Boonta Vista - EPISODE 401: It's Dickhole Hammering

Episode Date: June 22, 2025

Theo, Andrew, and Ben bring you: The gift of an airport meat wagon, the generational end of fishing, a tour of Texas by Queensland's finest, and the maternal instinct to hurl objects. *** Outro: The Throw - Jagwar Ma *** Support our show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista *** Email the show at [e-mail]! Call in and leave us a question or a message on 1800-317-515 to be answered on the show! *** Twitter: twitter.com/boontavista Website: boontavista.com Twitch: twitch.tv/boontavista

Music Hello and welcome to Budta Vista episode 400 and one. I am Ben and I am the host of. Don't want to do that one again. No, I don't think we do retakes. Keep all of that. Yeah, great. I am Ben and I'm the host of, it wasn't that different. The podcast where we explore the rich vein of differences between Australia

and the United States of America. Okay. With me is Theo, who is Australian. Hello Theo. G'day. G'day. Yeah. How are you?

I'm, um, I'm... Look, I got my problems here.. Yeah, we move on from that I'm just gonna tell you a couple of differences and we'll see whether you already knew about them or how you feel about them Yes, Theo. Did you know that in America instead of driving on the left-hand side? They drive on the right-hand side of the road. I Did the thing that that I I struggle with and you know, um, probably Americans feel the same in reverse when they try and put themselves in our shoes is when they say, so I get the right left thing and I, and I can imagine that taking a left turn is difficult.

That's the hard one. The thing that I find trouble, like I find difficulty to keep clear in my head is that the left lane is the fast lane. Yeah, I tell you what, it is shockingly intuitive once you're doing it. Your brain just flips. You don't even really think about it. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. It's honestly, I was always scared that turning like across traffic, I would go into the wrong lane on the other side, just sort of by instincts, but you just, it's all very intuitive. It's actually pretty straightforward.

Very easy to put yourself in their shoes. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's super easy. Don't cause sort of stress. Picture a world not quite like your own, but just as valid. Yes, that's right. Parallel, but not better or worse. Yeah.

Theo, did you know that in the United States of America, instead of measuring temperatures in Celsius, they have their own sort of thing sort of unique to them. Yeah. Fahrenheit. Have you heard? Okay. So you've heard. Yes, I did know that.

to them uh Fahrenheit. Have you heard? Yes. Okay so you've heard. Yes I did know that um so if you take the um if you take the Celsius temperature uh it's nine divided by five time uh plus 32 to get to the Fahrenheit uh temperature so 32 degrees is so easy you just do it in your head. Is the Celsius uh freezing point. Yeah. It is the freezing point, but you can get to Celsius here. Yeah, no, absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. Only wants to do it though. So it is kind of a bit of a niche fact for us to know.

Sort of very niche fact because they're the only country in the world that uses Fahrenheit. Yes. It's just them. It's like if we knew a lot about the like currency system in Belize or something, right? Theo, you just fucking blew my mind. When you were saying that sentence, I was like, what would be a random country? I would pick it. I was thinking Belize.

Goodness. Why were we both thinking Belize? I don't know. It's like we're there one mind and, and we've kind of like, we're looking at each other from the other side of the podcasting table, I've got my bare foot extended. You've got your barefoot extended and we've clasped toes together. That's right. And then somehow it turns from an embrace into a struggle. Like we're rejecting our shadow selves.

Yeah. Yeah. Fight for who can survive. Okay. So you knew, you knew that one. Yeah. Just as an aside, if I'm doing the Fahrenheit conversion instead of doing nine over five or nine over four or whatever it is, I just have it.

Have it pretty close. Because it's a pretty close approximation. I don't think most people are mentally equipped to do the other one. Yeah. I just know that like, I mean, I don't really know much. I just know that like high 60s is where like they're gonna set like their office temperature I think it's the To like 69 seems like a nice temperature the hundred that's hot

Right. Yes, that's police. That's police sweatshirt Yeah, anything anything like 50 or below is getting getting chilly I think like high 90s is when they start doing the stuff we start doing around the mid thirties. Mid thirties. Bloody hell. They don't say it that way obviously because they have their own things. Sorry, I hate to rabbit on about temperature, but yes, sometime in the last week, I was in the bar and a guy from Alaska was talking about some really bad weather that they were having. And he was saying, I'm wondering whether or not this could be true.

But he was like, yeah, it got down to minus 40. And then I had that little moment of joy because that's the minus 40 is the temperature is the same in both. It's both. You don't have to ask. That's, he can do the classic Fahrenheit or Celsius, either one. Yeah. Doesn't matter. Either one. Yeah. Doesn't matter. That is also that's low. That can't be that cold.

Alaskans welcome that. You guys are not quite like Americans. I think you're Americans, but you're not quite. And we've got some very lovely Alaskan fans as well. So please tell you what right now, the overnight low in Juneau, Alaska is 12 degrees Celsius. So I don't know what the fuck that guy was talking about. We are.

Somewhere over there. I kind of forgot. That's yeah, somewhere over there. That's like, that's like a mirror Brisbane. They are having basically identical weather to us in Juno. Isn't that strange? Juno, Alaska? Theo, you're not going to fucking believe this.

Oh no, they are slightly different. Right now we're having top of 23, low of 12. They're having top of 22, low of 13. Oh, it all means something. We should be sister cities. Brisbane, two syllables. Juneau, two syllables. Yeah.

Brisbane, cool name. Juneau. Dope. Very cool name. Yes. Unless it's like named after a despised local explorer, and then we hate it. Yeah, then we hate it. Yeah, that guy sucked. Theo, did you know that in the majority of US states, they apply sales tax to the purchase at the checkout, like at the point of sale instead of on the listed price? Yeah. So they kind of got to do that thing where they calculate it. And, you know, so this plus sales tax and they've got all these little short hands to get them there and that sort of stuff.

Yeah. They've got to come up with a crazy trick for applying 10% to something. Yeah. Yeah. I, I did know that we, we have sales tax here too, but then the government and sales taxes suck, by the way, they're a regressive tax and we hate them. But the government did spend a moment thinking about it and going, hey, you know what?

Actually you've got to put it on the price tag. Yeah. They made everyone go through and manually update all of their like, because this was pre-digital signage largely. You have to go through and add 10% to like the price of your hamburgers. Yeah. So if you've got a menu and it said $10 for a hamburger, now they go dot 10 and it's not lined up, it's sort of just in the margin now is $10, 10 cents.

Is that right? No, it'd be $11. It'd be $11. Yeah. But if your hamburger was $1, I'd love to eat that hamburger. It sounds very affordable. Now also with me is Andrew who is American and I thought we might try and do a little flip side

Thing here. How are you Andrew? Howdy y'all? perfect Andrew did you know that in Australia instead of calling it fall they call it autumn That can't be right because we don't call it autumn here. And that's sort of the joke of the intro. Yeah, that's the joke. America would be resistant to it, whereas we already know all the stuff. Hey, do you want to know, do you know what my idea for this week's intro was?

Out, out? That I am not going to use. I'm just going to, I'm ready to throw it on the floor here. Well, I mean, you clearly weren't going to use it because you asked us if we had an intro this morning That's right, because this is the best I got to it's the beach that makes you cold Hey, I'm here on the beach that makes you cold. Yeah, it's winter. So it'd be chilly. Yeah, it sucks That's really good like South Australia. That's uh, so it'd be chilly. Yeah, it sucks. Also, it could be just in South Australia. Because they got the Antarctic there.

I think it's a little further south. America, huh? That's something that we talk about in America Watch. It's time for America Watch. America. This comes to us from KTVB in Idaho. Fallen soldier cart at Boise airport. Just to move them around on. Man down.

Get the fallen soldier cart. Fallen soldier cart at Boise airport Boise airport they Boise is just a wonderful thing to say isn't it we're reading um one of the Dr Seuss books to the kids they use it as a funny sounding place name. Oh really? Boise Idaho. Because it is. You think with all of his sort of fantastagorium of wonderments that he's coming up with he can come up with a funnier place name than Boise. It's just, I disagree.

I don't think it's necessarily like, it's not like Titicaca where you're trying to be funny. It's just a, it's an odd assemblage of- They're pulling up the funniest name. The indigenous Peruvians were trying to be funny. It's just a, it's an odd assemblage of- They're pulling up the funniest name. The indigenous Peruvians were trying to be funny when they came up with that. No, if he had put that into the book, right, that would be trying to be funny. Whereas this is just a wonderful assemblage of syllables that you don't get anywhere else. Boise, Idaho, it's got a bounce to it.

It's got this wonderful kind of rubberiness to the, to the way you say the S in Boise. Yeah. It is evocative to me of the, uh, the bouncing ball used in sing-along cartoons. Yes. It's got, it's got a shuffle feel to it, right? Boise, Idaho. You know, it's quite interesting is the Wikipedia pronunciation......pronun......pronunciation... ...has it with a......uh...

...a non... ...a non... ...s... ...sibilant S. How does that sound? No, a sibilant S. Boise. Boise?

Boise. That can't be right. Ow, my Boise! Yeah, that's the Wikipedia pronunciation guy there, isn't it? Boise. Americans around there saying Boise? Boise. That can't guy there isn't it Boise Americans are out there saying Boise Boise that copy, right? Yeah, Boise Mario got

The origin of the name is uncertain one account credits captain B le Bonneville of the US Army is its source after trekking for weeks through dry and rough terrain his exploration party reached an overlook with a View of the Boise River Valley the place where they stood is called Bonneville Point probably because he stood up there and went oh point it yeah they're like a happy chimp that's good gear according to the story a French speaking guide overwhelmed by the sight of the verdant River yelled let boys let boys I think it's best key actually the woods the woods and the name stuck Oh fuck. That's a that's a Terry Pratchett ass fucking way to name a city

Although although this is like there's no particular agreed origin of the name, but Google's AI review says yeah, here's here's what it means where it came from Yeah, it's just sucking up some information, shitting it out onto the front page of Google for us, just diarrhea-ing out some information. I enjoy that the only time that LLM users are interacting and grappling with the like verisimilitude or the, I don't know if that's the word, the, the kind of, the, the,

the, It's worth trying though. It's worth trying. You've got to, you've got to throw it in where you can. Um, like how, how trustable their facts are, are when like Grok will just deny some insanely racist talking point from Elon Musk and then Elon then Elon Musk is like, Oh, now, now I'm going to have to put you down like a dog, you know, which rocks. And also they're spending like billions and billions of dollars on this and to

build the Colossus, which, you know, we've got to stop letting him name things or living. And like, it's just like choking black neighborhoods with the gas turbines that they, they power it with, et cetera. But also sometimes it, it says something epic bacon. So, you know, it'll sort of give you a meme answer to a question or at all. Yeah. Did you guys see that? Did you see that report from MIT where they had studied people's use of chat GPT over six months? Like people writing essays and stuff? I think it's been posted in our discord probably 25 times. Six million times. Every single time I see it I'm like, oh, that's good. Good stuff. It's funny to you that using chat GPT to outsource all of your thinking physically causes your brain to dry up on the outside and shrink like a walnut and that's funny to you? I'm actually... It's just knocking around in

there? This conforms so well to my existing beliefs that I am choosing to believe that it is greatly exaggerated. It's almost so much what I already think is the case that there's no way it can be the case. It can't be. It has to be confirmation bias, but at the same time, yum, yum, yum. Yeah. Oh, delicious. I'm eating it up, even though I know it's bad for me and I probably should look into it more.

I'm reading the few paragraphs that people are posting on the internet and I'm going, oh baby, I'll take it. Alaska Airlines partnered with Boise Airport on Friday to unveil a custom-designed Fallen Soldier cart during a ceremonial handoff honoring military heroes on their final journey home. Yeah I'll get your ceremonial handoff right here pal. The cart marks the 17th created by Alaska Airlines employees. The 17th? Yeah.

They're really... okay. They're onto this like they think they're cooking with this idea, right? I'm sure in America they are. Available to all airlines operating in Boise airport, the cart provides transportation for the remains of deceased military personnel. And this is coming up often? What do you fucking reckon? I don't know.

It is our honor to bring this fallen soldier cart to Boise and continue our commitment to our fallen military members, said Scott Warth, organizer of the Alaska Airlines fallen soldier program for Boise. They should just flush it down the toilet. Are you assuming they're all cremated? Yeah. I was picturing it that it was moving caskets around because they don't they they love toilet They love a flag draped casket over there

Our program is Say that program is dedicated no because if I beep it people gonna think it's even worse than that They're gonna think you said the other thing that's worse. So maybe I will. Our program is dedicated to ensuring that every active, retired or veteran military member and their families receives the utmost care and respect for their service and sacrifice. The Boise Cart features an interior painting that honors fallen military members and their families alongside a metal outline of the state of Idaho.

What service? I'm really okay. Look, I'm going to get it out of the way first. Obviously the military recruitment over there is working alongside the material conditions that mean that people have potentially no financial future unless they do something like sign up for the military, right? Yes. And if you get tricked into something when you're in high school and you can sign your

shit away before, you know, you're even legally allowed to drink or drive or whatever. There are circumstances. There are capital C circumstances involved for sure. Let's get all the caveats out of the way. If you're over there and you're like 36 years old and you're being deployed to like your sixth Middle Eastern country Yeah, right and then you get you get got over there because a predator drone Thought that you were an orphanage housing someone from Hezbollah underneath. Mm-hmm

And then they have to kind of ship you home in a bucket or whatever. I feel like that's kind of your fault. Hey, I saw a video today that I hope was real, you know, that I hope was real. Let's just give ourselves a free pass for this episode. Anything that we saw, skim red, digested in a tic-tac. Everyone else is there kind of just sitting, kind of bleary-eyed, mouth open going, duh, I'll make that part of my belief system. Let us do that. Let us be uncritical. Can we not believe something for once?

You come to us for truth. You come to us for truth and for having a nuanced view of the world. We're going to take all the facts as they come. It's tiring. It sucks. And you know what? We're extending the past to you. We say in this episode, true.

Don't think about it. Don't fact check it. Don't sort of go, oh, is there a reason I'm too willing to believe this? Could it maybe have been? Skewed to represent something else now. You've just got a pass to say, you know, I heard on a podcast the other day Yeah, and then read it uncritically Let it so I saw a video from from the

no-kingsday protests in America somebody had made a video of themselves blasting a Hanoi-Hanna broadcast at the Marines that were stationed there. Because they've had the American troops in there policing Americans. And this person is playing over a loudspeaker a Hanoi-Hanna transcript, like, sorry, an actual recording of one of their broadcasts. So I was wondering Theo, if you are familiar with Hanoi Hannah, which, who's a Vietnamese radio personality where they broadcast these messages to American GIs over the radio during the war.

Is this like your government lied to you GI kind of deal? Yeah, yeah. And like, and the longer you stay here, the more likely it is that your girl is going with another boy. Oh, that's so good. Yeah, that rocks. I was just looking at one of the transcripts here.

American GIs, why have you come to Vietnam? Your government has betrayed you. There is nothing noble about your mission. There is no reason why you should be here. You will never defeat our forces. The French never learned. Will you? You don't want to be compared to the French like that.

And B, completely true. Yep. Why are you here? History has shown this. When you sit alone at night and think of your loved ones, our gallant soldiers are watching you. You cannot escape. Do you have a watch, American serviceman?

Look at it. Me. The minutes are ticking away. Soon cannot escape. Do you have a watch, American servicemen? Look at it. The minutes are ticking away. Soon your time will stop in Vietnam. You will be killed when you least expect it. Your imperialist government will never defeat us. Our soldiers are politically motivated and strong. You are weak. You have no cause.

No one wants you here. Why do you stay? Tell your officers you want to go home GI tell them you will not fight anymore So imagine listening to that and then you get shipped home to be transported around in the custom painted Alaskan Airlines Body bucket that they've created for you Beautiful American flag on it. I don't want to get all Rage against the machine here But I feel like if you need to make the special cut for moving dead bodies around the airport from foreign wars

Maybe there might be something wrong like a few things have gone wrong in the fabric of your society So the fundamental you have you have built your your your house on a waste disposal facility. A foundation of sand. Yeah. Certainly. Yeah. The blue painted exterior includes red carpet and American flag curtains with emblems representing all six branches of the US Armed Forces. These are all the departments you can die for. Rebecca Hupp, Boise airport, said the partnership represents the airport's commitment to military families.

Quote, we are deeply honored to partner with Alaska Airlines in bringing this meaningful tribute to our airport, Hupp said. You know what I reckon they would like more than that is if you were committed to military families is say like letting military families fly for free instead of like putting a sick paint job on the special cart you use to move their coffins around. Yeah. I feel like that would do more for the military families directly.

I kind of feel like if I had, say I believed in all this and I had died for my country, I do not want to go in the cart with the like velvet curtains and stuff that gets driven around the airport with a little horn on it. I just think that all of that pageantry is kind of, you know, just a bit big. I got to take a shot at this. Get, fuck, uh, go, gauche? Gauche. Yeah, gauche. Ga, g- fuck. Uh, g- goshe? Gaush? Gaush.

Yeah, goshe. Goshe. Yeah, correct. You reckon they're giving the fallen soldier cart the La Cucaracha horn? I think they're giving it the La Cucaracha horn. Just for reference. I actually think it's worse. I think it's worse.

I reckon that they've themed this special cart in loving tribute to our fallen soldiers and fucking nobody is looking up from their Dunkin Donuts as this thing goes past. I think the way that this is framed and the way they're talking about it is maybe meant to conjure an image of like, you know, thankful citizens stopping to salute the cart as it goes past in the terminal. I don't think that's happening at all. I think people are getting kind of shitty when they get honked by the little La Cucaracha horn

and they have to move out of the way with their bags. Fucking. Do you know the- I played ticket. Do you know the imagery you're giving me, Andrew, is like if that cart was on rails, kind of like shooting around in the spaceship from Wally. Yeah.

And nobody is looking up from their fucking screen. Don't worry about it. Yeah, that's fine. Wally? Yeah, I think, yeah. It's hard. It's hard because you need, I think you need an American accent to get the- Wally?

... the sort of the pun in the name there. So it is tough. Wally? That is a trap for young Australians. Okay. Wally. As an added bit of flavor. So all six branches of the US Armed Forces.

We of course know the classics. So we got Army, Air Force, Navy. Yeah. Marines. Coast Guard? Correct. Yes. And finally.

Um, the, the... Uh... Ooh. Space Force. It's Space Force. Space Force? They added Space Force to the military? How many fucking, like, if anyone from Space Force is getting carted through on the fallen soldier cart, it's because they got, like, crushed by a forklift or something. Like...

Yeah. What are we talking about here here the Coast Guard? Well, no actually probably Does the Coast Guard do like offensive action in the US or is it just saving people or are they doing like? Border enforcement as well. Oh, they're doing like they're doing like drug running stuff aren't they they're doing like trying to catch those Bugs. Oh, sorry, you mean stopping it. Oh yeah, yeah for sure. Wink. I think the Coast Guard deserves respect if they, only in the instances where they're like towing stranded vessels.

Rescuing people at sea or whatever. Yeah, so they're trying to get a whale off of a sand bank. Yes, I don't think that's their department. B- They should, it should be, if they want my respect, they should be saving whales. S- I'll fucking salute those guys at the Air Force. S- I am never, can you imagine, even in, can you imagine meeting a guardian of the Space Force? B- For me, I'm a Space Force veteran. Put that on the back of my middle-aged guy motorbike club jacket.

Yeah, cause it's- Space Force veterans for- I fought in the first space war. Cause they're sitting in the guard house at fucking Kennedy Space Center. Their feet up on the table. Jacking off with both hands. Yeah.

It's not, I mean, you say both hands. We have to clarify. It's one hand and then the next hand and then one hand and then the next hand. It's not, I mean, you say both hands. We have to clarify. It's one hand and then the next hand and then one hand and the next hand. Like they're pulling rope out of a container. But Americans could do that because they use lube to jack off. Let's talk about that. We're going to talk a little, they didn't make it into your intro. I don't like it when they say lotion.

They're going to put lotion on? Like skin lotion? You're putting perfumed stuff on there. They're going to put lotion on? Like skin lotion? You're putting perfumed stuff on there. They're always putting jokes in movies about how someone's got a bottle of moisturiser or something next to the fucking on the bedside table. What are you talking about?

I feel like I'm looking at the three seashells here. What's it for? What are you for? What are you, what are you causing so much friction for? And I understand. We know why it is. This is a joke. We know why it is. You don't have to write it to tell us.

Because of your ceiling ritual. It's because of the thing that you do. It's your superstition thing that you do. Because I feel like this is- Because you think it looks better. But it looks like an acorn hanging out of a pipe. This is a reverse coming out as a dry jacket for Theo here. He produces its own- all right. What? What?

What? The guy who uses his pre-comma's loop. Oh, you just gotta star a little bit and spread it around. Wow. Damn. To commemorate the occasion, Alaska Airlines and Horizon Air flew in their special military themed aircraft. Military themed?

Military themed? Special military? What do you... Can we get that aircraft up Jamie? Can we get that aircraft up? Jamie can you... Wait, Mark. Mark, can you pull up the military themed aircraft which is called Honoring Those Who

Serve? Honoring... Oh, sorry. I put a U in honoring. Honoring those who serve. It's the name of an aircraft. It's the name of it, let's see. This piece of shit looks, yeah. Yeah, it looks fucking stupid as hell.

The ceremony included a solemn escort beginning at the Idaho State Veteran Cemetery. Between 50 and 65 veterans on motorcycles joined Eagle Police deputies, Ada County Sheriff's Office deputies and Idaho State Police troopers in accompanying the cart to Boise Airport. There is the whole veterans on motorbikes thing, the whole middle-aged guys on a Harley dressed like sons of anarchy. The toughest kind of guy there is. It's pretty embarrassing.

As a cultural phenomenon, I think. You know when Americans would post pictures of like, uh, Korean North Korean generals with like a bunch of medals on them, be like, Oh my God, these guys are fucking crazy. Yeah. Are you able to have a look at yourself and the shit that you people do? It's way cooler. At least they can walk in time.

It's way cooler to, um, it's way cooler to have a midlife crisis or be retirement age and buy like a sick muscle car. There's so much doper have a muscle car parade. And you can be like... Bunch of fucking Cobras? You can be a middle-aged guy with a with a ponch and everything and grey hair and it's just fine. You're just a guy in a sick old car and everybody goes, Hey, sick car. Hey, put an elbow out the window. If you must. Look at me.

Actually also I'm tough. Yeah. I'm kind of a biker. Like you were like a retired guy that ran a golf supply store. Yeah. And now you have a motorbike. Me and my fellow jet ski ownership, my jet ski dealership owners are going to go on a sick drive around on our motorbikes. Being kind of tough. You're not like a one percenter.

It's a one percenter in the personal wealth kind of sense. Idaho State Police hosted the escort as part of the agency's commitment to honoring veterans. Quote, our troopers will assist in escorting a custom car built by Alaska Airlines maintenance employees designed specifically for the dignified transportation of veterans remains. Idaho State Police said the statement. I feel like they and I have different definitions of dignified. Yeah. And look, it's probably, it's subjective.

It's gotta be subjective, right? But also maybe it isn't. I think maybe it's hard to communicate to Americans sometimes how America looks from the outside. Yeah. But like we're obviously, we're subject to our own sort of propaganda and stuff over here, our own cultural things that we're not

Really aware of. It doesn't work on us, but it's it is there. Yeah, it's there And obviously we're immune as podcasters, but like I think if you watch the sort of the heightened deliberately over-the-top Stuff they do at the Nathan's hot dog eating contest. Yeah That's one of the truth of America looks looks like. That's how it feels. Hey, a bunch of those motorbike riding veterans, probably Gen X. We check in on Gen X in R slash, nope, in Gen X watch. This comes to us from r slash gen x. Had a flashback to the 80s yesterday. I live in a large Midwest city.

Yesterday while driving around, I saw a male teen on his bike heading to the fishing hole. Used to see that stuff all the time. Not so much anymore. A ray of hope. Array of hope? Don't, don't. The fishing hole. Why did you specify male teen? That feels really uncomfortable. That feels weird now.

A male teen, yeah. So I was following behind a male teen on a bicycle yesterday. Like, kids are fishing. Yeah, kids are still fishing, dude. I don't know what to tell you. I don't know what to tell you. A lot of them are on the iPad. A lot of them are playing fork knife. Sure. Yeah.

But like, Hey, can I, can I, can I be real with you? Kids were, kids were fishing when I was growing up in the 90s and I was on the computer. Okay. We always been on the computer. You look back into society in in you look back through history Hundreds of years ago you say look back then there were no people on the computer There were absolutely people on the computer you already history. I was a hybrid

I was on the computer and I was fishing. Yeah, you okay. Look it's possible I don't think you understand your privilege that you you're like a daywalker, right? You can exist in both worlds You're like the Colossus of roads. Your legs are stride. The day walker, fishing boys. Oh yeah, like I live in the inner city. I think that's fair to say in a place that is not particularly friendly to fishing. No, I think there are creeks there, but underneath the road. Yeah, well there's Rosalie Creek, which they turned into a storm drain. There's the Brisbane River, which is fucking disgusting. And I still see teens fishing constantly.

Kedron Brook! I'm seeing teens always fishing at Kedron Brook. People still go outside! Life are finds away. Yes, that's so true. Where there are fish, you will find a teen boy with a like $15 Kmart rod. Yes. And the tackle that came on it, putting some frozen prawns into a crick to catch the smallest brim you've ever seen. And I think that's beautiful. These old fucks.

They're just like, no, I bet no one buys fishing rods anymore. What are you fucking talking about? Nowadays with iPads and yeah. You don't have any kids you still see riding around on bikes? Life's still happening. Yeah. Hey, if you're a teen riding around on a bike, you should probably look out for the cops. We talk about the cops in Cubwatch.

Distinct from Crime Watch. Yes. Because police cannot do crime. Yeah. Well, yeah. Yeah. This is from KTAB in Abilene, Texas. I'll put it on the tab.

Big Country Stop brings Aussie closer to collecting all 254 Texas Sheriff patches. Thank goodness. Yeah. She's out there in the big country. He's out there in the big country. He's stopping. A retired senior sergeant from the Queensland Police Service in Brisbane, Australia. Queensland Police.

This is 100% Queensland police brain. Of course. Yeah. Uh, is making his way across the big country as part of a unique mission, collecting a patch from every sheriff's office in Texas. Yeah, I just, I've got a lot of respect for the sheriffs and the, and the American police, they just- All the hard work they do.

Well, yeah. And like, they really, they really have a thing or two to teach us about, like kind of letting you get away with it. You know? Yes. Just kind of do what you want. It's sort of nothing. Nobody ever like pulls you up or you don't go to jail or nothing.

Yeah. I don't think sheriffs can go to jail. We should have that here. I think they, they let us, you know, when I was, um, when I was like just starting work in Brisbane, a coworker showed me a video of, um, who's that old piece of shit, Texas sheriff that's like, you know, the bad one, the Joe Arpaio, Joe, you know, and him like, watching all the prisoners up and down and, you know, whatever. And he's like, how good's, you know, how good's this? They should do this here.

And I'm, and I'm like, but those people aren't even convicted. We don't even know that they did anything. First of all, right. Those are just the people in the fucking holding cells. Like I don't agree with this in any way, shape or form. And it's very difficult to, uh, realize that that's what happens when you go into the workforce is that you start dealing with people who think Joe Arpaio is good. And then you get to the Queensland police, which is 100% those people.

Yes, it's all of them. It's all of them in one spot. Brian Eaton, who dedicated more than 40 years to law enforcement has been traveling the Lone Star State, connecting with the Sheriff's office, sharing stories and trading patches along the way. That's stupid. He should have spent 40 years doing something worthwhile. You wasted your life, idiot.

Now you're wasting it for a new reason. Well, Theo, you're kind of a numbers guy. 40 years. So let's say that he retired recently. What was 40 years ago? That would be like the mid 80s. Oh, time to join in, in the police force in the history of the Queensland Police Service. So he's just gone, he's looked at what's happened in the mid 80s in Brisbane policing and gone,

you know what? That's me. That's me down to a T. I want to be a part of that. I'll be a part of possibly the most notorious corruption, like police corruption episode in Australian history. Yeah. Right? Yeah. Probably a very cool guy. When visiting the Nolan County Sheriff's Office, Eton humorously explained what sparked the trip. Quote, my wife told me to leave and go do something.

Yeah. She wants to fuck other men. That's right. Uh, during his stop in Sweetwater, he traded three different patches. Uh, a black patch currently in use, a blue patch previously worn by female officers and a gray patch representing watch house officers known here as detention officers or jailers. So this is like Pokemon Go for domestic abusers. Yes, yeah, yeah, 100%.

Quote, we are thankful for Brian's visit to Sweetwater, Nolan County and appreciated the engaging conversations and laughter he brought with him. Thank you, Brian, for your service. It was a pleasure to meet you and we wish you safe travels." The Nolan County Sheriff's Department shared online. He then stopped by Callahan County, followed by a stop in Dallas. From there, Eaton plans to head north to Oklahoma before making his way back home to Australia.

Can you fucking imagine the conversations between these like small town Texas sheriffs and a like 40 year honed racist Queensland cop. The stories they're trading. No yeah actually we would do something really similar but we've got a different kind of brown person over there. Yeah. Yeah. They are just bragging to each other about shit they have gotten away with.

I thought I would maybe just look up Brian Eaton to see if I could figure out when he retired. I couldn't, but I did find a couple of things here. This is a 2009 article from the Brisbane Times. Speeding Sergeant Won't Be Sacked. Great. A senior policeman allegedly clocked at 228 kilometers an hour while chasing a speeding motorcycle in an unauthorized pursuit north of Brisbane is tipped to hang onto his

job despite a crime and misconduct commission inquiry. Senior Sergeant Brian Eaton has been stood down as officer in charge of the Pine River's traffic branch pending an investigation over the alleged incident on the Bruce Highway at Burpengarry on August 22nd. Oh, it's very stupid to have been working for the police force for 35 years, I think, and have made it to senior sergeant. Maybe not. Maybe that's a perfectly good place for a bunch of don'ts to land. I don't know anything about the cops. It's alleged he did not have approval to carry out the high-speed chase. Senior Sergeant Eaton was investigated in 2003 over a separate pursuit along an unsealed road. The incident resulted in the deaths of two men, Andrew Hill, 33, and 49-year-old Alan Tui in North Queensland.

And of course we were reading this in the article that we were... Oh, they didn't include that. They didn't include that in the colour piece about how he's collecting patches. Cool puff piece about... Okay. But he killed those kids in an illegal chase. Yeah. Well, adults, but yeah.

Their deaths promoted an overhaul of Queensland Police's pursuit policy after it was found Senior Sergeant Eaton chased the pair at 75km an hour before their unregistered and unroadworthy vehicle crashed into a creek bed on Anzac Day 2003. So he's the reason, this man is the reason Queensland Police has a like no chase policy basically. It's pretty fucking cool. Fucking chases George over here. I have another story here. This is from the Courier Mail in 2013.

He didn't lose his job over that last one by the way. He avoided criminal charges despite a coronial ruling he had acted in a reckless manner. Yeah, instead he had his pay docked for a while. Yeah, we don't... so there's so many things that bring us together, I think, Australians, Americans. When the judicial system says that the police fucked up here, we just ignore them too. Yes. We just sort of say, hey, we don't need to pay attention to that. We kind of have more in common than we have differences, I think.

Yes. This is from the Courier Mail in 2013. Pine River's cop senior sergeant Brian Eaton allegedly nods off during wide load escort. Okay. A senior traffic policeman with a checkered driving history is under investigation again, this time for allegedly nodding off at the wheel during a wide load escort. Pine River's traffic branch officer in charge. So he got his job back as you could tell from this story.

Of course. Senior Sergeant Brian Eaton was unhurt when his patrol car struck a pilot vehicle on the Cunningham highway at Swanbank, southwest of Brisbane. Two unnamed sources have told the courier mail that the officer allegedly fell asleep at the wheel in the early hours of May 31st, fatality free Friday, a day when motorists are urged to take extra care on the roads. God, that's so funny. We are sending like,

like, if this was, if a Queensland cop was going to tour your sheriff's offices, you have sent probably the the most perfect example of one. We have sent you the median Brisbane cop. I think that rocks. Nothing really to say here. I think that, you know, obviously we can all kind of sit and think that perhaps if you're given more power and responsibility in a society, you must be subject to more stringent regulation and oversight and that sort of stuff. Whereas, you know, we just do the opposite and we let fucking thumb-headed dickwits do this for like 40 years

in a row. And then they go and they get to retire and they drive around another country. And they put you on the news. There are so many fucking news stories in the US about him visiting sheriff's officers. None of them sort of mentioning the disgraces, things like that. I personally believe in the full abolition of police as a whole. That's just my personal beliefs. I do think if we have to have them, if we have to give a certain few people in society a sort of monopoly on violence. Yeah, which I feel like philosophically, we haven't even arrived at that point yet. We don't understand. I feel like we've done that without really checking as well.

Yes. Well, yeah, this is kind of my point is I think maybe if there is this elite section of society who are allowed to dispense violence alongside the sort of the practice of justice and the keeping of the peace, probably shouldn't be like a guy that killed some people. Yeah. I know that seems ironic to say out loud, but like probably shouldn't be a guy who had caused these deaths at a time when he shouldn't have to then be the person in charge of Maybe doling out life or death decisions as a career. Does that make sense?

Yeah, and also that we should also be able to kind of like If he does that then we should be able to kill him as well. We should be able to pull all his fingers off and kind of hammer them up his dick hole one by one. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe that should be the flip side. If cops are allowed to make life or death decisions about the rest of society, the rest of society gets to make that, but only about cops. That's right. If they get it wrong, that's right. It's dick hole hammering. Yeah. But just make the stakes high. If you fuck this up, you're toast. Like you're gone. Yeah.

But the stuff you're talking about, Ben, it's in the past, you know? It happened some years ago. I'm sure the police have engaged in extensive reforms and are really good now. Yeah. Probably. Yeah. Right. Yeah, probably. Yeah. Probably.

Probably. Yeah. I saw this fucking article yesterday that was, um, that was a, a, the finding from a police internal investigation, uh, in New South Wales, I believe. Yeah. So there was, um, they should be investigating their internals cause someone hammered a bunch of fingers in there.

They should be investigating their internals because someone hammered a bunch of fingers in there. So a Muslim guy in New South Wales who lives next door to a cop and the cop had installed a swimming pool and this guy was saying, oh, well, every time they have like multiple people around in their swimming pool, all this water starts overflowing from this swimming pool and it runs under the fence and down over the retaining wall in my property and is like all pooling around the supports of my house and it's starting to cause structural damage and shit. So he said, I had put up these security cameras aimed at that stretch of the back of the house just so I can record this thing happening and say,

hey, can you please do something about this, you know? So this cop is having a pool party with his pig friends and they're all getting about in the pool and the water starts pouring down the back of this thing again. You should get a saltwater pool so they can brine themselves. And this guy, this guy goes over to knock on the door and say, hey, can you guys like cool it in the pool a bit because all this water is coming over into my property. One of the party guests, not even the owner of the house, the cop said, he doesn't want to talk to you

and told him to fuck off. And then after going back home, this guy then hears the cop and all of his friends at the party all chanting, um, alaiu akbar, uh, in the pool and yelling, boom, boom, over the fence at this guy. Right? And because he set up the camera, he has the recording of this audio and it taking place right after he's gone over there and said, excuse me, it's me, your Muslim neighbor. Could you cut it out a bit?

He's reported this to the police because he said, yeah, that kind of seemed a bit fucked to me because it seemed very clearly and deliberately directed at me as like intimidation or an insult based off my religion and making the insinuation that I'm a terrorist and everything. So the police did what they did best and conducted an internal investigation. They said, no, it's okay. We talked to them and they said that that wasn't about you.

So it's fine. So this is a quote from the inspector, the police inspector who conducted the investigation. What I can say from the outset, which is extremely positive is that the chanting you heard was not directed at you in any way. I can definitely understand how you came to this conclusion," the inspector wrote, I can assure you that the behavior you heard and captured on your devices was not directed at you in any way. Each of the

directed officers, so there's multiple cops at the party, each of the directed officers indicated that the yelling and chanting that you heard was banter between friends at a private Christmas party and definitely not aimed at you. Fuck. While I can understand that you concluded something significantly different to that, I can assure you that the evidence I have gathered from these cops does not support that conclusion and I would hope this allays your concerns and fear of anything more sinister

occurring on this date. There is no threat to your safety and welfare that I can establish from this investigation." So one thing that I find difficult like in talking to other people is that obviously other people, unless they are within our friend group and that sort of thing, it's a very hard topic to kind of go, well, actually the police are a negative force for society. Fundamentally evil. Yeah. Yeah. And that sort of stuff.

And talking about the structural kind of thing you go like who watches the watch and blah, blah, blah, it takes a while, but one thing that is easy to get over the line is to be like, hey, did you know police lie? Police lie reflexively and they lie constantly and they lie, and it is not against the law for them to lie to you and they will lie to you. And pretty much you can just assume that they're lying all of the time because that's what they do. They instinctively lie, then the police union will lie for them and then the police union

will do anything to protect them. And then when it comes out that those were lies, they don't change their story in the slightest. They don't acknowledge that they were lying. Hey, for cops lying is basically a sport. We talk about sports in College Sports Watch. This comes to us from KGUN in Tucson, Arizona. The garden.

Uh-uh. Former Pima County supervisor cited banned following drink toss at UA game. A drink allegedly tossed at the University of Arizona men's basketball game resulted in two charges of assault slash no injury and a ban order until February 24th, 2026 from the University of Arizona for a former Pima County supervisor. Sylvia Lee, who served as a supervisor in 2024 and is now retired, was cited and issued the exclusionary order following an incident at the UA basketball game against Brigham Young University on February 22nd, according to an incident report from the University of Arizona Police Department. According to the report, a drink was thrown from the stands

at the end of the game. The officer who wrote up the report said UA fans were upset over a foul call they didn't agree with. The officer saw someone throw the drink, but the crowds of people leaving the arena, plus the fact that many people in the arena were wearing red led to him losing the suspect, the report said. It's like that bit in Drive. It's blinged into the crowd. GOOSE LAUGHS Or that bit in, uh, at the start of Heavy Rain,

where he loses his son in the cl- in the crowd of balloons. Never played it. Yeah, it's bad. The drink hit the audio... You should watch the, um, you should watch the video on YouTube where someone tried to work out How many times can you piss in the game? heavy rain

Fantastic video goes way deeper than you'd expect. It's wonderful. Sounds great The drink hit the audio visual equipment and three employees at the game the report said two of them opted to press charges the third declined I employees at the game, the report said. Two of them opted to press charges, the third declined. What the fuck? I... look. Is this a combo shot? Are we getting like a... How big was this drink? Yeah.

Well, it's America, so probably a 64 ounce mega gulp or whatever the fuck. Like don't throw stuff at people, obviously. Yeah, that sucks. Obviously, don't throw stuff at people, but also like if I get hit with some splash from a throne soda at work and someone says, do you want to press charges? My instinct 100% of the time is always going to be what? Yeah. What do you mean?

What charges? What are you talking about? They threw a drink at me. I think I'll just go home and change my shirt. Getting splashed and immediately going, you're here for my lawyer. Yeah, getting splashed and going, I want to charge on your record. Lock her up. Lock her up. It's quite the reaction.

The report said the athletics department was able to provide a possible name of the suspect along with their contact information. A possible name. Sorry, going back to the three people getting hit by the drink, I'm imagining, you know in a video game where you throw something at somebody and it's got a combo system, but when it hits it gives more momentum to the ball. It gives it like, donk, like it's going to, and then the next one has a pitch up. It's got donk, donk, donk like it's gonna and then the next one has like a pitch up it's good donk donk donk like oh sure yeah yeah three by

combo maybe in Peggle kind of deal University of Arizona police were able to match her license photo with the person seen in the video footage the officer called the number provided for Lee she called back and explained that she slipped on popcorn and soda left on the floor causing her to spill her drink She said she didn't do it on purpose 15 meters away The report said Lee said everyone was pointing at her so she ran out of the building It's never great when you do something and you think maybe I'm going to get away with it and then 30 people around you turn and do the invasion of the body snatchers scream

and point at you. It was that bitch. The officer said in the report that he explained to Lee that the video footage did not match what she was describing. Yeah, probably because that's an insane thing to say. Lee came to campus where she was showing the footage. Was that you? Because it did look like you slipped?

Yeah. It kind of looked like you wound up your arm and then just sort of overhand threw it at those three nerds. You went into a full major league baseball pitchers stance. For hurling this thing. Also, why the AV team? I think they were just caught in the crossfire. The AV team should be neutral at all times, I feel.

Yeah. I hope they didn't bring their own equipment because that'd be a huge fucking, it better have been the university's equipment. Oh yeah. They've got to do this shit on contract. It's like all out of pocket. My thoughts and prayers are with the AV team and their equipment. Uh, she was cited for alleged assault slash no injury and issued the

exclusionary order, the report said. Lease book with K gun nine on Monday, stating that when she called the sergeant back, she told him more than what's written in the police report taking accountability for her actions quote the game had just ended and one of the BYU players that was on the court was taunting my daughter and saying some some obscenities under his breath under his breath going back for more lying going back, first lies disproved. New batch of lies begun. You telling me that a player from BYU was mouthing obscenities? From Brigham Young University?

I don't think the guy from BYU knows any obscenities. He's from the fucking Mormon University. Yeah. Like he's, what's he doing? He's like, oh, you're a PP head. Oh, you're butt face. Oh, you're a little... I think he's fully saying peepee head. Stinky butt.

I had a mum moment that was very, it was kind of like a blur. I threw the remnants of my Diet Coke trying to get him, but I missed him and I got two other people, I believe. I don't know who they were. So I cited for a misdemeanor for assault. Leigh went on to say that she deserved it. Great. It was something that happened.

It was irrational. It was emotional and it was totally out of character for me. I'm assuming the reason for the assault charges is that she had one of those like superhuman mother moments where you can flip a car to get it off your child, you know, except she was hurling that 64 ounce diet coke like a bullet, you know? It got subsonic everybody heard the boom in the auditorium supersonic then Shredded through some stacks of amps before splashing onto the AV guys She goes on to say that she hopes she's remembered for all of the 40 years of community service She's done instead of this one incident quote

I hope that doesn't change the outlook outlook of those that know me and have worked with me I had a mom moment and my guess is that a lot of parents out there have had something that's happened where they got Quote, I hope that doesn't change the outlook of those that know me and have worked with me. I had a mom moment and my guess is that a lot of parents out there have had something that's happened where they got very upset because somebody was taunting their child. Oh, Mama Bear came out. And even though my daughter is in her thirties, she's still my kid. Very funny. Come on.

I must protect my 35 year old daughter what are you talking about all falling apart right at the end there you know great punchline I feel like if you hear someone being rude to your 37 year old child you as a parent don't have to go into like a barbarian style rage yeah your parent don't have to go into like a Barbarian style rage. Yeah, your vision doesn't need to turn red You don't need to start hurling improvised weapons at the person who's like Being mean to your adult child you Berserk mode punching all of the flesh off of their body, leaving only a skeleton. That's right.

Even though I don't think you should try and get somebody charged for a thrown soda, I think you should be getting someone charged with a crime. That said, I do think that throwing a soda is very disproportionate to thinking you saw someone like intend a word. Yeah. I mean, they didn't say it, they didn't say it they didn't say it but I could tell. I could tell they wanted to. Somehow that to me that is worse than going I was mad because of the call. I was mad because of the ref call. You ever get mad because of a ref call? Everyone has like at some point in sports right? Hey here's my question. How come refs don't know what they're doing? How come they don't know, hey, they should put me in. How come the ref's always making calls that support the other team and not my team? That team had one more player on their team.

The ref. Yeah, that's right. And they shouldn't be allowed to do that. They shouldn't be allowed. They should be on, on, near the team. Yes, but vaguely supportive of mine. Quote, my advice is think before doing something so stupid and really look at the whole big on near the team. Yes, but vaguely supportive of mine. Quote, my advice is think before doing something so stupid and really look at the whole big

picture before you act. I learned a lesson there. What big picture would have stopped you from hurling the- This is- Wait a second, this action is part of reality. Oh, okay. Did ChatGPT write this apology? Maybe.

I mean, probably. That's the world we live in now. That is, now of days? Yeah, can you make me sound reasonable and not like a fuckhead? That's weird, that's changed every single word of what I was gonna say. ChatGPT, write some contrition. Yes. Make me sound introspective.

Make me contrite. I will not read this before setting it. Hey, I think this was definitely an episode of the podcast. Punta Vista. Um, thank you so much for joining us. If you made it all the way through this episode, you might like this podcast, which means that I can recommend to you getting a second episode every week for the price of a cup of coffee a month, patreon.com slash bunta vista. It's there's nothing weird or crazy about the episodes.

They it's just like you get two of these. Sometimes they're better. Cause we've had a couple of beers when we record on a Wednesday night. So, you know, the energy is a little looser Sunday, more of a morning thing for us. Stay safe out there. We'll talk to you real soon. Bye! In my shirt In time's running In time's running