Boonta Vista - EPISODE 439: In The Body Of A Weasel (with Alexei Toliopoulos)

Episode Date: March 29, 2026

Television personality Alexei Toliopoulos joins Theo, Andrew, and Ben to discuss: A spiteful complaint against the flight of a lifetime, the people who love the TSA, the time-travelling weasel theory, and the state of Australian cryonics. *** Go see Alexei! Find dates and tickets here: https://comedy.com.au/tour/alexei-toliopoulos/ *** Outro: Supercoven - Electric Wizard *** Support our show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista *** Email the show at [e-mail]! Call in and leave us a question or a message on 1800-317-515 to be answered on the show! *** Website: boontavista.com Twitch: twitch.tv/boontavista

I get hit in the nuts before? Are he like film? Champion comedy. Hello and welcome to Buda Vista, episode 439. I'm Ben, and I'm here with a group of like-minded individuals who are using the limitless power of artificial intelligence to create cinematic masterworks at the press of a button.

With me is Theo, who has made a bad-looking video where he's hanging out with Iron Man. Hey, man. This is my friend Iron Man. This is awesome, dude. I'm looking at the video. There's Iron Man. You, oh my God, chopping it up. I bet you thought that I was really hanging out with Iron Man, but it's not. It's actually, it's an AI video, but pretty cool.

Pretty cool still, right? Oh, and there's me with Legulus and me with, uh, me with that fucked little creature that gets turned inside out and Willow. One of the trolls from Willow? No, he's getting, he's getting turned inside out. That's no good. All right. Don't like that one.

Looks real, though. Like, looks crazy real. It's insane. It doesn't look creepy or terrifying at all. That's the best. And they got this deal with Disney going too. So soon it'll be like, well,

they don't. They don't anymore. That's off. And they got, they've scrapped it. They scrapped that one. Yeah, that's gone.

But they were going to have a, we were going to do the thing with like Mickey Mouse. Me and, me and Mickey Mouse hanging out. Yeah. You could like, movie night, Friday night at the pad.

And you could say, hey, make me a movie. Hey, yeah, I'm just going to put on some Mickey Mouse. And everyone's like, yeah.

Love that guy. And then it becomes slowly dawning on them that it's me and Mickey Mouse hanging out. Yeah. And they're like, holy fuck, did you do, did you go to Hollywood to get this made? I go, no, brother. Be honest with me. What was he like to hang out with in person?

Like, was he a good hang? Was he chill? Got the call from John Disney. Mickey Mouse can't be fucking a good hang. What are you talking about? No one's gone like, I can't hang out. I can't wait to hang out with my boy Mickey Mouse. I would say he would have one of the more annoying voices to be around for any

stretch of time. Oh my God. Why'd they choose that one? He's telling you a story and you're like, hang on. I'm just going to put my little, um, my little, yeah, they're my earbuds for autism. My little hoop headphones. They just, they just block out Mickey Mouse's voice. Oh, ha, let's talk out.

Let's catch up. I'm like, ugh, yuck, yuck. I'm busy. I'm so busy at the moment, Mickey. I'm sorry. I'd love to. I had a really bad child. Lucy's actually on a hinged.

with Mickey Mouse today. Well, Lucy, I don't bring up that Lucy is currently on a hinge date instead of recording this podcast. She asked us to. Yeah, she did specifically say, I'm on a hinge date, new line.

Let the world know. Yeah. Good luck, Lucy. Also with me is someone who has made a bad looking video where he's hanging out with Iron Man. It's Andrew. Hey, bud. I've also been hanging with Tony Stark this week. Not at the same time as Iron Man.

Same video? They could. He's his bodyguard. He's his bodyguard. But, you know, that's just a little bit of... It's kind of like hanging out with Elon Musk. You know? Awesome.

He is kind of like the Tony Stark. Fuck, he'd be like talking about rockets and stuff. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And he's like super smart, but he's also pretty cool. Yeah, pretty cool. Like, he likes meming and stuff. He's sort of a bit of a meme lord.

Like leather jackets and cowboy hair. That's both really cool things. They're super awesome. Kind of like the real life. Tony Stark's. Yeah. It's exactly. He's like Tony Stark.

That's right. Speaking of Tony Stark's, I just saw like the Wu-Tang Clan are currently in Australia for their final. It's better be going somewhere you're on. What they have purported to be their final tour where you're ever going to be able to see all. the surviving members in one place. And they advertised and sold tickets in Australia on that basis. And I have been seeing videos from the Wutang Clan

concerts where the Rizza is on stage explaining why Methodman and Capadonna and Raqwan are not attending. And it's because on a 23-hour flight, you would be forced to take a shit on the plane. And that's pretty yuck.

And that's... Wow. That's the extent of the explanation. They're using my five-year-old's excuse. Well, that's also my excuse. Won't use an airplane bathroom. Yeah, because you've kind of got like these, like hang-ups about. A couple of things that I can't do. Hey, I got over the one that didn't let me use automatic doors.

So, right? You're a tall boy as well. You're a tall boy. When you get in there, you're like, you've got to walk in kind of sideways. Your head is already tilted on an angle before you slide in. I guess I don't know what it's like to be the tall man. Oh, I know what it's like. Wait, so does this mean that they will be joining?

later dates on the tour. No, I assume they attended the American leg of the tour, but they've come to Australia and they're like, the flight was too long, but they had to... The flight was too long on this international tour they were doing.

It's like a 13-hour flights direct from LA. I got to congratulate Method Man, because to be that regular we go, there's a 23-hour period. I definitely am going to take a shit. Like, to know for sure that there's no way to hold the in. To have a cadence?

My God, good on him. Like, you know, it's hard as you get older to have all the fibers. You've got to be conscious of it. I'll shit anywhere just to be totally clear. I'll shit in any venue. Wait, did you just say you do clear shits? Dude, that's piss. What are you talking about?

My piss is opaque too. Terrible time to find out that your piss is okay. take. That'd be awesome if your body did like the same sort of like flagging that you're dehydrated with your shits as well. If it's brown, you've fucked up. It should be perfectly seen.

I think it's coming out brown. If you do a perfect shit, it comes, if you have a perfect diet, it comes out like a nice gel, like a nice log of jelly. Like a, like a can of dog food from the 80s.

It should be coming out. Yeah. But also, it surely. Obviously, now that you say it, it should be a crystal Pepsi situation. Yeah. Yeah. You know?

I was just thinking of a guy whose piss comes out clear and he looks down and he just sees water in the toilet. And he's like, what? Maybe I did piss. But don't put it straight at the place. It'll get mixed in with the water, which it is. Supernatural event. I pissed, but then there was no evidence that it had happened. Incredible.

Also with me. His podcaster, film critic, actor, comedian, performer, Gormond, and as the Germans would say, a Liebenz Kunstler, a life artist, a man whose very life is the artistic work is creating, lounging erotically on camera in front of us. It's Alexei Tolioplas. Sure is. And he's also made a bad-looking video where he's hanging out with Iron Man.

Hey, Jarvis, set boosters to awesome. I think Iron Man's catchphrase should be now. money. I think that would just be like he's flying for the first time and he says Jarvis, this is cash money. Hey Jarvis, this is fucking money, dude.

And I know, I've got heaps of it. I'm rich. Heaps of money. I'm rich, bitch. Because I'm Tony Starks. Tony Starks. Really famous billionaire. You're a shame this dream is over now though, right? Like,

that they're not doing this anymore. Well, yeah. No more. No more legally authorized. We can't make our own videos anymore. Like if we dream something, we can't see it. Yes. That's why I have to dream more often. I can't see anything in my mind.

Alexei is a lover of film and cinema. How do you feel about that whole tech push for? Actually, what people really want is they want a movie that they're in. They want to make a movie and they want to say, actually, I'll have London has fallen, Gerard Butler, but also I'm in the movie with Gerard Butler. It's a buddy comedy now. I'm also plunging combat knives through the top of the skull of Middle Eastern terrorists and then quipping. But turn up, turn up by 20% the amount that Gerard Butler laughs and my jokes when I say them.

And all my friends are like, holy shit, that's you. Dude, you look ripped. Dude, you know London has fallen. You got to hang out with London has fallen? That's awesome, dude. What was Morgan Freeman actually like? Yeah. I believe he's in those movies as well, right?

He is. He seems pretty wise, dude. Wow. He seems like he has a lot of knowledge ready to share to improve your life. I would say it's a no-brainer, man. As we all know, the biggest thing in literature is when one goes to those little books, those little stores inside a giant mall that just that prints out a book with your kids name in it somewhere.

I mean, that's the biggest thing in literature. So of course, film has been desperate to recreate it by putting just normal guys in the movies where they can make out with Padma Amadala and fight Phanos in one fell swoop. I'm going to be the one to beat Yoda. I can finally be Yoda. I'm going to crush that little green. Fuck.

He made Count Duku look fucking stupid, but I'm going to cleft him in Twain. I'm going to fucking shred Yoda. There was a guy talking about, oh, fuck, I'm not going to forget his name, a YouTuber, he's talking about Sona, the music version of this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he went and asked a bunch of people like, hey, you know, if you're using Sona, what are you listening to for inspiration? And they're all like, I don't listen to anything else except my own music.

Oh, that's good. Like, that's demented, dude. You're a half person. It's a real photocopy of a photocopy of a photocopy of a photocopy. We got to at least be listening to some Primo Australian comedy podcasts. That's what you've got at least be trying into. Keep doing that for inspiration. We'll tell you about the world.

You don't need to learn about it through anything else. You're sort of synesthastasic, right? It's like, you know, you're hearing us talk, but you're also hearing like beautiful music and like seeing colors and stuff. Yeah. I think a lot of people listening to this episode, they go, well, my synesthesia's going crazy. It's coming in as the color clear like my shit.

When I can't see any colors, that was the best of all. I feel like we're kind of, we're on this slow march to maybe inventing the technology that they'll use on us when they get around to making like the ISO cubes from Judge Dred or like the prison from minority report, you know. They stick you down in there and you just get to... Or the prison from demolition man. Yep. You just get to be in Kingdom Hearts.

Yeah. They call that heaven in blindsight. Name a prison, Alexey. Name a prison right now. Escape from Absalom or no escape. The Matrix. We're in the Matrix, dude. Oh, dude, this is like the fucking Matrix.

Wow. Except instead of Chiata, it's me. Yeah. and it's me sitting up in that tank the rave scene from Reloaded and it's just you having sex with Trinity while Zion by fluke plays actually it's pretty dope

deeply erotic sexual and cool moment in cinema you guys were all in Sydney recently did you see any Matrix locations did you go visit the classic Matrix skyline half of it's in like around Surrey Hills right like darling there's

sorry hill stuff we were right there we could have done that. I fucked up. We could have seen some of the alleyways from the chase towards the end of the first one. My favorite is where he wasn't enjoying his time. Oh, yeah, that's Elassian now. My favorite Matrix thing is because it's like when you rewatch the movie, you know, the most iconic sequence in the Matrix is that final moment where Neo is like bending backwards

and dodging the bullets in his bullet time. Of course. It's like iconic. Like everybody knows that scene. But if you watch it as an Australian now, it's awesome because the Telstra logo is in the background the whole time. Like it's like one of the most iconic scenes in cinema history and you've just got Telstra in the background the whole time. No wonder it hits so hard. I felt patriotism while I was watching it because I believe it was filmed when they were still a public company.

They should have stayed that way. Have you seen that it's Ethan Hawke, Willem Defoe, Vampire movie filmed at Australia. Daybreakers by the series. Daybreakers. Also starring Vince Colossimo. Fuck, I forgot that. Jesus. Huge for him.

Huge. To see Vince on the big screen with my heroes Willem the foe as a vampire. It's always fun when you're watching something and it's not said in Australia and your brain is just pinging with all of the extremely Australian things that you're seeing. Triangle, that movie was Melissa George. I mean, the Matrix as well, right? Like, follow the white rabbit. Ada Nicodemu, mate, Ada Nicodemu. Americans will never understand the significance of having Ada Nicodemu in the Matrix trilogy.

One of the biggest film triloges of all time is... And there's Ada Nicodemu gothed up. The very best one, I would say, is Star Wars Episode 2 Attack of the Clones. There's obviously so many Ozzy in that. It's amazing. But the best is... There's these deleted scenes where they're on the boo, and Anakin is meeting Padmae's family

and she has a sister played by Claudia Carvin and I worked with Claudia Carvin for like one day and I was always like I gotta ask her about this because I was like do you do you Can't ask you it? I have to ask her the most annoying question I was just like is that the most feedback you've ever got like she's like yeah that's the most fan mail I've ever got

is from these deleted scene from Star Wars and then also Padma's dad is played by Graham Blund who's most famous for playing Alvin Purple, the star of Australia's classic sex comedies from the 70s. And it's awesome that Padmae's dad is fucking Alvin Purple. I think that's crazy. I think when we saw the, so Ben and Co.

for Balfe put on Speed Racer at the cinema. Magnificent. Whatever was left on the rails when kick gory showed up on screen was then immediately derailed. That was the end of the cinema experience for like the front three rows because all it was heard from then

I was like, let's kick gory. Every time he appeared, we're all turning to each other. That's Australia's kick gurry. That's a strange kick gory up there. Definitely one of those phrases that will drive you insane. If you say Australia's kick gurry, Like 10 or 15 times. Yeah.

Taking five points of psychics. It's just a shibboleth for, yeah, for us. Oh yeah, dude, totally. So we can recognize each other. That's a crazy shibboleth situation for sure. Hey, speaking of movies, Alexa, you have a one-man show coming up that I believe is all about movies and cinema.

Of course. It's my comedy festival show, VHS. I'm currently touring it. I'm actually lying down in Melbourne as we record this. I'm currently lying on a mattress in Melbourne recording this with you guys for the Melbourne Comedy Festival. It's my show VHS. If you know me, you know that I'm obsessed with movies. It's the only thing that I know about, the only thing I'm interested in.

And this shows an exploration of my life, I would say, as a film obsessive. True stories from my life, but each story is told in a different style of genre of cinema. So there's a horror story. There's a gangster story. There's a romance story. There's an adventure story. Yeah, I was going to tell me there's an erotic story. Oh, yeah, I go full album purple out there.

I'm whipping it out. I saw Refuse Classification, the show that you did last year was Zach Rowan. That was fucking amazing. I've got my tickets for VHS. I'm very, very excited. Oh, awesome. You've still got a bunch of dates in Melbourne up until the 19th. You're in Brisbane from April 23rd to 26th.

You've sold out your shows in Sydney, but you've added a new one on the 17th of May. Just added a brand new one. Yeah, yeah, big one. Even for the sad, pathetic people of Western Australia, there was a show on May 14th at a Perth Comedy Festival. And I bet you can find those tickets by Googling the city name Alexei Toliopolis and VHS. They'll probably come up. I reckon, you could even type in one of the best websites, Comedy.com.com. www.A.U.

forward slash Alexi Toliophilus you'll find it all. Comedy.com. I got the dates for your shows from that. I was like, that's incredible.

Alexi must have bought the domain name comedy.com. I don't think that's the case. I don't think that's yours personally. Can you imagine that? I'm trying to. I'm trying to.

I reckon within a year I can get it. Hostile. I'll take over of afty.com. com.com. com.com. Right now. Incredible.

It looks wonderful. If you don't live near any of those cities where those shows are happening, you might have to travel to one of them by plane. We talk about planes in plainly speaking, which I didn't put on the fucking soundboard. You had one job besides this and the other jobs. Several other jobs making, putting all the show together. Editing it afterwards.

What are you going to do? Publishing it. Kind of being the kind of soul of the podcast. I think of you is the soul of the podcast. That's crazy, dude. He's the souls of the feet. Am I right? Yeah.

Hey. Oh, boy. This comes to us from the NL Times. Probe launched after woman and child allowed in cockpit on overbooked Transavia flight. He's coming here and sit on my knee for the duration. It's more or less exactly what happened. We used to do this shit. We used to do this.

We used to be normal. It used to be a free country where they'd let you come in and jiggle the stick a bit, you know? You know like when they... You want to come in the cockpit, drink from our hose. When they did do that, like when they'd be like, oh, there's a special little boy on this plane who'd love to come up and see the cockpit. The captain said, well, of course, it's a commercial flight. All boys are allowed in the cockpit.

Was it because it was like way more rare for a child to be on an airplane that it was like a big deal? Because now there's probably kids on like every flight. And you're never seeing kids. being ushered into the cockpit to have a look around and meet the pilot. No. And my assumption here, this is backed by no evidence whatsoever, right? But if you told me now that they were ferrying a special little boy up the front to show him the cockpit, I would assume he was dying.

I would assume he had a terminal or whatever. And he's going to take us all with him. He's going to take those controls. Just make a wish kid. Just have one wish. Philhalla! No, Mickey. No!

No! This make a wish kid wants to do 9-11-2 But, but In the rules, make a wish, you can't tell him no Can't say no But I feel like In the 80s or 90s when they were taking a special little boy out there I think it was just like a kid

I think it was or maybe a kid who's flying by himself I don't think you had to be dying in the late 80s to be taken up to look at the cockpit I think that was like this boy seems interested This boy wants to see all the little gadgets and gadgets, you know, we want to show him what it's like behind the cockpit to inspire him to one day become a pilot as well. I think I did it once. Like I think I was one of those special little boys. Oh shit. And I just remember going like, yeah, cool. Like I didn't give a shit.

I don't like they do. I think they just wanted to take me up and see it. I don't know if my parents wanted me to do it. I think it was like this airplane stuff going come have a look, come have a look. And I was like, uh, this, who cares? Like I don't really. I'm not fascinated by this. I'm not fascinated by this. You guys are playing Mr. Bean on the big TV back there. Can't I just go back and watch Mr. Bean? It'd be like if you were at a theme park going on roller coasters and they pulled you out of the line and took you in and said, this is the button we pressed to start the roller coaster.

I mean, I would think that's not as good as going on the roller coaster. I would have been like, holy fuck. I want to be back on the roller coaster. Yeah. I'd be like, hey, can you show me how the brakes work? Are these the pneumatic lines? Fantastic. Oh, back to the control panel.

Okay. So I just have to cut here. Can I tell you guys, I just, I went on a, for first time in ages, I went on a ghost train. Oh, awesome. A ghost train. I hadn't been on a ghost train as a young boy, but I was at Adelaide Fringe. A lot of interesting things going on in there. Because I was at Adelaide Fringe.

They had these like kind of virtual reality experiences that you could go in and get scared or whatever. And I was there with Zach Rueyne. Oh, I'm in Adelaide. Yeah. That's the all around augmented reality experiences experiencing until you go in there. Airport closed. But he was like, oh, we'll go on one of these virtual reality things called Seance and you'll get scared. I go, I'm not going to get scared.

It's just like you put headphones on and it's like that. And I was like, the only way that I'll be scared is if I go in that room and there's a man in there. Like there's just a man in that room. I go, that would scare me. And then we went to go do it and it was closed. And so then we walked around and there was a ghost And he goes, let's go on a ghost trying to go There's definitely going to be a man in there

There's going to be like a man in there And then we went up to the counter to buy a ticket And I asked a woman at the counter I was like, can you tell me Is there going to be men? Is there going to be men? And she said, oh, there might be Oh, that's as good as a yes

Yeah, they're definitely, yes. Oh, God. God. There's a man in there. Without a shadow of a doubt, there's a man in there. We went on the train, and as soon as the doors open, the man jumped in front of us, he goes, boo!

I think it's the same as the lady. I think it might be the same lady that served us. And then we're just like, oh my God. And then someone jumped behind us and was like, I'm behind you. And I was like, oh my God. And the reason that really, I didn't want. it to happen was like, oh, because if we went on

those virtual reality ones or whatever and like maybe there was a man in there, that would be like presumably a trained actor. Like in the room or in the virtual room? In the room. Because I heard that they sometimes have they have like actors that do those things too. Well, that would be like a trained person

who's using their training to scare me. Like the way to their, you know, their artistry, the way they do that. But if you go into like a carnival ghost train, the guy that's scaring is like using the same taxis they probably uses to scare like his little wife and children and stuff.

I don't want to be in there of him. I don't want to be in that room. Yeah, like boo to scare someone. There's some real like day one scaring stuff. You don't actually say boo. We don't do that anymore. We've moved down.

Day one of scaring academy. Yeah. You've got to do some more like hereditary Babadook type stuff. He's using the same with taxes he uses to intimidate people and go, I don't want to be in there with that man. I don't want to be in there.

I really hate I hate interacting with performers of any kind in performance not outside of it I'm enjoying speaking to you Alexi I'm going to close the lid of my laptop no they're being mean to me

they're being mean well like getting singled out at a comedy show or like interactive theatre or like that I cannot it just makes me crumble as a person but specifically when they're trying to frighten you because you're not allowed to punch them

Are you not allowed to say like, hey, fuck off? But they are trying to make me feel feared. It's absolutely asymmetrical. Yeah, you should be able to run it with a fake chainsaw. So, Ben, do you think that you would be more comfortable in this situation if you could say, I'll fucking kill you? I'll punch you with the fucking guts, dude. And I'm allowed to as well. They jump out and say boo and you go, I have a bomb.

Yeah. I have a bomb on my person. I have a fucking bomb, dude. Back up. Back up one foot. I'm strapped. part of me kind of wants to like tell them like hey yeah dude

no no no I understand yeah you're scaring everyone else but like I know you're a performer so that's for them yeah don't worry about scaring me because I'm in on it so like I understand I'm kind of a performer myself actually

I've seen behind the scene I have a bomb and I am afraid to die but not that afraid yeah I'm more afraid of being scared by a first year drama student at fright night at movie world

that I am of dying. So, you know, you tell me. Is my wife there? Is my wife in the haunted house too? Because that's going to make a big difference for how insane I go once I get scared in front of her. You know? Hey, step off, bow!

I'll kill you. I'll kill you, motherfucker. I'll have a bomb. A trans-navia flight from Higada to Amsterdam is under internal investigation after an overbooking incident led to a woman and a young girl being seated in the cockpit

for the duration of the nearly six-hour journey. RTL reports. Where they're going from? It's a longer a conversation to make. Higada? Higada? Higada?

So six hours is not in the Netherlands. That's somewhere else. Yeah, it's a city in Egypt. So from Egypt to the Netherlands. Okay. In the cockpit. Imagine the sites that you would see. The Mediterranean.

It's other stuff that's on the line between Egypt and the Netherlands. Yeah, Croatia, Slovenia. You're looking to Google Maps, you can close Google Maps. A big map of Europe open, yeah. Yeah. Did you think the pilots would feel pressure to kind of keep the conversation up between them and this family?

Because that's a long time. Jesus, you're right. Like the social pressure to be like, well, we invited them to sit up here. Now we have to entertain them. Like, so what's your favorite Pokemon, kiddo? Do you guys, do you know them you two? Have you heard about celebrity yet? I was just looking up what, what's,

The Sphinx translates to in Dutch, if you were headed towards the Sphinx, and it's S-F-I-N-X. Oh, Sphinx. They spell it out loud every time. They don't have a pronunciation. They spell it out loud every time instead. Passenger William said he witnessed the unusual situation on February 21st while waiting at the gate in Hagarda with his family. He described confusion before boarding, saying, before we were about to board, I went. went to the restroom. Then I got a message from my wife

that are looking for two volunteers to sit in the cockpit. Moments later the pilot made a public announcement seeking volunteers. I was really astonished. I had never experienced this before, said Willem. Who noted he has taken, quote, thousands of flights for work. Okay. We can all immediately

identify Willem as super jealous, right? Yeah, he's so fucking jealous. He loves planes. He wanted to be the cockpit boy. The unsaid second half of sentences. I've been on thousands of flights and they've never had me in the cockpit. Yeah. I'm probably the most qualified to be the cabin boy, the cockpit boy. You don't want this little boy in your cockpit? According to William, a woman and a girl,

he estimated to be about 10 years old, stepped forward and boarded early. They remained seated throughout the flight on cockpit jump seats, foldable seats located behind the pilots and typically reserved for crew. Airlines sometimes oversell flights because not all passengers show up, according to the consummate and bond when all passengers do appear some may be denied boarding refunded or rebooked which we don't do that here in this country right

I know America loves to overbook a flight but yet our flights are always fucking packed so are we just showing up is that our problem that we're showing up to that's what Australians do we show up that's right we show up book a flight we pay for a ticket to a flight

and then we attend and we get on the plane we drink way too much while we're waiting for the flight to leave. Yeah, and on the plane. Taken in by AFP. That's good for the airline, though. They like that. The Dutch Aviation Authority inspect the

leave from giving in transport, said it is not currently investigating the incident, but has flagged the practice to transavia as, quote, undesirable. William has filed a complaint with the airline calling the situation a breach of contract. Quote, if I take a flight, I want to be able to assume that it is safe.

This is just some guy? He's just a guy. He was on the same time. He's inserted himself into the story too much. He should be ashamed and embarrassed of himself. This is such like horrible gnarc behavior. He's clearly like, his inner child is experiencing jealousy and rejection. So he is now lashing out by talking to the news about it.

Well, probably this 10-year-old girl probably had like the experience of a lifetime. That is like a story that you would tell everyone. for the rest of your life. I got to be a co-pilot flying from Egypt to the Netherlands for six hours, I was 10 years old. They let me change the flaps.

Oh, God, that'd be awesome. We all dream of pressing the flaps button. Is it a button? Do you toggle the flaps? I think it's a slider. It's a slider, because there's multiple flaps points. This little girl saying,

yeah, it was pretty good, but the first hour, I could just hear someone banging on the cockpit door. We're going to be Willem's turn. It's my turn. I deserve it more. I've been on over a thousand flights,

and I've never been treated like this. That's a pretty crazy number. I'm like George Clooney from up in the air. Let me in. What would your lifestyle have to be like to do thousands of flights? Like hundreds, sure. That's a lot. Thousands?

I think. Yeah, probably. He's probably a really cool guy, which is why he's got time to talk to the newspaper about how a child had a magical experience that he didn't get. Can I give you guys a real quick, dump it just real quick

Yeah go on Why not? When the story ain't funny enough Don't it When there ain't enough funny stuff Junk it If you walk the show to be good Then gone and dumped

All that stuff So I don't want to get too far into this Because it's probably complicated And has nuance or whatever But you guys know how like I don't know There's been some sort of government funding freeze or whatever for ages,

for something about maybe for funding for DHS, I don't know, in America. And as a result, TSA staff aren't getting paid. So there's a bunch of nasty stuff happening where they're rolling in like ICE agents to do TSA agent jobs. But meanwhile,

a bunch of people in the TSA are just like not getting paid and they're still showing up to work and doing all this stuff. I saw a story today from somewhere where a guy that owned a pizza chain Oh, no, this is not the one I saw. This is not the one I saw. This is relatively low stakes, this one. A guy who owned a pizza chain in whatever city this was brought in a bunch of $100

pizza vouchers for his chain to give them to TSA workers to, like, support them so they could get some food because they're not getting paid. And like, I've seen lots of little stories like this where they're doing like food drives for the people at the TSA. They're doing like charity stuff. But like, I think. think the thing that I'm kind of thinking about when I'm reading this is everyone fucking hates the TSA, right? Like, I hate the TSA. Like, you know, I'm sure that a lot of people take those jobs because they're like the

only jobs they can get. I don't know, it's always a bit weird whenever you go through the TSA and you're like watching America's crack, like, racial profiling squad is an incredibly racially diverse group of people. It's very strange. but I just can't imagine being in a community and being like, guys, we've got to get together and help out the people that yell at you for doing the thing they said the first time

instead of the directly opposite thing they said the second time. This happens like any time that like the worst agency in America goes through funding pause or whatever. Like all these people coming out of the woodworks to like give them like, like these are the people that you would hiss at in a, in a better society, right? You'd be like throwing bundles of trash at them.

Yeah. Yeah. It's fucked up. Yeah. It's just really weird. Like, is anyone out there, like, does anyone actually believe that, like, the TSA is keeping them safe as well?

That, like, if it weren't for the TSA, planes would be falling out of the sky all the time. Are there people walking around? Time to get political and controversial. Who's got the time to bomb a commercial flight anymore? Yeah. Yeah. What with everything that's going on? Also, they release the stats on like how many, like, guns they catch every year,

which I think we've talked about a couple of times. And you just know that they're catching, like, one in ten. Like, every plane is just probably full of guns and bombs. Loaded. They literally just have, like, people whose job is to make you feel uncomfortable and stressed at the airport. Yeah. The story that I saw today about this was that, um, famous, film makeup, Tyler Perry gave $250,000 worth of gift cards to TSA workers without pay.

Oh my God. So $1,000 gift card each to these people that are working without pay in the TSA in the Atlanta airport. I was like, that's a lot of money, but I'm like, what's gift cards? Like to what? Yeah, give cards for what? David Busters? To go and see the latest Medea movie, yeah.

I think that's all it's good for. See it 20 times, 100 times. Can you imagine, like, if someone said, oh, by the way, for the next, like, six weeks, we're not actually going to pay you. Like, first of all, I'm just like, okay, I'm not going. So, good luck, because that's sort of like, this is what the deal is. Yeah, I need to pay the rent stuff. It's a bit of a big pro quo situation that we have.

It's kind of transactional. I know it sounds cynical, but I do actually need to be compensated for my time or I can't live. But, like, I'd do that for any job. If the job was being a TSA agent, I'm fucking out of there. Like, there's just no way. It's fucked up. If you say to me, you're not getting paid for six weeks, I'm hearing we have fired you. You're fired.

Yeah. You're out. Yeah. I'm going to tell you what. I'm going to circle back. I'm going to touch base in 5.9 weeks, I reckon, just to see what the deal is, right? The night before I meant to start paying you again. Am I got to get paid?

If you say, no, I'm going to touch base with you again in another six weeks. I'll be playing Slay the Spire 2. Well, I can't afford that. I'm not getting paid. I'm going to be playing Slay the Spire 1. So there are certain jobs, right, which are quote-unquote essential, right? Where, you know, if you stop showing up, people die. Like, being a doctor or a nurse or whatever, right?

But you could just stop the flights. People could just stop, like, that's their choice not to pay. you, don't go and show up and just be like, well, we've got to keep the flights going or else. Got to yell at people about their shoes. Yeah. Don't take your shoes off. We've been yelling at you to take your shoes off for 20 years. But if you take your shoes off now, I'm angry at you.

Put your shoes back on. Hey, maybe I misremembered. And people really like the TSA. We talk about things that have been remembered differently in Mandala Effect Watch. I don't remember us calling at that. This is from R slash Mandela Effect. That's interesting. I've always remembered it being Mandela.

We don't have time for this, Ben. Yeah, right. It is titled, Why I Don't Trust CERN? Now that is, of course, CERN. Yeah, yeah, those guys. The boffins. They sort of gone unquestioned up until this point, but I'm willing to hear out to Chris.

Surely the secrets of our alternate realities are hidden within the large Hadron Collideron. lighter. I mean, it's pretty, like, if you were going to have something, a like massive sprawling underground tunnel complex, pretty good. If you're going to like go crazy about something. And also, a big high energy circle, right? Like, geometrically, that's a very powerful concept. It's like a rude residual. If you're going to have any demonic focal points, it's probably going to be in the, in the center of an enormous high energy circle. My problem, my problem, I think, is that I've seen the Stuart Gordon film from beyond too

many times. And I know what can happen if you start like resonating the wrong frequencies of the universe. Yes, you'll call upon Cthulhu. Cthirle will enter our realm. I don't need my pineal gland growing and popping out of the front of my skull. I don't need any sort of floating fish taking big chunks out of me.

I don't need that in my life. I'm busy. Yeah. We've got enough going on right now. What with the price of petrol? Donald Trump. Yeah. The reason why I believe Sert is responsible for the Mandela effect and why I don't trust the scientists is this. Let's recapitulate. I haven't even capitulated once.

I don't think that's what that... Wait a second, no, I've always known capitulation to mean that. Fuck. All right. Don't tell me otherwise. What do you mean? The world was in a panic in 2012 because of December 21st, 2012. And what happens when the day arrives?

Nothing. Yeah. However, 2013 arrives and people begin to report remembering that Nelson Mandela has died in prison in the 90s or 80s. And more strange things happen. Memories that don't match reality and are long, et cetera. You guys remember the big long et cetera of 2013? I'll never forget it. So and so.

I don't remember it being that whole of that. Oh, fuck. There's so much meat on that bone. That could be the whole rest of it. the episode. Now then in 2014, CERN releases the following video titled We Are Happy at CERN.

In it, everything was normal until a part where John Ellis from CERN is seen holding some signs and one of them says Mandela. Now, I don't know if you guys have seen this, but there was a point where the science

at CERN started to get a little silly with it because they were the center of a bunch of conspiracy theories. Oh, they're sort of in on the joke. They made some joke videos and stuff, yeah. Okay. Hey, we're just having fun with it. Yeah.

Science doesn't have to be. be serious. You can even see that Nelson Mandela's cell number is also there. The video is uploaded on November 3rd, 2014. Not satisfied with that. In 2016, some certain employees or scientists

filmed a supposed fake sacrifice. The video shows a naked woman being sacrificed at the statue of Shiver. Oh, now, I don't know if you guys saw that one, but it is exactly as described. Which, if I was a conspiracy theorist, probably wouldn't help my beliefs about CERD and what they're up to, I think.

It's a double-edged sword, isn't it? Because, like, obviously, they're putting this out to fuck with you. But at the same time, it's really fucking with you. They're fucking with you. Yeah. If anything, the one edge of the sword is doing both of those things. True, yeah. It's a one edge.

It's a single-edge sword. I'm having a hard enough time with the first edge, honestly. I've been struck with a sword, and my mind isn't even on the other edge right now. Yeah. I have a lot to deal with. The thing that I've never understood about, the titular Mandela effect is they go, wait, they go, wait, Nelson Mandela, do you mean the guy that died in prison in the 1980s? It's like, how would you know who he is?

How can that be your false memory? He became president in the 90s. Like, you wouldn't know. I don't understand. Like, why would you even know him then? Yeah. It's so amazing. The famous freedom fighter?

No. But, like, people are so willing to just not think about the fact that they maybe learned a little bit about something in school, but not a lot. Like, they're just like, oh, I guess I had an incomplete memory of this. Wow. Turns out a bunch of like Swiss people are bending reality to try and find something. Who do you think Nelson Mandela is in your head if he died in prison in the 80s? He was famous in the 90s of being the president.

I'm like, what do you think? What do you mean? However, it doesn't end here in the same year. 2016 a strange storm appears as if it were a portal you guys all remember that the portal oh the portal yeah of course the portal kind of rendered the sky yeah that video was on YouTube

but unfortunately I only found an image but the point is that after that a weasel destroys Cern's electrical system and paralyzes it you guys remember the weasel that destroyed CERN briefly I don't remember the portal I do remember the weasel and this was somewhat strange because there was no way for it to get in or out since Cern works in

underground zone, which is very strange. How do the people get in there? Yeah. And weasel's like, for a weasel to be underground? Not at all surprising to be. They love to borrow those creatures. A tunnel to a weasel is like a smorgasbord. It'd be weirder if he was in my house.

Which is never a popular style of food. Me as soon as soon. Nothing was left of the poor animal. It was carbonized and died. But what I've always always wanted. wondered is, why did it bite the cable? Perhaps it was trying to stop something. I don't know.

He thinks the weasel is like a time traveling. Yeah. When I was a kid, across the road from us, a possum climbed up the power pole a bit into like the mains transformer. What did it know? Exploded in like purple fire. Yeah. Wow.

The power lines were literally on fire. And what was it trying to stop? Was it trying to stop me from playing commanding? and conquer? Probably. It was trying to save you. You could tell that one day this boy would grow up

to become a great military leader. Destroyed. Leave nations in waste and had to like do it nipper in the butt as fast as it could. Got to bend the arc of history. This kid's playing the nod campaign too much. I really like the idea that like

there is some force out there, some sort of time guardian situation. where they're sending things back, but they're not sending like a highly specialised time assassin, it's a weasel. Like, hey, you're literally the only guy for the job. It could be a highly specialized time assassin's mind.

In the body of a weasel. Wow. True. They might be technical limitations that mean you could only send something that's like mammalian, small and long and narrow. There's a lot of the mind and the guile of a human. I like this. bit of a wind and a wheeler situation where you go, wow, this is, we've got to send our best

weasel back in time. I like this. We try sending all the other animals. They're all just getting turned inside out. Weasels, though. So the best we can do at this point is a stout. Yeah. Simple.

I'm not going to do the job. But stotes have a bad attitude, so we're sticking with the weasels. Yeah. And send a ferret as back up. It's a weasel and a ferret and they do not get along. At the start of the movie. But by the end of it... Very different personalities.

Yeah, best friends. Well, you know what weasels like. Yeah, at the end of it, one of them gets carbonized. You don't send the weasel to do a mongoose's job. Yes. Yes. But returning to the topic, we also have the fact that before 2012, a strange person we don't know how he got in was supposedly standing inside the collider,

allegedly warning the scientist telling them not to turn it on, that the thing would destroy the world and other strange things. Oh, there's a strange person obsessed with Sir? You're telling you this now? He's going to leave his house. Where would they find someone? In the end, the guy disappeared without a trace. At least, that's what they say.

Who knows if it was real? So the bit that you're wondering whether might not be real is whether or not he disappeared, not that he appeared in the first place. Hang on a second. I didn't hear anything about this guy's life after he left this building 25 years ago.

What happened to him? I think he died. I think he died at certain. That's what I remember. All of this was a summary. Now comes my opinion. Very good way to... Thanks, awesome.

Awesome. Okay. I was glad it seemed very fact-based up until this point. Yeah. But where do we get into the realm of subjectivity? please.

I really feel that the CERN scientists are hiding something. In my humble opinion, they were the ones who caused the Mandela effect for various reasons. And furthermore, their words don't give me much confidence with all due respect. I would say two things. There's nothing humble about this opinion. And I don't think there's much respect due or otherwise going on. No, I think if you truly believe that they are like rending the fabric of the universe in Twain, and destroying reality.

You don't have to pretend to be nice to them at this point. That's kind of off the table. Also, you can't be like, I think maybe your facility is going to undo the fabric of the universe and kill us all, but like I got a lot of respect for all that school you did. You guys seem like pretty smart dudes. I'll give you that.

I think you guys are the people that I'm reading about when I play Doom and I'm like reading the environmental notes about the experiments you were doing and the things that started to happen. I think you guys are effectively that. I mean, they shouldn't have done that. They shouldn't have. Shouldn't have.

Well, that's what I'm saying is, are you walking around in that game and reading all those notes and going full respect to the scientist, though? Yeah, got to add to it. I'm not. A bunch of Tony Stark's up here. Real smart, real cool guys.

I get it. I love it, actually. But, uh, should I have to put all the hell. Starks is if there's more than one. The question I ask myself are the following. Why does a scientific institution funded with public money use a cult symbology and make jokes about the Mandela effect? Yes, they shouldn't be making jokes with public money.

If their work is purely scientific, why feed conspiracy theories with esoteric behavior? Sincerely, I don't know, but here ends my opinion. Okay, we draw that line in the sand again. Yeah. I'm going to be mad if they haven't signed this like concert. citizen, you know, those letters capitalized.

That's what they should have been doing here. If that's not already someone's Reddit account, it should be. Yeah. Hey, we've spoken about the Mandela Effect before. Sometimes we talk about stuff that we've talked about before

in, oh shit, it's an update to an old news story. Now, this is an update to something that Theo and I spoke about exclusively back in the bonus episode, the Theo Files 12, derigible feeders. slash cryonic youth.

That was back in December of 2022. Now, something I said in that episode was that I was going to check on the status of the cryogenic freezing facility that was being built in beautiful Holbrook, New South Wales. And you're just getting around to a bit. This is on behalf of this one guy that's like, yeah, I can freeze guys. I can freeze people. I can freeze. How are going to be. I'll freeze you.

Oh, I'd love to freeze you. So I just got around to checking now. and it's operational. It's up and running. They've got the submarine and they have a cryogenic freezing facility. Holbrook is on the up and up. I think just to sum this up for anybody

who hasn't heard that episode, there's a guy and he's like, hey, I can do cryogenics. And then he did. Yeah, well, sort of. And the scale is getting larger and larger, I guess. Yeah. So there's a bunch of these facilities

around the world now, but I think this is the first Australian one. This is from an ABC article from July last year. Melbourne woman's body the second to be cryogenically frozen by Southern cryonics. Oh. Yeah. So they got two. They might even have more now.

Who knows? Woman killed in Holbrook. Yeah. They're freezing people down in Holbrook? That's kind of my understanding of what's happening when you're freezing someone, right? Well, they do do it after their death. But they do it within... Pop them on head first.

They have a specific window. where they believe that they can get to them and then swap their blood out for whatever and then freeze them. Whatever clear goo they need to freeze them up with. That's right. Healthy marathon runner poop. I don't really understand how this works.

Is there like when you die, pardon me if this sounds kooky or whatever. But when you die and then they go, we're going to freeze them and then figure it out later. Is it like a time period where they believe like the soul is still in this body if we freeze it now

then it will be okay one day when we like find the cure for death death I know it's a humble people I think these are humble people and they're not they're going look can't answer the question of the soul but we definitely

will find a cure for you okay sometime in the future we're just answering the questions of the body here it would be fucked up going to sort of just freeze you yes and then and then And then you got to keep paying us though because we've got to keep these things on.

It'd be like awesome to be like the subjective experience of being one of the crazy people that did this and being correct would be like you remember dying of old age and then no time passes and you wake up and you're in like a gleaming silver futuristic hovering city over a restored. That'd be so beautiful earth. To wake up in the gleaming utopia. Yeah. that's definitely coming would be so awesome. Put me in now. Your dick is way bigger. That's the first thing.

Awesome. We throw that in as a freebie. We fixed a bunch of stuff. Oh, you made that. Yeah, in your cryogenic chamber, you are, you know, you're hooked up to a few tubes, including a penis pump, and one of them that we have running for 60 years, so it becomes permanent. Really stretching that thing out.

A little something just for the fellas. Yeah, we put a weight on it, and we, you know, we lie you on your belly, and then we have a weight suspended from your penis for 60 years. You're like a demolition man when they lift him up to the ceiling and there's just a weight dangling from the bottom of the ice cube. That's the future we're all kind of picturing, right?

You could live long enough to see your foreskin three feet long. Well, great news. And if you don't like that, we can freeze you again until we saw it that part out. The technology to fix it should come in the next thousand years or so. Yeah, we're thinking we're probably just going to lie you on your back

and just put like a big weight on top of your penis that way so it starts going back in. That one only takes about 30 years, so it's a bit less. Sometimes it's the old ways, you know? You're in 2019. In a nondescript facility near Holbrook in New South Wales, a woman's body has been cryogenically frozen in the hope that science will one day revive her.

Her body is one of two that now lie inside the southern cryonics facility suspended in liquid nitrogen at around negative 200 degrees Celsius. That's a sad number of cryogenic bodies. I think it's a beautiful number. One man, one woman. This is a beautiful love story

about to unfold in a cryogenic space. Oh shit. And then they make their new life in the submarine because it's the only part of Holbrook that survived other than the cryonics facility. And the guys got a huge penis at the end of it all.

This is exciting. It has the exact same ending as booking. nights. I'm the same ending as Jason X. Three foot long penis. There's ice just flinging off it.

I'm a star. It's like making kind of crunchy noises. I'm a star. On July 4th, the Melbourne woman died in hospital for chronic illness. Within minutes, southern chronic staff waiting in Melbourne initiated the, quote, cooling process,

packing her body in ice water for transport to a funeral home. They're equipped with 250 kilograms of specialist tools, chemicals, and cooling agents, a doctor and two clinical perfusionists from a company called Australian blood management. Oh, yeah, that is.

That's the, like, the evil corporation of vampires from daybreakers. Team of doctors looking or ever. I can't find a penis. What do I hook this on to? The woman's body was then encased in its final resting place, a cryogenic chamber filled with liquid nitrogen at Holbrook.

Two years ago, 35 founding members invested between $50,000 and $70,000 each to establish the facility. Today, Southern Cryonix has 32 active subscribers who pay an annual fee of $350 and have signed up for the suspension procedure costing about $170,000. Members sign an agreement that details the terms and conditions of their chronic suspension. Well, it's a subscription with a flat fee for the process. What was the subscription amount again? 350 bucks. So that's for them to be on call to freeze you at the moment of your death.

That's the same as like Spotify. It's not that bad of a deal. That's pretty good. I think they do sting you a little bit with 170 large. That one kind of hits the long. You're dead by that point. It doesn't matter that. It doesn't matter so much.

Yeah, that's your children's inheritance. Yeah. Well, I'm going to need it later. I'm going to need it later. no more reason to like yeah you just keep it in your will still mine still mine in 2016 you know

they are also encouraged to sign a religious objection to autopsy form which request that an autopsy is not carried out to avoid destructive procedures and consequent delays in the suspension process so if you were looking to murder someone and get away with it yep try and find one of these

cryogenic freezing subscribers because they will not look too closely at the body I love when it asks me to sign something that says no one will do an autopsy on me afterwards. Don't look too close. Have you seen a photo of the of the facility?

No, no, I have not. Does it look awesome? Something like that. Oh, man. That's a shed. That's just a shed. Wow, okay, let me find this. Let me check that in there. That is like where you're, Oh my God, it's a shed.

If you have like an RFS brigade near you, you got the rural fire service and they have one truck and a Ute, they keep it in that building exactly, probably like a five-minute drive outside of town. There's just a little bit of a snow town kind of vibe to it, right? Man, this is going to go bad. Yeah, you just go in there and it's like, yeah, here are our bodies. Here's the way to keep everyone just two barrels in the middle of the room.

We believe the technology We'll be able to figure it out It can sort the molecules or whatever Southern Cryotics is equipped to hold up to 40 bodies Quote We have members ranging from 15 years old Up to about 95 And we range

I don't like that at all You'd be surprised how many nans we can get into one barrel Peeling off the lid of pushing down for a bit They shrink as they get older So it can fit about three or four in one barrel The chambers Each hold a two month supply of liquid nitrogen And a maintenance person checks the levels

A few times a week That's not very long That's very like Oh you know He doesn't go out every day Like he goes out like Monday, Wednesday Friday takes the weekend off Like that's so lax

Oh man Is that a lot or a little Like, do we expect the liquid nitrogen levels to be all of a sudden? I mean, if the consequences are between like eternal life or permanent death. I'd have a guy who's... I'd have a guy that lives there. But like, he's, you know, he gets room and bored and free food and stuff. But he also has like, there are sirens everywhere that go off if something goes wrong.

I'd kind of want it to be under like 24-7. And he kind of podcasts as well. Like, you know, he's like. to have a second income and they don't pay for it as well but they're getting free podcasts. A day in the life as a guy that looks after frozen bodies. The suspension agreement which clients must sign specifies an event such as a deregistration, insolvency or cryonic suspension or revival becoming illegal Southern cryonics may cease the suspension and quote dispose of the patient's body

by burial, cremation or transfer of the body to a responsible person. right that's awesome we're going to do our best but if it goes wrong you know we're kind of we'll just be like hey uh

hey everybody's perfect hey can you take this to just the first guy you see hey I think this was technically an episode of the podcast Punta Vista Alexi

thank you so much for joining us oh thank you so much for having me I cannot wait to see VHS and I can't wait to see you as well when you come up here it'll be a two pronged approach you'll see my show

you'll see me during the show, hopefully afterwards too. Hey, figures Christ, I will be trying my luck. Where can people find more information about you and your life? You can find probably the most information about me and my life where I'm extremely confessional on my podcast, The Last Video Store,

where I took to cool, funny, exciting people about their favorite movies and then give them a big recommendation. Recently, I've had Jay McCarroll and Maddie Johnson from Nirvana the Bandah Show the movie on. Amazing. I'm sure the listeners of this podcast would love Nirvana the band to show the movie.

So check out that episode and then check out the movie. The show is called The Last Video Store and my live show is called VHS coming to comedy festivals near you. Wonderful. We will talk to you, Alexi, soon in person, presumably. We will talk to you, the listener again on this podcast. Maybe in a week's time, maybe less if you subscribe. Never in person.

ever, ever, ever in person. Unless if you're in Chicago and you see Lucy, you're allowed to say hi to her. Apparently the rules don't apply when she's international. That's what she said. So, all right. Show her a good hot dog spot or fucking whatever. We'll talk to you real soon.

Bye. Bye-may. Bye. Bye.