Boonta Vista - EPISODE 430: A Bowl For The Piss To Accrete In

Episode Date: January 24, 2026

Theo, Andrew, and Ben bring you: Listener correspondence on piss gathering methodology, the return of a familiar fish-based problem in Newfoundland, the potential return of an American pastime, a father and son with too many guns, and how to spot a law enforcement officer. *** Outro: Deliverance - Karkara *** Support our show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista *** Email the show at [e-mail]! Call in and leave us a question or a message on 1800-317-515 to be answered on the show! *** Website: boontavista.com Twitch: twitch.tv/boontavista

What will we take off next zone? Yeah. Hello. Hello, welcome to Busta, episode 430. I'm Theo, and unfortunately, I do have some bad news. And if the quality, the audio quality of this episode is lowered, it's only because we are currently sitting in a life raft somewhere in the middle of the Mediterranean. That's right.

Our ship went down on the way to Ibiza. We were obviously going to like a big cool party that we're going to like Yeah and if you know what happens At parties you can fill in that gap there And I gotta tell you I'm not doing so well I'm kind of I'm baking in the Mediterranean sun My power bank is basically empty

I will not stop playing Slay the Spire Though it is hooked up to the switch two Oh and sorry Lucy's not here as well She had diarrhea so she couldn't come to the party. So she kind of dodged a bullet there. And we're down to like 30 cold ones as well. So the situation is developing. I'm here as well. Fortunately or unfortunately, I mean, I think I'd like to go out hand in hand with my friend, Ben. Ben, you're doing much better than me out here, I would say, just like starting like we're like six hours into this. Well, I think for me,

I'm obviously devastated that I'm almost certainly going to die in the middle of the Mediterranean No one's looking for us. I hadn't had that plan for my weekend, but I'm a little too distracted by the fact that we are hand in hand in that it's taken so long to get you comfortable with hugs at the idea of us, just two friends holding each other's hand in a quiet moment.

I'd hold your hand easily. Why haven't we been? Why haven't we been holding hands this whole time? I thought you didn't want to. I'm just loving it. I'm loving this moment. A beer. You can look at the ocean.

You can look at the sharks that are circling the raft. I don't know how they got me so fast. And I'm miserable for all of the same reasons. Yes. Well, we have sort of different dispositions. Andrew, do you know off the top of your head what the opening lyrics to, uh,

we're going to Ibitha by the Venga boys is, uh, uh, is what they is, what they are? What the lyrics is. Well, you'll be glad to know that I don't. Oh, okay. Okay. I didn't know them.

I was just looking at them just then. It opens with, I don't want to be a bus driver all my life. I've got to pack my bags and leave this town, blah, blah, blah, blah. Hold on. Is this, is this, is this canon the driver of the Venga bus? That's what I'm asking. Is this that they're already, after they've just gone to number one with the Venga bus, they've got, I'm so done with driving a bus.

I have never stopped to consider the perspective of the driver of the Venka bus. Yeah, he's probably not having much fun, right? I thought he was like a contractor. Well, he's got to be, yeah, he's got to be a designated driver. And I, like, any time I have ever seen something like a party bus, my first thought is just like, wouldn't you rather put a gun in your mouth than be like the sober person working on the party bus? I mean, it depends on what you're into.

I think if you kind of... If you're into guns in your mouth. If you're kind of bit seedy. That is of course, Andrew. And somehow he is smoking a chicken on here. He's got some corn cobs going on coals that he's produced from nowhere. How the fuck did you get adobe, dude? Hey, keep that ember away from the life raft.

Yeah. We don't want that. No. Burning plastic smell. Ewe. And it'll fuck with my food. All right. And you guys can share this, by the way.

This isn't just for me. I realize, you know, you've both been looking at the chicken, looking at me. Yeah, absolutely. It was either we've been turning into a superimposed chicken. Yeah, or we have some of you. Yes. I think as far as like biomass, I don't want to cast any dispersions. It's all good.

I'm just thinking like it's not going to be me. My needs are the lowest. Well, you would say that. Yeah. And I have the least to give as far as my flesh goes. Each according to his need. from each according to his meats. And my needs are, I'm hungry.

Yeah. See, I think it makes sense, actually, to eat the smallest one. Because if you got to kill somebody... Well, what am I meant to be doing? Am I meant to be, like, fighting with the person who's as big as me? Maybe they overpower me. Maybe they throw me overboard, you know? And also, even if you win, think of all those calories you've burned up.

All that energy you've expended getting that done when really could be boiling up your bones getting all the collagen out of there, you know? Yeah, but then what's your next move, right? So I think you've got to... We sip the collagen broth together. I think you've got to kill and eat the biggest one while you still have power of like numbers.

I think I wait until... I think I wait until Ben is really sleepy from the big meal of Theo I've just given him and then I bong him on the back of the head with your femur. Yeah. Or my switch too. Yeah. Quite heavy.

I need to be honest with you guys. I haven't been listening at all. I've been reading the Wikipedia article for the Vengue Boys, and I've learned a couple of crucial facts that I need to share with you. Okay. Okay, according to the pronunciation guide for the Venga Boys, it is pronounced the Bengar Boys. That is with a B.

Oh, Benger Boys. The Begab Boys. I am immediately going to incorporate that into my personal. personality as a strong component where I will only ever say bengar boys, I will not explain it, but if someone tells me that I'm wrong, I'm going to be really rude. It's like if you say scoda in my presence, I'll find a way to reframe my next sentence, such that it includes the word schoda. Yeah.

Yeah. The other thing I found out about that was created by a pair of Dutch producers named Vessel van Diepon and Dennis van derision. Aren't they all? They often are. Most of these sorts of horrible novelty bands, there's a pair of Dutch producers somewhere at the top. Yeah.

Behind every great band. There's two Dutch brothers. They also have a tours section on their Wikipedia article and it is almost entirely in Australia. I think we got hit the hardest by Banga mania. By Bengafiva? Yeah, we got blasted with the Benga Vian.

Where's the band? Where's the band from, though? I believe they're also. They're Dutch. Really? Based in Rondon. I have a different ethnic picture. I've never tried to picture.

But I think because of the Ibita element, I was like, of course. Maybe the Mediterranean of some kind. They could just be tanned from going to Ibitha so much. That's probably what it is. Yeah. The bengar boys. Maybe it's not always a bifah.

Maybe it might be Seville or something, right? Bufelona. Every time they've mentioned something that was vingerish, I now have to mentally put a binger in there. Yes, you should be banging it. The bengar bus is coming. Yeah. Everybody's bunking. Beng it like Beckham, you know?

Hey, if you already knew this about the bengar boys. You could have told us that in advance by the Bonte Vista hotline. Let's hear something else from the Bonte Vista hotline. [phone]. That's the Bouta Vista hotline. [phone]. That's the Bouta Vista hotline. You can send us an email.

Mailbag at Boutivista.com. Maybe DM us on Twitter. You could even message Facebook, but we don't really check the Facebook. Yeah. 800317515, that's the Bonta Vista hotline. 1,800317515, that's the Bouta Vastor hotline. On the 1st of February 2021, the Benga Boys posted a post to their Twitter. The text says, how do you pronounce bengar boys?

And there's the nerd emoji with the glasses and the teeth. And it's a picture of a doormat that says it's pronounced bengar boys with a B. Huh. Did they already have the dormant? Asked and answered. What they getting it? They had to do so much correct. that they thought, if we get one of these doorbats

for the front of the house, by the time people come in to the house we all live in, they'll know to say, Benga boys? The fuck out of here. This is from Lister Isaac. This is a follow-up to something we spoke about in, well, first time in the bonus episode,

one little suck before pointing it at the bucket. And then in another episode, 426, the hard-shelf taco. This is, of course, we spoke about a monkey, scientists collecting the urine of apes and Isaac wrote into us and said oh what up I know that guy

re the guy that was collecting the urine of the apes. The last time he spoke to us he said he was about to go to his work Christmas party with the urine collector. Yeah. The piss catcher.

The piss catch. That's right. Isaac has written to us again. He says, sorry for the wait. I didn't catch Alexi at Christmas but finally got a chance to ask him and another primate field researcher

what their preferred techniques for collecting monkey piss were at our museum symposium this past week. Finally. Yeah, see, symposiums where big ideas happen. Among primates, the urge to have a whiz first thing in the morning seems deeply held. However, how are monkeys

sleep in very tall emergent trees and climb down to lower branches to relieve themselves when they wake up? This makes piss collection fairly straightforward. You go to the tree in the morning and catch their urine when they climb down. Do you have like an umbrella that got caught in a storm and got inverted? Something very similar to that, actually.

In some cases, the human mouth does serve as a receptacle for the urine, but this is incidental and generally not preferred as it contaminates the sample. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, he's written this in a really good order, which he's given us little treats. So the preferred tool of collection is a butterfly net with a trash bag and side of it that you hold underneath the pissing monkey. Beautiful. Thank you.

Oh, that's so delightful. I fucking love science. So much. I know that they're not wearing like khakis and a pith helmet, but I am picturing them doing that. Yeah. A piss helmet in this case. Yeah. Okay. I'm picturing a group of scientists in lab coats

and they're holding like, you know the you know the fireman's trampoline to catch you when you come out of the burning building. It's just saggyer in the middle. Yeah. Yeah. It's weighed down by one of the scientists so that it could create a bowl for the best. Drew the short straw that morning.

You know, we got fucking 3,000 combined IQ in this room, but we can't figure that one out. Straws? This technique can be useful for chimpanzees as well, but since they forage on the ground, you can also just follow them at a distance with a syringe to slope up what they leave. Don't have to say slurp. This is incredible. This is written by a master word smith about a deeply fascinating topic. I had to do that with Nome when she, like, got a UTI or something.

I had to put, like, they get you to get, like, non-absorbent plastic beads. Then after she's done one of her horrible, stinking pisses, you got a, yeah, syringe up the hot piss and take it to the vet. So you're kind of a scientist in a way. I am. I mean, I've got a curious mind, a thirst for knowledge. And a syringe full of piss. Surringe full of piss.

Provided it isn't raining and the ground isn't already too wet, this is understood to give you a pretty clean sample of what they left behind. A helpful fact in finding the pedal puddle is that they like to be pretty efficient with their time and poop while they pee. Oh, I mean, me too. different. Usually, if you find fresh chimp shit on one side of a fallen log, there will be piss for you on the other.

Hasn't that always been true? That is so beautiful. That is one of the most incredible things that has ever been sent to us. What a lovely bit of wisdom that if you're looking for chimp piss and you're disappointed that you found chip shit, hey, check the other side of the log, brother. Yeah, it's like the guy mining and there's just a thin bit of membrane of wall left and they're just chimp piss. He's digging through shit and he's about to hit a cabin full of chimp piss. He's about to hit just an absolute vein of gold.

Sometimes it seems like life has handed you a pile of chimp shit, you know? Yeah, absolutely. The piss may be closer than you think. Yeah, it might be right behind you. There'll be some piss just around the corner, brother. Keep on trucking. I'm well informed that getting monkey piss in your face or monkey shit in your food

is a reliable hazard of field primatology. I believe it. You don't need to go to great lengths to coax the excrement out of them. Are they ready shit is? Isaac, I need you to give up whatever it is you do for a day job and get into science communication professionally.

Stop doing research and pick up a typewriter. God, imagine if they did their press releases like this. Yes. Being a herpetologist, I've never had the honour, though I did once have a fruit bat piss in my eye while I was out looking for frogs. Oh, to have a fruit bat piss in your eye

while you're out looking for frogs. Fruit bats are what piss in your eye when you're busy looking for frogs. Hey, what were you looking up for, though? Surely the frogs are down and the fruit bat pisses up. Yeah, hey, mister, the frogs are down here. Frogs are down here. Don't piss in my eye and tell me it's frogs.

Cheers, Isaac. That was, wow. No, cheers to you, Isaac. Yes. Thank you so, so much. If Alexi wants to come on the podcast and you think he has the charisma to be on a podcast, make it happen, pal, pal. Oh, hell, you come on.

Tell us about lizards or whatever. Yeah, whatever you do, don't prank all of us by understanding that he doesn't have the charisma to do it and organizing it nonetheless. You would hate to tee up a dud. Honestly, you know, you might be picturing it being really funny, but we'll have a very uncomfortable conversation for

20 minutes and we will not put an episode of it out. We've never had to trash an episode entirely before, I don't think. No, I don't think so. You'd hate for it to be because of your friend. And you, pretty directly. It's mostly because he didn't sign up for this. You said, Alexi,

you're very funny. go on there tell them about piss that letter was in regards to an old news story and other times we talk about old news stories and oh shit

it's an update to an old news story Oh shit It's an update to an old news story Now this is an update To something we first talked about In January of 2023 In episode 282 Baleful Clever Pig

Chop Knot Slop remix We spoke about it again in June of last year in the bonus episode one assorted hole. It's come up from CBC. Unbearable smell in St. Mary's Newfoundland after Newfoundland, Newfoundland. Newfoundland. Newfoundland. I'm never going to get it.

In St. Mary's Newfoundland after former fish sauce plant all collapses. Yeah. You guys remember this place? What was in there? Some stinky super marinated fish guts. Yeah. It's like the fall of the Roman Empire if like the Coliseum was full of like rotting fish concentrate. Yes, it's exactly like that.

I think the Coliseum is still standing. And if the Coliseum fall in time. I think usually when you say something we talked about 150 episodes ago, I go, maybe we did. But this one came back to me very quickly and I think that's because smell is such a strong sense memory. including smells that you have imagined. They should write a book about that. Smells that you have imagined. Yeah.

The side of an abandoned fish sauce, no, the side, the side of an abandoned fish sauce plant in St. Mary's Newfoundland was ripped open after high winds overnight, Friday, into Saturday. Mayor Steve Ryan said he learned the front of the building had collapsed early Saturday morning. Quote, the whole front is actually gone, he said. We are having a lot of windstorms over the past month. And this one, the building never withstood the wind. Do you think this whole time they were like, well, we're fine.

Because the front hasn't fallen off. As long as the front doesn't fall off. Yeah. Well, the front's not going to fall off. They desired for it to not fall off. So I think it's going to be okay. Buildings kind of operate as a unit. Yes.

Yeah. Hand and glove. Yes. Stronger than the... And the gloves full of rotting fish. Stronger than the sum of its parts, you know. Yes. One wall by itself, not doing that much for me.

No. It's like a podcast. It's like a podcast. It's probably. You know how this is, this is going to be the year of becoming Chinese, obviously. It's China's. It's Chinese supremacy. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, for the American year of humiliation, Chinese year of ascendancy. Yes. Yes. All of those things. This is, this is something where like when we talk about a story like this, and it is often from the states, and often part of the issue is like, well, you know, someone owns the property and we've been sending them letters, but they just haven't gotten back to us yet. It's been three years.

Oh, you reckon China would have taken care of this. I'm just saying, I think this would have been nipped in the butt. Do you think they're just pushing the letters through the hole in the front door? This is going plop into the fish sauce. That's what eventually pushed the front wall down. It was the filled up of letters behind it. That's in Canada, right? Yeah, but same deal.

Canada's going as well. They're falling to China as well. It's all the... It's all the council rules, you know. Red tape, yeah. Sometimes you just need, you know, a strong government to say, we're banning streamers. Yeah.

You know? You need a unilateral decision from a one-party government that just says, hey, hey, let's tear down that fish sauce plant. But, crucially, not put all the fish sauce into the ocean when we do it. Yes. Inside the building, 110 vats filled with rotting fish sauce So now exposed to the elements, according to Ryan. Vats.

We could be dipping people. We could be... We could be... We could be giving them umami. How much do you reckon they'd sell it to us for? As a punishment, like the Bonte Vista black site for Vat Dippin? Yeah. Fuck, that'd be a fucking unreal punishment.

Imagine... Imagine in your community, you have done something bad enough. You've fucked all your neighbor's wives. We're dipping you. You fucked all your neighbor's wives. You haven't been paying any taxes. You always double park down to the grocery store. Everybody is sick of your shit.

The council got together. The eyes have it. We are dipping you up to your waist. We're not going to kill you. No, we're not going to kill anybody. We are going to make you smell so fucking bad, dude. And you are going to be ostracized, as you should because of your behavior. We might microplane your butt cheeks before you go in.

I just say Get some bioavailability going It's kind of like a scarlet letter situation But for smell Yeah yeah Exactly Yeah Everyone's like well that looks like a normal guy

Deviant He's antisocial It's like man I can't deal with this anymore I'm just going to go to the bar And get a drink And as soon as you come in Oh

Everyone's like get the fuck out of here You're like, I'm a good guy, I don't deserve this. And you're like, hey, if you're a good guy, how come they dipped you? Yeah. How come they dipped you? How come they did you? Yeah. I don't just throw up baby shit.

Get the fuck out of here. They don't just throw anyone in those vats. We voted. It's democratic. We voted to dip you. Now you've been dipped. Should have thought of that before you fuck my wife, Todd. You know?

You blew it, Todd. Blew it. No, you can't get one to go. No. Get the fuck out. I was thinking of one to go. good news for the residents of Wichita. They have...

Man, they've needed it. Unless it's bowling left. They have extended... So I think it's maybe just in like downtown Wichita, but they added like open, like they got rid of open container laws 10 a.m. to 10 p.m. Saturday and Sunday. Maybe Friday and Sunday.

Oh. So like... So you can post up with the boys? Post up on the boys with the crew. You can just take your drink in a, Takeaway Cup, walk out the bar, you know, walk around, enjoy the sunshine, whatever. Open container laws out. Open carry laws in.

Yes, that's right. They've been trialing it for like four months and it went so well that they have made it seven days a week. Fuck yeah. So, you know, you don't have to go to like New Orleans to have a good time. You know, you don't need to go to Bourbon Street to party. You can go to Wichita. You'll never be late to pick your kids up from childcare again. Take the beer with you.

I think that's why they maybe started at 10 a.m. Probably specifically for that reason. In 2016, Environment Canada Testing found effluent flowing from the building into the ocean was acutely lethal to fish. That effluent pipe has since been capped, but the floating remains... How can it be lethal to fish?

It's from the fish. Oh, what a fucking... That's really some intergenerational trauma. haunting the fish with their own processed family. Not only did a bunch of them have a finding Nemo-style origin stories. They saw their parent get scooped up into a trawler. Yeah. But now a year or two later, they've been through some scrapes, got away from a shark, you know?

Yeah. Now, what's that smell? Oh, it's a pureade, liquefied, quanted parents who've been rotting in a vat for the last several years. I always thought effluent. was poopy or pee-pee. I think effluent can be like a runoff of any kind. Anything nasty? Any nasty runoff?

I think it does need to be nasty to be effluent. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. We're so smart. We are so smart. Like, for example.

Affluvia equals nasty. Oh, fluvia. What a wonderful name. Wonderful. Yeah. And a beautiful name for a girl. If you were driving a truck full of like a rotting animal guts from a slaughterhouse and that tipped over.

That'd definitely be effluent, right? That'd be awful with effluent. Yeah. Offluent. But if it was a big truck full of buffalo wing source, not. Not. It's neutral.

It doesn't go off, I think. That effluent pipe has since been capped, but the fluid remains in the building. They should have built it in the first quirk. It's just squirting out of another hole straight away. It's such a funny thing to be like, capped up where it was flowing, and then it just disappeared, just sort of vanished.

And employing the holding your hands over your eyes, school of disappearing something here. The guy, like, they found an old-timey plumber, like a little fur cap, little pipe to go out, work out what's going on, and I thought, well, there is your problem.

It's the pipe. There was the pipe. It was the pipe. Got to put something in the pipe. Pouring poop out. With the side of the building exposed, Ryan said the smell is unbearable, and it's unclear whether there are health concerns from the odour. It's not included in the news that the smell is unbearable.

Is there, was it airtight before? How much difference is the wall making? A lot, apparently. Yeah, I guess. Quote, if you're smelling this over a long period of time, what is the long-term effects? That's a great question. Great question.

As a result of that uncertainty, he said he's considering possible evacuations for nearby residents. What if it cured you, though? What if you got a sniff of that and you were better? Yeah, has anyone tried making a tincture of it? Yes. I just, I actually don't really understand how fish sauce can go bad. Worse? Like, once it's fermented into fish sauce, it's not, it's kind of like the most shelf-stable thing on earth.

Yeah. Is it? I don't know. That's a big call. I'm no doctor. With local school only about 300 meters away from the plan. Oh, come on. That's so close.

It's a really little town. It's just down the road. He said the town is also considering the possibility of canceling classes on Monday. Environment Canada has issued a special weather statement calling for 100 kilometre winds that day. It's not how I would use the word calling. It sounds like they're asking for it. They're requesting for 100 kilometers wins that day, preferably blowing away from the fish sauce plant.

Well, I mean, well, it's going to be blowing away from the fish sauce plant in one direction or another. Yes, that is true. It is going to be an onshore breeze because there's always an unsure breeze, so it's always going to be blowing it inland. This is a real trouble brewing kind of situation. Yeah, for 10 years. Yeah. Literally, literally been brewing.

Like this is what I still don't get from this story is like How is it this impossible for a city to just say This thing needs to happen We're going to we're going to pay for it to be cleaned up We're going to you know pay to like we'll access the property And we'll make it right with the property owner at some point if we have to I was thinking about this kind of thing just the other day right, where you start your life thinking that like when things need to be done, the right thing

will be done and, you know, we'll all get together and we'll do it. And that this stuff kind of happens naturally by itself. But I think I've been in the workforce long enough to know that nothing has ever done right. It's always onto the next thing. And nobody ever cleans up after themselves after they're done, right? Like whatever industry you're in, whatever your profession, like, you know, I think nobody's,

nobody's looking back. Yeah. Like, there's got to be, in every city, there has to be like culverts that nobody knows about with just like rusting car bodies down there.

And it's just, I don't want to fix it. I don't want to clean it up. What are you? You going to clean it up? Oh, I've even thought about that all the time, Theo, in professional settings as well. Yeah. Where, like, everybody in every job I've ever had has been like,

and then at some point we're going to sort out our processes. Yeah. And at some point, we're going to, like, do a review of a thing or whatever. Hey, when you see this thing happen, just work around it. Nobody got time to fix it, ever. And yeah, nobody ever goes, let's start. stop and we'll spend some time looking at the stuff we've done and figuring out what we need to fix. That's just never happened at any place I've worked in 20 years.

We're just going to move somewhere else. We're just going to move the town down the hill a little bit. Well, start doing it then, you know? I guess. Counterpoint. I think everything's going to be okay. On top of the smell, he worries the sludge that has been trapped inside for a decade. It's a sludge too? Sludge and smell?

Presents a risk to marine life if it leeches out. Quote, I think we can have a disaster here if this gets into the ocean. It's like Canadian Fukushima. Look, again, I don't like the lack of the lack of gumption here. I don't like the lack of lateral thinking. Let's have you tried calling up any perfumers from Paris and getting them over and saying, How would you like an extremely small amount of this to add into a bouquet of fragrances? But that only gets rid of this much, though.

No, they would want to get control over it. It would suddenly become like the spice malange of perfume shit. You wouldn't have to do any fucking whale hunting anymore, you know? You're saying this could be the new ambergris. I'm saying it could be the new ambergris, but nobody's over there. Like, reframe how you're snobreys. Niffing it. You're saying we should put a nude man in a glass tank full of this stuff.

Maybe. You see if he gains the power of interstellar navigation. Can't they pump it out? What's going on? I mean, they've got access now. A wall fell down. It's the wrong wall, though. That's the ocean approach.

You want it to be from the landward side. I guess the problem is that when you pump it. But out, it then also still has to go somewhere. Yeah. And this is the part that no one wants to deal with. One step at a time. We have established that putting it into the ocean kills everything. So it can't go there, which I guess the next option is what we're doing.

Did they finish the Trinity test? Or they're still going on that. Yeah, she looks awesome, dude. The cats are it a great choice. I think they should put this stuff in the, what's it called it? Is it the cola borehole? Is that the one in Siberia? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

The collar super deep borehole. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is that where the hell sounds were recorded? Where they put a microphone down there? They literally heard people screaming. I got to give Michael Collins an elbow in the ribs. Wake up! Got some sludge to put in the ball.

It would probably also be a lot less offensive and fatal if it was frozen. Yeah. Yeah, true. Has anyone thought about freezing the disgusting liquid? Hey, you know how the fucking ice shelves are cracking off of Antarctica. What if this was the perfect putty? Just to kind of like smooth in there and freeze up. Have you guys considered putting a whole bunch of like gelatin or jelly crystals in

seeing if maybe we can firm it up? Maybe we can turn it into something where you can like cut into some bricks and move around. Yes, eco bricks. Eco bricks. Stinky eco. Bricks. Maybe the International Court of Justice becomes the International Court of Jello.

And we all vote together every year. Worst behaved country has that truck driving around on it for one calendar year. Yeah. And it's honking and it's horn the whole time too. Stinky truck! Ryan said he's been fighting to have the building properly

cleaned up for a decade. That cleanup was very close to happening before this incident. Oh buddy. No, it wasn't. Steve, it wasn't. It's been very close to happening for 10 years. Steve, you might have ADHD. It's never getting cleaned up, Steve.

It's never, ever getting cleaned up. You were going to die mayor. I assume mayoral terms are for life in Canada. Yes. You're going to die mayor, and there is still going to be 110 vats filled with stinky fish bits. Learn to live with it.

quote, we have two or three companies waiting to go to tender to do the cleanup, he said. But now Ryan said there's an immediate need to address the situation. He has been in contact with both the provincial and federal governments. He said Avalon MP Paul Connors is working to get in touch with Fisheries Minister Joanne Thompson to discuss the next steps. How hard. Come on. This is just making me think of like times in my life that I have been a bit of a shitbird, you know. and I'm just letting it go

a bit professionally and people have to come and chase you up for stuff anytime that someone has had to ask you multiple times for something at work doesn't feel good

right and I've had that thing before at different times in my life over the years maybe I'm not maybe I'm not doing great like mentally or in my life

outside of work whatever it is and I can get into a bit of a bit of a position of like just feeling fucking paralysis, you know,

for doing the things I'm supposed to be doing. Problems real hard. Yep. And yeah, that experience of like having somebody come back to you for like the second or third time to be like, hey, what is happening? Yeah. Are we going to, is it like coming out or what?

And then imagine for 10 years. Yeah. Everyone at your job has been asking every day hey what's going on with the big stinking fish building and you go I'm just

I'm just waiting to hear back thing on the planet just waiting to hear back from the guy from the fisheries he told me that he had talked to a guy I'll call him I'll see what he's doing

I know what he's doing I feel like the the fisheries responsibility was sort of handed over when the fish came into onto land I think it's

kind of got old blitzed up I think it's probably like they've got to get the sewer guys onto this or something. I think it's the Mounties. I think it's in the Mounties hands now. Yeah. Shoot it.

They're federal cops, right? Send it to the feds. I think it's their problem. Yeah, they can scoop it up in their silly little hats. Yeah. Has anyone else noticed the hats look really stupid? Hey, they've got funny-looking hats. They look real stupid.

Yeah. Just having a mental image of a Canadian Mounties horse like half submerged like Artreou in Neverending Story, you know? I'm thinking they got a little feed baggy full of the stuff and they turn into like a chaos horse. They get corrupted. What if you got like every goat in the nation of Canada to eat just a little bit? Yeah.

Like just a tiny bit. And they'd be fine because they only had just a little bit. Just a little bit. They're like the guys up on the roof in Chernobyl. Yeah, they only had a little bit. So they'll probably be okay. They're fine. Mounties Hats.

Those are very regional. We talk about regional things in regional bullshit. Regional bullshit. Every little town has got their own bullshit. Regional bullshit. Every little town has just got to have it. They're very regional, aren't they? You only find them on heads.

Oh, that's good. This comes to us from KLFY. and Lafayette, Louisiana. The fly. Could cockfighting be brought back to St. Landry Parish? Maybe. I don't know. I'm not going to say not.

What's Bedridge's Law of Ketrich's Law of Headlines? The answer is always, could be. Could be. Dut know. Let's see. No idea. Discussions are underway to potentially revive cockfighting in St. Landry Parish, which is outlawed in Louisiana in 2008.

That seems very recent. That's quite recent. That was like, what, five years ago? It's like, funny, I saw the other day that in Alabama, there are a bunch of defunct but still present Jim Crow laws that they're trying to get off the books. And it's like, you've had a little while. You've had a bit of time.

You've had a bit of time to get that off your books. That ages. Parish District 11 councilman, Timmy Lejeune, argued that reintroducing the activity could provide a new source, of revenue without burdening taxpayers. And hey, it's something to do. Yeah. American Century Frileash.

Something bread and circuses. Like, why stop there? Let's... I agree. There's some dogfights going. But if you legalize cockfighting and then put a tax on cockfighting, that could be a way

to bring in some tax revenue. Bring in some tax revenue. And and how can it be bad? It comes from the earth. It happens. on the ground. Primarily. It's all Mother Nature, baby.

Yeah. They want to be fighting. Oh, man. This spur was handmade with smelted iron ore from the earth. I don't... I feel like

you shouldn't be given them weapons. You shouldn't be setting them up for little like gladiatorial battles. The weapon to me, the little blade is... That's a bridge too far. Yeah. You think they should just use

one nature game? them. Well, I just think they have a fight. At the end, they kind of like smack each other on the back. They go like, hey, no hard feelings. It was a good fight. Yeah, good fight. Good fight. You won, though. You won for real. Lajun emphasized the importance of generating revenue while proposing that discussions should advance the full parish council. Quite the first step is passing it through the full council, as you said. And the reason for all of this is to have an opportunity to generate revenue in the parish at no cost to the taxpayer. Some costs to the chickens. Total cost to the chickens No cost to the tax

I mean it's coming from Their money From their money The kind of people that are going down to the Sheds Out of the waterfront And they're throwing money on cockfighting Yes

So they're paying for the cockfighting And then you're getting some like Funding like schools and roads I assume Yeah I don't know what America like they do with their money over there. That's mainly for the police.

Lajoon believes that allowing cockfighting could help stimulate the local economy and attract visitors into the parish and suggest that bringing back cockfighting may resonate with certain community members who value its cultural legacy. Stop saying that part specifically. It's odd. It's really weird. People also used to fight dogs. People also, you know, had slaves.

There's all kinds of stuff that is part of your cultural legacy. but I'm not sure you should be bringing it back. Do you want the people that are going to travel interstate to go to a cockfight, to travel interstate to go to your cockfights? Yeah. I mean, it's probably going to bring in a bunch of business for like the shops that sell like light tan suits.

Yes, yeah, Hawaiian shirts. Yeah. Bolo ties. Guns that are specifically made to be fired in the air. Lejude believes that allow, nope, quote, this is another source of income, which is part of the culture of our parish, Lajun said. We've had cockfighting for quite some time here,

and then, of course, they made it illegal to have cockfights. I wonder why. It's such a funny sentence. And as you well know, cockfighting became illegal because everyone kind of agreed that it was bad. And all the crowds like, boo. I know, I know. I didn't vote for it.

Hey, I love a blood sport. You people are blood sports. A Garrett duplichon, legal counsel for St. Landry Parish clarified the legal implications of cockfighting. Quote, one, it is a felony to conduct a cockfight. It is a misdemeanor to attend or bet on a cockfight, dupleton said. Isn't that what they're trying to change, though? Yeah, they want it so that it's not a felony to conduct a cockfight

and it's not a misdemeanor to attend or bet on a cockfight. Yeah. This is like when that enormous... What's the thing? Everyone signs a form to say, yeah, I believe in this thing. What's that thing called? Petition. Petition went to the Queensland government to decriminalize weed.

And they're like, okay, well, first of all, it's illegal. That was very funny. So what are you got to do? How is it supposed to legalize something that's a crime? I don't know if you guys know this, but it's illegal to smoke weed. Discussions regarding the potential return of cockfighting will continue at the parish council meeting scheduled for tomorrow, potentially setting the stage for a formal proposal to state legislators. While there is some support for the revival of cockfighting,

there is also significant opposition to the activity. The Humane Society of Louisiana has voiced concerns regarding animal welfare and the ethics of cockfighting, indicating potential challenges the council may face. If the council votes to pursue this initiative, they would need to obtain a permit from state legislators to conduct cockfighting legally. Following steps will depend on the council's decision in their future meetings. They've got to apply for a permit? I just, I know there's like a lot of signs that things aren't going well.

Yeah. But this feels. Recession indicator. People throwing money into a pit on the ground where animals are killing each other. Oh, cockfighting. Currently, a crime. We talk about other crimes in Crime Watch. What if you dress the rooster up and made them do a little like walk up and down the catwalk?

Oh, you're thinking you want the cockfighting to be more like, like the walk-off from Zoolander, but with chickens. Haven't seen it. Huh. This comes from WSYR in Syracuse, New York. Father slash son arrested for possessing many firearms and illegal guns. Okay. Possessing many firearms and illegal guns.

Father slash son? Father slash son. Aren't we all, I mean, once you've had children, I guess. Yeah. Yeah. It's like John Farms sang. We're our son. We're all someone's daughter.

We're all someone's son. Yeah. And we're all holding many illegal guns. And fire arms. On Jan 14th, 2026, New York State Police arrested Clayton J. Carley, 26, and Jeffrey C. Carley 60 in Homer, New York, on multiple felony charges,

including criminal possession of weapons and controlled substances. Now, do you guys reckon Clayton J. Carly, Jeffrey Carley, is Clayton, Jeffrey, Jeffrey Clayton Carly. Oh. That'd be pretty good. Doing like an alternating name swap down the lines.

Oh, so apparently you can have a gun that isn't a firearm. You can't have a firearm that isn't a gun. What do you mean? Because a gun is a broad term for any device that shoots projectiles. Okay. So like air rifles, nail guns Yeah, I got a weapon like that. A crossbow, perhaps.

Whereas a firearm is a specific type of gun that uses gunpowder or other chemical propellant to fire a projector. So a crossbow is a gun. I don't know. Don't, don't quote me on that. Don't put words into his mouth. We're all learning at the same time.

I did say crossbow, but immediately I was like, no, no, no, no. Yeah. That's not a gun. That's clearly not a gun. The arrest stem from the investigation initiated in August 2024 into the theft of a dirt bike in Oswego County, on Juryan 12th, 2026. Authorities identified the stolen dirt bike,

which was listed for sale by Clayton Carly on Facebook Marketplace, leading to further inquiries and eventual arrests. I think Trevor from GTA-5 was kind of an accurate depiction for some portion of the country, right? Yeah, yeah, certainly. The theft of a dirt bike is such a... That's classic. It's got such a flavor to it, doesn't it?

Yeah. The New York State Police Troop D Community Stabilization Unit, assisted by Troop C officers, executed a search warrant on Jan 14th. Leading to the recovery of various firearms and drugs, items seized included three handguns, five assault weapons and a loaded shotgun, measuring less than 16 inches in barrel length.

Yeah. So they got the sawn off. I got a weapon line that too. In total, approximately... Approximately 18 pounds of cannabis flour, six pounds of concentrated cannabis, and five ounces of psilocybin mushrooms were confiscated. The seizure also included more than 12 mature marijuana plants,

more than 50 immature plants grow up, brass knuckles and more than 50 rifles and shotguns. They were charged with several offenses. These guns are pretty cool. Including criminal possession of a weapon in the second degree, possession of controlled substances with intent to sell and other related felonies and misdemeanors. the pair were processed at SP Homer

and taking the Cortland County Jail. They arrested Dewey from justified. Haven't seen it. It's a great show. Yeah, I've heard good things. Following the arrest, further investigation revealed that Carly had stolen had sold the stolen dirt bike to a buyer in Buffalo, New York authorities contacted the buyer,

cooperated and arranged the return of the dirt bike to the New York State Police. So that's good. I mostly just wanted to tell you guys about this so I could show you the photo. because you like you hear numbers. Like oh, that seems like a fair amount of guns, you know? Yep.

If you guys just have a look at our group chat there. Oh, okay. Yeah. That's so many fucking guns. That's like the construct. They're in the fucking construct. That's like when you're going up to a boss fight in like Halo or something, they want to give you so many guns that you've got to choose.

I want the battle rifle. And your ammo is always going to be full at the end. You've got to leave some, you've got to leave some, you've got to leave some guns in the rack. Yes. Right? They are, um,

I, for self-defense or whatever, right? Like you probably need one gun. Right? You probably need like, maximum two, I think. Yeah.

One per hand. Yeah. Sort of if you're kind of like, uh, doing like, uh, spas a chemo, uh,

like, you know, one shotgun in each hand. I, yeah, I would have picked a different shotgun just for the sort of the ambiguity in the audio that. Yeah.

Yeah. Buttole. No, that's the, is that the pasta brand? Benucci. Benetti. Benetti. Bernadetta. Oh, they're good.

A nun on each hand. What's the name of that, what's the video game with a lady with the huge bassoons? Bayoneta. Oh, Bayonetta. The bayonetta. It's actually got good mechanics. It's like, you know.

I'm going to, um, I'm going to disagree with the group here. I'm going to swim against the tide and say... That's not a lot of guns. Yeah, to you, that's a... I think in the context of Americans with guns, that looks to be, I'm going to say, if we're doing generous guessing,

I'm going to say like 40 to 50 guns in this picture. Yeah. Yeah. Between two adults. In a real variety, too. Between two adults? Yeah. So we're talking like 20 to 25 guns apiece, maybe.

Unless one's a novice and he likes to go around look at his friend's big collection. Well, his dad might have the father's share of the guns because he's the older gentleman. Yeah. Mayhaps he do. Might be 50, 3515. Papa's treat is to have a little extra sprinkle of guns. Hey, he's had a big day of work. Let Papa enjoy his guns.

Let him have a couple more guns. When you're older, you'll have the father's share of the guns. I guess maybe a lot of like American non-arms dealers probably also have 50 guns in their house and it's probably normal, I guess. Yeah. It's a really, yeah, interesting culture over there. Over there in America.

We talk about America in... That's right. America Watch. America. This comes from KCCI in Iowa. Sarah Gordo... Serro Gordo County Warns of

Serro Gordo County Wards of Impostors of Impostors posing as ice agents Seems bad Yeah Officials in Serro Gordo County are warning residents about individuals Falsely claiming to be with U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement

After six people visited the Sero Gordo Law Enforcement Center on Wednesday According to Mason City Police Chief Mike McKelvey, the individuals are asked about inmates with immigration detainers but left without detaining anyone. Mason City Police stated the individuals are not affiliated with Iowa's ICE field officers.

Oh shit, is they trying to break them out? What's going on here? The situation has been reported to National Ice Authorities McKelvey is urging residents to verify the legitimacy of anyone claiming to be law enforcement by reaching out to their local authorities. Yeah, so like if a guy wearing like urban camo with his like face covered

with like a weird skull band out and just random patches and he's carrying a weapon comes up to you and you're not 100% certain that he's just politely ask for his, they've probably got like a QR code or something you can scan. Yeah, they probably have to identify themselves.

Working really well for everyone else to ask for names and badge numbers and stuff. So just keep on doing that, I suppose. Keep on asking and certainly probably you know, they haven't backed themselves into a corner by making themselves unidentified and unidentifiable. such that anyone can kind of don the mask and sort of just like start swinging around.

Yeah, and they've sort of like given up on the fact that like the warrants they use don't mean they can just break into your house. So they just stop showing warrants and just break into your house. I mean, we've kicked your door down already. So. Yeah. So I think it's going to go really well. I posted that article in the group chat earlier today about a guy stole, tried to steal a place,

station from a house where a family, an immigrant family was living. A non-white family was living essentially. And this guy just opened the door and said, hey, I'm with ice. Hey, threaten with a knife. Hold on, Ben. That's not what happened. He climbed in through a window. Oh, you're right.

He did, yes. I said, I'm with ice. I'm going to stab you, give me a PlayStation. You need your PlayStation. And then what the fuck? does anyone do about that now because you've set a precedent that if they are the actual ice, they will just shoot at you or they will just like drag you away without telling you on where you're going or what it's for without showing a warrant without identifying themselves.

Or you'll be extremely cool like the 17 year old in that story who punched the guy and knocked him out. Yeah, rock on dude. Pretty fucking that's cool. I can't imagine doing that and I am an adult man. Yeah. Yeah. Just cold cocking the dude is.

fucking awesome. I cast you out. Bam. Probably shouldn't have made this the last one. This was definitely an episode of the podcast. Bonta Vista. Look, Ben, I think everybody's going to forgive you because there's a lot of real insanity making news in the world at the moment.

And if anything, I think we do a really good job of filtering as much of it out as possible. Yes. We are the soldier in. Cammo taking the knives, the fire, all the bombs thrown at us. And you are the beautiful little boy sleeping in the bed. Yes. Remember that, folks.

As you go through your week, if there's ever a point where you're just, you're not feeling that good. You feel like the world is set against you and you are upset on all sides. Just remember, you are the beautiful little boy sleeping in the bed. Yeah. We are your protectors. That's right. And if you want to be the poison for you.

The beautiful little boy two times a week. twice as much because you're always our beautiful. If you want to be two little boys in a band, you can sign up for bonus episodes at patreon.com slash puttivisa. Sign up to Patreon.com slash pontiffister to become a second boy. Yeah.

We'll talk to you maybe on the podcast. Bye.