Boonta Vista - EPISODE 436: 18 Hours Of Pumping And Edging My Dick Insanely (live in Sydney)

Episode Date: March 8, 2026

Recorded live in Sydney on March 5th, 2026 at Carousel. Lucy, Theo, Andrew, and Ben bring you: A train-oriented Great American Hall of Name, the Comic Cowboys, a return to a Tripping Report star, kidneymaxxing, the evolution of the Big Bite, and two dubious Stuffs We Should Chat About. Thanks so much to everyone that came out, we had such a good time. *** Outro: Hired Goons - Evil Nine *** Support our show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista *** Email the show at [e-mail]! Call in and leave us a question or a message on 1800-317-515 to be answered on the show! *** Website: boontavista.com Twitch: twitch.tv/boontavista

Hello and welcome to Buntu Vista, episode 436. I'm Ben and I'm here at the secret meeting. We're having without Theo about Theo. Christ. Every fucking live show. Sorry, what, it's actually just between the three of us. About how we're going to handle him at the live show. With me is Lucy, who's wondering how we can talk to him about the anecdotes

without triggering his rejection-sensitive dysphoria. Which he just has, by the way. He just has that. It doesn't mean anything. It doesn't mean it's not It's not a symptom of a larger thing It just is Yeah

And like some are fine Like some anecdotes Some of them But like you could vet some of them And you'll never know which ones are good How are you gonna know before you live them Before you Yeah we could have talked about them advanced

There was one in particular from the last live show That I think I would have edited it out wholesale If that option was available You remember there was like the snot chest hair incident Yeah yeah Really that one Okay That was no good.

No good whatsoever. Someone did DM me asking if Theo was going to get his feet out today. And I said no. Categorically, no. That does lead me to my next thing here. Also with me is Andrew, who's just tabled the foot problem. How do you reckon we tackle this? What's a nice way to be like, no, I get it.

You want to be comfortable, but like some things are just for in the house. You know, like it's okay. It's natural. But like when you're in public, it's not as good. It's a difficult situation. I'm not going to lie. I have done a little bit of mitigation. I have held him down and clipped his nails,

soaked his feet earlier today. He didn't say what it was about. Yeah. You know? And then I put his special pingu socks on. Yeah. That's really nice, dude. Oh.

Can I actually, we're not, there's no fucking audience interaction, all right? So don't, no yelling shit out, no whatever, no corrections, no nothing. I do want to ask one thing of the audience. I saw a guy earlier this afternoon. who had the look of a podcast listener about him. And I couldn't tell if there was like a fleeting moment of recognition,

or we were just eyeing each other up as two cool dudes. Is there anyone in the room that has a Pingu tattoo on their leg, just out of curiosity? The Pingu man is not here who's just a cool guy. You never tell. Keep your eye up to the Pingu man. What are the chances? They're all here.

All of the podcast people are here. They're all here. And you should describe in detail what a podcast. listener looks like. Let's get it detail. They look like all sorts but you know there's like a you can tell also with me is Theo who just walked into the green room

Hey hey! Hey! Hey! Hey, what's going on? Hey, you're goose here. Yeah, you guys ready? And you've still got your socks on? Yeah. Shoes, choose. I had a couple of messages actually about Yep. I'm just saying like I could Yeah. I could get them out. Well no I don't I don't think anyone wants We're not that's not one of those sarcastic. Yeah.

I don't think anybody wants to see those. Don't. Not today. It's too close. There's not a lot of distance here, like last year. It's so close. You're so close. It could be close.

I could reach out and touch you. I won't. You did specifically ask whether we were going to have wireless marks or whether you had to be stationary. We don't, and you do. I like to plan ahead or know my options. I'll go without the mic. Can I ask you sincerely?

Sure. How are you? Did you have a good night, bud? You know I didn't. No, we don't, because you wouldn't tell us. We said, how is your train trip? And you said, I don't want to talk about it. So first of all, okay.

So no one told me that the XPT is a joke train. No. I think we did. One person told me that the XPT is a joke trade. And I said, oh no. And then I hopped on the coach. to drive for four hours to take me to the XPT joke train

At casino Oh beautiful casino stunning casino New South Wales And then I Yeah I was on the train Overnight See bed?

Hey bed? Did you have a lay flat? No no bed Oh If you get the bed Then you don't know Who's gonna turn up And I was sort of like

Hey does anyone else like You know I know you guys Are like environmentally conscious Do you want to go halves In a sleeper with me? or like, you know, there's so much going on at the moment, you know.

Going on in the world. And you're just like to do one thing for the thing. And you're like, hey, fuck no. I really enjoyed how many times in our group chat you said, I'm serious, by the way, when you didn't get any responses. We knew you were serious. Yeah. And then I took the train.

I haven't slept in 36 hours. At like 3 a.m., a toddy. The toddler absolutely nuked the seats across and back from me, just covered so much puke that they didn't clean it up. They just brought out black plastic. Just did the dropcloth. And they dropcloth the seat and the whole compartment. And they're just like, no, that's done with now for this journey.

Find you something else. We have to remove the seats. The good news is, though, you have no climate anxiety anymore because you took the train. Actually, so while I was, yeah, so I kind of, as I was telling you, Ben, on the bus, I finished hummingbird salamander. And that would have helped with your climate anxiety. And that kind of didn't help at all.

And I'm just sitting there on the bus going like, man, what a fuckhead I am. I'm so fucking stupid. We were all saying the exact same thing. Yeah, I know, in your group chats. Oh my God. Yeah. Sitting around at the airport. God is stupid.

What a fuck head. Yeah. And then I emerged. From Central Station at 6am, the, like, heavy fog. I had 3% left on my phone because they do not have USB ports on the XPT train. Now, this is important to know and possibly tell people ahead of time there are no USB ports on the XPT train, just in case anyone's wondering. We get messages from Theo at 7 a.m. going, what are you guys up to?

I am walking around the city of Sydney. I'm ready to hang out. I was at home. In bed. Yeah. It's wonderful. Hey, Theo. Hey.

That's a name. We talk about names. The Great American Hall of Name. It's the Great American. This is train themed. I should have done like a train one there. I'll edit it. It will fix it at post.

Dumb it in, yeah. This list that I'm about to bring to you is from... And you guys will enjoy this. And he will be allowed. to say that when he forks out the $400. So expensive to get autism. Even though you got it for free. It's not.

It's free. The price of autism these days. God gave it to you. All forever chemicals. One of the two. This is from the 1893 edition of the Biographical Directory of the Railway Officials of America. We're going to start off real easy.

These ones are not even that funny. I don't even know why I'm saying. We're just going to start off real gentle. Here we go. J. Raymond Claghorn. A.W. Quackenbush. Love a good Quackenbush. E. Bud Shurter. Shurter with a U as well, which I quite like.

Oh. That's kind of nasty now. I'll never tell. Oh, I shirtered. That's true. I'm not myself. Chambers McKibbon. Percival Sneed. Grenville Dodge.

Lockwood Meggit. Clement Studebaker. Oh. Goldsborough Serple. Julius Kratschnit. Felician Sladipa. I'm sorry? Felician Sladipa.

J.K. Rolling ass, man. And where are they from? Yeah. Where are you, like, originally from? Yeah. Where are you from? Has anyone come along with, like, their boyfriend tonight to this and, like, have not yet?

All right, did you know that this was what the podcast was? It's mainly names. Mainly names. It's mainly names of these podcasts. Coleman Pringle. All right. Flavius Quimby. Minor Gregory.

Nothing major. It's only byter. Sergeant Peabody. That's the person's first name. That's not a title. Cornelius Bent. Ernest Salt Marsh. It's nice to see like an

sincere salt marsh for us. That's just that's an ironic. Autastic salt marshes. Erasmus guest. Artemis Lamb. Silas Blizzard. Yes. That's a J.K. Rowling name.

Roland Hazard. He's a bad boy. Bad boy of the train. Whatever this list is. Trains. Yeah. I think Mormon action heroes to me. Yeah.

You joke, but there's only one. There's only one that they've got, yeah. Stuyves and fish. Stuyves and fish. Stuyves and fish. Hey. Like siggy's and fish. Yeah.

Justice Mole. Judge Judy. You are! You can't say that. I forgot to put her on the soundboard. Oh, boo. I don't know. I don't.

Boom him. I'm not connected to the Wi-Fi. I can't get it. I'm so sorry. You'll just have to sing it. Terrible. You fucking can't, can you? No.

No. We're mixing that one. Jabez Snowball. And is spelled exactly like Snowball. And exactly like Jaybes. They just don't name them like this anymore. Oh, of the Connecticut Snowballs? Now this next list, this is what I like to call my Theo pleases.

Thank you so much. They're all very small. They're just. Just short, sharpen to the point. You know where to use it. Franklin Cramm. Newman Herb. Henry Opp.

Grovener Knapp. Horace Crake. Wilma Stith. Stiff with a TH. Benj of the Stiff. Archibald Schenk. Lewis Schwann. It was Swan with an S-H.

Emil Schnabel, Boling swoop. Oh, yeah. Crestus Tripp, David Wegg, and Seth Zugg. And there's more. Oh, I keep going. And now these ones are just plain good fun. Philetus Philbrick.

Sherbin Sandbin. Byron Bryant. Charles Cheers. Richard Rickard, Llewellyn Lloyd, Lark and Martin, Soren, Barry Pretty. Oh. It's pretty with the D's, pretty.

That's very pretty. That's very pretty. Henry Frisbee. Do you say this was the 1800s? Yeah, 1850 something. So he might be the guy. Steve, Mr. Frisbee. Mr. Frisbee.

It's about five. Moses burpee He might be the guy too I have three more for you and then we're done with names Noble Wood that's just beautiful Wellington comer

Check your boots people He is out there He's around And I have one more for you. Actually, this one you guys might, you might already know, not necessarily the name or the person, but like the sounds might be familiar to you guys because you might have been there before.

Gaylord Beach. It's the beach that makes you gay. We've already done that. Every possible the beach that makes you has been covered by this or big soft titty at this point. Hey, Gaylord. That's a region. We talk about regions in regional bullshit.

Regional bullshit. Every little town has got their own bullshit. Regional bullshit. Every little town has just got to happen. Now, you guys kind of have to understand that I did a lot of these at like one in the morning and I no longer looking at the paper, do I remember why I thought these were funny at the time? So hopefully, you know, in the room we find the comedy ourselves. This comes to us from WKR.

Help us! Don't help us. WKRG and Mobile, Alabama. With Craig. The Craig. Mobile Mardi Gras features comic Cowboys mix of humor and commentary. Nothing funny in that yet. Ruth, hold your laughter.

Sounds wonderful. The comic Cowboys brought the jokes to Mobile Mardi Gras again this year with signs lampooning everything from local topical issues to national. political. Fines? Yes, signs. Signs. I'll explain in good time

after I finish this one sentence. The Cowboys rolled down Route A at 1.30pm. The much-anticipated parade is known for satirical signs. We've included... We've included photos of some of those below. I've described them for you, so don't worry. I know you were panicking about the whole photo issue. So what this is...

Pass this copy around the room. We'll wait until you've all had a look. Yeah, we'll hold you laughter. Until it gets to the final person, though, because we want it all to be at the same time. So this is a bunch of parade floats for us, just like a truck, but it's got billboards on it, and there's some texts, and often a picture.

Some of the pictures look like there may be AI-generated. Some of them look like really bad newspaper cartoon level. But often they just sort of, they add that little extra bit of depth to the comedy, that little extra bit of flavor, the little visual gag. You won't have that, but I will describe it to you. And you're saying this is a hotly anticipated event in the town. Oh, people go fucking crazy about it from what.

I've heard. Okay. And they're dressed as cowboys. They're the comic cowboys because the people on the floats, they're wearing cowboy hats. They've got their best dudes on, things of that nature. Are they cowboys who are comic?

Or are they comic cowboys? They've put the costume on for this event, but then they take it off and they're not a cowboy the rest of the year. Or are the cowboys who are funny? I don't think they're vocationally cowboys. That's my feeling. I also don't think they're vocationally funny. I don't think cowboys are funny.

Not based on the material. I think they're just guys on the floats. put on a cowboy out, they gesture at the signs and they say, get a load of these gags. Cop these gags. Now, I've got to warn you guys, some of these are a little, you know, we're all grown adults, we're mature.

They come, you know, these people, they're in Mobile, Alabama. Their politics might not necessarily perfectly align with our own. So you've got to kind of, you know, don't start yelling at us. I don't agree with this stuff. But it's good to come out of your bubble as well, though. Yeah. Right. Right.

Out of that echo chamber. I got this first one here. It goes, so the text night reads, I'm going to try to do cowboy voice because they're cowboys. Thank you. Trump's executive order, a number one. Huh? Huh?

And number one? Like a piss? You might be thinking it's piss because the piss today. Yeah. It's not. It's like a hamburger, a fries and a soda. Like an order from the number one. Oh.

loves to eat. You still don't get it. All right, no. Was there a picture with that? Of him, like, ordering? No, there's the picture of the burger. I just fucking... Have they got his order right?

I wasn't listening. Because he's... It doesn't help that we all know what his McDonald's order is. Yeah, that's true. You've got to be able to picture it, Theo, so a burger is like the thing you, like, you remember a McDonald's?

Describing it to him, weren't. I can't picture it. I have a fantastic. But you remember a burger. It's hard, because you want to start by saying, imagine a burger. Imagine a burger. I can't.

He can't. Imagine the separate pieces. Can you imagine the feel of a burger? Oh, where am I feeling it? Feel this in your mind. All right, we got more here. Can you imagine fucking a burger is what we're asking. He can't picture the burger with that.

No, I can't picture anything. I got another one here. I'm not doing the cowboy thing anymore. I've ditch that. Difference between Auburn and cereal, only one belongs in a ball. Like they're It's one of

It's going to be a geographical thing Lucy Oh I still don't get it There's a picture as well So you know Tony the Tiger He's from the serial What they got over there

Is Auburn a woke College football team Is that what's going on? I don't think they're woke So pictures of Tony the Tiger And he's saying They suck Because usually he says they're great

I think Oh Comedy is all about subverting expectations You know I think Auburn's like their local team and they can get into the Super Bowl. I think we just don't get it. There's a lot of layers.

It's intellectual. It's regional. It's in the thing that's start. Really regional. What about this one? I think this one is actually quite universal. The McGregor Roundabout isn't the only thing getting plowed at the country club.

Yeah. What else is getting cloud at the country club? There's like a picture of a lady if that. Yeah. Is it a lady from the country? Club? At the country club? It's happening in the country club.

The local. Does it have her name on it? Deirdre. Another one here for you. Dofen Island is dumping foxes. What's next? Spring Hill Cougars. Why?

I don't fucking get it. I've been you jokes and none of you are laughing. I don't know why they're not laughing. There was a picture with this one. It was like a hot lady. I figured. Does that help? Is that funny?

Like a milf, a milf, I assume. Yeah, well. Oh, look. Yeah, okay. One would hope. Another one here for you. Maybe this will, maybe you guys are like warmed up now.

I don't fucking know. Spring Hill Jogamums, the best speed humps in town. Come on now. All right. I know what you're thinking. You're thinking they're fucking them real quick. Yeah.

But the pitch. seem to suggest the speedhumps were their breast jiggling. Oh. Oh. I think what you thought was better. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Somehow that's nastier. I'm with you guys. Yeah, that's worse. That's worse. No, I think speedhubs is very bad. Because I don't picture a hump.

I'm not picturing an elegant, beautiful act between two loving people. Yeah. I'm picturing someone going like Goll and Modi's going, it's like, ah! It's like how a dog would fuck a pipe. I was thinking. the same thing. It's what we will.

Now you can picture something. It's hard to shift it out of the way. Make space for something else. Ben, you're picturing less like Luther Vandross, more blast beats. Yeah, 100% I am. Thank you. I got another one here for you guys. So this is, it's three words crossed out

one on top of the other. Like that, the picture of the lady who was gonna name her daughter Carrot Larachin or whatever you know the one Yeah I got charagottis scratched out

Chiria gaudis scratched out Cherry gooder scratched out and then afterwards not scratched out it says It's all Greek to me

They just got a new mayor And that mayor is Greek Oh He has a Greek surname Oh I got a

I got my big big poster board. Getting ready to take it to the mayor. That's right. Your name's funny. Oh, wait, hang on, no. Names can be funny. We'll work out where we stand

at the end of the night. Greek names aren't funny. Now this one, I'll give you the image first. Sorry, Theo. It's a picture of the mayor, that Greek fella we was talking about. He's being sworn in on a little, on a book titled Lucy Cooks

and he's wearing an apron that says greers and then the text next to it says now we'll never get a traitor Joe's what the fuck is happening isn't that on its face extremely funny tough crowd hush you guys would be fun at that parade

all right so Greas is the supermarket chain that is owned by the family of the mayor's wife. Now they'll never get a trade of Joe's. Oh, that was so demoralizing. You know what, let's call it now. What type of twist out? I wonder if you can find the person who made this sign

and send this show to them. They'd find this, like, shooter style. They're going to do the end of wind river to us. Now, this one I think you guys, if you don't get it, I don't know what to fucking tell you. It's really pissing me off. Since when did the government ever make sense? Now, the word sense spelled like the penny is crossed out.

Oh, no, that's funny. And then sense like they don't make any fucking sense. Because they stop making the penny? You can't just make the, oh, that is true. No. And is the one noise, all podcasters fear. I did see that on the news, yeah. I'm remembering now.

All right, what about this one? Obviously, you'll get it. Now, the picture is of a young person, but they're wearing a paper bag on their head. Okay. Yeah. It sounds like a really cool start. Alabama football is so bad.

Even students are entering the portal. What's the portal? Oh, we don't speak of the portal. Oh, the Mobile portal? Can we speak of the portal so we could get this joke? This is Portal with a capital P, by the way. Okay. The portal.

Now, if any of you do know anything about NFL, this is not funny at all. I choose to believe that this is their local version of Time Out. They have a paper bag that they call the portal. The portal. You go in. You lose your sense of space and time. don't know where you are.

The alarm goes off, they let you back out. You have some time to think. Is anyone in the portal? Like, who is into the NFL? I actually know this. No. What this means? Who said that?

Who was that? Keep it to yourself. Who came first? Okay. Don't do this. Don't do it. Oh, he's doing gags. He's doing prop gags.

I think he just wants to have it ruined. Now everyone's going to want to do this. You know that right. Have you, is there an instruction written on that piece of paper? Sorry, keep going. I think it was just a $50 bill. Have you written on a piece of paper laugh like something really funny is written on this piece of paper? No.

Are you trying to take back some power from this group dynamic? By passing notes during the podcast? Did you prep a physical gag earlier? You wrote a note specifically waiting for this moment so you could do a physical gag. Is that the only note you have on you? Is the only note I've got? Okay. Turn those pockets out, boy.

Or you're going in the portal. I can generate more from out the back. You can generate more notes. I can ask. If you combine paper and pen in your inventory. Mud dumping in the bay isn't new. Fair Hope's been doing it. Did I just, I think you've got a backup mark.

Do it? Am I, hang on, I think I'm just crunchy here. Do you sound good? Do you sound rich? A little crunchy? Yeah, sure. Sound great. He sound amazing, actually.

You look amazing. Thank you. Thanks. Thanks. Did you get that today? I did buy this today. Yeah, you did. Thanks, Ben.

I've seen that shirt before, but it still looks great. Yeah. Thank you. Shopping. Woo! Oh, he's getting mean now. Women, be shopping. He's been empowered by his own actions.

We should never have given him free. He's had two light beers and he's fucking off the rails already. And like four decks. Amphamette means it's seriously. He's ready to party! I got another one for you here. Battle of Mobile Bay, 2025.

Damn the turd pedos, full pee ahead. Hey, you like that one, don't you? Something's universal. Turd pidos. The turd pidos. And what's that?

Full pee ahead. A turd pto, I guess, would be a torpedo made of turd? That's my feeling. Oh. It's not going to breach any kind of hole. I'm not from Mobile. That's just.

Smush on the side. side, yeah. I have one more for you. And if you guys don't... Thank God. Fucking laugh at this one. Like, we're done. Like, the whole evening.

We're canceling Tom and Demi's bit, too. Yeah. Because you're not primed for laughing. You don't deserve them. We don't get six, seven. Sounds like she wouldn't know. She's not actually in the building. There's no way of doing that.

That could have been anyone. We don't get 6'7. We prefer 6'9. Yeah. That. Oh. Finally a joke for the grown-ups. That's good.

And a cowboy said that. I guess a group of cowboys pointed at it. I guess. Yeah. I hope they made that the last one, because you want the best one. The best one for the last. To be the one that you go out on, right?

Yeah. Got some people over you're like, once we put the kids to bed, I'll show you my signs. These floats are about to. get pretty twisted. Uh-huh. Sitting through...

Shut the fuck up, Debbie. Sitting through all the floats from the comic cowboys, that must be a trip. We talk about trips in the tripping report. I'm like itching for another edition of the tripping report.

It's too close. for him. I can't go back there. I can't go back now. I can't go back now. Wip stock brown acid victim. They told you over the PA. Don't take it.

Now, I don't know if you guys remember, but some years ago now, we talked about a special individual. This was on the episode, this might actually, the name of the episode might be a hint. Yeah. As the individual.

This was on episode 297. No? I thought we had a few people in here with like mentat brain. From sun up to sundown? Oh, you're so close. Fuck. It is masturbation city. From suffering until midnight, it is masturbation city.

Yeah. There we go. Fuck yeah. Yeah. Now, his original trip report, this was titled 12 hours of sexual bliss. This was originally posted on New Year's Eve of 2009. Not even New Year's Day. Still in the middle of it.

He's like he's typing on New Year's Eve. That's the fucked up thing. He also published some other trip reports. So I have another one here from this gentleman. This was published in November of 2017. So eight years of learning, growing, changing, ingesting nutmeg, jacking off for 12 hours. Oh, was that the nutmeg guy?

Was none of the previous, like... I don't remember things from the show. show. Yeah, fair enough. And why would you? Although I have previously reported on ingesting 20 to 25 grams of nutmeg for the extreme aphrodisiac effects on penis erection. Mm-hmm.

Yeah, we remember. Like we've all tried. I decided to try applying a nutmeg slash baby gel mix externally. No, you don't know where he's putting it. What do you mean? Yeah, what's that? What do you mean? to see if I could get the same effects.

Buddy, you're already in heaven. Yeah. Why are you asking questions? You already live in masturbation city. What are you trying to move to? Why are you going to go? What does ascension look like for you? Some people are greedy.

I have recently gotten back into penis vacuum pumping again. Sorry, Ben. Time to go back to the old me. And what about the guy with the nutman? Oh, yuck it up. It's just easy. You just got to have some easy ones from time to time. What do you think, like a top-notch penis pump is setting your back?

Demi, how much did the penis pump cost? What? Yes! Thank you, Demi. $129. Was this like a brand? name one or like the love honey like their sort of no name

brand. I think it was base level. Yeah, base level I'm thinking. Yeah. No, we had another penis pump purchaser over here from your show. It was being very forthcoming. Thank you, Debbie. And if you're listening to the recording of this episode,

go fuck yourself. Where were you? Where were you? When Gondor fell. Can we do a quick stuff we should chat about? In the middle of the trip report. If it's not too much bother, if it is too much bother, we can just keep going.

It's time. It's fine. For stuff we should chat about. Here comes some stuff we should chat about. Book to a list of stuff to chat about. Give you that one. You might be how to queued up. It was so nice.

I obviously had a pretty hard night. I came in. I was looking for sanctuary and I got a message saying, hey, you know, come around to Tom and Demies. And so I went to their beautiful house today, and they were watching the director's cut, extended cut edition.

What do we call it? Lord of the Rings. Of Lord of the Rings. Fellowship of the Ring. Yeah, when I came in, they were literally just watching names scrote. down the screen. It's like credits, I think those are called.

No, no, no, no. Dickhead. This was the special thanks section. And it took like five minutes to get to like see. It was just names scrolling down. So I came in and like they're literally just sitting around the couch watching these names scroll down the screen. I don't know how much attention we were.

We were reading some of the names to each other. Not that reading names is funny. Yeah. No, it is. We believe that it is. Yes. Yeah, there were loads of Greek names. Loads of Japanese names.

That's not funny. We weren't going crazy. And like, and so that, that finished. And Andrew's like, oh, straight on to... The Twin Towers. The Twin Towers. The Twin Towers. Where were you when Gondor fell?

Are you talking about 9-11? Yeah. Yeah. And I'm not... And I don't know. know whether they're the best edition of Lord of the Rings, right? Like, it goes on a bit long in sections. You can

tell some of it's not as completed as others, but one thing... You don't like 20 minutes of special thanks to the Charter members of the Lord of the Rings fan club, yeah. Solid 20 minutes. 20 minutes. 20 minutes. Yeah, it really padding out that runtime, not like this.

And it's fun, like, and everyone went crazy about Denethor, is that how you say it? Denethor, thank you so. So much. Yeah. And the way that he ate the, the cherry tomato,

weirdly. Just a tomato. It's just a tomato. They're the small ones, the little ones that's a cherry tomato. Yeah. Isn't that what he's eating? It's a pretty small tomato.

It's a pretty small tomato, right? It's a medium, right? It's a medium size. Which I think is a relatively recent cultivar. And they come from the new world. Yeah. Which is after the Lord of, I think that shit's fake.

They made all of that. up oh my god anyway the internet's kind of been going a bit weird about the cherry eating for a little while right but i think it speaks to his character but there's a nice part about it in the um extended edition this is going anywhere and you stop the story where so he's eating it right in the first take and he drops it and lands on his toes and yeah and pippen who is there right because they the fellowship was broken at that point. Oh, my lord, my lord. And this is, and he sees

this mad king, right? And he says, I will help you. And so he starts sucking the tomato off of his toes. Right? But the sad part is that really kind of speaks to the madness of this king is when he starts,

he says, no, I have to do this for myself. And he tries, and he tries to get, actually, I might need to No, no, no, no, no. No. He tries to get it in his mouth and it's this terrible, sad scene that just goes on for, like, way too long. There's nothing sadder than an unsucked toe.

But if you watch the extras on the kind of behind the scene stuff, right, like, he really got it on his toes. And so, Peter Jackson, he's not kind of new to, like, gross stuff. I don't know if you guys know much about Peter Jackson before those. Like, he did like some like, I don't know if you call them video nasty stuff. Like bad taste. We haven't called them that since the idea. And brain dead. That kind of is a pretty good.

And we didn't call him that here either. So he really loved this performance, but he saw that like things needed to move on and get past this. So he's like, look, I'll help you with this. And so he had to come up and start sucking the tunnel. No, I want you to do it like this. So just to be clear, the stuff we should chat about is a lot of. the thing you made up about tow sacking.

I think maybe specifically to upset Ben? Can I just, I want to make sure that I'm doing this respectfully and that I'm, I'm not, I'm not, I don't want to tread all over your bit because I know you've put a lot of effort into preparing this. You're in the mirror.

So I want to ask for, he wrote 15 drafts of that. We had a lot of time when he wasn't sleeping on the train. On what? On the train. I just want to... Is that like the end of the bit that you have prepared? I mean, that's the end of the story

I was telling, yeah. Yes, that's right. So, the first time that you did this, the crux of the joke was that there's a common piece of trivia that everybody loves to say. So the hook was that you'd say the thing and then all of us would jump in.

Jump in, yeah, and be like, oh, no, I think it's actually the thing about sucking on toes. This time, you didn't have a bit of trivia, you just had, isn't a bit of it weird? Well, No further nights, I guess. Yeah.

That was a good story. It was good. What's your fucking point? It was nice. I wasn't really expecting anything, but to my surprise, after 20 minutes, I felt the effects. Nutmeg seems especially to affect the base of the penis,

and the penis really stretches out and expands. Huh? I also got dry mouth and eyes after a half hour, which is also an effective nutmeg. We all know that. I removed the tube every 15 minutes and reapplied going to a vacuum of 5 to 6 HG. Oh, because he's got it in the pump and he slathered the pump

with his... I was just picturing a guy slathering his dick. No, do you remember the penis pump thing from earlier? I'm back. You guys remember the penis pump from earlier? No audience participation. Don't answer that question. Okay.

Horny as hell after a half hour and my penis was hitting the end of the 8-inch tube. Oh. Whoa. Hell yeah, dude. Congratulations. You know what? This is, I'm going to admit this.

I am shocked to learn that the penis pumps do something. Yeah. It's made his penis longer. I mean, that's what they're for? It's like a, it's like a, it's a such, yeah.

It's a brief buff. It's a daily prayer you can use. Plus five penis. It was much stronger in Moro when you could just sort of pogo around. Well, you had to do it right before you land it again, otherwise you die. Okay, this is a joke just for the people who have played the first 20 minutes of Morrwind. Yeah. Yeah, the guy outside the town, except he's just got a huge bono.

Tarkwill, is that his name? Who knows that guy? Tariel, is that it? That guy, yeah. Him. We didn't have to go past the front row to get an answer to that one. And does anyone in the back row want to do it just for fun? No audience participation.

I now tried a few hits of poppers while expanded in the tube. Hell yeah, dude. Okay, it's this guy's world. We're just living in it. I think maybe this guy is just one of the horniest people on the planet and he has harnessed like powerful self-actualization. Yeah, absolutely. I think he's just doing stuff around the fact that he is like scanner's style

pumping his penis into an insane state. He's developed the accoutremon even though he's doing it with his mind and he's in internal powers. I think the nutmeg and stuff is just kind of part of the ceremonies and the rituals for him now. Yes, dude. As he, he's just blasting that thing out purely with the power of his mind. A hundred percent.

The shoes were never switched on. Yes. For him with all the stuff that he does. Take the penis pop off, my friend. The penis pump was never doing anything. It had a faulty O rig. And your dick looks great.

I now tried a few hits of pop as well. expanded in the tube and wow just a light whiff of Popper and my cock felt like times ten I do think you should be reading this more Europeanly he's definitely

something like that what was the thing that gave it away last time he called it like noon hour I think was he's like his little Euro tell this is just like this is Scandinavian behaviour I just think this is just like it's Scandinavian behaviour I was thinking... This is just like it's Scandinavian coded.

This smacked of Belgian. This is German today. I was German. It's Benelux coded. Have you got a guess? Region were you picking for this stuff. I was not like Dutch, but we would have led with that. Yeah.

I don't know. A Dutch pervert. Anyone got any... No, just kidding. Amazingly, the nutmeg greatly increased and prolonged the effects of the poppers. It was all I could do to stop blowing my load in the vacuum tube. Why do you have to stop?

What was all he could do? Is that not the point? Yeah. No, because then it's over. Yeah. Oh. Yeah. Yeah.

Smile because it happened. Yeah. And then spend three hours cleaning out your vacuum tube. Does anyone know, are you not supposed to come in the tube? I don't think the tube is for. It's not for fucking, right? It's not for fucking. The tube isn't for pleasure.

The tube is a utility. The tube is a utility. My utilitarian penis pump. Two highly intelligent people. I think we can both agree. Yeah, I agree. The tubas a utility. It is now evening

and I am still horny as hell from the nutmeg and my cock is bloated. You're just the horniest dude in the world. I hate bloated Houston that cold too. That's like I'm buttoning the top of your peterces pants sitting on the couch

and be like, oh, one too many chalupas. See, this is another reason I think this is in English as a second language thing because I would not use a word that is strongly associated with the discovery of a dead body.

Decay. To describe my dick. A corpse. Yeah. I'm now going to vacuum one more time with poppers before going to bed. I am not bullshitting about this experience today. Deadly fucking serious. I have read that nutmeg oil rubbed externally on the genitals has aphrodisiac properties,

but this was much more than I expected. I've tried baby gel mixed with ground black pepper applied to the full length of the penis before inserting into the genitals. Oh. vacuum tube. Don't. Sir, refrain. I think you can be, you can be too horny.

That's too horny. You can easily be too horny. There's an normal amount of stuff to do around human sexuality, and it's whatever the four of us agree on. Yes. Anything else is just a little too. Ah. Yeah.

Not enough. Too much. He's describing this as his first time doing the gel and the nutmeg and the pump and everything, right? Eight years after the... Eight years after that. I just... I feel like, do it one time,

and that's your control, you know? I feel like he's just settling in for... Oh, the first time I tried this out, I did 18 hours of pumping and edging my dick insanely. Yeah. It's not, you're not like a sample kind of thing. You're not leaving yourself anywhere to go. You're kind of blowing your load early, in a sense.

I think... Yeah. Yeah. This guy has nowhere to go. Once you're making some kind of paste out of black pepper to smear on your balls, you've done too much stuff. There's no worlds for you discover anymore. No, you'll be in a romantic relationship and she'll be like, so what are you into?

And you're like, well, wow. Get comfy. Let me get some of my posts up. Are you familiar with Eroids? After 15 minutes, my penis will be on fire with extremely. Pleasure as it pumps bigger and bigger. Isn't it funny that how the two kind of, you've got pleasure on one hand.

And then... And paint on the other. What kind of line is it? Well, I think it's a very blurry line. Especially in the intermingle. Then I take a hit of Popper, unbelievably intense. I might even try the nutmeg and pepper together

with the poppers and vacuum tube. No, do you. No, you're going to make the fucking gel from the end of Evangelion. Make your dick end the world. I feel like the whole time this guy's doing this, his mind is on what's next. You know?

All right, why do I... What could I possibly? Always doing horizon searching. This guy went. His mind on where he was. No more shit to do to his junk. I think it's like how we've got billions and billions of songs written and yet not the same song.

again. I think he has the whole world to discover to put on his dick. Cuman. Yeah. Spoked paprika. Yeah. Smoked paprika. Yeah. Sweet paprika.

That's just the paprika. That's all three. That's all three paprikas. How long do you reckon we've been going for? Ten years. We're not done yet. not that, but I mean, I forgot to check. We'd probably be doing like 45 minutes so far, right?

Does that sound true to you guys in your hearts? Yeah. It is 80s. We're not allowed to have our phones up here, apparently. I don't remember saying that. Couldn't bring our fidgets. If you wanted to tell us this episode was too long, you could do it by contacting us on the Buntavista Hotline.

515, that's the PuntaVista hotline You can say it doesn't even Vista.com, maybe DM us on Twitter You could even message Facebook But we don't really check the Facebook Yeah, 1003117 100317 515

That's the point of vista hotline Now I don't know if you guys remember this No. Somewhat recently in the bonus episode, so I'm not going to point anyone out. A couple of people here you might not have heard it. Or maybe you would. Was it freemium freeberry?

I don't know. Maybe it was actually. No, that's all good. In the bonus episode, a bit of cum falls out of Don Draper's pussy. Yep. We talked about the possible benefits, medically, scientifically speaking,

of getting more organs donated than you need. Yes. I'm acquiring kidneys. Yeah, like a fun hypothetical, what if you're just like, ah, chuck another healthy one in there. Two good, three better, et cetera. Yeah, we got a lot of corrections about that

from people with more sort of fact-oriented brains than like... Yeah. Who thought we were asking you genuine questions? Fun-oriented kind of brains. A lot of people, including my beautiful wife, to me directly, pointed out that, hello, my beautiful wife. I love you. They pointed out that they don't take the kidney out.

Oh shit. Which, well, I thought it was assumed knowledge for all of us. Which is true. They leave the kidney in and then they put the other kidneys in. Unless there's something extremely wrong with it or... So, did anybody else know this? Yeah. It's not everyone.

I didn't know. So there's room for an extra kidney. Well, there's room. It's only a little filler. I don't know what it's like in there. So then why couldn't you fit in another liver? Yeah. And they should.

Yeah. Yeah. We see another liver. Well, so obviously we all knew that. That's kind of irrespective. That's beside the point. But I did learn something that I thought was quite interesting. This was sent into us by listener Nick.

Thank you, Nick. Dear Buntus Vista. It's a good one. That's the one that I prefer. That's probably the best one. Very respectful. On a recent episode, you were wondering if it was possible to have more than one kidney. I'm a nurse.

Thank you for your service. And this is one of my have butts of medical trivia. This guy sounds fucking insane. My what? Have butts? Yeah. Normally when someone has a kidney transplant, they don't take the old one out.

Yeah, shut up, we know. I didn't know. The old kidney normally still works a bit and the risks of removing it means it's not worth the trouble. The current record is seven kidneys. Yeah. Fuck yeah.

And there's some people that don't have even one. That we are talking. You bring enough kidneys for the whole class. Kidney's short over here. I feel so validated. You can be crammed full of extra organs. Yeah. He's silent up to the urinal.

Like, watch out. I'm pissing for three and a half. Step aside. Now, that's a nice, that's a good guess. Thank you. He's had seven transplants. That's not. Nine kidneys.

I don't think that should be allowed. Oh. This is fun. Park the riddle master. No, so some. He was standing on ice. He's had. He's had.

One of the kidneys fell out of a plane. Mind trap. He had seven transplant, so theoretically nine kidneys in total, but some of the ones that were rejected earlier on had to be taken out. And no one gave me, all the people I phoned emailed, no one gave me a solid number, but it looks like it's in the ballpark of, oh, probably about seven, the thing that you said earlier.

Seven, yeah, so three, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So he's Dutch. his man is Bjorn van Emple Of course He had his first transplant in 1985 At the age of seven

So he He lost all kidney function Because of a complication From an ear infection Which is fucking crazy Oh Yeah don't put that shit off Go to the doctor

Men You're allowed to go to the doctor Yeah I won't But I think it would be very Untoxic masculinity Of other men to do it And that's when he got his first taste of

extra kidney. Oh, my kidney hurts. I think he's addicted to kidney. He's showing up at the emergency room and saying, more kidney. He's always looking to the horizon. He's getting one put in. He's like, I could get another one in there.

Yeah, fuck. I bet we could get another. Going around. Oh, there's room in there. Oh, there's room. Doctor, you're never going to believe what's happened. Yeah. Yeah, they're pissing blood again.

Struggling to breathe. Can I show you? No. One more kidney. You don't need to see it. So his last one seems to have solved all of his shit He got a donation from his sister In her kidney

2014 That they had some new medication that helped with Rejection Syndrome stuff or whatever Why didn't she give him I was right at the start You know? Why she'd been holding out all this time? It turns out that was the perfect kidney

And she's kind of being a bitch about it Yeah That's why I put this story in her In here, fuck her honestly. Now I tried to find more about this guy but there's not a lot out there. I did find his Instagram account.

About his home address. It's found his work. I know where he parks his car. It's a locked account. He's only got like 100 or so followers or whatever. Not a big deal. Request. Have you requested the...

I thought that would be a little bit weird. I thought he'd gone through enough without learning about this podcast. He probably doesn't listen to the show. But I did... So like the one bit of information you get from someone when you look at their profile when it's locked

is you get their bio and I thought that you know this guy's gone through something none of us can really fucking understand right

like these chronic health conditions his whole line that'd be my handle yeah there's all biose well time kidney eating champion I'm kidney maxing

time kidney maxing just like seven bean emojis just like seven bean emojis if you've got kidneys. cavities. Let's make it happen. There's always room in the abdomen.

He has one little thing that and it's just a really like, it's an interesting, very thought provoking bit of wisdom I thought. Like, you know, crazy life. He's got so much to tell us. And he does this in only like three words, like a real shift in perspective for me. It's just a question. It's a simple question. And he asks us, why so serious? Yeah. Just because he has a lot of kids. doesn't mean he's not cridge. He's just walking around

getting fucking punched in the stomach being such a nerd. Twain keeps needing them replaced. He's getting married his deanied over and over. Oh. Doctor, it happened again. They should stop giving him the kidneys.

Calling up your doctor in the middle of that. Need another kidney, please. Please. Now we've reached the bit of my notes that says bottom of the barrel zone. Woo! Yes! Unlike the Cowboys in their signs. Yeah.

Just a bit of harmless fun. Now one of these, I think we should do... These are both pretty dire. One of them I want to do only because I want to play the theme, and I think it's a segment that is more or less universally hated. But if it's the second last one, you'll kind of forget about it because the last one's going to be, oh, Christ, it might be some people's favorite segment.

I don't think it is. I don't think there's a single person. Now, this theme song that I'm about to play for you was only just given to us, and it was given to us by Alyssa, who I believe is in the room currently. Now, instead of shouting him out afterwards, I shout him out before,

because that means if you're not enjoying it, you can hurl abuse it. Um, Joe, I think you know I'm talking about you. Are you in the room somewhere? No, not in the room? Oh, hey, there is. All right. Stand up. Take your shirt off.

Pop it off. Pants down. Shut off. Shoes, stay on. All right, boo in the direction of that corner over there if you don't like it. Uh, it is time for Trendwatch. Welcome to Trendwatch. Welcome to Vista Innovation, Acceleration, Micropulse segment.

your one-stop inside hub for tomorrow's conversation today. We'll deep dive, thought shower, and blue sky the latest disruptive paradigm shifts shaping our collective now. Whether it's a viral meme, a geopolitical flashpoint, or an entirely new way to mispronounce, diagetic.

We're here to synergize the signals. I don't know who that's for. We don't just follow trends. We curate momentum. We transform. cultural noise into actionable insights with measurable vibe KPIs. So tighten your synergy belt, align your engagement funnels, and let's benchmark the zeitgeist right here on Trendwatch.

I said to Ben, when you sent it in, you had said, oh, my friend said that maybe it's too long and I should make it shorter by half, and I said, no. No, we don't do that on this show. No, unfortunately, it's totally correct. It already has been really upset. Live appearances. This comes to us from Stephen Johnson, the grocer-a-unt guru.

What? Grosser-a-a-unt-heads. A live show. Grosser-a-a-guru, I will find you and kill you. I will shoot you between the cap and your teeth. Seems like a lovely guy. Yeah. From the gross art guru

Oh, 7-Eleven's Big Bite In the Age of Time-starved customers Legacy icon Or launchpad for fresh fast Sorry What? What the fuck did you just I'll explain

No brand in the convenience ecosystem Has historically leveraged A proprietary food item Like 7-11 with its big bite The Roller Grill once symbolized immediacy, affordability and accessibility. It was

hot, ready and under $2. And... Ladies. It's everything I want. Fuck. An edible billboard for frictionless consumption. Fuck you. Frickshenless.

An edible billboard for frictionless consumption. Is this a hot dog? Is this a big hot dog? Oh, it's a hot dog. It's a hot dog. It's a hot dog. It's frictionless. You are making me picture someone just.

swallowing a foot a foot long without it touching anything yeah yeah yeah yeah glizzy gobb glizzy gobbling yeah what's our boy

Joey that guy Joey chestnut star Glissie Glezzan yeah shout out Ghibblings amen shout out retired he's retired now right

but he came back I heard from the audience just then Joy chestnut came back or is he retired again fuck Kobayashi we're at Joey chestnut household from the

grosserod guru perspective, the question is no longer whether the Big Bite is iconic, it's whether it's strategically sufficient. Yeah, it's like poison, isn't it? I actually, I'm really, I feel very validated by hearing that groan

of discomfort wash through this group of people, because fucking upsets me. I feel very happy that like we had our beautiful friend Tom Walker on the show one time and we did one of these. And if you've listened to Big Soft Diddy, which I hope you have.

Tom finds some upsetting content and this is one of the first things I've ever seen and say Can we stop talking about this? The turn either refuses to drink his pee. Oh, we're not moving on? I love this. We're like, we're little piggyes. And this is our slop trough.

Like, yeah. Any copyrights in the house? Anybody writing content for a living? I know you're in there. Yeah. We'll find you afterwards. This feels good to you. Today's consumer lives, today's consumer lives in an ecosystem.

It's very ambiguous. It's a funny thing, isn't it? We should fix that. Yeah. Today's consumer lives in an ecosystem defined by immediacy. One hour fulfillment from Amazon, delivery aggregation from Grubhub, and on-demand mobility via Uber have recalibrated expectations around access. My treats now.

Smooth friction. Not a different. Sliding in. Immediate consumption is no longer a differentiator. It's table stakes. Incremental data points shaping the C store food opportunity.

Here we go. Here are the incremental data points. Over 70% of Gen Z and millennials say freshly prepared is more important than hot and ready. Okay. I do feel like we have slightly high standards about like

the hot box at a servo. What the fuck kind of? dichotomy is that. No, I think we like hot and ready. I think millennials like hot and ready. No, I think millennials like fresh and prepared. I think boomers love hot and ready.

Oh, boomers love hot and ready. We know that for a fact. Yeah. Almost as much as they love like a house-made sausage roll with a house-made chutney. Relish or a chutney. Yeah, relish or a chutney at like Millennial Montfield at a small cafe.

Yeah, and coming back, coming back like, hey, can I, uh, do you get that in a bottle? Can I take some of that home? Did you make that chutney here? That's a crazy chutty. I don't know. Everyone's getting on board with boobers love chutneys. You ever been to a regional cafe and the boobers are like,

oh my God, this chutney is crazy. But when we talk about hot and ready versus... You guys don't go to regional hubs. A little big chutney heads. When we say hot and ready versus fresh and prepared, this is inside the context of a 7-Eleven, right? Yeah, a C-store generally, yeah. Or a C-store opportunity like a service station.

What does that mean? What are you keep saying? What do you keep saying? A sea store? Theo's on the sea store diet. He sees anecdotes and he's taught him for luncheys. So I'm sitting next to this guy on the train, right? And he's like, I've gone blind in my right eye.

You need to, if, like, you've got to see, it's, you know, if you've got high pressure in your eye, you've got to take it seriously. It's like as soon as it gets above 20, you've got to be the, like getting that checked and mine's like hitting like a 24 at the moment like my eyeballs are like ready to explode so I'm like going blind at any stage my hey my eyeballs he's like if you go above 20 you're fucked and you've had the pressure of your eyeballs measured recently yeah they get it's like um you know the yeah are you not getting your eyeballs measured are you guys not getting your eyeballs measured they don't give me the number you guys checking your

pressure at the servo? It's important. Let's all say our eyeball pressure numbers at the same time, let's go. That sounds really low. Are your eyes about to collapse in on themselves? I don't know what the range is. I'm worried about you now.

So 24. So 24 is bad. And you're at 20. Yeah, it's bad if you're at 20. Are you redlining right now? Yeah. Yeah. Well, shit.

Yeah. And I'm like, well, shit. So we poke a little hole and we let some of the pressure out? No. You don't want me to do that? They just like, oh, you know, it might go away. I'd love to hear that.

You might go blind, might not. Anyway, what were you saying? And you were talking to a guy on the train about this? I had no choice. Or is this like a comedy setup? You're like, I met a guy on the train today. This was at 3 a.m. while Theo was trying to sleep sitting up on the fucking train. What pressure are you?

You started to, you started to riff about anecdotes. That's true. And I thought, okay. He's an anecdote. You're asking for it. Did that man know that he was seated next to the exact right person who had the number for their eyeball pressure

ready to go? Like when I, they do the thing when I get my eyes checked. Yeah, the rude robot. And they say, puffs in your eyeball. Yeah, that way we're like, ah! Oh, I had my eye puffed on.

My eyes been puffed on. Don't do that. Don't blow in my eyes. That is rude. I'll just close them. Go for it. I lost myself in it. Yeah.

Dream state for a second. Yeah. Yeah, get back to the frictionless hot dog. They never tell me the number. They're just like, your eyes aren't a problem. Yeah, that's how you know that... Oh, your eyes are a problem. Yeah, it's kind of like if you know the number of your eyeball pressure, you're fucked.

You're already... It's already too late. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway. We'll try to not get stressed out about anything ever. More than 60% of convenience food purchases are now influenced by perceived health attributes.

Don't go to the fucking convenience. That's your first mistake. What are you doing? You're there because you're drunk. My 7-11 glizzy, loaded with protein. Probably. Thick with protein. I mean, it probably is. It probably is.

Where's the fiber, though? You know? You don't need it. What's it going to do to your vagus nerve? Something good? Maybe. All right. I want to update you guys now.

Other people will find this out later when we talk about it, but we were just discussing today, the metta has moved again. Meta was previously protein. We moved to fiber. The matter is now the vagus nerve. Yep. So get your Vegas nerve, get your Vegas nerve sorted out.

Since when? I thought we were still on fiber. Protein fiber, cortisol, Vegas nerve. Yep. So keep that in mind. You guys are actually, for once, I think,

ahead of the curve. Yeah, one step ahead, yeah, just in case you get into any conversations. If you're hearing the recording, you're behind. Should have been there. Yeah. You're fucked again.

Late to Vegas nerve. What happens? That's not a good joke. No, that's bad. Go on. No, not worth finishing. your joke. No!

You're just going to leave that, you can leave that joke? You can assemble your cells at home if you like. Nearly half of urban C-store visits of food forward missions. Food forward.

You still haven't explained what a fucking C-store convenience store, right? Just convenience store. I think the crowd shouted out and shout it out of it out. Yeah, we're filtering that out. You told me backstage,

do not interact with them. I've been trying to. They're very compelling. No eye contact. So what does that piece of paper say? Oh. Was it? No audience interaction.

Yeah. You activated his trap. Mind trap. The correct answer was silence, by the way. Ben, I feel like the trend report and mind trap was two things that have made me the maddest in recent memory. Those fucking puzzles from MindTrap. We should just work through like one mind trap question per.

A whole episode. It's a deck of mind trap. It'll make us geniuses like it did to me as a child. Is that what they did to you? That's what I did to myself because of what I already had. In some ways, looking through mind trap cards on a boat is better than school. And in other important ways. Now look at Joe. Wouldn't be where he is today.

It's devastating There's so much of this left to go Are you guys The longest fucking articles in the world This was a mistake All of this Are you guys worried about getting home at like a reasonable time What time did the buses end

All right that's fair Are you guys worried about getting home Let's close the doors No No No I bought the nutmeg No mass suicide talk tonight

Knock it off! Oh, we were both thinking very different things. Okay. And who is correct? Yeah, me. As always. I think Theo just started having fun for the first time in this episode. That means the roller grill cannot simply turn.

It must transform. Fuck off! Is the roller grill the thing the hot dogs used to spin on? Yes. What else are we putting on? There. Toonails. Call back to the Gipi Live show.

Who's heard that episode? Yeah. A lot of toenail stuff in that episode. How fuck, that's so many people in this room. Yeah. Probably all 35. Now we're easily 38 people in that room. The Big Bite remains, one, affordable.

Correct. Recognizable. Correct. Operational efficient? Extremely correct. You know it. High margin. Why are we even saying this?

Yeah. It's the bits of the pig or whatever that no one wants. We tubed the pig. We tubed whatever animals we had. Dick Dix. You want that tube style? Try to think of what other animal that are dick-dick. Ad Varks.

Yep. They got him. One more. Oh, belugal. Yes! Three animals. Smoking weed doesn't make you stupid. Yeah.

However, margin without momentum becomes. stagnation. Yeah. Okay, yeah. That's true. Yeah, sure. Contrast that with competitors such as sheets, rudders, and wah-wah, which emphasize made-to-order food platforms,

touchscreen, customization, and chef-driven, limited-time offers. Don't like ordering on a touchscreen. I hate the touchscreen. It makes me feel bad. I like it. Oh, that's strange. You don't have to talk to anybody. I'm just going to start randomly skipping paragraphs.

Thank you. Thank God. The halo effect of better for you is not optional. It is foundational. Customers increasingly anchor brand trust to ingredient transparency and perceived wellness. The roller grill can keep turning, but the strategy behind it must accelerate. Wow. Into the future.

Does it? None of those sentences meant anything, by the way. Well, some of the explainer sentences I sort of skipped over. Do you guys want Tom and Demi Can you hear me from here? Yes. Holy fuck!

Hi Denny. Would you be mad if we did one more segment? Is that okay? Would you guys be mad if we did one more segment? A little bit. It's one there. Fair enough. All right.

It's time for, and now we have to listen to the theme again because of how you constructed it earlier. Yes. It's time for stuff we should chat about. Hey Here comes some stuff We should chat about

I have to piss so bad Me too I don't We might move on to chat about We're chatting about Stuff Yeah baby I actually have two of these

But depending on how quick the first one Is we might move on to the second one We might not Okay so the first one is whatever happened to dongles like a USB dongle yeah no one's

no one's talking about dongles anymore in case you guys are worried we're not going to get 10 minutes out of whatever happened to dongles we'll throw to Tom and Demi sued I was using dongles just the other day to put

Linux on some shit I don't think it's spiritually a don't I think it's just a flash drive What's a doc? What's a dock? What's a dock? A doc's not a dongle What's never been a dongle? What do you mean by a dongle? Are you talking about it? You know what I mean by dongle?

What do you mean by dongle? Not like dongles. Like just, you know, when people be like I got to get the dongle. Yeah, yeah, yeah, or like a USB Dongle. Or like a HTML kind of thing. Yeah, or you have to like verify that's your security thing was your dongle. You got to put that in because the keys on the dongle.

What was the last time? Who here is saying? the word dongle out loud in the last month. Wow, the exception that proves the rule. It sounds like we've got a lot of dongle heads in here. What are we doing here? You're right. We'll move on to the second one.

Okay, so you know how I've advanced the theory that there's no such thing as straight or gay people because everyone is bisexual, which I believe to be true. that's why I advanced the theory based on my own personal experiences in life. All those papers you've written. That's right.

White papers, things of that nature. Quartet journals. White papers? I wanted to expand on the theory a little bit further. I think that that's, I admit, a bit of a gross oversimplification. Like, I don't think it's fair to just say

everyone's a bisexual. You're not going to point at the audience and declare everyone bisexual? I mean, I can tell from all. A few. I think that there are actually like there's a phylum within this kingdom or whatever.

Didn't do the, you know, I didn't... Oh, that's right, you're right. Didn't do any of those courses at school. You're doing so good, buddy. Thank you so much. I believe that there are different types of bisexual and I think you'll know them when you hear them. So the first type...

Let's see where this goes. We'll see a show of hands. If you hear yourself described. The first type is the straight bisexual. So this is when you see someone and you're like, you know them and you're like, oh, oh, they're also into people of the same gender. Where you're like, oh, it's a surprise that they're bisexual. That's a straight bisexual, right?

So you can then, we can use that logic. Do the inverse. The gay bisexual is when you know a gay person. You're like, oh, they also have sex with people with the other gender as well. Do you follow? Like, you know some people in your life where you're like, that's a straight bisexual. Like, I'd describe myself probably as a straight bisexual. I think a lot of people would look at me and be like, oh.

I think you're a gay bisexual, actually. Lucy, thank you so much. I mean, like, I aspire to be a gay bisexual, but I think based on sort of all of this and the these guys in my life, and sort of how much I groom myself, I'm sort of stuck on, stuck on this one. But obviously, you can count so you know that that leaves a third time. Hmm. Which I am.

A mysterious secret bisexual. I have chosen to call the sacred bisexual which is where the person we're just like, yep at no point where you're like I think there or I think that you're just like yeah, there's no I wonder if

which you know I know a bunch of sacred bisexuals I do think they make up only like 5% of the population. I think everyone else gay bisexual or straight bisexual and then there is like 5% the sacred bisexual. Yeah they're only 5% but they can donate to anybody I also believe that they're having like 60% of the sex

Oh absolutely Now I feel like I kind of lost I'm going to say about 50% of people And I think this is the straight bisexuals Because they're getting defensive Ah Yeah Now I'm one of you

I'm speaking as one of you And I think it's fun I think it's actually beautiful to be It's our word That's valid I think straight bisexual men hold up a lot of the sky where you're just like, oh my god, this guy fucks dudes

and also he can like drive. And he will like... Yeah, but it's a Subaru that you're driving. So where the fuck does that leave you? You spend another like three grand keeping that piece of shit car on the road. This has got to be the end of this episode, right? Fuck.

I think so. Yeah. Thank you, Damme. Thank you. I'm so fucking excited for BST. Go get a drink. Goodbye forever. Bye.