Boonta Vista - EPISODE 441: The Sucksoffonist

Episode Date: April 19, 2026

Lucy, Theo, Andrew, and Ben bring you: A-list celebs in Brisbane, a busy prodigy prequel, a sword embarrassment, the legacy of Pavarotti, and a Donnie Darko-ing averted by wanking. *** Outro: Rain - PVA *** Support our show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista *** Email the show at [e-mail]! Call in and leave us a question or a message on 1800-317-515 to be answered on the show! *** Website: boontavista.com Twitch: twitch.tv/boontavista

Hello, welcome to Bunda Vista, episode 441. I'm Theo, and I'm in Bunnings or whatever. And I'm wandering around, searching for somebody who can help me. Help me make the things I need. I'm doing some DIY. Let's do it yourself at home. Oh, here we go. Here's...

Oh, excuse me, Ben, is that your... Sorry, are you busy at the moment? You're just like on top of a scissor lift or something like that. Yeah, no. Also, you're not allowed to come up to the sizzle list. I don't know if you notice there's a little bit of like crime scene tape that's on either side of where the sizzle of it is. I'll just climb it.

I'll come up to you. All right. Pinch points. Everywhere you put your feet and hands on your way out there was a pinch point. It's pinch points all the way down. A bit of DIY I'm doing at home. I kind of want to pull this off, but I'm worried about, I'm thinking six mill masonry bits, which I'm okay on.

I can get those, but I do need a hammer drill for this. I'm worried about Riyobi that's going to just, you know, crap out at me halfway through. And that's not going to be here. I'll show you what I'm doing. And then you can kind of get a feel for it. And I'm just like on my phone. I'm showing you the ending from Pye where the man is drilling through his head with a drill. Do you think I should go up to like Makita for this?

I mean, are you planning on doing this more than once? I think I'm probably going to be able to do it once. I think I've got to be able to do this once. I'm going to tell you. Honestly, I think it'll be fine. Yeah, the Uzino will probably do the job for you. Hell that, like, what's the really cheap brand? The Izido, yeah.

It's like X1 or something. No, no, the one beneath Ozito. There's one beneath Osito? Yeah, it's not good. There's something that's sub-Ozito? I just don't want it to run out of torque halfway through. Yeah, I don't want it. Half a hole in your head.

Yeah. How big is half a hole? Half a hole, yeah. Head like half a hole. Black is half of your soul. Yeah. I'd rather half die. I'm perfectly ambivalent about dying.

Relaxed Trent Resnor. Excuse me, ma'am. I'm like a 40-year-old. I've got questions, but I think it's, I think it might be two different areas of expertise. I'm looking to get this done to me, and I'm just showing you the part of misery where Kathy Bates The hobbling? It's James Woods. James Kahn.

James Kahn. James Kahn. James Kahn. James Kahn, thank you. Snaps James Kahn's foot and ankle with a sledgehammer while his ankles are held apart with a bit of two by four. All right. So you're going to want a piece of two by four.

That's down in Tiber. Can I get off cuts? Because I don't need like, I don't want to go down to tools. Yeah. Head for a sledgehammer? Sledgehammer. It's in 15. Yeah.

Yeah, I think that's it. I think we've covered it. Is there like an in-between size? You know, you've got the big sledge hammer. You want something a little smaller, like something a little more tactile maybe? I'm thinking, but I'm not thinking those little hammers. Like, I'm not thinking a steel mallet. Is there something in between?

You're kind of like a mini sledge hammer. Mini sledge. You don't want to be like completely obliterated. Yeah, that's right. You just want a scary woman to smash your shins in with a medium. Sledge hammer. So I can't go anywhere and she's got complete control over me. Jesus Christ.

And you can finish the book. Yeah. And then down to where do I get the off cut, the two by four? It's down in two by four. Lucy's a bunnings post quote all the time. Huge Bunnings head. I've always at Bunnings. I love DIY.

I'd love doing it myself. Well, you kind of have to give it your lifestyle. They've got all kinds of doodads down there. I've got to tell you. They do they're crazy stuff in Bunnings. cheaper than a fidget toy. And finally, oh, excuse me, yes. Up, up, up.

I can see, Andrea, that you're talking to six other people. Won't be a moment. So I've been looking all over. I've got the chains there, but I might have some questions about tungsten versus, I'm not doing it, tungsten chain, zinc-coded. It's indoors. It's indoors.

I don't need it to be, the thing where they powder coated with zapping or whatever. We'll get there. That's not the part I'm worried about, but as far as I do need fasteners and hooks, and so far all I can find is the carabinas. And I don't think that they're going to, oh, hang on, let me just show you.

I want this, the part in Hellraiser 1, where the guy gets all of his skin torn off with hooks and chains. You're looking to get real ripped apart? you're going to get properly, remember afterwards in that movie when there's just like one of his eyes sitting there in like a little chunk of skull and everything, so we're going for?

I want exactly this. We kind of, my wife and I talked about this and we kind of gone, what do you see in the bathroom? Is it going to be like kind of this or that? And then we saw this and we just knew, we just knew it was going to be, we'd seen what we want. We didn't have to look any further.

Look, sir, I'm going to tell you exactly what a bunning staff member said to me, Andrew. When you ask this question. In the last week, which was, I have no idea what you're talking about. Really? He said to my face. I was in the aisle where they have the cargo nets that go over your trailer. But there were none in that spot.

Never seen that aisle, never been in that aisle. I would have hazarded a guess that maybe they were out of stock, maybe they're kind of running out of something. And so the dude walks past and he's got his thing with a little catalogue on it. It's in his hand in front of his face. And I go, hey, can you help me out with finding like the cargo nets to go over your trailer? And he said, I got no idea what you mean. Cool. That's awesome, dude.

He's probably really busy thinking about the guy that keeps coming in saying, I'm looking to get wicker manned this weekend. Yeah. It becomes a supply issue. Where are you going to get that much wicker? We don't have that much wicker, sir. I think it's fucked that they try and sort of promote this idea that the people that work there can help you with your craft projects or your whatever. It feels like they have something else to do at all times.

They do. There's no one just standing around going like clasping their hands together, waiting to be talked to. So for me, interrupting someone when they're doing their job is, terrible. It makes me feel fucked. It feels bad. Like someone's gone like shifting stuff around the shop like on the shelves or whatever. I'm like

hey, I can see you're really busy but I have a stupid question to waste your time with it. I'm stupid and I don't know anything. I'm stupid. I'm stupid. I'm needy. I'm stupid and need to ask a 24 year old who works at a retail job how to paint my house. I'm a 40 year man. I don't know how to use this tool. I don't know. Can you show me how to use this

tool? I think you've identified something here. I'm only asking people who are older than me in Bunnings for... Yeah, where are they? They're around. Is it all children at your Bunnings? Every single Bunnings has like one guy that looks exactly like Father Christmas walking around. There's a legal minimum one of those guys.

The guy's got to look like that for me to say, hey, what do you think I should use for this particular thing I'm trying to do? The guy that looks like Father Christmas, who's at Bunnings. He's sort of something like a celebrity. We talk about celebrities in Celebrity Watch. This is really news. This is just a list of four celebrities that are currently in Brisbane right now. Just more of a kind of a PSA, I guess. A bit of a heads out for everyone one.

More of a PSA per segment. Do I know any celebrities that are here right now? No. You might know. I mean, you'll be familiar with these names, I think. But I don't think you know them personally. That's my... Oh, okay.

That's your bullet. You never know. You never know. I would love to be wrong because I would love an inn with any of these four people. Okay, first up, Shaggy. Shaggy's here?

Shaggy's here. Shaggy's here? Just on tour? Well, no, it's related to the second person list. Sting. Yes. Okay. Shaggy and Sting.

Shaggy slash Sting? Yeah, so Shaggy is joining Sting's musical that he's currently performing at Kupak as a Brisbane. exclusive cast member were the only city in the world to get Shaggy is my understanding There's so much happening in Brisbane

it's crazy what goes on here to process. Yeah Maddie last night was like holy shit, Shaggy's in town and then showed me a post that was like Shaggy has been seen walking around South Bank Shaggy spotted Shaggy at felons, Shaggy at Felons Shaggy at Felons

You ever seen Shaggy and Sting playing together on an NPR tiny desk? I watched it at your house, I'm pretty sure. I'm almost certain that we watched a bunch of tidy desks with you and Eleanor. And then they get to the end of the song and Shaggy goes, hi everybody, how are you? And it feels wrong. It feels wrong. Doing your thick patois for the whole song. And then he stops and goes, hello, my name is Shaggy. Hello. I'm Shaggy. That's how he talks. Oh, I'm Shaggy. Kevin Kossner is here?

Kevin Kossner. A big dog. Holy shit. For the new season of Yellowstone. Yes, they are filming Yellowstone Patriarch. That's the new one. In Brisbane. That's right.

They're using Mount Cuthher Botanic Gardens. To be the untamed west. Kevin Kossner's out of the Taylor Sheridan extended universe, though. He pulled the pin on the Yellowstone stuff because he wanted to go and film his huge Western boondoggle. I thought Yellowstone was his huge Western boondoggle. There's a second boondoggle. Yellowstone is the most watched television show in the world.

It's not a boondole. Yeah. I mean, it's big. That's huge. This is like my most recent touch point with reality is that like people apparently love Yellowstone. Yeah. It's big.

My mom loves Yellowstone. I say that much. Yeah. And lastly, and certainly not leastly, we have Jake Gyllenhaal. Welcome to Brisbane. Jake Gyllenwall is here? Jay G is here. To film Donny Darko 3?

Donnie Darko 2? That's right. No, Donny Darko 2 exists. It does? Yeah, it is no good. I didn't know that. I love, J.D. Oh, I remember.

Yeah, Samantha Darko. I remember it. That was bad. S. Darko. It was no good. S. Darko. S. Darko. Or he might be filming the animus scene.

for the Assassin's Creed movie. Oh, that's true. The animus scenes might take place in Brisbane. In like one of our many futuristic towers. Yes. They already make an Assassin's Creed movie? Did they make that? Yeah, with Michael Fastbender in it.

With Michael Fastbender in it. He's the Assassin Creed. I thought we were done making these kind of... No. There's a one came out this week. It's the biggest movie in the world. What did? What did?

Super Mario Galaxy. Oh, okay. I don't think that counts. That's not the same. How does it not count as a video game out of it? It's one of the most video games of all time. When people say think of a video game, they think of a Mario? I think of the same Mario.

Mario's on the same way like there's many, right? Oh, it's Mario. Like you're talking your hitman adaptation. You're talking. Timothy Oliphon. Prince of Persia. I'm thinking Prince of Persia. I was initially thinking Prince of Persia to bring Jake Gyllenha.

Yeah. And we'll let you know if Lucy ends up Hooking up with Jake Gyllenhaal in an update to an old news story. But for now, it's time for a different update to an old news story. And oh shit, it's an update to an old news story. Oh shit, it's an update.

Now, this was sent into us by listener Steig, who I believe is from somewhere Scandinavian. This is an update to the article articles we spoke about in the last episode about the bus prodigies, the separate but similar bus thefts by a skilled teenager. The Bus Whispers, yep. The Bus Wispers.

This is from Norwegian Public Broadcasting in RK for a little bit more context. This article is from a year ago and it is about the boy that stole the bus last week. So this is, he did it again. He's done it twice. He's done it twice, but we're discovering this in reverse like Memento. Update to an old new story that we didn't cover. It's an old update to a new news story. Yeah.

Memento-Ang story. Yeah. A young boy is said to have stolen a bus in Stavanga and probably driven several miles, including through the Ryefast. Oh, he did a dry run? Dry run through Rifast? I don't know what's dry about that if he's actually doing it. Well, because the only one, yeah, I guess so.

Maybe a short run. It's exactly the same as what he did last time. A short bus run. He's done two wet runs. Two wets. No dry. This boy is soaking. Quote, the matter has been reported to the police

and therefore we have no comments, said Sten-Enerskard, traffic manager at Connect Bus. If no one had reported it to the police, though, we'd be fucking telling you everything. The bus is owned by Connect Bus and runs daily on the Columbus route in Nord-Jerun. Police confirmed to NRK

that a boy under the age of 15 is suspected of theft. Police Station Chief at Saundness Police Station, Magnus Yorten tells NRK that the police did not become aware of it until the boy had returned the bus and started talking about it afterwards. So where's the theft. Yeah.

I'm borrowing. I was borrowing a crime now. You're being charged with malicious borrowing. I can arrest me at the library, you know? Unbelievable. Do you think that he was looking to steal a bus? Do you think he was looking for that sense of connection that he could see like among the drivers in the terminal?

Do you reckon the unique fellowship of the bus drivers was so appealing to him that he attempted Grand Theft Auto to become one of them. Imagine pulling up next to a bus and getting that little nod from the other bus drivers. Bus come in the other direction.

We're both bus drivers. We're both bus drivers. One finger held up from the wheel. Yeah. You know how many fucking bus drivers there are? Plenty. Like in the world. In Brisbane, they also like,

I'm sure it's difficult to learn how to do it, but they are desperate to hire bus drivers at all times. If you wanted to become a bus driver, they want you to become a bus driver really bad. And the fellowship, you get to experience with the 10,000 other Brisbane City Council bus drivers? With 10,000 bus drivers,

that fellowship's got to be thick as hell. Oh my God. Imagine that fellowship. Quote, it is a young boy who has done this and taken this bus. He has neither training to drive a car nor a bus. It is a serious matter that he has such. Such easy access to a bus, Yorton told N.R.K.

We're going to tie things up around here. We've all got easy access to a bus if we stole one. So what do you mean? Well, I think we talked about this last week where it's just like super annoying for the buses to need to have keys or whatever. Oh, yeah. So they're just like leaving them in the ignition or they've got like one key that works for all the buses. Leaving the doors open all the time. Yeah.

I think it's amazing to talk about this guy like he's a powerful weapon. He's like a teenage boy. Like he's fucking Tetsuo. He can't be allowed to do this again. This boy gets behind a bus. Who knows what's going to happen to Mega City 3. According to Horton, the young boy is said to have stolen the bus from a Connect bus depot in Fortis in sadness.

He then allegedly drove the bus for three hours before returning it. The police did not want to comment on where the boy drove the bus. but according to what that Rakeey knows it's driven through sadness Ryefastest to Vanga. Why is it embarrassing? Did he drive it to the toilet? Yeah.

Why can't we know? Why are you refusing to divulge this? Where did he drive the bus? He was driving to all of our wives' houses. I want to know what he had in the tape deck on that three hour. On that three hour trip. Is he just free bird on the loop,

you think, while he's glisten down the highway? Probably just some of the Norwegian pop classic. like the big Norwegian hits of the 80s that you know and love. Yep. You know, from any of the big Norwegian pop stars or pop groups that immediately spring to mind. Is Abba? Abba's Danish?

Swedish. Swedish. Swedish. Yeah, they're definitely not Norway. And it's all kind of the same, right? Yeah. It's all kind of the same thing. They're basically,

if your languages are largely mutually intelligible, you don't have different languages. That's all right. That's my new controversial standpoint. If we can use a stereotype that kind of works for a group of you, that's one language. We will love you all together. I don't know.

I think in my mind Finnish people are rudeer than Norwegians. That tracks with my lived experience. I don't know that many fans. I know we have Finnish listeners. You know what? I want to apologize. And if you want to prove how not rude you are, don't write in an angry. cool about it.

He must be cool about it. Relax. Don't be Finnish about it. Don't be a fucking fit about it, dude. Just don't be a fucking fin about it. This feels like what's the fucking deal. You're going to be low at restaurants. Andrew, what was that tweet you wrote?

Was it about a Swedish man having a sort? Oh no, I have a sort of. A guy named Sven replied, like, not funny. Yeah, a guy was clearly getting in on the joke. I think he was in on the joke. He had a really Scandinavian name. Oh, okay. And everyone got mad at him.

Yeah. And then everyone started bullying this Scandinavian man. It's that dry. Scandinavian humor. It even went over my head. So dry. Wet it up a little. Wet up.

Wet it up. Wet everything up. Just make it broader. Broader and wetter. Please. More farts. Toilet stuff. Toilette stuff.

Cog stuff. Yeah. Calm stuff. Gist stuff. According to NRK's understanding, the person driving the bus filmed parts of the bus trip and posted it on the internet NOK has seen this video

Can I see it? Can I share it with me then? Can you share it with us? Oh, this video was awesome! It was so cool and I've seen it. Too bad. It's just a guy, a 14 year old driving a bus

perfectly. His lines are perfect. It's coming into the corners, just the right amount of momentum and they're like, nobody can ever see this movie. No, it's too dangerous. It's too dangerous.

They work out. Norwegian Weapon X project. Can't just share a video of the bus Lisa and Al-Gaibe getting around. People will freak. Bus drivers all across Brisbane. Freaking out, abandoning their post. Teenagers are actually better at driving the bus.

It's kind of like Ava pilots. We've got to recruit some teams. Jesus Christ. Yes. This is horrible. This is not positive personal growth for you. This is negative personal growth. I didn't even know that was possible.

Yeah, I know, right. You have to drive the bus or else we'll make Klaus do it again. You see a fucking foolbook. Get in the bus. Yolton says they have contacted Connect Bus and asked them to look at their routines for picking up buses. Quote, it's not just about finding a key. How he had enough knowledge to be able to start the bus without damage. You get, I don't know, says Yorten.

The boy was not previously known to police. The criminal case against the boy has now. been dropped due to his young age, but according to Yorton, he will be followed up by the police's preventative department. So you got some like Norwegian cops knocking on your door, being like, hey, is he playing bus simulator in there? Is he playing in a Norwegian what's he playing in a bus? Can I just take issue on a fundamental level with the preventative department showing up to talk to you after you've done something? Yeah. Well, can I take double issue with it? The preventative department showed up after the incident and they didn't prevent the second

incident happening. The second one. Yeah. So that was the first incident and he's done it again. Yeah, take a look at what you're doing over there because it's not working. Need some precogs. Quote, he returned the bus without scratch. He probably understands that this is going further than he should have done.

But it's good that this went well, said Yorton. And that's all he heard. Good that this went well. Yeah, good. He heard good. That's it. It's like when you train the dog. They just hear the keywords.

One word. Oh, you want me to drive the bus again. Again. He knows he can drive the bus. He knows he drove the bus perfectly. Why wouldn't he do it again? And now we've got two incidents of it. It's not just a chance the first time around.

He didn't accidentally perfectly drive the bus for three hours the first time. He is the transit al-Gaib. Yeah, fuck. Somehow, this wasn't a crime. We'd talk about things that were crimes in Crime Watch. This comes from WHCM in Pennsylvania, Lancaster County resident Grab sword to fight off armed invaders

during break-in, police say. Cool. Awesome. Now, it's awesome, right? You've spent all this money on swords. You've been training in the backyard, been preparing for this for years, and you think...

Here a guy break in and you're like, fuck yes, yes. Time to use my sword. I've just been sitting up in my armchair every night waiting for the chance to stand up and shout. Rocking chair, holding a katana. A resident tried defending themselves with a sword.

while their Lancaster County apartment was broken into by multiple people armed with guns last month, police setting court documents. Tried. Tried is an interesting phrase. Yeah, Tried is an interesting phase. But it's also probably the, one word, I guess, ideal kind of scenario. What do you want to say here? The space in which to engage guys with guns.

Inside the house? Inside the house. You didn't bring the knife to a gun. bringing guns to your knife fight. To your sword fight. Oh, you guys brought guns to my sword fight. That's not fair. Felity charges filed

against three people. Harry Reyes 55 of Mountville, Alyssa Stoppy, 20 of Marietta and Camden Ransing, 25 of Mountville, are in connection with the March 15th apartment invasion along North Front Street in Columbia Borough. Reyes was arraigned April 9th

and Ransing was arraigned April 13th, according to online court records. Stoppy has yet to be arraigned. He's still out there? Stoppy is still out there somewhere. Stoppy is yet to be arraigned? And then the next episode is just us looking somber with they got stopping.

They arranged. They arranged. Stoppy. Stoppy has been arraigned. According to charging documents filed by Columbia Borough Police, two people were home upstairs in a bedroom when one of them looked out the front room and saw people coming up the stairs while pointing guns. Yeah.

And he went, B. Sheep that. One of the residents grabbed a katana-style sword from his closet to defend himself

for his place. Although it's probably too long for this engagement. Yeah, you can't be using that in like a hallway. You want a short-sword. I don't think you want a short sword.

I think you want a short sword. I think you need length to sort of get away from them guns. But no, my build. You can't swing. On the battlefield, you want length. All you can do is

in the bedroom. You want a thrust. want girl. And if somebody taps it off line, they kind of got you. They got you there. A little bit of length wouldn't be terrible. However, he was allegedly beaten in the head by two men. One of them

identified as ranting while Reyes was telling them to quote, keep fucking him up. Knock him out, according to police. They came in with guns. He brought out the sword. They didn't even use the guns on him. They just started beating him up. They've gone.

I guess we don't need these guns. Yeah. Oh, come on, don't shoot the loser. Like, it's fine. Just punch him a lot. Just like kick him and punch him and punch him. Drop your guns. Drop your guns at the start of the turn.

And then we're going to go unarmed. The gum reflection, he should have grabbed a Tanto, a dagger. 100%. I mean, Tento, I think, is a ceremonial sword. But sometimes, you know, you got to just throw tradition to the wind. Yeah. And look after yourself. And then get the fuck beaten out of you.

Police said in charging documents that the resident had numerous cuts across his face and he was bleeding. He was taking to Lancaster General Hospital, Penn Medicine for treatment. Put in the report that he was crying. Oh, my God. That's just like, imagine how long you've been waiting. Because this wasn't like a display katana. He didn't have this up on the mantelpiece as like, yeah, my buddy bought me this from Japan.

He says, it's real. This is what he kept in the closet. for this circumstance. It was his personal defense, Katana, and it personally defended him from fucking nothing. Yeah, spends most of his time of an evening kneeling in the middle of the living room floor, Katana out in front of him.

Like Blade when he's meditating, you know? A lot like that. A lot like Blade. He's like Dolph Lundra at the start of the 90s Punisher movie where he's sort of kneeling samurai style in front of a fireplace, I think, and you can just see the outline of his balls. But this guy the whole time he's going on,

fuck, it's so itchy. This is really uncomfortable. How is that noise? My knees hurt. Yeah. Oh, it's a little warm in here. Yeah. What other stuff I've got to do tomorrow?

Has it been getting warmer in April? Do you think over the years? I just like, I don't think. Meditation is really hard, I guess, is what I want to say. Yeah. It would be for you. Yeah. What do you mean for some people?

What? You live mostly in the future? And in, no, I live. Yeah, I don't know. And in the past. If I did leave in the future, then I would be able to, eG, create a grocery list. Yeah, that's true. But you are worrying about the fact that you can't create the grocery list.

Oh, boy, am I. Which is a problem of the future. That's probably an anxiety problem. Yeah. I got a couple of levers to pull vis-a-vis anxiety versus ADHD. And some of the levers make the other levers move when you pull them as well. They're interconnected levers. So you've got to get the order right.

Yeah. It's like the fucking observatory and missed, am I right? It's like the observatory and missed, yeah. Impossible. Literally impossible. All of the puzzles in the video game missed. I don't know if that's something we should chat about, but there is stuff we should chat about

in a segment that we like to call stuff we should chat about. Here comes some stuff we should chat about. Toll there's stuff to chat about. Here comes some more stuff to chat about. We're chatting about snow. Yeah, baby. Okay. Pavarotti.

You guys know Pavarotti? Yep. Big fat guy. I loved a cell phone and a Vespa. Is that true? Yeah, okay. A Pavarotti fact, I mean. Yeah, you've ever seen just a lot of photos of him scooting around on his little scooter?

Mobile phone go. Okay. Okay, all right. All right. I guess I've got some research to do after the show. Wearing a lot of beautiful shirts, you know. In private browsing. Fuck, what an unbelievable image.

The big Aloha shirt, the white and blue mopad. Oh, my goodness. Oh, my Lord. That's drippy as fuck. And the mopad looks like a Toriyama vehicle. Like, that's beautiful. That's a capsule. fucking moped.

Hell yeah, dude. There's so many of these photos. Wow. And he's got different colored Hawaiian shirts of all the exact same make. But on the same Vespa. Interesting.

Now, if these photos could be transmitted by audio. All right, so you know how Pavarotti exists? Yeah. He's dead now. Exist.

Yes. But he was like a household name opera singer. Like everyone. Like I was a kid and I knew who Pavarotti was. Yeah, like if you were talking about opera, you've got Pavarotti, you've got... Andrea Bacheli. Yeah?

No idea. Don't know. Three tenets or four tenets? Three tenets? Okay, wait, don't look them up because that's part of my next question. I thought there was nine, but I'm probably thinking of the ring race. I'm going to ask for the others. Constantly confusing the N-tenors and the ring rates.

No, that's a completely different outfit. Maybe bet that one too. All right, so Poverati was like a household name that, like, to the extent that I as a child knew who Poverati was. What have we got now that is a household name opera singer? Andrea Bichelli. Who's that? Obviously not. Is he?

Wait. Isn't he? No, I was thinking of the violin guy. You were thinking of, what's that fucking guy that I hate his face? Andre Rieu. Andre Rieu, who is probably. the single biggest DVD seller in the history of DVDs.

I think that's true. You can apply this to a lot of things though, Ben. Like, for instance, Michael Flatley was once a household name and now I can't name a single other Riverdance guy. Yeah, that is true. Yeah, Riverdance is sort of in the toilet now. Riverdance is chopped. I think it might come back, though.

I can think we kind of lost something culturally. I can think of one opera singer who is at least a household name in Australia, but it's not going to, I think, I think your rules that you've set up to your game then. This will be a preach to them. You're a sick little game. You're twisted little game. Kate Miller-Hydke. She's an opera singer, but she doesn't sing opera anymore.

I did a panel with her husband once. Really? She's got a husband? Yeah, he's a really chill dude. I was like, we should get a beer sometime. Never got a beer. Kate Miller-Hideke's husband. Oh, Simon, the Wiggle. He sings opera. You're thinking of people that also do opera.

I'm thinking of just, like, you've got to be employed full-time. I mean, I think Simon's thing is mainly that he sings opera. Mainly that he sings opera. He talks about it all the time. He always talks about it. And everyone's like, shut the fuck up, Simon. We know that you did opera. The Wiggles is no one side gig.

You're in the Wiggles for life. They cut your balls off before you join. Yeah. Just to make sure that you don't. They cut your dick off. Whole dick. All of them. Yeah.

Welcome. Welcome, brother. Hush. It's all over now. Once you leave. It's all over now. Yeah, I didn't like that about the wiggles how they would get piss. I watched a lot more of the wiggles where my children were very small.

And now they're always telling me to turn it off. The wiggles they had, because they rotate in, you know, I assume the old ones die and then they get new ones. Yeah, they cut the rest of the body off. I didn't like how they would put people's, like, shitty interests that they couldn't make it as in the wiggles. They'd go, oh, yeah, so I'm. and had a crack at singing opera,

but he's like, he's obviously not professional grey. Yeah. It's like these kids don't know. And he's almost had a PhD in molecular biology, but his thesis was dog shit. So now he's a wiggle. Yep.

Yeah. Anthony was once a, you know, aspirant champion eater. Just because he likes to, he's always eating fruit salad? I don't know anything about the wiggles because I've never had children. It's funny.

You brought them up. You were a child. We were all once children. All right, my follow-up about this. I'm obsessed with the wiggles. Since you've rejected the first question. I've rejected that premise. I didn't.

I feel like it's a hostile appointment to talk about Pavarotti. Okay, so there were the three Tedders, right? We all know Pavarotti. I feel like there's a small chance you might know one of the other ones. He's got a really beautiful name. His Spanish. Antonio. His name means like quiet Sunday.

I think. Jesus Christ. His name is Placito Domingo. Oh, yeah. You know Placito Domingo, right? I've heard of Placito Domingo. I heard of Placito Domingo. I heard of you.

No idea. Who's the other guy? No one has ever heard of Jose Carreras in their entire fucking life. You haven't. Shut up. One of my favorite opera singers. You've never heard of. Probably if I was to name opera singers, he's like, he's like top three.

Yeah. He's probably top. Three and tenors. If I had to name my top three opera singers, it would be the three tenors. I also don't understand why. Why three tenors? Wouldn't you want? Like bringing like three snipers to an ex-com mission?

You've got to have something. Bleak. Real bleak. I don't know. Not sure. You've got to have some flexibility, some, some, some like, I don't know. Do you know what I mean?

It would be like having only three trumpet players in your scar band. Yeah. No percussion. Yeah, you need a saxophonist that smells bad. Oh, that actually comes off. Yeah. Sux offence. I've got something to chat about.

Sox softeners. It's a good. It's a new slur. Oh, we get that gig. You guys have seen that, that scar TikTok, haven't you? I'll send it to you You're talking about the one of the band that sucks that is doing the choreography that everyone hates

Yeah What are they called? I'm going to send that to you anyway Don't make me watch it again They've got a really annoying name It's like my enemy the frenemy or something My lover of the giraffe My oh

Why we're talking about shit that sucks I agree That really pisses me off You guys see any 0.0-0-tricks never. Fantastic musical group. Terrible name. Terrible name. And it's just a pun based on a radio station, the frequency of a radio station. Doesn't matter. What is?

1-0-tricks point never. 1-0-0-tricks point never. Because it's like 1.6.7 or whatever. Oh, that helps you. That's actually going to help me remember how to say it because I cannot get all the syllables in the right spot. Yeah. And how often are you having to say it out loud? I, I kind of respect the guy. I think a good, good musician. Daniel is something.

it's hard for me to get on board if I don't know how to type your name, your band, or whatever, into into fucking lime wire, right? My no dollars are not getting to you, brother. You guys ever seen any promotional videos from the band? I think they're called

Steam powered giraffe. I want to say? Shut the fuck. Yeah, so they're kind of like sort of like steam punky kind of. Are they going to be fucking election? retro swing.

They look, I mean, can you look at them up? Lucy, did you just take a flyer jersey off to reveal a flyer's shirt underneath? Yes. You the Joker.

It's hot in here. It's hot in here, it's hot in here, right? Steam powered giraffe. Don't. The mythology of the group is that they're like robots that play annoying music. Stupid.

Oh my God. And they do videos in character as the robots where they're like, It computes very nicely that we're playing a show today to be babboop. I hate this. I've seen at least one of these dudes before. It's the jerky head movements because they're robots. So annoying.

Yeah. I've looked at one photo. It's so annoying. Doesn't it make you want to die? Yeah. Hey, I filed a thing away in my something to chat about. So I was coming back from Bunnings the other day. You guys over here about Bunnings?

I'm driving behind his car. And I started going, the fuck is that in there? What's going on in there? There's like a screen up, like in front of the windscreen kind of thing in this car. Something going on. And so I'm driving dangerously close to the back of this car to try to figure out what the fuck I'm looking at. And after a minute I realized that over the top of the rear vision mirror

is a larger rear vision mirror shaped screen. that is connected to a rear-facing camera pointed out the back of the car. Yeah, I've seen these. And I just couldn't believe the fucking thing I'm looking at. It's also clearly like very cheap and getting absolutely destroyed by light bloom because it's like late afternoon. The sun's hitting the camera. The thing's just like full washed out white.

And I just kept wondering, what happens when you're driving the car at night? I'm sick all this shit They're putting computers in cars now Recently I think just within the last couple years They started putting computers in cars And I'm not happy about it

It's just happened It's not perfect But the EU said Come on You got to have some knobs Got to have some knobs You gotta go back to knobs a little bit You can have a screen

But you've got to have the knobs I think China just said that as well Didn't they You've got to cars have Physical handles Can't believe we're having this conversation But all this shit It sucks.

Put it back. Yeah. Put it back. Just the tried and true. Temperature and stuff. You got to have a hot knob. Yep. Cold knob.

You need a hot knob? Sometimes you make the same knob hot, hot cold. That's the hot knob for. For making it hot. I don't have air conditioning, so I don't even use the... You don't have air conditioning? No, it's fine. I got through the entirety of summer without it and wasn't a problem.

Yeah. But will only be a problem if summers... Keep getting worse and longer? Keep getting worse, yeah. Well, I don't feel like that's going to have. happen because bad things don't happen to me because in some ways I'm Mr. Lucky Duck. We talk about Lucky Ducks in Mr. Lucky Duck. He's Mr. Lucky Duck.

That's one Lucky Duck. This comes to us from WLS in Chicago. FAA investigating after large chunk of ice crashes through house and lands on a couch. That seems good. It's just water. Free ice. Oh, my couch is wet. Oh, yeah.

Pathetic. Yeah. My couch will be wet. that soon. I'm going to put a towel down, possibly. Federal authorities are investigating after a California resident reported that a large chunk of ice fell from the sky, crashed through the roof of a house and landed on a couch.

A homeowner in Whittier is left picking up the pieces after a large block of ice mysteriously fell from the sky and crashed through his home, according to Los Angeles County supervisor, Janice Hahn. You've got Donnie Darkett. Well, yes. You got Donnie Darko. Like, you're complaining about the fact. that it hit your couch.

Brother, you spent 12 hours a day on the couch and it didn't hit you. The one time you get up to go jerk off. Yeah. Not on the couch for once. You decided to mix it up. Mix it up. Maybe in the bed today. It's the universe's way of telling you to jerk off more.

Yeah. You got to get it out. You've got to get that out. You could be jerking off more, says God directly to you. Yeah. You got to see the signs. got to have your eyes open for the signs, you know? Yes.

Just, yes, listen. Be open to signs from the universe when you're getting Donnie Darkoed, but it's just telling you to jerk off more. To jerk off more. When you're sitting there, Gollum style hunched over the toilet looking at your phone. That's no way to live. Jerking off straight into the bowl and you hear that crash.

And it hits the warm spot where you had been sitting for the previous nine hours. No, this is real. That's a little decorum, please. Oh, sorry, when you're lounging on your bed with the candles lit, covered in various oils and creams. We don't have time for that. Can you cover it in oils? Coverage and creep.

Oh, that's what, you know, what women do with the candles and all the oils. No, I know. The majority of women are crouched over, Gullum-style jerky on a street in the bowl of the toilet. Oh, a suction cup dildo on the shower wall. Or on the car seat. If you're busy and you've got to commute, you know, you've got to find, you've got to find the time in your date. You guys notice that borderline illegal. Men are from Mars women from Venus.

I don't quite a few men that are from Venus actually, but I have a very diverse friend. Yeah, we do. Where we hang out. Yeah. Batcha fucking sucks off in this. She sucks off. Photos shared by Hahn show what appears to be a large mass of ice covered in dirt that landed on the couch inside the man's home.

How to get dirty? How to get dirty? How to get dirty? How to get dirty? There's no dirt up? There's not dirt up. Clouds aren't dirt. A clouds vapour and dirt?

No, clouds are pure. No, there's dirt in clouds. There can get water in them, though. There's definitely dirt in clouds. You can get sooty clouds and stuff, I guess. I don't think it's just vapour. I think there's particulate of stuff from the earth. Yeah, I think there's dirty clouds.

Also, America's been like dismantling the EPA and getting rid of all their environmental regulations. There's probably like some brand new coal factories with chimney sweeps going up, you know? All kinds of stuff ready to get caught in the clouds for the toilet block to fall through. What did you find, Theo, when you looked it up? Is there dirt in clouds? Yeah, yeah, there's dirt and shudderty in there.

Yeah. Yeah, there's dirt and clouds. What the fuck? There's dirt and clouds? Yeah, dude. There's fucking dirt and clouds. They got dirt and clouds now. Well, just found out they got dirt and clouds now.

Like a dirt and clouds now. Whole world's gone crazy. There's dirt and clouds now. Yep. I thought dirt was mainly on the ground. I was wrong. Yeah, happy to admit it. There's some dirt up.

There's dirt up. There's dirt up. There's dirt all around you. There's basically dirt everywhere. It's all just fucking dirt. We're all dirt. We're all dirt. Just embrace it.

We're all surrounded by dirt. We were raised in the dirt. Dirt people. Dirt planet breathing in dirt air. Some of us are looking at stars. Yes, Lucy. We're all nasty little worms. Crouched over at Golem style. Because they pick up frogs and shit sometimes, right?

Like if a cloud can pick up a frog, it can pick up dirt. Straight to the bowl, really? If a cloud could pick up a frog. frog. Yeah. You can pick up dirt. Yeah. Right?

Yeah. Yes. Yeah. And. And. Yes. And. Yeah.

That's so supportive of you, Ben. It happened just after 1115 a year, on April 10th. So just after he's time to jerk off alarm went off. That is prime couch sitting day, like hours, right? 1115? Yeah. He's like, oh, I just got done busting my third nut and something. blasts through the ceiling.

Oh, man. That's a Friday, April 10th. Yep, so he's... Not at work, I guess. Or probably, all these people, these fucking work from home jobs, I know what you're really doing. Check enough.

1150. Crashed over. Overwatch. Okay, well, we don't have to, like, address anyone in particular. I was trying to think of a video game. I'm sorry if you happen to catch a stray there. Hahn says resident

Yuda Growl heard what's sounded like an explosion, and that's when he discovered the block of ice and damage to the living room ceiling. Thankfully, no one was hurt. Yeah, because you felt the call of your boss. Empty me! Home owner Tanya Munga looked up flight data, which showed that a plane was passing directly over the neighborhood at the time of the incident. So I think that's where it came from. Probably came from the plane.

Probably came from something. You guys are so quick to jump to. conclusions. Yeah, we'd be terrible flight crash investigators. I don't know, it looks like they crashed. See you. And there's nothing in this house. It's just wet. It's crazy. There's nothing here.

The perfect crime. The perfect crime. But where did the hole come from? So are you sure you didn't make this hole in your roof? And I think this water is completely unrelated unless someone's invented hard water.

We are the team of air crash investigators who eventually accuses every person of putting the hole in their own roof. Just air crash investigators who have like the same curiosity of mind as like your own co-workers. Like, ah, I don't know what happened. They probably did it. They probably did it. They made their floor wet. I see here that you renewed your home insurance policy two months ago. Yeah. Very interesting. Interesting. It seems your annual payment for your home insurance was made only 10 months ago. Pretty suspicious.

You've been planning this for a long time, haven't you? And you paid more than last year. Interesting. The home is under the Los Angeles International Airport Landing approach. Data from Flight Radar 24 shows that there were planes flying over the house around the time of the incident, and that there is a plane flying over the house approximately every three minutes. It's a busy airport. Man, the Greens would hate it if they heard about this house.

What if I was on the ice plane? We've got to get Max over there. Imagine having a plane going over your house every three minutes. Is that enough that it would be a sustained sound? It kind of rules that they would build a house there in the first place. I'm not going to blame this guy. I think like, you know, maybe there should be rules. Did I say every three minutes on this exact flight path or just from LAX?

Just over that house. Over that house. That house. That's so many fucking planes. I also, I don't know whether... Would LAX have been there before people built houses up around it or was this one of the airports where they were just like, we're just going to demolish neighborhood and then chuck like one of the world's biggest airports here?

Yeah. I think they built LAX probably fine years ago. Learn to enjoy it. Learn to enjoy it. Flight path over my house. Just become a plane spotter. Do you have a flight path over? your house? We like never hear planes at our house ever.

Oh, I get a bunch. The Emirates A380 flies over every night. Yeah. That's really cool. I don't know that specifically. Okay. Yeah, that's strange. That's good for your sky cards. Yeah. Whatever. Do you forget the same?

Sky cards. You wouldn't want to talk shit about sky cards. Okay. Do you get points even if it's the same plane? Like the exact same plane that you've seen before? No, it's on cool down. So you do is if you get the same, exact same plane as you've done before we get fewer points and it's also on cooldown so you can't just be like... You can't farm the Brisbane to Melbourne plane that just goes back and forth and back and forth and back and forth. Oh no, no, you can do that twice if it's gone back and forth.

Oh, you can get it going both ways? You can get it both. Oh man, you can get it going both ways and it's like that. You can clip it coming and going. Now, Hahn is requesting a thorough and timely federal aviation administration investigation into the bizarre incident. I probably want that too, I think. Yeah, I would like to know where it came from. Quote,

we're lucky that Yuda was not in his living room when this block of ice crashed through his ceiling, she said. Very fortunately, he was hunched over sort of like Gollum over his toilet bowl. I said that in the article. He's sitting back to front like a lady on a wedding day doing the shit. A lady on a wedding day. What?

Reverse kenga lady on a wedding day. Yeah, just, just, okay, so. I don't attack me out of your wedding day. me out of your ignorance. So apparently, apparently it's easier for someone in a wedding dress. To enter the kingdom of heaven. To sit back to front.

To do a shit. Dude, I don't know what it's like the sequence of hoiking or whatever or dehoiking that makes this easier. It is probably just way easier to carefully hoik the side of the dress that you can see than the side that you can't. Yes. And we're saying that, that doing it like Gollum, punched over.

I'm thinking there's a lot more backboard to hit there as well. What I'm picturing is one arm on the back of the cistern. Yeah. Forehead resting on that arm. Forehead resting like you're a businessman sleeping at a plane flight. And then you've got your phone sitting on your thigh with your portographic video playing on it. Or maybe the back of the lid.

Don't want to fall in though. If you're in your wedding dress, you could slip your phone into the garter and hold it. it there. Yeah, that'd be perfect. If anything, what about the Porto Garda for the fellas? For when you're milking your little toadstool directly into the bowl.

Yeah. And you've just like, it's like the runners thing for your arm where you put your phone in so there's not jostling around your pocket. I think really, Ben, we could be adapting the Bob Dylan style harmonica holder. Oh, kind of like a horse feed bag for

porno? Wow, now we got both hands. I can do all kinds of stuff. He's getting anxious. He's getting angry. Quick, put his porno on. I need another holiday. I love that this is where you draw the line, Lucy. I mean, it's pretty nasty today.

It's gone. It's Sunday. It's Sunday morning. It's 10.30. Yeah, you don't try to have a placido domingo. Are we ruining your placido domingo? It is no longer a placido domingo. It is no longer a placido domingo.

It's Jose Carreras. It's the Kevin Jonas of the three tennis. The owner of the home says she submitted a formal complaint to the FAA. It is saving the ice in a freezer bag for the investigation. That's so funny. What if it melts? And then there's no evidence of the crime. Smart.

Yeah, they get in. They just call you crazy. So is it going to be full of turds? Well, probably not. It's almost certainly the plane was de-icing. But they're not certain. quote, we definitely want to know what it consists of and if it's going to affect our health.

Secondly, we understand if it is an airplane or something of the fact that we understand why it happens because even right now as we're speaking, there's a plane over us and it's scary. So can you say that again? You want the whole thing? No, I just couldn't hear

because of the plane going over. Oh, that's really funny. Yeah. It's called dietic podcasting. It would be so terrible to get plane traumatized. from miraculously surviving the ice crashing through the roof of your house

and also... But the body keeps the score. The body keeps the score. Your shoulders are so tense because there's a plane going over your fucking house every three minutes. And it takes like a minute for a plane to pass overhead. So you have like two plainless minutes

and then a minute of plane, two plainless minutes for your whole fucking day. That's enough time to get used to the absence of brain noise. I know the economy, etc. I think I'd do everything in my power to not be under the planes anymore. After the plane incident, you wouldn't want to be under the planes. You wouldn't want to live in the plane house after what happened to you because of a plane. Oh, I've kind of gone off planes.

Kind of gone off planes. Oh, I can be in them. No problem being in them. Only the bedroom for me. Lotions and oils. Under the bed. Oils. Cairns.

Plain ice never strikes in the same place twice. Yes. Very true. I think the good news for these guys is that there's a small, but maybe not that small chance that there's going to be a lot fewer flights in the near future. Yeah. I've got to thought of it that way.

Love word problems solve themselves. You guys remember when COVID was, we knew that it was in the world, but it hadn't really touched Australia yet. didn't know whether it was going to stop the world economy for like years or whatever. And it was kind of funny a bit as well to be like, oh, it's something going through it like hope couldn't be us. And like we have recordings of us like on this podcast of us. Oh yeah.

It's not. It's fine. I don't think it's going to be that big of a deal. I just want to get this out so I can clip. I will re-release whichever one is correct. Whichever version's correct, yeah. I think there's definitely going to be an oil crisis that's going to stop planes and cars and stuff.

Okay, and now the second one, it's going to be fine. Everything will work out fine. Yep. Munga noted that the ice had a bad smell and she is somewhat concerned that she touched the ice and doesn't know what it consists of. She's worried that it's poop. Stinky ice?

She thinks it might be that there might have been... Is there poop in clouds? It's not poop ice. Oh, there's definitely poop in clouds. There's forever chemicals in clouds. Isn't that fun? Where's it getting... Oh, no, don't say that.

Microplastics, forever. chemicals. They're in the fucking clouds, dude. Things should get better for a little while instead of always getting worse. We destroyed the firmament. Someone pierced the firmament. It's all poop up there. Yeah. At this time, the exact origin of the ice is unknown. The FAA said it is investigating and the agency investigates every report it receives

alleging ice fell from an airplane and damaged property. Cool. It would be shitty if they were like, we do every second one. Yeah. We do ones we feel like we can kind of like a slam dunk for us. Yeah, yeah. We only want the ones we know we can solve

instantly because that looks really good on our record. Do you have a high-res camera pointing directly upwards from your house? Because that's going to help us a lot.

We mainly do ones where the people who contact us about it aren't agro. Yeah. Preferably obliterated. If you call up in your rude, if you call up

and you're rude about it, we're not coming out. Why would I sign up for a day of that? You were unpleasant enough on the phone. Yeah. I'm the guy that's trying to solve this for you.

Why would I come out to your house? I hear that the couch is wet and there's nowhere to sit. There's nowhere to sit. I bet you don't even have any snacks. I'm not interested. Not even like one can of prinkles in the cupboard? Nothing? Hey, this is definitely an episode of the podcast, Bonta Vista.

Thank you so much for joining us. Lucy. Thanks for coming back to us. We missed you. I missed you. Yeah. I miss. The show is better for having you here.

Wow. It feels good coming out of. Missed you, guys. It's in there. I've never seen a person more uncomfortable in my life. That was beautiful. It was beautiful. I feel loved.

Enjoy your fucking playoffs or whatever, you jag off. That's so rude. I will. Thank you. Is it the playoffs? A playoffs? What are they doing? It's the first round of the playoffs.

Oh, okay. You wanted to leave early for the first round of the playoffs. Unfucking believable. Does anyone get knocked out in the first round? Well, it doesn't matter what I care about. Doesn't matter what women's interests are, what women care about. Yeah, classic women's interests. Neon Genesis, the NHL,

Airplanes. Literally so sexist. I'm sorry that we're always shitting on women's stuff. Call of Duty. Misogynist. We'll talk to you next week. Maybe on the bonus episode, Petron.com slash Bordamista. Goodbye.

Bye. Women can be autistic.