Boonta Vista - EPISODE 43: Turdy Newspolls

Episode Date: April 16, 2018

Andrew, Lucy & Theo are delving into the Prime Minister's unfortunate polling which seems to be account of him being a shitful turd. We also delve into both the running of the PM's office and why it doesn't matter if the entire party is bereft of a cohesive thought. Support the show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista Merchandise now available: http://boontavista.com/merchandise _____________________________ Twitter: twitter.com/boontavista iTunes: tinyurl.com/y8d5aenm Stitcher: www.stitcher.com/s?fid=144888&refid=stpr Pocket Casts: pca.st/SPZB RSS: tinyurl.com/kq84ddb

Welcome to Puntaavista Socialist Club, episode 43. And as we all know, the number 43 has some real significance, just like in that book, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Am I right, Theo? I think so. That's it. You're among friends here. Yep. Yep. Lucy agrees. Lucy agrees, I'm sure. What do I agree with? I missed that. Oh, um. I'll just say yes. Just yeah, that's the way. Just while Ben is not with us, he is currently in Japan. But while he's not here and cannot dispute this, I'll just say that Ben tole that. the number 43 is the the the the the the their. the the the the the th. the th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. We will will will will will will th. We're all all all all all. We're all. We're all all. We're all. We're all all. We're all. We're all all. We're all all. We're all. We're all. the the the the the the th, I'll just say that Ben told me that.

Ben told me that the number 43 is the answer to all the stuff from the Book for Nerds. He did do that. Ben did say that directly. Told us all in the group chat. Sounded very confident. Yep. Very confident. And here we are, here we are back on the show. We wanted to talk today, I don't have a little chat about something that's kind of been simmering away on the old back burner of Australian politics, but we haven't really spoken about it too much,

but it finally happened. We should probably have a quick chat about it, and that is, of course, the notorious 30th shitty news poll for Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull. Woo! Wooo! Congratulations, Malcolm. Congratulations, Malcolm. Finally hit a milestone, you know? Yeah, he's done something.

Good on him. I feel like we should give some context to this for any international listeners. As they may or may not know, current very shitty Conservative Prime Minister, Malcolm Turnbull, deposed former very shitty Conservative Prime Minister Tony Abbott, who was, I want to say, like, two years into his term. I think it was like one year, 11 months. Yeah, one year and change. I, I feel like, I feel like, thi thi thi th th th th th th th term think it's like one year 11 months. Yeah one year and change I I feel like it was it was like he was you know not not really halfway through his first term and Yeah, things were not going well to say the least. They'd been going consistently very very badly. It's almost as though if you just lie the whole time you're campaigning about all the

amazing things that you're going to do for people when you get into power. And then the absolute instant you are elected, you immediately turn around and say, ah, all that stuff I said, mm-mm, off the table. And then just spend the next two years turning the big dial titled racism and staring at the camera. Yep, yep. Just standing in front of cameras and just pulling sandwiches out of the moubles and just pulling sandwiches out of the mouths of homeless people, toss them in the dumpsters. Just a real, real bad look on all tons, um the tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tip tip the tip th. th. th. the th. Um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, th. So, t. So, th. So, th. So, t. So, t. So, t. So, t. So, t. So, tut, tut, tut, tut, tut, tut, tut, tut, the the tun''-a, the tol of homeless people, toss them in the dumpsters.

Just a real bad look on all kinds of fronts. So the news poll, of course, is a political polling service run by News Corp, who you may know from such things as Fox News, and the Australian newspaper, and Sky News, and a whole much much other big shitty turds. The Daily Telegraph, all the bad ones, all your favorite bad tabloids and it gets published through the Australian news poll I'm pretty sure that's how it works. I was kind of wondering to myself is that why like conservatives take news polls more seriously than other kinds of polling? It's like they're invested in it now it's like well we've been printing this this this th this th th this th th th th th th th th th th th th in th in th in polls more seriously than other kinds of polling? It's like they're invested in it now and it's like, well, we've been printing this so long.

Yeah, yeah. We have to believe in this now. Well, I mean, if it's a, if it's a company that's owned by Rupertock that's doing the polling, then it's a bit hard for them to turn around and say, ah, that's just a thi th.. thi thi thi thi thr-a that's a thr-a, thr-a, thr-a, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, thi, thi, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. Well, th. Well, oh, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Well, th. th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. th. th. thi, thin, thin, thi, thi, thi, thi, th th thr. to, to, to, th to, to, thin, th th thin, th th thin, th th thin, thin, thin, th that's just another leftist propaganda outfit. Seems like an oversight on their part that they haven't managed to keep this in check, but you know. Yeah. So when Malcolm Turnbull came out and gave his, uh, gave his notorious speech in which he explained his reasoning for his challenge to Tony Abbott's leadership in the party room.

Because that's something you can do here. You can just roll up on him and go, I reckon I could do it better. What do you think, guys? And if most of the party room goes, yeah, all right, then you're the leader now. You're the Prime Minister. You're the captain. If only we could do that with American presidents, Am I right now? There's almost no way to discuss anything like American and political now that doesn't just end in going. I like that we used to talk about it. And now it's just gotten so insane that we can't even touch it. Because it's not funny. It's not funny. It's like. It's not funny. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It. It. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho th. the th. the the we used to talk about it. And now it's just gotten so insane that we can't even touch it. Because it's not funny. It's not funny.

It's like it's gone through the looking glass. It's come around the other side to being so funny that it's just boring. Yeah, it's also almost impossible to comment on in any kind of like news cycle relevant way. Oh, it's too fast. Yeah. Way too fast. So, so anyway, Malcolm Turnbull, he came out and he gave his speech about all the reasons that he thought that Tony Abbott, he just wasn't cutting the mustard, wasn't getting it done.

And the infamous thing that he cited was the fact that uh... tony abbot had lost thirty news polls in a row to uh... labor leader bill shortum or at least now it was the two-party preferred wasn't it because shortons never in front as the preferred leader is yeah i think the best he's ever done is like equaled somebody who was doing their absolute worst. But I got the snippet of it here for you folks if you would like to hear it immortalized in the very man's own words. Here we go. The one thing that is clear about our current situation is the trajectory.

We have lost 30 news polls in a row. It is clear that the people have made up their mind about Mr. Abbott's leadership. That worked out, that worked out well. Yeah, I love it when I draw a big target and I stick it to somebody. But then I immediately stand in front of it. Yeah. It's really good. It's really good. There's no way that that could ever happen to him. Not me. Yeah.

I just love that of all the sort of, I guess, intangible measures of politics, of all the reasoning that you could have used to say, like Tony Abbott, there's any number of things you could have cited and just said, look, this guy's just lurching from disaster to disaster from gaff to gaff. You could have stood there and rattled off a list of 20 hyper-specific things that Abbott had done that no one who isn't him could ever accidentally repeat. But instead, he just chose a very specific metric of like a measurement that is applied to everyone,

everyone in the party. And then said, the leader is responsible for it. And now I will be the leader, and it will never happen again. Smart move from, of course, the smartest man in politics, as we all know. Now time to take a big sip from my cup the smartest man in politics as we all know. Now time to take a big sip from my cup that says bad Prime Minister and check the news poll results. Yeah, number two Prime Minister says. Oh man, he sucks so much. Like I just, I cannot ever get away from the idea that he's probably somehow going to manage

to go down in history as a worse leader than Tony Abbott. And that is mind-boggling to me. Yeah, he genuinely is worse. Like in the same way that, you know how people, more coming back to the American stuff, you know how people are like being kind of forced to look at George Bush Jr. with kind of rose-colored glasses now and go, I long for the days of that like, you know, mildly challenged man, just wandering around smiling and kind of offending people and starting wars, but it all looks pretty nice now

by comparison and somehow Turnbull has managed to do that to himself He's managed to make himself that kind of comparison and I didn't think it would be done. It's impressive. Yeah, like we said, you set a goal for himself and he reached it recently. He did. So, you know, there was some good lead up to this, whereas the press started to count off like 27 news polls in a row, 28 news polls in a row, and people were just badgering him about it and he was starting to throw a little hissy fits at press conferences, get really pissy about it, which is good. They opted when the 30th news poll actually happened, instead of just kind of saying, like, oh, we'll do some,

like, you know, press releases and announce some stuff and otherwise keep quiet and that sort of thing. Instead, they apparently thought that the better move to do would be to get all of his major allies out into the press, his major allies within the party out into the press, loudly declaring that it wasn't that he'd lost 30 newsfalls in a row and that they totally still backed him and they weren't going to change leaders which is of course what you always say when you're not thinking about changing leaders.

I find myself constantly talking about how'm not going to quit my job just before I quit my job. This in turn led to of course the reappearance of one of our favorites good old Barnaby Joyce. Yeah. As you may remember, as you may remember from a recent episode, Barnaby Joyce was pork in someone who was not his wife. It all got very, uh, very scandalous. What word would you use to describe it, Lucy? I would call it scandalous, salacious perhaps.

Mmm. Very excited. That was, that was, that was like a month and a half ago. It was. Not much has happened since then. Not much has happened, uh, but I think the Australian public is ready to forget, forgive, and possibly just take a nice sip and like swill around the mouth, see how the, uh, see how the words,, the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their thi thi thi thi thi that's, that's, that's, that's, that's that's that's that was, that was, that was, thirty, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, th.. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that, that, that, that, that, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, th sip and like swill around the mouth, see how the uh, see how the words Prime Minister Barnaby Joyce sort of taste on the back palate.

See how it's all going down. Yeah, um. And of course that was another situation that was handled spectacularly badly by Malcolm Turnbull from a purely objective viewpoint. It's not like I wanted him to handle it well. But yeah, basically he thought that the best move would be to first declare that Barnaby Joyce had done absolutely nothing wrong and that he had given him all of his assurances that this totally wasn't taking place. And then to also pave the whole thing over by holding a press conference at which after Joyce had already admitted it, just to publicly castigate him and just to cuck him on the world stage, basically.

Wasn't that well received by Barnaby. Barnaby was not a fan of it. And so this week in the wake of the 30th news poll, Barnaby got out in the news and said, hey folks, you know what I think would be a great idea is if Malcolm Turnbull fucking quit because he's so bad at this job. Of course the way he phrased it was that Turnbull should do the honourable thing and resign. If he doesn't get better by Christmas. That's a rough one isn't it? I hope to get in a position in my life where the honourable thing is for me to quit my job.

I know right. You just be like done. Consider me honorable. You're gonna keep paying me every year though right? I'm like yeah yeah you keep getting money in the bank. Oh well. Yep see you'll get a great pension. It'd just be like yeah just a cartoon dust cloud behind me. Hmm. So we have here in this piece in the Sydney Morning Herald that Mr. Joyce said, quote, Malcolm's not a fool. Don't know about that. Don't know.

And knew that he would have to stand aside by the end of the year if the government did not stage a come back. Quote, we're stating here the bleeding obvious. Nobody wants to actually go to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to lose to lose to lose to lose to lose to lose to lose to lose the the the to lose the their their their their their their their their their the government did not stage a comeback. Quote, we're stating here the bleeding obvious. Nobody wants to actually go to a federal election, which you know you're going to lose, he said on Sky News. You have an obligation to all around you that if you honestly believe that is the case, then you must do something about it

and do the honorable thing and start grooming an alternative. It's a bad word grooming. It's a bad that's a bad word, bad word, bad word, bad word, bad word, bad word, bad word, th, bad word, th, bad word, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, tho, tho, tho, thi, thui, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, to to tho, to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the the the the the th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th be talking about waxing one of them or... Yeah, he's just doing a little bit of eyebrows. Yeah, a bit of eyebrow plucking. Just a bit of taint waxing going on that. Gotta be ready for the big chair. Quote, now we are a long, long way from that at the moment, but if I said, oh well, no no no no that's th th ththe truth, which Barnaby's big on, as we all know. The first thing you've got to be with the electorate is truthful.

I love a bad they are at all this. Like, um, I love that a couple of weeks ago when there was the big, like, cricket scandal. And like, Malcolm Turnbulls just completely overplayed his hand by coming out and being like, oh crickets bad because you guys are always sledging each other and being mean and everyone's like, fucking politicians. Good Lord. Mr. Joyce has supported Mr. Turnbull's leadership in public in recent weeks, but the pair of fallen out over the way the Nationals leader was driven out of his

job over his extreme horniness. While it is rare for a government to gain a boost in the polls from a federal budget Mr. Joyce named the May 8 economic statement as a key step towards improving the government's stocks. I think they've said that literally every year for the last three years are like oh yeah look oh, yeah, no, look, folks, things are, things are a bit iffy right now, but if you wait till you see this budget we've got coming, it's a fucking dozy. Just you wait. Just you wait to see which poor people we take money off this time. Oh my goodness. And he says that we're a long way away from, you know, having to make drastic changes and that sort sort sort sort sort sort sort thiii, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. And thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to that, but, but, but, but, but, if to th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the the the the thi. the the thi. the thi. thi. thi. that's thi, thi, make drastic changes and that sort of thing but it's almost election time so tick-to-talk tick-to-talk guys

it's like the music's playing and it's about to stop and they all got to try and get in that chair well of course we have our aspirants here cabinet ministers including foreign minister Julie Bishop the the energy minister Josh Fridenberg all backed Mr. Turnbull's leadership leadership amid the intense focus on the polls, but all have kept their leadership options open if there was a vacancy. What a fucking deep bench that is. Yeah.

Although, was it you who said something on Twitter about, you know, everybody laughed off Tony Abbot as being completely unelectable because he's such on Twitter about, you know, everybody laughed off Tony Abbott as being completely unelectable because he's such a fucking vile lizard of a man. And now they're all doomed to repeating that with people like Peter Dunn. And here we have Peter Dunton. Yeah, and I was ripping off that, that Bro-Pair tweet about, um, it's like, people are literally stupid enough to vote Donald Trump president, don't laugh him off, and he tweeted that in like 2013. God damn.

Oh, dear. Yeah, although I suppose when you, when you look at the actual polling numbers, there's like, um, there's sort of the, the preferred ratings, like, Julie Bishop's actually getting up there a bit. Like, she's not many points off Malcolm Turnbull in terms of preferred leadership status. And she hasn't really stood in any of like any heaving turds of her own making yet, so. So, that's true. Although, I think the general sort of consensus that I've seen about Julie Bishop is that, um, is that foreign minister is thi thi thi that that that that that thinininininininininininininin that foreign minister is that foreign minister is that foreign minister is that that foreign minister is that that that that that that that that that thin thi thi thi thi thi thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi thi thi thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's th points points points points points th points th points th points th points th points th points th points thi thi thi thi thi's the the the the the the the the thi's the the thi's thi's thi's not thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi consensus that I've seen about Julie Bishop is that is that foreign minister is like the prime plum job for that sort of stuff because you can

just go and do like diplomacy and go to events overseas and all you have to do is say like you know the polite pragmatic thing as we've seen about Australia's foreign policy and international relationships and all that sort of stuff. The shit we say on the world stage doesn't have to align to to to to to to to th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that tho the the the the the tho tho the tho the tho tho tho tho the thooo' is thooo' the thoo' thoo' tho' thoi tho' tho-in that that tho th polite pragmatic thing. As we've seen about Australia's foreign policy and international relationships and all that sort of stuff, the shit we say on the world stage doesn't have to align in any way, shape, or form with what we actually do domestically. Not even close when it comes to championing human rights and all that kind of shit.

But yeah, the main thing is that it means that as a politician, you effectively get to just kind of stay above the fray of domestic politics and shit that actually affects the lives of any of the people who might wind up casting a vote for your party. So yeah, you get to have the very, very visible role, but it's also rare that you're kind of held directly responsible for things going wrong on the world stage unless I suppose you have very personally contributed to a gaff or something like that. So it kind of gets to simultaneously be the high profile and under the radar role. So she's stuck with that for ages, but she also has a tendency to like fuck right up as soon as people are asking her about domestic stuff as well.

So still not a very deep bench. Asked on ABC TV last night if he would run if the leadership was vacant, Mr. Morrison said, quote, if an opportunity presented itself, yes. But not while Malcolm Turmbles the Prime Minister, because he's the right prime minister to lead our party. That's so convincing. That's absolutely convincing. When Miss Bishop was asked if she would run against Mr Turnbull, she told the 9 network, quote, I don't envisage those circumstances at all, which is a wonderfully subtle way if not saying yes or no.

Mr. Dutton said many MPs aspired to leadership and added, quote, I think opportunities can come, but for me, loyalty is important and I've made a virtue of that. Of course, there's no one that we associate with the word virtue more than the man who has really beefed up gulag apparatus in this country. So it's all looking up for Malcolm, it's all going really well. Well I mean, I see here Mark Latham says the prime minister is on a slow march to electoral defeat, and if someone would know I guess. If someone would recognize the signs, I suppose.

So I wanted to sort of lead him from that to this article, which was in the Australian. I do not remember the title of the article, nor who wrote it. Sorry to the person who put all the work into this extremely long piece. It's a very, very, fucking very long piece in the Australian, but also it's the Australian to fuck them. But it's very long read and it's kind of all over the shop. But there were kind of some little gems in there that I thought were very revealing in that they weren't what the article was about but but they were also very interesting to me

and what they were saying. So let me, if I may, work through some chunks of this with you guys. Now, the article, a good chunk of it at the start, the first third of it or whatever, concerns the principal private secretary to the Prime Minister, Sally Cray. And they talked a bit about, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, the, the, their, in, in, in, in their, in their, in their, in their, in their, in their, in, in their, in their, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in the principal private secretary to the prime minister, Sally Kray. And they talk a bit about, you know, her calling up, you know, different MPs and state ministers and stuff and tearing strips off them because they've like, you know, hung shit on Malcolm Terble in the press or something like that. You know, there's been more and more instances of like,

of like state ministers and stuff saying, he should just quit because he fucking sucks and he's like ruining the electoral chances for all the state liberal parties too, all're kind of get into her stories around her, you know, being abusive of people and that kind of stuff. Cray is known to regularly send messages on WhatsApp or send text to journalists complaining that they are not doing enough for Turnbull and letting his opponent off the hook. Cray is known in Canberra as the Prime Minister's de facto Chief of Staff, a kind of new Peter Kredlin.

Now, again for any international listeners, Peter Kredlin was former Prime Minister Tony Abbott's chief of staff. She was known to be the architect of his whole sort of incredibly negative attack dog style of campaigning. Three-word slogans, all that kind of stuff, which was, as we all know from history, was very effective while campaigning and utterly useless for governing. It did not work out very well. There are disagreements over whether or not Cray operates in the same fashion as Peter

Credlin did when she was Chief of Staff to Tony Abbott. Some say that Cray is kinder to MPs and staff. To be summoned to Credlin meant very bad news back in the Abbott day. But there seems no doubt that Cray is a central figure in the Turnbull regime just as Creddlund the Abbott team's Chief of Staff, from Drew Clark, the Greg Moriati to current incumbent Peter Wolcott, it is Cray who carries the political cards. But how competent has she been in guiding the Prime Minister on the political course he needed to go on? There's a common winge that Turnbull's officers loaded with liberals who live in the eastern suburbs of Sydney. People of Turnbull stocked to the types to know what hits people in the mortgage belt suburbs. Quote, we've sucked up to the public schools, given them a whole lot more money.

They're not going to vote for us, one minister says. We're trying to suck up to the renewable energy community. No one in pro-renewables is going to vote for us. We can't win with these positions politically. Now, I thou that th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th is around the point where this starts to get interesting because you know what these people are saying is these these are policies that we know people want but nobody wants them from our party. You know they they kind of go a bit further into it and say um Malcolm's office is very Sydney, Eastern Suburbs,

so of course they hear different things from what we're concerned about, which is energy prices and immigration. The biggest mistake he could make now, which Abbott made would be for his office to become paranoid. But if you change Sally out, how much difference would it make? Another minister says the underlying floor is the Turnbull just doesn't have political judgment.

Cray has been described as Malcolm's mood manager. It seems careful tactics are employed to work with a Prime Minister who can be difficult. Quote, he listens to fuck all people but he listens to her, one former staffer says. But another former staffer says, quote, I don't think it's a problem with Sally. I really don't. Yeah, she's tough, she's the enforcer and all that sort of stuff. You can't read through that how the news poll is the way that it is.

People had a perception when Turnbull came to power that they saw him as't the right thing for him to pursue. It would have blown up the party room. In the absence of that, it was like, what's the next big thing? And there was no next big thing. But a senior liberal source is more brutal. The real problem is that there isn't a political strategist in his office. Cray has become the strategist by default. So yeah, just coming back to that for a second, I just find it really interesting that, you know, as we said, when Turnbull first came out and gave that speech and gave his 30-news poll talk and everything, he talked about the approach that he wanted to take to governing and

he wanted to restore proper cabinet government, and he wanted to stop with the slogans and carefully explain things to the electorate and all that sort of stuff. And he th and he th and he th and he th and he th and he th and he th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the the the thea to the the thean to to to to to to to to to the the the the the. the the the. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the an the an the an the an thean. toean. toean. toooann'eann'eann'eann'auuuuiann'auiiiauuiauiauia. toeanananananan carefully explain things to the electorate and all that sort of stuff. And he had crazy approval ratings, didn't you? Yeah, and I remember at the time, I would say like 90% of pundits were going, you know, this is really positive work and that sort of thing, and I think I have to like credit Van Badham, unfortunately. She was screaming at the time, like, no, no, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th no, th no, th no, th no, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, to to thr-a, to to to to to to to thr-a, thr-s thiii, thr-s, thr-s, thi I think I have to like credit Van Batham unfortunately and she was screaming at the time like no no this is this is all none of this is going to come to pass he is an incredibly weak man he's a weak leader and he will immediately cave to the conservative elements in the party, which was exactly what happened.

Yep, and of course, you know, media cycles and the Australian political scene being what it is. I feel like most of the populace has just completely forgotten what he was like as a leader when he was leader of the opposition before he got rolled by Tony Abbott. Well that's where the optimism came from. Oh, sorry, I thought you meant, sorry, when he was leader of the opposition before he got rolled by Tony Abbott. Well that's where the optimism came from. Oh, sorry, I thought you meant when he was, sorry, when he was running previously on a position of renewable energy and actual like rational positions.

Yeah, I mean, that might be where some of the sort of the left-wing kind of idea of, I think the parallel to me is people who look at the idea that, you know, Trump will somehow get impeached or step down or whatever, and then they go, ah, well, at least like, Pence is, like, sensible and normal and understands the rules of engagement and all that sort of shit, even though he's not, he's a fucking psychopath. But that's not the point. It's still this idea to people, people who are like center left, that this person is a like less bad option. That this person at least, you know, has some, has some sort of ideas rooted in like contemporary moors or isn't going to drive the country off a cliff or whatever. Yeah, I think that's how like left-wing people people thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi to drive the country off a cliff or whatever.

Yeah, I think that's how like left-wing people looked at Turnbull, but as a leader he has always demonstrated like a phenomenal lack of judgment. Absolutely, but I think the thing that they, that is like super depressing in all of that is where they say, yeah, we put, you know, that we were seen to be spruking public schools and renewable energy and all this sort of stuff and it hasn't gotten us any votes, so why should we do it? And I hate it when I do good stuff

and nobody acknowledges me for it, so I just stop doing it as well. But like, it's like, but they're right though on a political level where pushing to the left is not going to get them any more votes, unfortunately. It's the right thing for them to do, right, and stop there in excruble, you know, crawl to the right. But all this. Except that that's not popular either.

Which part going, continuing to go right? Well I think that Tony Abbott's prime ministership already shows you that if somebody gets in and goes really hard right in terms of like hardcore anti-immigration, closed borders, cutting off and dismantling welfare everywhere, like all the stuff that he did about unemployment benefits and pensions and all the shit he was cutting off, education funding, all that sort of stuff. All that stuff theoretically should be right in the wheelhouse of very right-wing people who are all super about small government and lower taxes and all that sort of shit. But he was still hugely unpopular. And this is what I found really interesting in this piece. Like these people are saying, you know,

we're trying to suck up to these different communities and they're not going to vote for us. We can't win with these positions politically. And as another one says here, you know, people were excited about him because he was going to lead the way with, th, th, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th.e, theu.eu.ea.ea.ea.ea.e.e. And, th.euu. th going to lead the way with like same-sex marriage in the environment and stuff. But that would have blown up our own party room. So that person's not necessarily saying our voters won't vote for this. He's saying our own members of the party, our own like MPs and senators and stuff won't let us do that. Sure. They won't actually even let this stuff go through. Yeah, that's. Yeah. That's. That's that. That's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. that's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the their their their their their their their the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thi thi thi. thi. thea. thea.s.s.s.s.s.s.s.s.s.s.s.s.s.s.s.s.s. their their their their their their, our own like MPs and senators and stuff, won't let us do that. Sure, you know, and that's an interesting distinction. Yeah, that's an interesting distinction in the Australian model where the party room could just say, well, you're fucked. And that's it.

We're not doing that. And then when he says, in the absence of that, it was like, what's the next big thing? And there was no next big thing. And all of this just sort of paints this picture to you of them saying like, oh, OK, we can get a leader in who is more progressive and more popular with the electorate. But we will tie his hands and won't let him actually do any of the stuff that, you know, the crazy approval ratings he had when he came in. That those those those those those those those those those those th th th tho tho th tho th th tho tho th th tho tho th tho tho tho tho tho tho that tho that that thoes that thoes, it was that is that, it was thi. thi. thi. thi, and thi, and th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that was was was was was was was was, it was, it was, it was, it was th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that, it was that, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that know, the crazy approval ratings he had when he came in, that those people apparently would have pretty happily gone along with him doing. So what do we do instead? Oh, well, we could do any of this stuff, but even though we know that people want it, we know that they understand that like, other parties, like the Labor Party and the Greens are more known for doing those things. So if we do those things we won't get credit for

them and we won't convert voters so we won't do them. So what are we going to do? Oh we're kind of gonna do nothing. Like it just seems like this really strange weirdly open admission to me that they're just kind of this dead ship sailing along. Yeah, yeah. Um, and you know, somebody else goes on here to say, um, others argue that Cray is not as forceful or as full on as Tony Abbott's former chief of staff credulin, who of course came under such fire for being so dominant for allowing herself to be portrayed as the real power behind the throne. But then says one staffer, quote, what's the message from the government press offers? What is our message?

I couldn't even tell you. At least when Abbott was PM, we had an idea of what we stand for. Malcolm derides these three-word slogans, but they work. You have a discussion with any long-term coalition staffer and we don't know what we're fighting for. Which again just makes you go, that's probably not great if like all the people internal to your political party are just like, I wonder what it is that we're about. Yeah, well, Abbott already took good government starts today, so I've kind of fucked on that one. No, you can't insist that you're gonna start it after that. No, that's tomorrow.

It has not started yet though. I will say that you're gonna started after that. No, that's tomorrow. It has not started yet, though, I will say that. Yeah. Well, we're waiting. It could happen. I hate Malcolm Turnbull. It's nice to have goals. Oh, it's just, it's remarkable. And like, there's just another bit here that I think ties into what it is that people hate about him, Lucy. One vigorous defender of Turnbull and Cray is Workplace Minister Craig Laundy.

Laundee told the Australian that Turnbull and Cray simply had not had enough credit for the difficult policy areas they've been able to tackle at the end of last year, such as same-sex marriage. That went so well. Oh, and that was definitely them that did it. Yeah, great for everyone. And the national energy guarantee, through a divided party room. Quote, I don't think he gets the credit he deserves in steering issues through a party room with a variety of extremely strongly held views, Lundy said. Which just makes me go, yeah, why wouldn't he love to get credit for reaching these compromises that somehow

managed to be unattractive to every person concerned. I just feel like every part of like, every part of the same-sex postal survey thing, the same-sex marriage postal survey, it was like they just concocted this perfect bastard child of a policy that just made everyone in the country feel shit about it. It made people who wanted same-sex marriage feel shit because it made them, well I like it made queer people feel like they were having the rest of the country be asked whether they were worthy of equal rights which is literally

what was happening. It made people who supported the whole idea really discouraged because the whole thing was so fucking flaky that everyone was sure that they were going to turn around and just nullify the results anyway if it didn't come back to whether they want. Oh yeah, they really raised the tone of discourse there, didn't they? We all love discourse. Yeah, and then in the end the end the end the end the end the end the end the the the the the the the end the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the, tho, their the tone of discourse there, didn't they? About the discourse. We all love discourse. Yeah, and then in the end, all the people who support them still got to see this thing go up and get majority support and then they had to push through this thing that none of their own fucking voters wanted.

So it was yeah, it was just one of those like everyone's unhappy. It finally went through but nobody is ever going to give them credit for doing it because they did it the worst possible way and in the most ham-fisted and like reluctant way you could possibly do it. They'll give themselves credit. Oh he fucking has done so. Yeah Malcolm Turnbull is gonna be on his death bed like yeah I made same-sex marriage happen. That's the thing that I did. Yeah, yeah, they're on his death bed going, it's, I'm coming Jesus, it's me, patron, saint of the gays. But yeah, like it's um, it's very interesting, like just as an insight because again, it's kind of, it's not even what the article's about. The article is about the operations the operations the operations the operations operations the operations operations operations operations operations operations operations the operations operations operations operations operations the operations operations operations operations the operations operations operations the operations the operations the operations the operations the operations the operations the operations th of th of th of th of th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's thi. It's very th. It's very thi. It's very th. It's very thi. It's very thi. It's very thi. It's very th. It's very th of it's not even what the article is about. The article is about the operations of Turnbull's office and how people see

you know the roles that his secretary is is taking and all this different kind of stuff but it's just all these little quotes slipping through that just make me go like none of you know what you're doing that and I don't mean that in like just a general sort of government's a big joke all the time kind of way, but in a genuine like None of them even seem to have a concept of what it is that a conservative Ideology is meant to be presenting at this point in time Which really aligns with the external image that it gives off Like it's just so confused one of the things they keep coming back to is is is is, is, is, is, is, is, is th th th th th th, is th, is tho, is tho, is tho, is tho, tho, thi, thi, the thi, the the the the to, thea, thea, the-like, the the the-like, thi, thi, thi, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi, the the thi, the thi, the thi, thi, the thi, the the thi, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, toguui, te tean, tean, tean, thin, thin, thin, thin, thi, thin, thi, the external image that it gives off. Like it's just so confused. One of the things they keep coming back to is talking about like,

talking about how, you know, it does the story, the narrative just changes week on week on week on week. You can never just stick to a thing. There's no kind of vision or narrative or any of that sort of stuff, which... It's neither here nor there. But, um... I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi. thi. thi, which thi, which thi, which thi, which thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi vision or narrative or any of that sort of stuff which is neither here nor there but I will also read out this important next except because it's funny. The stories of the volcanic temper of Turnbull are many. One former minister who did not want to be named recalls Turnbull ringing him abusi, unimpressed by his alleged behavior and calling him a cunt before saying that both he and Lucy were very disappointed in him. We were. Titt. He is known to tell other staffers, I'm not listening to your fucking advice. This rules. Some of that behavior is described as quote Rudd-esque. I was going to say, yeah, did Rud get a job? yeah. Slip him in there. Well remember that was that whole weird thing

where he like told Rudd that he'd be to point him to the UN and everyone in the Liberal Party went what the fuck we're never going to do anything for Rod in our lives and he had to go oh sorry Kevin you can't have the the the post and then Kevin went fucking nuts. It's great stuff. Tony Abbott confirmed to the Australian the veracity of a reported incident in 2014 when Abbott was PM where on a plane flight back from the Australian's 50th anniversary celebrations Turnbull told Abbott that he was the most quote disloyal cunt he'd ever met. Abbott says the reports I read about that particular flight were accurate. Yes, it is accurate that you are a cunt. Yeah. But yes. Well, all right, further to the point,

Theo that you were making. So, you know, another respecteded MP a supporter says a lot of people underestimated the extent to which he's had to try and take the party with him Again, it's because your party's about fucking awful stuff You can't as a leader just say I'm heading in this direction same-sex marriage or republic. He had promised cabinet government. You can't criticize him for captain's picks and then say he consults too much There is some feeling that last year there. there. there. there. there. there has there has there has there has there has there has there has there has there has there has there has there has there has there has there has there has there has there has there has there has there has there has their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their th. th. thi. thi. thi. the. the. the. theat. theat. theat thea. thea. that theat. thea. thea. thea. the. say he consults too much. There is some feeling that last year there has been improvement in a policy sense but the political handling of issues has been abysmal. A quote his fundamental problem is political management. Basically a lot of Malcolm's policies are sound one senior liberal says. And then they talk about Gonsky and you know a lot of that kind of stuff getting Catholics out of joint. But yeah, like I said, just really struck by how

many notes there are in that thing of people just kind of saying like it just sounds like a party that is just collapsing in on itself. It's like Malcolm's trying to run like a high school model UN. Yeah. And everyone's just snuck off to run like a high school model UN. Yeah. And everyone's just snuck off to fuck around and he's just crying. Why won't you listen to me? It's because they don't speak you. But think about the people that are in that party, like, how the fuck are you

how the fuck are you supposed to do anything when you've got, like, you know, parachuted in nerds like James Patterson fucking IPA you got a whole bunch of like you know small L liberal libertarium private school stooges that they just air drop into the party then you've got you know you'd probably have some slightly more moderate-ish ones. Like, I mean, even Scott Morrison for all of his horrible shit that he did when he was immigration minister, the way he generally acts just sort of makes you go, oh, he's a relatively normal person, but just a cutthroat political operator, he will clearly do absolutely anything

to just advance his political career. And then you have all of the people like Erica Betts and like, you know, you're George Christensen and Corey Bernardi types and stuff who are just psychopathic right-wing nationalists who don't really care about advancing any kind of, you know, they know they're never going to be the leaders or anything. So they're just happy to hang out and just hold everything back. It's like how, what, what is the point of this party anymore? I genuinely do not understand.

But you know, we'll see what happens to old mate. I hope it all fucks up and I hope they're all very miserable forever until they die. Yep. I've been not far off. Yeah that's true. Luckily. I've been trying to find a letter from one of our listeners. I apologize to them because I cannot find it. I've looked a couple of times and I've given up. But basically what they asked is who who do do th. th. th. th to th to th th to th to th the th th to to the th the th to th th th th th th th th th th th to th th th th th th th th tho tho thu thu thi thi thi. I hope thi. I hope th. I hope th. I hope it all th. I hope it all th. I hope it all th. I hope it all th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the th. I the the the the the the the the the the the th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi thi thi to tho tho to thu. I'm tho tho tho tho tho tho thu. I'm tho tho tho tho thu. I tho the. I to them because I cannot find it. I've looked a couple of times and I've given up But basically what they asked is who who do any of us predict is going to be the leader after Malcolm Turnbull I do you guys want to take a crack? I don't know. That's all horrible or horrible options. Hmm well like the people that they were reading off before were in that Barnaby Joyce report, like they are sort of what's considered.

Well yeah, that's the funny thing is that people bandy him about like he's a genuine alternative, but like, uh, Julie Bishop's preferred leader rating is like 20-something percent, which which is, you know, 15 or 20 percent lower than Turnbull. Peter Dutton's on like nine. And that's after going up a couple of points. Like, he's clearly someone that people just find fucking detestable. Yeah, there's no one that's like outwoodly sort of popular, that's an option. Yeah, and I think they know that. I think they're really aware of that's like outwardly sort of popular that's an option. Yeah and I think they know that. I think they're really aware of that. The only person that I think remotely has a chance is Julie Bishop but I also think that she has, like she's clearly

someone who has played her cards like so carefully for so long because she's been like deputy leader for like several terms in a row, or like several different leaders in a row. She just... I don't think she wants it. She just transitions across it. No, I think it's more about like, like, like I think she would have a crack, but only in a scenario where she was convinced

that she was going to either get a clear run at like a whole term or to win an upcoming election. Oh, so she's being cockettish. Um, I was watching a sign felt last night where Kramer used the phrase, coquettish habadasha. It's stuck in my brain now. Wonderful words. Yeah.

So yeah, like, I think the issue for that party now is that they are in that window of being not that far out from an election, abysmally low rating, and so for any potential aspirants you find yourself in that position of, ah, well if I roll this person and take over the party and then lead the party to an election defeat, that defeat hangs on me as my failing. And they get the stinky aura of a loser. They get that bad fish smell. Like when you find a inflatable ball that's been in the backyard, like a rubber ball for 15 years and you squeeze some of the air out of it. Yeah, that just hangs around it for you.

I know that specifically, but I'll take your word for it. Well, very fishy, weirdly fishy. Any given rubber ball gets fishy. Yeah, so I think that Julie Bishop would not have a crack because I think that the party's electoral fortunes are probably pretty sealed at this point. Like they've lost, um, they've lost like all the state governments now haven't they? Except for is it just where is it just Sydney that's still got like Beragicilian in? I think so. Sounds about right. Gladys Berrigiclian. Is that how you say that?

Apparently. Okay. A lot of a lot of consonants in there. So yeah, like I really doubt that Julie Bishop would have a crack because it means that she'll probably lead them to defeat and everyone will be like, oh this bloody woman messed it up because that's the kind of thing their party would say. Yeah, they would. Yeah, and then the only other options are people like, fucking Josh Fridenberg and Scott Morrison. Scott Morrison is the only one that I think would remotely have a chance. I think he's... Yeah, I think Scott Morrison out of all of them is the only person I can actually see walking up to the microphone and not making a huge dick of himself at any given time. I think he's the only one that has found reasonable success as just like a retail politician, you know? Yeah, I think either way I think it's totally fucked and that's

good. I'll be happy to see him fucking keel over and be done with. Yep. That's why Mr. Billy Boye. Yep. Slow and steady wins the race. All dependable. He's going to be the old Stephen Bradbury of Prime Ministers, isn't he? For any non-Australian listeners out there, please just Google Stephen Bradbury Winter Olympics. Oh, it's such a wonderful scene. Watch a video of our Golden Sun. Just...

Pride of our nation. He just looks like such a dip shit too with his like bleach tips and everything. There should be statues of him, to be quite honest in every town. It's perfect. So folks, he was in the Winter Olympics, a speed skater, doing his, doing his laps in like fucking 8th or 9 ninth place or something. And there is a there's a fall up near the front which takes out like seven or eight people in front of him and he skates around them all and across the finish line.

Scoops up gold. Scoops up gold with this beautiful look of sheer surprise and jubilation on his face. Becoming a legend in the process. Yeah, if you want to see someone win the lottery in sheer surprise and jubilation on his face, becoming a legend in the process. Yeah, if you want to see someone win the lottery in real time, go and watch that video. Yeah, yeah. It's kind of like the whole, you know, sort of Eddie the Eagle kind of thing, but he actually got to win. It's beautiful. I love it. Great stuff. So we might, we might now just take it inside for a quick consult. Quick consult in a segment that we like to call Paging Dr. Lucy. It's still good. It's quality stuff folks.

Is this the first time we've had Paging Dr. Lucy on the main episodes? I think we had it once maybe? Maybe. Maybe. Maybe. It's still good. It's quality stuff, folks. Is this the first time we've had Paging Dr. Lucy on the main episodes? I think we had it once, maybe. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe. So this segment, folks, as we know, is where we delve into relationship and dick problems on Reddit. Lucy helps us answer them.

But I've not done my work, so... Paging Dr. And to be honest, it was thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe th. Maybe, maybe th. Maybe, maybe th. Maybe th. Maybe, maybe th. Maybe, maybe th. Maybe, maybe th. Maybe, maybe th. th. Maybe, maybe th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, maybe, maybe, maybe thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thea. thateau. thateau. thateau. thateau. thateau. thateau. thatea. that, we both had a bit of a comb today. And to be honest, it was pretty depressing. It was bleak today. It's pretty dour stuff. But here's just one, just one that I found. And it struck me just right. It hit me right in the right spot. And it's perfect. And I want to read it to you.

Although, I am going to do to do to do to do to do the to do to do to do to do the to do to do to do the to do to do to do to do the to do to do the to do to do the to do to read to read to read the to read the to read the to read it's to read to read to read to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to read it. to read it, to read it, to read it, to read it, to read it, to read it, to read it, to read it, to read it, to read it, to read it, to read it, to do just the standard evaluation. The quick consult with Dr. Lucy, which is where I read the headline of the post, and she quickly tells me whether or not the person should break up with the person they're talking about. Lay it on me. 21-year-old female, my boyfriend didn't visit me in hospital. I want to give the benefit of the doubt, but I know it's going to be worse than imaginable. So I'm going to preemptively say to dump him. All right, that's... You're probably on the right track.

Here we go, folks. My boyfriend and I have been together for a year. I went to the ER early on Wednesday morning at around 4 a.m. with severe abdominal pain and nausea which started when I was on the phone to my boyfriend. At first he dismissed me because he thought I was just bloated, but after a few more hours of me wailing in pain and a nurse advising me to go to the hospital he offered to call me an Uber there. After he called it he called it he he the the the the told. told. told. told. told. told. told. told. told. told. told. told. told. told. told. told. told. told. He told. He told. He told. He told, told, told, to to told, told, told, told, told, to told, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th the the the the. the the the the the the the the tho. thr. thr. thr. thr. thr. I. thr. I. I th it, he texted me telling me, quote, good luck and I honestly can't stay awake any longer and went to sleep. Oh my goodness. It gets so much worse. I spent the whole day in ER with my cousin in a horrible state going through multiple tests and they didn't know what it was, it was making me so sick. When I was well enough to actually speak, it was the afternoon. My cousin told me that he'd that th that he'd th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their the their their there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there so sick. When I was well enough to actually speak it was the afternoon. My cousin told me that he'd messaged her asking how I was and she'd updated him

on the situation. I might need surgery if it was what they suspected and her telling me that my boyfriend had gone to class. I opened my phone to a series of messages. Sorry I can't do more to a series of messages. Sorry I can't do more for you. Tell me if you need anything. I don't know what to do. Sorry I can't help you. Oh boy. After multiple visits from friends who had tracked me down, he was still nowhere to be seen. His class was a late afternoon class so he didn't bother to come in early or after his class.

At night, he asked me via text if he should come and visit. I told him it was up to him. Later on, I told him, yes, it would be nice to see him. When he came in, I discovered that earlier in the day he was scheduling lunch study dates with his friends, following up on plans with another friend, stating that he quote, might come and see me me in the hospital. This was all in the morning, while he knew I was that, told me he was sorry and that he would try to make it up to me. Then a few hours later, before the results had come out for what I had, he told me he was leaving early to go home and grab his laptop for class. Classes which he had skipped the previous week to watch an e-sports tournament. Oh my god you gotta dump him. There's so many more problems with this guy just get out of there. Oh I just love that like this says he skipped the

other one to watch an e-sports tournament because all the lectures get recorded and put up online. But he really had to go to that other one. I told him that I just didn't feel like a priority in his life, not just this particular occasion, but in many previous incidents as well, weirdly enough. Shocking. And he told me that he, quote, didn't know what to do, so he just didn't do anything. Oh, god damn. Ready folks? Hold on. Hold on. There's more?

Oh, you just, you know what the clothes is going to be, that's all. He's been trying to be super attentive and visiting me as much as possible to make it up to me. Blah blah blah. I'm conflicted, but also hurt. In the crucial moments when I needed him there I had everyone else but him. Only after I asked him to come to the appear. If something like this happened to him, I would drop everything. Should this be something I continue to pursue. Am I perhaps expecting too much from me? Yes, there it is. Oh my God. Is this my fault? Oh my God. I feel so bad for these girls because it's like I was like that maybe when I was like 20. Well she's 21 and he's 22. Yeah,. But oh god just don't even just dump him like do some bad shit to him. Oh my

God. Like sleep with his friends or slash his tires or something. Smash up his fucking alien wear laptop or what I was. Yeah. Oh wow no just as soon as I got to that line. He classes which he had skipped the previous to watch an e-sports tournament. I was like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. Oh. Oh. th. th. th. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. th. th. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th got to that line, classes which he had skipped the pre-eats to watch an e-sports tournament. I was like, that's going up. That's a pro move, I reckon. Oh my God. I just, I just love like, I love your girlfriend being in so much pain that she needs to go to the ER, so you call her an Uber and then immediately text her that like, oh look I just can't stay awake awake.. like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I'll to to to to to stay. to stay. to stay. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that she needs to go to the ER, so you call her and Uber and then text her like, call her a Uber and then immediately text her that like, oh look, I just can't stay awake, I'm going to sleep. Oh my God. Jesus.

What a piece of shit! Oh, God, the stuff people put up with, out of control. Oh God, if this is you, just get out of there. If you're listening, fucking get on with your life. My God. Jesus Christ. And there in his eye. One instance, a one instance of a letter this week. Yeah, because all the other ones were just very depressing and boring. Yeah, the other ones were all much more like, um, my husband killed himself. How do I deal with it? Yeah, that's not much fun for the podcast really. Ooh. They could make it a bit fun thi Christ th Christ th Christ th Christ th Christ th Christ th Christ th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, th th th th th th. Jesus, th th th, th, th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi, Jesus, Jesus, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, their, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, Jesus, thi, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, th killed himself. How do I deal with it? Oh yeah, that's not much fun for the podcast, really. I mean, I could make it a bit funnier for it.

Yeah, dump it. Oh. Oh. Oh. Yeah. Bad stuff. Bad stuff. Hmm.

So look, we're going to close it out with a single letter. We have a letter here folks from dear lover of the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Like, th. Like, th. th. Like, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Like, th. th. Like, th. th. th. th. thi. to, to, to, to, to. to, to. to, to. to. to, thi. thi. thi. thi. folks from dear lover of the show, Josiah Miller, who we all saw recently with his sweet merch. He's got a rig. It's got a rig on him. Oh, it's him with the rig. Big rig Josiah up there. So, lover of the show, Josie, who has bought himself a mug and a shirt which apparently

has not arrived yet and he refuses to wear a shirt until his shirt arrives. And he writes, at least three times over the course of recent episodes, Andrew has said some variation of, just got to get good at eating pussy. And now I can only assume that he started this whole podcast to subtly imprint the idea that he's Canberra's premier cunning linguist on as many people as possible. That's not true. It's very disrespectful to Andre's wife. Yeah. Um, what, that I'm good at eating pussy? Yeah. Why would that be disrespectful to? I mean he's implying that you want everyone to know it.

You just want your wife to know it. I'm perfectly happy for everyone else to know it, too. It's fine. Why shouldn't she be happy about it? Anyway, my question for the rest of the cast, what personal trait or quality of yours have you been trying to insept into our extremely genius brains. Hmm. Hmm. That's a good question. I mean I'm obviously trying to instill the idea that um everyone should be a independent woman or man

who don't take no shit and you can just, you can just dump whoever, even if you're not dating, you can just walk out. You can just cut it off and get the fuck out of there at any time. Yep. Yeah you know you can you can live alone have long-distance relationships. You can just have a string of boyfriends on the internet that you never have to meet. Yeah that's true. Yep. That's fair. How about you, Theo? I think I'm trying to convince people that I'm a normal person that can talk to other people who is not constantly beset by diarrhea. Yeah. It's going well actually. Thank you. Yeah.

Do you feel like the, um, do you feel like the, the diarrhea is like, um, just sort of a byproduct of the anxiety? Or do you feel like the anxiety causes the diarrhea or is it more of a vicious circle kind of thing? I believe it's a, yeah, it's a, it's a feedback loop. The anxiety feeds into the diarrhea, the diarrhea then feeds into the anxiety and if I'm lucky into the toilet. But not always. Yeah, yeah. Well I assume that anybody who is generally prone to or constantly be set by diarrhea

also has that kind of like, what if I haven't had my diarrhea yet this morning and we've got to go out? That is a worry with IBS. If you haven't had it, it's like, hmm, you never know. When's it coming? It is coming but you never know when. Yes, I mean if I if you're talking to me and I seem distant, um, agitated or detached, I'm just working out an exit plan. Yeah. Well, there you go, folks. So that's where it's at. It's where we're all at.

I'm good at sex. Lucy wants you to know that she lives alone, and Theo thinks a lot about diarrhea. Yeah. Don't tell them I live alone. That's not good. I feel like we knew. Didn't we all know that? I live with many very large, scary men.

Oh yeah, no, like besides the bodyguards and the security. Yeah, the body guards, many, a lot of security, a lot of big, big scary dudes, some of them interracial. Well, the good thing is that you're kind of saving money, because they double up on that role of like the six guys who carry you on the platforms that are on the polls. Exactly, exactly. They do do that. Yeah the whole kind of Egyptian Queen kind of vibe. A little look as they carry you down to the bottle shop at the corner. Yeah that's my lifestyle. All right folks we're gonna leave it there for this week. Don't forget you can jump on over to good old Patreon.

I'll speak of which, we got a 300th patron today. 300, it's wild. Three hundos. We are going to flip a series of coins or roll a dice or whatever. However we get a short straw, someone's going to take an artful nude and sentence that person. It won't be me because women's nudesudesudesudesudesudes thuuuuu. thu-wea-wea-wea-wea-wea-we-we-we-o-o-o-o-we-we-we-o-o-o-we-o-o-o-o-we-we-we-we-up, th, we're th, we're th, we're th, we're th, we're th, we're th, we're th, we're today, we're tod-up, we're tod-up, we tod-up, we tod-up, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we're th, th, th, th, th, th-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-n-n-n-a-n-a-a-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-a-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-a, th-a, th- and sentence that person. But it won't be me because women's nudes can't be humorous. Plus he's already paying money so. Exactly. Horses vaulted.

Yes. If you too would love to become a patron and get an extra episode every week, you can go over to Patreon. tho, it's just that guy. Just that guy. If you would like to order a shirt and have it sent to Josiah so they can finally cover up, you can go to Buntavista.com forward merchandise. Tell me to put a damn shirt on. We get it, you sculpt it, come on. And Lord. All right, folks, that'll do us for this week. And we'll see soon. Bye-bye.

Bye. you to be