Monstinis, anyone? We'll do some R&D for a monstini recipe and you'll find that on the Patreon. Fridays. I guess that was a smallish business.

We talk about smallish businesses in Small Business Watch. Lucy, have you had the Monster Energy coffee? Oh, that sounds awful. Sounds rancid. Yeah, it's fucked up. It's so unnecessary. We don't have to keep coming up with new things, I think. There's a coffee V as well. There's a black V that's coffee flavored, I believe.

Oh boy. I don't need that. I have not interacted with energy drinks since I got married, I think. Yeah. I've sort of interacted with them mostly just by putting the cans of Monster in the recycling bin from when Lucy's been at the house, but like, otherwise I don't interact with them at all. Monster Java.

It's canned coffee. What do you need so much energy for Lucy? Cause I'm down here like all the time. My base level is like down here. Yeah me too. I'm talking to a group of high energy like individuals. I need my little can of pastel coloured V every single day. Oh I love those ones.

Are we talking like the lychee and pineapple? There's like four different pastel colored flavors. I like the green apple one. That sounds so nasty. You're not even gaming. Not even gaming. Like you're not using that energy to game. I'm not using it for much really.

It's just a little afternoon pick me up. I've actually heard that with neuro spicy brains, it can actually be really critical in sort of regulating. Yeah, that's it. It's really, it's actually really tiring to be drinking a white monster. Yeah. This is from KGTV news in San Diego. 12 gas lamp quarter businesses sue city for not enforcing sidewalk vending law.

Pretty dry. Take matters into your own hands, fellas. Sort of a, sort of just a little legal stoush. Maybe there's some zoning issues going on here. The kind of stuff our listeners go fucking nuts for. Yeah. Ben, I think I saw a video. Yeah.

Yeah. You would have, because that's what got me onto this. Yeah. I'm a business owner reacting to one of these street vendors, but I'll let you get into the story first. Twelve businesses in the Gaslamp Quarter. Isn't that one of those bands that you listen to, Lucy? Yeah, Gaslamp.

The Gaslamp Quarter? The Gaslamp Quarter. Why are they dressed like that? They sound like Bruce Springsteen. What's the fucking deal? Dwell businesses in the Gaslap quarter are taking legal action against the city of San Diego. Mayor Todd Gloria and the city council alleging negligence and interference with prospective

economic advantage due to inadequate enforcement of the city's sidewalk vending ordinance. Woo! Get to the juice. Shut up. Is this the hot dog thing? I trusted you. I know. It's the hot dog thing.

Yes. The Gaslamp businesses claim the city has the capacity to enforce the law, but it's chosen not to do so. Their lawsuit seeks $12 million in damages and aims to compel the city to address the issue of illegal hot dog vendors. Yes. The establishments include Brooklyn dogs. Okay.

That makes sense. You've got all the overheads of running a hot dog restaurant. Some guys out on the sidewalk. You're bringing inferior, but cheaper dog. Yeah. Third of the price. He doesn't have the overheads you do because he's not a brick and mortar story. He's a guy with a cart.

Yeah. He just does you and say hot dogs. He's got dollar dogs. His card is actually also probably his only belonging. So you've got the overhead of like your Mercedes. Yes. And your other Mercedes. Your place you sleep.

You've got to pay for someone to Uber each hot dog in from New York City. That's right. Cafe Olay. Maybe they do hot dogs as well. Chiefty Cafe. Stupid name, so let's strike them off the lawsuit. Donor Mediterranean Grill. Might have a donor hot dog on there.

Maybe that sounds tight as fuck though. I'm keen to try that. Casablanca Lounge. I just want to stress that this is written CASA dash blanker. I don't like splitting it into two words. It is strange. It's confusing and scary. Gas lamp snack shop?

Sure. Yeah, might have a little role in it. Greystone Prime Steakhouse? Now look, I think the idea that if someone out of the street was going to come in, they were right about to walk in off the street and say, you know what? I'm going to have that 90 day dry aged A1 Wagyu that you've got there on the menu for $400.

But actually, I think I smell a hot dog. I can smell a $1.50 hot dog. You're going to smell a hot dog. I can smell a dollar fifty hot dog. You're gonna smell a hot dog. Honestly, you're joking, but I can picture that happening to me. That's honestly as good as the steak. Like you're weighing up the factors. I gotta wait for the steak to come out. Mm-hmm.

Plus it'll be 50 bucks. Hot dog's right there. It's rotating on that little hot dog rotator. What are you getting on a Brooklyn dog? Like are they- A Brooklyn style dog? Yeah. Question. Don getting on a Brooklyn dog? Like are they- A Brooklyn style dog? Yeah. Question.

Don't even joke about that dude. Legit hands down the best type of dog there is. We're just- I got no fucking idea. I don't, I don't know. I only know the- Just got flagged on Spotify a bit. You like the Chicago dog, right Andrew? That's your guy.

I do like a Chicago dog. Sport Pepper. I like a Seattle dog. What's on a Seattle dog? Cream cheese and grilled veggies Yeah, okay. All right. Real good. This isn't I don't want to delve too deeply into this because that's The other podcasts have done this so much, but have you guys seen the chart of like every style of hot dog? Yeah, I would love to spend my days working my way through it I don't think there's a Brooklyn style, by the way.

Brooklyn style is- Oh, I'm just thinking like New York style, right? I'm looking at one here. It's got a natural casing, all beef frankfurter topped with spicy brown mustard and sauerkraut. That's how I like my dogs. Okay, pretty straightforward. Good classic.

Okay, this is somewhat fucked up actually. I'm looking at it now. The thing I was thinking of includes salty peppers from Peru, which is diced hot dog on chips with sauce. It's not a hot dog. It also includes the bar Mee. As a hot dog? I think you might be trying to universalize the idea of the hot dogs. Slightly too far. Japan's entry is a hot dog slice to look like an octopus.

Yes. Wonderful. Yep. Cool. Wonderful. Yep. Cool Great Jane our deli sure sausages, whatever maybe nature's kitchen hmm Like you reckon that sort of people that are going to nature's kitchen like ooh street hot dog, that's my guy Mmm, there's a little joke about how maybe he's got a big in it. Yeah, that's right. That's right. There's a little joke about how there's no meat in it. Maybe he's got vegan dogs.

Yeah, that's right. That's right. Because it's a Jib Mats. Urban India? Again. Come on. I was just about to step in here for a sit down dinner. Yeah.

Then I smelled the hot dog. I smelled the dog. A little smell of the dog for you. They've probably got a bell. They're probably ringing a bell. I honestly, I am so like, I would be so susceptible to this. You're a very sensory, sensual person. You're susceptible to the senses.

I am. I kind of feel things quite strongly as well. You have synesthesia. You smell a hot dog and you think of a hot dog. Of a hot dog. You have synesthesia. You smell a hot dog and you think of a hot dog. Of a hot dog. One thing that I will definitely say I think I'm a little jealous of, maybe more so from movies than real life, is seeing things set in like New York or wherever and there's just

guys on the corner and you can walk past and get a real cheap hot dog. Oh man, that's not a movie thing. You can get pizza by the slice and you can walk past it will get a real cheap hot dog. Oh man, that's not a movie thing. You get pizza by the slice, you know. You would not fucking believe the density of the hot dog guys in New York. It's like every fucking 10 meters there's another guy and it's not just hot dogs. They have like fucking everything, but they are, there's more of them than you would possibly imagine. It seems like a joke, but they are just, it's hot dogs everywhere.

We can barely move for hot dogs. Like laws against this, right? There's like, we don't have street vendors like this that I can think of. I guess not. We have like food trucks, but like, yeah, food trucks. And they're always like, Hey, with a little trailer. And I was thinking of food trucks when I was trying to think of like something equivalent of the like smell.

You know, when you kind of walk out of the office with the office friends Yeah, you what do you reckon we should get and you smell it? Food truck day. Yeah, they got that Brazilian barbecue place. Yeah, just pulled up out the front and you go shit What should we do for dinner and And they all say, we've got other plans. You guys want to grab a beer after this? So we all have something else that we've committed to. Oh, sorry. I have one more business here.

Rockin' Baja Lobster. Fuck yes. You're not stopping me with a hot dog. You're not stopping me from getting in there by proffering a hot dog. If the dollar dog guy is cutting your grass from people who went out to get rockin' Baja lobster, you're fucked. Yeah, that's your problem. You gotta, something's gotta give.

Something has to change. In the lawsuit, the businesses describe how the unlicensed vendors have stolen and driven away their customers. Businesses describe how the unlicensed vendors have stolen and driven away their customers. Quote, I lose between $1,500 and $2,000 a night said Marius Sitto with Ghost Heist Tacos, formerly Donor Mediterranean Grill. Yeah. Firstly, not true. Ghost Heist Tacos.

Absolutely not true. Also, you've had to change your business to a totally different business. And why would, why would a donor place be more susceptible to being like sniped by hot dog vendors than a taco place? Like, shit, we've got to start making tacos? We've got to pivot to tacos. And 1500, like is this guy just like out on the hot dog guy? Is he just fucking, is he a machine? Well there's a bunch of them. Just like flipping the hot dogs in the air, but surely they're limited by the amount of curb space

Let's let's say they're dollar 50 dogs, right generously, let's be We're in Biden's America now two dollars. Well, yeah, let's let's be generous and say that they're that they are $2 dogs You're saying that the hot dog cart out the front of your business stopped 1000 people from coming in overnight. I guess you're calculating it based on the food that you're selling, right? They spent $2 with the hot dog vendor, but they would have spent $80 with you. They would have spent $80 in your restaurant. I reckon that's unfair.

I also- Because they're not getting. Oh, see that's... Yeah. I reckon that's unfair. I also like... Because they're not getting that much from the hot dog, man. They're simply getting a hot dog, a humble hot dog. I'm basing this on sort of Brisbane hospitality numbers, but between $1,500 and $2,000 a night is a crazy chunk of like a weeknight hospitality cashflow. Yeah, that's enormous. That is enormous.

Fuck, man. Gotta say, Rockin' Baja Lobster looks fucking good. I mean it sounds good. That name is very evocative of a good time. I love Baja Mexico. I love lobster. I know they have good margaritas. I just know that. Rock and roll. You know you're coming here and it's a fun time. The Memorial Day weekend special Looks like menus back on the menu. Their Memorial Day weekend special only $89.99 for two. Okay see there it is that's why the hot dog guys kind of pipping you. $89.99 for two but you get a whole lobster, snow crab clusters, skirt steak, Baja style shrimp, grilled chicken and two Caesar salads, plus fried

ice cream to share. Is there no drink included in that? Fried ice cream. That's a lot of seafood and steak. That's a quality, that's a big night out though. That's for you and a hefty friend. Yeah. You call her hefty?

That's for two big boys. Are you bringing your huskiest boy along? Yeah, that's just the big boy special. Two big units, one lobster, Caesar salad, snow crab croquettes or whatever. Oh Ben, I think you'd be very interested in their seasonal cocktails to go with your Memorial Day weekend special. They currently have spicy mango ranch water. You never encountered ranch water?

Now we're talking. Isn't that a tequila or soda? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Is that what we call that? Ranch water is a cocktail typically made with tequila, lime juice and topo chico sparkling mineral water. Oh, okay. Fucking delicious.

What I be drinking all the time. I was picturing a ranch, like American Ranch. You're thinking like a ladle in a trough? Yeah. And the horse is drinking out of the other end of the trough right now. It's like doing a shoey, but it's what a horse has been drinking from. Into a horsey? Cito said illegal hot dog vendors have significantly impacted their revenue, forcing them to change

what they sell. Quote, it used to be a shawarma place because the pricing was a little bit higher than the hot dog stands out there. We switched businesses and we decided to do a taco shop. This is rookie bullshit to me. That's a terrible move. You got spooked? You weren't confident in yourself or your vision or your product?

Yes. Yes, yes. I don't even think they're talking about the same... And you said, oh, I want to place on the taco instead, would you like me then? It's needy, it's desperate. They're not even talking about the same segment of customers, right? Surely having a more expensive one is good because... Yeah, you don't want to be competing. It puts you in a different category.

You don't want to be competing on price with the hot dog man. If you're willing to change from being a shawarma place to a taco place, because you're trying to match the hot dog place, just fucking start selling hot dogs. You don't have the heart of the cards. Just sell hot dogs. If you're willing to flip, you never had the heart of the cards at all. Yes. Yes. Like, because if you truly believed in your shawarma vision, you'd still be

doing shawarma, but differently. If you just like, nah, fuck it, we're doing tacos. You don't, you don't have the heart of the cuts. You don't love tacos. You don't live and breathe tacos because two weeks ago you were shawarma. No, the customer can sense that and they don't want you fucking pathetic tacos. Yeah. They can taste it in your soulless tacos.

Yeah. They go in and they can tell, I think, I think the people here, this place, they're still living in Lovita, Shwama. Taking a bite of a taco and saying, babe, does this sound like it was made by a man with a dead heart? I don't think that whoever made this taco has an aboiler. I don't taste an aboiler of this taco. Turning to check if my wife likes the taco She's already spitting hers onto the floor of the restaurant saying is it too late for us to get a hot dog? Yeah Can I get a refund and can I have the refund in singles? God just standing up at the restaurant being like fuck this place hot dogs for everyone on me

Let's go outside. Making a rain singles for the hot dog man. Singles for the hot dog. In February, the city council revised to 2022 ordinance, able to crack down on illegal street vending, street vending, even if licensed is banned year round in the gas lamp quarter. Although the city council revised an ordinance in February, 2022 to address illegal street vending, CITO CIT enforcement remains ineffective with law enforcement ignoring violators. Probably free dogs to the boys in blue.

Dogs for the pigs. Oh, will this change your mind? Maybe? A couple of dogs? Oh, officer, it's so nice to see you. You like your Chicago style, right? I have three Chicago style dogs right here for you. See, and you know, they can't really offer this kind of bribe at the steakhouse

because you can eat a hot dog and play Candy Crush at the same time. Oh, it's a pig friendly dog. Wait, was it, what is this in New York? Is this in San Diego? What was I saying? San Diego. Why was I saying New York the whole fucking time? Because it was Brooklyn dogs.

Brooklyn dogs. Brooklyn dogs. Yeah. Brooklyn just shot in there. Where you're going to have to change the perfect accents. You've been doing this whole time. Asino said the unlicensed hot dog vendors have completely crushed his business. Then you never had a business to start with, brother.

Yes. Yeah. Look inwards. I can't compete with a hot dog stand. You can't compete with a guy who has the like Kmart 40 litre tub full of hot dogs out the front of your place. You gotta offer something a little bit more. Based off the video I saw, they weren't selling like elaborate hot dogs.

No, okay, so the video Andrew's talked about is a guy closed his business permanently and then saw the first hot dog vendor he could find and then beat him up. I- Oh, that's not good. I just saw a little clip of a guy like kind of rushing after a hot dog vendor, grabbing his hot dog vending cart and hurling it into the street and then turning a

Walk away. Yes. I did not see an assault other than on the hot dog cart itself. The hot dog cart seemed a lot like it was filled with Hot dogs in a big hot bucket of water and plain buns. Yes, if you're getting fucked out of your business by that I'm sorry. These are tough economic times. And I know a lot of people will be diverted to the hot dogs if they look good enough, but you really are competing for a different kind of meal. Yeah. You want someone to sit down, you know, like if I, if I'm, if I want like, you know, if I'm, if I'm ready to be sated, if I want a meal, a hot dog from

a street vendor for a dollar is not really cutting it for me. Two probably would get me pretty good though. Two's a great number of hot dogs. Oh, and you got cans of Dr Pepper in a cooler? We're all set. We're all set here, brother. Oh, dope. You've got Tab?

You've got Tab and hot dogs? I'm sorted. Hey, if you were one of these restaurant owners and you saw a hot dog cart coming, that'd be a bad sign. We look at bad signs in omens importance. You shall see hail fall from a clear sky and burn as fire upon the ground. You shall see darkness cover Egypt when the sun climbs high to noon. And you shall know that God is God. Bow down to his will. This comes to us from KPNX in Phoenix, Arizona.

The PNX. Fire burning in Phoenix river bottom. Now, Several. Neil deGrasse Tyson sitting bolt up. Now alright. Issues here. Flames can be seen shooting from the salt river bottom in Phoenix footage from Sky 12 shows.

Emergency crews are at 7th Street near University Drive trying to contain the fire. I mean, it sounds contained if it's like in the river, right? Right? Just don't let it out of the river. Just let it tire itself out. What's going on here? Quote, currently firefighters are gaining fire control and stopping the spread of the flames. Statement from the Phoenix Fire Department said no other details have been released. What do you mean? What do you mean? Does river bottom mean something else?

No, no, it means the bottom of a river. Bottom of the salt river. The river bottom refers to the ground at the bottom of a river. Traditionally, yeah. Oh, AI overview is saying it means the river bed. Yes, yeah, that's a river bed. But like on the, on the edges? I think, I now, my assumption is that the river is currently dry. Okay.

Yeah. It's dry. Because otherwise. And then, so there was water and then all the water went. Now there's fire. Perhaps there's no water in there and there's fire instead. They should have specified that. This world has maybe lost elemental equilibrium.

Yeah, I think that's probably it. We are kind of moving into the Age of Fire. Yes, yeah, we had the Age of Water, Age of Aquarius, never figured out what that means or refers to. Now we're in the Age of whatever's Latin for fire. Igneous. The Age of Igneous. I think it's going to be good. I think the age of fire has got a lot of... Fire is an element of change. Yes.

Yeah. And the phoenix. Fire. Yeah. Cycles. Death. Rebirth. Why not be utterly changed into fire?

Yes. I'm mainly trying not to think too much about climate change while you guys are saying this. Oh, it's something to do with climate change? Climate what? It seems bad, but it does open for... You can now do like the opening dialogue from The Crow in Phoenix now. That guy talks about how the river caught fire at the start of the movie The Crow. Can't rain all the time.

It can't rain all the time. It can't rain all the time. In fact, it's not going to rain at all for a little while. Especially in Phoenix. Yeah, and then when it stops raining, a lot of stuff's just going to sit on fire. The rain turns out was keeping the fire away, as far as we can tell. That was structural rain, actually. We desperately needed that. We need, yeah. I'm sure everything's going to be all right.

I don't think climate change is stuff we should chat about. But there's other stuff we should chat about. And we talk about that in Stuff We Should Chat About. Here comes some stuff we should chat about. Stuff we should chat about. Boots are a list of stuff to chat about. Stuff we should chat about. Here a bit of time to talk about stuff that grinds our gears you know or our gears having been ground recently, historical gear grindings.

And I do have to talk about something that happened recently. Actually, I've got to talk about you, Ben. Oh, shit. Oh, no. There's something we should talk about. Maybe not on the podcast. Maybe we should take it offline. It is about Ben.

Do we need to offline this? Do we need to circle back? Well, you said something a few weeks ago that I on the show. It's live. It's out there And I disagree with it on a fundamental level. I didn't address it at the time But it has sat with me uncomfortable for some weeks now Wow. All right. I'm listening. I'm open My heart is ready and willing Wow. All right, I'm listening. I'm open.

My heart is ready and willing. You described yourself on the show as having an oafish walk. Yeah, big lumbering fuckhead with an oafish gait. Certainly, yeah. And I take issue with this. I think it's a really inaccurate description of yourself. I think that you have an ambling gait. I don't think it's oafish.

I think you're an ambler. I think you're a rambling man. Yes. How would you characterize ambling? Ambling? Ambling is a relaxed stride, you know? Like you guys, whenever you're walking around with Ben, are you ever thinking, thinking oh this fucking klutz

This oafish piece of shit Oh, are you having like a relaxed conversation with a wonderful friend? He moves with a sprinkle of of wanderlust Moves to the beat of jazz That part I agree. Yes. Sometimes to the rhythm of the streets. It's the relaxed cadence of a man living life on his own terms. You know?

So that's just been on your mind. Yeah. I've been thinking about it for a while. Makes me think of the Patterson Gimlin documentary. I do feel like I walk like that Bigfoot a little, although she takes big, beautiful strides in that. It's real relaxed and confident. you know, that is true swinging that head over. Yep titties swinging from the exertion fat ass jostling around Beautiful sexy Bigfoot woman Milford a prime This might help to explain the spiritual connection that you have with the noble Sasquatch. I got the big foot walk. I appreciate that very much.

So that's what I wanted to chat about. Thank you so much. I thought it was going to be a complaint about like a customer service experience that you would have, but sort of generalized, take it to a universal instead of a specific. Cause that's a good way to do your complaints. Cause then people, people don't criticize you as much. No, no. I just, I spent the last week or two going, he described himself as oafish. I should have pushed back on that. I do feel very oafish sometimes. That's not how you seem, you know. Thank you so much.

We don't have a lot of oafs around here. I'll tell you who's an oaf. That Uncle Sam. It's time for America Watch. You should have said freaking Donald Trump. Donald Tramp more like because he's a big dirty slut. Donald Tramp. He's fucking and sucking like crazy. Has anyone ever said that? That's what I dislike about him.

He's wearing all that whore-ish makeup. He's doing those kissy faces. I might agree with his views and his actions and what he's done in his presidential terms, but I hate he's sexually liberated. He's promiscuous. That I will not stand for. It is like, it is very important to note that Donald Trump is a man who takes the time to fuck. Oh, he's fucking.

He's fucking. It might disgust you to think about it. You might find it repugnant, but he is absolutely fucking. That man is indulging in pleasures of the flesh. He's putting on his favorite- Poorly got a little mushroom wet. Poorly. He's not doing a good job of it.

No. Only gratifying himself. He doesn't care about the other, but he is like- He's taking his time. He's putting on his, he's putting on his favorite Barbra Streisand mix tape before he throws down. Yeah. And he's making it spurt.

He's probably had like the most comes in the, the little bathroom that's just off the oval office of anyone in presidential history. I don't know if I agree. I think he performatively has sex. I don't think he enjoys it. Oh, do you think it's only to gratify the ego, not for sexual pleasure? Yes. I don't believe that he is horny.

No, I actually, if we're, if we're being honest here, I'm with Lucy. Let's be serious for a second. Let's be serious. Let's be real. Let's get real just for a second. Uh, I agree. Let's diagnose the president. I agree with Lucy.

He strikes me as like an asexual being. Yeah, I don't think he's asexual, but he does it. He's fucking like Patrick Bateman reasons. Yeah. Like, yeah, American psycho style. He receives no joy from it. Maybe he just does it because that's what he thinks that you're supposed to do. There's no feeling in the mushroom?

I think there's no feeling in the mushroom. I think he's feeling it the whole time. He's getting that utter milk. Christ. I'm going to have to put it minority opinion. Can I just push back on what you're saying for one second? I think he is actually feeling wonderful pleasure whenever someone is pumping that little mushroom for squirts.

I'm not saying that that's the reason he's doing it. I do agree that there is some sort of super weird thing going on here where to him, this is just natural. This is just, you see. It's a conquest. It's power. Yeah, it is. It, I do agree with that part, but at the same time, I think that he probably feels marvelous while it's coming out.

I may not like him, but I think he does feel a sort of divine bliss when he's lying face down on the massage table with a hole cut out where the penis is, or someone underneath the table expresses him. Folks, if you have a firm opinion about whether or not US President Donald Trump has any sensation in the tip of his penis, write into mailbag at buntavista.com and let us know. Is he fucking for pleasure? Yeah. Or is it just because it's all he knows what to do?

Is he like humans and dolphins? Or is he closer to a worm? I do suddenly really want to know like what his bed frame looks like in his private residence, you know? I just like knowing, knowing the really garish shit that he likes. Gaudi. Franco Conso. Designed by Gaudi?

All the like, all the golden filigree kind of shit that he puts on there. Yes, he has my exact taste. Yes. Yes. I've put an image in the chat actually of the bedroom, possibly remodeled since this photo shoot, but you know the Trump tower photos with the gold toilet. He's got a quite elaborate bedroom set up there.

Oh, it's gorgeous. Yeah, very Frank O'Clock. Lucy would feel delightful there, I think. I think, think I think I don't know Lucy have you ever like disclosed that you would I think you would probably happily live in this house and also dress like a soprano's wife yeah yeah yeah that checks out yeah the cheetah print real imagine if it was real cheetah though yeah imagine that'd be cool as fuck. It's time for America Watch. I thought we

were watching America for ages. America. This comes to us from W B O Y in Pittsburgh. The boy. Oh, from the boy? A herald from the boy? The boy's here with the news. My liege, a message from the boy. Man charged with giving alcohol to 20 year olds who fell from

stands at pirates game. Again with this. To the country. Oh, that's such a, I don't know if you've seen that video. All right. Now in case Theo and Lucy, if you haven't seen the video, there is a link to a clip there in the document. I'm not watching someone get hurt.

No, you kind of really have to. I'm sorry. This is mandatory. This is part of your job. You're paid for this. Yeah, he does get really hurt though. This motherfucker does like a crazy number of flips before he hits the ground. Oh no.

He perfectly folds over the balcony and just ragdolls. I saw an account from some, Oh, there he goes. Oh, Quintuple flip. Oh, they've at least they've edited the impact. Oh my goodness. Yeah You don't think a human would flip like that. Oh, he doesn't fall though. Like he dumped to do that Well, I'm trying to flip so I saw an account from a lady who was in the section and she was like Oh, he didn't mean to do it like there'd been lots of speculation about like

Oh, he was trying to climb down to streak or he was doing whatever And this lady was like, oh no, he was just shit-faced and real excited and just kind of jumped one way hit the railing and just That yeah as soon as he pops off that railing the fucking Havoc physics kicks in and he's Like an NPC the in and he's no longer like an NPC. The moment that he's... The euphoria engine turns fully odd the moment he's off the balcony. 100%

It's like a horizontal spinning grandma. He's just... Skull, spine, ribs and lungs. Give that man a sip of the ice cold liquor of life. Now when I read this, I had assumed that the order of events was the other way around. That he had flipped off the balcony and someone was like, you deserve a beer, and then gave him a beer. Yeah, 100%. Yeah, no, it's not that. It's that someone was giving him alcohol and then he fell and did five flips.

Oh, and he can't be trusted. 20 year old? Just a child? No, he's just a child! Just a kid! Maybe he's not used to it though. He's not used to drinking alcohol. So he's had three mid-strength beers at the fucking, at a Pittsburgh Pirates game. He's had three beers and he's off his face. Yeah. He's off his beautiful little 20 year old tits and he's just done a quintuple flip into the dirt and all because someone gave him three Kers lights. I believe that's how they pronounce it.

You gotta, you gotta, you gotta bring drinking back into the heart. You gotta get him ready. You gotta, you gotta, you gotta bring drinking back into the home. You gotta get them ready. You gotta give your 16 year old a beer. You've gotta start early. Otherwise this is what happens. It's Saturday night, you're in the garage, you're sweaty and you're listening to Soundgarden and your boy walks in. Yeah. Hey Craven.

Craven the Hunter my son. Whose full first name is Craven the Hunter. Do you want one mid-strength beer? Just get him primed. For when he goes to PNC Park. Give a course to Craven the Hunter. Sit down, sit down. Wait a bit and tell me how this feels. See what you notice.

T plus five minutes. Feeling pretty fucking good about Soundgarden. Flat what you notice. T plus five minutes feeling pretty fucking good about sound cutting. If we are to learn anything from, from the noble Nakmoy, the practitioners of Muay Thai kickboxing, they get out there and they kick young, young, young palm trees, young coconut trees. Cause they want to strengthen the shin. All right, okay. And then they go into battle appropriately seasoned. You don't want to just be going in there

for the very first time and saying, what if someone now blasts my shin bone on bone? And I find out what it's like for the very first time. Ouchy. You want- It's so ouchy. When they get to the ballpark and they take that sip of beer, that should be their 10,000th beer.

They should have complete control mastery over the beer. Malcolm Gladwell, like drinking beer. If you're going to the game and you're going to slam a couple of beers, the first beer shouldn't count. You should be at the level in your life where you make the first beer disappear. And that brings you up to zero. You've been at negative one all day. Yes, you've been at negative.

Yeah. You want to be kind of shaky before you get to the ballpark. You want to be having that beer by the time you get the total illusions. You want to have bloodshot eyes, be pallid and visually upset. Yeah, I mean, this is just how we're doing in Australia, Zol. This is just our- Well, this is our culture. This is our culture.

And you're listening to an Australian podcast, so we're gonna talk about our culture. And if you think there's something sick or unhealthy about this, fuck off. Fuck you. Fuck you. You're right, but fuck off. Yeah, you're entirely correct, but fuck you. We don't have anything else.

This is all we got. Okay? You guys drink like fucking losers. We drink like cool guys. Don't make us start saying stuff about your country. If you're going to say stuff about our country, don't. Just don't. You don't have to hear what we have to say about America for the first time.

They had it coming. According to a news release from the Pennsylvania State Police, Ethan Kirkwood, 21 of McKeesport, Pennsylvania has been charged with furnishing alcohol to minors in connection to the case, a misdemeanor in Pennsylvania that carries a thousand dollar fine upon the first conviction. That is so fucked. You can't just choose what the word minor means. This grown 21 year old adult was giving beers to a minor who was 20 years old. We haven't considered the power imbalance in the relationship of a 21 year old giving

his friend a beer. But surely this should count like Romeo and Juliet rules should count here, right? Like they should kill each other. The age difference is so small. It shouldn't be, if you're a 45 year old uncle and you're given it to an innocent 20 year old, right? Yes. At home in the garage while Metallica's ride the lightning on.

That's one thing. I had the ball game, but, but if you, if your buddies, He's probably three months younger than you. That's right. Your parents did the fucking Malcolm Gladwell thing where they, they held the 21 year old back one year so that he was slightly older so that he did better in all of his tests and therefore was set up for a better life. How do you explain the stupid hair?

You've been... Also like none of the stuff is true. Yeah, no, he just, he just says whatever. You can say whatever. And if you put a bunch of numbers in there, it just sounds very convincing. Yeah. And just put it in like the newspaper or whatever. Yeah. Or a book or a podcast.

The man who fell was 20 year old Kavan Markwood, who was also from McKeesport and had a brief stint as a football player for Wheeling University. Markwood was placed in critical condition after falling from the 21-foot-high Clemente wall while celebrating a two-run double hit by Andrew McCutcheon against the Chicago Cubs on April 30th. Well, it makes sense why he fell like that because he went to Wheeling University. He learned every lesson. Ben, I would actually, I would pronounce that name, uh, Cavan, Mark would. Little closer, little closer to Craven.

I did listen to a news story to check because I was hoping it was a really fucked spelling of Kevin. Yeah. They've gone with Kavan, but who can say? Since the fall, Markwood has begun the path to recovery, telling the public on May 8th that he is all right. Good. So we're allowed to laugh about it.

Quite all right. It's pretty rough. Wait, hang on. It is all right, like A-L-L, R-I-G-H-T. He might have broken his left leg and left arm. It might be an arrested development situation. He's 20. He'll be fine.

He's all right. I really hope that urban legend shit about, like, if you're real drunk in a car crash or, like, about people going, oh, if your body's, like, if you're, if you're real drunk in a car crash or like, um, about people going, Oh, if your body's like really super relaxed, you don't get as injured. I hope that he had had so many cause lights that his body was so relaxed. He probably didn't feel a thing. He'd had three mid-strength beers.

He'd had three, I don't know what they're selling at the ball game. Is it a Miller? Miller Lite. Although they don't use light to mean that, do they? What a- No, they're- They use light to mean calories or like low in calories. People make jokes about Americans drinking light beer. It's not light.

It's a style of beer. Yeah. When we say light beer, it's low alcohol. I would never joke about drinking light beer. But it is light in its malt bill is light, which is characteristic of an American lager as well, so that is certainly a difference. So middle light's 4.2. He's had three of those.

He's unseasoned because he didn't have an uncle, you know, that was making him listen to Ride the Lightning in the garage while drinking a single beer. He didn't start drinking at 13, like a normal Australian. Regular Australian. He gets up there, he's had his three beers, Rush comes on the PA. What are you gonna do? Yeah. X, Y, Z, Z, X, Y. X, X, Y, Z, Y, X, X. Whatever that Rush song is has come on and he's just lost his fucking shit. I had a thought the other day, which was, I was thinking about how like my older daughter is turning 12 this year. And then I thought about how old I was when I started like sneaking booze and smoking weed.

Yeah, it's probably best not to think about. He has since been moved out of the intensive care unit at Allegheny General Hospital and has entered the physical therapy and rehab process. Despite Kirkwood's charge, authorities in Pittsburgh have determined that Markwood's fall was accidental in nature. I hope that the cartwheeling as he fell made him pass out from the G's before he hit the ground. Yeah, like he was in one of those little NASA test things, you know? Hey, that story was from America. We talk about America stuff by continuing to do America Watch. Here's another America Watch story. This is from KARE in Minnesota.

Man awarded $2.4 million after being injured by bullet Nimrod Bulbash. It's right there in the name. Can't complain. He is the Bulbash. Yeah. A man was awarded more than 2.4... Actually, you know what? I was just thinking, we need to bring Nimrod back as something that you call people.

An insult? Yeah. Yeah. Like the Green Day album. You fucking Nimrod. Fuck out of here. That was my favorite album of theirs. It's really good.

I think I'm a dookie man. Yeah. What about the albums? Yeah, there it is. Looking at the Merriam-Webster definition of Nimrod, slang for idiot, comma, jerk. Yeah. That's a good combo of things to call someone in a word. Idiot, jerk.

That's real good. Kind of like a Jag off or a jabroni. Yeah. Or a cocksucker. Yeah, you cocksucker. God, it'd be good to have the accent where that sounds really cool to say. Because if you say it with ours, it just sounds like you're being unbelievably homophobic. Yeah, it's got to have the accent on it.

Yeah, you're a fucking cocksucker, aren't you mate? So sinister. Worst guy you've ever fucking found at the train station. Calling your dog a cocksucker though. Calling your dog a cocksucker. Really funny. Very funny. Especially if your dog looks like that.

I love that. Especially if your dog looks like this. A man was awarded more than $2.4 million in damages after being trampled by a bull during an event at the Nimrod Bull Bash in 2021. It's a long court case. According to court documents, Scott Sellers was quote, gawed and thrown into the air while participating in quote, cowboy softball pretty much a worst case outcome for interactions with a bull i think is to get gourd yes best outcome you become best friends yes worst outcome one of the horns ends up inside of you in some way yeah and

you're now attached to its mesh yes like you have no freedom of your own, you're just sort of getting tossed around on the end of that horn. You have joined hitboxes with the bull. You ever see those photos of like deer who have defeated their friends? Their friends? Defeated their foes in battle and then they just have like some of their gorge dead enemy rotting on their animals? They got little bits of them on there. Very cool. They also have bits of their own flesh rotting on there as well sometimes. Nature is so fucking metal, dude. In an event, sorry, while participating in quote, cowboy softball, an event where members of the audience play softball as bulls run loose around the field. Now again, I kind of ask, where's the part of this story where the guy says, and I never

thought I'd get hurt. Yeah. Yeah. Like on the end of the horn and going like, this is a shock to me. What would the point be of Cowboy Softball if not to get gored or to watch men being gored? Yes. Like that's kind of the danger is kind of the thing.

The action is the juice. Yeah. You know? Like come on now, what are we doing here? Why are we fucking around? It's cowboy softball. Get hit. You sort of have to deal with the consequences.

Get up and shake it off. Or you go to hospital. For a long time. For a very long time, yeah. I think you kind of have to put your chips forward. I think you kind of have to say, okay,. I think you kind of have to say, okay I'll be a part of this world if you want to play Cowboy softball surely they're coming in there like signing a waiver that says there will be bull related hazards That's quite interesting that you say that now

As a keen you get out as a keen legal mind I noticed that you have immediately asked about a waiver. Right? The complaint goes on to say that Sellers never signed a waiver. One simple trick. And was told it was quote, perfectly safe and that quote, no one had ever been hurt during the event. I highly doubt that, but very stupid of them to not have a waiver. Yeah.

It's also, there's no fucking way this is true. Like I think maybe some tougher fellows than Scott Sellers and maybe some more cowboy-ish states, you know, somewhere more in the South, maybe in your, even in your Wyoming's, your Montana's. Yes. Someone's getting hit and they're going, all right, I've been hit, but I chose to play cowboy softball. Scott's just not cowboy enough. You know, what's kind of fucking funny about this to me is the fact that it's

softball, like you've got bulls running around the field, but you're only doing underarm pitches. Whoa, I don't want anyone to get hurt. I think an important omission here and something I would like to know is whether anybody called Scott a pussy at any point. Because that does kind of change the tenor of understanding why a man said, I'll do it. You know what I don't think this guy was playing cowboy softball. I think he was playing softball. Yes. Oh a waiver? I'm sorry, do we have any waivers for pussies? Oh, you want a waiver? Yeah, I'll just go, um, I'm gonna call up the bitch department.

Oh, they've heard of you. Yeah, I didn't even tell you who it was. I said, is this for Scott? They just sort of clocked you when you walked up. Oh, for the pussy who just came in? Yeah. Yeah. And a lot of the times when we say stuff on this show, we're kind of joking. Just saying that as just a little reminder, just to sort of keep you on board with what we're doing. Not everything that we say is serious. Not everything we say is entirely serious. Yeah, that's right. If it were me, I would have signed a waiver.

Yeah, I would have been like, hey... Am I in a country that has health, like public health care? No, I'm not. No. Okay. So I would pay for this if I got gored. It'd be like $250,000 if I got like a scratch. But I don't want to sign that paper that says I'm a big pussy. Yeah, they did put that in the letterhead. See, I would play this game in China.

I've seen those videos where someone gets busted up and they go in and they say, yeah, we'll sort you out. It'll be $5 for the bandages. Yeah. And also, I reckon they're bulls of small. Australia, Japan, probably the other Scandinavian countries, probably most of the European countries. Probably Russia.

The bloody nanny state here would never let you do it. Yeah. Probably the other Scandinavian countries, probably most of the European countries, probably Russia. The bloody nanny stag here would never let you do it. Now to have our first drinks at 13. The press release says Sellers was rushed to Fargo, North Dakota for emergency spinal surgery and later transported by ambulance to an intensive rehabilitation unit in Colorado, where he remained for 75 days. Oh Christ. Imagine that Phil.

He got fucked up. He's on the bench. I don't think he was ever really part of the team. Obviously not. It fucking sucks at this. Is this like when you walk out one of your newbies in like XCOM or what have you? Minced immediately. Minced immediately. Turned into paste.

Just like... Are you kidding? Are you kidding? I think he only took the softball mindset into this, not the cowboy softball mindset. I think he saw a fly ball and he's out, he's left field. Great, I got a good arm. Yeah. And I'm looking directly up and I'm watching it.

I'm tracking it with my eyes. I'm moving backwards. I'm getting ready to catch it. Watching the ball too much. Not watching the bulls. You got to watch both. You got to have one eye up at the ball and one eye across at the bull. One bull eye, one bull eye. Yes. That's right. One eye for the bull, as we say at the Cowboy softball business. Yeah. He has his friend come in 73 days into the 75 days in intensive rehab to say, Hey Scott, just wanted to let you know, you didn't make it through the Cowboy Softball Trials. You didn't get picked. You didn't get picked. I'm sorry to...

Just so there's a lot of other good players, a lot of really talented guys. You did really good, but like, we just, you weren't like a great fit. So you didn't play with a lot of awareness of the bulls on the field. Fundamental part of Cowboy Softball. Go stay lively. The Nimrod Bull Bash has been an annual event

held in Sebeka, Minnesota since 2002. 23 years, no incidents. Is this really the first guy that got fucked up? There's no fucking way. That just cannot be the case. It's the first pussy who went to the cops about it. Yeah. Everyone else kept their shit locked down.

A murder. They just didn't fucking talk about it. You just, you just get your friends to help you to your truck and you go home and you drink 20 cool lights. Put some dirt on it. Yes, let a dog lick it. It'll just get fucking sorted out. If the bull kills you, your family just goes... He knew what he was signing up for. He lived and breathed cowboy softball. The important thing is you get a good story out of it. He grew up playing cowboy tee ball and then when he turned 21. Hey, that was definitely an episode of the podcast. Thank you so, so much for joining us.

Um, we had a blast. I hope you had a blast. If you didn't never let us know. You never want to hear about that shit. Keep it inside. Take it to your grave. Sorry, but keep it inside. Like I understand, maybe you might feel like you have a grievance and that that should probably be aired somewhere. We don't really want it to go anywhere. We want that to stay

internal as much as possible. To bounce around damaging the walls inside. If you will have praise though, we would love to hear that. Theo's not going to believe it. He's going to read it and smile. And then eventually he'll talk himself out of it. Like he won't internalize it in any way. That's if it actually reaches the processing part of my brain. Yeah. But you should definitely try. Stay safe. We have bonus episodes. You can sign up for those as well. patreon.com slash Buntavista if you feel like it in two episodes a week, because it's kind of just like another one of this.

Yeah. It's kind of just like more of this. Also, I have another podcast with Jessie called Savant Gard. If you are, you're just desperate for more podcasts. It's so good. It's such a good podcast. You can head over there and we've also got bonus episodes out. You don't even have to be neurodivergent to listen to it because I'm completely realistic.

It's true though. Yeah. Normal people can listen to it too. Like healthy normal. Yeah, if you're like cool and normal, you can also listen to it. Like you've got the regular sort of SI units brain. Yeah, you can still enjoy it. Or just like anxiety, depression, you know, one of those.

That's what I consider a normal person. One of the cooler ones. Just got one of the average ones. Stay safe out there. We'll talk to you real soon. Bye! Bye! Bye! Thank you. you