Boonta Vista - EPISODE 433: Great Mandibles Of History

Episode Date: February 15, 2026

Lucy, Theo, Andrew, and Ben bring you: A house full of boobytraps, the shifting needle on protein and fibre, and the worst place for consciousness to emerge. *** Outro: Fried Neck Bones and Some Home Fries - Willie Bobo *** Support our show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista *** Email the show at [e-mail]! Call in and leave us a question or a message on 1800-317-515 to be answered on the show! *** Website: boontavista.com Twitch: twitch.tv/boontavista

Hello and welcome to Buna Vista. Episode 433. I am Ben, and we're here at the great Bontevista countoff, where we challenge the host of the show to count up to the number 12 using episode titles that contain that number, including ordinals. I tried to see how high I could go, and the highest I can go is 12. There is not a 13 as far as I can tell, but we've done so many of these. We've done like 860 of them.

Lucy, you're up first. We're starting at the number one. Although, bonus point, you can do zero if you can think of an episode title that has zero in it. So I need to think of an episode title of ours that has the word one in it. Yeah. I couldn't tell you. Okay. Well, you do not get a point there.

I was looking for one assorted hole. I'm throwing a bonus. It was the one I was thinking of. I was trying to get to that. I knew the one. We should maybe do throwing a wide open rules. You can throw it open. I think we should be allowed to steal.

Okay. Does anyone want to try for the bonus point of the one episode? title that has zero in it. I can't remember the title of the episode we did one week ago. No, absolutely. This is not going to be fruitful for words. I don't remember anything you've spoken about for the past nine years. The zero we were looking for was a hard zero of dead birds.

Now, Andrew, you get to try for this one first. We are looking for the number two in an episode title. Two bros, one pump, I guess. Yeah, I was thinking, is it two girls something? There is not a two girls punt in our back. catalog as far as I can tell. Would anyone like an opportunity to steal Theo? No. Oh, you're stealing Theo? Where are you taking me? Cave. I would have accepted the two slur-based softball games of the Upper Peninsula

Giant Mushroom Colts. Yeah. Theo, you're up first for the number three. Yeah. We have like three of these. Yeah. Oh, that's nice. That's a nice synchrant. You've got a three-cubed one. there's a pun on the three body problem actually we have like five of them three is the most fruitful by far because we've done two three body poblet three is three is the loveliest number that you ever knew but I can't think of any of them the three the three slur problem I'm not going to do the stealing thing because this is going to take far too long anymore

I would have accepted the three mouth problem the three twin situation three and a half tons of frozen pies outside Joliet Illinois, three to four hours of uninterrupted psycho time and three to four hours of uninterrupted crab mode time. I know it's past say and a laugh at your own

things. That'd be very gosh, wouldn't it? But God, the episode titles just tickle me and I don't care who knows it. I think it's good if it's been long enough that we can't remember any of them. Oh, absolutely. Everyone that you tell me is a surprise. Like, I knew there was two three to four hour ones.

Yeah, I can remember what the I hear it. Like, damn, that's funny. That sounds like a funny podcast. Who thought of that? Yeah. Damn. It's a good podcast. I'd pay money for more of these.

Or not in February, freemian February. You should still pay if you're already paying. Yeah. You should. Yeah. Don't take it away for a month. Yeah.

If you're in line to pay, stay in line. Lucy, you're up to four, but you can't use either of the three to four ones are in the previous, the previous bracket there. That seems unfair. That seems really unfair. Wow. Four. I don't make the rules.

Four. Oh, four people. Four people arguing. Yes. About. See? Oh, it's in there. It's in there.

Hand jobs? Hand jobs. Hand jobs? What's the thing? Four people arguing about whether hand jobs. Oh, you were closer before. I'm going to talk this up as one point so that at least we get one number on the board. We are looking at four people arguing about foot jobs versus hand jobs.

Oh, fuck. We're so close. I was so close. All kinds of jobs. Andrew, looking for the number five. This is an episode that you were on. This was a Godfuckers episode. Oh.

With our good friend, Hum, and Naomi. It is a rating. The number is a rating. Five stars? Five out of five. Five stars. Uber handjob rating. We're looking for a five out of five racism experience.

Oh. Theo, your number is six. This is from, I think, maybe the first 100 episodes. Oh, Jesus Christ. We were looking for Squeal Team 6. Oh, that's good. Lucy, we are looking for the number seven. This is also, I think, from the first 100 episodes.

Jesus Christ, I was a different person back then. Yeah. You sound different. I sound different. I sound more mature. I think we all sound like we've become more comfortable with ourselves. Yeah, we sound bradier. We started bright here.

We had a brat summer and it changed us. No, I'm not going to get this. Four square and seven years ago. Okay. Now, Andrew, the number eight, you have three good options here, I think. Squirrel team eight. Close. We have eight inch hog, Arkrum, Jar Jar Jha Binks.

Okay. Good one. We have eight years of, sorry, eight Polish years of Polish medical school. And fuck, what is it? Is it eight hours of cornography? I believe it's eight hours of cornography.

Yeah, that sounds right. Theo, the number nine. This is an audit all number, if this helps you at all. It's a baseball inning. Oh, yeah. The ninth inning of baseball. Bottom of the ninth.

I would like to steal. I would like to steal. Yes. Bottom of the ninth, what fuck, what happens in the bottom of the ninth? Yeah, bottom of the ninth. Something about calm. Nope.

No. This is one of the few episode titles that doesn't. It was. Something about a hot dog? No. It is a food is the next thing. It's the bottom of the ninth, food something, right? Bottom of the ninth crab bake for everyone.

Is this how normal people feel at trivia? Yeah, this is what every other team at Seelings trivia feels like. Watching you crying. Number 10 for Andrew. Now, this is an episode we got in trouble for. to a very, very long discussion at the start of the episode. We were counting down a list with 10 items in it in the manner of... I know what it is.

I know what it is. Theo, would you like to steal? Yeah, go for the steel, baby. Ten ways to kill the Pope. That is the spirit of it, if not anywhere near correct. But I will give you a point for that. It is the top 10 places that would kill the Pope if he received a high caliber bullet wound there. Yes.

Now, number 11 for you, Theo. This is relatively recent. This was with a guest. I didn't write down who it was, and I can't remember. Christ. 11. It is an 11-acre toilet. And now for the final one, which will make the difference between either Lucy winning or Theo and Lucy tying.

I will get you to shout your own name as a buzzer. Can you tell me an episode title that has the number 12 in it? Theo, 12 angry. And I should get half a point for that. This is from, I believe, two episodes ago, 12 hours of shaking your snow globes. I knew it was 12 hours. Fuck. Yeah.

Good work, everybody. What a great intro that I'm sure. It will be three minutes shorter in the edit. Congratulations, Lucy. You have won. Yay. Someone describe your performance is phenomenal. We talk about other things that are phenomenal.

in tabloid phenomenon. This comes to us from the Yorkshire Examiner. Yorkshire couple inspired by Home Alone, rigged home with booby traps using explosives and flame throwers. Yes, dude. You just hear so infrequently about real-life booby traps. Like once every five years there'll be a news story about a guy that had like fishing line on the trigger of a shotgun that was pointed at his front door or something

and you're like wow they're out there not that many of them successfully executing a booby trap like i can't imagine a better payoff like you've put in all that effort and then you get you see the guy get blasted in the face with the the door shotgun absolutely and it's like hey i killed you with my mind and with my shotgun i killed you with planning yeah the the only problem with the successful booby trapping is that like I think I want it to be non-fatal because I want to jump out and go ha ha ha

Dumber, yeah, feel straight in my trap trigger that shit from the other room Greg? Yeah, good luck getting that off your ankle bones. I planned this a week ago. It's like when you set up a mine in like perfect dark and then you know it it goes off and you get the kill even though you're not even there. I can well that paid off. Well yeah but it's it'd be like if in home alone you know when

there's a scene where I think that he's got like a can of maybe hairspray or something and a lighter hooked up to a door and Joe Pesci puts his head through. He sets Joe Pesci's head on fire. Sets fire to the top of his beanie? I'm going to say. Yeah.

And he goes, because it's a kid's movie. And he runs out to the snow. I'm saying if you had rigged that up to have the string connected to like the trigger of a sawn off shotgun. Yeah. And it just took the whole top half

of Joe Pesci's head off. There's just Joe Pesci's iconic mandible remaining blood sprang straight up anime style. That is an iconic mandible. And if you get out there... Mandibles of history. If you get out there and you go, oh, he's not getting anything out of it.

It's not fun, is it? And there's sort of no one there to witness what you've just pulled off. Yeah, the dog that caught the fire truck. No one at that point. Yeah. And I think we can all agree taking a photo for posterity tasteless. Yes, it's like you're doing the rap squad.

like the magic the canary guy next to the headless body. And you just know there's going to be like a black and white version of this on the Wikipedia page for the incident. Yeah, you're going to have to like

the person that you want to show this Polaroid to in the bar, you're going to have to do a solid five, ten minutes of wind up an explanation of like what this person did? Really nasty guy. And it really earned them.

I saw him take a bunch of pennies out of a donation bucket. Now check this out. Immediately seeing that The other guy has turned against you in that moment. Oh, I'm losing you. No, no, no, no. You can understand.

He caught me off. And then he flipped me off. So I left my kid at home. I left my kid at it's fine. It's fine. Look, look how he looked after himself. So I went to Europe. Dead invader.

Many hours later, realized my son wasn't that. Yeah. I'm married to Catherine O'Hara, by the way. Did we talk about the guy that built the replica home a lot? loan house. Did that? We didn't do it on the show, did we?

Oh, we've talked about it though, right? What? I spent like, spent like two million dollars building a replica home alone house for Christmas. You have to break into it?

He, no, I don't think it's booby trapped or anything. I don't think he was just like a guy that owns a construction company. He was like, nah, I'm going to build the home alone house.

So I'm like the middle of fucking nowhere in like Nebraska or some shit. He's got a replica home alone house, which is kind of if you don't have the booby traps, it's just like a big house. It's just like a house that looks like every, American suburban house. Yeah, way bigger than it needs to be.

Probably got four-car garage. It was very good. So they could film in there. They fit the cameras. Oh. They should booby-trap escape rooms, I think. Like, if you're not paying attention to all the clues and you put your hand in the drawer,

it just like cuts off three of your fingers. Oh, so if you're just like trying every drawer and you clearly don't have a system. Yeah, and if you're kind of like not like reading slowly and taking in the clues and like discussing really what's going on there and just kind of like rattling all the stuff and that kind of thing. Yeah, you should be like maimed, I think.

Yeah, it should be like a sore trap. Like the time limit should be like, they're releasing the bees after that. Yeah, if you fail some sort of moral quandary. All your life, you've been trying to solve puzzles, but what if the puzzle jumped your nose off? I don't know if you guys saw last year that the Home Alone house, the Home Alone house got sold again recently,

It got sold in 2025 for $5.5.5 million. But the year before, it had been renovated by its owners into, you guessed it, the current ghastly super minimal. Oh, really? Yep. Yucky. Man. You got some pictures in the chat there. He wasn't really homeline, was he?

Yeah, that was cameraman there for the movie. Yeah. And there was the two people trying to kill him. He wasn't like digetically. It wasn't like a documentary about their Japanese comedian that they locked in an apartment with no clothes for a year. He wasn't truly alone. Not spiritually.

They old boyed a guy for, they did like a 112th old boy? You never heard about this? Oh, you got to hear about this. I hadn't heard about this. I thought you were joking. It was a thing where a guy had to, he started naked in an apartment

and had the only stuff he could like have was stuff that he won in competitions. from magazines that were sent to the place. Oh my God. It genuinely, they, like, ruined this man. So he agreed to this, like, as a... I don't think he knew he was going to be filmed. It's like proto Mr. Beast, really.

Yeah, I was going to say, this is like, is this the original Mr. Beast? Except they're making him into Mr. Beast. It's really fucked up. There's a pretty good documentary about it and probably 2,000 podcast episodes about it. But, like, the setup is very bad. He does not have an easy time at the start. and then when he thinks he's done, they make it a million times worse.

They have absolutely, they ruined this man's life. That seems evil. They ruined his life. Yeah, okay. Pretty fucked up. Looking at this photo is the Home Alone house. I've got to say,

have you guys noticed that people that like aren't us fucking love white and grey furniture and floors? Yeah. It's so fucking miserable. They're not dealing with the same number of stains we are, I think. Yeah. Or stain generation.

Yeah. That's what they should call us. I'm making stains all the time. You're making stains all the time? I don't think I'm often making stains all the time. I think your boys are making stains all the time. Yeah, my boys are making stains. I don't know, like all the arms on the couches,

they slowly get brown over time from like arm base and stuff. Honestly, you can clean them. I know. Look, I've got a wet back now. I got it. I'm hoovering up those stains. I'm de-staining it. It's nice to have a stained couch, though,

Because then you can just wipe your hands on the armrest and you just kind of do whatever. Yeah, kind of to be filthy and like, you know, it doesn't matter if the rats run on there either. It's already scratched up. It's somewhere for your Cheeto dust are going in it. Yeah. Sorry, I just, I was very wrong about the price of the replica home alone house. It wasn't in Nebraska. It was in Utah and it cost him $7 million to make.

That's more than the actual home alone house. is saltful. Oh, it has an indoor pickle ball caught and an expansive pantry. That's good to know. That's dark. That's sick, dude. Thank goodness. A married couple who booby-trapped their home with firearms, flamethrowers, and cannabis

have been sentenced. You get like blasted with weed smoke? So then, it does seem like they're making a list of the booby traps, but they're just saying the home was filled with firearms, blame throwers, cannabis. Oh. The cannabis was not part of the booby trap. It wasn't like a cannabis booby trap.

We're like, oh, no, I'm hotbox chamber. I'm tired. Whoa, no. This is a setiva. I thought it's like, you know, the game's like, like, the new doom that's on Mars where you kind of have to walk into an antechamber and the scanners come in and they're kind of like spray you with the like decontamination stuff. But it's, uh, it's, uh, they're smoking you out.

It's gungia. Yeah, with that gung. This is electric festing, dude. You're gonna fucking love it. It will make you very paranoid. I've just got some mail for you. Paranoid Ian Clorton rigged his home with trip wires and explosives

to deter thieves from stealing his cannabis farm. It'd be awesome if that paranoid was in quotes like, weird Al-Yakovic, paranoid Ian Claughton. What we know on as. The Yorkshire and Humber regional organized crime unit became suspicious after Border Force officials intercepted an order made from Cloughton's ex-wife Leslie Cloughton's eBay account for, quote,

realistic imitation firearms from China. Yeah, I'm always Googling that on eBay. Shooting that one in there. His honor, Judge Reed's Casey, told Sheffield Crown Court on Tuesday, it is significant as it was what led police to discover when they executed a search warrant in May 2024. A warrant was executed at the couple's home in Briarley Road, Grimthorpe, and officers discovered two linked neighboring addresses hiding many secrets. I'm just tending my fingers right now.

Secret linked addresses? We got a tunnel going on? Yeah, we're talking like a secret door. What is this? Please. Please. It's so cool when you're an adult and you own your own home. You can just kind of get silly with it.

Yeah. I wonder what that's like. I'll never know. I'll never know. A tunnel in there. The judge said, quote, it was rigged up with

explosive devices fashioned from a flame thrower made by a fire extinguisher. The ultimate irony. You tell it be a fire extinguisher made this flame thrower? How delightly of subversive. Oh,

oh no. Imagine how bad the fire extinguisher felt while you were doing that to it. Or the fire extinguisher just hasn't felt right its whole life, you know? I don't know about this one. Everybody's telling me, I don't know.

Everybody's telling me to put out these fires, but I wish I was fucking making a fire. Damn, dude, you're telling me this thing contained its own negation? That's fucked up. Imagine. And it finally felt really good. Setting a potential drug thief on fire.

Officers also discovered two firearms loaded and ready to fire rubber steel projectiles. Ow. The court heard that any potential thieves targeting the properties would believe the firearms discovered were, quote, real. Yeah, I guess. It's a point of gun at me. I'm going to... I'll probably think it's real.

If I was in that court, I would have said, objection, you can't truly know the mind of another. We don't know what potential thieves would have thought because we don't even know who the thieves are, let alone how good they are at identifying how real are going. counterpoint, if I was there, if I was the attorney, I'm pulling out a gun on the jury. I'm watching him scream and I'm going to be like, oh, ho, ho, ho. You flinched. You fools. And then the judge is like, look, no props in the courtroom, but I think you've made your point. And then I pull it on the judge. And you flinch is. Oh, okay. God, you're good at this. Yeah, might be such a good lawyer.

You're the best single female lawyer there is. The judge told the clotons, I'm sure all of these items were there in order to protect your cannabis grow. Yeah, okay. Yeah. But is that like derogatory or complementary, do you think? How can something natural be illegal, man? It's a plant.

It comes from the fucking ground, dude. It comes from the ground. It's an imitation firearm. It comes from China, dude. It comes from the ground. Yes. From the banks of the beautiful Yag-Sea River. All the way to the island of time.

The independent... I'm just getting a note here. The court heard... Delisted in four countries somewhere. The court heard, Ian Cloughton, had also created a notice for anyone trying to get inside the property. Okay, so what's the problem? The notice has since been made available by West Yorkshire Police

and said, Quote, warning, do not enter these premises unless invited to do so. The premises and its surrounding buildings yard are booby trapped. You have been warned. A redacted name no longer lives or works here. It's no joke, everything booby trapped. The note was bordered by drawings of bombs with T&T written on them. Yes, dude.

That's so good. I don't think you should tell them. about your booby traps, though. I think he's doing like the, he's, he has a code. He's being clear in his communication. He's setting his expectations, his boundaries. He's saying what the consequences will be. You violate them.

This is a boundary. He's saying if you do this, this will happen. He's kind of doing me. You will be shot with rubber bullets. I'm going to start swinging this shovel around my head. And if you walk towards me into the path of the shovel and you get womped by it, that's your fault. That's your fault.

you knew about the shovel. I would love to know who the person that no longer lives or works there is. Yes. Like, is that because the previous person that lived there was a total soft cock and would have been lying about the booby trap? So he wants to make it clear that it's not him. It's not the guy that lied all the time about having booby traps. I'm serious.

Or is everyone trying to get in because they really want to see the person that used to live there? Or he had enemies or something. Or they want to kill him. Yeah, true. I do notice the mention earlier. in the article of his ex-wife, Leslie. I think they were together at the time of the crimes. Oh.

Since vaporized, I think, by high voltage. They broke up after the crime. Her skeleton became visible briefly. Yeah. It was no good. Do you go see the recent, there's the slow-mo guys, right, where they take high-speed footage of stuff,

and they recently got a ballistics, like, human model, and shot it with an R-Pi-E-R-Pi-E. didn't come up on my feed. So good. Not in my algorithm. So good. I do love to see anything that blasted in slow motion. Oh man.

They did one where they fired an entire bowling ball out of a cannon. And just this head of this dummy gets, you know, sniper elite, slow-mo X-ray moded. I don't know. If you're into that kind of thing, check it out. Can I air a grievance against the amazing Slow-Mo brothers, whatever they're called? Oh, the slow-mo bros? I don't want, I want, like, I want their videos to be 20 minutes of nothing but the slow-mo. Nothing but the slow-mo, yeah.

I don't want the chat, okay? I don't want the normal speed, I don't want the build-up, I don't want discussions, speculations. I don't know, if you don't get the, if you get the slow-mo without the, well, I mean. But you only get a few moments of slow-mo. Yeah. Oh. I want one-hour non-stop slow-mo. I only want the slow-mo.

Because, yeah, I'm stoned as fuck. And I'm going, what? It sounds like what you're saying, Ben, is that you want, you want the slow-mo guys to adopt the cold steel model. Yes, yeah, put some music on. Music over the top. And then you have a husky gentleman coming out and just set off the cannon.

He's letting his blade do the talking for him. That's right. I'll tell you what, pro, because he keeps his shirt tucked in. Listen up, slow-mo brothers. This is what I want. Hour long video. only slow-mo. You Paul stretched the song of your choice

to the length of an hour. You put it behind it. Bam! I'm in! Done. Easy money. A Patreon subscriber. Yeah, I'll give you five bucks a month.

If that's what you're doing, please. If you made a channel where you were like a Patreon-supported, I am blowing stuff up in slow-mo channel. And you were like, and if you subscribe at the top tier, you get to say a thing, you want to see. Yeah.

Slow mode by another thing. How fast does that turn into fetish stuff? Like within an hour. Well, you've got to make money somehow. Like, surely. Monetizing stuff on the internet is really hard. The only people that pay for stuff are like fetishists. Hold on now.

It's just, let's not talk shit on the people that pay for stuff. Yeah. I mean, if you're listening to this because you've got a fetish for four people just talking about dumb stuff, get your rocks off. I hope you're squirting everywhere. I hope the clean up after the episode takes you 20 minutes. I hope you squirting funny star. Get squirtin.

Get squirtin. Putter. Putter. Putter. That's squirting. It's 2026. Yeah. Everybody's squirting.

Oh. Yeah. And if you're not, oh. Hey. We'll get you someone out there. A lot of you are on SSRIs, we know. Get your squirt on. Oh, so I thought that the note with a.

the drawings of bombs with T&T written on them was the best note. It's not the best note. Oh, there's a better one? A better note. A session of notes. Each one better than the last. There's another note a little further along. It says,

Congratulations. Well done for getting this far. Now would be a good time to get measured up for your coffin and say goodbye to loved ones. This gate is electrified in excess of 50,000 volts. Yes. Enter at own risk. Be wall.

Does it have the, it will kill you and you will be in pain the whole time? A whole time, yeah, that's a classic of the genre. I love that this is just a note that a child would write. Like, don't come into my bedroom. You reckon, how's he, how do you get 50,000 volts off your mains power? Step up transformer? Does that what those do? Yes, that's what those do.

That's a lot of volts, right? It's a lot of volts. What's in an electric fence? It's a lot of volts. No, will that one kill me stone down? I think about the same, right? I think that would kill you stone. Well, it's not the vault.

that kill you. It's been your body set on fire from the voltage. You did well, Ben. You were just about to make me angry and then you made a joke. Beautiful. Instead of getting an electrical factor off. That's what podcasting is.

Oh, you got me. I was watching the documentary Hot Shots Part D. My daughter the other day. And I really like, what? Nothing. come in. And Saddam Hussein says to Charlie Sheen's character at some point,

and now I'm going to kill you till you die from it. Nice. And I think, put that on your poster too. Like that up there. That's good. It was said officers carried out urgent interviews with Ian Claughton, and he told him devices were crow scares, similar to Bangor type fireworks, which he had adapted and attached to trip wires to deter break.

I mean, oh, them's just crow scarers. You've got to know that he was so willing to tell the police about it because he was so proud. Oh, you'd be so excited. Oh, this? Oh, let me explain. Oh, let me explain. Oh, you got me. You got me.

This is recording? You're recording? Yeah. Body cam on. And here we go. It starts over here. I'll give you the tour. Oh, you thought it was real, just like a burglar.

You have burglar mind. Don't worry. You were never in danger. Fool. Foolish policeman. Under arrest for what? Oh. Oh, the cannabis grow.

Oh. Oh. Oh. And the boob traps. I'm at the combination arrested for Cabernet. Cabinus grow. Cabinus grow. Oh crap.

Oh crap. I most certainly shouldn't have told them about the 3,000 pounds of marijuana. One device on the back door was rigged to a trip wire, which was also connected to a 12-volt battery and an air horn. Meep. That's pretty cool, because you just get spooked. That'd scare me so bad. That'd scare me so bad. I'm going to need to start like using

I'm going to need to like get some of those loop things you know to stick in my ears yeah the older I get the worse my hearing damages and the more like loud environments and loud noises are fucking with me these days we went to trivia the other night

because I didn't have to do anything on the Thursday night and I was like oh we can all go out to trivia as a family What was your team name? Tell us the team name. One of my children nominated. John Trivialta. Okay. All right. Yeah, pretty good.

As long as it's not a, you know, one of the trivia Newton Johns or whatever, you can get the fuck out of here with that shit. Well, we'd been watching a lot of friends with the kids and somebody else had chosen a Joey Triviani. Yeah, classic. You'll hear that at every trivia you ever go to. Yeah. But yeah, it was, it was like a. up on screens it was multiple choice and they had these they deployed these buttons these these little mobile button things for you to press that had like five buttons a through

e and uh like fucking 10 seconds to answer a question uh it is rigged up to these screens and the worst audio i have ever coming out of this thing where there were a bunch of rounds where they're like okay now listen to the start of this song and then guess who it is and then they play a snippet of like the start of an acoustic guitar playing for like a 70s singer-songwriter type song, whisper

quiet, entire pub talking at the same time. And then people like, that's a bit quiet. And the lady's like, I'll turn it up just to touch. And then the audio starts going with everything that comes out of it is doing this loud, crunching.

And I was like, I can't be here. I can't a copy here. Yeah. I'm willing to say it. A lot of trivia people, not good at their sound stuff. Haven't really got their heads around the AV side of the job. Oh, it was a late start because it was like,

oh, I know we were going to start a little while ago. We're still trying to figure out how to do this with a mic. It's always like that. It's embarrassing. I could find someone in a pollicure to set up the AV. And it was very funny because the person who was having trouble setting up the, they had one of those portable speakers with like the mic

that's paired to it, you know. And when they were first announcing that they were late because they couldn't figure out the audio, they were doing it on a mic that unintentionally had heaps of reverb on it. Oh, my God. It sounded like they were making the announcement dub style, you know? That's okay. I was like, yeah, you do need to fix that. That's going to be really distracting.

That's fucking awesome. God damn. Another device was rigged in his bedroom, another air horn, I assume, and he had planned to put a third device inside a bag of paint to mark any intruder. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.

Just good clean fun. That's so good clean fun. I like that he's kind of, you know, showing his inspirations too. You know, I'm paying tribute to the greatest. Yeah. Yes. The band? Yep.

His home had been targeted by burglars previously who were believed to be looking for the cannabis grow and Claughton told officers he got the. the inspiration for his bube traps from the McCauley Culkin film Home Alone. That is so good to be an adult man telling adult police. You know Home Alone. You've seen Home Alone. You've seen Home Alone. The old movie, oh, classic though.

Classic film Home Alone. I know how we come up with it. Isn't it an unfortunate kind of reality of the job that, when you start farming cannabis, burglars start spawning on the edge of the map. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you got to put up the trap before they start. Yeah.

But you actually find that it's not interesting unless there is sort of some sort of obstacle. If you just sort of peacefully have the grow, the game doesn't actually like, doesn't change. There's no dynamic element to it. And you want the burglars to get a little bit more powerful after you've, you know, scale up with you. Scale up with you. You know, you play Minecraft on the creative or whatever and you're just going like, ah, what's a point.

Yeah. Why am I doing this? You know, just a look at it. Can't show my friends. I think it's funnier if the guy's explaining to the cops like they've never heard of Home Alone. Oh, that's really good. I recently discovered this 36-year-old film. Who knows?

It's Britain. It's a bit of a golden oldie. What's that then? I was born in 2005. Yeah. And my mum's a computer. There's nothing there. It is like that.

That episode was behind a paywall as well. You can't like it. It didn't make sense in that episode. It makes less sense outside of that episode. Got something else. Maybe we were laughing about Andrew's hair before the show. Oh, geez. Pump up the jams.

Mop up the jams. Maddie turned to me yesterday with no, no like context to this whatsoever. No through line. It was just like, Lucy really loves me. Mum's a computer team. Kind of can't stop. She does. Sometimes you have a joke of your own that you really like.

You just want to get some good mileage out of it. It doesn't matter if anybody else knows what you're talking about. In fact, it's better if they don't. Stop making sense. Stop making sense. Following the sentencing, senior investigating officer Detective Superintendent Al Burns of the Yorkshire and Humber regional organised crime unit said,

In Clodden, somebody who was clearly involved in drugs offending to a very significant degree. AAP has to have developed a siege mentality that saw him go to unusual and elaborate lengths in order to defend his home. And it's eliciting contents from would-be intruders. I want to give this guy some advice. If he would like to adopt a siege mentality, build on top of a hill, make sure you have 360 vision from all directions, make sure you have enough supplies to last a year or two. Fresh source of water.

Ideally, yep, you would like to have a moat, maybe one point of ingress, a fortified gate, murder holes for your crossbowmen to shoot out of. If your budget's going to switch that far, you're going to want hot pitch as well. Yes, absolutely. If you've got a lower budget, just like a rocking chair facing the door

when you're holding a shotgun. Yeah. I feel like that's also That's really the start of kit. Amphetamines, you, rocking chair, shotgun. Yeah. I get that like,

I get the inspiration for the paint bomb thing, but maybe, because you are in England, you know, look back to, look back to history, pay a little tribute, tar and feather an intruder,

you know? Yes. If you want someone to be identifiable as a potential cannabis thief, uh, try a little tar fella. Looks very funny in a police line up too. Yep.

You know, the cops are having, fun with it. They're like, oh, do you reckon you can recognize it and all the other the other people in the lineup are sniggering that the tar and feather man. Is this the man who got booby trapped and he's like,

yes, looking for your cannabis farm. Ooh. Shit. Fuck. Just that. Maybe I haven't seen this guy before. Ooh. Maybe I don't know

which fucking genius set up a trap to tar and feather this guy. now that I think about it. No, I can't say that one. Oh, wow. Okay. Oh, no, I was, well, I was going to say,

hey, England, it's got a lot of Polish people in it, and the English people don't seem to like that because of the way they are. It's very unfortunate. How about that? How about that? Yeah. Sometimes, there's Polish stuff, the poll report.

Hey, Ben, you know what we should have done? right at the start of this episode. Oh! Yeah. Right at the start of the episode. Oh. Live show, Sydney, Bigsoft titty.com, bontevista da podcast. Yeah, we said we'd never ever ever do a live show in Sydney or that we would do it very last after doing all the other ones first.

Sometimes life happens. Talk about. Tell me, when you're busy. You don't say no to Big Soft Titty. going to go to Sydney, exactly. Hey, we live. March 5th, get used to it. We're at the Carousel Bar and Ballroom, which I believe is in Darlinghurst.

Carousel Bar and Grill. On Oxford Street. Is that true? Could be. This is from Restaurant Business Magazine. You can get to. com slash live. This is from Restaurant Business Magazine.

How consumers really feel about protein and fiber? All right. Let's get into it. I'm going back into the fiber discourse. I have seen some kickback lately about why aren't we talking about fiber. We've ditched. People aren't eating enough fiber now.

It's insane. It's all anybody ever talks about. We talked about protein ages ago. Then we talked about how we've moved on to all the brands of promoting how much fiber they've got in there because there's a whole other world of people out there that are looking for this shit. Because they can't shit because of all the protein that they're eating. It's got it.

I think that's it. I think that's it. I'm not a doctor. I think it's just a lack of. To sell more fiber. Food has fiber in it. Fruit and vegetables have fiber in it. Bread.

Lettles. Beans. Yeah. Legumes. Legumes. Cale. It's a kale. Get some.

Just eat them. Get some legume. Eat a legume. Eat a legume. TikTok and Instagram fans are all over. TikTok and Instagram fans. That's a really, is anyone a TikTok and Instagram fan? Yeah, I'm more like the idea of it.

I think we all just like accept that it's drawn us in like a black hole, right? You're a huge. You're a TikTok and Instagram user like a drug. Consumer. You're a fucking consumer. Like they live. I'm taking off my glasses and you look all fucked up and inside out. The billboards all say you need more fiber.

More fiber, less posting. TikTok and Instagram fans are all over protein and fiber, quote, maxing as the keys to health and fitness. Oh, Christ. You're getting fiber mugged. I don't want to. I'm enough of this shit. Getting shit-mogged by a fibromaxo. But how much are these viral trends impacting everyday food choices?

And how can they work to a restaurant's advantage? GLP1 diets may have initially put the focus on these two nutrients, but now over half of consumers actively seek high-protein meals according to revenue management solutions. Survey data in the company's 2026 protein and fiber playbook reveals that nearly 40% are even willing to pay more for protein-rich menu items.

I mean, I'm willing to pay more for something that's got fucking chicken in it because you had to buy the chicken, you know? Yeah. What are we talking about here? You go to Chipotle and get yourself a bowl. The GYG is like they've got like a protein burrito.

They're like, it's just got extra. Do they just put the chicken and beans in it? I think they just put more meat in it. Jesus Christ. What's more nearly 50% would switch restaurant brands for meals with higher protein, a stat that has pushed operators to pack more protein into food and drink items. Dinner is when restaurants can benefit the most, with 53% of consumers associating

protein with that meal occasion, 25% see breakfast as a protein eating opportunity. Hey, you guys want to go out for a meal occasion? Yeah. I love seeing my meals as a protein opportunity. This is so sad. Restaurants may reap benefits from another RMS finding. 58% diners are likely to order from a protein rich menu section. Although protein grams are increasingly enlisted on menus,

it's more unusual to find a menu section dedicated to high protein items. If I see that shit on your menu, I am walking out. I am leaving. Going to Waffle House and just immediately searching for like the protein section of the menu. Oh, there would be. I bet Denny's got one at this point. I've got to get my teen. This is so fucked.

If you're like, you're at the Budrum Tavern and they're listing the average protein in like the steak and chips or whatever. Like this is no way to live. Protein demand has been strong for a couple of years now, but fiber is more recent, must have in health and fitness circles. RMS found that nearly one third of consumers prioritise fiber when eating out with interest higher among millennials, frequent diners and GLP1 users.

What are you doing? What? Oh my God. I know that some of you like to go to the gym. You've got to get your gains or whatever. And I think it's disgusting, but it's fine that you do it. It's disgusting. But just be normal about it.

But just try to enjoy life sometimes. Like eating out, try to not see eating out at a restaurant as a protein occasion. Yeah. It's just some life advice towards happiness that I can give. Also, like, anybody who cares heaps about protein and shit because of their gym routine is already has industrial-sized bags of protein powder. They've got tub. They're doing their shakes.

They've got the creatine. all that shit. Like they're already, they've already like mutated their eating habits into a frightening form. You know? To me anyway. Although hashtag fiber maxing and hashtag fiber maxing

have garnered over 150 million views on TikTok, that is fiber spelled both ways, American style and everyone else style. Or with a pH? That's right. About two-thirds of consumers say they fall short or don't know how much they consume, according to the IFIC Spotlight Survey, Americans' perceptions of fibre and whole grains.

It's normal to not know how much fiber you eat. Yeah, I don't think we should be including that as a statistic. I don't know how much fiber I ate because I'm fine and I'm not like, I'm not looking for a solution to what's going on with me. Yeah. I just sort of eat food every now and then I eat a lot of trash and I go, we should eat more vegetables tomorrow and then the next day we eat more vegetables. And the cycle continues.

Yeah, the guidance on this was already like so easy. The guidance on this was just eat like a bunch of cups of vegetables every day. That's it. You're done. You're sorted. You don't need to think about it in any more of a complicated way than that. That's fibromaxing. Yeah.

Put some brocolini on your Weber when you're doing your steak. Bam, done. That's dinner. about one third of the 1006 adults surveyed by IFIC reported they consume fewer than 20 grams of fiber a day while the recommended amount is closer to 25 to 30 grams. No idea. Don't care. Quote, fiber is suddenly everywhere in the wellness conversation. Yet our data show most Americans still don't know how much they need or where to get it, said IFIC president and CEO Wendy Reinhart in a statement.

There's a real disconnect between cultural hype and everyday understanding and action. you mean a statement like she had to front the press to talk about this fiber this is surely like honestly a side effect of all the of all the protein maxing right i don't know enough about how the human body works also all the protein stuff is full of the artificial sweeteners that give you diarrhea oh oh i didn't know that yeah they're like they're all sweetened with erythrotol and shit which is like you're only meant to have like one thing a day like protein bars Arethratol. You've got a phytol. You've got a phytol. But this is why they're all needing fiber. Okay.

Like, damn, why are my shit's weird? It's because of all the protein that you're having. At least our fad diets. No, there's nothing good to say about any of the fad diets. It's just weird seeing more of them come around and seeing like the products that have, like, I guess we used to have tons of stuff that was like your carbohydrate-free. Yeah. Keto-kato is big.

beer or whatever. It still exists. What's the Bighead? Is that burly brewing? Bighead was the carb-free beer that I used to obsessively drink because I was worried if I had a single carb, I'd become horrible. Yeah. But now carbs are fine, as long as we're getting 800 grams of protein beer.

Yeah. You make that protein beer. It's got flotings in there. IFIC found that nearly half of Americans know that fruits of vegetables are good sources of fiber, but there's less awareness around beans. and grains. That's, that,

okay, first of all, the number is so low. That's so low. That's so low. Oh my God. Uh, fruits and vegetables.

I think I've heard of it. No, that doesn't say, right. Uh, it would be called like fiber vegetables if they had fiber in them.

Fuck, that's so bleak. Where do you think fiber comes from? If it's not that. Do you think it only, thinking about fiber? It's Pepsi,

I guess. Pepsi. Mainly Pepsi. Coffee as well. I'm from fiber Pepsi. I get my fiber from Pepsi. But RMS believes that developing high fiber options now positions restaurants ahead of the curve in 2026 and beyond.

If you can't have a fiber section on your fucking menu. But they've been doing this. I'm not going to order from the fiber section. It's embarrassing. On a first date. For decades now, like a high fiber little tag on some menus, right? Whereas got like the little wheat symbol or something, right? I think that's a gluten.

I'm pretty sure that's gluten. That's gluten. Gluten, dog. No, I'm thinking of fibre. I'm definitely thinking fiber. I know what the fuck gluten is. Where are you going that you're saying this? We don't also have the thing in America where they put the like calories and stuff on everything.

Like every menu has like calorie information. You're picking the single most psychotic cafe in the world to see if it's on their menus. To prove my point. Yes. Also, the cafe with the largest menu in the history. Yeah. Yeah, that might work. In its survey of 951 adult Americans.

They got these following discoveries. 45% sometimes, often or always, look for high fiber options on a menu. 38% claim digestive or, quote, gut health is the primary reason to order a higher fiber meal. And Ben was using scare quotes there, by the way. Because they did. Because he doesn't believe. Okay. The gut has health.

41% are likely to order from a fiber-rich menu section. 30% are likely to choose a meal because it's high fiber. 25% are willing to pay more for a high fiber meal. Quote, fiber today is where... Just be normal. Just be normal. Just like you don't have to just eat whatever your body's telling you. And if your body is telling you to eat from the misery section of the menus,

go on and have a big old bowl of misery. Yeah. Fuck. Quote, fiber today is where protein was years ago. The RMS report concludes. First movers will capture market share before competition. heats up yielding long-term return. So if you start saying this on menus, obviously, we've got this to you ahead of the curve.

Barish, fiber is bearish. Yeah, we are bearish on fiber, but it brings us no joy. I think, like, if we're talking about it as our axiom goes, it's already done. What next? What is it next? What can it be next? Resodium maxing. Turns out sodium's really good for you.

You just need to have enough. None of us have been eating enough sodium. Yeah, all our blood pressure is too low. Get that blood pressure higher. Fuck. Did you check out the cafe 63 menu? Yeah, no, no high fiber thing. I don't think I've ever seen that on a menu of my life.

You just saw a piece of wheat and you were like, that's the fiber one. Must be fiber. I'm one of the few people that knows that fiber is ingrained. That's not what happened, just by the way. Hey, if somehow this story touched close to your life, you could talk to us about it in a segment that we call, You Report, We Decide. another way around?

Let's find out from the song. We report and you decide that's what we usually do. But sometimes we find out that something happened to you. Maybe you were posting up on the corner and you saw it with the guys. Whatever it is, just let us know. You report and we decide. Oh, oh, oh. Mailbag at both of vista.com.

Yeah. You report and we decide. I love that the lead synth in that song sounds like you got Trent Reznor and Atticus, what's his name's One Room Over. Keep it down in there, boys. They're hammering on the wall saying, hey, we're recording hand covers bruise over here. This comes to us from listener Aiden. This is in response to the most recent bonus episode, which Lucy and Andrew, you were not on.

That is the Theophiles 15. Skip it. skip it. Maybe you'll learn something. I don't like it when it doesn't include all of us, actually. I just don't think it's sort of your speed. I just don't think you'd enjoy it. That is, the Theophiles 15,

the little flappy bits of Sweden slash a clonis listonis. He writes, Hi, Buntas of Vista. So I'm an ecologist. I did a master's thesis about six years ago on magpie vocalizations. Essentially, the species can combine individual vocalizations into complex structures

similar to that of dolphins, elephants, and some parrots, making them one of the only non-primate species in the world to be able to do so. Pretty cool. And they mainly use it to say, Can I have a snack? I'll kill you. I'll fucking kill you. I'll pick your fucking eyes out, you little cunt.

But they do it so beautifully. Already, that's pretty cool. It's a cool thing for someone that listens to this show to do and that magpies can do that. Well done magpies. Well done magpies. In doing this, lots of questions come up about why language evolved and why some species have more complex communication than others.

The reason for my email is to tell you that as part of this research, I learned the link between complex communication, a species, various challenges in the wild, their group size, and the emergent properties of consciousness, please see below. So he's given us a list here. Excuse me. Okay. All right. So the episode we were talking about how, I don't want to ruin the twist here, but some very strange things happen to the human brain when it gets cut in half. When you chop it in half, yeah.

I have heard this. And you find some stuff that makes you really wonder, what am I? How many of me are me, you know? The list goes, number one, species live in a big group for protection, food gathering, access to mates or whatever. Step two, this comes with challenges. For example, a requirement to keep track of a larger number of individuals, rank their social standing, identify different mates, work out who's related, etc. 3A, the species must evolve vocalization that can pass this information to each other.

3B, they must evolve the brain capacity intelligence to face these challenges and process the more complex vocalizations. Step 4, a species develops consciousness as a natural consequence of the brain evolving to deal with all this. So it's saying that consciousness emerges from having to deal with just a bunch of complexity just sort of naturally arises in the brain. this is part of why animal behavioral science is given funding because this is a foundation for a theory of human language evolution and a theory of consciousness as an emergent property of species which grouped together. Big group mean big brain and language.

Big brain mean consciousness. So a stupid thought experiment I used to bring in my friends was if complex vocal structure is a first step in this kind of evolution, what would be the worst species to develop consciousness next? We're talking dolphins, elephants, magpies, some parrot species. It's been six years since I wrote my thesis, so probably others, but I can't be fucked looking back into this whole school of thought. If not worth reading on the pod, hopefully a fun tidbit for one of you nerds, sincerely yours, Aidan. That is fun.

That is fun to think about, isn't it? I mean, this isn't like the worst one, but wouldn't it, because whales have like social structures, not big ones, obviously. Well, I guess some species, but complex vocal structures. Wales with consciousness love that idea so much. It would be like Avatar 2, the way of water. That'd be beautiful. That'd be the whale of water. Dolphins, I don't like.

No, I don't like. No, dolphins are dicks. They'd be rude. They'd be taunting me. They'd be making sexual threats. And they're jacking off the whole time as well, yeah. Yeah. Oh, did you guys see that video going around of the, I think they were Yangtze River dolphins?

And one of them was swimming upside down and had its penis out of the water and was pissing in a fountain style onto the surface of the river and another dolphin was coming up and mouth open just going, maw-oh, my goodness. No, not in my algorithm. You guys didn't see that? No, I thought it was blowing up everywhere because I saw it. I presume that everybody else must have. I just don't want to be down on the pier and here.

Hey, come over here. Hey, come over here for a second. Yeah, and then he just flips over and shows his whole red cock. Yeah. You like this. Don't know. Petus. Ever seen a guy piss up in the sky?

Look, look, look, look. Please. Laylis. Please look. Oh, no, he does have a little red penis. I don't like that at all. Oh, that's awful. Oh, he's going to have thought you would like it.

That seems like your sort of thing, Lucy. I brought it up because I thought you would like that. I'm not sure you're into. I strong recommend for everybody to check out the movie Day of the Dolphin from the 70s starring George E. Scott, which as we all know, was based on the inspired by the work of John C. Lilly from episode 8 of the Dolop, the Dolphin, where their way they figured that dolphins would learn to speak English is one of the most unpleasant things to listen to in the whole world. It's very, very, very bad.

Nasty. Hey, I think this has been an episode of the podcast, Punta Vista. Thank you so much for listening. If you're in Sydney, Newcastle, Wollongong, the Blue Mountains. Earth. Yeah, just somewhere sort of near Sydney. Get there. Hop on the train from Aubrey Wadonga or whatever.

Just come on down. A chukammer. Wherever. Go crazy. Maybe that's a little bit far. How much, I don't know. How much do you like us? Dobbo.

Orange. Yeah, we're probably only ever going to do the one show in Sydney. So make sure you come to it. We will probably do Melbourne at some point as well. If you've got a really sweet deal on a venue that can fit between 200 and 250 people, you let us know. And we will, you know, get around to it, you know, in a couple of years or whatever. It'll be so fun.

Yeah. This year? Yeah, maybe. It's early. It's only February. Only if you want us to, though. Like, if you don't want us to, we won't do it. You guys aren't even going to come with.

We won't worry about it. Now, you know what? It's kind of more of a Sydney thing. Can he say that? I don't think Melbourne people would get it. Sound other than the comments if you'd get it. And if you think we're hot. We will talk to you next week.

Blativist.com slash live for those tickets. They are selling fast, which is something people usually say when they're desperate to sell tickets. They are selling fast. We want you to have a ticket. Yeah, we're like over half a hand's been like 36 hours or something. Also, regardless, I would lie about anything to make money. One of us is telling the truth and one of us can only lie. And two of us are a little dism.

Minimum. We will talk to you on the bonus episode. Bye. Bye. Bye.