Boonta Vista - EPISODE 410: You're Already Living In Corn World

Episode Date: August 24, 2025

Lucy, Theo, Andrew, and Ben bring you: Too much corn for some but not enough for others, a plane timeshare you never agreed to, a man in the roof intercepting your calls, and a man who only wants to sound the alarm. *** Outro: Bells & Circles - Underworld and Iggy Pop *** Support our show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista *** Email the show at [e-mail]! Call in and leave us a question or a message on 1800-317-515 to be answered on the show! *** Twitter: twitter.com/boontavista Website: boontavista.com Twitch: twitch.tv/boontavista

Oh, Happy everyday, my brown juicy pussy needs some handling. This guy's cutting. The guy in the blue shorts, he's cutting. He's not drinking water. He's dehydrated. Yeah. Dog Hunt, 23F.

for a is that for anyone various locations I haven't done this in about two years but tonight I'm bored horny and want to be tracked down

how this will work you must have a condom single girls will be given the location if you DM I won't respond to other DMs if you find me I will take you to a different spot to fuck

appear up my location for 30 minutes max before moving to the new location please for the love of God don't ask randoms if you're here for the Reddit event I'll howl before I leave if I haven't been found first,

location is on my profile. You'll help? Can't act like a blood-borne character about sex. You can't just be like, come find me, I'm moving around. By the moonlight,

I will be found by the north wall of the chapel. You will know me by my ha-hole. Hello, welcome to Buda Vista. Episode 410, I'm Ben, and I'm here to introduce the Bunta Vista Tracer Celebrity, the sister where we find

celebrity who is roughly your age that you use as a comparison to see whether or not you are old Theo you are very close to being exactly the same age as amelia clark from game of thrones do you feel older or younger than amelia clark i feel just the right age for as for amelia clark like to be with or to be amelia clark just to be amelia i feel like we got a lot in beautiful diction rock and body yes great hair

beautiful pouty lips mixed creative output Andrew you're basically the same age as Kieran Kalkin do you feel older or younger than Kieran Kalkin about the same

although I guess it kind of fucks me up to be able to see him in like the home alone movies Strange, isn't it? You know? He's just a little child. Is he in the movie? Is he as well in Home Alone?

Yeah. He's in Home Alone. He's the little cousin who's drinking all the Pepsi and he's going to piss the bed. Okay. I watched that movie when I was a child, so I don't really remember it. I have children, so I've watched it with them. They like the violence. Oh, they'll watch new movies?

That's cool. Yeah. That's cool. Very cool. So he's the younger brother. Is that right? I believe so. There's a lot of them.

There's a lot of McColk. There's a bunch of them. There's a lot of McCulkins. A lot of McCulkins. Culkins. Yeah, Cawley McColkin. Cawley Coulkin. McCauley Coulth.

It's Cawley, it's Cawley McColkin. It's McCauley McCulkin. Fuck off. I was saying that we had just shown the kids the good son with McCauley Calkin, and that's got Rory Calkin and Quinn Culkin in it as well. Quinn, the Roe. rarest colkin.

Yeah. That's the rarest Kalken. I see many of them. Your parents were bad. Usually got to go to a trade meetup to get a Quinn Culkin. He's one that got tossed into the ice by the evil,

evil McCullough Colkin. I'm also exactly the same age as Little Wayne and I suspect I'm going to live longer than him. Shit. Like, on the day? Same day. Wow.

Man. He feels like a million years old. I'm sorry, Little Wayne. Maybe he was just young when he was at his peak He was young when he was at his peak It was like 2006 I'm going on the club Yes Once

Decided we don't like it More than once I went a distressing number of times in Mackay Okay What was the name of the club in Mackay? I couldn't I couldn't tell you What was the colour of the boat shed at Hereford Could not tell you

Lucy You are roughly the same age as Jonathan Lipnicki Do you feel old or younger than Jonathan Lipnicki. Jonathan, which one's that? The human head weighs eight pounds in Jerry McGuire. Oh, that horrible little boy.

Oh, no. I mean, he's a horrible grown man now. Awful. No, that makes me feel old, actually. He didn't care for that. Because you kind of, you have to think, like, how long ago was the movies when he was a kid? Stuart Little, yeah. Stuart Little, yeah.

But if that's that old, Then how old are you? You know? Yeah. Is this the intro that makes you all feel good? This is a real feel good intro. Yeah, that's right. It's nice to compare yourself sometimes to a celebrity.

Be like, how am I doing? Oh, Jonathan Lipnicki got jacked, but he also looks like he's four feet tall. Yeah. Which is fine. That's okay. Sometimes getting jacked is the only option you have when you're four feet tall. Yeah, I'm not saying... I'm not saying it's not alright to be short.

I'm just saying in these photos of him that I'm looking at, he looks a lot like, does anyone remember that, like, Russian child with, like, mad six-pack abs? It was a meme at some point in the past. I'm not usually looking at that stuff. A little jacked Russian children. I usually like these sort of insane micro-celebrities,

but I don't know if I know this one. I don't know if I don't think of any healthy way to find this. They had a Russian little Hercules. Jacked little boy. Because America had a little Hercules They should have got them to fight Yeah Oh finally we sort this out

Yeah Clash of the Titans I don't remember that one I do I do remember the The enormous toddler Looking felt

It was like sitting on the bed Sitting on someone on the bed The giant baby Awful Awful What was a toddler That's right It was their age

It was a toddler Yeah Why were they That size It's not like They weren't like obese, they were just enormous. Yeah, they had a big frame.

To the point where it's like, is this... Built like a linebacker. Is this like an actual like 14 year old that has a condition? Yeah. Is a toddler? Big toddler? I don't even know how to Google this either. Big toddler.

Really big baby, real life. Yeah. Not spirited away. Have you checked the mirror? Giant baby reveals what he looks like now. That's a good handler. But even bigger baby. Oh, no, this is a different big baby.

Different big baby. Just search big baby meme. I found a big baby. We should make them fight. Baby was way too big. Oh, he's awful. Child, microcelebrities from the internet. Ben, I was just thinking of Little Hercules, the American jacked child.

Oh, he didn't have a counterpart. I'm sure he did. I'm sure he did. They're doing all kinds of stuff over there. Yeah. They got Russian technology happening, you know. What a headline. Viral posts are relentlessly making fun of a big baby,

but his mum says he's actually a healthy three-year-old. Oh, you're a healthy boy, aren't you? I bet you love a pureed apple in enormous quantities. My mom putting some protein powder in that before you. I got to thinking about the Boutavista Tracer Celebrity System because I saw a clip, a video, on Facebook of an interview with Mac DeMarco, who is roughly

about the same age as me. I'm maybe a month older than Mac DeMarco, and he looks rough. Like he's just looking worn, road worn. He's living that road life and he also looked like Paul Shear as a teenager. Yeah, you sure did.

He kind of looked like that the whole time and he's putting the miles on it. Yeah. Seems like a, cool guy, unless any of those allegations are true and then he seems like an absolute dud. Yeah. Uh-oh.

Great, great pull on the Paul Shear comparison. I mean, if you're thinking, tooth gap, think. Yeah. Paul Shear. A lot of people at home nod and... See, I got a big tooth gap. You got a beautiful tooth gap. That is true, actually.

That's the point. I would say you're not in Paul Shear weight division. They would put you in a bracket further down the list. Paul Shear. American? We talk about Americans in America Watch. This comes to us from KSNT in Kansas.

The Saint. Yes. Record corn crop puts Kansas. this farmer's at risk. Oh no. Yep. Free corn. We can't be giving this corn away.

Surplus corn. We cornered them. Huh? And you're the one that's not hungover. You guys are fucking morons. The U.S. Department of Agriculture projects a record 16.7 billion bushel corn crop this year,

threatening to lower already record low corn prices. A lot of bushels? That's a lot of bushels. That's a lot of bushels. I'm doing my part, honestly. I'm probably eating more corn than the average person, and I don't think I can really put a dent in 16.7 billion bushels. I mean, that's why they've got to make their syrup out of it.

They've got to make everything out of it. They've got to make syrup. They've got to make their fuel out of it. Oh, Theo. That's good foreshadowing. Well, I can kind of picture rise of EVs, the lowering of the. E10's got to be a scam, right? I've always believed that

and also I think they're just topping it off with water I don't want to sound elitist or smug I know I come from an unbelievable place of privilege

because of my comfortable lifestyle the price difference between E10 and regular unleaded is like two cents a liter sure

so if you're getting Is it supposed to cost more or less what's the deal I think it's meant to cost less it costs less I didn't think that was 10% on ethanol

but I thought it was supposed because 10% 10% ethanol that's fewer hydrocarbons, it's burning cleaner, but it doesn't actually burns like shit. Well, I thought it was just worse. I thought it was just like someone to put 10% water in there. Maybe I shouldn't be in charge of a car. No.

No, it's, I mean, it's 10% ethanol. But it's the cheaper option for a reason, right? Yeah. No, I don't think so. I don't know. Is it supposed to be a price thing? I thought it was supposed to be like greenwashing for petrol to go like, this is the environmentally friendly version of this.

I think it's both. I think they get to water it down a little and you get to feel like you're doing something correct by buying it. Lucy is no idea what's going on here. I have no idea. I never feel like a car. When you drive a car,

there's a little hole on the side that you've got to put fuel in every so often. And you're going to go like, hey, when will I know? Well, there's a gauge on the dashboard. You can put in the wrong one at the petrol pump that just like bricks your car. Yeah.

That seems kind of silly. Yeah. Put your car on curbside collection. Kansas farmers produced $3 billion of corn every year, averaging 700 million bushels, produced over 5.5 million acres, according to the Kansas Department of Agriculture. Although corn is grown in all 50 states,

Kansas ranks sixth nationally in production, and this year is supposed to be a record breaker at the national level. You know, it was only in the last 12 months that me and Eleanor watched Interstellar for the first time. Yeah. And I really liked the whole We're all just eating corn All the time

That's all we've got And to be honest, we're tired of it We lost Rudebagger That was a nice We lost Whitloff Nice prediction for the future of America I think When you're growing corn in all 50 states

When you're concerned That you have once again grown way too much corn When they say $3 billion worth of corn I think that's misleading Because that's kind of suggesting that there is demand for 700 million bushels of corn.

True. Or that corn has an intrinsic value not decided upon by like market forces. No, in fact, the government is constantly intervening to prop up the bullshit corn market. But now they're putting the sugar back in the Coke, right? Yeah. He's putting the sugar back in the Coke. He's putting the sugar back in the Coke. Yeah, and that's a direct threat to the corn market.

And he's threatening the corn farmers. With a gun. With a gun. Keep going on it. I'll kill it. We need you to grow it. We don't want it, but we do need you to grow it. We'll pay you for it and then we'll just churn it over, you know, whatever. Just till it under. The price of corn is currently experiencing a five-year low, selling for an average of $4.49 per bushel,

according to macro trends. What's a bushel, you reckon? I think we've covered the bushel extensively previously on this podcast. Oh, I guess I'll go fuck myself then. What if we teach America about a little thing called supply and demand? You know, they probably haven't heard of that over that. I'm sorry, Theo, it's 64 U.S. pints. What the fuck? What does that?

Pints of corn? So fucking stupid. Pints of beer. What the fuck are you talking about? Do I have to picture the corn cob like in a pie cup? In a beer glass? Is there any other way to measure a pint? It's 35.2 liters.

Does that help? Leaders of corn? Okay. So a bucket is about nine. I don't, okay, you're... Oh, they're probably talking about a dry pint. So, so apparently, this is making me angrier and angrier. The imperial pint used in Ireland, the UK and other Commonwealth countries, 568 milliliters.

In the United States, two kinds of pints are used. A liquid pint, 473 mils. And the less common, dry pint, 551 mils. What are you guys doing? So it's got to be a little crate or something, right? It's not, it's a measurement. There isn't just like a physical one type of thing that they're storing the corn in. Well, how are they measuring?

I mean, they'd help to measure it. Like if it was a video game, that's probably how they would represent it. You should measure it in crates. This is down from $6.95, just three years ago, and almost 50% change. Record-breaking corn yields like the one expected this year would only drive this price further down, devastating farmers across the country. It's grow less. Grow less, guys. You've grown too much of the stuff.

you grow and now you're fucked yeah because the yields are too good everyone else grew too much well but then they should have been growing less corn years ago it should start tapering that shit off

yeah if for the others to win some have to lose right you personally want to have a big yield but you want a bunch of other people to have terrible yields yeah but your yield looks great maybe

been maybe you've been kind of investing in your yield you've been putting minerals in so that some zinc in there so that yield is bigger. He's talking about cum. He realised we've got 15 minutes without talking about cum, and so he's decided just to sort of put that in there. How about a bit of collective action among the corn farmers of America? Everybody commits to only producing, you know, like 50% of what they were producing in previous year.

Quiet corning. Yes. I saw a yield so small the other day I had to close my laptop and to come back like four hours later Can we have a little decorum please Where did you see this? On my laptop No what was the context

Like what were you watching on your laptop? Oh pornography Yeah Oh you saw someone else had a tiny You were disgusted by a tiny load You saw it in a pornographic video which I assume you didn't even pay for and you're complaining about the size of the loads.

Maybe it was a normal load. Maybe that's actually a normal load and your concept of water. You're so warped by porn. You think guys have got big loads all the time. Yeah. Actually depends where you are in your cycle. Quote, corn growers are already marketing their corn

for extremely low corn prices. And this massively projected corn supply without market-based solutions to increasing corn demand is already causing corn prices to fall further, said National Corn Growers Association President Kenneth Arden Jr. I think we can increase the corn demand any further, right? I feel like we're at max corn demand.

It's in everything. Not being doing this for decades, right? To go like, well, turn into petrol. Peak corn. America needs corn farmers. Big ad campaign, national and campaign, drive. Hey, when was the last time you had homemade nachos? Like making the tortillas yourself?

Niximalizing your own corn? No. With like CCs, maybe. Oh, sure. Last week. Cool. Don't my answer. Always a hit.

Chopped up smoked pork belly on there. Oh, fuck out. Oh, hell yeah, dude. I usually just put like mints on there or something. Yeah, I bet. Quote, because we need markets fast for this supply, we are redoubling and intensifying our call for Congress to pass pending E15 legislation that will allow for year-round consumer access to higher blends of ethanol and for the Trump

administration to quickly broker deals that will open new foreign markets for corn. Now, they've got the right idea there. Asking Trump to make a deal. He loves to hear that shit. Mr. Deals? Loves to hear that shit. How do cars go with E15? You reckon.

It can't be good. I don't know. They would have done it if like, they would have done it if they could have. Like in America, if they're like, we, if it feels like probably 10% might have been the compromise. to be like surely if they could put more corn in the car they would they would have done by now the problem for farmers across the country is that supplies outweighing demand the NGCA believes that allowing year-out access to a 15% ethanol blend

will create an additional demand for 457 million bushel of corn this new ethanol policies include in the nationwide consumer and fuel Retailer Choice Act of 2025, which was introduced to the US Senate on Feb 13. While this would help alleviate, some of the pressure facing corn farmers across the country would not solve the overall low profitability of corn. Stop doing it. Grow a couple of things. Diversify.

Diversify. Like, oh, I'm going to put all my corn cobs in one bushel. Get a different job. I'm taking an anti-farmistence. This is good. Paramedics, farmers. Learn to code and then unlearn because AI has stolen your job. Learn to corn.

I don't like the vibe of this. Rather than change anything else that we're doing, yeah. What we demand instead is for like an infinite and ever-increasing demand for corn. It's giving me a bit of that like, it's giving me a bit of that, I don't know if it was it a game or was it a story first the asking a computer to make more paper clips thing oh yeah the um paperclip uh game that's the one that's the one i think about

paperclip factory yeah yeah yeah until that subsumes the entire like universe oh you'd love that shit yeah it's good bit yeah um browser based good fun um but yeah it's just what happens if you if all the interests of everything else are subverted to just demand to create one thing. That's what they want. They want Cornwall. We're really good at growing corn.

You're living in Corn World. You're already living in Corn World. Your bread tastes nasty. What's that about? You put corn in the bread. They're running out of things to put it in? I mean, they just put fucking everything in everything. I mean, corn bread is good.

No, but they're talking about it. Corn syrup. Corn syrup in the bread. Nasty. The high fructose corn syrup. I don't know if you guys have heard about this. They got that high-fosed corn syrup. They got that nasty serum.

And America's problems, re-corn. When they're asking to open up new foreign markets for corn, I feel like everyone's got access to corn, right? Yeah. Kind of got corn on tank. We've figured out how to make corn. Even if you live somewhere where, like, maybe it's hard to grow, we could just send over some tins of corn.

Is corn New World or Old World? New World, right? But I think around the 1700s, maybe everybody. had access to corn. Corn's another one of those ones like potatoes and tomatoes and stuff, isn't it? Where, like, there used to be this incredible array of differently coloured, different looking corns. Yeah, and we're breeding.

And we were like, no, one kind of corn. It must be yellow. Kansas also faces additional struggles with corn. Eight counties have tested positive for a fungal disease known as tar spots which can negatively impact yield by reducing ear weight, curdle fill or worse. But aren't you, aren't you yields too high? Your yield's too big. Get that tar on there.

The yield was too big. Tar it up. Globally, but my yield personally is too small. Look, that's not your fault. It's just, but if you want to increase your yield. It's a normal size yield. Oh my God. Have you guys ever seen glass gem corn before?

Yeah. That sounds beautiful. I've seen so many types of corn. That's incredible. That purple corn, that's beautiful. I think I've seen two kinds of corn max. Grass gem corn looks like a, like a, like, a bag of jellybellies.

Airloom corn. Why don't we have airloom corn? Beautiful heirloom corns. I know, right? But that's not what they're growing over there. No. No, they're growing corn. Corn. It's a one type of corn.

I reckon what they should do. Regular shafts. The world's only corn palace in Mitchell, South Dakota. They should appoint like a corn king whose job is to decide, like, the bottom 10%, No, the top 10% of corn farmers get, like, beaten to death. Oh. Bringing the overall pool. You don't want to actually.

You want to have a medium yield. You want a medium yield. That's the job of the corn king is to regulate the yield down to medium level. I mean, you don't want too much. You don't want too little a yield, but you don't. Yeah, we need some corn. So you're trying to cultivate a new system of like the yield is right, where you want to grow closest without going on.

going over. That's exactly right. And if the corn king or queen arrives at your farm. Corn person. If you see the corn monarch coming. Don't run because he'll catch you. He'll catch you. He'll catch you.

Yeah. You can hide in the cornfields for a while, but he will catch you. He's really good at being in cornfields. Another 23 counties have tested positive for Southern Rust, another yield limiting disease. Western bean cutworms and army. Worms in western Kansas are also consuming developing kernels and clip silks. Look, producer yields even more.

I'm, I'm not like a religious guy. I suspect some corn farmers are. And all I would say is like, as you demand that the world open up and accept ever more of your corn without a thought for others or how much corn they have already, whether they actually want any more corn, you know, maybe you should ask. Is God trying to tell me something? Yeah. Diversify from corn. Yeah. If you are just trying to grow an unlimited amount of corn every year

and then like these sort of scourges, plagues, if you will, keep affecting your crops. Maybe pull it back a bit. Or potentially, if you're looking to drive markets, just rewrite the Bible so that the serpent offers Adam Neve a nice bushel of corn. Oh, because you're under the impression that it's an apple, right? classic Bible idiot mistakes

it's a non-specific fruit oh is corn of fruit no it's a grass actually it's not even a vegetable it's a grass okay is that fun delicious grass quote my family survived the 1980s farm crisis Hartman said

I don't want my daughter to be talking about the 2020s farm crisis in 40 years situation is dire a new market demand is the only way we're going to dig out of this yeah or it's the other things less corn

I get it. They look good. They're cinematic. Cinematic. A cornfield at sunset. Oof, a big red barn. That's beautiful America, baby. And that's all Kansas has.

If you got rid of the corn, it'd just be dirt and rocks. They'd be fucking miserable. Nothing but Maximus Decimus Meridius walking through a field of corn, politely brushing his hand. That's right.

That's right. mainly what Corn is for, I think. That's quite... Is that the name of the character? It is. Oh, that's quite interesting because it's very fitting for the name of the Corn King.

Decimus? Like 1 in 10. 1 in 10%. Neridius, the middle? Because he's trying to get the average... Average yield of corn. For the maximum price. Yeah.

There we go. Holy fuck. Wow. And if any of that Latin is wrong because I'm guessing based on what words it sounds like, I didn't go to one of those schools, All right.

Hey, Kansas. You go to a grammar school. A lot of people want to leave there. And they leave by plane. We talk about planes in plainly speaking. This is your captain speaking. Please return your seat to their upright positions as we are coming in hot on another edition of plainly speaking.

What fuel are they putting in? What are they putting in the plane fuel, Lucy? Is it ethanol? I don't know Not often reading about Kerosene Kerosene Stuff that explodes

That's for sure More petrol Okay Avgas I've heard of that Avgas Yeah I'd hope so

You'll need it to fly It differs from Avgas will travel Oh and they call Motor Gasoline Mogas I didn't know about that Oh man That's quite funny

Imagine being such a played person that you have to specify car petrol with specific groundies. Fuel for groundies. Yeah, I just have to go against some mogas. Mo gas, yeah. That's what I call gas. This is sent into us by listener Jules. Thank you, Jules. This is from WKRC in Los Angeles.

The Crock. Claims someone keeps stealing his plane and taking it for joy rides, even repairing it. Okay. You lost a problem. Yeah. Can we revise the segment for this one to be a GTA world? It is a bit GTA world, isn't it? A man was left confused and frustrated after discovering that an unknown stranger has been flying his plane,

landing it without a scratch and even repaired it. Here's the thing. Many strangers are unknown. Yes, most strangers are unknown. How do you know he's been flying it then? Wait a second, I know that stranger. Strangest, just the pile that you haven't met you. Oh, he's doing the taping a piece of hair over the door of his plane trick.

Real low-fire James Bond stuff. Jason Hong, 75, told the Los Angeles Times that he's been at the center of a bizarre and inexplicable crime spree involving a man who keeps stealing his plane. Jason Hong, the low-fire James Bond. Quote, I got confused, Hung said, remembering the first time he noticed his plane was missing. I thought, did I park a side? somewhere else? Did the airport manager move it? Where did I park my plane? Yeah.

He's walking through. He's clicking his plane keys. That's not it. Not that one. What's the flash? Hong soon learned that an unidentified man had stolen the plane on at least two occasions and flew it over Southern California. Fuck, that's so good.

Neither Hong or authorities could determine who stole the plane, but two days after the aircraft was reported missing, it was found at an airport some 25 miles away from its initial location. That's so good What kind of plane We're talking? I don't know actually Stetsner or something

Yeah sure I think so When Hong retrieved the plane He was surprised to find it Without a scratch And with no signs That have been stolen Besides some cigarette butts in the cabin Smoking in there as well

I don't think you're supposed to do that That's such a good move I mean I guess you could I mean you can't Like in a Sessna or something You just keep the window open Just yeah Yeah, sure.

Tap your cigarette part out the window. Your plane has been stolen by the bandit from Smokey and the bandit. He decided to remove the plane's battery so that it could not be stolen again. Furthermore, he planned on returning the next weekend to ensure no further damage had been done to the plane. When the next weekend rolled around, Hog arrived to the airport to find that once again the plane was missing. That's so good. What does that look like? You go out, like, realize there's no battery, go, oh, all right.

Yeah, run an errand. I'm going to go to battery world. You go one of these? You got a plane battery? This time it was found around 18 miles away from the first airport the thief landed at. Even stranger, someone had replaced the aircraft's battery. Is he in a kind of Tyler Durdon situation? That's kind of way I landed on here.

I see someone's been flying the plane. Like repairing his own plane in a fugue state. He keeps going to different airports and they're just like, it's good to see you, sir. It sounds like this guy just thinks it's his plane. Yeah. I think he's just taking the wrong plane on accident. Like, they all look the same.

Oh my God, there's another new story from 18 miles away of the guy being like, someone keeps stealing my fucking plane. They took my battery. They took away my precious cigarette butts. Clerical era, they both have keys that work for this one plane. Hong said authorities have not been able to identify the thief due to a lack of security cameras, good to know, but that he used an app... Every time we check the check-ins, it's just got your name on it, sir. He used an app that tracked airplane flights and learned that the thief had taken two joyrides on a Hong's 75th birthday.

So the other guy is registering flights with his plane. Well, it's probably got a tracker in it, right? Oh, would like, an amateur, like, hobbyist plane have a thing in it? No, but you talk to, like, air traffic control. Oh, of course, because you've got to kind of announce your... You have to have, like, clearance and stuff. Don't you have to file paperwork and shit? Yeah, maybe.

Like, even if you're leaving from, like, a regional airport? Sorry, the fact that he learned that the thief had taken two joined rides on his 75th birthday as well. He's having a great day at home. While the cat's away. We'll fly your plane. Well, he's a day from Busters with the family. Hong speculated that the thief was at least somewhat flight savvy since quote landing is not easy

and that the man would have needed specialised tools and knowledge to replace the plane's battery He probably knows how to fly the plane It kind of sounds like a pilot It was implied It sounds like a pilot I think he just thinks it's his plane This is different from

It feels like possibly the polar opposite Of that guy that stole the helicopter The helicopter guy Who managed to get one just off the ground Pretty impressive And everyone's like, holy fuck, this guy's a natural. A helicopter prodigy. If only we could turn him away from a life of crime, alas.

Put this man in a helicopter. Hong said that the suspects likely spent hundreds of dollars just to steal the plane, pointing at the new battery, the tools, and a new headset found in the cockpit. Yeah, but planes are more expensive than hundreds of dollars. So on... On balance. On balance of what you've gotten for free. He's sort of, yeah, he's way ahead.

He's just doing some neighbourly quid pro quo to me. He's just, oh, I'll take your car out and I'll fill it up before I put it back. Courtesy, common courtesy. He's kind of doing a time share with the guy now. Yeah. Except the fact that he keeps leaving it at different airports to the ones he started from. So is he like... Well, he's going to bring it back, but they go and they take it before he has the chance.

But then how does he find which new airport it's been taken to? Probably the flight logs. Probably the flight. I don't under, yeah, there's be flight logs. You can't be off grid with these things. I think this guy's talking shit, honestly. I think he's entered a huge state. He's having stretches of missing time and he's going crazy.

He starts smoking when his other personality comes on board. Yeah, he wakes up all his clothes smell. It's like, why am I coughing so much? One pilot from the second airport, the thief landed out, claimed he noticed a woman in her 40s or 50s sitting in the plane's cockpit instead of the airport's air-conditioned lounge. Hmm. Struggling to make sense of that. Yeah.

But it sounds like she was the plane thief. It kind of sounds like she's in your plane. And it's a cool lady. Yeah. Earlier in this, they say that it's a man twice. How do they know? But not based on anything specific. Is this just good old-fashioned classic sexism?

I think it's good old-fashioned sexism. It could be a lady flying the plane. Yeah. The father was. the pilot's yeah the pilot was the father's daughter pilot was the father's daughter

we sorted the riddle yeah Hong isn't taking any chances and chained the plane down in the airport hopefully dissuading any would-be thieves until he can get a full inspection done on the aircraft you shouldn't have to do that just don't worry about it like they're not damaging it

I think it would be kind of annoying to rock up to the airport and be like oh it's that another one again it's not that far away. It's like a 20 minute drive. Just drive. Yeah. Just take public transport. Yes. Slyly sharing a plane

with another person that doesn't know about it for a while. It's sort of a scam. We talk about scams in Scamwatch. Warning, warning. Someone has successfully or unsuccessfully attempted a scan and must be judged. This is Samwatch.

This was sent into us by listener Morgan. Thank you, Morgan. This is from WGRZ, the Grizz. The Grizz. Getting grizzed out. Why is this guy so horny today? What's happening with you, T-Bird? I had two glasses of wine last night, and you're on one.

Man calls United Airlines customer service gets connected to someone else who takes $17,000. Please. Dan Smoker was trying to salvage a dream vacation, but it ended up in a nightmare. Sick name, though. Dan Smoker. He's a little bit of the sick name forever. I think he's one of the chain smokers. They both got the surname Smoker, I think.

Yeah. Remember those guys? They sucked. Remember the chain smokers? They were really annoying. His call to United Airlines customer service line ended up with him talking to someone else who charged his credit card for more than $17,000. The airline is now investigating. Smoker was set to take his wife, kids and their friends on an 18-day trip to Europe in late May. Family's first flight got cancelled after hours

of delays due to mechanical problems. The next morning, Smoker said he was on the phone with the United's customer service line for more than three hours. He said he tried to work with an agent named David to re-book the trip to a partner airline. Smoker said David told him the cost of that flight would have to be charged to his credit card, but United Airlines would refund the money. Of course. They love doing that. Classic, classic move. Smoker said David put him on hold for a long time and came back and said he couldn't book the flight

and again assured him the $17,000 charge to his card would be refunded. Oh, so just a $17,000 charge for no flight. Don't worry about it. Well, I've taken you money, but it turns out the plate is full. Well, good luck out there. Good luck. Smoker said that David eventually re-booked the family on another United Flight out of Newark

and upgraded their seats to premium economy. Oh, that's an odd detail to include it there. The flight took off and the vacation was saved. But months later, Smoker was still waiting for that refund. So how did you... What is, yeah. And the other guy, he was... Yep.

A confirmation email. What if this guy somehow is getting the calls diverted to him, And then he's like, yeah, let me just put you on hold for a second. And then he calls the airline and does the whole thing. But he just also takes $17,000 for himself off the credit card. Except it didn't actually do anything, right? It didn't. It was just the $17,000 with nothing changed.

Well, it says he said, David rebooked their family on another United Flight. Upgraded their seats. The flight took off. The vacation was safe. Oh, I think he just did that on his own. Oh, no, you're right. It was David. He said David did it.

How the fuck is David doing it? Did he just do it online? What? Did he take a bunch of this guy's details and then go online and sort it out for him and then come back and say, sure, you'll get that $17,000 refund later? Man, do you think what's going on here? This is a great episode to be confused. Do you think he tried to talk Dan Smoker out of upgrading to premium economy because that would have directly, it did. to his profit

because he's only making a flat 17 grand regardless so it's in his interest to be like oh no he's got a cap on his profit yeah although that's kind of generous of him as a scammer to be like ah you know what

give you an upgrade I'll still get a fair chunk of money I'll give him the upgrade I think it's more that he knows that he's hosing this guy and he's like how about he gets one last little treat out of it yeah a little bit of extra leg room extra leg room gets to sit further away from his kids or whatever

a confirmation email about the refund said the process could take 45 to 50 business days in july after the time had passed smoker said he contacted david at the number in the email david answered the phone and said he would look into the delay and to expect something in 24 hours nothing happened when smoker tried to call david back calls wouldn't connect how do they not have the purchasing details for the replacement flight made by the scammer. David, the scammer.

Huh. Well, we haven't heard from United yet. Frustrated, Smoker contacted Steve on your side. Consumer investigator Steve Stager scanned the confirmation email about the refund and found a number of red flags. Did you just mean he read it? He just had to look at it. We got Steve on it. Most notably, the email wasn't set for.

from a United Airlines email address. Oh, come on, man. Good spot there, Steve. It's so good that this guy has $17,000 for flights and can't look at an email address. Fuck. Just like the same amount of money as a used car, just plopping it down on a flight.

Yeah, just go to Octavia. Yeah. And on Smoker's credit card statement, the upgrade charges for the family's Newark flight indicated they were from United Airlines, but the $17,000 charge was listed as a generic company called Airline Fair. Yes.

So good. God. So, oh no, wait, maybe. No. Yeah, maybe did he get, did David just get Dan Smoker's credit card details from him to book the flight through the portal. So it would still just be charged to him.

To Dan Smoker? Oh, to his credit card details. Yeah, gotcha. I guess. Because the charge is like, listed to use United Airlines, which means he paid for them, right? So, anyway, Stager assumed Smoker had looked up United Airlines phone number on Google, a common way travel scheme start with fake phone numbers leading to phony call centers. But Smoker provided Steve on your side with a call

log showing you had contacted United's customer service phone number and hadn't made any other suspicious calls. The more I looked into it, the more clear it became that it was a scam via United system somehow, Smoker said. Now how that happened? I have no idea. A spokeswoman from United Airlines confirmed that several calls from Smoker's phone number were made to their call center on the morning in question, as his call log indicates. After Steve on your side started questioning the interaction, Smoker said a representative from the airline called him and confirmed there was a matching call with a huge discrepancy. Smoker said the representative told him that the call where he had connected with David for more than three hours showed in their log as a 12-minute call. Why were you on the phone for more than three hours for this? Well, maybe they had a rapport.

No, that's a whole mark of the boomer getting scammed. They stayed on the line for like hours at a time while getting rinsed. Tell me more about growing up in your small country town. I bet things were better back then, weren't they? And the scammer's just watching this little bar tick over, like 4% scammed. And how much did Stomber? stuff cost? Did it cost lots, or it was comparatively much cheaper? Expand on that. 14% pig butchered.

Quote, they say that at that point I had dropped off and they don't have any further recording, Smoker said. You got done by someone from the Matrix, I think. No, you got done by the aliens from contact. Yeah, that was my first look. I've only got fucking 12 minutes. 12 minutes of Blank tape, yeah. Well, that leaves two hours and 48 minutes of just pure static. Like, is someone fucking doing some like 1995 hackers shit where they're plugged physically alligator clips on the phone line? They're freaking.

They're freaking. They're freaked his money away. They're using that whistle that imitates the sound of the tone that gets you the free calls or whatever, the Captain Crunch whistle thing. Like was. Yeah, like was. What did the old-timey lady from the John Wick switchboard say when she put you through?

Like, or is this a guy that works in there? That actually works for United. Can you forward a call to a number that's not within your phone network? I have no idea how phones work anymore. Yeah, I don't know. It used to be there was just wires, but now there's like internet involved. It's computer in between. They put computers in the phone now.

He reported the $17,000 charge as fraud to his credit company and is waiting on an investigation there. He said if the credit card company declines the fraud claim, he hopes United will cover the loss. More importantly, he wants to know how he got transferred to David in the first place. Quote, they have a system that people are supposed to trust, Smoker said. I trusted that system. There was no reason that I shouldn't have trusted that system. I was scammed as a part of it. United Airlines customer service

this is what I put my faith in yeah really trustworthy but like you got to assume there's someone in a call center what if the person in the call center doesn't live in America I think he's physically in the building but I don't know where the building is

he's in the crawl space David's in the fucking he's in the comms room yeah he's like what I'm what I'm trying to figure out, right, is like, where's the incentive for the insider in the United Airlines system who is porting this call off to somewhere else, right?

They get a slice of the pie. Oh, yeah, yeah. Well, yeah, except that if you work at United Airlines and they easily figure out that you are the person who was diverted who took this call and then shot it off somewhere, you get fired and you probably get charged with a crime and go to prison, right? Yeah. Except what if they're like, what if they're outsourcing all their calls? centers to like Bangladesh or whatever it's just some dude in Bangladesh shooting his call off

to his other buddy David in Bangladesh and they're just sorting this out together $17,000 would be nice yeah it's a big yield and you don't have to kind of share any of that yield with uh you know the other person doesn't need to taste of the yield if it's a guy inside flicking it off even if he's in Bangladesh they could still just be like hey it was that guy yeah I think it's definitely some like in the crawl space, five laptops open, and he's waiting, he's looking at the flashing lights to see when someone's like, can you hold for one second?

He just takes up the hold. David's getting sucked off by Halliberry. Yes. Hello Barry. Hello. Quote, we've been in direct contact with the customer to understand what happened in this case, so you know that spokeswoman said in a statement to nine news. Just check the news.

Why didn't you just read this article to find out? Yeah, listen to this podcast. Quote, we are reviewing this matter thoroughly. We're committed to finding a fair solution for him. I would say you should commit to finding the guy in the fucking crawl space. Yeah. Just have a look. Have a look around.

Just poke your head up through one of the tiles, shod a flashlight around. Get in turn up there is. A really pale guy goes, oh! My laptops. Nude, completely nude. Yeah. And he's greasy. Because it's hot up there.

I go hack of tombs? He's nude up there working at the switch. board. You got a nedri in the roof. You got a slippery tombs nedri. Pardy in your ceiling. She wouldn't answer

further questions about how Smoker's call might have gotten transferred. Yeah, of course. Of course not. Yeah. Smoker said a United representative told him

this week that the details of the corporate security investigation into his call are considered internal and may be confidential. Yeah, we don't want to tell you. I think they know. about David.

They definitely know about David. They just kind of accept it, yeah. They keep moving him on to new call centers. It's just a... You can't fire him, you know, with the way things are these days. With the way things are, yeah, because he's got a condition. Keep kind of moving him around. It causes him to get into the city.

Smoker said the... It's a tumsitis. There's claustrophilia. Smoker said the United Representative told him that the that the calls were confidential and then got into his Rolls-Royce and left. Yeah. Hey, for this guy, this was a dispute.

A common kind of disputes. Uh, neighbor disputes. We talk about them in neighborly dispute watch. This comes from ABC 7. Man arrested after repeatedly blasting horns alarms for months in California neighborhood. Cool. I'd kill this guy personally Yeah

After countless complaints from fed up neighbours Los Angeles police Wednesday evening arrested a man who has been blasting horns and alarms from his home for months Neighbors say Gary Boyadzian Has been blasting the sirens intermittently Since June in the Van Nuys neighbourhood Why? Not allowed to have a hobby now?

Oh he has a reason Quote, it's irritating Said Bernard Fipps Who lives right across the street from Boyadzian He needs help but what kind of help does he need. Try going over there and saying what's up what's up with the alarms? What's up with the horns? Hey man, what's the go?

He needs help turning those alarms off. Video of the arrest shows Boyadzian yelling loudly as he's led away in handcuffs by officers. Prior to the arrest, LAPD said it reached out to other city departments to not only get the noise makers shut down but to get Boyards in whatever help he needs.

On Wednesday morning, hours after the arrest, officers gave Boyads in an administrative citation. Quote, they advised him that if he is using the horn to stop using the horn because of the disturbance it is causing in the community

advising him not to do that LAPD Captain Chris Zine said Maybe he doesn't know that it's bothering anyone Yeah sometimes He might not know

And people are so conflict diverse That they would never be like It's actually a bit of a social gaff To continuously blast horns and alarms Yeah Maybe he's just like Oh I'm so sorry I didn't even realize

But no one will talk to each other They'll talk to the news They'll talk to the police The police. They'll talk to the assassin that they're trying to hire to kill you. That advice only lasted about two hours. By noon, Boyanzean was back blaring his horns. Just pacing, pacing the county lock up the whole time.

No one's blasting my horns right now. I've got to get back home. It's so funny every time they do. Like the lady that couldn't stop booking the hotels. Yeah. They're like, I'm out. I shan't stop blasting. Book.

Do you say more blasting? Quote, LAPD told me they're setting me a ticket for the horn disturbance in the mail. And I told them I would stop. Boy, Anzian told ABC Los Angeles affiliate K-A-B-C earlier in the day. But I just went back and left them a message. I'm not stopping until justice is served. And the justice... I shan't be stopping.

The justice is the honking, right? No, I'm serving justice by honking? No, the honking will do until justice arrives. Right. Exactly what that justice is Only Boy Adzian seems to know When KABC asks why he sounds off the alarms He floated an unsubstantiated story

About the mafia trying to kill him And the LAPD assisting in the plot Right, so he's got like a Maybe he's got a grite He's got a lot going on Maybe he's got an alarm that he sets off When he thinks he's about to be killed By the police and the mafia

It's just like a reminder They're coming to get you I think it's to remind his neighbours And maybe to alert them to the presence of the mafia and the LAPD and then if you come over and he's not being murdered it's like the horns work

let's get him off yeah if the horn's stop that's when you should be worried yes they got him they got to him mafia finally got to that poor bastard

quote I need help boy adds in said Tuesday and I don't know how else to cry out for it you've got a really specific way of crying out for it yeah he's genuinely in distress

seemingly but I don't know it's like how baby cries are distressing to us right like we're we are evolutionarily um predisposed or you know adapted to find baby cries really disturbing so that we can help the babies that's just the way we can't be angry at them we can't be mad at them that's just their way of saying help i have a need that isn't being met this is his way this is the only way he can communicate that need saying help he's saying help me but will you listen no you'll complain to the news will you hear his The problem LAPD had in arresting Boiadsian is that an officer needed to hear the noise in person.

By the time officers arrive, Boyadzian turns the alarms off. Yeah, it's very funny. Really good. And officers also have no way of arriving quickly as well as we have thoroughly covered. Yeah. Quote, that horn's being used intermittently, Zine said. It's not being used when the officers are present, so the officers can't take enforcement action. That's just so good.

Imagine standing on your front step. There's like four cops there and you're like, hello, officers. How are you? Quite a date today. That's a real. There's no rule in the book that says a dog can't play basketball. Yeah, absolutely. Oh, the police can't, they can't do anything unless they witness it.

Surely there's like recordings of this, right? Yeah, can like a neighbor be like, well, there it is. Make a video on your phone? Not like you just walk to a few neighbours And see if they agree or something But yeah I don't know Boyadzian apparently left for several hours

And when he returned police were nearby Quote he came out and thought everything was over So he went out and watered his lawn Neighbor Bob Donovan said A couple of plain clothes vehicles just pulled up Real quick and snatched him on the lawn He was yelling and screaming and resisting arrest The horns placed high on a tree in Boyadzian's backyard

Haven't been taken down yet LAPD hasn't announced what charges Biazian is facing. For residents in the neighborhood, silence never sounded so good. Sorry. Wait one second. Yes. Maybe I blanked out for a moment there while I was administering my Plex server.

But have we mentioned that the horns are not car horns until this point? That they are mounted in the trees? Yeah, he's got a like a high up tree-based sort of sound system going. I mean, that seems like it should be illegal, right? That seems like the police would come out and say, yeah, hey, are you the neighbours? Oh, those horns? They're just decorative. Yeah.

Could it be those horns up there? I just store them up there. I only play easy listening through them and it's very quiet. This is not a particularly interesting bit of trivia, actually, but I'm going to say it anyway. On the John Hopkins album, Music for Psychedelic Therapy. There's some parts of the album that he recorded, then took to a friend's, a forest on a friend's property, played them through speakers that he'd hung up in the trees, and then recorded that recording and layered that in in the song.

Isn't that nice? Very good. I was on acid the first time I listened to that record and I had already, I knew that little tidbit and I was just like, I can hear the fucking trees. It's amazing. Good for you. Thank you. Finally, neighbor Jim Phipps said,

now we can relax and just live our lives the best way we can. Back to shooting my gun into the air in my backyard. I couldn't hear myself think. Bang, bang, bang, bang. Frankly, I think this guy is innocent and I think his shitty neighbors should have come together and be like, what can we do to make you feel safe and supported

so you don't have to do this? So you don't need the horn. That's right. We want you to feel. like you don't need to be honking that horn for 14 hours a day. Quit honking that horn. The guy that's worried that like the LAPD is assisting the mafia and killing him, do you think getting arrested by plainclosed like cops in disguise?

Yeah, it's probably not made him feel good about it. Kidnapped in daylight. Yeah. While you kick and scream, he thinks he's getting murdered. Yeah, probably made things like a million times worse. Yeah. You could have knocked on the door and had a little. I don't know.

Hey, bud. Have a conversation. Before you call the fucking cops, be your neighbor. Yeah. You're part of a fucking society, dip shit. And this was definitely an episode of the podcast, Punta Vista. Thank you so much for joining us. If you want more of this, bonus episode every week.

Patreon.com slash Bunta Vista. Price of a schooner, a bit less than a schooner. Probably the price of a pot of beer at this stage. Increase our yields. Our yield is very medium. For less of the price of a wooner. a pint of corn I think

yeah slightly under no it's slightly over either either way we will talk to you very soon stay safe bye

boy you make smoking on the airplane smoking on the airplane everybody did it they gather on the back on the way to Australia and all up up as once outside the bathroom

And that's why if I had wings, that would be a bad idea.