Boonta Vista - EPISODE 417: Sweaty, Glassy-Eyed, Breastfeeding A Seal

Episode Date: October 11, 2025

Lucy, Theo, Andrew, and Ben bring you: One man's feelings going into Locktober, a pair of unrelated incidents that can't bode well, a seal on the mend, and the RIPing Report. *** Outro: Softcore - Tamaryn *** Support our show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista *** Email the show at [e-mail]! Call in and leave us a question or a message on 1800-317-515 to be answered on the show! *** Twitter: twitter.com/boontavista Website: boontavista.com Twitch: twitch.tv/boontavista

I can't say, but I can get a $1,000 and I should dance, I like that. That's going to go to the boge. That's very good. I've had $800 worth of stuff for a BCF, man. Oh, yeah. I love to be, I love to see you, and God help me if I don't love the answer. Hello and welcome to Bunda Vista, episode 470.

17, I am Ben, and we're here on past lives, the podcast where we talk to people whose lives have been touched by where they were before they came into their current form. Today, we're talking about tope children. Children whose past lives as boring, uninspired, dud aliens have made them preternaturally uninspired and boring duds. Even at the ages of three or four, these supernaturally gifted tope children are working at real estate or HR and posting Instagram stories about having a Friday night in watching friends for the 25th time and drinking a bottle of yellow glen sparkling.

Lucy, when did you know that plentifer was tope? Oh, plentifer is tope? Pletifer is tope. Pletifer is a tope child. I mean, you just know, don't you? Like when your kid comes out, you're like, hey, my kid's kind of fucking boring. Yeah. You've got to know, right.

Your kids saying, like, internet catchphrases from like 15 years ago. Yeah. You're three-year-old is saying, cash me outside. Planetful, we don't. It's medical experiments time. No, it's not in this house, please. Theo, how are you encouraging Rangerman's tope traits? Well, first of all, I'm giving him normal foods.

Sort of sausage, vegetable, mashed potato. Yes. And he eats it all up with no worry at all as to whether, like, any of them are touching or anything like that as well. And so in this scenario, your kids are also not autistic. I, my sister saw my son doing, yeah, well, that's all right. My sister saw my son doing something very particular, and she said, oh, he's an old soul, isn't he? And I just immediately formed the system of belief that the older your soul is the more autistic.

Well, that matches up with what we're talking about here, doesn't it? Torp child This is basically His second time round Everything is fresh as daisies And he's not interested There's a whole world out there But he really likes his corner

I sort of just place him in the corner He likes what he has 45 degrees Loves that point where one more meets another Andrew If you could Would you choose for tonned Toad to not be tope?

I don't think so I think it's really part of who he is, you know. It's kind of his superpower. It is. It kind of is. And I know it's true as well because I took on to a galactic medium. We sat down and we investigated his past life, you know. And we unlocked a memory from his past life when he remembers looking up and seeing the brave adventurers in their rocket ship break.

the bonds of gravity as they set off towards the belt of Orion, and he just kind of looked back down to the ground and went back to idly kicking some pebbles. Yeah. They don't know what that all means. Just thought, not for me. Not interested. Not really interested. Space, not of my

business. Seems like a lot of work. Seems like a lot of work. Most kids are star stuff. Hours or not. They're busy reading the books that are on like the bestseller shelters at airport bookstores. Yeah. My little plan of her. She's already reading Colleen Hoover. You wouldn't believe it

at her age. Just finished the subtle art of not giving a fuck. My son went back to looking at his favorite thing, the middle distance. Trand or whatever mine's called. He's reading Dean Coonster, eight-year-old level. You reckon Dean Coonser's normy shit?

Oh yeah. Sort of, right? It's not big player. Yeah, it's for people who are kind of queasy at some of the stuff that happens in Stephen King books. Yeah. Yeah, Stephen King's a bit more edgy, a bit more out there, more alternative. Less people heard of them.

Okay, fuck off. He's got like a, like, there's an underage orgy to solve whatever the problem is, and it, right? Like, there's... I think it's it. I think it's it. I think that they make the alien go away by creeping him the fuck out. And violence and all that kind of stuff.

And Dean Koontz is very PG-13. Yeah. Big spider comes into the room. Whoa! Oh! Oh, I don't want to... Sorry, I didn't see anything. I didn't see anything.

I got to go for a couple hundred years. Do you guys... Do your parents know that you're out at the moment? I was just not here to get directions to the adult normalogy. Going back underground. Maybe in a couple hundred years it'll be some normal kids. Yeah. Coming back to eat some tope kids.

This place is fucked up. I'm going back to the other dimensional whatever. I'm going back to clownland for a bit. Coming back on the other side of the wormhole where it's weird clown spider wife. How was work? You wouldn't fucking believe the day. What a day.

I actually don't think it would be appropriate for me to talk to you about it. I'm actually going to call, I'm going to call, you know, they've got the employee services program, whatever you call that. EAP. I don't want to put this on you, honey. I don't want you to know about this.

EAP. So I'm on my way to be a clown spider man eating children or whatever. There's no guard rounds. There's no protections in place. He wasn't a clown to start with. He's not a cloud alien who came to Earth coincidentally.

We had a culture of clouds. He manifests as a clown. Is he a man? He didn't come from the cloud dimension. Well, he's an alien spider. That's always being a spider? Is this in the movie? He talked to the guys of the clown from

there was existing clown stuff. Yeah. And he was like, I like that. I'm going to be that. He didn't come from the clown dimension. He's not like one of the... He's not like one of the killer clowns from out of space from the movie killer clowns from out of space.

Correct. Those are from the cloud dimension. I think that's where I was getting confused. What a movie. Hey, Stephen King, that guy had some stuff going on. He could have benefited from talking to a doctor. We have our own doctor and we talk to her in Beijing Dr. Lucy. having a little relationship trouble

just to pick up your telephone and dial it on the double you call 1-800-317515 Now you're pageant dot go to sea Now you're pageant dot go to see Now I've chosen this thing that we're about to talk about Because it's to use the small to talk about about the large, you know, the specific, to talk about the general, you've read a little bit

ahead, haven't you? Wish I didn't see the first line. It's really ruined it for me. Yeah. So, you know, we don't have to get hung up on the details of this guy's life in particular. It's more to talk about a larger phenomenon, but I thought this would be, what are we, with top down reporting, right? Or top up reporting?

Are we top down thinking or a bottom up thinking? Top up? Which ones you start? I'm a bottom up. I'm a bottom up processor. Yeah. Head down, bottom up. That's the way I process information.

This comes to us from R slash chastity training. Now, I usually don't include people's us on this because I'm worried that people are like go and harass them or whatever, but this is honestly the best Reddit username I've ever seen in my life. This comes to us from Little Pee-P husband. People love. Small to talk about. Don't blow up my spot.

I was just looking on Reddit Ben to see if people think that killer clowns from out of space is what age they think it's appropriate for for like younger kids to watch a horror thing. And the first reply is, it's pretty tame, they should be fine. And O.P. replies, thanks, baboon underscore farts. Great. This post is titled, Loctober surprise. Oh, Loptober. Locktober. Well, we're going into L'October.

Is it locked over already? It comes earlier every year. We missed like 10 and 11 days of it already. Well, I started on day one, obviously. Locktober comes earlier every year, but I don't. Yes. Yes. Woo!

I'm a pussy-free cuckold and used to orgasm almost daily, albeit supervised, and under specific humiliating circumstances. Okay, can I? I'm so stuck on the word pussy-free, Pussy free is so good. Like, not even with a hyphen. It's just one word. Pussy free.

Child free, dog free, pussy free. I like the idea of invoking pussy free is kind of like a, I'm a more evolved being. I have ascended beyond the need for pussy. I'm thinking of like an allergy. Me? I'm living pussy free, brother. Yeah.

I've got to go pussy free for a while. Do an elimination testing. Right, now just try and put it in there Okay, probably not that Ben, can I, I hate to do this I think I might have not caught everything in that one sentence I might need one more time

You know what, all of it's good But I think it's the last three words that really get me I'm a pussy-free cuckold And used to orgasm almost daily I'll be supervised And under specific humiliating circumstances The name of my autobiography I'll be it supervised.

I'm going to need more detail on the specific humiliating circumstances. He's got a whatever thing. He's got an invigilator? Yeah, he's got the come invigilator. Come invigilator for his pussy-free orgasms. That's his beautiful wife. Cellar door.

To this point, I've been caged if we're apart for a day or two, or if I'm very horny and she doesn't want me tempted to do any touching unsupertural. Oh, God. Yeah, that makes sense. You know, she's not going to be around to be like, stop it. And it's for those, if it's for that length of time, you don't want to be wearing the gloves. Stop touching it. Get out of it.

Out of it. Leave it. Leave it. A little bit of citronella in there. It's going to put you in it in different rooms. You can't stop touching each other. The threshold of the doorway and just sort of. your pelvis out.

I think the solution of that problem. Dick and balls through the hole. Yeah, you get them to stand through a glory hole then you put like a club lock on the other side. Yeah.

Here's where the unexpected enthusiasm came in. She also has an online sub. No, she also has an online sub. Yes. Emphasis very important. English is such a beautiful language, isn't it?

He's done long-term chastity before and he is no touch. She's been telling him he's doing locto. and telling me about how he's been whining and fussing and she's been putting him in his place over him. I'm about to refill the spray bottle so many times.

I've kind of joined in a bit, encouraging her to be strict with him and take him deeper, suggesting rules, etc. So this is nice. They've got like, they have stuff they do together, you know, about his sexuality and stuff they do together about her sub-sexuality as well, which is very much. I disagree.

To me, this is like. Like when the scheming vizier thinks that he's on the same level as the king. Oh, my liens tell him he can't, he can't come. Lock his nuts up, my feet. Yeah, but when they're like, yes, yes, when we take over the kingdom, and the king goes, uh, we? What? A smaller cage, my lord, for our son.

Your son, my lord. Then yesterday, I messaged her at work and say something along the line. of it's subboy's first day, is he locked? And she responds, it's your first day too. Yeah, remember you're at sub two, you little bitch. Yeah, Locktober. Surprise, motherfucker. Look at the calendar.

What was the view like from up there? Hold down. Exactly. With the dick in this cage. You thought you were up there on the pedestal with her. That's all I'm saying. You thought you weren't putting your dick in a cage? You think that's there?

Your dick's breathing? I had a little thought in the corner of my mind that this might happen, but dismissed it. Regularly, she likes me easily accessible for teasing, etc. So, you know, once the dick out so she could just be like, oh, I touched it, not going to touch it again. See, this is the kind of thing in AI, I don't think, would be able to pick up the subtlety, the context.

running on from the previous body of text when he says available for teasing Yeah When he says We're talking about his little penis My little penis is available for teasing Yeah

For his wife to just sort of give it a little light slap For a little Gucci Coot Hard flick Hard flick Dick out Cooking past her She walks past little Oh man

If it's me I'm carrying a fly swatter around with me in the home. Right on the tip. You know, it's not going to, like, do any injuries. You can't, you can't, I don't think you could, I think it would take so much work to injure a penis with a fly swaner. But catch them by surprise?

You've been facing the stove, you just realize you haven't heard your wife the last five all of a sudden, she's army crawling on the floor right up to you, reached up with the fly swatter. Fly swatter between the legs from behind. This is such a wretched dimension that they occupy. The male psyche is so beautiful. Hey, this is, it takes two to tango. To come in and out of this dimension as well every day to like do normal.

Go to the office. Yeah, but they're still caged in the office. So they're not leaving the dimension. They live in the dimension. Maybe that is the, he's probably the boss. He's probably the CEO. Yeah, he's probably the CEO of son. You know how they always are.

Sam Olman. Pussy-free Sam Olman. He looks like a pretty pussy-free guy. Yeah, it's pussy-free. Now, look, I don't want to... I enjoy sex as much as the next person, I think it's nice. But these people... As long as I'm not the next person.

Get me out of here. Having your whole life be about this sounds exhausting. Yeah, that's right. It's the sense I always get. from these. It's like, especially for the woman in this scenario, it's like, you've got to be doing you're trying to get on with your day and your husband's like, oh, I wouldn't want to be in my

little cage. I think she's, I reckon she's. That's the vibe I get from this. Yeah. She's the barbett master. She's watching that thing dribble and going, yeah. I think there's two. I think there's two possibilities. One is like, you know, you know, some people

talk about like they're getting into their marriage and they've been in there for a while. or like a long-term partnership. And people do sometimes get into that mode where they're just kind of not interested in sex anymore. And one partner's very interested and the other isn't. And that can be like a big problem for people when like all the other aspects of the long-term relationship

and cohabiting are working. And they're all good. But one person's needs aren't being met. The other one would like you to stop trying to meet their needs, you know? No idea what you mean. This is a great solution. This is a great solution. great solution. Doing

Locktober is a great solution? For this scenario, because you know, if you're the one who's being pested in this scenario, it's like, hey, how about, here's an idea. What if you couldn't do any stuff for a bit and it was naughty? And then you like, as soon as you get

the lock on, click or out of the fuck off. Yeah. Get out of here. Go be horny in another room. Go be horny in another room. Dr. Swivels around to look at you in his chair. Okay, I'm going to prescribe you locktober. It's a Experimental treatment You've got to apply this every day

It's not on PBS yet But there'd be many good results From the internet Pick up a cock cage Just behind the counter at the pharmacy I think there is kind of like a drawback To this solution where you have to sexualise Your every waking moment

To not please them sexually To please them sexually Yeah I think And this is one of my normie opinions That is going to make some segment Oh, our listen is angry at me. You know what?

That's fine. Let's go. Keep it to yourselves, guys. I think this, just for me personally, very personal opinion, I like my sexuality, very compartmentalized. And as in, I'll have my sex at home with the door closed. Thank you. In privacy. The aspect of this where it's like, I'm going to be locked up and I'll go to the office

and I'll know that I'm locked up all day and maybe I'll get a message that's like, or maybe I'll take it out and laugh at it later or whatever when it has this sort of effect of you're going around sitting in your office having all this horny weird shit going on because it's happening right around these other people

and I just always have this vibe of like I don't love I don't love the idea of like people kind of unwittingly being involved in your sexual shit you got going on. You know it's crazy to think about that like in your day to day life Like if you go to the office, one in three people that you're talking to

are either caged stuff or both. They got a thing up there. Or caging someone else. They got a thing in there, you know? Look to your left. Look to your right. Someone's buzzing. Someone can't get a bono.

They're everywhere. The fucking air is thick with the Bluetooth of hidden little butt vibrators that you don't know about. And I'm very sure that a lot of people have the mindset of like, well, if other people people just are never even aware of it, that it's not hurting anyone. Fair enough. I see that point of view.

But for me, I guess I'm always thinking about that kind of, if somebody found out about you, that every day that you were sitting next to them in the cubicle, down at the GIO insurance building, that you were just thrumming with sexual energy because you were caged and hoping to get yelled at that evening, how would they feel about it?

I mean, if you are going to do this, you've got to be fucking, your obsec has to be, Perfect. You've got to be the fucking nighthawk. You've got to be stealth bombing. You've got to be completely fucking undetectable. You can never be lightly drooling. You can never be audibly buzzing. You can never give like covert hints in conversation with them like, how's your morning been? You've been like, oh, it's been delicious. You can't do anything like that. You've got to be fucking perfect. I'm always saying that. I'm always answering questions that way. How are you feeling delicious today? A delicious morning. And you haven't come. That's not normal to say. Your partners? A murder.

Yeah. Omerta. That's right, Ben. You can't be walking around work saying I haven't had any sexual gratification at work. I haven't touched my penis even once at work this morning. Oh, what? That's bad? If I understand correctly, that's what you want me to do at work.

I can't figure you people out. Oh, I'm not allowed to not come at work. Is that it? I would hate to be let go from work because, you know, I couldn't stop yelping at the remote buzzings. I was receiving during an all-hands meeting or... Ironically, because you were doing a no-hands all-cans. No hands, no pussy. I'm going to the toilet to clean up the shit in my pants.

Yes. Perfect save. If you are going to do public play stuff, you've got to keep it just like completely off the radar. You know, if you are going to reveal to people that you're doing footsies under the table or whatever, fine. That's the full extent of it. You can't be, you know, don't drag people into your shit if they don't want to be part of your shit. Yeah, I don't want to hear that you got a foot job next to me at a dinner party, you know? Unless I think you're attractive and then maybe I'll hear about it.

Yes. Okay, that's kind of hot actually. But we have to have an existing relationship for that to be fine. If you happen to beat Salma Hayek from 2002, are you talking about footjobbing at the table? I'm going to turn in my chair and go, really? That is so interesting. So interesting, tell me more.

What's the game show where they have to turn the chair around if they like it? You're doing that to Selma Hyac. You're like an ex-factor full spin? Sexual anecdotes from Selma Hyac. Yes. I'm doing an exorcist full head rotation. Looking straight back at Selma. Really?

I'm standing up from my chair, mouth gaping, one tear, running down my face. That is so enlightened of you, I'm saying. The longest I've gone before was four days, so I have a bunch of different thoughts and feelings swimming around my head. I want to come, I want to come. Come now, now I come. Come. Orgasm. Cheers.

Please. Jesus Christ. Oh, this is gone. Please, please. Please. Just white knuckling through every meeting at one. What's that? I'll get that right to you.

Flass and penis jumping around in the cage, like a Brumby backed into a corner. I can't do this, I need out. It's wild! It's got to be free! Oh! Jesus. Someone tapping you on the shoulders

can you attend to start screaming? God, no! Do me a favor, don't touch me at work. Don't touch me at work. Don't touch me at work. Touch me away. Don't talk to me until November 1st. It's for the best of us.

Asking for a special working from home dispensation for the entire month of October. Can't really get into why. I have some October obligations. Some personal things. It's more of like a personal observance kind of thing. Don't touch me by the way. Don't touch me. Don't touch me away.

Some people are very horny. They're just horny on another level to me. Which is fine, by the way. Which is fine. No one's going to yell at us now. Don't worry, guys. I've got us covered. Some people have more juice than others.

Yeah. We have the normal amount. The four of us are all equally normally interested in sex. Yeah, before when I said with the lights off, Andrew's story, I immediately remember that I don't know which one's the normal one. Lights on or lights off. And I haven't been able to work it out from context clues.

Yeah, I like all of the down lights in the room turn up to full brightness, and I hold my phone with the flashlight on. Yeah, cool white bulbs. From below as well. I have like a minor's helmet with the big bright light on it. All right, so lights off as normal? I think they're all. I would argue that's the normal one, right?

Like, is that what Normies are doing? Isn't that the joke? I don't know. I feel like it's on TV. It's like a running joke for like. Like, unfulfilled, married couples. Is that what it is? They don't want to look at each other.

Or they can't stand to be naked around each other. Too shy, maybe. Yeah. Like a, if you got a dimmer, you're all set. A dimmer, yeah. Dimmer is the ideal. Some lamps. And maybe the classic candlelight.

Well, no one's having sex with the big light on. That'd be fucking insane. Just like shining directly into your eyes the whole time. Get some floodlights from Bunnings. They've got those flurals. Eyes are closed. She must be really enjoying this. It's like reaching for the golf fires

And again, we're all normal We all lack to sex The normal amount of it We're doing normal-ish stuff And the weird stuff we like The bell curdie It's good to just keep it private I want my weird stuff to be private

Or it's not enjoyable I want people to wander Be like Yeah I don't want people to wonder Is he caged right now He might be Did he fight about

Out about October Because he's doing it? Just turning around At the barbed And hitting it on something Donk. Just click. Fuck.

Breaking some glasses. The distinctive sound of a chastity cage hitting an empty stainless steel keg. I'd hate to be. Rotating the keg and just quink, clink. I'd hate to be in a rush to make a flight and then you get to the full body scanner.

Oh. I knew I forgot something. Oh, damp it up the security guard. Yeah, it's October brother. You know what it is. You know what it is. You know how me. There's going to be a right spot.

Oh, you don't like it? Let me tell you about it. Oh, into the room? Into the room over there? You don't see a lot of bright... With this other guy? You don't see a lot of bright crotch zones on that thing very often? Can I...

I'm the first one today? No way! I think the full body scanners, you know how they're moving to those instead of just the metal detectors? Yeah. When you have to stand that way activates biopathological demand avoidance.

Oh, I was going to say, Does everybody else, does everybody else get into position and, like, line themselves up with the silhouette? Yeah. I have to do it. I'm compelled. You have to, don't you? I don't think you, I mean, yeah, they do make you. But I think they made it up because it makes you feel like undignified.

It's like humiliating to stand that way. I feel like a fucking child. And then they like never tell you to come through. And then it's like they seem annoyed that you didn't walk away. It's like, I don't know. I don't know. I don't fucking know. I don't fucking know.

I don't fucking know. I just introduced these only five years ago. I've had no time to get used to them. and I don't like them. I really fucking hate them. I think the little silhouette of the person on there it triggers the part of my memory that remembers playing like

Dance Dance Revolution at the arcade. Yeah. Where you're like, oh, I'm meant to be doing what you're doing on the screen. Like those connect games so you've got to fit through the shapes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just like that.

You guys are doing a lot of great armwork right now. It's really hard. If you could hear those arms. Theo, what if they did put in a screen on there and you had to step in and match the shape. Oh, yeah, okay. To get past, I'd be way more into that.

Let's make it fun. Let's gamify it. Gameify it. Yes. And like the security guard guy gives you a little thumbs up if you do a really good job. Good job. And if you're bad at it, you're holding up the line for 40 minutes. Yeah, it's big red X is popping up. Terrible.

Please enter the room. They have that like guitar hero thing where it starts playing a loud crowd booing. Not boarding You no longer get to travel to Ecuador Feeling a little anxious Not in a bad way About how much more control I'm surrendering And if she ends up deciding

To make chastity a regular thing But I'm feeling some calm too That I don't need to worry at all about my little penis Is that the dream? That for one day your fucking life, you don't have to worry about your little penis? Maybe just stop thinking about your little dick, like for once. Sounds like you're spending a lot of time thinking about your little dick all day long.

Sometimes when I read this stuff, I kind of want, I want like a photo of the penis next to a ruler with today's front page newspaper. Yeah, I need to see this thing. Because if you've got like an average size dick and you're doing little dick sort of role play shit, get the fuck out of here. This is my culture. Stolen dollar. Yeah, it is your culturest. Like, what are you worrying about instead? Are you usually worrying that there will be some situation where your pants fall down and everyone sees your little penis?

And now... Constantly. Now maybe your pants fall down and instead people are saying, huh, what's that shiny little stainless steel cage where a penis should be? Oh, dude, you like it? Yeah, that's what's up. Locked up? Locked up? Locked over?

Locked over. Lock brothers. Posting my October fundraising page. on my Facebook Oh my God your great art

is like just donated $15 good luck Oh October Lox Spencer donating to

Beyond Blue for Locktober Oh October For autism Research They're doubling donations

for the next 20 lock minutes And at the end of the month you pull the money out

Give it straight to your mistress Oh, that's mine. Oh, yeah, my mistress, she's evil. She's kind of wicked. I don't need to worry at all about my little penis, that it's locked up like it should be,

and I can just turn over any decisions about it to her. You know, like, I sometimes I feel the weight of having to make decisions about things sometimes all the time. It feels very stressful, but it's kind of about like my life as a whole. Not about like every morning I wake up and I go, oh fuck, I've got to deal with this little dick again. You're not adding an entirely new dimension

to the existing like analysis over overwhelmment of your like regular day. Yeah. To be like, hey, I've got to worry about. How many deep decisions do you have to make in a regular day? Well, that's what I was just thinking, Not many. There's 24 hours in a day

And I think the Like if you broke it down to a percentage How many minutes of my Conscious waking hours in a day I spend Thinking about what my penis is currently doing Very small amount Very small amount

You're just deciding whether to jack off or not right That's the only decision that is being made by your mistress now Should I clean under the foreskin today Nah nah? Nah, let it ride No But there's, like, you know, you could have other ones like, I don't know, maybe you're at the, I don't know, you're at the swimming pool. You're getting changed.

Am I going full nude? I'm doing it under the towel, like a coward. Well, it's like I'm old enough now to be just full nuding in the change room all the time. Drop in the towel. I'm getting one leg up on the bench. Oh, shit, brother. You lock it? You're locking.

One in three men are locking. This angle over here, that's the whole angle. You're doing gun carton to make sure that the view to your penis covers all of the major angles inside the changing room. That's the old guy method. The cartwheeling around. My favorite mental image of a nude guy at a pool is still being in this change room and a relatively elderly gentleman standing at the sink. There's a mirror in front of them. Towl over the shoulder.

Full lathered face, shaving in the mirror. completely naked. Completely naked. And I was like, I feel like you've had opportunity to get the pants on. You got, yeah, that's right. You've started a new activity. I feel like you could have put the pants on, but instead he's embracing the lifestyle, you know.

I'll tell you what, guys in the old European guys in the change room, they don't care if they got a little dick. Yeah. They certainly don't seem to be getting off on it. I mean, everyone's got a little dick at the pool, right? Yeah. That's so beautiful. Everyone's got a little dick.

Dick at the pool. The great equalizer. The old nude guys at the pool, they don't care about their little dick. The important part is long balls. Heavy. They want to make sure a bunch of people between the ages of 5 and 55 see them. And learn the balls sometimes look like that. If you didn't know by now, sometimes balls look like this.

They're doing a public service, you know. I do think that we live in it, despite my previous chaste comments about my own sexuality. Yeah. I do think we live in a very anti-nudity, anti-body society. I agree. I think it's good, actually. I'm pro-nudity. I'm anti-nudity.

Get it out of here. I'm in the fucking change rooms before you go into the onsen and I'm dapping up the old Japanese dudes. I'm just, I just think you've got to prep your kids before you go. You like it? Oh. I say, hey, boys. Roque deskska? Theo, when my kids were little.

Ah, so, so. Shathing him up. Rokka, yes, yeah. You do October. Like, we do it locktoper. It's so beautiful to go to another country and find out the things that make us all human. Yeah, we're all the same. We're all locked up.

We're all the same. one in three I hate this podcast this is not good if this is your first episode welcome welcome lovely to have you oh shit you're locking

this is your first episode you're looking at the car it's fucking locktober already I didn't even realize 10 days in a locktober and if this is your first episode you have to lock

oh you must Oh, you must. Unsure how far my heightened and stifled arousal will take me deeper into a drive for service and submission. I hadn't come since Sunday, cage on yesterday, and I already found myself feeling more inclined to serve her, fetch for her, etc. I'm telling you, it's a marriage, it's a sick marriage hack for the ladies. It's working out pretty good. It's a marriage hack for when you don't want to have sex with your husband anymore. A, when you don't want to have sex with him anymore.

And you want to shit-fetched. And you want him to fucking make himself useful. Yeah. Get that man locked. Well, how about this? I made her a drink, made her dinner, rubbed her feet, put lotion on her legs, being careful not to peek as I'm not permitted to see her pussy.

And I found myself wanting to do more for her. Great. Mop. Fucking deslime the shower. That's what I'm saying. She should be saying to him, you know, it'd be really fucking humiliating. If you, like, vacuumed out the car,

you took all the mats out and you've, vacuumed it all out really well and you wipe down all the all the dash and everything god that'd make you look like such a disgusting little pig you know how we literally never dust like we never ever dust yeah a couple of fans you're dusting you know what's humiliating watching a man in his little chastity cage dust a house from top to bottom you're dusting and dribbling leaving a little stale trail all the way through the house in dusting no no no no snail trail. He's just going to be stuck on an endless loop of cleaning around, you know,

picking up the trail that he's leaving, but he's leaving one behind him. He's got the bottom shoes on. One must imagine Sisyphus happy. Very happy. Jesus. Anyway, my head is swimming and I just wanted to share. I hope he asked her permission before posting this. I'll say that.

Because the posting is part of it too. This is just, we're now, we're actually, I think, become another player in this little game by reading it on a podcast and having people, I think we're laughing with him, but some people might be laughing at him. And now he's like... He probably likes both. God, if he heard this episode. A secondary source?

He'd explode. Which he's not allowed to do. She's not allowed to do. Under no circumstances, could he hear this episode? Can he, like, with no touch? I could, I, I, because you can't. Like putting aside whether, whether he physically can or not.

May he. Oh, the rules. May he. With no touch. I think he's not allowed to come. He's, like, this is part of it. He's talking about how he's not allowed to, because he hasn't done it since Sunday. Like, it's the, it's like, it's like the thing with the Pope, right?

Like, he's got a, like, occasionally he'll be sleeping. and he's going to bust. You're talking about the Pope's nocturnal emissions? Yeah. Yeah. You think the Pope's busting in his sleep? He's got to be busting in his sleep, right? No, they do secret training in the College of Cardinals.

Just in case you become the Pope, you've got to train yourself out of nocturnal emissions. Yeah. Emissio nocturno, as they call it, at the Papal College. Sussina Par, Uno, come. Pope's French? Yeah. Can I ask you guys a really disgusting question out of genuine interest? Hey, let's not make this podcast weird.

Let's not make it gross. Yeah. Can you have an orgasm of the penis with a flaccid penis? I think technically yes. No, right? I'm going to say technically yes. Okay. Theo, would you like to be the tiebreaker?

Man, I don't want to wait. I'm agnostic on this. Okay. I don't know how all that works. I wouldn't, I'm just... To be honest. Does the come only go in there when it's hard? I don't know.

It's a matter of, into the chamber. I don't even know how my stuff works. Well, I mean, no one knows how that stuff works. No one knows how woman stuff works. No idea. It's terrible. Yeah. We should probably move on to something else.

It's kind of like an ocarina. It's time for the ripping report. A 76-year-old man in Iowa was killed in Iowa Was killed inside his home after being crushed by a rock I fucking hate it when that happens It's unfortunate, isn't it? I wonder how big the rock was Huge

What? What, actually? Huge? Yeah, it was a really big fucking rock. Is this a bit of, where to come from? Is this a riddle? Oh, there was just a puddle and he had a stab wound Is this like a parasite sort of situation?

Did the rock hold some sort of symbolic and ironic meaning? I think he got Donnie Darkoed. He got Donny Darko. He was laughing just before he was smiling about fate. Yeah, because he knew it was coming and he stayed in his house, even though the rock was coming. He had a crazy time in the pocket dimension though. It was nuts in there. Yeah, he was a lot of coming everything.

So good. So good. I've been meaning to, I've been considering re-watching Donnie Darko to see if it's laughable. Oh, I did this the other night after I had a little, a little weed gummy that hit me way too hard. Did you enjoy it? No, no one's fucking watching the director's cut. No, the director's cut's horrific. We just have to check.

We just got to get out of the way. Trust but verify. No, I had an amazing time. What's the director's name? Richard Kelly. Kelly. A 35-year-old skydiver constructor was doing a tandem skydive with someone. for their first dive.

Oh. And the instructor died after his harness came loose and he fell to his death in a clearing. The student who survived was found hanging from a tree a few miles away. One star Google review. Yeah. I'm trying to, when I went, the parachute was on the instructor and I was attached to him. Do you think the instructor just got it wrong? They were like, now hold tight.

Hold on to be tight. I'll put this parachute on you You hold on to me real tight He's just put his arms straight up And just like slip out Whop Whop But then the emergency parachute

Must have opened right Or maybe the parachute Was already open And he fell out I don't know That's not You know you're friends Like

Something may have gone wrong Well yeah I think so Possibly At the least A 60 year old woman In France died back in June

After forgetting to apply the handbrake on her Fiat 500 noticing it start to roll away, leaning in through the open window to apply the handbrake and accidentally hitting the button to raise the window which closed on her throat

subsequently choking her. No, what? No, my God. Oh, you got, yeah, you got a final destination. You got a final destination. In your Fiat 500? In your Fiat 500. Getting your head chopped at your Fiat final?

Did, we're so European. Petit Mort. the petite car mort The petite Fiatmort Do you think that woman Do you think that woman had a vision of a horrible death And managed to avoid it and cheat death

But then death caught up with her By killing her in an extremely final destination style scenario Yeah I do believe that's what happened It's the only explanation right That's so fucked I did I want to offset that downer stuff

With a story of miracle survival I thought it was cool, personally. A tortoise survived with only superficial injuries after accidentally being put out for recycling on the island of Guernsey and subsequently getting, quote, dumped on the ground, scooped up by a digger,

put through several pieces of equipment, including a spiked barrel drum, a compactor and a conveyor before being dropped from 15 feet. Basically a worst-case scenario for a tortoise as well. Yeah Most of the time It's just slowly walking

And eating cabbage Uh I didn't ask for this How did he accidentally get put out for recycling Fell into the bin On one of his adventures I guess so I mean it's not like he's climbing up on the kitchen bench or anything

So how the fuck But yeah This is kind of insane Because this is like a final destination type thing For this tour and it's except it survived Survived Yeah Well now

now the grim specter of death will be haunting the tortoise. Oh, he's getting fucked up. He's got like another tortoise neck on the window of a fear of 500. I'll tell you one man, that first Final Destination movie, what a great job they did

with that iconic scene because I cannot see a logging truck on the highway. It's Final Destination 2. It's final destination 2. Sorry, sorry, without immediately going and then the whole time I'm driving.

driving up behind it and overtaken it, I go, uh-huh, well, absolutely. But me too, but about an identical scene in the movie The Descent. Oh, yeah. We watched Final Destinations, Bloodlines. It's pretty good. It's pretty fun. Good fun. Good fun.

I thought that's going to be a follow-up to that. That's good. That's our official Interfist's recommendation. Good fun. Good fun. Good fun. Not everything has to be nasty. Not everything has to be, you know, hard. It doesn't have to be sexual, doesn't have to be about pussy or, like, dick cages. Let's keep it clean. Doesn't all have to be bonifference.

It doesn't have to be about a snail trail. The guy that did, the guy that directed Funnel Destination also did the tombs episode of the X-Files. Oh. So that's nice. Both tombs episodes or just the first one? Oh, the first one, I think. Good stuff. All right.

And he also did three, the first episode. in which Mulder or Scully was involved in a sexual situation. Okay. You're right. Sometimes, Ben, you say stuff that is so gross that it doesn't belong on the episode and you've got to dump it. It's time to find out what else doesn't quite make the cut of the show in the segment. Dump it.

When the story ain't funny enough. Dump it when there ain't enough funny stuff. If you want the show to be good, then go on and don't. All that stuff So I think I'm still trying to find out what I find stuff It's trash it It's garbage So I think I'm still trying to find out

What this segment is for really But I think kind of I find stuff in the course of the week Where it is crazy that it happened But it is so upsetting that to talk about it In detail or to riff on it On a sentence by sentence basis would be very unpleasant So I'm just going to give you some summary of two things that happened in America this week.

A 38-year-old man was arrested in Ponca City, Oklahoma, after he was seen punching a deer in the face to, quote, put it out of its misery after it was hit by a car. He then started punching at passing cars because no one would give him a ride. He was then arrested, but then during the arrest, punched out the window of a cop car. This guy can't stop punching. It's punch man.

He's having a bad day. All he could do is punch, punch, punch. Is that anime joke? You make an anime joke on this show? Sorry. Twelve punchman. Dump it. Trash it.

Dump it. It's really good. Punching a deer in the face to kill it, you might be overestimating the power of your own strength. Yes. Yeah, I think. Isn't that a joke in me, myself and Irene?

He's like trying to put a cow out of its misery by like... Oh, have you guys ever had to just like kill an animal in unfortunate circumstances? It's more effort than you'd think. A 33-year-old in Utah was arrested after going to a relative's property with a gun he had purchased the day prior and killing a llama that had just given birth and they're driving off with the corpse. He told police. That he had been having a hard time lately because his wife left him. There's no one around the cage me for October.

Things are happening. Things are happening. Things are happening in America. I think that obviously a great curse has befallen them. I think we can all agree. It's an orange one. It's in the freaking White House. I think that there is...

Ancient, yeah, he's like 80 now, I think. There's an evil energy. Dasty little permeating that country right now And I think it is infecting many people At least to this kind of shit Right I think you know like at the start of a

Like a zombie movie or whatever You see Fucking Alice Cooper's outside on the street Eating pigeons or whatever And you're like oh shit Some stuff about to happen Yeah This is the stuff that's happening

A guy Yeah we're about to have the deadening Killed a llama Because his life left him Yeah Lama that's a new mother Yeah Yeah

Like they don't reckon the llama's kid is going to survive because it doesn't have their mother. So they can't get the kid to come back because it usually would just stay with its mom. It's pretty... This is like that movie. The Seventh Seal? You ever see that one? Demi Moore.

Juergen Prochnal. Juergen Prochnal. Oh, what a fucking guy. That's the face I love to see. A poxon. Seal was a seventh sign. Seal. I thought the Seventh Seal was the... Oh, you're right. That's the Ingmar Bergman movie.

Yeah. Yeah, now that's a fucking picture. Seventh sign, Demi Moore, Yergen Proknau. I'm so confused. Who's the Yergen Prokna? Oh, you'll know it when you see him. You'll know Juergen Prokna. Oh, my God.

If he's in a movie, Houtenheim, the Keep does boot the seventh sign in the mouth of madness. Yeah. Yeah, there's a face you can hang a hat on. Sometimes you watch a movie like the 1994 Judge Dread, and it's got Yergen Prognow and Max von Seidau. Yeah. And then you're in front. real trick. A prok now and a von

side. We love the movies. And on both sides between Max von side now and Yergen Prong now you've got you've got seven seals and seven

whatever the other seven signs. What's the other one? Seven seal. Seven seal. Yeah. Max von side now. Yeah.

If seven seal you see Max on side now at B if seven signs you watch Jirken Proknau. it's a guy Oh Christ Is he in it

Or is he in something different What I don't know I'm so Seventh aside What are we talking I haven't seen it Seals

They're an animal That you often find in nature And sometimes In the Netherlands It's time for Netherlands watch Help me buddy I'm from Holland Isn't that beer

This comes from the NL Times. Seal pup found at Groningen rave. Sorry. Seal pop found it Groningen rave set for release after recovery from surgery. And they gave him surgery. They did surgery on a seal? Raive surgery? At the rave.

The seal that was founded an illegal rave in Borgsweer, Gruningen, in June is now healthy and will be released into the sea. He's finally finished his come down. Yeah. Yeah. That's right. Suicidal Tuesday is over. A couple of episodes of adventure time, eating a nice breakfast, had some water. Yeah.

He needed a sausage and egg McMuffin to be held for several hours. That Gatorade on tap. Done some nasty black shits. I don't do many drugs. Is this what happens? If you do enough of them, Bad things will happen.

Things that will surprise you. Okay. Yeah, really throws all your shit out of balance, I think. Okay. It's why there are sometimes food, you know? Yes. I see. Yeah.

Everything in moderation. That's right. Including MDMA. Yeah. Exactly once a year. Exactly once a year is the right. She will be released into the Wharton C on Saturday, according to the Seal Center Peter Buren, which is now based in Laosuke.

The seal was a newborn when police found her between parked cars at the rave as riot officers intervened. Oh, God. I didn't like the second part of that. What are we doing here? What do you mean? What is this country? Riot officers for a rave? Come on, guys.

Calm down. It's not like it was New Year's. Yeah. It's a very lynchy in detail, though, right, for riot officers to show up at a and there's just a newborn seal in the parking lot lying down there like the baby from a razorhead

kind of symbolizing both the strangeness of the situation but also sort of an innocence faded an innocence that will never come back kind of thing we love movies we love movies

real cinema files I love I love Das Boot with Juergen Progn When she was found, she still had her umbilical cord attached, indicating she was only two to four days old. Oh, fuck. Where'd you get this seal?

Where'd you get the seal? Where'd you get it? From whence came the seal. From where did you bring it to the rain? I'll get you a fresh seal. I'll get you a seal. So fresh. According to the seal center,

rave attendees had been walking around with the pup. Now, what are you? To the seal center? This is animal abuse. There is no justifying of whatsoever. But can you imagine being on MD and holding a baby seal? Someone hands you a baby seal at the rave? Oh, my fucking God.

You're listening to the worst music alive, baby seal. Hey, you've got to touch this seal. You've got to touch this seal. It'll change your life. Can you imagine that pure, unconditional love you would feel for that seal in that moment? Yeah. Don't know. Don't really do MDMA.

You should try. And then like 10 minutes later. It makes you feel really nice. Oh, why don't we do it all the time? Why don't we just do it all the time? You've been stuck there listening to Goa trance for two hours. Wishing for it to end. Then someone hands you a baby seal.

Sweaty, glassy-eyed, breastfeeding a seal at the rain. Come on, burning a chance on. Jesus. We don't have to, no. That's where you draw the line. Yeah, at breastfeeding a seal. Mammals need to breastfeed. We're all just mammals, brother.

Even reptiles. The pup named Rave. I don't think that's the same. You shouldn't call it that after like the traumatizing fucking experience just had. Not only had to undergo surgery for her navel hernia, but her condition also suddenly worsened when tissue began protruding through the abdominal wall at the side of the hernia. She was kept in the intensive care unit of the Seal Hospital in Lausug, together with two other pups. The seal hospital?

Clearly enough demand. There's three of them. How many seals have you guys got? Three. Right now, three. Three. Is this a common... Minimum three.

This is an increase in beds. Groaning in sight. It's just seals around? I guess. It must be right. At Laussook? Lusik. Yeah.

Zig on the sea? See, if I was there, it wouldn't have gone down like that. that. I would have got that seal to the seal hospital because when I'm really on it, I love a job. Yeah. Yeah. It doesn't pick your drive. He needs doing, you know. If anything, you actually drive more

carefully. More compassionately, yeah. Yes. Hey, you go. No, no, I don't care that I got a great light. I love that you're merging right now. You look like you're in a hurry. Get out of here. Go on. The road belongs to all of us, brother. You know? These lines. You put these lines here.

This seal. I'm on the road and I'm just repeating a mantra to myself. Seal to the Seal Hospital. 12 pack of lager. Four packs of cigarettes. Seal to the seal hospital. 12 pack of lager, four packs of cigarettes.

My friends want cigarettes. Seal to the lager. 12 pack of cigarettes. Lager for seal. 12 cigarettes seal. Hey, buddy, can you drive for a second? I need to think about that. I need some seal cigarettes.

Got your little flippers at 10 and 2. Can you find something? on the radio can you what kind of music do you like oh kiss from a rose

that you know this is a good one oh come on grow on grow the fuck up hey I think this is definitely an episode of the podcast

point of vista yeah thank you so much for joining us if you liked what you heard this episode you're nasty

you're filthy gross yeah I'm sickness No. You are kind of twisted. All your friends are like, Martis, are they?

Except the one in three of your friends that are also locked. Yeah. You've got to keep your locked friends and your stuffed friends separated. What do you do? Make sure they're both. Do you're not. Are you locked, if not one of them is? He's stuffed.

He's locked. I'm both. If you see the telltale side of like the bar of a case, just sort of at the front of someone's slacks. Tap them up. Start looking around at your friends, sort of just the general area. Try to see if you can see like the outline

of a little, perhaps a little metal cage. Oh, what up? Are they metal? Having a good October. Are you enjoying October currently? Come today? Come today, bro? You know what?

You didn't. Dap me up. If you want more of this type of stuff, that first story is kind of more a bonus episode type material. That's kind of what we're doing on a weekday after. It's a bit nastier over there. A little more dribbly over there.

Yeah. You can check that out by signing up for Patreon and if this was your first and last episode because you didn't enjoy any of this, thank you so much for sticking it out. All we asked was that you give us a fair go. That's so fair. Nice to see you. Enjoy the rest of your life. Yeah. Check out, you know, you got Radio Lab, this American life. Ologies with Ali Wall.

How Stuff Works. Call her daddy podcast. Yeah, that might be more up your alley. I think the Commonwealth Bank has a podcast. You probably would love to listen to that. It's called Filthy Commies, I think. We will talk to you maybe on that bonus episode, maybe next week and maybe never again. Enjoy the rest of your day.

Goodbye forever. Goodbye forever. Thank you.