Boonta Vista - EPISODE 435: Fingered By Pigman?

Episode Date: March 1, 2026

Lucy, Theo, Andrew, and Ben bring you: Living long enough to get your elderly son a free feed, a World War 2-era cryptid in an English forest, and an elaborate legal loophole to preserve whale remains. *** Outro: New Land Old Sun - Barge With An Antenna On It *** Support our show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista *** Email the show at [e-mail]! Call in and leave us a question or a message on 1800-317-515 to be answered on the show! *** Website: boontavista.com Twitch: twitch.tv/boontavista

Welcome to this episode 435. My name is Andrew and I'm just trying to ignore some of that stuff that's going on out there, you know? I'm here in my house. It's fine. It's fine. Everything's fine. I'm giving really strong consideration to turning my phone face down on the counter for the next, say, 72 hours. Sometimes it's just stuff going on.

you don't have to spend all day thinking about it, you know. Sometimes you can listen to your favorite, Australian, comedy, current events, podcasts. You don't have to be upset by everything that's going on. It's perfectly valid to do that. But you've got to take breaks, you know. You've got to pace yourself. Here with me is my friend, Lucy. Lucy, how are you just kind of not engaging with the upsetting nature of the world?

I'm not ignoring it. I'm engaging with it constantly and it's causing me consistent psychic damage. Right. So, and you would say that's working for you, that's not working for you, something's happening, but something that's happening isn't good to you? Well, actually, here's a good strategy, actually, is if you want to play Kingdom Hearts too, because when your hands are on the controller, you can't look at your phone. What are you playing that on?

Because you need both hands, PS5. Is it like a PS4 port? No, it's just that. There's a PS5 version. Yeah, yeah, it's not brand new. It's just a remaster. But yeah, if your hands are on a PlayStation controller, you can't look at what's on your phone.

That's my life advice for these days. Scrolling a website that used to be called Twitter, you know? Yeah. Although we started playing Ace Combat 6, 5, whatever that is yesterday. And it's about like a false flag attack causing like wars between like the UN stand in and... East Europe and like oh okay all right we're doing this in the game now too you should check out Kingdom Hearts too okay any like there's no NATO any parallels any allegories to the yeah yeah I think so

oh no Jafar is an imminent threat oh oh oh god we have to do a preemptive strike yeah here's Theo hey Theo how do you are How are you just kind of, just kind of blocking it out? Well, I'm going to, I'm going to live shows apparently. I went to Black Country New Road last night, but they were flying the Palestinian flag the whole time. So I'm kind of going like, oh yeah, the genocide. And it was like a weirdly rowdy crowd.

Like a bunch of people were already drunk. And this guy up the front yelled out like, God save the king. And like the whole band booed him. And the crowd booed him. And then he like immediately switched. course. Like he had a little think about it, kind of like,

like there's a very pregnant pause in between. Then he goes, free Palestine. And everyone goes, yeah. Turned it around. Incredible areas. Well, that's just baffling. Should it, should have specified,

he could have switched gears by specifying a good king that he was cheering. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I didn't need Charles. Oh. The kings we love. The Burger King.

Yes. I meant the Burger King. I was thinking of my favorite monarch. That nasty guy that like sneaks up on people and gives them burgers? What's he doing sneaking up on people in those ads? To be clear. You remember the-cneeking up on people? The burger key?

They made the like, the like ironically edgy ads like I want to say five or ten years ago. Well, these American ones and he looked creepy as fuck. It looked creepy. That's the one I support. That's sort of a meme, I think. Yeah. See like a meme on 4chan or something that face? Oh.

It's a real guy, but he's got just. a humanoid burger king mask. And it's the same size as a normal head. It's got a bit of the air of like, you ever see those guys online who make the latex masks? Or like they buy the latex masks and just put them on or like walk around in public with them and say,

nobody knows. You see those guys? I haven't. But this guy's horrible. They just walk around saying nobody knows. Nobody knows. Nobody knows. Meanwhile, they look exactly like Ryan Gosling

and that's, seen from drive where he's looking through the window. Talking about Ryan Gosling, nobody knows. Nobody knows. I hate the Burger King. He's fucked. He's unpleasant. I think he was, that was the start of what I have come to call evil advertising. Yep.

Where, you know, they'd sort of make it as nasty as possible. Like, you remember when they killed the peanut? They killed Mr. Peanut. They killed Mr. Peanut. And then from... Killed Mr. Peanut was reborn. Yeah, then a baby Peanut came out. of him.

Yeah. He was pregnant with himself. Baby nut. Oh, baby nut? Yeah. Is that baby nut? He had his own baby nut inside his nut. Yeah.

Father, son and the Holy Ghost, you know? Yeah, that's right. Mr. Peanut is not the baby nut. Yeah. But he is in another sense also he is that as well. Yeah. And the nut ghost. Yeah.

Really makes you think. There's Ben. Ben. How are you switching it all off, brother? Um, I'm just trying my best. Last night I got home from work, smoked a fat blunt. And then as I was smoking a fat blunt,

I was looking at Instagram and saw lots of posts about the news and then got really sad. That was just not a good time. Then I watched aliens and drank some really oxidized white wine that I took from work. Nice. And I was able to sort of push it out of my brain for a couple hours. It's pretty good.

And I woke up and then I saw the news and it was much worse. Yep. No. It would be a lesson, folks. You can temporarily allay the horrible feelings of the world through substance abuse. That's right. That's true, yeah. That's kind of what it's for.

That's kind of what the substances are for. That's what they're for. Donald Draper. Didn't even get anything good out of this. That's what the substances were for. That's why we give you a fat baseball bat full of Northern Lights. Tune it out for just a little while. Oh, man.

Yeah, I guess we, I guess we're doing more in the Middle East now. And it's like kind of just coming off of the conveyor belt. I'm telling you, man, everything old is new again. Everything old is new? 2000s revival. Right, 2000s revival. Preemptive striking agriborba.

All the kids are getting brain fucked off of depleted uranium again. Am I on the security council? Can I do vetoes? How does this work? Oh. You got to laugh. You got to laugh. You have to laugh.

You have to try. I don't know if you have to kill myself. What are you going to do? It was the time. What do you got to do? Are you seriously not laughing right now? Please be laughing. You have to laugh.

We're not going to talk about this stuff at the live show, by the way. This is probably won't be. This is just on the day. This is the day of and we haven't even been explicit. Yeah. That's right. We could be talking about anything. We could be talking about anything.

We can be talking about anything. We're talking about regions Regional bullshit This is Regional bullshit Every little town has got their own bullshit Regional bullshit Every little town has just got to have it

This was sent it to us by listener Cam Which is to say that yesterday at the bar He told me about it in person Thank you Cam Who did send it to you? Yeah. He sent it to me over the airwaves, brother. It's all just vibrations.

From mind to mind. This is from WPMI. Whip me. Dad, 99, and son, 80, hold Winsel's oyster house to their promise of free oysters. Yes. It's time somebody held them to account. Yes, yes. Speak truth to power kings.

2026 is the year of accountability other than a... stuff we just talked about. Yeah, just like oyster houses. The big stuff nobody will ever face consequences for. But the oysters? The oysters. There was a story I was looking at yesterday where I was staring at it for like 10 minutes being like, I really want to put this in the show notes, but there's genuinely nothing funny about it.

And the story was just that a guy broke into a like fish restaurant and then stole the money they have in the till and the safe. that's it. There's nothing crazy about it. Nothing funny about it. There was just one sentence in there that I couldn't get over. They described what he did as burglarizing a fish house. And the phrase, burglarizing a fish house, oh my God, he's burglarized a fish house. Oh, to burglarize a fish house. To burglarize a fish house. Honestly. Language is so beautiful.

I can see here, young man, that you have a record relatively clear of any trouble in the past. You come from a good home. You know, you've received a fine education, and that is why I cannot be lenient with your actions. You, young man, have burglarized a fish house. For the last time. For the last time. You've burglarized your last fish house.

A promising career. Devastated the lives of each fish contained therein. He didn't even steal the fish. If he'd sold a fish, there would have been something there. It's just money. Yeah. Oh, to burglarize money from a fish house. Yeah.

Yeah. That's just, that's just greed, isn't it? That's also a funny way of just saying stole, burglarizing money. That guy burglarized some money.

Fish house is great though as well because, you know, like, why are we saying that instead of restaurant? Why are we saying that instead of restaurant? Yeah. Why are we saying a oyster house here?

Winsle's oyster house. They only got oysters? Winsle's fine house of oysters. You all got anything other than oysters? You also don't hear, you don't hear like a Winsels anymore. That's a good sounding old timey name.

Yeah. It's nice. I like it. Edward Winsel anymore or whatever. They got rid of that in the 40s. Quietly climbing into bed at 3 a.m. Disturbing my wife who rolls over. You've been in that fucking oyster house again, haven't you?

Mr. Winsle. Jim Rush has a constant craving for oysters. Just like that song. I think that's what that song's about, right? It's such a beautiful song. just close your eyes and listen to constant craving. No idea what you're talking about. I don't know what you're talking about.

A beautiful woman. I wonder if she's single. I wish I had an oyster. It's probably about that. I think that that is what it's about. He always has, at least for most of his 99 years. How does he do it? Quote, open them and eat them.

Ah, that's why I've been going wrong. It's a secret. Nearly a century on this earth. Yeah, you don't want to be, don't want to be swollen those, Bab. boy's hole. Oh, they cut you up so bad on the way down for you now. I've been getting enough trouble, like very damaged esophagus.

My doctors keep telling me I have to stop. So I've been trying them as suppositories. Yeah. And that is equally, equally difficult. I've been shelving your oysters. Oh, I just got a TV show, downloaded a TV show. We'll put it a Lplex called My Strange Addiction. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I haven't encountered this before and I was like maybe this will be a little fun because I saw a little clip of a woman just saw a little clip from this show of a woman on a date with a guy and he's like yeah we've gone out a nice date and they both get ice coffees

and she goes oh boy I've been hanging out for this ice coffee and then she puts the straw up one nostril and holds the other nostril and drinks her ice coffee through her nose sure I don't think you're supposed to do that unnecessarily performative even if you can do it. And she, as she moves away from the drink,

like a little rivulet of ice coffee comes out of her nose. And she's dabbing it with a napkin. And the guy she's on a date with goes, Huh? Is this why the cameras are here? Because of that that you just did? And I thought maybe this show will be a little bit of fun and downloaded it and threw a few episodes on and was like,

oh, this is all deeply, deeply unwell people. dealing with their strange things they cannot stop themselves I feel like the title could have given you a hint on that my regular indication but I guess my curiosity was like how much of this is

I think even just reading the descriptions you get a clear picture that there's like some of them is just good old fashioned fetishists you know guy whose house is full of 50,000 balloons at all times that he really like stepping on and everything there's a bunch of that sort of stuff

there's the things that are obviously just some substance abuse type issue like the woman saying I drink like six bottles of nail polish a day it burns going down but it's just kind of tasty it tastes thick I bet it's tasty I feel like you know it's got kind of an appeal

she said it tastes thick it is it would and then there's the ones that like where it's not really hurting anybody but they are also just a kind of anti-social behavior. Like, I just hang out eating my cat's treats. And do they treat these people?

Like, do they get mental health treatment? I haven't got far enough into any of the episodes to find out because I'm always five minutes in and I go, I gotta get out of here. I think I got to delete this. I think I got to delete this. Anyway, I'm waiting for an episode about... Crunching on oysters.

Sholving oysters. Yeah, I'm sure that'll come up. Does he put anything on them? Quote, not if I'm opening my own oysters. He says, firmly. No. Honestly, for something to get onto my oyster,

some bad actor would have to intercede. They would have to contact my oyster when it was away from me. If you're opening your own oyster though, you get to decide. Right? That's your choice. Have them your way. Yeah. Oistice is your way.

Open your oyster your way. Are you need to have to open your own oyster? Put a little sauce on it if you want. Well, the shucking's part of the fun. Yeah. Is it? Yeah, that's why they sell shirts. They're like, I got chucked in the house.

I got chucked in the house. And there's our oyster that's like blushing. It's got like a cute little blush face. And the shape of it, the shape of these oysters, have you guys noticed a little something about like maybe? Like if you look just geometrically at the shape of a, of like a slightly opened oyster. I'm kind of doing my hands here. You sound kind of like a butterfly. Yeah, like a beautiful flower.

Yeah, like a beautiful flower. Like just opening and burning. Something that's in bloom. Touched with dew. I was thinking of a pussy hole. Oh. Oh. Okay.

I guess that's why Katie Lang wrote that song about them. She's gay. And that was novel when we were young. It was crazy that there was an openly gay lady. Who? What? Katie Lang, constant craving from the start of the article. Oh.

I didn't know a thing. You don't know constant craving by Katie Lerang? Maybe if I heard it. No, I'm into like circus music from England. Yeah. But Monday, Jim wasn't opening his own oysters. No, the folks at Winsel's Oyster House in Mobile, Alabama, did the shucking forum. Does that mean he was getting stuff put on them that he didn't want?

I guess so, if that's the rule that he established earlier. Although he didn't say it would be certainly that stuff would be put on them, just certainly stuff wouldn't be put on them if he was doing it. And it's good to have this chat beforehand if you're like, just be mature about it. Yeah. Yeah. If you're getting someone else to shuck your oyster. It's probably pretty mature.

It's perfectly okay to just tell someone how you like your oyster to be shucked as well. Like you can have that communication as a very like open, forthright dialogue. Absolutely. A lot of people are scared to do that. You're 99. You're in the prime of your oyster shucking life. Yeah. This also reminds me, like, so the 99-year-old guy has an 80-year-old side.

I was literally just reading my physical copy of The Onion on the way to the show last night. Yeah, you texted us a photo of that while you were on the bus yesterday. Apes Tits, amazing. No, Apes Tits incredible. I opened that message while I was behind the bar standing with my beautiful wife. And I was like, oh, Theo just sent me this funny picture. She just gave me a look of disgust. Anyway, there's a headline in there

There's like old man's son also old And it's just a photo of two old guys Yeah, that's kind of what this situation is That's kind of what this is He's an 80 year old son That's fat 80 year old son yeah You think you're still being like

Hey take grab grab a knee Yeah Let's chat And when he dies at age 99 and a half Like the head The kind of the obituary will read Like he was barely survived by his son Who is also

old as fuck. It was part of a birthday party for Jim's son, Jimmy Jr., who turned 80 years old. 80 year old Jimmy Jr. You're not Jimmy Jr. You're not Jimmy. And you're not Jimmy. You're James now, okay?

I'm James the current. Maybe Jim. Yeah. That's the younger Jim. Yeah. Jim loves oysters, no doubt about it. And Winsles is very good at serving them. They've been doing it since 1938.

It's there in the name. So that's, they've been doing it. They could have been there since 1938, right? Yeah, well, because he was 11, I guess, when they opened. That's probably wrong. But somewhere in that ballpark. Yeah, who cares? Yeah, it doesn't.

Don't worry about that. He might have been gone there his whole life. But there's another reason why Jim and his family came here on this particular day to eat oysters. And that reason is right up there on the wall. Out of the thousands of little postings of sage wisdom on the walls at Winsles, there's this one. Quote, free oysters to any man

80 years old accompanied by his father. That's just, what? They wrote, they wrote this and put it on the wall, right?

I got this like plaque printed free oysters for anyone 80 and these 99-year-old dad. I think this is one of those like public domain sort of joke signs you'd have in a little cafe

or a restaurant or a pub or or whatever. It's really specific though. Yeah. Yeah. And then some cunt comes in, Yeah. With his 99-year-old dad.

His wizard boy. Let's see some idea. I think you're just too old guys. Son, let's take these guys to the cleanest. For all they were. What's the joke here? What do you mean? Free oysters for anyone 80 and his son.

Yeah, it's like we're probably not going to give out free oysters, probably. Because you're too old. If you meet these crazy conditions. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, you know, you'll be in a bar and they'll have a sign of the back. It's like free beer on days that don't end in why or whatever. What's the sign say again?

Free oysters. The sign says free oysters to any man, 80 years old, accompanied by his father. Does that mean for the entire year? He's got one whole year of free oysters? If you didn't mean it, why'd you put up the sign? Yeah. It's not 80 plus years. That's still 12 months.

How many days a week are you open? Do you do a lunch and a dinner? What state did you say this was in, Ben? We're doing Bellabast. Is this an open carry state? Probably. Alabama, I assume so. Probably concealed, open, akimbo.

They both walk in. They put their thumbs into their jeans, like the oldest fucking revolve you've ever seen. You got that sign over there. I'm unholstering my gun and using my gun to tap the sign. Take, ding. I bet you start. them oysters out.

I use this in one of the civil wars. Spanish, and I was on the wrong side. The Boer War. How many oysters are these guys going to eat? Just give them their oysters. Yeah, for a year. Just for the oysters in a bag, pal. They've been planning to take advantage of that promise for some time.

Quote, oh yes, says his son, Jimmy Jr. Years. My brother's seen it. We've talked about it, come down and looked at it many times to make sure. And we asked about, is this for real? How many words are on that sign? We've been plotting this for years. I can't see no loophole in this, boss.

Going back to check is very funny as well. Because you know they're not taking a photo on their phone because their phone doesn't do that. Yeah. But like, you just, well, you know what? I might have misremembered it. You know, my mind does tend to wander these days. Just hoping your old dad doesn't die.

Give me another year. We need you to live. Live, puppy. I can taste those oysters. Jim Senior developed his affection for these slick little sliders. Don't. He was growing up and transferred his fancy for the shellfish to his daughter and sons who grew up on Mobile Bay where the oysters were there for the taking.

Quote, it wasn't very deep, says his daughter, Dorothy. It was only about eight feet deep, but they would go out with the tongs and tong it and bring them in and we lined up. What? It was a craving Jim took with him into the Navy where he served in both World War II and the Korean conflict. Then to his job at the post office

where he worked for 32 years and Winsells became his go-to. His guy's had a classic old guy life. Two wars. Double war in it. American post-war career. The ideal American life. Two more wars and then the post office.

He probably got a pension from the post office job too. like probably like a good one they probably gave him a gold watch when he left he was probably afford the oysters that's right Winsles became his go-to and then his sons saw that sign quote a lot of the signs in here are novelty

that's a novelty kind of you know but when it happens it kind of breaks the novelty of it oh when novelty becomes real yeah where the novelty becomes un-noveless now it becomes a legal situation when a novelty becomes a reality A binding contract. Is there sort of like a social contract where we know that the novelty sign is not to be taken seriously?

Is this like a violation of the social contract? Looking at facial cues on the restaurant owner's face. Pointing at the sign, looking at his face. Are we? Smiling? Joking. Smiling, eyebrows raised, laughter. Happy, joyful?

Mike Vickers is the general manager at the original manager at the original manager at the original. original Winssels downtown where that sign's been hanging for well about 88 years. What is it about oysters? Quote, I'm beginning to think it's longevity, giving people longevity, because everybody that comes in, you know, they've been around a long time and remember things. What's this the survivorship bias? What's that one called? The things that are still existing are the best examples of things because they still exist.

The people that are still coming in are very old because they're the ones that are still coming in. Painting red dots on a plane. They're dead. They're dead. It stops them from getting shot. It's the red dots on the plane. Red dots on the plane.

That would be a lot of it. But it's also, you know, kind of like that sitting at the bar and talking to the bartender. It's just the food version, you know, sitting at the oyster bar talking to the oyster shucker. What? So much nastier. Another round. What? I love that.

Give me another two of those. Yeah, shuck them for me. Let me watch you shuck them. I want to watch you shuck them. Do they have like a little. Do they have like a little drain tray on the bar for like all the dribbins? Like a trough. Like a trough.

Like a trough. Like a, not so much a trough. I guess it's a trough. Hey, business idea. Do you have it for beers too? Like when you're filling up the beer and like the excess beer goes in a little. A little wet, wet kind of. I think it's like an oyster drip tray.

Yeah. I'm sure there is. Yeah. Business idea copyright 2026. Punta Vista. You know, you guys seen those Japanese noodle places where there's like a little running stream in like a bamboo thing and they're like float the noodles down it? No, that sounds kind of fun. Yeah.

It does. It looks very cool. Apparently it's not great from a food safety perspective. But imagine having a nice wet, freshly shucked oyster sliding down a pipe towards you and you got to grab it on the way past. You don't have to grab it. Sometimes you can just watch it. on its way from here to there. Just accept it for what it is.

Those are my noodles and I'm going to let them pass me by. I am an oyster floating on a chlorinated flow into the train. Let me get half a dozen freshly shucked him. I'll have them travelling style. Let them go. Float some more of those Fitzpatrick's down to me, would you boss? Oysters Fitzpatrick? Sliding it down the bar.

Not quite right. Is that what it is? What is it? Oyster's Fitzgerald. Kill Patrick. You're close. It was just, oh, hang on. Having a couple of oysters fit Simmons.

Is there a variation? Why not? What the fuck are oysters Kirk Patrick? That's it, isn't it? Yeah, that's it. I was thinking, well, I also called Oisers Kill Patrick or Oyster's Phil Patrick's spelt, F-I-L like the man. Sorry, P-H-I-L like the man's name, Phil Patrick.

Interesting. Chef Ernest Arbogast invented them. So I guess everything's right except my one. Yes, yeah, there were lots of options and you didn't pick the correct one. Which, you know, seems like it's happening more and more. Some microcosming up on me. I don't know about that. What is it about?

Nope, already said that one. But enough talk. Jim came here to eat for free, of course. Enough talk. Oyster. We got to the fireworks factory. I don't know about this. Doesn't it say any man of 80 years age who comes in with his father eats for free,

which means Jimmy does. The son should get to eat. Only that Jimmy Jr. should be eaten for free. Like I guess that they could each order their dozen oysters and then they could swap so that technically the older gym was eating the free oysters. But that's like robbing Peter to pay a poll or whatever. I'm putting the, it's Robin Jimmy Jr. to pay Jimmy Senior. I'm putting him down and saying, and no sharing.

Yeah, no swapsies, no shares, he's. This guy got, this guy's getting Twilight Zone. Because he was like, finally all the free oysters my family can eat. But it's for his family to eat, not for him. Not for him. All he can ever do is sit and watch his son slurp down oyster after oyster, just wish him. Is a man not his own family? Or is that a different thing?

So I'm imagining him putting on a little bib like that, and I remembering the... You got out of a bib, right? Absolutely fucked Cincinnati chili ad you posted on the Instagram. That was really upsetting, actually. The one was the guy that looked like a haunted doll? That look like, how can people move? There are aliens among us, is all I could say, right? Oh, yeah, they live in our skins.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and they live only to go on to, like, local TV to visit a restaurant for a particular anniversary or whatever it may be and smile and have a little, jaunty little bib put on them and just look like a freaky, gray aliens and asking. Yeah, the bib people, they're out there. The bib people. The people that also start clapping whatever, like a birthday cake comes out of a restaurant, the way to start seeing happy.

Oh my God. Is this a distinction that gets you called a house as if people got to wear a bib while they're eating the food? I feel like if they put a bib on you, it's a house. Americans are surprisingly chill with having a bib at dinner. But they won't wear a mask on the bus. That's true. That says a lot about society. At 99 he's ready to do it all over again.

When Carl, son number two... I'm sorry, you only get one. That's it. When Carl, son number two, turns 80 a little over two years from now. Oh, fuck, there's more son. He's got a second son in the pipe. He's living on through his sons. It doesn't just count for every son, surely.

That's the letter of the law. That's a new son, new deal? It doesn't have to be a different dad every time. Because it's the son's age, yeah. Yeah. He's an 80-year-old with a dad. He's got to stay alive. provide for his family.

Oysters. For one meal. For one meal. For one meal. If they're born and a law. Yes. It only says man too, right? Yeah.

Man of 80. I mean, I think it could use that as like the mankind. Yeah. In 1930s, I think in the 30s specifically, yeah. Women weren't allowed at the oyster house. Yeah. Otherwise they'd become hysterical. They become hysterical.

That's right. Yeah. Quote, we've been literally talking about this for decades, says Carl. Proudly. Oh my God. Just sitting in a room. Just sitting in a room doing this for decades. Can't we eat those oysters.

It's coming. Three years. Let's go. Thinking about those oysters. I'm thinking about this man eating oysters. I'm not loving it. I'm not loving the thought of a 99-year-old man in his oysters. He can't be.

He's popping those teeth out first, you know? Yeah. Well, I guess that's a nice thing about oysters. You can eat them any age. Yeah, that's why all the old people are at the oyster house. Yeah. Pop one in your babies. mouth tip his head back.

Babies can have oyster. I'm having an iron rich baby. You've got to work out if they got allergies up front. Yeah. Only one way to do it. Fire an oyster down him. Yeah. Quote, that's why so many people have come down to be a part of it.

Some of my friends were glad it happened today so they could quit hearing about it. Yeah, because 20 years. We were talking about it for decades. Yeah. Just being like, Dad, I think that's a novelty sign. I don't know. maybe dad dad enough enough about the oysters we're in the twilight zone imagine your dad has not shut the fuck up about this for 20 years and he finally goes down and eats his nasty fill of free

oysters and you're thinking yourself that's it that's it's finally over it's finally over and he gets home and he just starts talking about the other son the next son yeah oh i was thinking dad i thought this is it he gets in there he gets It's in there. He's been looking forward for this for decades. Put the first one down, chokes on it, dies, and isn't it ironic? Now that would be ironic. Don't you think? Yeah.

Probably a little too ironic. If you worked at Winsel's Oyster House, you would think of the weird old guy with his super old sons is something like a cryptid. We talk about cryptids in Cryptid Watch. Residents there say they've heard unusual. animal sounds at night, and several ATV writers say they've seen unusual-looking creatures in the distance. The next guest may have taken one of the best ever pictures of the Loch Ness Monster. This comes from the Daily Star. Terrifying seven-foot pig man spotted roaming notorious Bigfoot hotspot.

Get him out of Bigfoot's territory. It's not meant to be there. It's not for you. Claimed to see a Bigfoot? Is it a terrifying pig man? Terrifying pigmen? I hate it. I hate it.

I just wanted to see Bigfoot. You still got to see the terrifying pig man? Yeah. Lots of people would be very happy to see the pig man. Lots of children don't get to see the pig man. Yeah, I've taken my family for a trip to see a seven foot tall bipedal crypted. Gentle, wise giant. And instead, we see something frightening.

Yeah, it's disgusting, filthy pig man. Paranormal experts say the UK is getting freakyer and freaky-y. Freakier as the weeks come up in 2026. It's getting more beefier. It's getting freakyer. It's getting freakyer at the UK. They tell me a pigman. Freaky pigman.

Do you think it says anything about us evolutionarily that we're doing the HR meme about like, we see a big foot? We see a monkey-based cryptid and we go. Monkey bit. Looks like us. Love it. He's beautiful. Pigman crypted. Oh, oh, security. Get him out of here.

Kill him. Kill the pig man. Kill the pig man. I wonder if he tastes like the other ones. Follow him back to his nest. Yes. It's getting freaker and freaky as the week's gone in 26 with new sightings of a super scary monster in one of Britain's most haunted spots. Grow up. It's just a pig man.

It's just a pig man. Are we picturing like John Pork here? Picture in John Pork. John. John Pork? John. Not familiar with John Pork. John Pork. John Pork. John Pork. John Pork. John Pork. John Pork. John Pork. So, sort of a pig man. He's kind of a pig man. What is he? What's the point of him? I don't know. He's just an Instagram guy. That's John Pork. Yeah. It's sort of John Pork. The photos that were in this article were like photos, photos, illustrations of a pig man. where they were credited at like photo credit, Photoshop, which is not really how it works. But they had clearly just taken like a photo of a man in the woods, circled an area of their head and been like content-aware, Phil, pig face.

So it's just a pig's head on a man's body. Yeah, and he's wearing like a sort of a pea coat kind of, trench coat kind of thing. Pretty freaky. Where to get a coat from? Seven foot tall. who's tailoring that for you? Yes.

Yeah, he had to go to... What's Johnny Big? He had to go to Johnny Big. You know the sizing of Johnny Big starts at like XL? Anyone can go to Johnny Big. Oh, I mean, I can't, but you know... Okay, Theo.

Theo can't. Yeah, I've seen some stuff in the window at Johnny Big. I'm like, oh shit, okay. Wait, it starts at Excel? Okay, I'm in. A lot of people don't know that about Johnny Big. Yeah.

Where's the Johnny Smalls is what I'm asking? Johnny little guy. Yeah. That's YD. Yeah. That's Johnny Little Guy. That's true, actually. They should have stores called like Little Man.

They both go down to two extra small. They're quite, yeah. For little guys that like to be the best dressed-ish person in their first year unicorns. Yeah. Yeah. And they should make the door as high as I am as well. I agree.

So if you're already tallier, you've got a stoop to get in. Like a disgusting rat. Fine. I won't go in here. I'll go to Connor. because I'm of average height. This is probably really relatable stuff to 90% of the people listening to the show. Don't care.

The area of Canick Chase has come under the spotlight again after a flurry of gruesome glimpses of horror creatures were reported. Good stuff. Grusome glimpses of horror creatures. Ghost boffins say there has been a flurry of activity in the West Midland Woods and they fear this could be just the start. Earlier this week, they warned that Bigfoot was back with there being more ghostly sightings in the last eight weeks compared to the whole of 2025 in one of Britain's spookiest spots. Oh shit.

I hope not the macabre's going on in there, though. Let's get something really clear right now. Bigfoot doesn't live there. Bigfoot does not live in the UK. No. Disagree. I believe that he travels through his wormholes in the forest. The wormholes in the forest, yes.

So he could be there at any time. Is he traveling along the boreal networks of the tree routes that cover the whole load? Perhaps. Yes, it's information, it's just data. They're basically computers. Yeah. From tree to shining tree, radio lab. But how does he, how does he like, you know, become not corporeal so that he can travel along this room?

Oh, this is actually the original, like, it's the teleportation paradox thing, sort of. They just, he dies. and then his body is conferred to information and it's constructed by the most alien networks. But is he the same Bigfoot? Or is he a new guy? No, he is. Yeah, because the original one's dead,

so he is the same one. I wouldn't worry about it. It's like when you go to sleep at night and you wake up in the morning, even though you haven't had a continuity of consciousness, it's still you. But my body was there the whole time. Yeah.

Not like Bigfoot being reconstituted in Bristol. I think clearly everything's been thrown out of its natural equilibrium here, right? this used to be a beautiful kind of strolling grounds for Bigfoot where he'd, you know, he'd hop in one of his, one of his tree portals or whatever. I don't, you know, know, know, know about the mechanics of it. Pop out to go on to visit his friend, Prince Andrew. Now he can't anymore.

And everything's out of whack. I'm not sure. I don't know if we want to tie him with this brush. If you want to cast dispersions on the pig man, fill you, that's one thing. I mean, a disgusting pig man in Britain is not news. I'm going to call the cops. Oh, I saw a horrible pig man. Were you in the House of Lords?

There's more and more British people in this forest, and they keep seeing Big Man. Do you mean Tony? And now it seems a new beast has joined him in the form of a creature from World War II, known as the Seven Foot Pigman. Yes. How do you mean he's from World War II? What do you mean he's known as the seven foot pig man? That's not a name.

That's just a description. That's a description. Is he wearing World War II uniform? Has he got a little helmet on? Yeah, whose side is he on? That's what I want to know. Was he generated as part of like the Nazi occult experimentation? Oh.

To a cult society. Professional ghost hunter Robert Pum revealed, quote, Professional? Who's paying you, sir? The TV, the news probably. Scared ladies. This beast is said to be one of Britain's eeriest urban legends, spoken about in the past, but it has not been until this year

that we've had a siding of him. I love writing now how you can just say, said to be. Someone's probably saying it. It's not me, but someone's probably saying it. What do you mean he was spoken about in the past but hasn't been cited until now? So people had heard a pig man?

Or they'd smell the pig man, but they'd never... Pigman of Canick Chase? Yeah, the pig man. Never seen him before, but we know it. he's out there. You just kind of feel it, you know? From the pig noises coming from this

forest. Yeah. But they're from kind of higher than you would imagine. What if? And this is, this is just something, this is just something

for people to think about as they go about their day, you know, because manifestation is real. We are long on the record of saying, the secret is real and true. What if people

have been thinking about and talking about the seven foot tall pig man enough? Yes. They made him real. Oh, it's a tulper. It's a tupor. It's a thought form.

It's a fucking empty man. Yes. Yes. What if they've done this by simply talking about him down the pub too much? Oh, the empty pig man? The empty pig man. There we go. Don't want to do that.

They've brought him into creation. They've made him exist. And now all you need to do is don't think about the pig man. Don't think about the pig man. Well, the good news is very easy for now make the music video for the Hello Mr. Crinkle by Prime. Yes. I mean, you've got a pig man. You'd have to teach him how to play an upright base though. Yeah, yeah. And I would argue that it's probably easier to source a rubber pig mask

than it is to wrangle a seven foot tall pigman crypted on set. And also you've got to travel back to the 1990s. Quote, it just shows that what all of us paranormal hunters are saying is correct. Yeah, things are hitting up. It's so good to say. Quote, the pig man is terrifying standing at least seven foot tall he is the head of a pig

and the body of a man and is said to be the result of mad science experiments from decades gone by. From World War II. Yeah, that's right. Many believe he is the product of twisted World War II experiments

possibly involving early genetic modification who has been lying dormant for all this time. Is he like a chimera or was he birthed? Well, if we're saying this genetic modification, surely he must have been born as a pig man. We spliced pig jeans into a man to make him the ultimate... The ultimate warrior.

Not the ultimate warrior, but to, you know, what I mean. And ultimate warrior. That is actually how we got the ultimate warrior. If sightings are up for ghosts and demons and Bigfoot in the area, then maybe it is making the other beasts that lie within Canach chase a bit more brave. So the pig man's been empowered by... Or he's just been woken up from all this fucking racket. Wait, the pig man's empowering other cryptids or the other cryptids...

Yeah, they feel empowered by the presence of the pigman. Is that what we're saying? I think the pig man has been woken up by the increase in other cryptids. I believe that's what they're saying, yes. Because the ghosts and the demons are the big... As the moon rises and it grows more and more full, turns the color of blood the clouds part

thus rises the pig man sort of like a Zelda type situation yeah sort of like Zelda and they're pig man that come back to life in Zelda too that's true they pre-visioned it yeah

this is a Zelda big man other experts say sightings have been up paranormal investigator Lee Brickley has written a book on the mysteries around Canock Chase called a ghost hunter's guide to Canick Chase and has also told of the ghostly sightings that he has been told of and said there is a fear these spirits are quote

getting braver objection hearsay yeah i think they're getting bold it's a year of the fire horse there's a lot of astrological stuff going on yeah things are awakening they're out there and they're sniffing seats they're gross they're emboldened i thought i thought our society valued bravery you know as a positive trait and now we're coming down on them for it seven feet tall, imagine what you could do. Imagine the shelves you could reach. And while we're losing white-collar jobs to AI and we're seeing

downsizing in workforces for people who type stuff into a text editor, etc. We have to adjust. We have to evolve. We have to become seven-foot insanely strong pigmen. Can AI create this and showing you a horrible, horrible pig man? He added, what makes these encounters particularly significant is the physical interaction.

Most sightings describe visual and auditory experiences, but we have seen some more regular ones where the entity physically touched someone. What do you mean? Repeat that louder, Theo? Can you get by pigmen? Get me like the pig man. These little trotters. He doesn't have trotters.

He's got hands and feet. He's got hands and feet. He's got the hands on the man. I just, I think it's possible that he's got. got people hands, trotter feet. Yes. Could be a combo.

Could be a combo. Let's just acknowledge that. Pig tongue, man tongue. Pretty similar, aren't they? Oh, I don't know. Their organs are very similar across the poor. Okay. All right.

That's why they get you to do practice surgery on pigs. Yeah. They don't get me to do practice surgery on pigs. They could though. Because they already think you'd be good. I don't need a practice. Yeah. Yeah, I'd probably be just good, like, naturally talented.

I'd probably pick it up. I have a lot of manual dextest. Yeah, I don't need to come to lectures. There's nothing in the rulebook that says this completely untrained man can't do surgery. Halfway through the surgery. Oh, I'm just looking at the book. Oh, no. He's upside down.

This raises numerous questions about the nature of these sightings and the possible dangers they pose. Possible. No one's been hurt by them yet. He hasn't done anything. You're assuming that. You're assuming they're dangerous. Just because you don't know about them because they're. different to us because they're a disgusting pig man

goes around sniffing chairs. Yeah. Is he hurting the chair? Disgusting pigmen. I'm sure you could find lots of those in Holland. We talk about Holland in Netherlands quarter. Everybody, I'm from Holland. Isn't that beer?

Who's that sniffing my sheet? This comes to us from Dutch news.N.L. William's whale jawbone, dumped at sea, is back on show again. Okay. Okay. Good news. Bad news and then good news.

A rare whale jawbone that was fished out of the Eustershilde estuary a year ago turns out to have been dumped there after the closure of the museum where it had been exhibited. So when the exhibit was done, someone just walked out of the back and just chucked it. Yes, with a few more steps. Okay. Marine biologist Bass Van Dusandin found the three-meter-long bone in February 2025 near the Zeelandbruck. He immediately noticed the bone was white and clean, something that is not the case with bones that have been in the water for a long time, he told local media outlet PZC. A bit of a wet bone expert, are we?

The bone, it turned out, had already been treated to preserve it, and when a subsequent DNA test showed the bone to belong to an Amura's whale, a non-native species, his suspicions that it had done. already been on display were confirmed. Fucking hell. This guy was, how did he find, how was he brought into the whalebone situation? He was called upon as an expert or he found it? No, he found it. He found it. Well, I think this is also a little bit like a regular person might have seen it and been

like, that's a strange stick. Yeah, the whalebone that we walk past is the whalebone that we accept, I think. A hundred percent for this guy. Yeah. This guy doesn't walk past the whalebone, but he does accept it. He took it. He took it. Yeah.

He recognized it. The whale bone that we don't walk past is the whale bone that we accept. The truth finally emerged following a lecture by Van de Sanden about the mysterious bone at a diver's convention when he was contacted by a former worker at the zoological museum in Amsterdam. Amsterdam. The museum closed its doors in 2011 and much of its collection went to Naturalis in Leiden. but when some bones threatened to end up on the scrap heap, the man took them home and placed the huge jawbone behind the sofa. Like on the wall or just down the back of a couch?

I'm thinking down the back, right? Yeah, surely. It's like the key cat to play with when he's down there. Well, that's where I put like the coffee table, like the top of the coffee table when we've got like when we've had to clear it all out kind of thing, right? It's just a whale jaw. Top of your coffee table is detachable? Yeah, it's just a piece of glass.

Oh yeah, of course. When he moved to a smaller house, he no longer had room for the bone, but because he had no paperwork, that it was little he could do with it officially. No room for bone. Because I think probably because whales are like endangered and stuff, probably having like whale bones, not protected, I guess. Probably illegal to have. You got to be able to explain it, yeah.

Even if you just found it, you should be able to just find it. Like finding some ivory. You want me to throw it away? We had this happen. Not to us. It's a story that we did, like, years ago about someone finding, like, in America, finding a taxidermy, like, rhino or giraffe head or whatever. Oh, yeah.

And having to be like, hey, I think if I take this, I'm accepting, like, illegal goods, but it was just out on the street. So I've got to let you the police know that it's here. He and another former museum worker then decided to dump the bone in the Eustacheld so it could be officially found and registered again, which is exactly what happened. Oh my God. That's smart.

That's clever. I feel like, can't you just telephone a museum? Surely you can just call a museum. They're not going to arrest you for having the whale bone that you're like, can you please take this and put it in a natural history museum? No. Surely. No.

It belongs in a museum, you shout at them. While you're throwing it into the ocean. Is it a museum? A duck up in your bone in the Eusterschill or whatever it's called. Yeah, that's right. Quote, it was a carefully thought. thought our plan and it worked, Van Dissandan said during a presentation. Slammed up.

That's just like having it illegal no man's land to be like the only way we could have this is to take it out of the ownership of man, put it back into the ownership of Gaia, wait for a man to find it again. Yeah, but that man has to be a preeminent subject matter expert. Yeah, which, it was. It found its way. That's, it is genuinely... Do you think he tipped him off?

Do you think he tipped him off? Oh, a little text. Just like, I hear there's a whale bone in the oostro show. Come down to the culvert for a nice surprise. A little birdie told me. You just go to like pubs that he's going to and have conversations around him. I hear there's a whale bones. In the dike.

I think this thing is like the necronomicon or the lament configuration. Oh, once to come back, you encounter. It's like, I'll cast it in a dark. The one ring. to the ocean, but it's coming back. It will be discovered again. Yes, the bone wants a home. The bone craves a museum.

Van Descendant said he could see the funny side. Quote, what they did is not illegal. There was no theft. The museum world would probably give them a mild tailing off with a smile, of course. Oh, you don't so naughty. For throwing it in the ocean or for having it in the first place? What is the thing that he's done that's wrong? You're openly saying that you had it in the first place too.

Yeah, which seems... You're in the newspaper saying that. Kind of undo like all of the... I guess this guy hasn't been named, has it? Look, a lot of processes are there for good reason. You know, you haven't been working here at the Whale Museum for as long as these guys have. And, you know, that like, throwing it into the river in between museums is...

We used to not do. it and then we ran into all kinds of trouble. Now we do it, right? So you want to invent all of these kind of problems from first principles and have to solve them, or you want to throw the whale jaw into the river. Yeah, just like we've always been doing. Just like we've always done. I also don't understand the circumstances where I guess, you know, sometimes you have a faith that people are in charge of the world and the things that need to happen will happen. You sort of just assume that society looks after things. Which might be the case in the Netherlands as well. Maybe it is. Maybe it is.

I would have thought, this is just me, but if like a natural history museum closes down, they don't just throw everything into a skip. Yeah. They don't need to. They don't need to because they know that the right person will find the bones. But I mean, he saved this one bone from the skip.

He was like, you know what? I would take this one home. But what else were they throwing out? Like, wow, crazy. 10,000-year-old hominid skeleton. Oh, well, into the skip. Free mummy. dumpster diving from mummy

Oh my god the dumpster diving out the back of the Natural History Museum after it closes You wouldn't believe the mummies They're throwing out Only able to keep three mummies I got so many fucking napping stones dude

We got to nap so many fucking spearheads It's going to be crazy Yeah You got to throw the mummy in the skip You can't throw the mummy into the ocean Or it gets rehydrated That's all that's right Don't want that

comes out looking like Joe Biden. I can't believe he died. So crazy. That's crazy, man. I saw a thing the other day about... He was so healthy too. He was on a plane that got delayed, but he was in like the...

He was just like on a regular plane. Joe Biden or the mummy? Joe Biden, not the mummy. Mommy doesn't have to fly. They walk across the bottom of the ocean, very slowly. But he was in like regular like economy class or whatever. That doesn't seem like...

I thought if you were a president, you were flying private jets for the rest of your life. Yeah. They've just immediately put him back on United or whatever. They put him back in Genpop. Maybe they just say, maybe they like save some money. One, he's not going to remember he was president. Yeah, that's true. Right?

Yeah. People on the plane asking him, are you Joe Biden and him going, no. Who's that? He keeps trying to smoke on the plane. I used to know a guy named Joe Biden. What's the problem, Daddy-O? I think this was definitely an episode of the podcast. Punta Vista.

Don't forget, we have a live show coming up this week and it's sold out. If you want to see us at the live show, have bought tickets previously to this. You want to have bought tickets. And if you haven't, boy, must you feel foolish. You shan't be coming. If we get like 200 emails saying, I missed out on getting tickets.

We'll put on a second show, but anything less than 200. Not going to do it. You don't want to do that thing where you're like, great, we'll put on a second show. You sell 10 tickets to the second one. And then we've got to kiss each person

to make it worthwhile. A little value add. Look, I know the room was dead. I know it felt very grim in here, but... But doesn't this make you feel alive? Let me just brush that hair off your face. It's going to take us so long to do that

at the first show, by the way. Yeah. But I'm ready. Smiring these lips with Vasilead and just getting it done. Yeah, they just line them up one by one, right? And it's not even a real kiss. You're just kind of like giving them a really like barest tuck of lips to the cheap. That counts though as far as the counters are concerned.

All profits from the show completely eroded by all the fillers we've all been getting. Hopefully we will see you with that live show. Theo's told me that he is ready to meet every single one of you. He's got 10 minutes of chat each. Although if you are in a couple or a thruple, you're getting shared 10 minutes of chat. Yeah, you are going to change. We're just, you know, for time purposes. Although I will say from the ticket breakdown, a lot of single people.

A lot of people coming without their partners to the podcast live show. It's a singles event. It's a mixer. Imagine who you could meet. God, there's like a, you know, you know you'll have some interest in common Find like-minded individuals and then think about what your own mind is and figure out whether you want that in a partner. I think we can all agree there's friends to be made. Yes.

Can I just as a personal request from me to you, the listener, going to the Sydney Live Show, who's single looking for another single podcast listener, I want you to try something that I don't think people have done for a little while. I want you to be cool about it, be like, hey, could I buy you a drink? You see an interesting looking person. Can I buy you a drink? Don't be weird. Just, you know, be normal.

They say no. No pressure about it. Be chill about it. It's be normal. You know, maybe this is how you mean. You know? What's that? Can I get you one of those?

I can't? Okay. No worries. Hold your tears in until you get home. Yeah, cry in the car on the drive back. Yeah. Cry in the car. Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid.

Should never have tried. Why do I even bother? I hate you, Ben. I hate you, Ben. I'm going to mind God You've got to be like this every time Why did you tell me to do that? The world could hurt

Why didn't he say that the world could hurt? Let's give it a try See how you go Yeah hopefully we'll see you Until then Stay safe Bye