Boonta Vista - EPISODE 425: A Thomas Crapper In Every Universe

Episode Date: December 7, 2025

Lucy, Theo, Andrew, and Ben bring you: Letting comparison be the thief of the joy of fucking someone else's wife, spray-painting the glyph of protection on the deer you were forced to set free, and making nothing but bad decisions during an act of charity. *** We discussed the guy with the inside deer in episode 325: Fuckable Mrs Doubtfired By A Close-Up Magician. *** Outro: UMI Says - Yasiin Bey *** Support our show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista *** Email the show at [e-mail]! Call in and leave us a question or a message on 1800-317-515 to be answered on the show! *** Twitter: twitter.com/boontavista Website: boontavista.com Twitch: twitch.tv/boontavista

Hello, my God, is that Altman as well? That's Altman, like that. They call it the summer of Altman. Ah, again. We get a second line. Crazy. Hello, and welcome to Bonifesta, episode 4. 125. I'm Theo, and this is, of course, the world's only specifically pussy-free podcast.

Yes, that's right. We've been covering it a bit on these last few episodes. There's an absolute cooker of an episode from the bonus this week where we go over a post from Reddit. Isn't that crazy? And, you know, I think we talk socially as well on this show. You know, we're all friends. That's sort of part of the magic, I think. I don't know how it was for you guys, but, you know, the, we're talking about it and started to, it's like, it's starting to make sense, kind of, like, the more you talk about it. But we are pussy-free now, you know, in our loving relationships. And it's actually been like, for me, it's been kind of healthy. I've been able to focus on myself and, you know, go, ah!

Oh, please. Sorry, I forgot to. I forgot to turn my alarm off this morning. Jesus. Please. Okay. Podcast. Podcast.

I am here, as always, with my friend Lucy. Lucy, you said you've been getting really into editing the Wikipedia or the separate wiki, sorry, on gamers next. What are they, what's the fucking wiki? What are we, what is, where are we going? For Kingdom Hearts?

For Kingdom Hearts, I'm on the K-H Wiki because I'm pussy free. Yeah, well, it's giving you time to focus on your. You will only understand if you listen to the bonus episode the other day. I'm sure we've done this. So if you didn't, this is going to make no sense. We probably are. It might make sense depending on your personal life. Yeah.

And also from context clues as well. I think we are probably the only podcast covering, like, the pussy-free beat, actually. I've been thinking that. Yeah, pussy-free beep. But you know what? In like three weeks, you're going to see it popping up on like every podcast. Oh, it's going to be on every other podcast. It's going to be on Rogan.

It's going to be on Marin. Amy Polo-1. You know Ben's face tells me he was not expecting me to name two different podcasts. You look like you were petering out real fast after Rogen. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, another podcast. Please, please, please. That is, of course, my good friend, Ben, who is currently eating a bar of old spice soap in a way, in a manner I can only describe as flagealistic. How are you, Ben?

Please tell me what's been happening in your life. Actually, I think it's been really good, actually. I think like all of the energy that I previously. would have been putting in to, like, thinking about it, having sex. And then having sex, yeah. And then having sex with my wife, who I love very much, I think it's better this way, because now I'm putting it into other projects and stuff.

I'm eating much more soap than I used to eat. Actually, my soap numbers are going through the roof right now. Please! Oh, God, please! Help me! You let me know, if you haven't seen this already, you let me know when you're in emotional state, ready to accept this.

But I saw the other day a video of, it was Rear Seahorn on a like a Zoom chat and she was like in a sleeveless shirt and she raised her arm so you could see her armpits. Did you see that? I don't know who that is or what you're talking about. What? Why are you bringing this up? I just thought it might be something could have been just to Ben lately given his current love.

Rear Seahon's armpits. I'm a little bit worried that if someone in public accidentally brushes a hair to against me that I might full-on come. So I've sort of not been doing anything. I've just been sort of sitting around eating bars of soap. Not breaking any rules, though. I'll send you guys that video later. And that, of course, it's so weird.

It's so much more preferred than just if she'd done like a nude scene or something like that. And people are just like, oh yeah, here's a video of showing her up. Is this people shared in, like, in groups that you're in? It's in Hellthread. Is the L's that you're in? Wait, no. You know who Rear Seahorn is, Ben? Don't you from?

Pluribus. And Better Call Saul. Haven't watched either of those. Amazing actress. She's wonderful. I bet. Yeah. She's fantastic.

Amazing actress. Wonderful arm-pits. Yeah. That, of course, is Andrew. He is sitting in the Lotus position hovering three feet from the ground like the opening of Birdman because he missed the message in the group chat when we said, we were going pussy-free. We have an imperfect system of communication on this podcast.

Just a quick reminder for you, Theo, that does count as a work chat that you are posting these links and videos and instructions about what we are and aren't doing with pussy. Yeah, sorry, I've got to go review the social media policy of Buntevista, the trust. What is this? I think we're a trust. I think we're a trust. We're a trust or a partnership. We're a partnership.

We don't know anything about money. We don't know anything about anything. Or tax codes or like financial services. The less we know the better. The less we know the better. The less we know the better. I've been feeling really good. I'm feeling really relaxed.

Feeling at one with myself. And sometimes with your wife as well. I don't feel like there's an unbearable pressure like behind my eyeballs like they're just going to pop out of my skull if I see somebody in a sundress is by the way

look it's got to come out somewhere yeah yeah like the you pussy free guys with the clothes peg on the end of you did like those guys on the Guinness Book

of World Record show like are you going to mention the eyeballs the eyeball that they're shooting milk I was having a conversation with someone yesterday about the milk Eyeball shooters.

The milk eyeball shooters. Oh, wow. On the Guinness Book of World Record TV show. I haven't thought of that in a while. Yeah, fucking with a friend of the show, Shave, we were, I don't even know how we got on to the Guinness Book of Records, but he was like, like, like, the guys that shoot the milk out of their eyes. I was like, oh, the milk shooters.

We're all familiar with the milk shooters. Really made an impression on all of us. Yeah. I saw this as a kid. Yeah, it was pretty weird. It was on the TV show. On the TV show. Which was a big television event in Australia.

It was, yeah. We're like, whoa. What's going to be the best of the thing? You know when the records were something sensible? Yeah. You can shoot milk out of your eye. Yeah. Not like the silly stuff they're doing now.

Yeah. Which is... Guy are doing the highest number of spitting a ping pong ball out of his mouth at a wall and then catching it back in his mouth on the first bounce. And I just watched a video of this dude doing this for two solid minutes or whatever it was with him just going, That's just silly. Pop, pop, pop, pop. Okay, and that's somehow...

More silly. Well, we've talked about this before. That's the one guy who's trying to break as many records as he can for the meta record of most records broken. So he comes up with really fucking specific things to do every day with his mate in his garage. Which is itself a record, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They should also...

And also, they're a mercenary organization. they will just like show up and if you pay $10,000 they will make up a record for you as well and give it to you. The Guinness Book of World Records organization has some problems. I think it should be run by the EU.

Yeah. I think the EU should take over the Guinness Book Records. I think it should be ISO. ISIS. It's got to be like an ISO. Isis should take over. Yeah, they take it very seriously. You know the Hollywood Walk of Fame,

you know, getting a... a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Oh, man. Yeah. Apparently, when you get a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, you pay $85,000. What? They should be paying you. They should be paying you.

Oh, you're the star. Yeah. You want my star on there? Well, apparently somebody, you have a sponsor and they pay $85,000 in fees. Right. So I can imagine some people just paying for their own and saying, hey, I got my star of the Hollywood Wall of Fame. You got a pay pig?

To get your star on the... Well, I guess because then they're going to walk on you, aren't they? We could do that. We could get some pay picks for that, I reckon. Yeah, $85,000, we can put this together. To get us on them, Bunta Vista, Hollywood Walk a fame. I don't know why, but the one actor I can imagine not paying for his and, like, sponsors actually paying for it was, I feel like James Hong got his a little while ago.

Oh, well deserved. You sure. Absolutely. Yeah. So many roles. One of the great... iconic roles. I don't think he's putting down 85 grand of his own money.

He probably would have had to have many sponsors sort of all chipping into their like teenage bank accounts, et cetera. Yep. I can see where you were going for. I don't know if logic entirely holds up, but yeah, he does. He loves dating a young woman. I think I gave him the enthusiasm it deserves. No, Leonardo de Caprio.

James Hong, oh, very problematic. I miss the leap. James Hong, you are. cancelled and 100-year-old character actor James Hong. Deceased character actor James Hong, I believe. I hope not. I hope he's still with us, didn't he? He's still going?

Holy fuck. 1929. 1929, that is the old times, by the way. James Hong. He really is from the old. He still working. Oh, yeah, okay. Yeah, yeah, all right.

That's a face, I know. Blade Runner. Yeah. I saw the first half of big trouble in Little China. It's the greatest movie of all time. It's really good. It's perfect in every way. I've seen that movie five million times.

Blade Runner's good. Hey. I'll watch that again. James Hogg. He is nearly a century old and I bet pretty often he has to visit the doctor. We have our own doctor and we talk to her in Paging Dr. Lucy. If you find that you are having a little relationship, Just to pick up your telephone

And dial it on the double You call 1-800-317-515 Now you're pageant dot go to see This comes to us from Actually, can I just say Just in a moment of appreciation For how beautiful and special women are Lucy put on a full face of makeup

While also participating in the intro I'm sorry. I didn't know if you were going to point that out. I got somewhere to be. Now, I don't want to diminish women's achievements, but also, but I delivered, I wouldn't fuck you with my bull's dick while playing Slay the Spire. You're not supposed to be playing Slay the Spire. I have to do that. I can't. This is the thing that I record on, but I have uninstalled it from the laptop because I can't up picture myself. No, no self-control whatsoever. I have no self-control.

I'm a little piggy for dopamine. I don't really like dopamine. Not a fan. I can live without it. I'm dopamine-free, actually. This is where you're swimming in dopamine. There's the kind of shit you say. Meanwhile, I'm out here starving.

I'm looking for a single crumb of dopamine. And you get it from getting to level five. Ascension 20. I don't know. I don't need it. Yeah, that's correct. Well done, Ben. Dopamine.

Well done. I'm up to Ascension 8. Okay. Yeah. This comes to us from R slash swingers. First time has this ever happened to anyone? First time has this ever happened to anyone? Question mark.

First time has this ever happened to anyone? First time has this ever happened to anyone? First time has this happened to you? Wife and I have been playing out the swinging a hot wife fantasy for a while. She has been haitant. He a It's a pretty common The S is right next to the A on the keyboard

That's yeah True, yes You know Yeah You know what's happening here And if your S keys broken You can use that fucked up B From Germany

That's true Use a 5 I reckon It's true How come Germany's got the fucked up B What's the deal with the fucked up B What One S wasn't good enough for you Yeah

They need two S's together I'm so tired from typing out Two S's I wish there was a special B Well, she finally agreed to grab drinks with another couple that messaged us on a swinger website. I finally relented into... Getting on a swinger website?

Yeah. We met at a random bar for drinks with no expectations. We did not think anything would happen but had an open mind. Well, my wife really hit it off with both of them. I did too, but I'm the more social one. Humble brags. I've got no problem getting along with people. We hung out for hours and had several rounds of drinks

and they asked us back to their place for a nightcap. My wife is the one who, if you may on a swing of a website. Do you have to pretend that the nightcap is the thing that's happening? Yeah, do you still have to be like, oh, let's go have one more drink at our place. I have a very nice, tawny port. And then they start having sex with it and you're like, this is weird. Yeah, we're just here for the tawny port.

I was expecting a nightcap. I think they're just trying to keep the mystery and the magic alive. I think if they all meet up at, like, like a Starbucks and they say, we all agree that we're going back to our place for intercourse. The least romantic place on earth. Yep.

Scan this QR code to consent to the conditions of this encounter. Thought of like a coffee date, a swinger coffee date. Yeah. 100%. Because you know they might even have diarrhea by the time they get to go and have sex a second location. They're going to have movement of coffee.

You've got to use the bathroom at Starbucks first. Yeah. What was that interesting fact that you told us just before? we started recording. So, I love drinking coffee. I drink lots of coffee, but it makes me anxious. So I try and drink decaf from like, so this is my last coffee of the day.

It's 9.36 a.m. And, but I'll be drinking decaf from now on. Now, coffee makes you piss and it makes you shit. Correct. That we can all agree upon. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Decaf coffee still makes you shit, but it doesn't make you piss, except in the normal amount of

just taking, you're taking in some fluids. It's because the diuretic effect lives with the caffeine, the diarrhoea effect. You drink it a full lactose milky coffee? I am drinking a full lactose milky coffee. It's fine. My bowels are relatively normal now. That can't be right. I know.

Oh, quick something to chat about. I don't like when Americans are talking to their children and they say make in reference to shitting. Do they still do that? Do you need to make? Can you use it in a sentence, please? Do you make potty? Do you need to make? Do you need to make?

What? I think we stopped doing that in cowboy times, maybe. I don't know, man. I reckon people are doing it. I mean, I do need to make. I need to create. You need to create. I do, yeah, we all need to.

I am manufacturing something. Putting beauty into the world with what was he free intro. I've had two coffees and I'm about to, about to launch a new product Oh yeah That's yeah Would you like to produce That's really good actually

Yeah Do you need to produce Would you like to create some value I want Maybe a little side Something we should chat about Stuff whatever it is that we call A side side quest

A sub thing to chat about Yeah Yes Andrew I think it should be normal For you to have a designated shitting toilet in your house that is like further away from the communal areas of where like the social event is happening. I do that in my house.

I'm fortunate now to have moved from a one toilet house to a two toilet house. The toilet near the kind of living area kitchen thing, that's not for shitting. That's not where my dokey goes. The one without the door near where I sleep, near where I lay my head and my wife lays her head. That's for the turds of shit, like, diarrhea, kind of like throwing some nasty sludge. That's the one with a handhold next to it. We do have a handhold next to our shitter hole. I want one on both sides.

Something I just had, just had a memory, like a bolt out of the blue of a woman that I had a... A Proustian reverie? A long-term relationship with years ago. You smelled a turd and it threw you in her. threw me back no like this the smell of madden's shit we were together for like

six or seven years or something but I remember going to a family's house and in their house there was like the big living area but the room with the toilet in it so it wasn't a bathroom and the toilets in the bathroom there's like toilet chamber

and then there's a separate bathroom with shower and and sink and stuff like that. And that particular room, like door on the living area, like the lounge room. It's not enough abstraction. Like, I am stepping into the shitting chamber now. And if somebody does something fucked up in there, they open the door and like the room that everyone's hanging out in is immediately filled with the smell.

So like, that's some extra pressure right there. That's too much. I have to make and it can't smell. I got to do a smellless make I had some friends of ours We're living in a sharehouse Do you smell making? You smell making

Some friends of mine in a sharehouse Had the same situation Where like They used to do an annual Like Christmas dinner Where they would have like 20 people around And it's a one holler And it opens directly onto the dining table

It's no good That is really One of the times in my life, most recently where I've come closest to shitting myself, was at one of those where I was just like, I cannot do this. There's no way. I feel like at this point, it's like the rules of society have degraded. It's not your fault. It's not your fault.

If you go in there and you just start, you sound like a dump truck releasing. It's like, it's load. That's architecture that is breaking the pact that we have all established since the days of, you know, going a second cave going away from the campfire yeah we dokey over there yeah we dokey over there going to the furthest corner of the cave

we made onsuits we decided on an onsuit what the fuck is that ridiculous what is that what is that we have a situation at our house where we have a hybrid onsuit regular toilet

where it has doors on either side of it which creates I love the double door it creates an issue it's a logic puzzle that you have to solve. It's, yeah, no good. Would not design a house that way, me personally.

I would have one pissing toilet. How would you design a house, Ben? Beautifully. Yeah. Let's fire up the Sims. You to work. You and me, the Sims too, because it doesn't have all the extra stuff in there and I wouldn't get overwhelmed.

The peak, probably the peak of my life. You know, I got married and children and all that sort of stuff. But I built so many beautiful things in the Sims too, the architecture you could. To my grand Palazzo's Oh, the Palazos Beautiful Hussians I never played the Sims In its day

And not that long ago I was like Oh my kids probably like the Sims Yeah I'll put it on the PlayStation It was like maybe one of the free You can't play the Sims PS Plus library or whatever

Well No that's hard And I put it on And I started it up And I was like Let's have a little go of the Sims And after what seemed like 40 minutes of

creating a character, I went, I'm out. I don't think I got to the house. I don't think I got to putting the person in the house. You got stumped by the actual point of the Sims, right? Yeah,

I think I was like, I don't fucking care about any of this as much. Oh my God. You got to the checkbox that I asked whether you want your character to have Morton's toe. He went, ah, nah, I can't do this anymore.

Do you guys want to know a fun fact I learned the other day? Yes. You know, like the name, like the Sims and like the Sim Earth and all that. Yeah. They're actually, they're named after Sid Meyers' initials.

Sid Ian Meyer. That's not true. I just made that up just then. You dog. It's short for simulation. I think it's short for simulation. Okay. Sid Ian Myers.

Do you see how much I trust you that there was not a moment? You took advantage of our trust just now. And I feel like degraded it slightly. It's not also that interesting of a fact I don't think if it was true. They asked us back to their place for a nightcap My wife was the one who said yes Which I was ecstatic with We got there and had one more drink

And things started to heat up on the couch With me Me with my wife and him with his I could have done that at home Yeah true Could have done that over Skype The husband asked if we wanted to go into the bedroom And I looked at my wife

And she said she was okay going If I wanted to hang out with his wife in the living room on the way my wife told me that she would feel more comfortable in separate rooms that she wasn't ready to watch me with another woman but was okay if it happened this is oh i don't know i don't know if swings for you if you don't like that that's what they get off on i thought that was the good bit the good bit was being in the same room yeah but i feel like they're doing something secret now right now it's a secret now you're doing secrets they could be doing anything

in there yeah like having sex like having sex yeah hey you're having sex with my wife in there? You haven't sex with my wife? Oh yes. No, that's what we talked about. No, no, we did yet. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I had a few drinks, I forgot what we were doing.

I forgot what we. I forgot what we discussed at Starbucks. The guy from Memento at a swingers party getting very angry. You're fucking my wife! Yeah, taking your wife to the swingers party and having the William H. Macy scene from boogie nights happened to you over and over.

room. Oh my God. So here is my challenge. We played in separate rooms and I had four play and sex. Don't say play. Don't say play. Yeah, I really hate that. I don't like saying I had four play and sex. Four play is part of sex.

You don't have foreplay. It's all part of it. Oh, I just had some for play. You can't have some for play. You cannot have four play without sex. That's so true. You guys, you guys don't get to a point and then say,

four play has concluded. Sex is beginning. I mean, I feel like there's a play. I will not be paying attention to you from now on. Can you imagine wearing like a silk robe and just announcing, let the sex begin. The time for foreplay is behind us. The time of the sex hafer is now.

Running it like a work meeting. Well, look, I got to keep this on track. I hope everybody got all the foreplay they needed. But it is time to move on to the sex Conscious of the time We've got to get the sex started If we want to be out of here by three Oh we're on the hour now

Is everyone happy to keep going Is everyone happy to go a little longer We can probably offline some of the foreplay For another time Yeah but there will be some action items If we stop at this point Imagine the ice breakers at that one I had four play in sex

For about 30 to 40 minutes Where we both came And we're satisfied And that's normal. Yeah, that's good to everyone doing. I think the average is generally about 45. 45? And if you're doing less than 45, you should feel bad and adequate right there.

Once you hit 45 minutes on the dot, you can commence the sex. 45 minutes of foreplay? That's excessive. That's luxuriating. Well, for some people, luxuriating is actually what they look forward to the most. As an adult, I do sometimes listen to the R&B of my youth, you know, the music I used to listen to. I don't know. And it's very funny to me listening to a song that's like, I will make love to you until the sun comes up.

They're all like that. Now that I'm an adult, I'm like, I don't want that. I want you to. Do you have any idea what time it is now and what time sunrise is? You sound fucking insane. It's got to mess up your whole day. It is the one time I really feel out of shape. I'm like, I am actually like my core muscles of

that we might have hit the wall on this one. I'm going to plank on you for six hours. I've got to be doing my kegles. No. I always wonder sometimes like whether, I'm not sure if that's what's going to help you. Those aren't your core muscles. The kegles are not in the core.

I don't think you can be doing kegles, Theo. They're basically like. Tatooine, they're quite far from the core. Jesus, guys. Four players ended. Sex will not be beginning. Before this show started, by the way,

Ben was worried that we might not have enough to go on for this episode, but we found a tattooing joke in there somewhere. Isn't that the beauty of improv? Yeah. This podcast sucks. Hence seeing. The other husband fucked my wife for well over

two hours. Oh my God. It's so funny to be like Swinger cucked. It's like you're fitting. And you're just sitting out there like some guy's wife. Oh no, surely not. What do you want to watch some?

There's Game of Thrones on the TV. What's your favorite YouTube video? You start. You pick one, then I'll pick one. Then you pick one. Yeah. Have you ever seen a video clip for, We are your friends by Justice for Simeon?

Fuck. Just turning gradually, turning the TV up louder and This one's called the salmon dance. It's quite funny. A little band called OK Go. Their music's okay. Oh my God. We're running out of OK Go videos.

No! I thought we'd never get to the end of the OK Go videos and I can hear her busting in there. We're going to have to start on the Michelle Gondry videos. God help us if we hit Chris Cunningham. That's a good night. I've got the DVD that collects every Michelle Contry music video. I'll just pop that on and surely that'll cover us. This is such an unpleasant story, Ben.

Thank you. I've got that DVD. We're not done. It's a great DVD. That's a good DVD. It's a quality DVD. Kids these days are telling each other about good DVDs to buy anymore. They might be actually.

I love the Matrix. The Matrix on D-Vatrix on D. DVD? Special features? The special features, you can see how they, like, set up the, like, 270-degree camera movements. Fucking crazy, dude. They were fucking, they were cooking. And you can do that while someone's fucking your wife.

You remember how much? You remember how the Matrix was the thing they used to try and get people onto DVD? 100%. All the ads for DVD were footage of the Matrix. Yeah, but the ads for DVD were on VH. And my friend's dad watched this ad, like, leading him with my friend. He's like, I don't know, it just looks like VAS is the same. It just doesn't look, it looks the same.

It was really stupid because they're like, it's sharper and then it's showing you footage that still doesn't look that sharp. What would have been great is to be like, if they had on screen the text, we can't show you what this might look like because this is a VHS and we are limited by the format. What do we crave? Clarity. But you won't find it here. Here, you'll find it.

On DVD. 540 vertical lines. 720I? Oh, forget about it. Oh, when they're showing... Forget about it. It looks like shit. On VHS, when they're showing you that letterbox crop in a 4x3 picture.

Oh, my God. We really thought that we could get away with interlaced. Yeah. Like FMVs in video games? If you play one of those on a widescreen TV and then you've got like... Like, bars down the side and bars on the top. You're only watching the middle of the image. Yeah.

I want it thoroughly boxed. Box my video, please. Waiter. She came four times and is usually a one and done woman. I sat in the living room with his wife. Yeah. Better guy. Better core, strong and core.

Also, how do you know? Did she tell you that she came four times? Or were you literally sitting outside listening? Well, I think I sat in the living room with his wife, listening to my wife, get pounded for hours, and when they came out, she had the biggest smile. That's nice. I don't feel jealous, but feel like I underperformed with the other guy's wife? He definitely outdid me. She now wants to see them again next weekend.

I don't think. I didn't even think of that. It's like he's also let down this wife, who's used to like a two-hour, four-old chasm crazy style. She's getting pounded by a real stud. I don't think you can really blame yourself for the job that you did with his wife. Like, it sounds like you did a perfectly... 40 minutes? 30 to 40 minutes. 30 40 minutes.

Yeah. The thing is, you're going to get puffed out. You're going to get puffed. You're going to get tired. Your core muscle's going to get sore. You need to get one of those... One of the crunch machines. Crunch machines.

You're going to get the crunch machines. There's just a tube, a bent tube, and you remember those guys? I do, yeah. The ab something? Ab swing? No. It doesn't matter. Body by Jake.

Remember that guy? No. No. Real old in commercial. This is like, this is the worst case scenario as well for this guy. Like you... Great for his wife, though. Great for his wife.

Like, you rolled the dice and you got the fuck machine. Yeah. That's unfortunate. Like, it sounds like you still had a nice time. You know what? Comparison is the thief of joy. Yeah, think about whether you had a nice time or not. Did you and this other guy's wife

have a nice time. Maybe she's tired of his marathon quattro orgasm two hour breakfasts. Oh, she would be. She wants a nice compact 40 nights.

The walls are raking. Yeah. Okay. It could be. Yeah, maybe. Maybe she is often in there just getting put through the mattress for hours of the time.

And for like, for an hour and a half, two hours of it, she's just thinking, I just want to talk about movie trivia with someone. I just want to watch the Michelle Goddrey. I would learn to love it if he just wrap this up. I would love someone. Like,

I kind of feel like I've seen a lot of the good YouTube videos. Yeah. And I would just like someone else's perspective on what's a good YouTube video to watch. Maybe that's all she really wants. Maybe she would fucking love to be banged for 30 minutes and then for it to end. I would like to have slightly longer

the normal sex and then watch some like order the rings making of there's a normal time frame for it it's a die off the lens and we're all going to be the first person to say what we think is the normal length of time to have sex for

I don't think there is a normal length I think it's beautiful any length that you go for yeah four hours two hours two hours too long minutes and as long as and here's the thing both of you or all of you have to be exactly as interested in the sex for the entire duration of it

until the exact moment you all want to finish simultaneously. Look, I don't want to get crass on this show. I don't want to get too blue. You just five minutes ago talked about getting tired from fucking for too long. But I'm a man who's on both FXOR and ADHD meds. I understand. Sometimes it's just not interesting. Do you guys remember that we read a study?

Because that's the sort of thing we do on this podcast. Yeah, we used to go. We teach, we share our knowledge. We interpret. We're science interpreters. And but this is important. We synthesize. Yes.

We amalgamate. Yeah. We talked about a study where they like had people have conversations and then asked them afterwards like, was that conversation too short or too long? for you or whatever. And the results were basically that no one ever thinks a conversation has gone for the right length of time, that someone always

thinks it went for too long. And someone always thinks it went for, like, it would over too quick. It's probably true of sexual intercourse as well. There's always one person being like, wrap it up. Yeah. Come on, buddy. You guys ever finished together, like in the movies?

Well, it doesn't have to be like a movie. It's technically possible. I think the The ideal scenario is that everyone involved is obliged to wear a wristwatch so that you can give a simple, nonverbal signal to your partner that you're ready to wrap it up. You just have a glance at the watch. Let's have a clear time frame. I like to know what to expect.

Let's set a... You want an agenda. I think you sit across from each other at the dining table. You write a number on a piece of paper, face down, slide it across to each other. They're a counteroffer. And then you find a time frame that you both agree on. I see your five minutes. I raise you six minutes.

Six and a half maybe. And then that's it. You get a little 30 second warning. And then if it doesn't happen, it doesn't happen. Yeah. You roll over. Shake hands. Yeah.

Because pressure really helps with that stuff. Pressure helps. You need to come now. Come down. Some people work better under pressure. Only 30 seconds. I don't think we should We shouldn't have done this

We shouldn't release this episode We're feeding a lot of a lot of stuff We might just throw it out Yeah hey It might be gross to talk about these things Like the toilet and ejaculation But they're all natural I don't know if the toilet is natural

Using the toilet is natural Would we have always invented the toilet in every timeline Surely Yeah probably I think we would have had a Sir Thomas Crapper In every universe Or we get better at Diggin'all We'll always find each other

The human race in Sir Thomas Crapper I don't know I think in one universe We're inventing the Like the horse bag You know how they got the horse bag on the back of them Yeah I know about the horse bag Yeah one of those

So you can just catch a couple They'd probably call it the man bag in this universe I feel like a nappy is kind of a One and Done for shitting in your pants, right? Oh, you don't have the capacity for multiple shits. Well, yeah, I'm just guessing that once you've got into your nappy, that you want to get it off.

Where does one shit stop at the next begin, though? You think to yourself, when can I go home to a place that doesn't have a toilet that opens directly off this room? That's why I wore this. Just in case, because sometimes you'll be in a Christmas dinner with a bunch of friends and you'll need to shit real bad, and you'll have to turn to your partner and say, we've got to go, but then driving

from Red Hill back down to Orkinflower goes over a lot of speed bumps downhill. That'll put you in a very precarious position. Yeah. And we talk about nature in Nature Corner. Country roads take me home

to the place by the long multivist of Nature Corner Rob of Crap Sit my dick I feel like it's been too long since we've heard that

It's been a little while Is that beautiful This comes from Whtm in Pennsylvania The website Yeah Hypertext markup Yeah Yeah

What's what I think the Fucked up The P for Pennsylvania Yeah We've got to get back to Just HTM Just beautiful HTML, maybe a postback.

Yeah. Like a link that goes to another page. These days we've over-engineered everything. What happened to a static? It's all React. Angular. Yeah. I'm fucking sick of this shit.

Backbone. Mustache. Node. Node. Yeah. Bun. Yeah. Horse.

Deer with pet painted on it found in Lebanon County. Deer with pet painted on it. Deer with pet painted on it. Yeah. Pet. T. Could be polyethylene, whatever. The tea. What's the tea in... This is such a stupid episode.

There's something we could chat about. What's the T and P.T? We all know the polyethylene. We all know the polyethylene or polyurethane or whatever it is. Polyurethane. Oh, the pot? A deer with the word pet spray painted on its side was found on the property of a Lebanon County business.

The Cornwall Borough Police Department had a friendly antlerless male deer. walked onto a business in West Cornwall Township on Saturday, November 29th. At first glance, it looked like any other deer, but the word pet was spray painted in orange on both sides of its body. I'd see that on the first glance, I reckon. Yeah, I challenge the assessment on first glance. It looks on which side your first glance is. If it's dead on the front, I guess maybe you wouldn't see it.

Is it spray painted on both sides? Both sides. Orange on both sides. Orange on both sides. From underneath, perhaps you are a troll looking at, you know, the slats of a bridge as it passes over, probably would look like any other deer. True. Yeah, it's like belly and urethra from down there.

You reckon you could see a deer's urethra from looking up at one? Oh, there it is. I could. I think I could. That's why we call you Hawkeye. Yeah. Police said the deer was not afraid of anyone. And it seemed to want the responding officers to pet it.

That pet story checks out, I think. Yeah, unless it's an instruction, the deer put it there. Please pet. I love this shit. It's gotten its little hands out, like from Adventure Time, sprayed on this. Pointing at the side. Pet? I don't know why it's tickled me so much.

The phrasing, the deer was not afraid of anyone. Yeah. Like, there's no one in the world that could scare that deer. Not even right. In the prison yard, his deer is going up to the biggest guy there, hitting him with the lunch tray. The deer hung around the scene for around 45 minutes before leaving. So they just sort of like hung out, just patted it for like 45 minutes, and then it's like, well, I'm going to head out now. I've had, yeah, I've had enough.

Heading has concluded. 45 minutes, I'm done. 45 minutes. That's the normal amount, by the way. Time for the sex. When they say that, like, police found something on the property, the implication to me is that perhaps there was like a seizure, an arrest, maybe a crime were committed, it was something of interest.

This sounds more like they didn't so much find the deer as encounter it. Yes. They had an encounter with the deal. A visitation happened. They saw it. They petted it. I hope they did. Lord knows I hope they did, yeah.

I hope they did. And then it decided its time had come. You come to a deer with the word pet, painted on its side, and you're not petting it. Why is that? Why is that? My wife got petted for two hours. A gay board and responded to the seed to take a report and said the deer was most likely someone's pet that had gotten too big and had been let loose into the wild. All right.

Okay. What are we doing? Sherlock over here. You can't like, that's not a reasonable thing to a... reasonable thing to assume that someone would do and be like, well, I've got to let him go now. Yeah. Can't flush him. As for the paint, the game warden said they believe

the, quote, owner applied it to keep it safe from hunters per police. Yeah, okay, yeah. That's what I was thinking. Because they want it to be out there living its life, but they don't want it to be unceremoniously shot and killed by a hunter. Yeah.

And they think these people out in rural Pennsylvania are going to go, whoa. That's someone's pet. That's someone's pet. I'll leave this 10 point buck alone Because that's someone's pet Keeping a deer as a pet is illegal in Pennsylvania According to the Game Orden That checks out to me

That seems fair Yeah, pretty normal It's not a pet What circumstances are you keeping a pet deer in? Like, he's just in a paddock at your place Or is he an indoor deer? Is he an indoor deer on the couch? On the couch? He's toilet trained

That'd be so nice Backs up to the toilet Actually, be like that guy that we talked about the guy in the Florida Keys who was videoing himself with all of those like endangered deer that were just like sitting on his couch watching TV with him

Oh yeah Yeah and then all the rest of it happened Not really thinking through What to do with the deer that you got as a pet Hey it could happen to any of us Because Pobody's Nervic We talk about not being NERFIC In Pobody's NERFIC

Pull body's No No Poe body's Perfect No Owhopsie daisy Yeah

Yeah Pole body's Nurfing I just know Oh, oh, oh. I just got a text message from a friend of the show Tom Walker to link to a Guardian article about a cyber war game thingy that happened. And then he screenshoted a photo in it of two people from the US Air Force.

There is a major Tyler Smith and a first lieutenant Riley Bumpus. Riley is spelled R-Y-L-Y. Riley Bumpus, which was apparently sent to him by a friend of the show, David Cunningham. Very talented writer. Funny podcast guest. This is from WUPA in Georgia.

Wupa. Wupa. Got you all in check. I got that head nod shit that make you break your neck. Oh, God, what a fucking song. Don't ever disrespect. Yeah, don't have a disrespect

Georgia man bitten by rabid raccoon after putting injured animal in his coat during rescue attempt Yeah, okay Yeah, try and do something good And then Gaia Rears her ugly head That attacks you.

I cannot be tamed You can't rescue me I can only rescue you Yeah, I'm not trapped here with you Yeah You're trapped here with me Yeah, that's on earth I'm not trapped in your jacket with you

you're trapped in your jacket with me. I'm in here. Yeah. You're trapped. Yeah. Yeah. We're both without that is jacket. Is that where, is watchman where that came from?

Yes. Yeah. Is it just Rorschach? It didn't exist before that. Yeah. I mean, it's in the graphic novel. It is in the graphic novel. It's in the graphic novel.

It's in the graphic novel. It's in the graphic novel. I wouldn't be talking about it if it was just in the movie. I'm thinking it's in the graphic novel. It's in the graphic novel. It's in the graphic novel. I think at least half of this podcast does own that graphic novel. Yeah, I haven't.

It's just like two... You said that very sarcastically for someone who owns it. It's too cool of a line to be in a book that is very deliberately not trying to be cool. Yes, yeah. Yeah. Which the movie definitely understood. It's Zach Snyder. Absolutely on top of that.

That TV show, though. Awesome. I have to see it. It's so fucking good. I don't know if I'm just being switzerland. Swindled by the soundtrack. No, I've also been, I've been told, I've been told by reliable sources. It's a good TV show.

Okay. A Cherokee County man's attempt to rescue an injured raccoon that he found in the middle of the road ended with him in the hospital being treated for a possible rabies infection. Oh. What do you do? Like, okay. What's the treatment for this? They just kill you? They just kill you.

If you come in, you're like, I got it. They're like, well. Okay. I think you can get a vaccine. Time to die. I got a big old spike and I'm just going to hammer it straight through your skull. It's lights out time, basically. Climb into this industrial medical blender, so we will test if you got a, yeah.

We'll puree you immediately. Wheel yourself into the scanner. They just get you to swallow a cup of bullets and then they put you in the MRI machine. At the end, they get the bullets back. They've been reusing the same bullets the whole time. I think if they get you within, is it like, it's a very short window. It's like 72 hours or something, isn't it? Yeah, you've got to go get a vaccine.

Yeah. And Jesse, if you're listening to any of this, just turn off. It's not going to happen to you. Skip ahead a bit. Stop being crazy. You sound crazy right now. Have you tried just not having intrusive thoughts? Yeah.

Officials at the Chattahoochee Nature Center shared the story on Facebook over the weekend saying it was an instant quote that we feel needs to be addressed. Okay. Okay. Speak on it. Yeah. Chattahoochee Nature Center? Yeah.

We're going to read out this article and we don't mind if you're going to talk that shit, basically. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But if anything, they'd be happy with us that we're spreading the news. Yeah, they might not be happy with the first like 45 minutes of the podcast. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, Chattahoochee Nature Center.

Speak your truth. Yeah. I have been thinking a little bit about how, um, uh, that story we did about the woman who, accidentally bought a dirt lane instead of a house how that episode does have her full name and the title of the episode so she ever Googles herself

but she'll have to listen to some other stuff she'll have to listen to a lot of other stuff it's a real mix we front load the shit and the come and then if you wade through all of that you can enjoy hearing us talk a lot of mean things about you according to the centre

the man found the injured animal vocalizing in the road. Oh, me, me, me, me, me. What a beautiful phrase. Vocalizing in the road. Because he didn't have anything to contain the wild animal, he wrapped the raccoon in his coat and, quote, held it against his chest as he drove for more than an hour to the nature center, which is not licensed to rehabilitate animals.

I'm going to save this noble beast. Cradling it like a baby. And now for a full. four-hour drive. Oh, man, that's just so funny. This is like that, it's probably not true, but it's that thing about like the Spartans, right? The, like, the story about one of them having a pet fox and hiding it inside is whatever.

And instead of making a noise to reveal it, it killed him or something. Oh, okay. This is such a smart podcast. I thought it was going to be the other thing about the Spartans. This is just like a story I don't remember. Yeah. And which, if the only part of I remember is that it's probably just like a made-up thing.

I think Herodotus. You know that. You know that feeling when you know what a story is that the other person telling it can't remember it? Well, welcome to the Bonta Vista podcast are things that many of you pay for. Yeah. At some point during the drive,

officials say the raccoon got somewhat free and bit the man on his face and hands. Well, only one part of it really needs to get free For the biting to start The mouth Yeah Somewhat free Delightful phrasing

That is heavenly Somewhat free Bitten on the face and man And hand Oh this I was bitten by a partially freed raccoon I was bitten by a raccoon Between states of capture Oh man

It's like you know he's got one hand on the wheel and one hand trying to contain the rabid raccoon that is biting his face. Yeah. Now that's just good comedy. One hand on the wheel. One hand on that thing.

Yeah. The raccoon. This is why you don't help anyone. Never help. Never help anyone or anything. Look after number one. Can I just say, if you don't know shit about animals,

don't help them. Don't help them. Don't be going fucking pulling pulling baby birds away from their tree or whatever, right? Like, stop doing this shit. shit. Call someone. Call someone who knows. Don't you have like a lesbian aunt who has worked at a

like a vet hospital? She's always got a possum. She's always got a baby possum in her house. Leathery skin, but she's still looking fit. Auntie Lynette. Call up Auntie Lynette. She's going to bring around the Subaru Forrester. It's got a mat in the back. She's ready to go. She's got different sizes of carry cages that she can put it in.

And then you get to hang out. She's not scared to get in a drive with them. Yeah. She's got stories. Oh my God. Growing up gay in Brisbane. She's got stories. Holy fuck.

Under Joe Bjelke Peterson. Getting into fights with cops whenever they shut the parties down. Yeah. Come on. This is pre-Fitzgerald inquiry. Yeah. It was a crazy time. It was a big country town.

I saw a video the other day of a lady like a tourist in one of the towns that gets the huge fucking moose that just like wander through the streets I love that that's like that is a Miyazaki type shit

yeah there was a tourist lady going over to it like trying to take pictures no no no no no you're not gonna want to do that and this voice

rings out from someone like from the front door of someone's nearby house by from a woman who sounds like she's getting very tired of saying this

yeah screaming at this woman get away from it move away it will kill you and we will not help. It's a, it's like a, it is like a crypted appearance. It's a visitation. A visitation. It comes in. All the doors close. Yeah. It's a blood moon rises. A blood moon is risen. There's cackling

from the houses. They're not letting you in. The moose is here. The moose is here. The moose is on the streets. You better run. It's a fine night for moose. A cloud has covered the moon. To be, to be outside on moose nights. Well, better you than me. What is this? That was the last time you played blood born, Theo. So good. The moose is upon us.

You better find a place indoors. Knock, there is no response. I guess I'll have to come back here later. Yeah. Things will probably be better later on. I can't do this. while the moose is happening. You can't fast travel while the moose is near.

He then made a pit stop at home, wrapped the animal at a blanket using duct tape, and that continued his journey to the centre. Don't do this, fuck you. Duck tape, do it. Come on, man. I think that's fair. You'd be pissed off.

Like, you've tried to help this guy out and he's beaten you and you're probably like, I'm not going to be nice anymore. No, Lucy, no, don't take his side. He's being a dickhead. Look, I think he's not. perfect man. He's trying to do the best that he can with what it is he has, which is duct tape and a blanket and a rabid moose.

He's being a dickhead. Leave animals alone. As soon as I'm back at my house with the raccoon where I've gone to get duct tape and stuff, as soon as I get to my house and I open the door, I'm immediately just going, I'm not going back out again. Yeah, I mean, I'm not going back out again. I didn't

need any of this shit. That's probably not rabies. I'm opening the door and I'm kicking him back out onto the road. I reckon at this point he should maybe just leave it in his car and then call someone. Linette. Call Lynette. Yeah. Just call Lynette. Auntie Tara answers the phone. He'd say, hey, Auntie Tara. Got to talk to Lynette. Yep. It's Lynette there. Rabbit raccoon. Yeah. Lynette, you know my place just past like Watersham? You're going to, I'll leave the gate open. Yeah, just come on in. I'm not ready for this. Look for the, look for the mat that is sort of wriggling

under its own power. You'll find a rabid raccoon inside. Look for a somewhat free raccoon. I hope they have Arnie Linets and Arnitaras in America. I hope so much. I hope so. I hope everyone has an Arnillinette and an Anni Tarrara. And a Rudite lesbian auntie?

Could attempt at their word. Nailed that one. Yep. Good try. The man arrived at the C&C. An hour before the wildlife clinic was set to to open. But just as local children were coming for the nature center's Thanksgiving break camp.

Perfect. May I pat it, please? Yay, friend. What are you putting on in the radio while you wait with the raccoon? Probably something calming, I reckon, just to try and bring the tone back down. The score from Kianis Katsi. Kiyanis Katsi. Lucy, if you want to be what you.

Koianis-Katsi yet? What the fuck's that? Koyanis-Kazi. We tell you about these things. It's like you're not even listening. We spent decades smoking weed and watching shit so that we could give you only the best recommendations for having an edible

and watching them. You watch 2001 six nights a week instead of watching Koyonis Kartze or either of the sequels. And you have the diagnosis too. Yeah. I'm allowed to do that. It's kind of a pass. It's comforting. You know what's coming.

I'm putting on a Steve Halpern record and asking the raccoon what its star sign is. Oh my God, Zodiac suite. You, the raccoon in the Zodiac suite? Forget about it. You're putting on lateralis, closed in your eyes. You, the raccoon, you're all one. Open road. We're just going to fucking devolve into just saying the phrases and the things that we like back and forth at each other.

Lateralis. Steve Halpern, 2000. 1001, 35-year-olds, delight, rabid raccoon. Uncle. Is it funny to you when we say uncle? We're, we're unc. We're just like, this is over. Like, if you enjoy this, your brain has also degraded.

And if you're young when you're listening to this, you're just ruining yourself. You're going to say some shit in front of your friends in like the credulous YouTube video thumbnail voice. and they're going to look at you like you're fucking insane. You're like, no, no, no, it's from a podcast. It's not going to like it. It's a podcast I listen to full of 35-year-olds. And then it's half an hour of us talking about times with nearly shit our pants and how long we think it's okay to have sex for before you're not.

And if you are listening to this, I am sad to announce, but it's not going to change the trajectory of your life at all. Your mind has been uploaded. This is the material that is being provided to you in this virtual reality to soothe you so that your meat doesn't go all, like, sinewy and stuff. You know, that was what my, that I was thinking of doing an intro that was basically exactly that. Oh, the start of blind sight. Oh, yeah. You know, his mom gets put in the thing? In the heaven thing. Well, I was thinking that it was aliens had scanned our brains and put us in a, a sort of a featureless

void, but we only had one bit of pop culture. Oh, yeah. And it was going to be a bad movie and that kind of would have been the thing. But then I was like, that's kind of just what the worst idea of all time is. that's very good they've got a new season coming out at the moment I think you should listen that we should have shut them back on

the camp director alerted the wildlife staff about what was happening and the staff met the man in the parking lot to secure the animal in a kennel quote after much

forceful insistence on our part he finally agreed to go to the hospital for treatment while we dealt with the raccoon and the CNC staff wrote they can't get it out of the room he's like

you need to look after the raccoon so you are bleeding profusely There is a big downside, let's say, to not going to the hospital now. Yeah. If you don't go to the hospital now, there may be consequence. How does he need to be convinced of this? Like, we don't even fucking have rabies here, right? Yeah.

And I'm still, I think if I thought I'd been bitten by a rabbit animal. Lissivirus. Yeah, and Lyme disease. She's like only happened to four people. I've learned a lot about this last week. I'm going to call Jesse. out here because a bat, a bat touched me the other day. A bat touched you?

A bat touched you? A bat touched me when I was walking, I was walking home very late, and it like flew out of the tree and kind of like flapped, flapped next to my head. Are you kidding me? Did it touch you? Kiss from a bat. Was it like, or was it a bat's wind? Was it a bat's wind?

I think he was like a little gust on my hair from the bat. So it was just the bat's wind. He didn't touch. He didn't bite me or scratch me. But I've been receiving a lot of health. health advice. It's everywhere, by the way. You don't need to.

Yeah. I surely told you guys about when we went to the Gold Coast, when we went to movie World Hollywood on the Gold Coast earlier this year. And so when we drove up and we were staying in different places and somewhere up there, we were in a hotel. It was like an 80s kind of resort, you know. And as we were walking down between the blocks of rooms and the pool and stuff like that there's like a bunch of palm trees there's a rustling and a bat comes flying

down out of the tree hits my leg and falls on the ground next to me and i went uh and it flapped around of it it dazed and then just got up and and flapped off and we all went what all the bats are laughing they absolutely our bats are so silly they're silly guys fruit bats are silly little guys. They are silly little guys with their silly little diseases. Oh, and their little sounds, their little chirps. Oh, them eating a little fruit with their tiny little. Oh, they eat their little fruit.

A little deaf hands? They've got, they have the same face shape as Lou, which I really like. I look at them and I'm like, that's a friendly creature. That's a little. That's a friend. And then if you touch them, they will bite you and bite you again. Yes. Because they are afraid of you.

Maybe. It's a bad city out here. It's bad city. It is bad city. It's bad city. forget it dick it's bat city as a further complication the staff saying the man did not give the wildlife department

or the hospital his full name and instead provided the hospital with a fake phone number you guys got some freaks out there what are you fucking doing man you've done every step of this wrong all of it was wrong shouldn't have picked it up shouldn't have take it to that wildlife center shouldn't have taken it there while they were closed shouldn't have taken it to school camp gotten to the end of all this and being like you know what I'm right to be paranoid because look what

it happened to me. Yeah. Just doing a series of the fucking... Look at what the government did to me. Doing a series of the dumbest fucking moves for many sequential hours and at the end getting asked to your number and saying I wasn't born yesterday. You're not going to get me this time.

I'm like a ghost in the wind. The hospital. With rabies. They only learned his real name when a family member called the CNC the next day. man Uncle Derek's being fucking weird again

Hey I just want to know what happened with Doug Shabrock yesterday Do you guys know why my uncle is foaming He's got any Is foaming uncle

Oh man Coming into Coming into the office Like how was your weekend Oh man We had to put our uncle down Yeah He started foaming

He lived a full life We gave him the best We gave him the best life What could I say He had a beautiful life He had a beautiful life, a lot of memories. Then he got rabies from a raccoon. We had to have him destroyed.

Do we get rabid from rabies? Like, do we go crazy? Do we become feral? I know we become hydrophobic. We do. Hydropobic and quite aggressive. Oh, it does make you like. It does make you aggressive.

Yeah, it does. Like, he was, he was comfortable. He was comfortable at the end. We all got to be there with him. We gave a mistake. He played his favorite rush record. Pat at his hand. And then we smashed his head in with a brick.

We actually, no, no, guys, we had a, we had a, we had a long time listener that got rabies. What?

You remember? Yeah, Rips. They lived a beautiful life. What can I say? No, and he had to get the shots. And,

and he said, um, yeah, like he was super afraid of water. And it was just like this bizarre thing that he had to go through. Um, and like, and like,

to go through, like for his personal journey. Yeah. I mean, look, if I, I, be kind of weird knowing this, right?

To be like, I have rabies and it's because of the rabies that I'm afraid of water. But it is also still, like, I can still appreciate that that's weird. Isn't that? It would be such a weird feeling to be like water. To have rabies? Yeah, it'd be so weird to have rabies. So weird to have rabies. So random.

Quote, while the finder's heart was in the right place, he put himself, his family, C&C staff, volunteers and visitors, the GWN transporter, the staff of Bell's Ferry, all at risk. And a raccoon as well, by the way, that just feels like a mean sentence. You don't have to list all the people. All the people. The school children.

Please take a minute, assess the situation before attempting to capture wildlife without direction. These guys are so mad. Just think about it for a second. They hate Doug Shamrock. They think he's stupid. And he might be. Doug Shamrock is a real stupid guy's name.

Well, I made it up. That's not really his name. Yeah. He is. Men's just created a universe. Used to all the listeners of this show. It's kind of world building. Yes.

And in this world, what's a normal amount of time to have sex for? 30 minutes. 30 minutes. Let's cap it out at 30. And it could be any number you imagine. Any number at all. Any number at all. Yeah.

I'm with you, Lucy. How about instead of a time you have to go until, what if we just set a hard limit on the most you can go? A time that it can't go past. Yes. There's a time that it can't go. go past where it's like neither of us is this isn't happening lights are going out point of diminishing returns yeah yes it absolutely is and my pee pee hurts it's sore penis hort raw like hamburgers ex did you guys hear about the guy that was the uh i think it might

have happened a couple of months ago but i only made it into the news like last week who's the first recorded death from tick induced meat allergy oh yeah oh yeah Oh, I was reading about that. Did they die of eating meat that they were allergic to? Well, it makes you allergic, well, some tick bites make you allergic to all red meat. And he had like, they just didn't know what it was. They didn't know that that's, it happened to one time. It would be an odd thing to try and track down, like narrowed down, right?

Especially if you eat red meat for every meal because you're a red-blooded American. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, he ate like a hamburger or a steak or something and then died, died overnight. Dead from Hamburg? Exploded from Hamburger. The most American death.

Hey, this was definitely an episode of the podcast, Bonta Vista. That's right. Thank you so much for joining us. I hope you have a great day or that your day was great, depending on which day part you've listened to this in. I hope you cleaned the house or did the dishes or something. Had sex for a normal amount of time. Yeah.

The length of an episode of Buntar Vista. oh he's wrapping it up we're just gonna do I say music some music on sort of music kind of like what if I put some audio on don't do that please don't do that

don't have sex unless you're like really good looking and then I'd like to know that I was a part of it somehow but if you're our guys don't bother Lucy's about to go to the music festival for 40 year olds

which is very exciting it's for 30 year olds it's not for 30 year olds who are the headline Lucy Which one? Tool and Weezer. Yeah. No, that's for 40 year olds.

That's for 40 year old. That's for big brothers. I'm sorry. Yeah, that's big. You're going to the Big Brother Festival. You're going to the older brother at first of all. I am going to go to the other festival. Oh my God.

If you want to find a cool lady who's sort of guy coded because of her older brother, you've got to go to good things. Yeah. Yes, she'll be single. If you see Lucy at Good Things because you somehow have listed this before it. Leave her. alone. Okay, it's hot. You can say, I'm very friendly.

I'm very friendly. She's not really, you're friendly, is she. Is that like outside of this? All right. That's our record that's about enough. You walk up eventually. Like after a couple of years of podcasting with you, really, you open up quite a lot. Yeah, we're learning several things about you.

Yeah, you learn I had a brother like three weeks ago and you really. It informs everything about you. It kind of does. Yeah. Well, we'll talk to you maybe on the bonus episode. Hopefully, if not, on the free episode next week. Bye. Bye.

May. I ain't no perfect man. I'm trying to do the best that I can with what it is I have. I ain't no perfect man. I'm trying to do the best that I can with what it is I have. Put my heart's song to the song. Yes, yes. I hope you feel me.

From where I am and wherever you are. I mean that's in Sydney.