Boonta Vista - EPISODE 424: JJ Hollingsworth's Los Tacos Locos

Episode Date: November 29, 2025

Lucy, Theo, and Ben bring you: The final tale for this year's Spookvember, accidentally acquiring the perfect hangout spot, and the incredible claims of Kate Beckinsale. *** Outro: Into the Deep Time (One Sun) - Candy Claws *** This is the 99% Invisible episode about public stairs: https://99percentinvisible.org/episode/episode-75-secret-staircases/  *** Support our show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista *** Email the show at [e-mail]! Call in and leave us a question or a message on 1800-317-515 to be answered on the show! *** Twitter: twitter.com/boontavista Website: boontavista.com Twitch: twitch.tv/boontavista

Hello, It's going to be a lot of the way the same work out is a question of Google X. It's like the same suffix as that. Oh, a little bit of a little fact. Hello and welcome to Wunderer Wista. Episode 424, my name is fourth-right groula, winner of the pomegranate nipple for excellence in film criticism

for my review of Terror to Fire 3, in which I call it the funniest movie I've seen since Fred Dragon. What's he doing? What's he doing? We could hardly discuss comedy movies that lift the soul and carry us on Cloud 9 until we leave the few. theater without discussing this next film which has its auspicious 23rd anniversary this year. Many of you may be shouting at your televisions because you already know the name of the film, of which I talk, National Lampoons Van Wilder Party Liaison.

I'm here with visionary director, Ward Becker, whose honor also contains the meditative of tales of aging and loss wild hogs and all dogs, but today we must limit the scope. And of course, every discussion of Van Wilder must begin with the backbone

of the film hanging like the sword of the Damocles of the whole proceedings. And I speak of course of the dog calm first scene in Van Wilde's bulldog's maximum nuts

Like a great Chekhov's come, growing in pressure. Oh, boy. Alongside the character's stakes until at last it is relieved in an act of absolute kindness by our hero, relieving the dog of its burden on a pile of Echlias, which are then fed to the monstrous bankchilds of the fraternities in a great act of brutality that provides the Funhouse mirror reflection of the great transgressors like Pazolini. But here, the parody version gives us something to cheer at the screen along with. Yes!

Yes! It is satisfactory that these capitalists stoats eat the dog jism. Ben, in character as director, Ward Becker. Thank you. What did this grand idea for? Now, I've just checked, he is not also European, so I'm off the hook for accent work. Thank Christ. I think you guys are from the same country, and that is?

You know what? I don't even need to hear which country it is. You just tell me what part of Europe. That's not where I'm there. What a lot of people don't actually notice about that scene that I, Walt Becker, the American director, directed, is that when the stuck-up rich Boys are eating the Ecclars full of dog come. I'm sorry, I haven't seen this movie. You haven't seen Van Wilder Party Liaison?

No, I haven't. That's the most loosey fucking movie on earth. That sounds insulting. You love dumb dude bro college comedy movies so much and you've never seen Van Wilder. So there's Eclares with dog cum in them, that's what I'm hearing. Chekhov's come. Yeah, well, Chekhov's nuts because you see the dog's enormous testicles earlier in the movie and they sort of, they make it clear that they're like, wow, we got to do something about...

The dog's genitalia is a weapon that they use to banish the dragon. One of the stuck-up college boys says, I think I've had these before. That's a little Easter egg I put in because it signals that he's gay, which is bad. Yeah. That's because the movie is from... He knows of the day of the dog come. It's two... Well, oh, good point, actually.

I was thinking cum in general, but I guess they wouldn't taste the same. You think that come in general is just gay. Also, you think it would taste the same as dog cum. No, I'm not speculating about what human cum tastes like. I was watching this. That I know for sure. And I'm like, because they are going to town on these eclays, right?

And they're like dripping this stuff all over their faces and stuff. They go, oh, this is so, you know, this is so. so great and tasty. It's a very erotic scene, I agree. Yeah, and, and, you know, how would I have been? Like 18-year-old Theo's like, they wouldn't taste like a clairs. Yeah. Yeah.

It would have a different flavor profile. What does dog come taste like? Yeah. You know, who knows? No one knows. No one knows. Presumably no one knows. Yeah.

Okay. And, of course, we as the audience knows the fiction of the screen, but at the same time, we must be fooled like children who are told they can be anything when they grow up. Fooled by the magic of movies. I speak, of course, of these visual effects of the Dick Drule

laddered across these mandatious eclays across the faces of these demons. I'm here with the visual effects coordinator. Lucy. Lucy, what was your divine inspiration to make this incredible piece of art of reality us all. Hey, yeah.

You're not going to believe this. I was thinking a lot about dog come at the time the film was being created. And I thought, you know what really looks like dog come? You were pondering the dog come? I was pondering the dog come. And I thought, you know, it's not going to look like dog come unless it's dog come. And that's kind of the magic of filmmaking, you know?

Yes. The magic is that things look like what they look like. I think when you when you like do it realistically, I feel like audience is going to really appreciate that. And you can tell you talk. It makes things really dietetic. Steaming in the winter air. And boy, was it steaming. Lucy, can I give you the titles and artists of two tracks from the soundtrack? Oh, please. No, I'm going to give you three, actually. Roll on by the living end. Oh. Which I think might actually play over the ending credits. Really? I can't, it's a bit of long time since I've seen this movie, but it is.

used in a very pivotal triumphant moment, this seminal piece of Australian radio punk. Oh, how do I'm talking about dog semil. You're talking about dog come, as we've been talking about for the last six minutes, yeah. Bleed American by Jimmy Eat Wall. Yeah, let's go.

Let's go. Makes no difference, some 41. Oh, my God. It might be the greatest movie ever created. I've got to see. I can't believe you haven't seen this. This would have been so, you would have been the perfect age to have seen this too.

Yeah, no, no, just miss this one. That sounds right up my alley. Yeah, 12. Because I'm stupid. Also, interestingly, I didn't know that it was in full, in America, National Lampoons Van Wilder. Is that really? So in America, it was National Lampoons Van Wilder. And in some of the international releases, it was Van Wilder Party Liaison.

We in Australia got Van Wilder Party Liaison. We got Party liaison. Laisons, which is an odd word to add to a subtitle for like a college. For a college kind of fuckfest. I wouldn't even describe what he does as being liaison. What is his job? He helps, he's a party consultant. Yeah, he's a student that like refuses to complete any of his subjects

so that he can continue living at college forever. Right. Cool. And then along the way, he has sex with women. Yes. Huh? It's not positioned as a loser in the film. In the film, he's kind of the king of college,

despite the fact that he's like an older guy hanging around. He does decline sex from a woman he realizes is too young at one point in the movie, so I'm not writing off entirely as a person, but he is kind of... Had to do that, the Hayes Code and everything. They took that out for the European. Yeah, because of Sean Hayes. The Sean Hayes What might

It's very censorious. Hey, if we got any details wrong about Van Wilder in our recollections of this, you could submit a correction if you really felt like it, and you could do that via the Bunta Vista hotline. That's the Bontevista hotline [phone] That's the Bontevista hotline You can send us an email

Mailbag at both-aVista.com Maybe DM us on Twitter You could even message Facebook But we don't really check the Facebook 800317515 So we are a time of And a time of release probably It's the 29th of November

Which means November is not yet over Which means there was still time to squeeze in One more tale of spook Vemba Yeah, we should wake up the guy from Green Day What the fuck are you talking about? What do you mean? Did you forget to do it two months ago? Just remembered.

Just remembered. Is that song about being sad because 9-11 happened? I think so. Something like that, right? Like, oh, man, I just can't deal with the fact that... Is it? I don't know, man. I had that album memorized, but I don't remember.

Well, he doesn't... The lyrics ended up pretty vague. Sorry. I've distracted you. Really deflected. Come and... No, never mind. We never forget what we have lost.

Wake me up. I forget that a lot what I've lost because I've got ADHD. Yes. Yeah. As you've well documented. There should be a way for you to remember stuff. We should invent that.

What if everything you needed we just kept on you in a pocket? Yeah. But I need a lot of pockets, I think. It's such a like a pants. for something of it. Well, I was thinking we start with like a fishing vest. You know the ones that have like hundreds of different lures for every situation?

Yeah. It's all your bits and bobs. Yeah, it's got USBC 3.1 to HDMI converter. Yeah. It's got a display port to H.D.M.I converter. Oh, I don't want to go on a rant here. Yeah. I just encountered display port for the first time in my life a week ago.

What are we doing? It's fantastic, isn't it? What the hell is this? It's so much, it's, okay, so the HDMI port, to begin with, sucks. It doesn't have any physical, like, constrainment to keep it in. So that's why it kind of flops around in the port and, like, falls out all the time. But HTML is just a money printer for the corporations that made up this standard and then all used it together. And display port is free.

It's, uh, does all the same stuff as HTMLI. But it's not proprietary. But it's not proprietary. What? Okay. And it's locking. It's got a locking mechanism. And it's got a little lock in it.

So when you press it, you've got to press on the button to pull it out again. Okay. So it doesn't just fall out on its own. It's not just flopping around in there. It's not just flopping around in there. It's not new, but I bought a little, an old, like a used office computer thingy to put my Plex server on. And then I looked at the back and there were three display ports. I didn't know what they were.

I had to Google. Yeah, you nearly threw it. the whole thing out. Straight to the bed. I bought a European computer. It's a sort of finish connection on it. I felt very embarrassed having to Google a description of a shape. H-D-My port, but with one, 90, with three hard corners.

It's no good. Yeah. Did you get there? Yeah, I bought an adapter. And the adapter was expensive. Come on. What's with these adapters that they got to, you've got to buy these days? want to plug your headphones into your phone?

They invent a new connector. They walk into the CEO of Belkin's office. They say, how much we charge for us? It costs us 70 cents to make. And the CEO of Belkin says that'll be $35. Yeah, that's going to be 70, brother. That's insane. How much they're charging to buy 100.

Man, I just don't fucking understand anything anymore. What a good business Belkin's got. All right, they used to, I'm sure they used to make modems and stuff that they needed to work on. Now they just make cables. Now they just make, well, not even, I don't even know about the cables. I mean, they'll probably they'll sell you a network cable for 30 bucks.

Yeah, happily. Happily. Happily. That one's just sort of for old time's sake, I think. But they're mainly just like turning one connector into another connector and they make that a $4 trillion business, I think. I think they're the most wealthy company in the world at the moment. I think that is probably statistically true, yeah.

I did get a small win though when I went into the office works. I had to buy the adapter front of the display. already open box with a markdown sticker on it saying $20 instead of 30 open box and then I went to the counter the lady was like

do you know that the box has been opened I know that I'm getting the deal of a lifetime I'm going to let you in a little secret too when I go home I'm also going to open that box I would have opened you've saved it yeah it's not just going up on the shelf whoever you were a curious stranger

who had to know what was inside this box because you didn't believe what was written on it. You saved me $10 and the effort of opening the box. They can turn display port into H-D-M-I now? I've got to see this. That can't be right. Oh, okay. But I'm not paying 30 bucks for it.

I'll tell you that. You know what would be a really good thing that you could do as like a gift to your fellow man is go into office works and just open every box. It's like don't get caught. Save people some time. But save people some money. It's like...

Save and labor. Yeah. It's like cash injection to the... to people who need it the most. Yeah, you got some free time. Go and open every box in office works. You know what? Don't even like, don't make your profile too big so they stop you.

Open a couple of boxes. A couple of boxes. Head on over to J.B. Hi-Fi. Yeah. Open a couple of their boxes. You've got to go around the corner from the security guides in the front. You got to be careful. Oh, Harvey Norman, right for the picking.

Oh, I mean, they've only got two employees. Yeah. And the store is seven acres. And they don't want to talk to you. The store is so big. The source is so big, there's so few people there. They got all these couches. No one's buying them.

No one's buying a Harvey Norman couch. And yet they have display living rooms as far as the eye can see. And like prime real estate in like the most expensive shopping centers in Australia. Software used to come in a box. You used to come in a box. And the box was big too. The box was so big. And the manual wasn't even printed.

an A4. No. Why did they put them in those boxes? Sometimes it came with a map. Man, and then they made the boxer smaller and you can't fit the map in there anymore. Then they put them in DVD cases?

They put it in a DVD case like it's a movie. They feed us poison. Nothing to feel. While they suppress our cures. It's just sad and sickens me to think that like kids these days won't like their parents are looking at couches in the Harvey Norman and then they go

I'm going to go take a 25 minute walk I'm going to go walk to the store where the box software is. And I'm going to hold and look at the box for total annihilation for a while. Oh, man. And then imagine what it would be like to play it. At the art, on the back of the total annihilation box? Yeah. Oh, I've still never played it.

Total annihilation only exists in my imagination from looking at the box. Yeah. And they played on the metal maps where you could just put a metal mine down anywhere. Otherwise you'd go and find it was too hard for me as a kid. Yeah. I've been thinking this week there's a treat to myself I'm going to download

I'm going to check that I got the name of this game right actually because I think there's a subtitle with it it's called like oh god this sounds embarrassing to say out loud Arcanum of Steamworks and Magic Obscura Yeah Okay Because I looked at that box in like the bargain bin at EB games

When did that fucking come out Because I would have started doing it Basically around there 2001 so for the last 20 odd years years, I've thought about what it might be like to one day play that game. And I was thinking maybe once my work's done this weekend, go to that bad boy and find out. Get a game, brother. It can't be that bad.

It was Tim Kane, the guy, like he came off of fallout. He said, I don't want to do fallout too. One fallout was enough for me. Got to go and do my own thing. I think this property has certainly done its dash. We'll never revisit this universe. Jumping off while it's at its call. cultural high point

of Fallout 1 700,000 copies sold or something like that and this is it the world hadn't even heard of Walton Goggins by this point that's true hard to imagine

pre-Walt and Gorgans world pre-Walt and you could still get from pre-Waltz someone I know or maybe someone I used to work with a pedestrian or something is doing one of those like media trips where they like fly you out for the launch

of something and you like just promote or whatever for I think it must be the next season of the Fallout TV show or something yeah because they had like they took a photo of Walton Coggins or something I'm not gonna watch it I don't care sorry it's not good it's not very good

I didn't hear it was good even though it's got Walter I heard I heard a lot of people say hey it's actually really good and I watch a couple of episodes it doesn't have the juice so I felt like it might have the juice it doesn't have juice it's got Timmy elephant in it right does it yeah he's in it Isn't he?

Yeah. He's a good-looking guy. Is he? He's a good-looking guy? I look to me awfully. Are you just thinking of justified? You might be thinking of justified. You might be thinking of justified. I think I was thinking of...

They've got cowboys in that too, but it's sort of the world they live in has some differences that come into play. Oh, no, he's not at all. All right. Yeah, I'm definitely just confused with justified. We're justified, yeah. This is good radio. Oh, this is great. 20 minutes in.

It's good radio. This is from listening, Nick. Hi. There is only one event in my life that I can't reasonably explain within my understanding of the laws of physics and the universe. Yeah, for me, it was getting married. Because you didn't think you were worthy of love? Yeah. You wouldn't find it?

Yeah. Oh, well, you did. Look at me now. Look at you go. Check me out. I'm lovable. Someone chose to share a life with me. Can you believe it?

If you ever see him strut around like a real cock of the walk, that's why. You ever wonder why peacocks are allowed to walk around zoos? They can just hop the fence and go. But they don't. But they don't. They stay in there. They love living in the zoo. Yeah.

They love it. No one's talking about this. That is true. Why are they the ones where they like? They just let them walk around. It's fucked. It's fucked. Yeah.

And because the other animals that are. roaming, you know, and you'll just see lizards and pigeons and stuff. You're like, you're not part of the zoo. You just happen to live here. The peacocks part of it. The peacocks are clearly part of it. They just didn't have to pay for it. Yeah, peacock. He didn't come from the wild. Yeah. You're just fucking hanging out in there.

I went, in some of the like rando parts of America I was in, there would be places where people just had peacocks on their property or whatever where I'd be like driving down some dirt road and there'd just be like seven wandering peacocks. That's cool. Yeah. I mean, I guess I'd have a little. Yeah, peacocks are dope.

Peacotts are sick as hell, dude. Pulling those feathers and around, you know? You know what's not? Dragging them on the ground? Not that great though. Your peahens? Yes, Lucy. Yes.

It's like a peahen. Midd. Getting around looking like that. Put on a little makeup, sweetie. Four out of ten, bird. Smile. It was 2007 and I was 16. It was night in early winter, driving up I-89.

north on the Vermont side of the Connecticut River that divides Vermont and New Hampshire. I was in my first car, a gold 2000 Chrysler Town and Country minivan, which had been recalled on account of its seat warmers melting people's pocket contents, but which I didn't send back since they felt really nice. I was headed to a friend's giving dinner hosted by my mom's friends. In my passenger seat was my ex-girlfriend, the only woman my age in my hometown, I wasn't related to, who worked for and was friends with my mother and as such was still invited to family functions.

We went to third base in a graveyard. Okay. That's awesome. Haven't we all? What's third? What's that? What's third? That's a hand job?

Sucked and, yeah, hand job. First base, going on a date. Holding hands? Yeah, second base, kissing. That's third. Emotionally, that's third. I am putting too much detail into the run-up to what I saw. saw because I can't really wrap my head around it still.

As we came up a hill and rounded a corner by an exit ramp, my ex pointed to the upper left of my windshield and said, what is that? I couldn't see what she was pointing at at first, but did see some pulsing red lights. I pulled over since she seemed genuinely scared. As my eyes adjusted to the dark, I saw a plane, an old plane with a rotor on each wing perfectly still and with red lights pulsing at each wing tip. The rotors weren't moving. If I were to guess, it was maybe at the height of a 20 or 30-story building,

quite loaded the ground, and it wasn't making any sound. To make sure that it wasn't just the car insulating us, we got out and looked at it together. There it was, soundless, a plane just hanging in the air with lights gently going on and off. It looked green-brown in color when the lights were on and had no discernible riding on the outside. I didn't see any tethering wire or balloon or other. explanation for what it was doing there. We watched it on the side of the road while cars was past us for about 15 minutes and unable to come up with an explanation for what we were seeing, decided to go to dinner and keep what we saw to ourselves so it was not to sound

insane. I wondered if it was some kind of balloon that looked like a plane while she being religious wondered if it was a ghost or an angel. On the drive back a couple of hours later, it was gone. I'm still unsure of what that was, why it was there or what could explain it. There are multiple small airfields in that area, as well as an Air National Guard Base, not far from it. It's near Dartmouth College, a famously cursed place, but nowhere near any nuclear facilities or particle accelerators I'm aware of. No particle. Okay. Well, that obviously was going to be my first question. Yes. I wish I had driven closer to it to find if it was tethered to the ground. There is so much we don't understand. Love the pod.

I think it was a ghost plane. Yeah. Oh, interesting. Somebody's ghost plane. I didn't think Ghost Plain. My first thought was, um, oh, what's the name of that

thing where they tried to use teleportation on naval ships? Pardon? The Philadelphia experiment? They were trying to Philadelphia experiment that plane. Have I got that wrong? Um, sure, that sounds right. Well, there's definitely a movie about it. I don't know if it was in real life.

Yeah. No, it, ha. The Philadelphia experiment was an alleged event claimed to have been witnessed by an ex-merchant mariner named Carl Allen at the United States Navy's Philadelphia, naval shipyard, blah, blah, blah, blah. It was a naval experiment, so he claims, to make a destroyer, the USS Eldridge, disappeared. I think they would, it's clearly a World War II era aircraft.

They were Philadelphia experimenting. 100%. For a second, it just popped into the fucking Vermont. Yeah. Pilots in there. He's looking at all these modern cars being like, what the hell? What the hell? Everyone's wearing their seatbelt.

A woman's driving that one. Just as well, I'm not going to docks this person any further, but I would like to point out that as far as I can verify to be true, this man that has sent this to us as a medical doctor. Okay. Then we've got to believe it. You know, that adds a little bit of, like... Yeah, medical doctors listen to our show.

Yeah, that's right. Medical doctors. Not the other card, that's not real. Not doctors of gender. Yeah. Like, if you've gotten to the end of this and said it was from a chiropractor, we'd go like, oh, well, okay. That's just because a vertebrae has entered your mind.

Yeah. Disrupted your prefrontal cortex or whatever. Yeah. Yeah. Can I give you guys a quick joke that I thought of for the last episode that we did that I didn't say at the time? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So there's a bit in it where we're talking about the weed studies and stuff. And there was a woman there that was introduced in the story as a University of Washington cannabis researcher.

Yeah, that's what we call freshman at UOW, am I right? Over there on the West Coast, they're smoking that weed. Because they're smoking weed in Washington. Anyway, that's the joke that everyone. I'd thought of it at the time I would have said it in that episode. That's pretty good. Yeah. It would have been pretty funny.

But now you're bringing it to the main episode. Oh, I bet you want to find out what the context of that was. Oh, I bet you want to know how funny that would have been. Oh, that's juicy. Yeah, you witnessed a Philadelphia experiment. You were on the receiving end. Yes. Man, World War II occult is, it's so appealing, isn't it?

Oh, very appealing. Very bad. The horror is terrible. But imagine a ghost dog fight? Now we're talking. A Wolfenstein? Food fighters over Milano, you know? Yeah.

Stuff like that. Oh, we're using occult magics to make sure our blimp successfully bomb London. Whatever. Okay, that is, you got to hand it to Hitler. You don't. Don't clip that. You don't have to. I could have been about to finish that with any sound.

That could have been anything. Yeah. It is like all the wackadoo stuff. They were trying so fucking cool. It's kind of cool. Millions of dollars, like the Office of Naval Intelligence or whatever, being like, we need some good old-fashioned Oklahoman psychers. I don't think we're doing that anymore.

We're just doing drone stuff. It's boring. That sucks. I hope maybe we're still doing some, like, does we give you psychic powers? Some occult stuff as well, yeah. Like, it's not expensive. All you need is, like, a room. You need one of those decks of cards that just have the symbols on.

them and then just like an ounce of that loud and you just like let them sort of you know they smoke a fat j and then you hold up the cards facing you and they go circle and if it's any better than average yeah they're a psycher and you also want to invest in like one of those old-timey uh diving helmets just in case they are actually they're they're a real psychic because the diving helmet will kind of act as a parody cage for your head so they can't just And it looks dope as well. It looks fucking cool. It puts them in the mood because they're smoking weed and you're like,

just describe the card to me. Yeah, that's kind of good. The helmet is for my protection. That's actually really powerful imagery and I think it worked very well in the opening scene of the movie Pineapple Express. I don't remember anything about Pineapple Express. Yeah, you're too freaking stone watching it. There's a guy being interrogated by the military while he's smoking weed and a guy

in a diving suit walks in. No fucking, come on. Is it? Yeah. Come on. Is it? Powerful images echoed throughout history. Absolutely.

Parallel. Invention. I actually think. It's too strong to be limited to one spot. They could have got this from you right now coming up with that imagery and going backwards. The resonating outwards like waves. They've seen your car. They're taking it back.

They've Philadelphia experimented a Nissan Leaf. Yes. Yes. Sertaining this point. Philadelphia experimented a nissen leaf. They Philadelphia experimented a niss and leaf? My niss and leaf? Some guy in the 1940s hanging out with his best gal and be like, what is that gay little car?

It's making no noise at all. Yes! You know how some electric cars, like, make a... They make them make sound? Yeah. They should all do that because I keep getting the shit scared out of me. me. Oh, me too.

She's terrifying. That's really scary. And I want it to make a sound, like, if I'm driving on suburban streets, you know, like get into my house from the back streets or whatever, and there's just people walking on the road, which is great, which is fine, right? People should be walking on the road. Fuck cars. Yeah.

But, like, I'm trying to, I don't want to honk my horn. No. To say, hey, I'm right here. Please don't get the absolute shit scared out of you when you turn around and there's a car. Yeah. I saw all Japan's like, because you've got to share the road as a pedestrian in Japan, and they all got these little silent cars. Cars shouldn't be able to sneak up on you.

It's fucking insane. No, absolutely. Cars should be making noise at all times. It turns out wheels rolling nowhere near as loud at low speed as just combustion. Pretty crazy. Yeah. So this is another digression, but I was thinking the other day I came up with an invention that I think will probably be a million dollar idea for us.

I've argued in the past that cars need two sets of horns, one that's like the normal one and then one that's like a friendly tooth. A friendly horn, yeah, good horn, bad horn, left and right on the thing. Not one for you, one for the passenger. Yes. And we'll use Robert Mitchum, reconstructed at AI, to be like, have I ever told you the story of good horn, bad horn? Don't worry about it.

No, it's fine. Yeah, sorry. Yeah, there's people hooting and hollering. Okay. Don't worry about it. But I was thinking, the problem isn't the story. sound of the horn. It's that the horn does its job, which is to make your presence and the fact that you exist and something is happening known to everyone, right? But it's inscrutable in its

meaning. Yes. It's for emergencies, only for emergencies. And it's to say, please be aware of me, everyone. But people don't just use it for emergencies. So it creates a problem where it sounds angry, but you can't help. But if you hear a horn, regardless of what you're doing, be like, me? Like if you're a pedestrian nearby? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Who's fucked up? Yeah.

Who's fucked up? What I'm suggesting is we need directional, like focused, not infrasound. Yeah. Regular sound, but focused a sound. With a dome. Yeah, we need to get the Havana radar guns or whatever and use them for sound.

Yes. Right? And they say. like good one dip shit at like a BYD shark that's run over six curbs or they just say hello yeah yeah and they can say goodbye if you're the kind of person who like honks your horn when you're leaving fuck you if you are fuck you I'm fucking sick of you I that takes me out of my Friends would do that. Don't honk at my house.

I'm just sitting there enjoying maybe my morning coffee like anyone would. Is honking from the street? I have to think about what the emergency is. Have I done something wrong inside my house? Have I done something wrong in here? Am I drinking my coffee in a way that is annoying to you? And look, I was thinking about an algorithm or something. Yeah, I was thinking of the bigger things.

Yeah, I was doing some maths in my head. Now I've got to remember where I was up to. I get honked out so often. By people that know you. By people that know me. Because of, like, I live at a relatively conspicuous place and I'm always out walking the dog or walking or whatever. And because I just know, people recognize me from the bar and stuff. Always, the next time they see me, be like, I homed did you the other day.

You didn't even look up. Because I live on a busy road. Yeah. Always hearing honking. At least Graham just maniacally screams out the car window. Yeah. Yeah, like swear words, things of that nature. And then you have to be like, that crazy man is yelling at me.

Actually, he's my friend. Don't worry about it. You know how parabolic microphones work? How the dome. No. Okay, well, I don't actually know how they work. I know that they work. Oh, okay, well, I think we're talking about the same thing.

Just in reverse, right? Yeah, does it work in reverse? Yeah, yeah, because there's the... The thing at Park's Telescope. So, like, the, like a park, like a science park or something like that. Yes. There was one in Europe on our honeymoon, though, we found, like, where I'm like, hey, Caitlin, just stand exactly on this spot.

And I walked like a hundred meters back to this parabolic speaker thing that you just talk into. And it funnels. And it funnels. Yeah. They've got a set of them at the Park's radio telescope where you're like 100 meters apart, but you're like whispering to each. each other.

Yeah. Hey girl. Are you living? Hey girl. Yeah. And now we've got phones, so no one cares. Yeah. Due to phones.

No one cares about the parabolic speaking apparatus and science educational venues anymore because of telephones. Some old scientist named Cornelius just throwing all these papers on the ground. Well, I won't make any more if you're not enjoying them anymore. So in summary, Nick. You were visited by the receiving end of a Philadelphia experiment. Yeah. I think the connection does work both ways,

so there is a chance that you may at any point in your life pop back to the 1940s. Be prepared for that. You're going to want to have to do some pretty repugnant things to blend in, but if you don't blend in, they will kill you. They'll know. You're going to have to, you know. They're on the alert for time travelers at that point. Start saying boy howdy.

Yeah. Ah, geez. Ah, geez, mister. A lot of that sort of stuff. Yeah. Gee, Willikers. And hey, you might slip up, as we all do from time to time, because po-buddy's nerficked.

We talk about not being nerfficked, it po-bodied-nur-fict. Poe-tick-tick-tick-tick-tick-tick-tick. Poe-bodied-no. No, no, poebodies-nur-thet. No, oh, oh, whoopsie. Daisy Yeah

Pobody's Nerf No Oh Oh Oh Oh This comes to us from

Realtor.com Which I am truly Sorry A San Francisco couple Accidentally by $25,000 Dirt Alley

at auction. Haven't we all? I mean, for 25,000 bucks. Well, yeah. Honestly, I think. In San Francisco? Yeah, surely that's a steel, steel. Yeah, sure.

Wait, what is this? What is it? What is it? You'll find out from the story. A married couple from San Francisco are now the accidental owners of an unpaved alleyway after putting in a beard for what they thought was a bargain property auction only to discover that they had bought a rundown,

Street next to the home they believed they had purchased. I mean, it sounds like a bargain, though. Like, you thought you were buying the home for 25 grand? You thought you were buying a $25? Are you stupid? J.J. Hollingsworth and Alamayahu Mergia were overjoyed when they received a letter from the local tax collector's office informing them that a property at 1926 Kirkham Street would be auctioned off for as little as $1 after the owner stopped paying their taxes.

The couple, who lived in the home next door, seized the opportunity to put in a bid on what they thought was a two-unit rental property, which had most recently sold for just over $1 million in December 2024. And you thought you were getting it for... You bid $25,000? $1 million? $25,000? Did you not...

Didn't seem at odds with each other? They scrambled to put in what they believed to be a fair... bid on the home, having initially ignored the letter informing them about the auction. However, on the final deadline day for registering interest, they made the decision to throw their hat in the ring for the sealed auction, submitting a cashier's check for $25,000, as well as an additional $8,000 check for the transfer tax. Quote, we would always regret it if we didn't. Wouldn't you, Hollingsworth told the San Francisco standard of their decision to bid?

Wouldn't you wonder what could have happened? Their initial elation at discovering that they had won the auction quickly turned to shock and horror when their transfer tax check was returned, prompting them to read the fine print just a little more closely. As it turns out, the couple had not purchased the house that sits at 1924-1926 Kirkham Street. Instead, they had bought an 83-foot-long, seven-foot-wide, unpaved track that runs between that property and their own home. But it's next to their property. So now your property, you can can't you... Your property's bigger. You can merge them or whatever.

You can open a food truck or something. You can... Los Tacos Locos Locos. Los Tacos Locos from this... JJ Hollingsworth's Lost Tacos Locos. Upon reading the tax collectors later more closely, Hollingsworth and her husband realized they had missed several key pieces of information. I would say one enormous piece of information.

I feel so stupid when I like... like have to go to buy stuff and I like check things and I look things up. They're always, they're trying to get you though. The world is trying to get you. They show you and they're trying to stop you from getting a bargain. $25,000. They just want it for themselves, you know? Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. Namely, a line in the memo that stated the auction was for the sale of plots that have been quote, rendered unusable by their size, location or other conditions. Yeah. Yep. I'll probably look at that. Horror soon mixed with humiliation, the composer. Oh.

The composer, oh. Horror and humiliation. Sometimes I find them to be quite intertwined. Revealed to CBS News, admitting that by the time they realized their mistake, they had already celebrated the purchase of their new home with friends and family. And even stopped. How can we not in it right now? Let's celebrate from the outside.

Yeah. Oh, there's just some paperwork. It's sort of like blah, blah, blah, you know. They had even stopped by the property at 1924-1926 Kirkham Street to inform the tenants that they had new landlords. Yeah. Oh, I'm glad this happened to you. You should have to go back to them, I think, probably,

because they need an update to know that they're going to stay with the same landlord, I presume. Yeah, hey, you're not there. We're stupid as fuck. You can't have any tenants, by the way, because you have purchased a lot that is literally called on Google Maps dirt Alley. Yep. Yeah.

Because all the dirt there and it's alley shaped. And it's an alley shaped. It's like not big enough for a car to go all the way down either. Again, put a couple of food trucks on it. It's going to be, we love dirt alley in San Francisco. The empanada truck that's in there run by these crazy white opposer lady. The empanadas at dirt alley. empanadas to Hollingsworth

fucking incredible you're going to want to to park like a block away though you also can't fit down the side of the food truck you've got to just sort of reach your arm around the corner

with your money and then reach around to pick up the empanata but you won't be able to get your torso in there yeah they're $25 as well $25 for money it's so funny

to just knock on the door of a place and be like hello hey God We own this property now and you. Don't worry, we're cool. We're cool. What's that?

You smoking a little reefer? Nice, I'm a cool landlord. Don't worry about it. Am your landlord though, for real. I got this whole place for 25 grand. That's right. And we live next door. Probably just put a cleaning fee on at the end.

Get the smell out, you know. But go for it. I'm cool. I'm a cool. Let me have a hear of that. How do you feel about tacos or empanadas? Which one do you think? We'd sell more around here.

Quote, it was devastating, Hollingsworth admitted. I was absolutely devastated. We had already celebrated and told our friends, I went over and said, hey, I'm your landlord now. We're not going to kick you out or raise your rent. It's good at least. I'm a good landlord. Could we've got this place for a bargain, actually.

They say it's like $775,000. No, $975,000. Yeah. So they probably afford to take it easy, I guess. Yeah. God, they're really living on a grid over there, aren't they? They love grids. Big straight lines. Yeah.

It's just bad traffic management. Sorry. I'm sorry. Traffic management likes a curve. Traffic management likes a funnel. So you want little streets that filter into kind of your vein sort of streets, which thing is going to arterials, right? Yeah, okay. Because otherwise you've, otherwise you've just got.

a four-way stop every like 15 meters. I guess you want something sort of like a fern leaf. Oh, a fern leaf is beautiful. Nature already figured this stuff out and we're just catching up. Nature provides. The Fibonacci sequence. Suntilaterallus. It's all connected.

To add insult to injury, the couple paid far more for their alley than any other bidder had offered in the auction, which featured multiple parcels across the city with similar restrictions. I think everyone else sort of thought they were kind of bidding on an alley that couldn't be used for anything at all. A little hard travel patch of dirt. Couldn't even put a food truck in there. A lot of these people are offering like 20 bucks and made like, who cares?

Probably not going to get it. According to the standard, 47 plots were offered in the sealed auction and about half of them were sold, four for just $1 each. Yeah, cool. I mean, that's dope. You know, one buck to own an alleyway? Oh my God I wouldn't even use it

I wouldn't even use it I'd just go and walk I'd sit on it I'd go walk my alleyway Post up on it Post up on it Fold out chair Post up

Oh my god You post up with a Like a carton and the deed So when the cops are like No drinking in public Be like Hey Hey or

My alleyway pal Tell your story walking I got a Fourth Amendment Rights Got a fucking warrant Get off my fucking alleyway Get out of dirt Alley.

And don't come back to Dirt Alley without a warrant. Holy fuck. One dollar for a lifetime's worth of good times, kicking it with the crew in your Dirt Alley. One dollar worth of deed. $19. Worth of Cold Beers. You got some milk cartons to sit on. Put some Hes and Madela.

Milk cartons. Park bench, you bought off Facebook Marketplace. Oh, posts and up on your Facebook Marketplace Park Bench and Dirt Alley, you bought for a dollar? Oh, my God. Oh, it's still got like the plaque on there for some fucking old dude that it's dedicated to. And you're, and you're, you're smiling, because it cost you a buck. A buck. Oh, my God.

You don't feel stupid at all. Yeah. You were like, man, I'm so fucking smart to have sent in a check for $1 to the tax office. They got to, everyone, whoever's holding on to this information that you can just purchase an alleyway for a dollar, we got to, we got to fix this. Seems like there's like the have alleys and have not alleys, right? Yeah, we should know about this. We should know about this. I want a dollar alley.

Why aren't we doing this? Why isn't the ATO being like, hey, do you want to buy a dirt alleyway for a buck? Do you want to buy one of those little pathways that goes like from a park to the primary school, like past like three houses? I love those. Yes. It's got a little low voltage transformer on it. But you can post up on it. You can post up at the transformer before they go past and charge them a dollar.

The soothing hum of the low voltage transformer? The first time I ever saw a bong at all was like a gatorade bottle and a bit of garden hose in one of those little public. In one of those walkways. I think one of the first episodes of 99% of visible is actually just about those as a concept. Well, they're liminal spaces. They're liminal spaces. They're liminal as hell. Tumblr.com.

That's right. Liminal as. How good is it when you find a new one of those? There's like quite a few around where I live and every now and there and I'll be like, I'm not allowed to go down there, am I? And I'm like, that's public. Well, I've only gone like the full block of my house once because it's very hilly. It's a very steep road.

But I had to go because I was super mad. And I'm like, I did an angry walk. I haven't done an angry walk in a very long time. That's good. That's healthy. An angry walk? Oh, so healthy. Came back, still mad.

But did find one of those little walkways. That's awesome. That's so good. And two cats, two neighbourhood cats. I was just kind of thinking that, like, it's good that mostly we keep cats indoors these days. But I do miss, I don't see neighbourhood cats ever. And I miss that. I've got heaps in mine.

Heaps of them around my place. Yeah. Also, I saw a cat's in. cane toad the other day for the first time since I moved here. The first time? The first time. I was walking home late and he was hopping along the road making some fucked up sounds. I've seen one today.

Oh, really? I see them hopping like everywhere when drive the car out of the driveway. They're so fucking. The ones at my place are huge. No, they're enormous. Truly awful. They're ugly. They make horrible sounds.

They poison our wildlife. They eat our insects. Yeah. They make me worried about what Louis's going to do if he sees one and then he just ignores them. So it's fine. That part's fine. Still, I don't like them.

But are they better than cane beetles? We'll never know. We'll never know. Oh, no, we do because we still got cane beetles because they didn't eat the cane beetles. I feel like I saw a cane beetle the other day. Yeah, next time you think you're bad at your job, at your job. Whatever. Which is our job.

Dump it, cut it, whatever. Hey, speaking of dump it, can I give you guys a quick dump it? Would you? It's time for dump it. When the story ain't funny enough. Don't it when there ain't enough funny stuff. Junk it. If you walk the show to be good then gone and dump all that stuff.

Oh, you know what this is dump. Dumpet. Trash it. The reason this is a dumpet is that this is, it's something that happened on TV, on Jimmy Kimmel, which I think is, I don't know what the show is called. Okay, Jimmy Kimmel. Tonight with Jimmy Kimmel. Tonight, today.

Jimmy Kimmel live, whatever. It's a talk show celebrities go on there and stuff. So this is obviously not, you know, obscure in any way, but I can't really stop thinking about it because I can't find a way to fit it into my universe. I don't understand it. Kate Beckinsale went on Kimmel. Okay, yeah. And somehow arrived at telling him.

From Underworld. From Underworld. Underworld. Yeah. You bet you're fucking us from most of the underworld movies. Yeah. She went on there, somehow ended up telling an anecdote about how her daughter's boyfriend laid two eggs. Huh?

Sorry? He laid an egg at one point. And then later on a couple of weeks later, she got a text being like, you're not going to fucking believe this. it's happened again. Yeah. Like a chicken egg. This is an anecdote that she told. Yeah, this is something that she...

I don't think that that happened. I think that something in the process here is like lost in translation. Can I, let me, let's find this a direct quote. Okay, here we go. During a conversation with Kimmel about her daughter's boyfriend, Beckinsale suddenly revealed, he laid two eggs in a week. He laid two eggs in a week? I don't know if he did.

Kimmel asks Is that a British thing I don't know about And she says no He's from New Jersey He's a Jew from New Jersey I thought it was possibly that Oh New Jersey Jew egg Okay well I'm Kate Beckinsale

I'm not with you there I don't understand what you're saying Kate Beckinsale Kimmel pressed What does that mean He's laid two eggs in a week Quote well he said I've laid an egg

She said that it even had a shell And a yolk Kimmel says hold on a second an egg came out of his body. Beckensale said, yes, and not out of his mouth or ears. It came out the route that would expect to come out of a hen. Yeah, if it's pussy, yeah. Well, she continues, well, not his vagina.

He went to the bathroom. It was out of his asshole. Yeah. He went to the bathroom and then was very surprised to find that he had laid an egg. And she says, I'm absolutely certain before recalling. Here we go. Got a longer quote here. The first time it happened, he was genuinely scared.

And you know, he was like it's got a full shell. It's got a yoke and you know it's the size of a bird. He crushed it. Yes, he crushed it to see what was inside. Because he was scared of the... What are you going to do if you shit out an egg? Why did she say this? It's a question you would hope to never ask yourself.

Why did she say these things? I think I'd turn around and I'd look at it. I go, well, I wasn't expecting that. Yeah, I think that'd be really good. I was expecting that to be shit. Check, please. he crushed it to see what was inside and a yoke was inside like a hard boiled one too so it kind of cooked inside him what i thought it didn't is she known as being like a like is she a prankster is she

is she trying to do like a dakota johnson like funny lie or is she is she the the subject the victim of a prank and she's just incredibly stupid that they fed her they fed her they fed her My boyfriend laid an egg the other day. You should talk about it on Jimmy Kimmel. You should talk about Jimmy Kimmel. He's fine with it. He's very, he's very body positive. Everyone else at the table is laughing and she's like, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, she's going to do it.

No, she'll definitely do it. He laid another one, mum. How crazy is that? Jimmy Kimmel. A week later, my daughter was flying back to New York, which is where she lives. So then I got a text going, oh my God, oh my God, he's done it again. And now he's really freaking out. You aren't being fucked with.

I think you're being fucked with. Kimmel's follow-up questions are like, did he put it up there? And she's like, no, obviously not. That'd be crazy. The egg would get crushed. I don't know. Maybe this is that a famous, dry British sense of humor.

Yeah. You know, you tell her a sort of about... The joke is that obviously he didn't. But she's selling it. I guess, maybe. Or she's completely fucking insane. I feel like she might be completely insane. Or she is being fucked with by her own.

daughter. I think she's fucking with Kimmel. I think classic. Americans don't get the British sense of view. They don't understand. They wouldn't get Monty Python. They wouldn't get Red Dwarf. She's doing Monty Python stuff.

Yeah, it's a classic black adder scenario. I understand Red Dwarf. It's just not funny. It's really not funny. It's really not funny. There's no jokes in it. Very bad. Yeah.

Oh, the guy's a cat as well. The cat guy, very bad. Not funny. Not funny. The cat guy at Red Dwarf, not funny. I don't care. He thinks he's a cat. It's like some of the shows you can watch them and you know, okay, this was kind of groundbreaking at the time.

I barely do an audible laugh at anything in the young ones, but at least I know they were doing something interesting a bit. I watch Red Dwarf and nothing. No, I feel, yeah. I'm not 12 anymore, okay? Yeah. Yeah. I'm a grown up man now. I think that was definitely an episode of the podcast.

Sure. Yeah, she sure told that egg story. Yeah, I'm just, I'm going to, you know, I'm right in. If I'm like way off the mark and this is like viral marketing for rise of the air lords. Maybe, maybe we're a viral mark. Yeah, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, it's for the egg man cometh. Yeah. Yeah. If it, if it turns out in a month from now that this was all for the egg man cometh.

Yeah, this part is getting tropped. So. Yeah. It'll be out. We'll check back, it'll be out. We've got our fingers on the pulse. We'll be ditching it, yeah. Yeah, yeah, we'll get rid of this.

We're like pitchfork. We'll go back and revise our older opinions to just sort of like line up with what. We can record over it. We can re-record it. We'll say how fucking funny it was. How funny it was. But also kind of like, it's sort of a capitalist kind of symptom of larger hole or whatever. Yeah, yeah.

We'll definitely talk about large holes. That much I know. Yeah. Yeah. He had a tiny little hole. Yeah. I bet it's maybe it's a reference. It's like there's probably like a British TV show called like, pardon my bottom.

Yeah. It's about like a guy who lays eggs. Everyone's in drag. And he's in drag. And they all lay eggs. They're all conservative. And if they saw a transverse at one time, they would have heart attacks and die. Yeah.

We will catch you next week. If you want more of this podcast, we do a bonus episode every fucking week. Every single one. Don't say it like that. That we love them. Wake out of the week. I was genuinely bummed when like we try and keep it to four people on the thing because otherwise it's just a mess.

And we had Demi on last week and everyone else was pumped. So I'm like, all right, I'll just take it off. And then I just sort of sat there. Yeah. You did seem genuinely crestfallen afterwards in a way that made me quite sad. And I thought I'd feel good. I thought I'd go like, hey. Morning off, hour of, you know.

Free time. You know, when you're a kid, you're a kid, get free time finally I've got some free time and I can do anything I want I'm going to read some X-Man comics about my favourite they've got them in the library

Yeah I read about my favourite X-Man X-Man X-Man They say shit in this one Oh my God They've got some of that Dark Horse stuff Where it's a bit ruder

Just for the adults That's how I read Um That doesn't matter We'll talk to you next week Bye Bye me

dead at times rivers rivers I see time time we're at

so far Thank you.