Boonta Vista - EPISODE 428: Cum Ass Beer Pump

Episode Date: January 11, 2026

Lucy, Theo, Andrew, and Ben bring you: Our annual Dutch New Years roundup, a shoe filled with mystery, misreading the cues in a cuck or hotwife situation, a perfectly understandable horse sedative mistake, and seeing the world in numbers but failing to understand them. *** Outro: A Boat to Drown In - METZ *** Support our show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista *** Email the show at [e-mail]! Call in and leave us a question or a message on 1800-317-515 to be answered on the show! *** Twitter: twitter.com/boontavista Website: boontavista.com Twitch: twitch.tv/boontavista

Remember podcasting? Hey, if we don't, now we will soon because here's episode 428 of Bonta Vista. Hello. I'm Theo.

Welcome to another year of Bonte Vista. I'm feeling good. I am, of course, a huge nasty rat. Let's see. I got two little pink ears. So I got that going for me.

I got a kind of white body with brown splotches. And it goes without saying, I'm heaven, just a huge nut sack around. Yeah. Just one more important thing about me, I think. I actually live inside of an early career Ben Folds's piano while he's sort of work and everything out. So that's nice, you know. Yeah, there it is.

Oh, my God. G, isn't it? I'm also here with Ben, who's also a huge, dusty rat, beautiful pink ears. Tremendous Nutsack and he's just hauling that thing around all day. How are you, Ben? I'm really good. Thank you. Oh, I guess he's playing that song again.

That one's never going to take off. This guy's going to die out of obscurity. Also with us is Lucy. Beautiful rat. A little pink nose. Very adorable. Where's my nut-s- She's just dragging this nutsack around.

I don't want to be like in a smurf-fant situation. You wouldn't believe someone should build her a little wheelchair for that thing and then post it on TikTok. It's Lucy. How are you? Welcome to Ben Fonsa's piano where we live. What is, you have a beautiful brain. I'll say that much.

Just a lot of things you wouldn't think would come together. And yet here they are in Ben Fonzer's. Folds piano. Now it's hard because it's only a two octave piano, so I kind of have to put my bass note above the treble note. You didn't have to do anything. Did you learn this yesterday? You just trying to get that out.

It's the early weeks of 2026. Time to learn brick by Benfolds. Time to learn Benfolds on the piano. And finally with us, as always, is Andrew. And you better believe that nutsack is. fucking huge. One different thing about Andrew is he's also

covered with very contagious lice which are all over his nut sack and they're biting his nutsack and leaving little red welts on it. How are you man? I'm right, my nuts feel awful. You're not Andrew, sorry. Yeah, he's the other one. I'm all fucking, I'm all mixed up, mother goose.

It's all mixed up. Yeah. It's even worse that there's a bend behind a bloody keyboard. That's true. My nuts feel pretty bad, but I am just having a little chat or a little, hey, have you got a minute to come into my office with each tick? Just to say, hey, don't bite that guy at the keyboard. I got a good feeling about him. I think he's going to make it.

I think he's going to go viral on YouTube. I think he's going to figure out this song. I think he's eventually going to get it, even though we've all been sitting down here for seven months as he's continued writing his song. Hey, the thing about Ben Folds is not. very good at piano. That's not true. I don't have any opinions on Benfold. I don't have any Benfold. Is he bad? Should we be mean about Benfolds? No, I don't think. Well, he lives on the show. He probably, he probably sang the song with the N-word for too long, I'd say. Probably not too long, singing bitches ain't shit. We can all agree with that. Oh, yeah. It's,

it's the irony of like a nerdy white guy. Of a nerd on a piano, yeah. That's kind of. That was all we had for culture for a while. Can I ask this question in two parts? Hold on just before that. Ben Holds five ex-wives. That's how you know he's a good guy. That's what the band is named after. Hey, can I tell you two things I'm feeling about the inside of this piano right now. One, didn't know I had five ex-wives. That's super weird. Two, that's so many. There's a lot of lice in here and I'm getting very itchy. I was wondering whether you guys want to jet real quick I know that there's

it's actually Tom York's piano he's trying to work out something over there should we um these things hey ticks get him all right off where you go yeah Tom York's piano

that's really awesome these songs being worked out I think are probably taking place in quite different time frames to be honest And I don't think they're near each other, the pianos. I think they're really far away from each other. Why would they be?

I don't think like Tom York and Bedfolds were in a sharehouse together. In 1997, in a wee work. Rats are, rats now they got, we hopped on, all right, how's this for dietic? We hopped on a fucking, we hopped on a boat because that's what rats do now. They're global rats. And there's nothing inherently bad about a rat. Can we just... No, they're doing their best.

Oh, all being nasty. They're actually very clean. They're actually smarter than dogs. They hop on a boat. That boat takes a little while getting over to Oxford. You know? From L.A. Seen.

There's a piano in a bedroom next to another bedroom that has a piano. Ben Fold yells out. I'm working on a hit song. about abortion. Tom York yells out, I'm working on a hit song about being weird. Yeah. And a little bit later, magic happens. Yeah. Could you imagine? It's about abortion? Yeah, it's about it's about taking his, it's about taking his girlfriend to get an abortion day after Christmas. Yeah, so that was, and how it's kind of a bummer for him. Okay. So you've picked the song that's about abortion and you've decided to add the giant nut sacks to the rats for

what reason. It's funny. She'd done rock in the suburbs. Yeah. She'd have rock at the suburbs. Why did music have to become so serious? It can be silly. Give me seven weeks to be bad at rock in the suburbs and I'll come back. You want to be back

in Benfeld's piano in seven weeks from now in an intro? Huge nut sack. I feel like we live here. Very itchy. We don't live anywhere else. We don't know where that share house that both Benfolds and Tom York lived in simultaneously while we're writing their songs.

It could well have been in the Netherlands. It's time for Dutch Watch. Help me, buddy. I'm from Holland. Isn't that beer? All right, this is our annual roundup of the New Year's Eve carnage

in the Netherlands. I've done this as a series of just sort of paragraphs I've pulled from different articles to give you the flavor of what's going on. First up from the NL Times, the number of cars and homes catching fire during this New Year's New Year festivities has far outstripped last year's figures according to the Public Safety Institute, NIPB.

We're on the up. Oh, we're hoping things were getting better. I thought we were cutting this down. Well, this is the last year for legal fireworks, so you know that we're going to go out with the bang. Oh, so you know you're going to go crazy with it. That's stupid. You can't let loose.

Yeah, I see what you mean, Ben. Go out with the bang? Oh, like fireworks. Yeah, I guess that's true. This year, the emergency services were called. called out to 361 car and 228 home fires compared with 270 and 144, respectively, in 2025. So many cars. The National Fire Brigade set on Thursday.

It had been a busy year with 4,286 callouts in total. The emergency services were prepared for a difficult evening, given this was the last time consumers can legally set off fireworks. This is my prediction for next year. It's not going to change next year. The legality of the fireworks isn't going to change shit. No, not at all. That's my feeling.

It's from Dutchnews. NL. Police arrested some 250 people during what officers described as a violent New Year's Eve marked by widespread disorder targeted attacks on emergency workers and a sharp rise in fires

and emergency calls. Hey, you leave widespread disorder out of this. Some of us are doing our best. It's kind of beautiful how life never changes, you know? It feels like things are changing so much but some things just stay the same every year. The sun still comes up in the morning,

sunrise, sunset. and in between some Dutch people have fewer fingers than they started off with. Shoot fireworks at emergency service workers. Yeah. It's nice to be tethered to the seasons to have this sort of cyclical nature of life, these cycles of death and rebirth. Hospital, burnt down, rebuilt, burnt down again, rebuilt. There's nothing certain in this life but death taxes and, yeah, Dutch news.

Bywork amputations. Holiday arson. I think the planet, the planet. The planet has gone around the sun, completed another whole revolution of that big fiery ball up in the sky. And what better way to celebrate it than a cleansing fire of your own. Yes. You know? We're all just star stuff.

It's true. Yeah. We're all in the gutter. I just wanted everybody to know that. But we're all made of star stuff. We're all made of star stuff. Yeah. My God.

It's full of gutters. The impact of powerful fireworks was quite outright devastating in some point. places and officers, quote, have seen and experienced horrific things, acting police, Chief Willem Paulson said. This is from Dutch News.netl again. Runded them Specialist Eye Hospital reports a particularly large number of young patients this year with one doctor saying 85% of the patients were minors, most were watching fireworks when they were injured.

Oh. I can definitely see a correlation there. Like, you're trying to draw some sort of line between watching fireworks and having fireworks in your eyes? You could say I'm drawing a line between the firework and the eye and saying that if one of those is pointed at the other thing, more likely to get injured by. Okay, well, I mean, we don't know that it's that way around.

Fireworks might not go off if they're not watched. That's true. Yeah. We'll just have to find a way to observe it without changing it. Yeah. That's right. We're a science podcast. We're so smart.

In Namakon, a 17-year-old youngster was killed in an accident involving fireworks shortly after midnight, but the police have yet to release further details. in Asmere, a 38-year-old man was killed in a firework accident, which is still also being investigated. A dead man was also found on a Rotterdam Street shortly before 4 a.m. The road was closed for a time while police investigated the circumstances of his death, and they now say he may have been run over. That is so grim.

This is like dead bodies on the streets. Yeah. Woo, happy new year. But it's cultural. To them, it's normal. It's not weird. Yeah. We shouldn't make judgments.

And it's accepting that we're all. all mortal. Yes. It's just part of the cycle. You could be lying down on a road on New Year's Eve and get run over by a car at literally any time. Yes. Except while.

Yes. So use your time wisely on this earth. Take that trip. Send that text. Use the good olive oil. Cross the border to Belgium. I think when the police find the car that ran the guy over, they turn it over to the public burn that car.

Yes. This one, you got the green light. Yeah. This car's no good. All your fireworks in here. This car should be parished. A naughty car. If you're telling us to do it, we're not going to do it.

A 32-year-old man and a 29-year-old woman from Germany were arrested at a party center. Good. In Befahkwijk for firing guns into the air shortly after midnight. Yeah. That's what Germans, I know I've mentioned. I have talked about this before. Four or five times. Four or six, ten times before on the podcast.

But that's what Germans do on you. It's because they're so uptight the rest of the time. Yeah, and they are fucking running around fire guns into the air. That is 100% something that occurred with my own eyes. Where did the guns come from? I don't know. I assumed that they were just pop guns or the blank guns, right? Like there can't be bullets coming out of these, right?

I don't know. They just say guns. Who knows? In Armour's foot, the police were pelted with fireworks when they wanted to prevent a pile of Christmas trees being set on fire. It must protect the Christmas trees at all costs. In Breda, several cars were set on fire by youths

who threw fireworks and paving stones at police. There were also confrontations between the police and youngsters in several places in the Hague and Rusendal. The number were arrested. There were also clashes in the Amsterdam district of Floridorp, where locals are... Beautiful name. The beautiful name for a girl.

Floridorp. And this is my daughter, Flora Dorp. Floridorp, where locals are unhappy that their traditional Christmas tree bonfire has been banned. This is from the Edel Times. Dutch authorities are considering stronger measures for future New Year celebrations after widespread violence and attacks on emergency workers in the Hague firefighters on Shependrief were belted with... Hey, if you guys do this 10 or 15 more years in a row, we're going to have to start thinking about some changes of things around here.

were pelted with fireworks while trying to extinguish a burning car in Alphen Andin Rhein A vehicle caught fire after running over fireworks triggering airbags and shutting off the fuel system leaving the car stranded among rioters A skill issue This is This is

I know every year we're astounded by this It's like Carbageddon It's like are you fucking kidding Like running over explosive objects And for a lot of these people it's like Carmageddon on foot It's crazy out there I ought to be a pedestrian in Carmageddon. That's basically a worst case outcome.

Firework bombs, including Cobra fireworks, targeted two offers in a surveillance car. The cobra fireworks? The cobra. Police face staff shortages and an 80-150 million euro budget deficit. Gert Verrink, chief of the Ooste-Neederland Police Unit, told the telegraph that enforcement must improve, including experiments with water cannons equipped with tear gas, larger pepper spray canisters and dye marking to identify riders afterwards. I'm wondering whether maybe take the fireworks.

I mean, you're doing that. Maybe see how that pans out. Take the fireworks away. Yeah. It also seems insane to like have the band starting next year. Why did you do that? Because they wanted to like. Get it all out of the system, right?

Yeah. The one more year to go absolutely crazy. Otherwise they've gone or they've already gone and bought the fireworks. They'll be sitting on them. What are you going to do? Like just. Don't sit on it. Don't sit on it first and foremost.

We've learned anything. Gert warned that premeditated violence involved even 14 and 15-year-olds and that a total fireworks ban would not immediately restore order. I'm thinking there may be some societal things going on here, potentially, perhaps maybe. Yeah, because there's other places that need to be addressed. There's other places you can get fireworks on New Year's Eve that aren't doing this. I'd say don't let perfect be the end. enemy of good, you know?

Yeah, start. Start with the ban. Don't just be like... You don't have to go cold turkey on it. Just cut down on what you're setting on fire. This is from Dutchnews.NL. A quote, Criminal Network is behind the organized fireworks attacks on police.

Firefighters and emergency services on New Year's Eve. National Police Chief Janney Njol said on television talk show, Power Enderite. That would be smart if you wanted to set a bunch of fireworks. off at cops. Just do it that night, you know. Yeah. Yeah.

Just be like, oh, I'm a reveller. I'm a regular. I'm moving. I'm having some marijuana and some alcohol. Get them. I love. Ord langs. Have you guys ever been in a New Year's Eve situation where someone has

started singing old langside? Oh, yeah. What's really? Trying to get it going like a slow clap, you know? You've never been. Looking around. desperately. Yeah, like trying to rev the crowd up.

Okay, so apparently there's three people here who have, who have never been in a sad Irish pub at 1201 a.m. Okay, I guess not. Why the fuck would I do that? Which one? O'Malley's, Gilhoolies. I mean, it could. It's definitely either O'Malley's or Gilhullies.

Let's. Callahan's. No. Patties. McGinnis's? I just don't, I can't imagine being in a group of people that imagine everyone take it up. I also don't think anyone knows any of the words past

be forgot. And never brought to mind. Should old acquaintance be forgot. And something something for old days on. New Year's Eve. It's time to drink a beer. Yeah. Got it.

In Floridorp, in Amsterdam, nude, police were peltsden with fireworks shot from a device resembling a machine gun. Oh my God. Yeah. You got hit with the Vulcan, with the Firework Vulcan? Are they like, firework gun? Are they repurposing one of those, um, the Nerf cannons?

Yeah, you guys seen the, like, just firing fireworks out of them? Full of buggers. Up cycling, it's called. Yeah, yeah. For this, were bought for this purpose. Noel told the program. So premeditated. Premeditated.

Premeditated. Firework machine gun. How can you prove that they were. made for that purpose. Like they bought them for New Year's Eve, for Revelling. Living for New Year's Eve. No arrests have been made for the attack in Florida Dorp and the investigation

is ongoing, she said. Quote, we want a complete case. We're not only looking for the culprits themselves, but those who are involved in the background. To me, this is a criminal network. What do you mean? There's like a bunch of mob bosses being like, fire your fireworks. Were they legal up until like now?

It depends on the township. Nationally, yes, but like local councils could make rulings on it. But heavy fireworks were banned, and that was always the problem. Nobody's, and nobody's certainly driving far enough in Europe? To get into another jurisdiction? That might take minutes. You'd get to the border, right?

And they'd stop you? Like on the highway, you'd come to a complete stop and they'd say, hey, hey, I'm not letting you into Belgium because you look kind of like fireworks, curious. I mean, you can ban the fireworks, but, like, I feel like it's probably already illegal to set fire to cars and ambulances. No, they don't have that one on the books. It's very old-timey country. Strange old-timey.

No laws that mention the automobile. Don't set fire to an ambulance. You can't burn down a bicycle, though, and they have tried to prosecute from the grounds for the car. It's just two bicycles. A group commander from Utrecht, who was also a guest on the show, said he and his team had been ambushed when their van was forced to stop by a car blocking their way near a school.

God damn it. Quote, a group of around 30 or 40 youngsters were waiting there. throwing fireworks at us. We were lucky it was legal fireworks, so things could have ended very differently, he said. Don't worry, don't worry. They're legal. These are straight legal.

Right, is also torched cars, pelting the firefighters, called to the scene with fireworks. Of course, they did. I know we comment on it every year. Every year. But like you said, Ben, it's crazy how different some cultures are

because I feel like specifically the attacking firefighters and EMT things, just seems like a real no-no. That seems like a real crossbound. I just kind of frown upon that. I kind of like firefighters and paramedics. I don't know if I'm like a fascist for saying that. I don't have any gripes.

I like the other one though. Do their firefighters have guns on the power of arrest, perhaps? Hey, say it with me. State having a monopoly on violence? Boo! Boo! State having a monopoly on whatever the opposite of violence is? Might be pretty good, I don't know.

Having a monopoly on healing. A monopoly on kindness. Yeah. Hey, if you were driving past a school on New Year's Eve and you saw an empty car roll in front of the roadway blocking you so you were forced to stop, you would maybe think that was a bad sign. We talk about bad signs in omens and importance.

You shall see hail fall from a clear sky and burn his fire upon the ground. You shall see darkness cover each other when the sun climbs high to noon. And you shall know that God is God. And bow down to his will. This was sent into us by listener Preston. Thank you, Preston. Can I tell you guys a little sidebar?

An anecdote? An anecdote, sort of, from my own life. So this, Preston has been listening to the show for quite a while. him in the show for quite a while because he has a somewhat distinctive name. I was like, damn, that's a cool name. And then I googled him to look him up because I sometimes do that when people subscribe to the show. I'm like, what's your life like? Who are you? And he's not, he is not, it is a distinctive first name, last name, combo, but he's not the only person with that name. And for about a year, I was following like a junior cast member of Hamilton who shared the same

name for no reason whatsoever on Instagram instead of the right one. Thinking, hey, that cast member from Hamilton listens to our show. He listens to Bud of Vista, isn't that fucking crazy? Better not say any shit about Hamilton anyway. Yeah, but yeah, this guy, not a cast member in Hamilton. This is from K-O-N-P in Washington. The comp. Shoe with human remains found on Port Williams Beach.

Oh, yeah. This is like a, you guys know about that beach. that's in like Newfoundland, I think, where they always get the shoes. Makes you old? That's right. That's all the same one. The boots that makes you shoe? You guys heard about this?

You've seen this? It's the shoes with feet in them that wash up on the one beach in Newfoundland. What are you talking about? Newfoundland. Shoe Beach. With feet in? Newfoundland Shoe Beach. Newfoundland Shoe Beach with feet in.

Shoes. The beach that turned you and was shoe. Beach. With feet in. Okay, it's not Newfoundland. Oh, it's actually nearish to this. Oh, okay. No, it's in Washington, sorry, on the Salish Coast.

But yeah, there's... Okay, so it's in Washington and Canada. So we're further from where we started. Wait. The Washington Beach that turns you into a shoe with feet in? It doesn't turn you into one. It's just they turn up there. The feet are old? And the shoes turn up and they've got feet in them.

Yes. And since they started to... tracking it on the Wikipedia page. Whose feet? From August 20th, 2007 to roughly now-ish, they have recorded 25 sneakers with feet in them turning up on the beach. What do you mean? This should be global news. What's the question?

This should be global news every day. Andrew already knew about it. 25 shoes with feet in. With feet in, yeah, on the beach. And this story is. not like that. And there's at least a 26th to show up. This story unrelated, put it out of your mind. Well, no, it's similar, but it's not the same. On December 10th at approximately... So we're not talking about that or fighting out of it. That's it. I've told you the stuff about it.

It's a bit of the coast where feet in a shoe wash up on the beach. And they're old. The feet are old. The feet are old. The shoes as well. It's not new shoes. On December 10th at approximately 826, 8.28. I am a Squim resident called 911 to report discovering a shoe containing what appeared to be human remains on the beach at Marley Nelson County County County Park at Port Williams in Squim. Hello, Squim resident here. A Clallum County Sheriff's Deputy responded and confirmed the presence of bones and soft tissue inside the shoe. The shoe was... So people go in the ocean, right, and they break down and obviously there's no... They break down, that's true.

Cotton or anything I do. or anything like holding the jeans to their, like the foot comes off basically with the shoe on it. It's not supposed to. After they die, I think, right? I don't know if the foot would go. I think unlike most other clothes, the shoe would stay on. Yeah, the shoe is held tight.

Yeah. Held to the foot somehow. Yeah, they're sort of traveling through this crazy world. Usually velcro, yeah. Possibly just elastic sort of bands. at the side, maybe a zipper. Although if you were wearing, if you were wearing like a thong or a burkenstock, maybe a crock that's not in sport mode,

I think that would come off. And then the news item would just be foot found. And that's not as interesting. That's not as interesting to anyone, yeah. And if anything else, I would think that that's going to get nibbled away by the fishies. Well, yeah, so the shoe is protecting the foot. Foot skeleton found. Yeah.

Foot, comma, shoe as one unit found on beach. Yes. Mystery baffles podcasters. Grizzly new balance discovered. The shoe was located roughly... Nike Air Max. Like the Air Force One found something wet inside. The shoe was located roughly 50 feet north of the Port Williams Beach boat launch near the ebbing tide line.

No additional suspicious items or evidence were found in the surrounding area. The shoe is described as a white Puma sneaker marked with green and blue sharpy style coloring across the exterior. Sizing information printed on the interior list, the shoe is European size 35.5, U.S. size 4C, and 22 centimeters in length, which generally corresponds to a U.S. women's size 5 to 5.5. Fuck.

This could have belonged to a teen. Now, there has been an update to that story. Shoe found near Squim contained bare tissue. What? On Thursday, December 11th, the Clallum County Sheriff's Office received confirmation from the Clallum County. coroner's office that the bone and tissue discovered inside a shoe found on the beach at

Marley Nelson County Park, Port Williams near Squam, did not belong to a human. Forensic testing conducted by the King County Medical Examiner's office determined that the material was of bare origin and no human biological matter was present. That brings us with two really important things to discuss. Number one, merial. Mimereal. That's certainly true. Mimarial conditions. You're here and get more and more, which is one time. Number two, I assumed, Ben, that where this was going to go was there's a foot in this thing with like a bear tooth lodged in it.

That's what I thought. You know, what I saw the headline. You say, how, some bear material. Instead, it is. It is raising the tantalizing prospect of a bear wearing sneakers. Oh, absolutely. That a bear has, like, killed someone in a national past. Petit.

Feminine bear? Puma shoes. Everybody holds still. Everybody holds still. There's a bear over there. A bear's foot inside a libotton? Pumas with Sharpie on the outside? Quick, go into the ocean.

This just seems suspicious because all those other human feet came up last time. And now the game has changed. We're doing a little different. I was just learning the rules to the game two minutes ago. You changed the fucking rules on me already. It is unknown how barebone and tissue came to be located inside the shoe that washed ashore. I'll give you that. You're not...

I don't blame me for not knowing that. Yeah. I don't know how you would ascertain that. I wouldn't have any theories either. If you had an answer, I would expect you to have some pre-existing footage, some recorded history of a bear. This might be the fucking the skeg bear from the circus that escaped.

I would expect you to have several depictions of the bear in shoes, possibly hooping. Yes. Yes. Or writing little unicycle. Yep. I'd like to see pictures of the bear hooping. Pictures of the bear crouched over

at the starting line of a race perhaps some type of relay. Yes. A team of bears, maybe. I'd have to see the bear standing on the machine that tells you what's up with your foot at athlete's foot while a 14 year old says,

yeah, you're going to want to get these ones. Yeah. Says here you've got barefoot. No additional related items have been located. There is no further information at this time. Okay, except the mystery. But if you do find anything, please let us know. I am interested.

I'd like to get notifications on what's happening with this. This has got to be like a prank. What else could it be? Someone stuffed a bunch of bare meat into a shoe. Yeah. Because the shoe thing keeps happening. Yeah. No, I know what it is.

Fuck. Okay. You know, in those cold. steel videos where they demonstrate how easily a dikatata can go through raw pork stuffed into a combat boot. Someone's stuffing children's shoes

with bear meat so they can trust, so they can test their dikatanas, and they've lost one overboard. I think you do raise the tantalizing prospect, Ben, which is that what if the cold steel guys, and check it out on YouTube, if you haven't, obviously,

what if the cold steel guys started dressing up the full like pork carcasses that they're taking a halberd to, you know? What if you put an Adelaz track suit on that thing? Yes. This is what it would be like if you use this halberd on the Croatian mafia. Yes, bum bag around the waist, you know? Now, very important, he's squatting, so we have to aim lower.

Yes. If you are going to watch the cold steel videos, you've got to watch the early stuff. You want to get in there, sort their videos in chronological order from early. to latest. You want a sort of adorable kind of... Lucy. This is this dude stuff. You've watched Cold Steel with us.

What's Cold Steel? It's the dudes that are wearing like office space era, like office garb using katanas to cut. They sell weapons and they demonstrate them in YouTube. It also refers to the sharpest instrument of war you could possibly imagine. That's Cold Steel, baby. Yes. Yeah.

Okay. Hey, if you were the King County Medical Examiner's Office, and you saw this, you would maybe ask somebody else for advice. We have someone that you could ask for advice, and her name is Dr. Lucy. We talk to her in paging Dr. Lucy. If you find that you are having a little relationship trouble, just to pick up your telephone and dive it on the double, you call 1-800-317-515, now you're pageing Dr.Code and see.

This comes to us from slash hot wife advice. Has a third ever disrespected you to the point that your wife had to step in to set him straight? You don't really want that, do you? Hey, hey, leave Craig alone. Oh, that's too much. He's doing his best. Dick's not that small.

It's not like it's small, okay. If it's small, it's not like, it's not like comical. It's not useless. We have three kids. He'll come. You're just rushing him. Ben, I have sorted the cold steel videos by oldest to newest. And in the 17 years ago batch, there's clips of...

20 years of cold steel. There's clips of where cold steel blades have been featured in Hollywood motion pictures. Oh, shit. There is a cold steel knife in total recall. There is a cold steel knife, a cold steel tanto in Universal Soldier. Oh, my God. Is it safe to be doing this? And there is a cold steel knife in face off.

That's fucking awesome. I do some cold steel trivia. I did not know. I didn't realize these guys were like in Hollywood. I didn't realize they were like the glitterati. That's really beautiful. Blade Smiths to the stairs. Some thirds get confused with the whole cuck slash hot wife lifestyle.

Yeah. Some think it's the same thing. It's very straightforward from what we've covered. I think it's complex, right? Hot wife and cuck not entirely the same, right? Yeah. Some think it's the same thing and end up disrespecting and belittling the husband in front of him and his wife. Yeah.

I had a couple vent to me where their prior third would make fun of the husband's manhood and saying how he could never satisfy his wife with that thing. The wife stepped in to protect her husband and basically kicked him out only to never contact him again. Oh, well, that's just a misunderstanding. That's classic cuck stuff. You thought it was cuck, but it's hot wife. Yeah, you thought you were coming into a cuck situation as hot life. But you didn't have this discussion before you end.

And Mama Bear's got her claws out. Oh, you better believe it. This would be the first thing you'd talk about. Isn't this how you got connected in the first place? Yeah. You didn't have like a conversation. Like, what are we into? You've invited this guy in because you're like, hey, my wife is crazy hot and it would be so hot if you fucked her while I watched.

Or guys gone, please my wife. Oh, no. Fuck my wife, please. I'm a little worm. The guy is talking like and looks like Woody Allen the whole time. Oh, geez. But, but very importantly, his wife is not his daughter. Yes.

Crucial difference. Let's just put that. This is not hypothetical. This person is morally better than Woody Allen like most people. Yeah. Before you start wondering. That right there is true love and a true queen to her ken. I am very respectful when it comes to couples

and it is my honour that a man would let me have fun with his wife. You sound a little too respectful for this lifestyle to be honest. I almost always encourage the husband to join since after all this is for his pleasure as well. Okay. I love this guy. Important distinction. The Honourable Hot Wifing husband?

Yeah. Who's just like, hey, thank you for letting me into your home and for letting me into your wife. Shall we join? Hey, you want to hop in there as well? Hey little buddy, want to toss around the pigskin? I'm seeing a lot of distance between you and your wife right now, buddy. Hold me in.

Come on. It's like where they, it's like where for the last song of the act, musicians let crowd members up onto the stage. Like, no, no, no. Stay in here. Enjoy it. Come on up here. Come on up here. You only get this.

Hey, maybe sometimes you do rock up to a hot wife situation thinking it's a cuck situation and start ripping into someone's penis. but we all make mistakes. We talk about mistakes in Poebody's Nerfect. Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick. Poe bodies nerve-ficked. No, no.

Poe-bodies nerve-thex. No. Oopsie, daisy. Yeah, poe body's nerve. No. Can I just admit to a quick, per body's nerficked right up front. Sure. New Year, New Year, New Year. New Me.

A lot of people may listen to us every week. They listen to me specifically and think, wow, that guy has it all together. But I don't. I don't always have it all together. I went to movie world on the Gold Coast yesterday. I was going to ask you about it. I knew you wanted to talk about it. I knew you wanted to talk about it.

Of course we all know the Scooby-Doo spooky coaster reopened after massive renovations rave reviews. He didn't write it. I didn't get to ride it. Let's put a huge hog onto Scooby-Doo. That's it. Scooby-Doo's back and he's hanging down. Everything else about the ride exactly the same.

Oh, but the artist just wanted to get it right. The work of a month from this. Shipping it out like Michelangelo. Everyone's like, did you notice anything different? You did notice, but you can't say it. You can't put your finger on it. Maybe. You're in the line and people are coming out of the X are going,

the veins impeccable. Yeah. Yeah, 70 minute wait time all day long. That's pretty much. It's a spooky coaster like it. It's a spooky coaster. Also, we should do it together. We should do it together.

Absolutely, as a team. If it was just me or if it was me with you guys, I would have waited the 70 minutes. No, no doubt whatsoever. We could have posted up. I was with my kids, the sport, the family, etc. Didn't get there.

Spooky coaster is not for a chill. Oh, you went with a kid. I thought you went alone. I thought you just had a little... I was... I would like to go solo one day to movie world. But my beautiful... My sister and her beautiful family are here.

They're staying with us. They're like, hey, we want to go to movie world. What am I going to do? I'm not going to go to movie world? Movie World on the Gold Coast? Go on the DC Rivals Hypercoaster? That one was too scary for me. That's too fucking scary.

They made it too scary. I don't know how you're doing this. Because it's great. I'd go on that again. It's a good... It's a good hot. a little impure. They kind of got some little,

they've got some compressed air acceleration halfway along because they haven't, you know. I never used that stuff in Roller Coaster Tycoon. You've got to, I think it's sort of... Right, Mr. Coaster. It just makes, I think, I think a less pure sort of situation, right?

But it's still good. It's very, very scary. We have already had some initial trip reports coming to us about the new coaster. dear friend of the show, Kara, went on opening day because that is how she lives her life. And apparently, it's not all working yet. Like, they've opened it, but there's a bunch of stuff

they haven't got going. I think she was saying that, like, the smoke field areas weren't done yet and stuff, which, to my recollection is, like, some of the cool parts. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. It's like smoke and lasers and you're in there and you don't know where you are. Oh, the vortex. And Velma comes out.

Ooh. This comes to us from horse and a hound. Yard owner warns others after accidentally ingesting a sedative she was giving to a horse. I think people pay a lot of money for that. This is actually like classic gags. And this is also like a specific subgenre of news story. But when I do see this news story, it's usually someone going to the media and saying, hey, I got contacted by a person who said that I needed to immediately give them all of my money and I did.

And it turned out I wasn't meant to do that. And I'm issuing a public warning to help others so it doesn't happen to them. And you hear that story and you go, that wasn't going to happen to me. That just happened to you. You don't have to act. You think it's not going to happen to you. It seems like a massive face saving maneuver so people to go to the news and say, actually, this isn't embarrassing.

You're transmuting the shame into something else. Yes, to an act of public service, and that's what this feels like to me to say, hey, just a heads up, actually don't take the horse medicine. I got to tell you. I got to tell you, I haven't heard the details of the story yet,

and I'm sure we'll get to them in good time as soon as it's ready. Sorry, Ben. The other day, I was being very responsible because I've had some problems. I've got new meds. It's whole, very complicated for me to keep track of. And so I laid them all out on the kitchen,

on the bathroom bench in the morning. I've got the stuff that I take in the morning, the long, the long acting stuff. And then I've got some top ups I take in the, in the afternoon. And then I proceeded to take every single one of the things laid out on the bathroom bench, including the top up meds for the afternoon.

Like all in one go? All in one go. Because I was just thinking about dying or something at the moment at the time. 9.30 reps around. I am going to have a heart attack. So it could happen, it could happen to, like, any of us, just like the smartest people out there. Well, in fairness, all of those tablets were for you

and none were for a horse. None had been prescribed to a horse. No, but I'm just saying it's very easy to forget what you're doing and take horse meds, probably. I probably should not be managing horse med doses. It doesn't sound like you should be managing your own doses. Well, what are you going to do? You're going to come around and pop those tablets in my mouth at the correct times?

Please. Please. Please. Please. The only medication I take on a daily basis is like. We, dude. Hell yeah. Yeah.

And it's natural. It's from Gaia. It comes from the earth. Well, now that you guys have all said that immediately in response to. Oh, no. Well, it makes the second half of what I was going to say, sound pretty obvious, which is that

the only things I take are like, I think for heartburn and what's the other one? And just like a hay fever, just a fucking antihistamine, you know? And I cannot for the life of me. I will take some,

I even put them in one of the little pill catty things so I can go, cool, I just take them until they're out of the combo and then fill them back up. But I will take them and then several hours later, I'm looking at the container and I'm like,

did I take them? Did I take them? No fucking idea. It's probably because of all of that sweet, sweet Mother Nature's medicine. Look, I'm not taking, don't blame the weed. Don't blame the weed. It's not the weed's fault. It's not your fault.

It's not your fault. I've got the same problem and I am sober. So, whatever. It could just be. Your brain is bad. A Manchester-based livery yard owner has issued a stark warning to horse owners to be mindful when they administer sedatives after she experienced severe side effects from accidentally ingesting one herself.

All right. Are these oral? Are you giving the horse a tablet? You're saying oral or oral? Oral. Oral? Oral? I would have thought it would be like...

Oral? Oral? Are you putting it in its ear or mouth? That's what I'm asking. Is it a tablet? It's mouth style. It is not a tablet. It's not rectal.

Solve my riddle. Jody Hayward fainted and had to spend most of a day at hospital after she ingested some of the prescription sedative containing Asapromazine, ACP, that she was giving to horses in preparation

for a firework display on a nearby property on Saturday the 8th of my world. She's becoming the horses. Becoming herself too. Whoa, hey, shh.

It's going to be all right. Timbuktu. Yeah, I also accidentally took some Saturday. No, this is a different thing. Asapromazine, I think, is not like a fun horse tranquilizer.

I don't know. I haven't tried all the horse tranquilizers there are. This is a tranquilizer, tranquilizer. You guys, I don't know, we're all sort of of like the same age. Remember when like people taking horse tranquilizers recreationally was sort of like a thing you would say as a joke. And now all the zoomers are doing ketamine. They're all doing it. They love ketamine. They love it. Oh my God, they're crazy about ketamine. And they're not drinking. Jody, who has eight horses in her care, told H&H, she started sedating them at about 5 p.m. quote, I was sedating them one by one, she said.

I know it says that you should use gloves and it says on the packaging to be careful, but I've done it so many times, we all have, that I didn't use them. I was pulling the top from the syringe with my teeth as I was holding the horse. And I was holding the cap in my teeth and replacing it before moving on to the next one. I felt something on my nose and top lip, but I didn't think anything of it. Is this like when... I get this is relatable, actually. Yeah.

When my recently deceased cat had gabapentin described to her, so what it does is. It's sort of like a paste. Meow? So when she had a gabapentin so that we could like get her to the vet and do things to her and have her be chill and I was like, I wonder what, what about those gabapentin's are like? Yeah, I've had a few of them sitting in my drawer.

I'm like, what would happen? And my vet nurse friend was like, well, it would work, but she's, so much smaller than you that you'd kind of need to take all of them for like anything to happen. And I said, boring, you know. Yeah. While she was sedating the horses, some of the sedative also transferred to her coat, then her face and into her mouth. Quote, I remember thinking, oh, that didn't taste good, but thought no more of it until a bit later. When I started to feel a bit weird on the yard, she said.

So you know how cats are much smaller than Andrew? I assume that a horse is much larger. And this lady. Cat is to horse. His horse is to Andrew. No, Andrew is to horse as cat is to... To Andrew. Yes.

Yeah. Jody added that she had had a long day picking up a pony and in her haste to get back to the yard in good time before the firework display and not eaten properly. Even though a pony's small, it's still probably heavy. That's right. It's very funny to do this and also be like, And I was on an empty stomach.

Like, lady, you had a mouth full of horse tranquilizer. A poor tranquilizer. Yeah, there's really stack. Really stacking up. I drank a lot of water. Yeah. Yeah. A lot of stress at the moment.

Finances, the news. I should have eaten a bagel. There was a bank holiday last week, so my schedule's been all out of whack. Yeah. And I'm an ADHD girlie. Yes. Once the firework display was over, she went into the house and, quote, passed out fully clothed.

Yeah. Her husband knowing nothing. of what had happened on the yard, assume Jody was tired and left her to sleep. That's nice. So it's like 9 o'clock at night and she's asleep on the couch. I'm not going to be like, oh my God, you're dying. I thought it said on the ground, okay. Oh, actually, I don't know.

It doesn't say if it was on the crowd, that's a shit, shit husband. Oh, just leave her there. She's happy enough. Don't want to disturb her. When she woke, it was clear something was wrong. Quote, I was awake, but I felt like I was pinned to the bed. I couldn't move, she said. Sleep paralysis is demon.

Have you looked around for a sleep paralysis? Yeah, maybe in the shape of a horse. Then I began shaking uncontrollably. I was struggling to breathe and started being sick. I thought I was going to die. That sounds really unpleasant. I have a real phobia of doctors and of hospitals. I hate hospitals and I was hallucinating.

Mad things were going through my mind. Like if I rang for an ambulance, I'd be run over on the drive and the A&E would be full of people with their gruesome injuries from firework accidents. It was bizarre. I was petrified. And on top of that, I kept worrying about the horses. You're seeing like Boschian visions of hell because you were using your mouth

to hold the cap of horse tranquilizer and you didn't wear gloves. Is this doing that to the horses? Are the horses seeing these things? Horses are also imagining that they're... Are the horses witnessing horrors? Is this what you're... Yeah, are they experienced?

But they're so placid that they don't show it on their face or as internally. I saw a fire on the Western Rich. It ate all my eggs. I'm going to switch him to ketamine. This sounds bad. That sounds really fucking bad. You're not supposed to give this substance to stallions,

which you'd like to know why? Yes. Because of the risk of paraphymosis and preapism. It'll give them a giant boner and shrink their foreskin. Yeah, so that it's trapped in there. It really hurts. Would it do that to a man? Would it do that to a human being with a penis?

Well, it doesn't actually say horse. It just says stallions. So, Ben, you might be at risk. Oh, come on now. Stop, Ben. Come on now. Eventually, realized that she would be unable to do the horses the following morning. Jodie allowed her husband to take her to the hospital.

Okay, that seems good. If only for the horses. Tomorrow, very well, take me into the emergency room. She remained under observation for the rest of Sunday until her vital statistics returned to normal. Jody wanted to warn other riders of the dangers of ignoring the insurmount. instructions on a drugs packaging. I bet she was under observation.

Everyone's watching to see what this lady who took a bunch of horse tranquilizers is going to do next. It's really funny that like the general warning you're putting out is just to follow the directions on stuff that you buy. Yeah. I mean, yeah. It might say warning in big letters, but I mean it. Look at that and read it. I keep, we have to drain our sink quite often because the way that the dishwasher drains, it like just coats our sink. drain with fat and disgusting products.

So we have to drain her quite often. I will never use gloves while drano. I will always get a little painful spots on my hand for the next few hours. There's a solvable problem. That's it easily sold. You're insane for this one. I don't even know if I've got gloves. I fear the draino.

Oh, yeah, you should absolutely fear the draeno. You know how plumbers say that you shouldn't use dreno, like plumbers hate draeno. Right. Do you guys? I hate the fat bird. in my pipe. I do the baking soda vinegar thing, right? That works okay.

That sounds natural. Quote, countless horse owners have done it. I've accidentally taken in some worm. Sorry, I've accidentally taken in some warmer before too, but it was really frightening and I really want others to learn from it and be aware and not end up the same as me, she said. Fight a bunch of worms out of her ass at mark three. Yeah, that's probably what happened.

The tablet that gives you worms. No, it gets rid of a worm. So she said she already had worms that accidentally took horseworm coincidentally. Lucky she took it. Yeah, but hey, sometimes luck is just a numbers game. We talk about numbers in numbers watch. This comes to us from Press Agency UPI. Number Obsessed Marilyn Woman wins $50,000 lottery prize.

That's not going to do anything for our numbers obsession. Numbers obsessed. That's an interesting. It sounds like a euphemism. A number-obsessed Marilyn woman said her fixation on digits led her to winning a $50,000 top prize from a bonus match five lottery drawing. The Baltimore County woman told Marilyn lottery officials she takes special note of number combinations she sees every day. Quote, I see numbers everywhere, the player said. Numbers by themselves, series of them, everywhere I look.

There are a lot of numbers about it. If you're into numbers, the world is your buffet, I think. two, seven, 35. 54. Like they're everywhere. Yeah. I just think if you have a beautiful mind madness

and then you use your numbers to. And they work? Use your numbers and it works and you get a windfall from it. It's going to make you feel insane. Oh man. Oh my God. Unfortunately the numbers are so validated. You're like doing pie.

You're looking at spirals in cups of coffee and the patterns of leaves in the wind and you're like, 11, 12, 40, 16, 17. You should take all this to the casino. Fibonacci. Lateralis. You've got a special power. A roulette table.

Pick one number. Yeah, we've got to get her into tool. Holden ratio. The woman said she frequently studies combinations of winning lottery numbers and uses them to play bonus match five. Oh, you're just stupid. Not all how statistics works. You're just stupid.

You're just stupid. You think you know numbers? You think you understand numbers. You stupid. God, the number 11 is in there constantly. If anybody on the show does understand numbers, particularly as it pertains to the lottery, would I be correct in assuming that, like,

you would probably have a similar chance of winning with numbers that won previously as also just guessing. It's completely independent event every time. It's so good to frame this as like a beautiful mind, like woman sees numbers everywhere. I'd be like, well, 14 seems to. to come up an awful lot. Yeah.

Like if there were, if there were things that, like, statistically came out of the lottery that wasn't just a process of random variables. Well, they'd have to fix that. Then... They'd have to do something.

Some... It would be immediately apparent to two people. Yes. Because you know all the numbers. Yeah. One, nine, five, 48,

23. There's a lot of... move is not to play. Yes, unless you win, in which case the winning move was to have bought a ticket. Lucy, I don't know if you've witnessed this before, but Graham has a system for winning the lottery that he's been practicing for years. Graham is always talking about buying lottery tickets, and this again is our 50-year-old friend from the bar.

How's his system going? Hasn't paid out yet, but it's pretty good because it's the same thing where you look at it, but you're like, this guy's crazy. He's just writing down series of numbers. He must be a genius. And then you ask him what his system is, and he looks at winning lottery numbers. And he goes, well, there were this many numbers between 1 and 10, this many between 20 and 30 or whatever.

So I'm going to pick numbers that have a similar distribution to that, and that will help me win the lottery. And he does this by hand on a piece of paper at the bar most days. It's so good. And like, I just love the juxtaposition between seeing this from the outside and then talking to him and realizing he's the most enumerate person. stupidest thing I've ever heard in my life. You're basically, you think you figured out the pokey's.

Like, this one's going to pay out now. I've got a system. This one's hot. I think my grandma, God rest her soul, she's up in heaven with sweet Lord Jesus now. She had a system, which I think is a little more valid, and I respect a bit more, which is she would buy lot of tickets and scratchies and stuff.

And her system was, hey, got to be in it to win it. Yeah. By purchasing a ticket, she has enabled the possibility of winning. Yes. You miss 100% of the shots you don't take. The more of them you purchase. The less money you have.

But the more that you get when you win. And it's more, no, it's more likely that you win. I think the chances of you are winning the lottery, winning like a power ball draw and not winning it at all, are probably about the same whether you buy a ticket or not. Yeah, it turns of rounding error kind of thing at that point. Yeah, yeah.

But to her credit, if you buy one, you can technically win the lottery. All these scams are so good. It's like, hey, give us your money and we will put it all together in a ball, and we will take some of it. Let's be clear about that. And then the rest

we're going to give to one person. Yeah. Pretty cool. It is pretty cool, because then you get to get like a jet Yeah, and the company gets to have a very definite way of giving out less money than they took in. Yeah, what you don't want a desk? That's a pretty cool system, yeah. Yeah. Quote, for some reason, the numbers and combinations that come to me have worked best with bonus match five, so that's what I play, she said.

You know what the reason is? No fucking reason. No reason. It's chance, lady. Random chance. She bought a ticket for the December 23rd bonus match. 5 drawing at Compass Beer Pump on Compass Road in Middle River. Okay.

Compass beer pump. Compass beer pump. Compass beer pump. It's coming out of their mouth wrong. It doesn't feel good. I don't know about this. Come house beer pump more like. Come up.

Yeah. Pumpus cum beer. Compass cumbus. Pumpus cumbi. I'm actually not getting anything for compass beer pumpus beer pump. on like maps or anything what are we doing here I'm looking for compass beer pump

it doesn't exist I'm sure that there are two people out there a beautiful minding about the lottery and who have won before as well and been encouraged by that I am one of my one of my arties

on my dad's side I'm going to say used to win heaps of shit from You know, they used to do the competitions in like grocery stores and stuff where it was like you can just tear a little entry form out of the supermarket aisle, post a thing in, you know, except now everything is you've got to enter on your phone. You've got to go to a web site. And she used to just enter every single one of those things that she ever saw. Absolutely. She won heaps of stuff.

That's a smart. That's a smart move. Because some of them, nobody's going to do, right? Yeah, the pool of entrance is going to be so much smaller. I got two of them. I bought my PlayStation 4 because I won a survey that the building services was doing at my last place of work. And I assumed that nobody else did it. They emailed like everybody in the building.

I'm like, fuck yeah, that's PlayStation 4 money. That's free money in the back. That's free money, baby. And this is, I'm getting paid to fill this out too because this is on the clock. So it's a win. I think, yeah, there's got to. be two people out there doing it. One who has like played a whole much stuff and won sometimes and is saying, I will continue to play the same numbers or play them more because there's, there's

positive correlation there. And another one who's winning and going cross those numbers out and I'm not going to play those numbers again because they've already won. They've already won. They're not fair if they won again. It would be not fair if they won again. Yeah, and they're both right in the sense that it makes no difference to what you're doing. Yeah. It's all stupid. But if you buy lottery tickets, that's That's fine. I think we can all agree the smart move is to buy one lottery ticket a month with the same numbers every month of your life.

And then what if? Then what if? What if? No, I think the smart move is to be Adam Sandlering from Punch Drunk Love. Oh, you've got to find a prize that is better than it's worth the cost of. That's a guaranteed return. If you really knew numbers, you'd be Adam Sandling. You want to try that?

Adam Sandler. Adam Sandlering. Good news for you guys. Beer pump, wine and spirits on Compass Road in Middle River, Maryland is LGBTQ plus friendly. That is good to know. Flag that on their Google Maps there. That's quite nice. Yeah, yeah.

There's a lot of hate going on at the moment. Yes. Yeah. Finally, a bottle shop that says, get on in here. I don't care what your pronouns are. We will sell you beer. We'll sell you lose. Quote, I said to myself, it finally worked, the winner recalled.

I've won plenty of times these last years, but this is my biggest ever. So the system's working. Great. Well done. And how much have you spent on it? How much of you spent? I reckon she spent less than 50 large. Being very sanctimonious here.

We're being nice this year, remember? We're choosing kindness. I'm choosing kindness. Lucy, I think the question you meant to ask was, how much have you invested? Yeah. How much did you enjoy spending it, though? You remember that as well? What about the co-author?

of joy. Yes. That's what we're talking about. This year. Hey, this was definitely an episode of the podcast, Punta Vista. Thank you so much for joining us. If you want more of these, we got bonus episodes. While we were taking our little break from the free episodes, we were still putting out, or we took one week off for the bonus episodes.

But there's an extra episode there that you could have had if you were part of this. You can still have it if you go on paper. It's still there. There's fucking hundred. All of them. There are so many hours. You can make yourself so mentally strange. Yes.

Alienate your friends and your family. Check those out if you like. That's patreon.com slash Buena Vista. We will talk to you maybe sooner, but maybe next week. Stay safer. I've got to get out of here and go see James Cameron's avatar fire and ash. Hell yeah. Get out of here.

I don't know how it is. Bye. Bye. Bye. Thank you.