Boonta Vista - EPISODE 400: Twisted, Cruel, And Full Of Anecdotes (live at the Brisbane Polish Club)

Starting point is 00:00:00 Hello, it's me, Ben, from the podcast Buntavista. You are about to listen to, hopefully, episode 400 of the podcast Buntavista. This was recorded live on May 31st, 2025 at the Polish Club in Brisbane. You are getting a somewhat edited version of it because due to some very foreseeable circumstances surrounding some Polish beers and some shots of vodka, it got a little sloppy at points. There was a blast for us in person, but some of the extended dialogues with an audience that is not mic'd up might have been very confusing to you. We ended up having to use a backup recording of this that we

Starting point is 00:00:45 had, so while the sound quality is still pretty good, there are a few spots that are going to be a little crunchier, a little poppy, but I think it still sounds pretty good. There are some cuts that are pretty harsh when some stuff was taken out, but overall I think it sounds pretty good. I think it's a fun show, and if you're a fan of Theo, you're going to absolutely fucking love this. I hope you enjoy it. We are still planning on doing some shows in Sydney and Melbourne soon, so keep an eye out for that. Thanks to everyone that came out. We had such a lovely time. I hope you enjoy it. Bye! Hello and welcome to Punta Vista, episode 400, live at the Brisbane Polish Club. That feels nice.

Starting point is 00:01:54 Oh, thank you so much. I am Ben and I'm here in an alternate universe where the format of Buntavista is exactly the same except one host is playing a character. With me is Lucy, who is not playing a character. Hello Lucy. Just do like some classic Lucy stuff. Yeah there it is. Also with me is Andrew, who's also not playing a character. Hey Andrew. Hello. Hey. I'm here regular style. Yes. Oh that's's my friend Andrew. Yo, what up? I love that guy He's here to be me. Yeah, me normal. Yep sick Also with me is Theo who's playing mr. Fingers the strange little man with a stinky little pussy that

Starting point is 00:02:39 That strange little man with a stinky little pussy that's fingering that thing non-stop But can't make it squirt because the stink is too bad. Hey. Hey Theo, or should I say, hello Mr. Fingers. Hello. Hello my friends, I'm Mr. Fingers, the stinky little bastard who loves to finger. Hey, could you stop fingering that thing for one second? Yeah, no, you're right, I do have to stop fingering it because I do better when I'm... Oh no! No!

Starting point is 00:03:06 This is completely unnecessary. Why is he doing that? No! Please continue. He took it off when we got in and he said, this is better. This is better for me. We had a little chat last night, we were hanging out at my house where you were like, you guys said I kind of had like the zoomies last time.

Starting point is 00:03:24 I don't think I had the zoomies last time. I don't think I had the zoomies. You were acting the damn fool. You literally just took your socks off and put your hands down your pants. I can't get them back on. There's no way I can get them back on now in the show, like gracefully. He loves being on the stage. I think he likes it. He takes energy from it. You've kind of been extrovert. I think he likes it. He takes energy from it. You kind of an extrovert I think. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:03:47 I don't think I like people seeing my weak spots so they can like, like roll over on my back and be like, oh I hope that one bites my pink tummy. Your feet are glowing red right now. Those are your weak spots. Yeah. Hey the rush that Theo gets from being on stage to him it's almost like a drug. Yeah. We talk about drugs in The Tripping Report. I'm like itching for another edition of The Tripping Report. This is a press release from Headspace, LLC.

Starting point is 00:04:18 What are those guys up to? Nothing in there. It's not that Headspace. This is a different headspace. Oh. Yeah, this isn't like a riff fest about the fucking... Is that the app that makes you not mentally ill? The app that's like short breathing, yeah.

Starting point is 00:04:35 Yeah. I tried using an app. This is so much better than an app. You guys are going to love this, I think. Forged in freedom, Marine Corps veterans Tim Jensen and Derek Sasan launch headspace THC infused seltzer. Beautiful. Mm-hmm. Ex-Marines. Making you like a little weed bubbles beverage. That's pretty cool. That's dope. For Patriots, right?

Starting point is 00:04:58 Just for Patriots I think. Well, I think that'll come out in the text. I think you'll find. In a bold new collaboration blending patriotic grit with unapologetic innovation, Marine veterans Tim Jensen, co-owner of Grunt Style, Oh boy. Mature. Uh huh. It's a Budavista trademark. They can't do that. Oh, they're doing a Grunt Style over there?

Starting point is 00:05:20 And Derek Sasan, founder of Merica Bourbon and Beer. Oh, fuck off! Awesome They have joined forces to launch Headspace A THC infused seltzer brand on a mission to challenge the norm and elevate the game What are they challenging? The norm Which norm?

Starting point is 00:05:39 The THC seltzer norm I'm so sick of that shit It's so boring, I want Marines to jazz it up. And I want them to do it unapologetically. Yes. Don't apologise for what you've done to the THC Celts again. This is a quote here from Tim Jensen, the Gruntz down guy. Headspace is a project that represents a new way forward, how we engage with libation

Starting point is 00:06:01 in the modern era. Cool. We used a different source there. We don't have to do this. We don't have to do era. Cool, we used a different source there. We don't have to do this. Oh, we do. We have to do this for like a little while actually. No, we can't have got a finite amount here.

Starting point is 00:06:13 Oh, okay. For me, it's not just about creating a product, it's about creating a shift. A shift from destruction to clarity. What destruction? Well, the bombs they dropped. Yeah. Oh.

Starting point is 00:06:24 The desert storm stuff. The civilians that kicked up cliffs and stuff. Let's not get into who's doing the destruction. But it needs to stop. It's a shift from coping to healing. Yeah, isn't that beautiful? That's nice actually. And it's a drink that gets you high.

Starting point is 00:06:41 Getting high from your soda. It gets you stoned like weed. Like I'm stoned off of drugs. Arrgh! I wanted to build something that celebrates warrior culture. Yeah. There's nothing that says healing like warrior culture. This guy should be killed.

Starting point is 00:07:00 Grunt style. He should go back to the war. Put it back out there. But just... Do we have any of them going at the moment? I think we've got a couple on the... Send them back. A couple on the boil. We're not returning our best.

Starting point is 00:07:13 No. Not just in its power and might, but in its evolution. True warriors don't just master war, they master peace. That's actually so true. I think that's actually really nice. Yes. That's actually so true. I think that's actually really nice. Yes. That's positive masculinity. For peace, something something parablem,

Starting point is 00:07:30 like from the John Wick movies. Like from John Wick? Yes. When Winston says it on the roof. No, it's in the basement, doesn't matter. I've walked the path of violence and I've walked the path of healing. That's the journey Headspace represents.

Starting point is 00:07:45 This is awesome. Cool. Yeah. And the end result is still getting stoned off your soda pop? Yes. Yeah. It's like a fizzy drink. Soft drink.

Starting point is 00:07:56 Does that work? Can you do that? I don't think it works. I think it needs to dissolve in fat, right? Can you just drink it? No, you can do basically anything with it. Yeah. You can do anything with weed? Yeah. Oh dude, it's fucking crazy dude.

Starting point is 00:08:08 Alright. It's fucking nuts dude. Weed is like fucking dope honestly. It's so sick. Inspired by the wisdom of the warrior in the garden, I have, no I'm not going to prompt you to say anything actually sorry, but I don't

Starting point is 00:08:24 know what that is and neither do you. LAUGHTER This drink is for those who've seen the storm and learned to live in stillness. Yeah, I haven't. I'm not, like... I've done neither of those things. You've tried. Yeah. You've tried taking, like, enough 2CB or enough... Having enough... To open my third eye and...

Starting point is 00:08:43 And, look, all that happened was destroyed my life and then I woke up in an IT job so. So close that eye. Close that eye quick. Not all bad I guess. Is the drink for people who aren't like seasoned in violence in the way of the warrior? Yeah, no, this is what I'm thinking, like non-warriors. I think they card you for your warrior status. Can we get a taste? aren't like seasoned in violence in the way of the warrior? Yeah, no, this is what I'm thinking, like non-warriors.

Starting point is 00:09:05 Yeah. So you're like a... They card you for your warrior status. Can we get a taste? Yeah. Well, clerics are kind of a hybrid spellcasting warrior class. I think they would actually... No, you're thinking of paladins.

Starting point is 00:09:14 No, I'm thinking of both of them. I'm not getting into this either. You want to start a running list of things I shan't be drawn into this evening? After years of struggling with alcohol, I know firsthand that life doesn't have to end in addiction or regret. This drink isn't about checking out, it's about tuning in. Yeah. Finally off the alcohol and on to the weed juice.

Starting point is 00:09:36 Full time. Live and clean. It's calm, it's clarity, it's control, it's the brotherhood of the can. Whoa. I bet a copywriter got paid so much money to write that. Cowboy, I don't think they did. Brotherhood of the can. This is from Derek Sisson, the other owner.

Starting point is 00:10:00 Crafted with precision and purpose, Headspace represents more than just a refreshing drink. It's the convergence of two military veterans and entrepreneurs who understand the value of discipline, innovation and freedom. I think, do you think they explored each other's bodies? I think so. Can't tell you guys. They say a lot of sexy words like two Marines, two veterans. Two grunts styles. Relaxing. Can't tell you guys. You say a lot of sexy words, like two Marines, two veterans. Yep.

Starting point is 00:10:25 Grunt style. Very evocative. Free to explore Grunt style. Clarity. More relaxed than they've ever been, you know? I was going to do a special thing for this episode then decided not to, that I was going to try and rig up a sort of... You guys aren't worth it.

Starting point is 00:10:38 That's right. I was going to do a QI style, like you know how they have the buzz when someone says the obvious wrong answer where I was going to be like, what style like you know how they have the buzz when someone says like the obvious wrong answer I was going to be like what if I Just have a list of things that are like our Go-to's that when we're riffing Exploring bodies was like the top of that list so if I put the effort into do that that would have just happened They would have been crazy. I'm believe I anticipated that that that would have just happened that would have been crazy. I can't believe I anticipated that.

Starting point is 00:11:09 It's the convergence of two military veterans and entrepreneurs who understand the value of discipline, innovation and freedom as the THC infused beverage market continues to grow rapidly. This partnership aims to set a new standard in quality branding and consumer experience like warriors would do. I still don't think it exists. The beverage? The beverage. No the beverage is real. You can't tell me, you can't tell me, no I just don't think it exists. The beverage? The beverage. No, the beverage is real. You can't tell me. No, I just don't think that the fizzy drink is the domain of getting high. I don't think it exists.

Starting point is 00:11:31 It's not real. I don't think it works. It's very much real. They sell like weed beers in the US. They send weed beers. Two different flavors together at last. Combining to make something that probably doesn't taste that great, it gets you high, dude.

Starting point is 00:11:44 I drink weed at my house most weekends. Yo! You drink weed? Really? You making tincture? You tincturing, brother? Yeah. Yeah, hell yeah, dude.

Starting point is 00:11:53 Want a little pineapple juice? Mmm. Delicious. Then you get zoinked off that lounge. I do. Awesome. Like a millitrip-in-or. Yes.

Starting point is 00:12:04 Gruntzer. We have been an integral part of brands steeped in American values. These values of course being patriotism, honour, and the relentless pursuit of excellence. When I think about America, excellence. Excellence. In every field, everything they got, I think that's top quality. It's just hit after hit, isn't it? Yeah. Air traffic control.

Starting point is 00:12:31 Nothing but excellence. Headspace carries that spirit forward with a beverage designed for those who value wellness, clarity and the freedom to choose their own path to relaxation and recovery. Yeah, definitely. As the wellness movement grows and more people move away from alcohol, the THC infused beverage space is exploding. But where others bring hype, we bring purpose.

Starting point is 00:13:00 Headspace leads with trust, transparency and two veterans who understand what it means to fight and what it takes to heal. Ooh, I bet they do. I understand what it means to tussle. I want to hear from some warriors who know what it is to win though. Like... LAUGHTER I want to be drinking like the fucking...

Starting point is 00:13:20 The Viet Cong, like THC coffee. LAUGHTER Now we're talking. fucking Viet Cong like THC coffee. Now we're talking. I'm just thinking like, why do I want to drink a fucking losers THC seltzer? Give me some of that VHC. Yeah. I'm sorry.

Starting point is 00:13:39 They won some recently, right? Like Afghanistan was sorted out. Yeah. What happened there? What was the end result of Afghanistan? Ah, Taliban won. That's a victory Taliban. Oh, they got it sorted out. Yeah. What happened there? What was the end result of Afghanistan? Taliban won. I think it was a victory. That's a victory Taliban.

Starting point is 00:13:47 Oh, they got it. They got Afghanistan. Yeah, Taliban win. Yeah. All right, that's uncomfortable. Iran done? We done there? Yes.

Starting point is 00:13:54 No, we didn't try. We didn't go in. We didn't win Iraq. Iraq, kind of a draw, I think. OK. Wow, that's not bad. Agree to disagree. Agree to disagree on that.

Starting point is 00:14:03 To be like, you know what? If you guys don't want us to help you, maybe we'll just pack up and go home. Did they win Korea? I was going back through the list of the ones I could think of. What happened there? Is that ours now? Did coalition forces take Korea?

Starting point is 00:14:21 Beautiful unified Korea. More than a drink, a movement. This isn't just a new beverage, it's a new mission. One of balance, one of healing, one of freedom. It's just repeating itself. And it goes on like this. It's important stuff to make sure you know. Can you call something a movement when you haven't started selling it yet? It will be a movement. People are going to be energized. I'm saying it is a movement when it's on shelves.

Starting point is 00:14:48 Yeah, it's a movement towards a movement. They're doing pre-movement right now. Yeah. Yeah? Yeah. And you can... I was going to have that one. I was going to have the buzzer set up for that one as well.

Starting point is 00:14:57 That was a trap. I think that's how the JWs get to it sometimes. A drink. That seems like a thing that might go on a menu. It's time for Looks Like Menus Back on the Menu. Looks like menu back on the menu, boys. That's one of the better ones. It is one of the better ones.

Starting point is 00:15:19 Top five. Yeah. This comes to us from Restaurant Business Magazine. For more restaurant consumers, the car is the dining room. I love living in a bright, beautiful future. I suppose that's true. I think that's a good sign. That's not false, what you've just said.

Starting point is 00:15:35 For a lot of people, it is. Sure, yeah. It's a lot of rooms for a lot of people. It's all of them. Yeah. Sometimes. Americans love their cars. They sure do.

Starting point is 00:15:47 That's true. They love them so much, they're increasingly turning them into dining rooms. Yeah. Is that what's happening? I don't know. Hardwood floors. Oh, I love my car.

Starting point is 00:15:57 Sorry, sorry. Did someone order some spaghetti? Oh, sorry. Fuck off. Oh, lord. Fuck off. Fuck off. Fuck off.

Starting point is 00:16:02 Fuck off. Fuck off. Fuck off. Fuck off. Fuck off. Fuck off. Fuck off! Thank you, Judd. There was like, there's like seven or nine people that this could be. Yeah, Judd. It's Judd, you can tell because Judd just did it. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:16:18 Thank you, Judd! Thank you, Judd. Thank you, Judd. That is a delicious spaghetti bolognese piping hot from the microwave at the Scratch Bar, Milton. He's really hard on it, so you probably should eat it. My tummy is so soft. Just remember how your mute button works on your microphone there, please. It pairs with the red.

Starting point is 00:16:38 Are we just letting his feet be out for the whole show? He's not going to do anything about it. I don't feel like you've got an option. I'm not going to do anything about it. I don't feel like you've got an option. I'm not going to do anything about it. I haven't seen anything else since you took the hot. They are catching the light in a very captivating way. Very delicate feet.

Starting point is 00:16:56 I've got Morton's toe, that's where the second one's longer than the first. Get them away from the fucking bolognese. I love those spaghetti guts on the... Hey, you guys want to hear a mystery? Yeah, yeah I do. Alright, so we went out, we went to Ben's place last night. And we had some drinks. What's that?

Starting point is 00:17:18 I did not, I kept them on. I kept them on, I didn't get, so okay. So I took my umbrella to Ben's place. And so my shoes didn't get wet. so I took my umbrella to Ben's place, and so my shoes didn't get wet, but I left my umbrella at Ben's place last night, and so tonight when I went out, I thought, fuck, it's raining, but I can't take another umbrella

Starting point is 00:17:33 because then I'm just the guy that takes umbrellas places to leave them there, so now my feet are wet. Anyway, so we were at Ben's place, I head home at a reasonable hour, and hop in the shower shower because I'm kind of snoozy. You know, we don't need to go into what time it is. After you left, Ben showed me a message on his phone that said, from you saying, I think I'm going to leave at 9.30. And the time on his phone was 9.30 as you had just exited

Starting point is 00:18:02 the building. And I did not mean to do that by the way. It was just because there was a lift going from lovely George. Anyway, so I go home, hop in the shower. He's better be fucking going somewhere. I've had a lot of snot in my nose lately because I've had tonsillitis. Get to when you washed your feet. So I'm washing my feet, right?

Starting point is 00:18:25 I started my feet all the way up. And I kind of go like... Like you do in the shower. And I feel something quite heavy hit my hand. Like this. And I'm looking around, like, you know, and it's nowhere to be seen. There's something about Mary's style.

Starting point is 00:18:44 I cannot find what came out of my nose Now I asked you bed before we started how bad could the addicts anecdotes be and you're like, yeah, you're fine so That's my fault so I'm getting I'm getting dressed this afternoon to come here I'm getting dressed this afternoon to come here. Oh my fucking god. No. I take it off my shirt. Something's like tugging at my chest hair. Boo this man.

Starting point is 00:19:22 Oh my god. It was blood and snot dear listener. Really been keeping that anecdote under wraps huh? Since this afternoon who am I going to tell that to? These beautiful people. Anyway continue. Tell it to some people who paid. A growing number of consumers are eating their meals in the car. According to Tecnomic Data,

Starting point is 00:19:51 the percentage of consumers who eat limited service breakfast out of their car has increased eight points since 2019. It's increased five points for lunch and four points for snacks. That's so good, all right. Yeah. Love to view this through the lens of meals.

Starting point is 00:20:04 I'm like, business brain fucking loses. Being like, well, that's probably good. All right. Yeah. Love to view this through the lens of meals. I'm like, business brain fucking losers being like, well, that's probably good news. It's even true for full service restaurants, according to Technomic. In-car consumption of snacks purchased at full service restaurants is up 11 points since 2019. How full we talking? I'll take that Bolognese to go. Yeah. It's up three points for full service breakfast. More consumers are eschewing meals with partners, friends, family or co-workers to dine on their own. Although there's like 40% of our audience

Starting point is 00:20:39 is going like, oh okay, a little me time Well, here in my car I feel safest of all. Yeah. And Gary Newman, he was a... He's autistic! Yeah, that's true about Gary Newman. I wasn't even talking about autism. I had to prep a bunch of questions to interview a month that were mostly... Gary Newman? Yeah. I got stood up by Gary Newman. Gary Newman from the car guys?

Starting point is 00:21:04 From cars? From cars? All of my questions were either about luxury watches, crane plushes he's been involved in or autism. So these three big interests and synthesizers. Apparently more of those occasions are taking place behind the wheel of an automobile. Quote, car consumption of food has skyrocketed, not really let up, said Robert Byrne, Director of Consumer Insights with Technomic, a sister company of restaurant business. Restaurant business. He presented the data this week at the National Restaurant Show, noting that the car has become the new third place.

Starting point is 00:21:41 No, it fucking hasn't. No, no. Because that's definitionally not a third place. It's one of your places still. If you went there and incidentally, there were people that you socialise with already in your car, yeah, maybe. It's not a third place if like,

Starting point is 00:21:57 you just work too much to have time to go home or you don't have a home. That's not a third place. You're not going to your car to meet new people. No, that's right. You're not getting like a car to meet new people. No, that's right. You're not getting like a cheers style, Norm, when you walk into your car. You could if you were like dogging though.

Starting point is 00:22:13 Yes, that's true. That's a third place. Sorry, we- That's a third place. Apologies, we needed to make a carve out for dogging. And that's our mistake. Tick off. That's getting cold by the way.

Starting point is 00:22:24 Fuck. I can't eat. I can't eat. I can't eat them. I can't eat them. Oh, I'm doing all my jokes until the jokes are too serious. I'll get the feed out. I'll talk about my sinus gunk. I will not eat pasta. Consumers have long consumed meals in their cars. Thanks to the proliferation of drive-through, fast food, breakfast and more hurried lifestyles. Consumers have long consumed meals in their cars.

Starting point is 00:22:45 Thanks to the proliferation of drive-through, fast food, breakfast and more hurried lifestyles, nearly three quarters of meals purchased from a restaurant are for consumption outside the home. And with more diners ordering from their phones, it's only natural they would eat meals in the car if they pick it up. Hang on, sorry.

Starting point is 00:22:59 Three quarters of meals purchased from restaurants are for consumption outside the home. Yes. Are we talking about like in a restaurant? I think that includes eating in the restaurant. You can't have those ones. They belong to like the building. I think... That's not the car's data.

Starting point is 00:23:17 LAUGHTER Burn suggests other elements are at work. He believes the proliferation of social media is driving a lot of this as TikTok food reviewers show themselves testing food from the front seats of their cars. Oh, okay, that makes sense. All right.

Starting point is 00:23:33 Nothing more aspirational than like watching somebody eat food behind the drivers. Eat like a fucking crumble cookie in the driver's seat. Is that like, that can't fucking be people being like, well, that looks like a nice time. I might try that myself. That's good. Yeah, I don't think it's the car that's like the element that people are taking out of be people being like, well, that looks like a nice time. I might try that myself. That's good. I don't think it's the car that's like the element

Starting point is 00:23:47 that people are taking out of that to go like, oh, in the car? No, the thing they're taking away from is- I can just hit that in the car? What else could I do in the car? They have as much appeal to me. Have you ever seen those videos of somebody making food like at their computer desk?

Starting point is 00:24:00 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, like the dorm room ones? Yeah, the keyboard's there and they're splashing around with something and trying things. A hot plate. Yeah, that's fun. It's very upsetting to me. Seems inconvenient, yeah. Yeah, like the dorm room ones. Yeah, the keyboards there and they're splashing around with something and frying things. Yeah, that's fun. It's very upsetting to me. Seems inconvenient, yeah.

Starting point is 00:24:08 I like getting elbows into stuff. One step below that is the guy I follow on TikTok who cooks meals in hotel bathrooms. He has like a heating iron that he puts in the sink and he fills it with water and then he like poaches chicken in there. Yes. He gets water out of the cistern. He's doing it all. Yes.

Starting point is 00:24:30 Oh, straight away. Straight away. Is it tasty? Judd, tell me how to very nice ragu in his freezer. That's good. That's good ass ragu. Thanks, Judd. Thanks, Judd.

Starting point is 00:24:50 Quote, if you look at user generated content on social, the amount of videos that are recorded in a video just shocks me. You just live in your car or something like that. Yeah, some people live in their car. Something like that. Yeah. I think it might be that. Trying to pose their way out. The pandemic largely stopped dieted service, at least for a time, and consumers flocked to drive-throughs. Consumers often ate their meals from their car and grew accustomed to the practice, Byrne said.

Starting point is 00:25:08 Consumers learned that during the pandemic, learned that during the pandemic, and have continued to maintain that behaviour. Well, stop it. What a beautiful learned behaviour. At least sit on the hood. Fucking watch the planes going overhead and eat you. Yes, go to the aircraft viewing area. Yes, I've never been to one. We should go to the Brisbane one. We should, go to the aircraft viewing area. Yes, I've never been to one. We should go to the Brisbane one.

Starting point is 00:25:26 We should go to the Brisbane aircraft viewing area. Like tomorrow. Watch Taken on your phone while you eat. Why are you bringing up all the disgusting things you've done lately? We all know that Theo's got a tiny... No, look, you've got a tiny little phone. It's not tiny, it's gotten bigger.

Starting point is 00:25:38 Show us, me. The phone has gotten larger. Because you're excited. He showed up at the bar and showed me that he'd been watching Taken on that. When else am I going to watch Taken? When in my life? I'm like for some reason I'm more offended that you're watching a movie for the first time on that. Yeah, I could understand if you were like some movie I've seen a bunch of times and I'm just gonna passively watch this on the bus

Starting point is 00:26:06 but here I am oh they're taking her they're taking her they've been taken no no no no yet okay that's something else but they probably will be I think that's Liam Neeson just hold it closer to your face. I don't see what the problem is. Hey, that article had a bunch of statistics in it. One way you can gather statistics is through a poll. It's time for the Pol report. The Polish people will be united in the battle for freedom. Our people will be united in the battle for freedom. Przejdzie listem, przejdzie kartem, będzie Polakami,

Starting point is 00:27:26 Dał nam szybko, bo na kartę jest wyciężać mamy. Nasz, nasz obrosli, z siedmią zloskiej obroski, Z ojcem, z ojcem, z ojcem przez narody. We will be together forever. We will be together forever. We will be together forever. We will be together forever. We will be together forever. We will be together forever. We will be together forever. We will be together forever.

Starting point is 00:27:56 We will be together forever. We will be together forever. We will be together forever. We will be together forever. We will be together forever. We will be together forever. Woo! What a rush. Thanks guys. I'll explain this to the bartenders later. I love how many people got up to go to the bar during that. Perfect timing. This is from a poll conducted by Pure Profile asking Australian men to rate their own driving.

Starting point is 00:28:18 Okay. This is so good. I've been watching a lot of dash cam videos lately. Oh me too. Oh it's really fun. One of my friends got featured in one. That's so exciting. Your dash cam?

Starting point is 00:28:28 Her footage got used, she wasn't like in the thing. Getting ploughed into obviously. She was odd one, she killed a child. Round them over, straight through. Alright of the 3005 men that were surveyed, which by Australian numbers that's a very representative sample. That's most of us. know, Australian numbers, that's a very representative sample. That's most of us. That's quite good. That's statistically rigorous.

Starting point is 00:28:50 22% responded that they were average drivers. Pussies. Oooh. Pussies. Yeah. Just about like regular style. I don't drive, so let's all... Yeah.

Starting point is 00:29:01 I'm a very good driver. Very good? Yeah, I'm a great driver. Yeah, I'm going faster than everyone else. I'm faster than everyone else. I must be good Yeah, I must be good. I'm good as hell. I'm in that fast lane Holding everyone at the speed limit. Perfect speed limit control One percent Responded that they were bad drivers. Yeah, I guess why would you you're not gonna say that you're bad yeah oh man I suck I see I should not have a

Starting point is 00:29:28 license the remaining 77 percent responded they were above average yes I'm not like a statistics guy I'm not a numbers head yeah I'm an art man moved to the beat of jazz. Is it possible that the 1% of really bad drivers are so bad that it can be mathematically correct that 70%, 77% are above average? If we are taking the mean, okay? So the 1% we're talking- Which is the same as the median of the mode.

Starting point is 00:30:02 It all means the same thing. No, so if we're taking the mean mean then absolutely manslaughter's George could like Drag the rest of us He should not be driving When did your shoes get back on? Magic I'm like lightning baby Can we get like a little straw poll just from the fellas? Let's do a blind one.

Starting point is 00:30:28 I want you to be genuinely, sincerely honest. Everybody close their eyes. Close your eyes when you put your hands up. Do you think you're an above average driver? OK. OK. All right. Now, see, I think it.

Starting point is 00:30:42 I think we made the joke too soon. Interesting. Yeah, I think we might have. Yeah, I don't think that's true. Who thinks they're a bad driver? Okay! It's about even. It's about equal. Alright. We've got an honest audience. We've got honest fans, yeah.

Starting point is 00:30:55 I don't know if you guys have been like on the roads lately, but like everyone else that can drive is like a fuckhead. Yeah. And they're really bad. Isn't it crazy how everyone else is a bad driver? But what about you, Ben? Oh, I'm a... I drive so good. You're so good? I bad everyone else is a bad driver. What about you Ben? Oh, I'm a I drive so good. You're so good. I am a wizard with a Forester Okay, I know the size and shape and capabilities that car like you wouldn't fucking believe I can do anything with that car except

Starting point is 00:31:15 Go above 110 kilometers an hour Who's had one of those Polish beers and is driving home tonight? All right arrests this person, this person. Honestly, that's the whole thing that I had. I just really wanted to play the Polish National Anthem. Here's another segment that I included just because I wanted to play the theme. It's the one where we look at subway reviews. It's time for Subwaych! Oh, it's chilly out there. Hey, sorry, I know you're closing soon, but can I get a... No! Meatball? No! Toasted? No! Sandwich? No! Salad? No! Dressing? No! Cookie? No! Subway? Fuck you! Thank you Vinno. Now these are all from one location which I've never never in the history of the four months we've had this segment done before.

Starting point is 00:32:23 Subway, it's history. I think you might have even been near this subway, Theo. I don't think you would have gone to it. But did you, by any chance, when you were in beautiful Berlin, did you go to the Hauptbahnhof Central Station in Berlin? Oh. And did you feel a dark aura when you were there? I would have absolutely gone there.

Starting point is 00:32:41 Did you catch the train from another city to Berlin? No, we got the bus and there was... you catch the train from another city to Berlin? No, we got the bus. And there was... So we got the bus from Munich to Berlin and it was like 10 o'clock at night. You went to a train place and you didn't get the train? Is that weird? Is that a weird thing to do? I don't know.

Starting point is 00:33:00 You got the bus from Munich to Berlin? You are stupid. And they're like... And we stopped at this place, this service station in the middle of the snow in a fucking forest somewhere. And they said in German what it was that we had to do. And then everybody left the bus and went into the station to do their stuff

Starting point is 00:33:22 and get food and stuff. And then we all hop back in because we're terrified of being left behind. It hits like the half hour mark and the bus starts driving, driving off. And then like two people start running after the bus because they, because it had hit the, it had hit the point when they were leaving. They don't count the number of people that are coming on the bus. They just leave. They're like, fuck you. That's German efficiency. when they were leaving they don't count the number of people that are coming on the bus they just leave So these are all from there there is one there's a subway at Berlin wonderful hubbub off I

Starting point is 00:33:59 Hope these tickle you because they tickled me I'm gonna do the accent. I'm sorry. I just feel like I have to I know I'm not very good at a German accent but I'm just feeling myself today. I think I think the people working the bar need to gird themselves. It just might bring up bad memories. Of what? Should we have had a talk beforehand about some shit you probably just shouldn't say or? I'm being sensitive. It's the stage he gets crazy up here. He's fucking nuts. He's got the zoomies. He's got the zoomies. I had a very disappointing experience at this subway location. The staff was unprofessional, making fun of me and laughing while I was placing my order. In every country they're like this.

Starting point is 00:34:51 I'm starting to think it's part of the training. Make them feel small. I've never been bullied at subway, which again I think is because my order is like correct. Normal. I'm ordering your normal style. Hello, I'd like one of your regular Subway sandwiches. Penns. Our beautiful friend George picked us up from the airport

Starting point is 00:35:10 and brought us in and we went past. Woo! George! Yeah! And there's a big fuck off billboard for Subway. New chicken and pepperoni. All right. You could fucking sell them both of those the whole time.

Starting point is 00:35:24 Yeah, you can get there like, yeah, you can just go and ask for both of those, alright? You can't just put up a billboard that says... You get yelled at before. They'd be like, that's fucked up. I'm not making that. It's fucking disgusting. But now it's on the menu and they're like, oh, chicken and pepperoni for sure. Hang on, I have to ask the...

Starting point is 00:35:37 Usually I ask you guys, but I've got to ask the audience because it's a better sample size. Have I ever told the Klaus burger thing on the podcast? No? So we were in Munich, right? And it's very similar to this. Same trip. And we went to a burger shop,

Starting point is 00:36:01 like Burger King kind of thing. It might've been Burger King and we get in there and like look at the stuff there and it was Christmas right, it's this beautiful snowy Christmas and I'm like okay that's that that Christmas themed burger looks good so go to the counter and go can I can I please get the get the Claus burger please like Santa Claus and they just look at me like, just complete no recognition whatsoever. Can I get the Clausburger please?

Starting point is 00:36:33 And I'm pointing to her and she like looks back. Oh! Turns to the girl next to her. He means the Clausburger! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Christmas burger would have been. I don't... hey. What do you think it would have been? I don't... is beef or something? A little cranberry sauce on there? I don't know. Is it beef?

Starting point is 00:37:10 Beef? Beef? Beef? Beef? Beef? Thinking about a Christmas burger for the first time. I thought we were going to run out of stores. Incredibly rude. I wasn't allowed to speak so I showed him a message on my phone about what I wanted to order And in the most rude tone he kicked me out of the store I'm speechless never again subway Nick I think when I go in and the person goes don't speak to me I'm like I guess they're not doing subs today and I leave.

Starting point is 00:37:53 Yes. Right? But what if you're really hungry for a sandwich? I don't go, I don't go. How am I going to get through this order? Maybe I've got to type it up. Maybe let's see what steps we can, how can we resolve? Didn't work.

Starting point is 00:38:02 It wasn't worth trying. It might be a language thing, like when I tried to get worm tablets from Italian pharmacy in Florence. Where are these fucking anecdotes coming from? What? You've never told any of these things. You've been saving them for the live show? Oh, when I have worms in Florence.

Starting point is 00:38:18 Oh, I've never told you about a Klaus burger? Just remembered going to Europe and getting clowned on in every country. Yeah, absolutely, what? We're here, yeah, so I take the farmacist, Like just remember going to Europe and getting clowned on in every country. Yeah, absolutely, while we're here. So I take the pharmacist and I'm like, uh, worm tablet? I think he's making these up. And he's like, no recognition.

Starting point is 00:38:37 And I'm like, worm tablet? Oh man, come on. How did you get worms in Italy? The regular way, I guess. I don't know what that is. They get under your fingernails. From where? From whence?

Starting point is 00:38:51 I don't know. Your own ass? From whence do worms come? What a wonderful question. So here's the beautiful thing about the cycle. It can't be from your own ass. It has to come from. From the ass of another.

Starting point is 00:39:02 So I had to. This is why it's relevant to what Ben is saying it's not crazy for me to say so I had to open my phone and type into Google Translate worm and wait for it I was saying and I had to show it to him on my phone. He's like, ah, vermin, anyone got me a worm tablet? So I didn't have worms anymore. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Starting point is 00:39:31 Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Starting point is 00:39:37 And as far as we know, he's wormless to this day. Oh no, I've got two children. I'm like. Yeah. It is a roller coaster of parasitism. Is this pre-child? Pre-child worms? Hey, pre-child worms, yeah. You're like a grown adult.

Starting point is 00:39:50 It doesn't... It's normal to get worms. You don't have to blame the cat. Get some Italian worms. Your cats can't give you worms, by the way. I found this out. If... Okay, so... I tried scratching their arseholes. I found this out. If...

Starting point is 00:40:06 Okay, so if you're... I tried scratching their arseholes. I'm not touching my cat's arsehole, okay? She's grooming me. And she... It was the cat's idea for a start. Is that one beer, like a third of a glass of wine? Just for reference, just to sort of... Yeah, like this is drink number three, I think.

Starting point is 00:40:27 This man is sober as a judge. I don't see what the problem is if I get hyped in front of an audience. So the cat's grooming you? The cat's grooming me and they can't give you worms. I thought there was more to that. So stop asking. I thought there was gonna be a form sentence. asking. I thought that was going to be a far off sentence.

Starting point is 00:40:47 Today my daughter wanted to have a sandwich in Subway because it happens that we were in the Hauptbahnhof Berlin. As we entered the place the personnel were playing football and a boy hit my body by accident. What? It was my daughter's one wish. It is a very bad experience. How is it Subway's fault? I think it was the staff. It was my daughter's one wish. It is a very bad experience. How is it Subway's fault?

Starting point is 00:41:06 I think it was the staff. It was the staff? Oh the staff were playing football? They were playing Fus Bal. Fus Bal. You cuffed the soccer ball to the stomach inside Subway? There was also a photo attached to this one and it was a POV shot of all of the Subway employees

Starting point is 00:41:22 pointing at the person taking the photo, being like, ah, very angry no atmosphere no enthusiasm at all from the employees no seating to top this all off when I asked for salt and pepper on my sandwich I just got to know another straw poll here has anybody in here ever been into a Subway restaurant they would describe as having atmosphere? Pop it off in here. It's got a kind of atmosphere. Yeah I do like the photos, when they have the photos that are like that. Of a sub? Some bread? Yeah like the 80s photo where it's like a loaf of bread and some ingredients. It's like a cornucopia.

Starting point is 00:42:07 Yeah, I like that. I do like that. That's a good atmosphere. I take it back. I'd like that in my room. Take it back. I like the ones that are just pictures of wheat. Yeah. It's like, because we're getting bread. The ones that are like, so nice and stuff. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:42:19 I like the photos of that guy with the big pants. What's his deal? I don think we can put those up anymore. I haven't seen him around much lately. He lost all that weight. I don't recognise him. Confused, I asked again and got another no. Then I asked another employee if I could get salt and pepper, got no again. Tried to ask why not the answer no all of this happened without even receiving the common courtesy of eye contact okay well

Starting point is 00:42:53 look hmm you should be able to work wherever you want like food service does subway have like the best Union on the planet? That's probably what it is. Yeah, say whatever the fuck you want to them. Yeah, you don't have to serve them. Yeah. Just FYI. Doing vibes based service. If you don't like them as soon as they walk through the door, fuck it, we don't need them.

Starting point is 00:43:16 Brad wouldn't have that, what's that? More locations than McDonald's. We don't need shit from them. They do, they do have more locations than McDonald's. It's crazy. Disaster. It started when I couldn't decide on the right source within a second and the moment I decided the employee said too slow. That's so funny. I'm starting to want to like maybe like maybe like when I retire I semi retire and work in a subway for a while first.

Starting point is 00:43:52 One of these subways where you can just be like, ah, too slow, stupid, idiot. This is like the real the true promise of the Karen restaurant right? Yeah. You shouldn't get to choose where it is. You rock up to a subway suddenly you're in the Karen restaurant, right? Yeah. You shouldn't get to choose where it is. You rock up to a subway, suddenly you're in the Karen experience. Inside the Karen zone. Get ready for pain, motherfucker. That's right. You thought you were getting a sandwich.

Starting point is 00:44:14 If they were French. Oh. Because apparently they mean bread. Ah. I then asked, whatever, but received no answer. At first I thought he was joking but when I finally got to dinner on the train I realized he really didn't put any sauce on it. Fucking own and you're on the train now you cannot get back for the sauce. Yeah that's one of the third places I think.

Starting point is 00:44:38 Eating your sauce on the subway on the train. You gotta know what sauce you want. How do you not know what sauce you want? How do you not know? It's no one's first time going to Subway anymore. It hasn't been a first time Subway experience for years. Let's empathise with the Subway employee though, because how many people have come through and they see that little section of all the sauce bottles and they go... You start trying to see if there's labels on the side of them and then you start looking up the menu trying to see what the sauces are. I do think they could make it better for first timers. I think that having clearer displays

Starting point is 00:45:16 of just lists of what they have on the windows in a way where you can be like bam, bam, bam, bam. I remember my first subway was really stressful. I hated it. It was a stressful time. I couldn't go. I used to not be able to go for the first 20 times I went. Yeah. What about the...

Starting point is 00:45:28 How about every subway starts to have, like, one gentle lover style employee? Brings you into the fold. Yeah, they can take you through your first... Like an older employee? First time? First time? It's like, shh. It's OK.

Starting point is 00:45:40 It was everyone's first time at Trumple. Not like the guy with the big pants, though. I'll show you exactly what you have. It doesn't have to be perfect, but we will make it beautiful. Yes. I want you to leave here feeling like you got the sandwich you wanted. You know?

Starting point is 00:45:54 And then the next time you come back, you better be fucking ready. Yeah. You better know what the types of bread are, or you'll look like a fucking chump. Fiddly beef and cheese was completely hilarious. No salt and pepper available in store. These guys fucking love salt and pepper, hey.

Starting point is 00:46:12 11 euro 49 euro cents for a foot long is disrespectful. The meat tasted like feet that had fallen asleep. Is this a Google Translate job? Yeah, that's nice. Amazing. I would like to give zero stars because one is too many. Love when people specify that they would like to go lower than one. Yeah, no, one's the lowest.

Starting point is 00:46:36 Yeah, but that's still a star. And star is good, so I want none of them. An employee initially filled the sandwich with a lack of enthusiasm that could hardly be surpassed. I want you to smile. I want you to smile while you're doing it. Another employee asked what they wanted about the vegetables. He obviously wasn't really interested in my answers.

Starting point is 00:46:59 I asked for cucumber. He puts tomato on it. I ask for pickles. He asks, sauce? When I ask for pickles, the puts tomato on it. I ask for pickles, he asks, sauce? When I ask for pickles, the only answer I got was sauce. An exciting spectacle that you as a guest can hardly endure. I can't believe how common this situation is, where people are like, oh, lettuce?

Starting point is 00:47:20 Oh, you mean tomato? Shredded carrot. Fool. And worldwide too. Yeah, every country... It's nice they've gotded carrot. Fool. And worldwide too. Yeah, every country. It's nice they've got the standards. I think it's beautiful. You know what you're getting every time.

Starting point is 00:47:29 You get a Subway. You know you're going to go to a Subway in Berlin. And someone's going to be a cunt to you. Wherever. Yeah, and someone's going to say. Wherever you are in the world. Wrong answer. Idiot.

Starting point is 00:47:37 Stupid sandwich for a fool to eat. Everyone's going to laugh at your sandwich. One bitch sandwich. Lose a footwork. For a cretin. People say that working at McDonald's is good as a teen because you'll learn like cash handling skills, that kind of thing. You can get a job at Subway as a teen, learn PsyOps.

Starting point is 00:47:53 Learn how to just destroy a person who's come in for lunch. Learn how to drive a man absolutely crazy by giving him the wrong sandwich. Last one here. Your manager coming through and going, that was good but I noticed that you did make eye contact with him before putting the wrong ingredient on the sandwich. He smiled when he left. Don't do that again. First experience ever. Don't ever go here.

Starting point is 00:48:16 The guy taking order misbehaved very badly with us. Oh. He was a naughty boy? We nicely greeted hello and were giving over order. He said get out and started screaming because we didn't know his name. What? Because we didn't know his name? How will we know this name?

Starting point is 00:48:36 There was no nameplate also. This is wild because this is how like a lot of social kind of like interactions go for me as well. You don't understand how you violated a rule? It feels like there's rules that you don't really understand. Rules that I don't understand about like socially. Everyone else gets them though. And this is like the opposite where they give it. There's some way it's a shop that you...

Starting point is 00:48:59 Uh huh. Huh? What are you going to say, T-Bird? What? Someway's a shop that makes you autistic. It's like a tourist destination for experiencing autism. Come in and switch all the rules on you. The autism simulator.

Starting point is 00:49:24 Yes. Like those simulator. Yes. Like those earthquake simulators. Orange wrong, stupid. You chose wrong, you spoke to me wrong. You don't know my name? I love that it's a guy who's not wearing the name tag. That's such a power move. What's my name?

Starting point is 00:49:38 Who am I? This is for Gunther's friends only. I have a name. And I'll get you your sandwich if you know my true name. First you must answer these riddles three. Riddle number one. What is my name? What is it?

Starting point is 00:49:55 Riddle number two, what is the correct amount of eye contact to be making? Nor that is weird amount. This was very rude and unacceptable behavior. I will never go to this place again ever. Subway should not employ people like this. The people who demand that you say what their name is before you give them a sandwich. Yeah, don't hire those guys, I guess, if there's more of them. If that's a type of person.

Starting point is 00:50:22 It sounds like Subway knows who they're employing. Yeah, they have a very aware Yeah, yeah, right. I think they are crafting this experience. Who's that fucking little gnome guy that? You gotta know his name The fucking little The fucking little gnome guy. Rumpelstiltskin? Rumpelstiltskin! Oh! They're harrowing Rumpelstiltskins over there.

Starting point is 00:50:47 He's not a gnome. Fucking little... Isn't he? Is he a gnome? No, he's not a gnome. I don't think he's a fake creature of any kind. He's just a guy? He's weird, right?

Starting point is 00:50:57 He's like Albanian or something. He's short? Yeah, that sounds like an Albanian name to me. Now, this one is honestly the bottom of the list for quality of story, but it's at the top of the list for quality of theme, so I think we have to keep it. Yes. Oh. Yeah, hey.

Starting point is 00:51:14 What's that smell? It's not that one, Theo. It wouldn't be that one, Theo. If you go to Subway in the morning, you can get a sandwich with an egg. We talk about eggs. In Big Egg. What's big and small at the same time? Big Egg. Big Egg.

Starting point is 00:51:37 Big Egg. Big Egg. Big Egg. Big Egg. Big Egg. Big Egg. Big Egg. Big Egg. Big Egg. Big Egg. Big Egg. Big Egg. Big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big eggning. Egg is too big, don't own a pot, it will fit.

Starting point is 00:52:05 Egg white all over my shit. Crack in a pan that blots out the whole sun. Cook up an omelette that must weigh a ton. Flip it and serve it and eat, I deserve it. Big egg means my day has begun. Whoo! Whoo! This comes to us from KGW in Oregon. Birdwatcher sees man apparently snatch egg from osprey nest in Milwaukee Park.

Starting point is 00:52:29 That's brave. That's rough. Don't do that. Don't do that. Leave the eggs where they is. The beautiful sea eagle? I need to, we need more of them. Are they? Because. Are they marine? An osprey. An osprey. Are they sea eagles? An osprey. A little raptor. Is a sea eagle? An osprey? Are they sea eagles? An osprey? A little raptor? Is a sea eagle? An osprey? What? Sea eagle? A marine bird? Sea bird.

Starting point is 00:52:51 Is an osprey a sea eagle? Yes? Kind of? That was such a fucking mixed response. We're going to work this out by the end of the night whether or not an osprey is a sea eagle. I know a lot of you know that it's like an aircraft but the other one. The other one, that's right.

Starting point is 00:53:07 It's kind of, but it's a cool aircraft right because it's both a helicopter and a plane. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no Because I need to sustain my diet. Oh fuck! Ed, who has asked KGW News not to use his last name for reprisals from egg thieves? It sounds like he might be the guy who took the egg. No, he's the guy that ate a bunch of guys, made the suits out of their skin. What? What's his name? Ed Gein? Ed Gein? Ed Gein? Ed Gein? Ed Gein? Ed Gein?

Starting point is 00:53:50 No, we've got to stop doing all of this. We can't do a thing where we get confused, go to the audience, solicit them, can't hear them, and then disagree with the audience. Talk about it for a while. Yeah. We've got podcasts to do. What if he was Ed Gynaecologist? Podcasting is what happens when you're busy and he ate everything he said he was It's gonna be a Discord name in five minutes It's a Sea Hawk! What's the difference between a hawk and an eagle? No! No! No!

Starting point is 00:54:20 Davin was that you? Shut the fuck up Davin! It's like I'm being dragged into Wikipedia What is your special interest on your own time? You can have special interest on your own time Ed has lived in the area for about six years and said there's been an active osprey nest above a train bridge that entire time

Starting point is 00:54:38 He sees the birds every spring when they return from migration and start raising their young. That's what made what he saw this week so jarring Quote quote I was down there I was down here in my normal walk down here I was down here in my normal walk down here down here my normal walk down here go through the park hey I'm walking down here I'm gonna read whole lot again. I was down here at my normal walk down here and go through the park and see what's available, Ed said.

Starting point is 00:55:09 What? He sounds like he's the guy who wants eggs. What are you talking about, Ed? To see what's around. You're talking about ladies? So I was egg peeping. Looking for milfs. Who have we got?

Starting point is 00:55:20 He then noticed an unknown man. I was on my regular milf hunt. I was off an afternoon milf hunt. My noontime milf hunt. I was recruiting for my taxi related business. So he's out milf hunting. He's milf hunting. He then noticed an unknown man and two friends walk along the train tracks.

Starting point is 00:55:46 He watched as one man climbed up the bridge's truss and approached an osprey nest. He didn't. He's not allowed there. As per train regulations. There are rules in this life. He walked up there and he approached the osprey nest and he bent down and he took out an egg from the osprey nest, Ed said. That caught Ed by surprise and immediately made him angry. Yes. Ooh!

Starting point is 00:56:07 I feel ya. Angry enough to skin a man. Make a delicious hearty soup. Quote, as a birder and a person who appreciates wildlife and nature, first of all, I can't believe this guy's doing this. And then, what for, for Ed said incredulous Wow But also I'm quite conflict-averse would you believe but if I saw someone stealing an egg from a bird

Starting point is 00:56:42 That's a classic knock it off situation That's yours. Hey, I don't think that's yours. Hey, that's a classic knock it off situation. Knock it off situation. Hey, mate, knock it off. I'm being bloody serious. Knock it off. Girls, I'm... Mate, that's fucking... You're being a goose. Yeah. There's people with kids around here. There's families, all right? There's kids around. There's kids around. Knock it off, all right? You're ruining it for everybody else.

Starting point is 00:56:59 We're milf hunting. This is a park for milf hunting. Trying to do a family milf hunt. Eating a milf? Milf seeing an osprey egg being stolen? Yeah. Oh, she'd hate that. She'd hate that.

Starting point is 00:57:12 They'd go back to a milf straight away. Well, milfs have a very strong code of honour that they follow. They do, absolutely. Milf puchito. What is the purpose of taking an osprey egg from there? Yeah. It's to have an osprey egg for lunch. To have an osprey egg, there? Yeah, what's to have an osprey? Yeah, I think it's just you wanted one

Starting point is 00:57:32 Yeah, I see an osprey egg. I take an osprey egg Yeah, I think the most fucked up outcome is that you steal an osprey egg, and it's the best fucking thing you've ever read Yeah, it's like those Galapagos tortoises Can't believe it can Can't wait for our spray season. Ed took photos and shared what he saw with Oregon State Police. OSP said it is forward the initial investigation onto the US Fish and Wildlife Service. Yeah, that's Gads. I probably would have said it to them first. Yeah, they don't give a fuck about an egg.

Starting point is 00:58:03 Oh, they took a bird egg? They took a bird egg? Yeah, is that a crime? I'm not, that's probably a crime, isn't it? Yeah, I believe it's a crime. I'm not what with the way things are. You guys not still there for me to shoot? No? That was gonna be on the alarm-triggering thing as well.

Starting point is 00:58:17 Because of woke, that was gonna be on the board as well. Because that's the things that we say? Yeah, one of the things we say. Micah Meskel, with the Bird Alliance of of Oregon said what Ed described could have serious consequences for the birds. Quote, that means that egg is dying, Meskel said. That means the adult that laid those eggs is no longer going to be able to raise its young or be able to procreate. I think we all understand that taking the egg means the egg is gone. The egg's gone, yeah. It's not going to become a bird.

Starting point is 00:58:43 Well, unless he put it in an incubator. Yeah, or he'd sit on it himself. And now he has a best friend. Make a little nest? Raising that, that osprey is his own. Yes. Training it. Perhaps to attack people he doesn't like.

Starting point is 00:58:55 Warm it up? Yeah, you're sitting on that egg, you're playing Death Stranding on the steam deck. LAUGHTER Sitting on that egg. Raising that egg as your own? And then you've got a trained Osprey. You have a Seahawk as a weapon.

Starting point is 00:59:10 Yeah, it comes out, you're playing Death Stranding 2 on the Steam Deck. He added that Osprey eggs are about the size of a golf ball and a half. That's an egg size! That's egg size! It's a steamed egg. I mentioned! It's regular chicken egg size. Picture if you will, an egg size, that's egg size! It's kind of standard egg size. It's regular chicken egg size. Picture if you will, an egg sized egg. A small egg the size of a big egg. Yeah. Yes.

Starting point is 00:59:35 It looked like he could have one or two of those at his hands, Smithskill said. Because of the size of eggs and the size of a man's hands. Yeah and the number of hands that he has. We should cut his hands off. We should cut his hands off. Yeah absolutely Absolutely I would approach that man and be like, are you going to get your hands cut off today? Hey brother did you wake up today knowing that you'd go back to bed minus two hands? Nice hands you got there. Now gaze upon my blade. No I'm taking his side you need two if you want to do the Chinese meditation bowl thing. Yes. Or like David Bowie in Labyrinth. If you want to start doing some tricks on the guy that you're sucking off.

Starting point is 01:00:08 Haven't seen it. While Ed's photos do make it look like the man took something from the nest it's unclear if the man took any eggs or if he did how many. Yeah. That's gonna be inadmissible in court. He could be taking anything from that nest. He could have been taking golf balls. By the way, he just tried that. From the egg. He could have been taking golf balls, by the way.

Starting point is 01:00:25 He could have just tried that. From the egg. He could have been protecting the nest. My golf balls ended up there. I was protecting the osprey. Yes. Yes. Because they would have wasted time and energy

Starting point is 01:00:33 trying to rear those golf balls. That's right. Exactly. I actually love wildlife more than anyone. Yep. And I paid for those golf balls. And I'm getting them back. Hey, the guy that stole those eggs

Starting point is 01:00:43 maybe had a case of psychology going on. We talk about psychology in Paging Dr. Lucy. You tell the phone and dial it on the double You call 1-800-317-515 Now you're paging Dr. Loosey This comes to us from r slash cuckold psychology Blew it! Ah, a normal source. Anyone using chat GPT for guidance? Stop it.

Starting point is 01:01:30 Stop it. Don't. I started a board conversation with my chat GPT and of course things quickly went to me being a cuckold. As they often do. Oh, always. Every conversation I have. You're talking to a robot.

Starting point is 01:01:46 You is the most cuck shit in the world. Two sentences in there. Hey, Chad GPT, how are you? By the way, I am a cuckold. I am a cuckold. I love watching someone else fuck my wife. I derive sexual pleasure from, ironically enough, being denied the sexual pleasure of fucking my wife,

Starting point is 01:02:00 take her experience, but it's not like a compersion thing. It's just that, listen to me, I'm waffling. I'm a cuck. Yeah. Prompt. Talk to me like I am a cuck, old. I must say, things heated up very quickly, Lil. Oh, actually, okay. You got horny for chat-y-pe-tee.

Starting point is 01:02:14 I didn't think I could say horny stuff. I didn't think you could say horny stuff. Well, I think the point of the cuck stuff is that... you don't get to do the horny stuff, right? Chat-y-pe-tee. Tell me I can't have sex with my wife. Yeah. Oh! LAUGHTER

Starting point is 01:02:32 Chachie P.T., bring me no sexual pleasure whatsoever. Oh! Believe it or not, that's in my rules. Yeah. LAUGHTER Don't say anything explicit. One completely dry dick coming up. I went from telling it my likes to it creating schedules and rituals I need to follow and

Starting point is 01:02:55 wanting to create note cards for me to recite my play. We should all just... I didn't know Skynet would be putting a Chastity Cage on me. Let's get serious. Take a vote. Hey, serious. Take a vote and we'll just work it out. Audience.

Starting point is 01:03:14 Who would be opposed to us closing the doors and just getting it over with? I'm so tired. Us and them? We're having such a good time tonight. What if this was just the end? What if we just turn the switch off here? So at least one of the cars out there has to be one of the VWs that had the fucking diesel defeat device installed it's fucked up it's

Starting point is 01:03:52 not gonna hurt a bit close the door I'm trying to figure out if you're talking about an orgy or a mass suicide I realized it took me a while to get to he was talking about mass suicide I thought I thought he was saying the sexual tension between all of us was so strong we needed to just finally fuck. Was there a sexual tension here? I couldn't tell. I thought, I can never tell. It's incredible.

Starting point is 01:04:14 Yeah. I remember this one time at a party, like two girls, like they'd been talking to me a while and then after a while they went. What's going on with the fucking anecdote? Where's he getting these from? Where have you been storing these? I've'm talking to you for like eight years now. I don't know what I'm thinking about you. These two blonde girls were like talking to me back and forth. What are you talking about? Oh, they were blondes.

Starting point is 01:04:26 Yeah, it was pretty dope. Double D's, double D's. And then after a while they were like, so are you gay? I'm like, what did I miss? I missed a free service. I missed a free service. I missed a free service. I missed a free service.

Starting point is 01:04:34 I missed a free service. I missed a free service. I missed a free service. I missed a free service. I missed a free service. I missed a free service. I missed a free service. I missed a free service.

Starting point is 01:04:42 I missed a free service. I missed a free service. I missed a free service. I missed a free service. I missed a you gay? I'm like, what did I miss? I missed a threesome. Having a social queue issue? Anyway, who wants to die tonight? Kel's back there, he wants to. You can't name the members of the audience

Starting point is 01:05:02 that are suicidal. It's most of them. This is rules! Rules, rules, rules. We don't have time. Yeah, we don't have time. Alright, what's the fucking story you've got? I have one more sentence to read from this. It's also very supportive in making sure I remain locked 24-7 and take extra good care of my wife and her lovers.

Starting point is 01:05:28 That's so nice. So, you're getting cucked by the chat GPT. The chat GPT is cucking you? No, they're helping him become the super cuck. Well, they're helping him not have sex, which is what they want. So, yeah. So, not getting cucked, ironically, in that sense, but by being cucked. You're burning like six hectares of the Amazon so somebody doesn't fuck I've never found chap GPT to do something that I couldn't do myself you're managing not having sex on your own hey your sex life is that something

Starting point is 01:06:03 we should chat about no we chat that something we should chat about? No. Hey! We chat about stuff we should chat about in Stuff We Should Chat About. Here comes some stuff we should chat about. Stuff we should chat about. Oh, two other stuff, stuff to chat about. Stuff we should chat about.

Starting point is 01:06:21 Here comes some more stuff to chat about. We're chatting about snooze Yeah baby Christ Alright I'm gonna give you guys Is that nice? Here are your own dollars We've got like 45 minutes to go I don't think we do

Starting point is 01:06:39 I'm not sure but we do What's the time? Time check We've got like 40 minutes to go Oh fuck. John, let's get Theo another shot real quick. Alright, I'm just going to describe to you guys what I mean. like some like hypothetical

Starting point is 01:06:55 situations and I need you to tell me whether they sound good or bad. I'm just going to close my eyes while I visualise this. You can just sort of say it out loud because this is still an audio medium. Yeah. Yeah. Guys, everybody close your eyes please. Imagine this, you're in Osaka and you're having a whole, you're having a lot of yakitori. Oh, and you're pounding a bunch of delicious asahi. Yes, okay. Does that sound good? Sounds like something I would love.

Starting point is 01:07:28 You're just eating yakitori and you're having like 20 asahi's. Osaka. I shouldn't do that. I've had a shot before. That sounds good, right? That's good. Sapporo. Sapporo is a little bit further north. Northeast. And? Sephora is a little bit further north but you know.

Starting point is 01:07:47 Northeast. And? Yeah probably. I think this sounds good. Yeah okay good that's what I was looking for. Alright you're in Ciudad de México. Imagine this you're in like a little table in a little cafe maybe Centro Historico. And you're having a bunch of tacos al pastor. They just carve them off the tromba,

Starting point is 01:08:09 put a little bit of pineapple on there, and you're- How crunchy are the tacos? Shut the fuck up. And you're just knocking back negra modellas. You're having like a shitload of those. Maybe some calabanca, something along those lines. Just a bunch of cheap beer in some tacos good or bad. It's a good time good I think that's good. That sounds pretty good, right? Yeah. Okay, you're in

Starting point is 01:08:32 Jian You're sitting at a little table like mom-and-pop kind of dumpling place You're having a lot of xiao long bao and you're having a bunch of not sing towels Yeah, they've cooled down they've cooled down so you can just sort of one at a time right in your mouth Bam, and you just drink a bunch of Singtales. They've cooled down enough. They've cooled down, so you can just sort of, one at a time, right in your mouth, bam, and you just drink a mess of Singtales. Is that good? That sound good? Good. Sounds great, right?

Starting point is 01:08:52 Yeah, I don't like Chinese food, so. That's not... You just ate Chinese food before we came here. I didn't. I had spring rolls. You did actually. You only ordered spring rolls. Only ordered spring rolls. Are you a child? My tummy hurts. He only ordered spring rolls. Only ordered spring rolls. Are you a child?

Starting point is 01:09:05 My tummy hurts. He ordered spring rolls and I heard him say, can you put some Australian stuff in there? Nothing weird please. I had to ask if there were any prawns in it. Can you break up a wrist hole and put it in the spring roll? Fuck off. Fuck off. Okay. What, Okay, another hypothetical.

Starting point is 01:09:27 You're in Lima, you're in Peru. You're having a bunch of delicious. I don't know where Lima is. Sea, yeah. Fresh ceviche, and just pounding bottles of Quesquena. Just like a nice, easy drinking lager. Bunch of those on a sunny afternoon. Good time.

Starting point is 01:09:43 Yes. You're in Hamburg. You're tucking into a Viener Schnitzel Mitt Kartoffelsalat. Yes. You're pounding just stines of Hofbrau lager. Yes. Speaking my language, brother. Oh, doesn't that sound nice? That's a good afternoon. So good.

Starting point is 01:10:00 I'm starting to get a little scared about where this is going. No, it's... But that sounds good. That good afternoon. I'm starting to get a little scared about where this is going. No, it's... But that sounds good. That sounds good. I like that. Alright, you're in Amarillo, Texas. You're eating just a big old plate of Texas barbecue and you're pounding back dozens of Lone Stars. That's a nice time, right? Yeah.

Starting point is 01:10:16 Yes, agree. You're in Kalamata. I'm in... Olives. I'm getting tired from the travel. A lot of... The home bucket... The original home of olives. I'm eating a heaping bucket of olives. You're having a giant thing of svelaki

Starting point is 01:10:33 and you're just pounding a bunch of vaginas. LAUGHTER All right. A bunch? You guys have had those before? Vaginas? Yeah, it's like that Greek export lager. From time to time.

Starting point is 01:10:47 Yes. Someone's gone to a Greek restaurant and had a couple of vaginas before, right? You guys are worldly, right? I can't be the only person that has had a vagina. Hands up in the audience if you've had a vagina. Thank you. I think it's pronounced like vagina. Cal, put your hand down.

Starting point is 01:11:01 Yeah, we know that's not true. We can't bully people. That shouldn't be a thing we're allowed to do. We can still get the VW diesel in here. Unbelievable. Alright, but that... That all sounds good, right? Like having like... Having like regular street food and having like 20... And a vagina. Yeah, yeah. A gang of beer and pussy. We all agree that's good.

Starting point is 01:11:25 Yeah, how big of a vagina is we're talking? Oh man. Are they regular style? Yeah. But like having a bunch of domestic lagers in those countries and having like- Sure, yeah. That's like a heavenly time, right?

Starting point is 01:11:36 Absolutely. You're just a Yarkataurian, a bunch of Sapporo. That's a great time. It is, yeah. Do you think there are people in other countries? There might be someone in Greece or Peru. I'm in Brisbane. Yeah I'm in Brisbane. I'm having 20 carton dries and a burger that has egg and beetroot on it. Yeah. I think that sounds good. That sounds nice. Are you the Australia boo? Are you the person? A six pack of two is extra dry.

Starting point is 01:12:07 Yeah, oh yeah there we go, that's living. Yeah, but you can't drink there though, you can't drink in a Bunnings parking lot. I've never been stopped, I've never been stopped. And you're doing it for a good cause. For whatever the fuck they're fundraising for. I never look at the signs. But John, the regionals never look at the signs. Just to be clear, also the audience participation is one way.

Starting point is 01:12:27 It's sort of a one way glass here. You're the one that keeps talking to him. He gets so mean. What's going to happen? What's going to happen? Like his entire body language has changed. It's like opened up. Yeah, he's like, what's up?

Starting point is 01:12:40 You want some of this? I could go back to being suicidal. Anytime I could click it on. You were just asking if we should bring a van in and kill everybody. That's right. What's your problem? This is now kind of on me actually. I'm thinking about this a little bit. Sure. I prep my notes sort of in secret and I'm thinking about this a little bit that I kind of sure I prep my notes Sort of in secret, and I don't like to do you guys to see yeah

Starting point is 01:13:08 Like a little yeah little goblin with your notes Sort of exactly as you want I saw you up here as well like kind of rehearsing the whole thing as well Fuck off. I didn't do shit sort Sort of just like pacing back and forth like, hey, this is Budavista, it's sort of a current events podcast. You might like it if you don't know it yet. Here's how it goes. There's an intro that's kind of weird. Yeah, sorry, Ben, you were saying.

Starting point is 01:13:36 It's like, I don't even know what I was saying. He's the chat GPT keeping us all in line. Yeah. The point I'm making is because I get so in my own little world about this, I didn't really think to talk to you guys about maybe the stuff that we should or should not say sure things we shouldn't do I mean I asked you beforehand like hey is everything about board and you're like, yeah brother He did tell me before Then said open slather say what you want

Starting point is 01:14:04 Don't single out people from the discord for their discord behaviors slather say what you want. I probably would have had like a few things. Slur, slur, slur. Don't single out people from the discord for their discord behaviours. We actually did discuss that. I mean it's just one of them. I'll go back, I'll go over the afterwards. You've done two now. Probably would have said fewer references to suicide. Yeah. In fairness to you, I don't think In fairness to you, I don't think that it would have crossed my mind to say, I don't think we should try to incite a mass suicide during the show. It's kind of a given. Unknown unknowns. I'm on your side here.

Starting point is 01:14:37 Have I done anything wrong? Lucy, you've done nothing wrong. We'll talk about it later. Because of me now, they have a rule. Because of you now, we're't done anything wrong. You've been following the rules. We'll talk about it later. We'll talk about it later. Because of me now, they have a rule. Yeah. Because of you now, we're gonna have rules. When Theo starts getting this glint in his eye, that's kind of a bad sign. We talk about bad signs in Omens Importance.

Starting point is 01:14:59 You shall see hail fall from a clear sky and burn as fire upon the ground. You shall see darkness cover Egypt when the sun climbs high to noon. And you shall know that God is God and bow down to his will. This comes to us from, motherfucker, KSNT in Kansas. The Saint. Yeah. Kansas couple discovers hundreds of bones in yard. Hey, this could be anyone's bones. It could be anyone's bones! But if they're on your property, they're your bones now. That's so true. Or free bones. What about that? Free bones. Earlier this year, Sarah and Bethany Freeman had their main sewer line replaced. Little did they know the project had a surprising twist in store.

Starting point is 01:15:51 Back in January, the Freemans hired a plumber to clear their main line. Over several months, they reported having trouble contacting them to complete the job. That was until Saturday when a pile of dirt showed up. It's like Like appeared? We weren't home, he just dropped it off while we were at our son's graduation, Sarah Freeman said. Quote, we didn't think much of it until the next morning when we found a skull lying next to it. Alright.

Starting point is 01:16:19 Sarah Freeman told KSNT News that the plumber they had hired still hadn't shown up to fill the hole, so she and her son started doing the work themselves. He's cursed. He's got the curse It's because of the skull. He's got to pass it on now. They have the curse of the skull. Yeah. Hey do You can't what have you got? Can we have an offline chat what you can clear this beforehand, get it out. Let's have a quick huddle. Everyone's waiting. Alright so. Tell it to the whole class if you've got something so important to say. So we were about 20. We? Who? Me, my friends, all of us. 20. What friends? Which ones? Everybody picture when you were 20. Picture when you were 20.

Starting point is 01:17:09 So my friend, his parents, he came he moved to Brisbane, he was living with his parents and they were getting a thing trenched just like this sort of story. I'd love to get trenched. Teeth? No. Razors. Teeth. And when they were doing it, it was on a weekend. This guy had been going for like three days and the plumber. And he's trenching and he hits somehow a hive of wasps. Subterranean? And he's getting bitten by wasps all over. Now, if we can imagine kind of a smash cut

Starting point is 01:17:49 to my friend's friend who does not live here, does not live at this place, this is not his family. And he's like, hey, do you dare me to drink a whole bottle of tequila? And everyone's like, no. We do not. That's my dad's tequila, don't do that. And he's like I heard a yes. And he drinks like half a bottle of tequila,

Starting point is 01:18:13 goes, gets completely fuck-eyed of course, right? And then he's like, he's so fucked that they like push him into the shower. Has a shower. Has a shower. Finds a bathrobe to like, to like, wear. No underpants. Heads out into the family bedroom, into the family like, like area, like dining room kind of thing.

Starting point is 01:18:38 And is like exposing himself through his bathrobe to the family because he's, because he's just drunk half a bottle of tequila. Oh, he didn't even get through the whole thing? And then remember we've got two parallel storylines going on here. Old mate out the out the side is get has just uncovered a fucking huge like swarm of wasps. So this is happening same day? Same day, simultaneously. This is parallel timeline.

Starting point is 01:19:08 Simultaneously. It is like 10.45 on a Saturday morning and this plumber has come back. Classic time for half a bottle of tequila. When else are you gonna drink half a bottle of tequila at your friend's house? There you go, you got the rest of the day free. With no one else drinking.

Starting point is 01:19:25 LAUGHTER So Old Mate has just uncovered the swarm of wasps and he's come back on his day off and he is actively being stung by wasps when our friend from the second part of the story bursts through the door in the bathrobe, falls over in the hole that has just been trenched, proceeds to vomit in it and pass out.

Starting point is 01:19:54 Anyway, what were you talking about? Was this, was that related? Well the wasps didn't get stung on the dick or anything? And the plumber just left, he's just like, you know what? Fuck this. I'm becoming a dentist. I just want to point out that someone in the audience was fifth-microphone-ing during when you were telling that anecdote. They tried to get a little quip in there when you were talking about parallel storylines. Somebody in the audience could have been fucking anyone, Judd. When Paul Thomas Anderson over here.

Starting point is 01:20:31 Because you mentioned parallel storylines in the movie? Two things. It's fucking Paul Thomas Anderson over here. Oh my god. It's fucking funny. Because I had squashed the impulse to say Quentin Tarantino over here because of his parallel storyline

Starting point is 01:20:49 No, he's not talking parallel, he's talking non-linear You know what, you're right, I shouldn't have said anything Mike! Mike him up! Get him up here! Where the fuck are we? The Polish club Probably quite hard to hold on to.

Starting point is 01:21:08 We saw the skull initially and didn't think much of it, Sarah Freeman said. Thought it was kind of interesting. Started digging a little bit more and it was like every shovel was another bone. That's not what you want, ideally. Baffled by the surprise remains, the couple decided to call the Jefferson County Sheriff's Office. That's when they were told they had found hundreds of animal bones. Oh, just animals. Just animals. Just animals.

Starting point is 01:21:34 Boring. No humans. No good resale value. Boring story. I think they still go for a bit of money on Etsy. Fuck you. What the fuck? I was just reading about somebody selling human bones on Facebook Marketplace. You could get some cash for it. So if you're in your yard and you every shovel a bone.

Starting point is 01:21:54 You start digging. Every shovel a bone. And one human skull. Don't get scared. Open Facebook Marketplace. Honestly, if you saw a human skull on Facebook Marketplace, would you like kind of think about it? I'll think about it.

Starting point is 01:22:07 You could like- Well you fucking would. Yeah. What do you mean by that? You're over there listening to The Cure or whatever. You reckon that's the calibre of music that she's listening to? It's worse.

Starting point is 01:22:21 It's much, much worse. It's so much worse than The Cure. You reckon she's sitting in her room bopping along to just like heaven I'm convinced that you've paid a look-alike to take your place you've become twisted cruel Full of anecdotes incredibly confident. You put on the mask this morning.

Starting point is 01:22:46 Theo got jokified. Quite, I just couldn't believe it. You know initially I thought, is it a joke? Is it a threat? Because of all the issues we had, you know. What the fuck does that mean? Well you know the issues. Well everyone's got a past.

Starting point is 01:22:59 Everyone's got, yeah. It's a deliberate threat. Apparently you do. We're finding out tonight. Who are all these other friends? Yes, I have been alive. Who? Who are they?

Starting point is 01:23:09 Who are my friends from, you know, from before? Yeah. From before. From the before times. From earlier. From earlier? You don't need to know. Are they the same one group of friends

Starting point is 01:23:22 that you're a group of friends now that I know? Yeah. Yeah. OK. It was know? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. It was Sam's house. Imagine them 20. Yeah. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:23:30 Quite, it's something you can't make up, that's for sure. I could have. I could make that up so fucking easily. Easy story to make up. Uh, bones in dirt. Bones in the arms. Oh, there's bones. Animal bones.

Starting point is 01:23:40 Shovel bones. Easy, stupid. I would argue that it's boring to think of bones being under the bones! It's bones! It's bones! It's bones! It's bones! It's bones! It's bones! It's bones!

Starting point is 01:23:50 It's bones! It's bones! It's bones! It's bones! It's bones! It's bones! It's bones! It's bones!

Starting point is 01:23:58 It's bones! It's bones! It's bones! It's bones! It's bones! It's bones! It's bones! It's bones! It's a video game, yeah. It is. We don't need to get into it. We don't need to get into it.

Starting point is 01:24:06 And I'm saying that to you. Pfft. Ha ha ha. As you know, something I'm finding quite interesting is that when we're talking here, the three of us are looking at each other while we're telling the stories. You're doing everything directly to the crowd. He's a show pony. Hello.

Starting point is 01:24:24 Oh look, you're trying to win them over. You're trying to trick these simpletons with your cheap tricks. I think. Just because they're easily, oh I'll dangle the keys for them and they'll be on my side. I think he's an ENTP actually. I think he might be. You're watching the keys going, shit, goon. Sensible. The family posted their finding of hundreds of unwanted bones on social media, and it became quite a demand. Did you just list it as unwanted bones? Bones. Surplus two requirements. Free to a good home. Quote, we want to make sure that they are indeed animal bones, Bethany Freeman said.

Starting point is 01:25:04 You gotta check. Because the alternative... Quote, we want to make sure that they are indeed animal bones, Bethany Freeman said. I'm chasing each one. Because the alternative... Yeah. Fungus bones. Yeah. Alien bones. Like that, yeah, like the fucking, like the episode of X-Files where there's some aliens. Oh!

Starting point is 01:25:21 Spoiler alerts, come on! Yeah. You can't cheer a man who just poured 15 milliliters of wine into a cup. Do you want a little more? I had no sense of depth there. Can someone tell me when I'm done? That's crazy. He's getting one of those fine dining pours. Jesus Christ, you guys need to calm down.

Starting point is 01:25:45 We've had my gosh I'd say at least 20 25 people asking on Facebook alone Sarah Freeman said, they want them bones. They want them bones. Are those bones still available? Are they still available? Yeah. Is this available? We'll be politely ignored. Will you take five dollars? Will you take nothing? Deliver. Can you deliver it to my house? I will pick up the boat. What's the deal with Facebook Marketplace? What's the deal? I'm trying to buy what you've got, I'm trying to sell.

Starting point is 01:26:14 They don't want them. They don't want the stuff. I'm always doing Facebook Marketplace purchases and I'm always having a lovely time. I go to interesting new suburbs I've never been to before. I meet beautiful, strange people. What are you buying on that? Oh, bits of ephemera.

Starting point is 01:26:28 Trinkets. Trinkets. Brick-a-brack. Yeah. Plot some gist of some. Objeda. Some bones. Some bones.

Starting point is 01:26:35 Some bones. Some bones. KSNT News reached out to the plumbing service to obtain an explanation of where the bones came from, but has not yet heard back. This is rough, but I think we've reached the part of the night where I have to pretend we're going to stop and then do one more story. Oh no I can't with the time Ben keeps waving at me.

Starting point is 01:26:56 We can stop now. I think we should probably just wrap up I guess. I guess it's finished. Unless you want us to do one more story. I do have one more. It's okay. Let's do one more. I got too distracted doing that thing to do the segue.

Starting point is 01:27:15 It's time for Regional Bullshit. Regional Bullshit. Every little town has got their own bullshit. Regional bullshit. Every little town has just got to have it. This comes to us from WMUR in New Hampshire. The nerd. Nerd.

Starting point is 01:27:48 New Hampshire man becomes first non-Japanese person to participate in traditional dance. Could have been you. I, uh, because of my set of rules, if I have to do like a live thing, I can't really talk to anyone about what my plan is for it because I feel like that'll ruin it or in saying it out loud I'll think it's bad and then I won't want to do it. So I kind of like, even with the people closest to me, but I decided to share this one story with the love of my life, my beautiful partner Maddie and I was like this story is so funny and I read her that headline and she was just like I don't, what's the joke there?

Starting point is 01:28:28 What's the gag? Well you have to understand we're not being racist but there's some... Like they were on the wrong side in World War II. They were on the wrong side, no one ever mentions this. I actually think it's fine. Yeah a little bit of and like we're not laughing. Yeah, we're not laughing at them. Literally I was sputtering trying to explain

Starting point is 01:28:50 where I was like, no it's fine because he's like a... there's a type of guy on the internet that's... But, but, but... Nanking. You're either a toon... Oh, it's too far in the other direction. Lucy did it in like a tasteful amount.

Starting point is 01:29:08 You've gone too specific in the horrors. You're either attuned to the weeb or you are not. Merry Christmas Mr Lawrence, you know, things of that nature, you know. Sure. It's a movie with David Bowie. Yeah. Back to watching Taken on your jelly bean. A man...

Starting point is 01:29:26 Did you finish it? I haven't finished it. I was like 25 minutes on the... She got Taken though. She got Taken. I got up to the point. Okay. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:29:34 He's like, oh, this is the Taken-ing. So while I was waiting for a boost juice and getting a train over here... Oh yeah, no, sorry. Can we do that as well? No, he had a boost juice. When I met him at the train station he had a booze juice at his... We were all talking about... Because my... okay you may remember this from earlier on but my tummy hurts. Yes. So Theo makes a joke in our group chat about getting a booze juice. Not a joke. A hilarious joke. Not a joke in our group chat about getting a boost juice. A hilarious joke. Not a joke. And then Lucy meets him. He's holding a boost juice.

Starting point is 01:30:08 Several times I asked. You're not going to be able to hold that up. They won't see it. It's too small. You asked us, does anyone want a boosty? And I said yes, because I thought it was a gag. Yeah, I thought that was a great. But you said no immediately, right?

Starting point is 01:30:21 And then we meet at the pub. And we're all there. and then Theo vanishes. And after a minute or two, I look around and I think, I wonder where Theo is? And then I get a notification on my phone from Theo, who is somewhere else now, and it's a gif of Tim Robinson in I Think You Should Leave doing the, my stomach is fucked, a bit that I assume Theo Theo sent to me from the toilet while doing a total paint job the toilet at the scratch anyone been to the toilet at the scratch that's right surprisingly tidy that's right yes you have! What are you fucking talking about?

Starting point is 01:31:05 What a beautiful shared experience. We're all humans you know? We're all humans. Shitting and pissing in the same holes. Fucking sentence. You know what was going on while you were getting your boostie? I was setting up this show. Yeah and you were... Whoa. Okay hop down from the cross. Also...

Starting point is 01:31:21 Whoa. Okay, hop down from the cross. Also... If you encourage him, he'll stay like this. Don't laugh, don't laugh. Don't laugh because also... Also, Mr. Over here, I need to control all of the variables. Yeah, put your cage on. Will not let us help in case we fuck it up.

Starting point is 01:31:43 You would not believe how many times we all asked If you're trying to shift a specific diagnosis heat onto me, it's not gonna stick I'll look anyone in the fucking eyes, bro. I'll do it Oh look Eddie wanted the fucking eyes bro I'll do it. He's meeting people off Facebook marketplace he's driving out there to their houses and making friends. I'm beating off people off Facebook marketplace. A man from New Hampshire has made history by taking part in a centuries old tradition in a small Japanese town.

Starting point is 01:32:19 I'm from New Hampshire that kind of makes it better. That's awesome isn't it? Live free or die. That's the code of the New Hampshire. That kind of makes it better. That's awesome, isn't it? Live free or die. That's the code of the New Hampshire man. Or is that Vermont? It's one of them. Yeah, one of those sort of Northeasterly types. They all look the same.

Starting point is 01:32:36 Americans? They all look like Bernie Sanders. Americans, yeah? Americans? Let me be clear. that joke was not racist. Did you forget to do the voice when you said let me be clear? Is he doing a bomber up here? The Tanagumi dance is an important tradition and part of Japan's cultural heritage.

Starting point is 01:33:02 For the first time in its 800 year history, someone who is not from Japan was invited to join. So beautiful. Do you think they just like saw him and were like, That's the one. Yeah. He has it. He shares our code of. He knows.

Starting point is 01:33:16 Bushido. So did we have his name? Did we already have his name? Hmm? Did we already have his name? No, we've not yet gotten to his name. I want to hear that name. Why are you looking at me? No, we've not yet gotten to his name. I want to hear that name. Why are you looking at me?

Starting point is 01:33:26 No, I'm looking at all of you. You're actually looking up and to the right of my head. For fuck's sake. Kind of looking at my nose, kind of like in between. You're kind of just looking at my face. Which eye am I supposed to be looking at? I'm sorry. That...

Starting point is 01:33:40 Honestly. Does anyone know? It's the tip loose you just said, that's the thing people learn by rote. Yeah, you just look between their eyes. But make sure you're not looking through them. It looks like you're making eye contact. You've got to make sure you're focusing on the right point. If your eyes are unfocused and you're looking beyond their head, even if it's through, people can tell.

Starting point is 01:34:01 And they think you're not listening. Okay. And you don't have to look at them the whole time you're talking. No. You only have to look at them the whole time. No, when you're talking, okay, so I'm going to face the audience for this. Look around at them. Look at different people.

Starting point is 01:34:14 When you're talking, you can kind of look around because it's sort of like, ah, ah, you know, and you know, but when someone else is talking. Yeah, because it's kind of like, ah, ah, ah. So when someone else is talking, you need to look at them. Yes. Sort of like right there. It's just like right there, right there, yeah. Yeah, see, this is uncomfortable.

Starting point is 01:34:29 The common problem is that when I'm talking to someone- With you it's not uncomfortable, it feels like hand in glove. It feels electric. Scanning for exits. Yeah. In the dance, Matt Croesdale, 38,

Starting point is 01:34:41 wore a massive colourful bamboo fan that represents the wing of a phoenix and carried a large taiko drum. How many people in this room have dreamed of exactly this happening to them? Yeah. You're on holiday. There's like Sora and Goofy and Donald. And they give you something called a keyblade. You've got to save the universe from black gunk or something. I want some stuff.

Starting point is 01:35:10 It sounds like Karate Kid 2, where Daniel goes to Japan and everyone's like, yeah. He gets it. Yeah, you got it. Oh dude, you get Japan. You're not like a regular white person in Japan. Oh, you speak Nihongo? We thought you were a white boy at first, but then you did the thing with the drums? You're like, he gets it, he fucking gets it.

Starting point is 01:35:31 Shout out to everyone who's seen Karate Kid 2. I'm roasting from the audience, please, we're very fragile. The dance marks the start of spring and is a prayer for a good harvest in Gifu Prefecture, Japan. It has been designated a, quote, intangible folk cultural asset by the Japanese government. Love an intangible.

Starting point is 01:35:49 Yeah, and an asset. Hey, can I tange that? Let me tange that for you. Crozdale and his wife now live in Gifu, where he joined the volunteer fire department. Since many of those firefighters take part in the dance, Crozdale was invited too.

Starting point is 01:36:03 Sick. That fucking... That rules. That's so awesome that you're like this probably dumb as shit American guy. Yeah. But you got a big heart, you know? And you have brash American ways, you're hot tempered, you're passionate.

Starting point is 01:36:18 They don't understand your passion, but they do understand how much you love putting out fires. Yes. And in a way, you fight fires following the code of... Bushido. LAUGHTER And they respect that. You were a Marine, but the PTSD really changed you.

Starting point is 01:36:34 Yes. You realised that you did something in you as a warrior. Yes, yes. And you do need to fight. And the war is not about violence. It's actually about... It's about honour. ..connection. It's about honour. Yes.

Starting point is 01:36:44 Clarity. It's about coping. It's about connection. It's about honour. Yes. Clarity. It's about coping. It's about healing. It's about sucking each other up. Yes. Woo! You guys ever seen that one?

Starting point is 01:36:54 It's one white American guy and 11 Japanese firefighters and they are going crazy. Do you reckon they do an exchange program like a Japanese firefighter has to go over there to be like, yeah to be sucked off? This is why we were going to have the buzzer, because sucked off was going to be on there as well. You would have got buzzed. No the Japanese, the Japanese, the Japanese firefighters, he's over there and he's like denying insurance claims or whatever

Starting point is 01:37:30 But he's invited in to do the Nutbush city limits. Yes. He's like You don't have to do an act out. That's fine. We all went to school in Australia. So we know what it is We're all Australian. Yeah. Audio format. Audio format. Yeah Quite I was apprehensive about it at first. He said I felt like it was 800 years old Quite I was apprehensive about it at first he said I felt like it was 800 years old Yeah, you were 100 years old. It was it was Correctly my dude, okay You feel things It's very specific to their culture there and I was like, I don't know some people might not like to see me in it But I got a lot of encouragement from them and other people in the community,

Starting point is 01:38:05 so I thought, why not? Sounds like fun. That's beautiful. It's a beautiful culture. Yeah, it's just nice. The engine wants to dance. I didn't watch that TV show, but I've seen a lot of memes about it.

Starting point is 01:38:16 It's good, it's good, check out Shogun. Like the guy, the top part of the meme joke is someone says something and then the lady says a shorter version that makes the first bit sound stupid. Yes. It's like reductive. Yeah. It'd be like a long screed about something and they'll be like oh did he say something dumb. That's that TV show? Is that someone hiccupping in the audience? Honestly I find hiccupping so rude.

Starting point is 01:38:40 Same with sneezing. Crow's L practiced with the group for weeks to get the dance just right. He said he felt even more pressure when Japanese media picked up his story. But he said, look at this fucking guy. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:38:54 Oh, you think you can dance with the big dogs? White boy? White boy. Just doing this dance. Doing a beautiful Japanese respectful dance. 800 years. 800 years, respectful dance? 800 years?

Starting point is 01:39:06 800 years respectful dance? But he said friends and neighbours gave him good reviews and he's planning to participate as long... Oh, as long as they'll have him. That's the end of the notes. That's beautiful. We did it. I think we... We've entered the free form section.

Starting point is 01:39:22 Oh no we have not. No we certainly have not. Thank you so much to Liza and everyone else at the Polish Club for having us tonight. This is a dream. Thank you to Benny Gibson who was also our Sandman last time. Thank you so, so much for coming we love you. Thank you guys. We love you. Treat Theo nicely for the next half hour. Just be gentle with him. Don't, don't.

Starting point is 01:39:50 We'll talk to you soon. Bye. Bye. Bye. I'm gonna tell you what to do Have you ever thought about it that way? Have you ever thought about it that way? You

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Boonta Vista - EPISODE 400: Twisted, Cruel, And Full Of Anecdotes (live at the Brisbane Polish Club)

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