Boonta Vista - EPISODE 449: A Loose Sack Of Prepared Hot Dogs (live at the Brisbane Polish Club)

Episode Date: June 14, 2026

Recorded live at Polonia on June 13th, 2026. Lucy, Theo, Andrew, and Ben bring you: Delineations in shrinking, insufficiently narrow chutes, the poetry of Polish Subway, a direct line to our favourite pussyfree individual, boofing gin, some stuffs we maybe shouldn't chat about, a fantastical 2-in-1 device, Gamling in the news, and imaginary imaginary friends. *** Outro: Ya Gotta Love This City - Snooch Dodd & the Pro-Teens *** Support our show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista *** Email the show at [e-mail]! Call in and leave us a question or a message on 1800-317-515 to be answered on the show! *** Website: boontavista.com Twitch: twitch.tv/boontavista

We were watching Benning while you said that. Hey. What's up? Hi, Ben. Hey. Hey. Do you have an intro or? Do?

Is one of you guys not doing the intro? It's not really our kind of thing. Oh, I just thought because I organized everything else that I, probably, one of you, oh, fuck. Very bitchy today. Very bitchy today. Oh, shit. Yeah.

It's kind of been a cunt all day. I don't know if that's necessarily true. Shit, this is... All right, that... Oh, God, this is such a long shot, but, like... Like, no one, like, pre-wrote an intro just in case exactly this... Happened, and this was...

Is that... Is that Tim, Mr. Beast? No, you... Oh, my God! Mr. Beast is here? Pre-typed? And written on a piece of paper for us? Oh, my God, everyone give this man a round of applause!

It's Mr Brisbane Beast. Thank you, Mr. Beast. And don't his teeth look great. Oh, don't. That's, oh, okay. Intro, good. That, fuck, that's a, can you hold this one sec? That's crazy.

It's so unlikely. Wow, okay, I guess I just read it out like normal. Like, yeah, it's just good to go. I think the show might be like 90 minutes at this pace. We'll see. Yeah, holy fuck. Okay, here we go. Hello and welcome to Buendavista, episode 449.

Would have been... How badly did you want that to be 450? Yeah, we just had to do a Theophiles. We just had to do a Theophiles. And we could have released it this week, and then that would have made. But you were busy, so... Yeah, I was busy. You know, not a dying cat, et cetera.

Interesting. Well, it's all right, because it appears Tim sort of anticipated that it was going to be 449 anyway, so that's perfect. Ah. I am Ben. Wow, good pick. Crazy. God, you look very good at this. That's two things you're good at. Although you look less like him now because of the teeth surgery that he's had. I'm Ben and I'm here in a room with the other hosts of the Australian comedy current events podcast, Winter Vista.

Yep, yeah, so far so good. It's a pretty normal room, maybe a little bit on the smaller side. Okay, not small enough that it would cause any problems under normal circumstances. or even small enough that you would normally remark upon it. A bit verbose so far I'm finding. This bit of information might seem unimportant and you might be wondering why I mentioned it, but allow me to explain. I'm made of the stuff that inflatable pool toys are made out of, and I've been inflated to the size of quite a large inflatable pool toy indeed.

The size of the room becomes even more pertinent when you consider this. this. The other hosts of the Australian comedy current events podcast Punta Vista are also made of the stuff that inflatable pool toys are made of and they've also been inflated to the size of

quite large inflatable pool toys. Don't inflate me in front of a crowd. You haven't been introduced yet so if you could just simmer down. I assume he's familiar with the format of how he's going. I hope so. I mean he's typed out. Is this collegial?

He's in 2003, Microsoft Office? That's crazy, dog. That's very retro. Given my size, the size of my co-hosts, the size of the room, which I, Ben, mentioned earlier, is coming to bear on the state of play in that we are all forced to rub against each other and bounce off the walls and each other because we're all squeezed into this smallest room. And again, as I mentioned earlier, we're all made of the state.

inflatable pool toys are made out of, and we've been fully inflated. I'm so full of air, I feel like I'm about to burst. All right. I mean, like we've met a bunch of times, like I would consider us, you know, we're like warm acquaintances. This feels a little personal. Verging on, I don't want to presume, we'll find out. With me, oh, it's you guys, one of you guys, fully inflated and jostling into me, and we're making the squeaking noise that inflate.

stuff like balloons or pool toys make when they rub against each other is Lucy hi Lucy hey so like you wrote you wrote the thing like that's on the paper there you wrote it what you wrote that what are you fucking talking about it came those thoughts came to your head what you sat there and you came from out there it came from over there what if I was made from the stuff that it came from that man right there you could look at him don't lie don't lie to my face on a stage this is your dream you know you're at a jazz show and they go ah Our guitarist was hit by a truck. Oh, we're just riffing.

We're riffing. We need you to come in and play guitar and then you show them that you're the best, your Django Reinhart. Yeah. You know? This is his Django Reinhardt moment. Okay. Do you have a question for me or just a, hey, do I need to engage with this?

You could say like, I'm made of the squeak. I'm squeaking. Something like that. Yeah. Cool. You're happy? Feel good? He looks happy.

Yeah. I mean, that's what he wanted. Also with me looking very big and very. full and beautiful and round and practically ready to pop is Theo. Hi Theo. Hey, hello. Sorry, that's just the noise I make when I move around because I'm a large inflatable toy.

I've been inflated. You're like a pool toy. Yeah, like a pool toy. And I'm sort of bouncing around, but I'm also rubbing up against each other. There's a beautiful kind of, there's a smoothness, but there's a friction. sort of a, you know, it's a juxtaposition of feelings.

The thing contains its own anti-thing. Would you agree? I was agreeing with that before you started saying it. This is going to easily be a hundred-minute episode, maybe. Jesus. Also with me, oh, Jesus. Awesome. What, he is all.

Beautiful, smooth, inflated Jesus. Yeah. We're very transgressed. We're not, and we shouldn't be. Also with me, so full of air, he looks like he's about to split at his seams, but he doesn't. He just stays fully inflated, squeaking against me and Theo and Lucy and pushing himself and us around and making so... You've underlined so? I guess I should emphasize it more as kind of what you... Okay, making so much static electricity for.

from all the rubbing. Are you eroticizing the static electricity? Is that why my hair is standing up? I thought that was because I was horny. Unrelated, but both true. So much static electricity from the rubbing. It's Andrew. Hi, Andrew.

Hey. Hey. Are we like the pool toys with the hole in the middle? Can I talk to you guys about something? Would that be okay? Yeah. So I don't know what the fuck I have done. with my

Instagram algorithm. I'm a normal guy. I look at normal stuff. It's personalized, is the thing. It is, but not always correct. I think we could all agree. I don't like this. I have been getting a couple,

not a lot, but a few European, you would maybe look at them and think pool toy ads. Huh. What kind of pool toy? sexualized element to them where they're like regular

pool toys but they have a what there's like a bit on a pool toy that you can maybe say I don't have this like I know I know that most people don't have this I don't know what I've done it's a pool toy you can have sex yeah because apparently there are people

that and normal people we accept all types that like to they want to have sex with a pool toy if you you can have sex with any pool toy if you can have sex with any pool toy any bull I don't know. I don't know if you guys have seen these. No. No.

Not a clue. Shit. All right. Isn't advertising though? So people are getting paid for this. Well, there's like one lady in like a sort of body suit style thing who's advertising them that she's getting money clearly. Because these shows barely break even, but. Oh, you're thinking?

I'm thinking because we were going to do the pool toy thing anyway, kind of like a sort of big and inflated. and rub up against each other as squeaking and stuff. An affiliate link down in the link, yeah. We could have had a code. A little 10% cream off the top? I mean, these guys look like pool toy fuckers. They'd go for it. I mean, statistically.

Who are you? Which one of you is it? There we go. Hell yeah. Fuck yeah, all right. You know what? The person who wrote it. I'm remarkable.

No. It's strange. But close enough. You don't. Yeah. You guys meet up after the show. You've probably got a lot to talk about. You have a lot to do.

You have a lot to do. discuss. Look, this is maybe, I really appreciate that you did have this on your person ready to go because this would have been disaster otherwise, but it's not really the tone that I would like to talk about. No, that's fucking weird. So let's maybe like just change the subject to something else. Let's maybe do a segment. It's time for paging Dr. Lucy. You call 1-800-317-515 We were just doing the thing from, you know, in like news shows when at the end they're shuffling the papers.

And they're not actually saying anything. Just talking rubarb, rubarb, rubarb. That's what we were doing. We had nothing to say to each other. This is from R-slash-Sys talk. Go on. Pills are for shrinking without clothes. Shrinkrays for shrinking with clothes.

Change my mind. Yes. Say it again. Say it again. Yeah. I mean, it makes sense. I agree. All right. I already, sorry, Lucy, for your benefit.

I have a sort of slow processing space. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, all you're processing. You've got a little bit of a lag there because of the autism. Yeah. Some people have never listened to the show before and you mask so well, they have no idea. Yeah, thank you. Yeah, totally. The person has claimed this.

Pills are for shrinking without clothes, shrink rays for shrinking with clothes, change my mind. Oh, okay, gotcha. You understand. Okay, yeah. Who's going to change their mind? Who's going to change their mind? Who's going to change their mind? Who disagrees with this in the crowd? Does someone think that...

We finally found it. We found a universal truth. Yes! Fuck yeah! I heavily prefer scenarios with shrinking. Got it. For me, it feels more personal and it's a great power shift when someone who is the same size will be smaller afterwards. Yes. I think it's happened.

You've come across a fetish that I am completely unaware of. What is this? No, you definitely know about this. This is giant test stuff. No, no, no, no, no, no. No, no. You don't look at all the videos I send you. Giant test stuff is very different.

The lady is a video. big. In this, the man is small. The riff-ref. I've got a penalty for a thinly veiled fetish. Sir, I'd just like to keep you on side later on. Okay, so guys, just keep it fair and, you know, get on with the podcast. Thank you.

All right, we've had a call from the riff-ref-ref, there. Thinly veiled fetish reference from Theo, I believe. So just keep an eye on that, I guess. I want to get too many penalties. You're not accepting this fucking live podcast. How long did you think that was going to take? Because it's probably like, what, five minutes? We've been doing this for 20 minutes so far.

The show is basically over. However, there is... Is this how it's going to go? No, I don't think so. Targeted individual much? God, I mean, like, at least I... This was the first intro I got away with without being the specific target of as, like... Yeah, like, isn't it.

Isn't the fear like a nasty little anxious little guy, little goblin fella, little fucking trash bag dick wad? No. I don't think that's a fair way to characterise our relationship with you. Shirt and dress jacket, interesting choice. It's being kind of a cunt today, isn't he? However, there is always this question, will the shrinking shrink clothes as well or not? For me, it's pretty simple. If it's a pill or a disease, it will make more sense

if the shrinking is without clothes shrinking. Yes. Because the pill or disease has nothing to do with clothes at all. What's the shrinking disease? I don't use disease in your finished stuff. Disease, I don't know about disease. Don't say disease. Say condition.

That's nicer. My condition. Are we talking about... Is this like an Alice in Wonderland shrinking potion type situation? It could be. It's not a shrink rate. Absolutely it is. Of course it is.

Lucy. Sorry, sorry. But they got it wrong in the show, I think deliberately, because, you know, the audience and the kind of rating and stuff, they couldn't have, you know, Alice sort of like poking her head out of the t-shirt. And she's got, look, we... Alice from Alice in Wonderland wearing a t-shirt of jeans. We don't have to be crude about this, okay?

But she's got... Her norks are poking out, okay? And how old is Alice in Wonderland? How old is she? How old is she? Oh no! Fucking throw to the audience for one. Terrible idea.

We're not interacting with any of you. I thought it was like a late teens sort of situation. Still not good. Still no good. I'm talking 19. Don't, don't. Don't. You're reading me wrong.

You're reading me wrong. Alice. I thought she was at least 40. I don't know. The book is old. I'm not going to read. it? She gets small in it. This is going.

You know what? Let's wrap it up. It was lovely having you guys. Thank you. Thank you, everybody. All right, everybody shut the fuck up. Eat a piece of ice. But shrink rays attack the whole body, unless it's only set for something that lives, of course,

depending on your shrink ray gun, different settings, I guess. Organic material, inorganic material. Without that, the shrinking with clothes, too, makes more sense. Another thing is magic. Since that always depends on the person who casted the spell or cursed something,

if it's more scientific way and it's not a pill, it can be some liquid. In that case, it also makes sense to also shrink clothes. What's your idea? I'll see, they've got a catch-all in there for the Alice in Wonderland situation.

Magic. I guess that's more magic than science. And then that's going to do close to. But I don't really want to talk about that because I think she might be under 18. That would be very unpleasant. Lucy? Yeah.

Sorry, it's Paging Dr. Lucy. We ask you your question, so you pills up drinking with that clothes. What happened to just a little light BDSM, you know? What are we doing? You can like, bras and things has a light BDSM section. Yeah. If you can buy it at Brass and Things, acceptable.

If you have to go online, Lucy doesn't approve of it. And she wouldn't do it because she's... Brick and mortar things. Brick and mortar, that's right. If it has discreet shipping. I had a bit of a poke around size talk when I was in there. Don't know how this stuff gets in your algorithm anyway. Well, that's not in my algorithm.

This I seek out on. Not what I thought size talk was going to be, so, you know, great. Isn't that nice? We're all surprised tonight. I found out how old Alice is. You're finding out what size talk is. And we're all doing it together. You were doing that one alone.

I did find some sort of topical stuff inside, inside, size talk. If you guys ever watch the, I haven't, because it doesn't sound like something I'd be into. Have you guys ever watched the television program Euphoria? No. I think I saw two episodes of it. I'm kind of like the Zoomer. I'm kind of like the Zoomer.

I'm kind of like the Zoom. But there's like six and drugs on it, so kids can't watch that stuff. Anyone here up on Euphoria currently? This isn't a like bullying situation. It's just a literally just Nat. It's just you, Shorty. That's fucking insane. All right.

So in a recent episode or the final or some shit, you guys, Sydney Sweeney is an actress in this program. Yeah. You can talk about her knocks. Might have hurt. I mean, we don't have. I could. I can.

I'll keep that in my back. She has other stuff going on. Yeah. White supremacy. So in the, A recent episode of Euphoria, she, I don't know, I didn't really read into this, but she, her character does some giantess porn where she's like pretending to be Godzilla stomping around a city or something, right?

You would love that. I feel like I heard some yeses just then from the audience from people who didn't put their hand up what I said, have you watch the show, you fucking cowards. I think just know it from culture, from sort of osmosis. Osmosis. Yeah, from listening to this episode. Yeah, osmosis. That's when stuff soaps up other stuff.

culturally. So I saw two distinct reactions to this. And one sort of camp was people being like, this is very horny, I'm into it. Which, obviously, if that's what your fetish is, that makes sense.

I get it. She's a beautiful lady. And then in the second camp, there's a bunch of people that are really pissed off because it's going mainstream. Your fetish is becoming normy now. One of the ones I saw, they specifically referenced that footstuff is mainstream now and they didn't like it.

Because previously that had been like their niche thing. They're like, now everyone's in. Anyone can rate a full of WikiFeed now, you know? I don't think it... Anyone could be a model on Wiki feet now, you know? We can't. Anyone. Anyone at all.

Anyone in this room. You wouldn't even have to submit your own feet. Someone else could submit your feet. Hey, if you were Theo and someone happened to snap a pick of your feet and put them up online, you'd feel like a lucky duck. We talk about lucky ducks in

Mr. Lucky Duck. He's Mr. Lucky Duck. That's one lucky duck. Does anyone know what time we started? Just because I meant to be keeping an eye on that. He told me I wasn't allowed to have my phone up here. Yeah, because you get to... It's interesting now.

You're always playing Candy Crush. He told me that too, but I didn't listen to him because I have pathological demand avoidance. Fuck my life. This comes to us from WPVI. Woman rescued after falling into trash chute at high rise in Hackensack, New Jersey. Oh. Great. I'm glad she's out.

Cool. A woman was rescued after falling into a trash shoot at a high rise on Sunday in Hackensack, New Jersey. Fire crews say she was on the 14th floor when she fell into the shoot and became stuck between the 3rd. Third and fourth floors. That's so much time to think about it. Lady. It's so much time to be aware of what's going on. That's such a long way to fall.

And survive. Yeah. She became stuck between the third and fourth floors after getting trapped in backed up trash. Oh. What a lucky lady. It makes sense. Also, the fact that it's backed up to the third and fourth floors,

what are the people on the second floor doing with their trash. Probably going up to the fifth floor, I think. Hopefully not while that lady was in there. That's like a, what, a 10-story fall should probably kill you? That's my opinion. But into trash.

Into trash? Yeah. That's what stuntmen fall on traditionally. Exactly. Okay. I reckon she was... Trash don't hurt. I think she was touching the sides on the way down.

I think. That's pretty small. I think it was more of like an out-of-control slide. Yeah. Yeah. Which is also worse for how long you're going to be doing that for. Unable to stop yourself, but also. We have to assume head first.

How did she get in there? She's not getting in feet first. Yeah. Why would you get in head first? It's a good point. You're pushing the bag in. I got to push it down. Right?

I mean, she might have been kicking it down, but... Two feet? Doesn't seem likely, does it? No, I think she wanted to be in here. There's no way you just fall into a trash shoot. She wanted to be in there. The trash shoot? Yeah.

Okay, interesting. That's not my belief. I think this woman was like, oh, God, it's really jammed in there, two hands, pushing. Then comes clear all of a sudden. Straight down. And then she's elbows out. Yeah.

Hopefully wearing a long sleeve garment, because otherwise fuck that for a laugh. and then she's, you would want to also put your feet out sideways, hopefully wearing shoes, and it's sort of a breaking mechanism, right? This just wouldn't happen to you. It would have gone down different if you were there. Yeah.

I would have stopped one floor below. Yes. Because my feet would have perfectly stopped me, and I would have just calmly climbed out. We would just come out head first. You were being born onto the next floor down. A guy walking past me? Yeah, what upro?

Yeah, no way I handled it. I actually do the right things to do with my head. and feet so I'm fine. I'm kind of the Jason board of falling into trash chutes. I always have a way out so don't worry about it. After cutting into the shoot and removing

debris, firefighters were able to free her about 30 minutes later, according to the Hackensack Fire Department. That's not bad. I hope she could reach her phone. 30 minutes, a lot of time with your own thoughts. She probably had our phone down there. Yeah. It's a lot of time to be upside down if you are.

And like you're really relying on your neighbors having like good, active garbage discipline. Like not just waiting until the bag is full. Wow, that whole building sounds fucked at this point. You want them to be like, I've put something stinky in here. And even though it's not full, I'm going to take it out today. You don't want it to be one of the people that's like, this is fucked, but I am going to wait until it's full and then I'm going to take it out. You don't want to be landing in that.

That's nasty. You've got to hope that these are practical. non-ADHD people. I don't think it's happening. I hope she's living at a building free of people with ADHD. Because they're a blight on her. Don't do that here.

You can't just show up on time. She was treated at the scene. One firefighter also suffered an arm injury during the rescue. Well, that sucks. That's no good. Leave her. They're rid of her.

They're in there. She wanted to be there. I don't. Yes. Yes. And she wanted to be in the trash suit. I agree. They've got fires to put out.

Yeah. Yes. They've got to put out a fire in the flat iron building or whatever. I agree. I'm trying to think of famous fires. Oh, fuck. This is grim. Hey, those firefighters, they must have worked so hard.

I bet they needed a meal afterwards. Where's a place you could get a meal? Some way. It's time. for subway. It's chilly out there. Hey. Sorry, I know you're closing soon, but can I get a...

A foot long? Meatball. Toasted. Thank you, Vinno. He's very well represented in the stingers that we're playing tonight. Oh, that's nice. And he's here to... No, he isn't.

No, he would never leave camera, apparently. What a dog. All right, these are... A joke. He was killed. Yeah, that's good stuff. These are all one-star reviews for the sandwich restaurant. No, I wouldn't call that.

It's a restaurant. Sandwich shop, subway taken from Poland. Yeah, deli. The nation of Poland. Woo! Big fan. Big fan of Poland, generally and the Polish people, thank you for having us. Well, Paul Report crossover.

Notice which theme I chose to play. These are a lot of these are Google translated, but I think the poetry still comes through in the language. Here we go. The worst service I've ever experienced, she literally threw the sandwich away after I paid. Oh, that's gone through? Bam!

How does this keep happening? Every country. It's something about the color green, I think. It's the green in the subway logo. It makes the women crazy. Only the women can see the, like, subway green that makes you crazy. That's what it is.

It is always, she threw my shit in the trash, isn't it? She told me my sandwich was gay. You know the second teen subway employees standing next to her watching and laughing all throughout. Every time. As per the training. They serve chicken here as if the cat were crying.

They have interesting standards here. That's a beautiful phrase. I don't quite understand it, but I'm going to start using it. Is you going to go look after the cat? You served me dinner as though the cat was crying. As if the cat were crying. Terrible service. Sorry, this is in all caps.

So I guess I should do this faithfully. I just do the accent too. No. Terrible service. I've never encountered such a pleasant service in my life. You politely ask if it's possible to add source. And the answer in a hurt tone is no. No sauce in Poland.

No. That's a tragic tone to these ones. It's those long winters, I think. Be careful because the blonde with big ears and a thin body completely destroyed all ideas about poles. Spoiled the whole mood at 6 in the morning and drove my mother to a nervous breakdown. You're getting a 6 a.m. sub?

You can't be doing that, brother. They've got the bacon and egg one though. drove my mother to a nervous breakdown? I think she was on the way. Yeah. I blame Subway for that. Horrendous. The food which I ordered was absolutely the worst thing I put in my mouth.

The toilet was horrible. The worst thing I put in my mouth implies there were multiple things I put in my mouth. They were also bad. Of all the things I put in my mouth while I was inside this subway restaurant. By far the worst. another visit is in vain they keep telling me it's too late for a sandwich and just force a hot dog on me

sorry there's one more word left failure that's beautiful I love the idea that oh I went in there at 530 and they were like it's hot dogs only you will eat a hot dog and you won't enjoy it I am picturing that they were not

sanctioned subway hot dogs either this was hot dogs from home just a loose sack of prepared hot dogs taken get out get the fuck out you're all fucked up by dicks your face is fucked up your dick is fucked up even your tits are fucked up

yeah and how about subway yeah what about the subway I mean they paid to be here but bought a sandwich the person making the sandwich put like one kilo of sauce on my 15 cent of a sandwich. I tried to eat it and half of the fillings fell on my arm and on the floor

because of the amount of sauce. Couldn't even finish my sandwich and had to throw it away. I've eaten a lot of Subway sandwiches throughout my life and never have I ever had to throw out my sandwich because the maker decided to put half of the sauce bottle on my sandwich. The flavour was good, but the amount of sauce not. It's really famine in the flood with the sauce on these in Poland. That's a healthy attitude though. They were like, well obviously this was a disaster. but still taste it pretty okay. Tastes are good, though.

I have to be fair. I have to be fair. That Jared makes a quality sandwich. I need to know what tone they asked for their sauce in. Yeah. Did you ask for a bit more sauce? I'd like some sauce, please. All right.

Okay, I'll give you a heap of sauce. Whatever, man. My child had a seizure after eating a sandwich from the subway. And the staff started swearing. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, shit. Fuck.

Fuck. That keeps having a seizure. Fuck. I am not trained for this. I work at Subway. I insulted that kid so bad he's having a seizure. Do you have it because of the Subway sandwich? Are we assigning blame to the sandwich?

Yeah. I mean, they don't say so, but I think so, yeah. It's kind of implied, right? It would have been irrelevant to mention it if the Subway sandwich didn't, like, play some part in it, right? Yeah. It must have. What a nasty red-headed rag he was serving me.

He had a rude mouth and a perverted face. Fire him. You know that the redhead you've got that looks like a pervert? Let him go. He's done. The one with the rude mouth. I like that. Man, Polish people are just putting it all out there in the reviews.

So medieval. They're living large. When the service is unpleasant, one loses the desire to make gastronomic purchases. So true. That is so true. That's really true. That's so true.

Yeah. Yes. Clock it. Yeah. Everyone want to speak on that? It's always 150 dumb bitches saying, yes, exactly. I think the left side of the audience want to talk that shit. They want to talk her shit.

We're not doing this. Okay. I got food poisoning. I thought something was wrong when I ate it, but I'm telling you. I haven't eaten in a while. Maybe the memories will come back soon. Dot, dot, dot. Spicy Italian.

I haven't had any memories and I've been sitting on the toilet for the third time writing a review to warn those hungry. I haven't had any memories? This guy had subway and turned into shingy. Hey. Oh, fuck.

Another violation. from the RIFRef. Really? Really? Very disappointed, unashamed anime reference. I just need you to bloody calm down, all right guys? Is there a list of these? I want a nice clean game, I don't want any more of this, alright?

So you're on report and yeah, playing on. Yep, thanks man. Cheers, man. Sorry, Dad. Also, when did he change? He's been wearing that for the whole night. What are you talking about? So it's just a warning from the riff-reff there, just anime. Just an anime violation.

It won't happen again. Won't happen again. Keep an eye on that if you can. It's like we finally got an HR department. It's great. Oh, you're next. It's coming for you. Who knows?

Be careful with the egg. I regretted it. Be careful with the egg. The egg of regret. And one more here. The ingredients are so bad and unhealthy that today I have to go home and vomit because of the sandwich. Nobody cares about it.

anyone in this world. They're all so forlorn. Man. This is the Polish mindset. It feels true though, doesn't it sometimes? You look at all the shopping carts, people haven't put back and stuff, who gives a shit?

Nobody cares about anyone. No one gives a fucking shit. They're cut into something human here in the Polish reviews for subway restaurants. They're finding some truths. Yes. We'll probably end up talking about subway again. as we sometimes talk about things multiple times.

It's time for an update to an old news story and oh shit, it's an update to an old news story. Oh shit, it's an update to an old news story. Now you guys are pepperjack a little too spicy for you, motherfucker? A little spicy pepper jack? First glass of red wine, he just upgraded himself from orange. I was so sad about Vino as well.

You guys are partially across this. already. You guys. You guys. This is an update to episode 427, a pussy-free cell of one's own. This is our Christmas episode, I believe, or the episode just before Christmas, I think. We talked about pussy-free on Christmas? Before Christmas. Pre-Christmas.

Pre-Christmas. You'll do it a tough at that time of year. You can get pregnant from pre-Christmas. Yeah. All right. Yes, thanks, Judd. Onfield call for Can Get Pregnant from Precum.

Let me just bring up the footage. Yes, looking at the replay, we can clearly see that Lucy has blatantly used the offending phrase. I'll refer back to the onfield call and recommend strict punishment. He's reading from a fucking script back there. I'm a sound guy, not a podcast.

This has all been scripted. Okay, you want to know something fucked up? I didn't script that part. I did it all myself. You've been doing it all day. In Lucy's defense, Mary, the mother of Jesus. Got pregnant from no pussy on Christmas? From pre-Christmas.

Fuck. Am I wrong? You are a comedian of... It's been so long. So get in. I haven't heard this in like a year. Yeah, if you want to go to the bar at this stage. Probably a good time.

It could go and goes on like this. Oh, it's just... It's just... ...top. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. You've been right to not play it for so long. Great. Yeah, thank you. Nice.

You'd think after it being so long that the payoff would be huge. It's just kind of like a little wet splattery. This is your preferred method, by the leave. All right, so this is the guy we talked about in 4206. Pussy Free Cell of one's own. We talked about a guy who was celebrating 10 years of being pussy free with his wife. I don't know if you guys remember this. It wasn't a main episode, so you should have heard it.

They went on a holiday to Spain and Poland with their bull. That was sort of the crux of the story. We were sort of lightly making fun of the guy, I think, but, you know, in a spirit of kindness and generosity as we approach all things. Now, this is something that was sent into us by a listener, Lucy. one of the mods of R slash Pussy Free about 10 days after this post was made sorry 10 days after that episode was released

posted apparently you've been featured on a recent episode of a podcast something called Punta Vista It doesn't feel good, does it? No And we have a reply here

From the gentleman. Oh. Oh. I didn't go on to the Reddit. No, and I'm very glad you did. He says, ha-ha. Using sort of a reverse in terror bang, so question mark first.

Ask questions later, right? I've found and saved the episode, and we'll give it a listen to when I get a chance. It sounds good. Ah. Oh. First mistake. No, it doesn't. Oh, do you think he listened to it?

No, there's no way. No, I hope not. Thanks for telling me about it. He-ha. With the E's. And then he posted again 22 minutes later. Well, that wasn't embarrassing to listen to. Oh, no.

Now, he's posted, do you guys know sort of like the cute face emoji? It's like big eyes and the eyebrows. It's sort of, oh. Yeah. So that happened. I like to do that with then like a line break and then the two fingers pointing inwards That's a good one.

Yeah. He was doing those ones, I feel like. Well, I showed her to my wife and she laughed so hard. We're a part of someone's finished now. Yeah. Oh, for the first time ever. That we know of.

So I went through kind of an emotional journey here. My initial gut reaction when you posted it was to feel horrible. Me too, because I only saw that initial post. I was just like, this is a real person with real feelings that we have used for our own entertainment. We've used for comedic fodder, this guy that's been pussy-free for 10 years, and we think it's funny, we're laughing.

He's a real man with the driest penis in the world, and you're laughing? That's funny to us? So I thought what we had done was maybe kind of fundamentally mean. This is a man talking in a private community about something that's very personal to him until I got to, I showed it to my wife and she laughed so hard. And then I realized,

we probably made that guy come harder than he's ever coming his entire life. That we, this is like, it's a published. And that's better? And you all kind of facilitated it? Well, that's kind of, I was thinking maybe to sort of like. Is he here?

right now? Stone cold music. To make it up to him, you know, that it's very... Stone cold, what's... What's it? You want to repeat that? I don't think... I don't think it's got enough.

Having too much fun. Check the tape. I think, like, to, like, it's kind of invasive what we do sometimes, but I think maybe to make it up to him, because the ultimate gift we could give him is like 160 people humiliating him. Oh, I bet he would hate that. If I could just get all of you guys to hit me with a, you're a nasty little cuck.

Is that, are you guys on board with that? Yeah, great. All right, three, two, one. I'm so glad my mum is here at this show. Never been more happy My life Oh boy hey For this guy

Hearing a room full of people Tell him he's a nasty little cuck That must be a bit of a trip We talk about trips In the Tripping Report I'm like itching for another edition of the Tripping Report This comes to us from

Arrowweed user silly Wabbit Fuck you Having heard for a the legend of drinking alcohol rectally and then reading about Amy Winehouse snorting a shot of vodka and not dying well she did eventually famously in fact yeah I decided to finally try alcohol rectally yesterday from searching online most postings recommended using a standard enema applicator you don't want to use non-standard yeah that'd be crazy rigging your

own one from home Mixing warm slash body temp water in a one to ratio with any burgundy red wine. Wine? Do I guess with a red wine? No. Oh, I don't know. I don't think it's going to make a massive difference if it's a white. Yeah.

I think you need to be picking about this. You're putting like breadcrumbs up there? Maybe some sage? They're calling it auto stuff. I'm only got auto stuff. I hate wine, but I love Bombay Sappho. Okay. Okay. Now we're talking.

Now we're talking. I'm back on board. Since I'm heavier than most people, six foot three and 270 pounds. Tell me more. I like booze up my ass. Six foot three, 270 pounds. Do you like stuff up your ass? All right.

Give me a call. Sorry, Bob. I'm also sorry to Ben's mum. I felt confident I could handle more alcohol than the standard dose. Great start. Great way to start anything, to be honest. I love that knowing groan from the audience, just there like, there are three vodka boofers in the audience guy like, rookie mistake.

The enema applicator holds six ounces of fluid. I think is that? Like 120 mil? That's a small coffee. That's small, right? Yeah. It's like a, yeah. Because a beer is like 12 ounces.

It's a standard animal. Oh, it's just standard animal. An ounce is a shot, right? An ounce is 30 mils. It looks like a turkey basin with a very thin, three inch long nozzle. Much like Theo's penis. I heated tap water, it's at 99 degrees, and checked it with a digital thermometer to not burn myself.

Oh, buddy, at 99 degrees. That's always boiling point. Yeah. Burn a little joke about degrees. That's good. That's funny. Thanks, guys. I poured a one-ounce shot of Bombay Sapphire into a true-lined one-ounce shot glass

and sucked it up into the animal applicator. I then squeezed out the air and I also sucked up and sucked... I also sucked up and sucked the remaining five ounces of water. I put a small portion of wet platinum lube on my... And completely lubed the three-inch two. applicator. It slid in very easily with no pain at all. I squeezed the plunger and got the full six ounces of

liquid in my ass. It's just good to keep up today with the news. Yeah, just to know what's happening. There's so much going on in the world, you know? It's just current events from around the world. T plus zero. So I guess this is the moment.

T plus zero, yeah. Oh my God, it burns. It would No way No crazy Sensation subsided within 20 seconds Okay That's not too bad

That's not too bad T plus one I feel like I need to One second or Oh I think it might be minutes I think It can't be an hour, right Clarifying question

Yeah I feel like I need to poop a turd Don't Say it that way You can just say poop I like that I'm going to go pupper turd real quick

It might feel different Right You never know Getting up from the table at the restaurant I need to shit But just the normal shit I must go puper turd I know not to

And I hold it Wisdom is knowing When you need to poop a turd But choosing not to T plus 5 Very warm sensation starts to envelop my head Like I just did four shots of liquor in a row.

Yeah. Yeah. That seems like you did one. Yeah. But that's the power of the anus. It's incredible. I feel like we don't talk about the power of the anus enough. Like I've been thinking as you kind of walked through, like, it gets you drunker, right?

If you put it in your asshole, it gets you drunker. Yes. Has anyone here ever taken alcohol anally? Just a little hand up. You don't have to yell. No one else looks. Close your eyes. Everyone close your eyes.

And then if. It's a safe space here. Put your hand up if you have. It's surprised. This is so non-judgmental except for Lucy. It's very judgmental. T plus 20. Feeling truly drunk on one shot of liquor.

Okay. Incredible. A bit of a game changer. T plus 40. Room is spinning. Feel like sleeping. Very strong buzz. Good rhythm.

Yes. This is nice. What I mean? One, two, three, four, no. But thank you for asking. T plus 41, this is one minute later. Urge to poop is overwhelming. I feel like she can go at this point, right?

Yeah. You've done your dash. By the time you're completely drunk, it's fine. It's fine. You got what you want. It's like how elephants, they're going to pick up a lot of stuff like sugar cane and that sort of stuff. They're going to chew on it. They get the goodness out.

And then they dispose of the stuff that's got no goodness left in it, right? Like, her bomb bay sapphire. Well, wait. It's been depleted at this point. It's depleted bombay sapphire. Can I just stop you for one second? Yes. Please.

Okay. I don't know if anyone saw during the giant test stuff, I ate a piece of ice so I couldn't talk for a whole minute. Right? There is not a single thing in this text that in any way indicates the gender of the speaker, and you have immediately gone to she. Are you sure? Is that right?

Which means you're the least sexist person on this stage. Yeah. I honestly thought I was about to be called out for respecting the divine family. No, I've... Feminemimony. Femimimony. What? The what?

So get this. The divide femdum. Women are angels. Uh-huh. And? So it's not? We don't know. We don't know.

We don't know. Isn't that beautiful? I've been... T-plus 41, urge to poop is overwhelming. I run to the bathroom and squirt what feels like a bad case of diarrhea. Dyer slash Hershey Squirts. Weird coincidence. It smells horrible.

Feels like diarrhea but you're unsure. Just have a look. Have a quick look. You shouldn't have to look to identify it. You should probably know. You should know. If you can't identify diarrhea by ass feel as a grown adult, what have you been doing this whole time?

Are you supposed to taste the color? I mean, oh, you'll get a room full of people and say, what? At the same time? I'm so lost here. Are you counting, like, liquid Bombay Sapphire as diarrhea or is not diarrhea? It's a little bit of semantic ambiguity here. If something already entered your asshole and then comes out, is it diarrhea? Is that what you're asking?

Is it what he's asking? I don't know if I am. Okay. I think what Lucy's asking is a great question. Yes. Fuck you. ontologically, smart person.

Ontologically, yes. If something is entered your asshole. And it comes out diarrheaically, is it not diarrhea? If it's diarrhea form, does it not take on the qualities and the character of diarrhea?

But what if you look down in the toilet and it's as deep and blue as late Bichel? Lake what? Lake Bichel. Lake Bichel. Okay. Lake Bichel. in Russia

is that where the Siberian hell sounds came from no no no it's a lake oh T plus one buzz about the sorry T plus one hour buzz about the same still spinning hell yeah dude

DJ you do with this spinning those tracks deep cuts rare grooves I feel like my assholes are firm And also this stuff. T plus 1.5 hour, buzz wearing off. T plus two hours, no buzz. I think to myself, this must be the crack way of doing alcohol.

Damn. Have you tried in your mouth? That's crazy, dude. That's crazy. Yeah, it's like doing alcohol on crack. Very low price and very intense buzz that doesn't last long. The burning is very bad. I would not try this again.

That's good to know. We've let you know so that you don't have to try it. Yeah. The dangers of putting alcohol up your anus. That seems like something we should chat about. We talk about stuff we should chat about in a segment that we like to call... Oh, fuck, I'm on the wrong screen.

Let's get that clean. I'm going to be so hung over when I edit this tomorrow. Oh! Fuck! We have a penalty for abysmal podcasting. Ben Boots-McClay, you're on your final warning. I won't have this anymore and keep him on side, would you make? That feels very broad.

Also, you can't kick him out. We don't know what to do. He's an unsolvable problem. We talk about stuff and stuff we should chat about. Here come some stuff we should chat about. Stuff we do to chat about. Yeah, freestyle. Yes.

It's scat. Yeah, baby. Yeah. Now, one of the things that I was going to put on the list for, so Judd has come into this with his own list as the riff-ref, and I've given him some things, so we've sort of, let our lists touch in a way. Kind of like just the tips, your list have just kind of touch tips a little.

Yeah. Yeah, okay. I honestly felt electric. Wow. One of the things I was going to give him was us talking about off-screen characters that no one would know and that aren't really useful if you're just listening as a person at home, which he is probably the top of the list of people that are mentioned on the podcast. That we have mentioned on the podcast.

That you would have no context for. That's Judd, by the way. That's Judd. Yeah. That's the riff-ref, that's Judd. Yeah. But I was worried we're going to get stuck in a self-referential circle where he comes out, and then I mention him

and then he has to come back out again. Today, by the way, is his 23rd anniversary of being together with his beautiful life. Isn't that fucking incredible? Yeah. That's huge, and they've decided to spend it

at a live podcast. I mean, I mean, spend the start of it. Well, oh. Well, he's going to be so heightened after this. Yeah. He's probably got to be tired. Tuck him in.

Also, I don't want to sound critical, but like, If you get married, you don't get to have two anniversaries. Oh, I'm getting a fuck off. I just like, if you get married, you have to, this is their, like, relationship anniversary. No, you just get a wedding anniversary. Speak on that. Grow up.

No, speak on that. Speak on that. Right? You agree. I do agree. You get married, you just get the wedding anniversary. You don't get to double dip. That's true.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, I agree. I agree. where the fuck does he get off so we're all on the same page and everyone else in this room

is like yeah two anniversaries that's beautiful sometimes this show is just for us conflict is not abuse don't speak on that we should move on all right so you guys know about Wikipedia the free encyclopedia yes yeah

I heard of it yeah Jimmy Wales yeah yeah yeah yeah is that his name Jimmy Wales Now I'm saying it out loud. Jimmy Wales. Very big fella. Haunting song.

He can't be called Jimmy Wales. I got cornered by Jimmy Wales and he really pressed me for money. But not very much. A little bit. Reasonable. Very reasonable. $3, I think. But the money doesn't go to actually the people that make Wikipedia.

It goes to the Wikipedia Foundation. Yes. And what do they do? What do they do? What do they do? What do they do? They do. Sorry, I'm already very lost for what my point was.

You know you go to look at a movie on Wikipedia. We've all been there. Tell me about it. Don't I know it? I'm watching a movie and I'm going, Wikipedia and I'm looking it up. Yep. It's the first stuff.

Do you need a plot synopsis to read along with? Yeah, because I'm stupid and I'm not following along. What's happening in Viridiana. But you're very disciplined. You won't read any further than how far you up. I stop at the paragraph that's pertinent to me. Yes. Yeah, kind of a stop-and-go method.

Yes. Yeah, you go a little bit? Green light? Red light, red light. Headlight? Yes. You know when you're looking at a movie on Wikipedia, unless it's a movie that, like, no one has seen,

when you get to the bottom, there's a little subheading, reception. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Kind of like at a wedding, which you'll remember from two minutes ago. And it tells you what people thought of it. They give you the Rotten Tomatoes, gives you the IMDB, gives you some snippets from Vincent. You're getting the news.

Roger Ebert. Roger Ebert. For sure. Pauline Kale. Pauline Kale. Some of the greats. They tell you how, you know, sometimes you watch a movie and you think... Gene Shalett died today. At the age of 100. Yes. A hindo. Exactly a Hyundai. Crazy-looking film critic, Gene Shalett.

I believe I saw an obituary for him that was like dishevelled film critic. Is that the guy? That's a great way to be remembered. That's inspirational. I hope that's in my obituary. Yeah.

This guy looked like shit every day of his life. And guess what? It was sort of on purpose. Okay, so you watch a movie and you're like, I think that was pretty good. And then you get to the bottom and you're like, oh, fantastic. They agree with me. Or, yeah. Oh, apparently everyone else thought this was dog shit.

Maybe I'm wrong. So you guys notice that like in nearly every other art form, there's not a reception subheading. Okay. You look like you're disagreeing with Mike. People have also released music. I feel like you may be... Yeah, there's album reception. Hey, what more...

Remember how people talk about music? What are you talking about? All right. Other than music and video games. Are you sitting like the reception on like the Belarus page? So all of the art, except for paintings? I'm saying paintings is the one I was thinking of. So you don't have like Mona Lisa reception?

Yes. Okay. Other works of art. The poems. of Walshitman. Did you save this for the live show? I'm nice. I'm respectful.

And like while we're here, while we're talking about stuff we should talk about, why didn't the Eagles just take the ring to Mordor? Fuck. Where's Jard? I'll tell you why. Okay, first and foremost. Oh, fuck.

We know, we know. Because they were created in the image of, was it, Irovatu? Can anyone, what's the, what's the name of God? Thank you, Ariravitar. I'm bad at names. Don't get them, in on this. Eagles, Eagles, beautiful feet, okay, gorgeous feet that, gorgeous. And what if they made them really big?

Beautiful feet. But what are they going to do? They're going to put the ring on the foot? It's waiting to be stopped. You ever just feel like there's a presence lurking behind you? No, because that's the ring of power. They're gonna fucking fall to Sauron. So, of course, you still have, you still have Frodo, you still got Sam.

Okay? They're calling it. They're holding the ring. Wrath. Wrath. He's not ready to make a call. He's waiting in the wings. But they're going to carry it the whole way.

But Tolkien thought about this. You think he didn't think about the fucking it? Oh, we've had a call. I believe we've got a captain's challenge for a fucked Leo, fuck Theo Lord of the Rings thing. I was waiting for a Denedithor, but it didn't quite come yet.

No advantage plate, no, I'm going to allow it. Please continue, sir. But, on his deathbed, he turns around, He realizes the folly of his direction. He knows that Samwise, he's going to suck all on those beautiful feet the whole way. Bad call by the riff.

Tell me, I didn't hear anything. He's going to arrive, rested. Beautiful, like born the next day, just dunk that rig into the fucking whatever. You know? How am I meant to explain this to my mother? I'll just play it to it. Clearly you guys didn't like the Wikipedia reception thing.

All right, whatever. I'll go fuck myself. I thought it was good. Quite the opposite. I thought it was bad. I thought it was good. It got me, it got my,

it got my juices flowing. All right. I have a backup one. Did, did it, has anybody yet? Thank you. Has it,

has anybody else noticed that guerrillas are the Beatles now? We're enabling the crowd too much. I don't care for it. Okay, you know, when, shut the, sorry, no, it's a live podcast, you should be speaking. You know, when we were young and when someone just wanted to wear a shirt that said, I like music. You think it's guerrillas now?

Have you looked at? I don't look at Zoomers. I don't look at them. They don't, they come into my, that's like a blur. I'm not allowed to look at them. They're all wearing. Legally. I agree.

Young people are wearing shirts with the guerrillas logo from like the self-titled record on it. Like all of them. Do you think they really like the deep cuts from the self-titled record? Are they listening to Man Research Brackets Clapper? Are they getting into 5-4?

Are they getting into M1, A-1? No. Are they getting into tomorrow comes to shut the fuck up? It's a perfect, beautiful album. Yeah. Have you guys seen this? You guys clearly haven't, because you're looking at me like I'm a fucking alien.

I'm so confused. I don't recognize shit when I see people with shirts on. Like, there's like, so you see, you ever see, like, a person with a shirt on? He's really picking up steam now, isn't he? Yeah. And there's like, there's like four heads on it. And you're like, this could be anyone. Like, it's just four people's faces.

And you're like, who the fuck is this? And then underneath it says, let it be? I guess I'll go, fuck. Fuck myself. You say you have face blindness for the Beatles. Is that who that is? Oh guys with weird haircuts. I kind of thought this was going to eat up a little bit more time, but I guess not.

Oh boy, if you're listening to the recorded version of this and you're thinking, yes, correct about the gorilla shirts, you can tell us via the Buntavista hotline. We should probably wrap this up pretty soon, I think. Yeah, yeah. Just wrap it out, wrap it, I mean. I'm doing good, I think, but the whiskey here is... The mics are off now, right? Yeah, you can send us an email. Mellbagged at putsavista.com.

Maybe DM us on Twitter. Could even message Facebook, but we don't really check the Facebook, yeah. All right, this was sent into us by listener Logan, who I was quite excited because I was like, man, this guy's definitely going to be here. I don't think he's here. Logan, are you here tonight? You piece of shit.

Wow. What a dog. This man lives in Tripilli. It is not a long way to come. I fucking hope you were listening to the recorded version and you feel like shit, unless an emergency happened. In which case, I hope you're doing okay, buddy. Sorry.

Sorry. Big fan of you as a person. Yeah. And your emails. He loved Vino. We all loved Vino. Who is dead, by the way. He's dead.

Fuck. He writes, Hello, Bonta Vista. That's us. Hi. Hello. They don't say hey. No, tonight, we're all Bonta Vista.

This crowd is dog shit. There are some rude fucking people in this room. Very rude. We can't do another Brisbane live show, I think. The more we do, the more comfortable they get. Oh. Very nice, but I'm suspicious. One of you.

This website does not allow screenshots, but I would direct your attention to this product and a single five-star review it has. Thank you. It doesn't allow screenshots. Coming into your house and stopping you from taking a screen shots. How are they doing that? It's crazy tech.

I mean, you're a fucking web guy. Yeah. How are they doing that? Like Spider-Bad? That's good. Everyone's had enough beers to think that's really funny. Fuck. Barker strong, dude.

Do you think that joke was worth the money you paid? Spider-Man. You remember when we did that first live show, the Gippy one? It wasn't hostile. The room was nice. We were nice to each other. was so ironic. Yeah, Lucy wasn't there.

You're going to talk about being hostile. All right, I want to say, okay, hold on a second. Hey, just hang on a fucking second. I think we should probably keep going with him. Oh, you create a little space for Lucy real quick. Yeah, thanks. You got your little on stage persona, but you came here when the curtains were closed and you said, Theo, you look great.

Andrew, you look great, great. Lucy, you look kind of slutty. Word for word. Word for word, right, right, right? Right, yeah. Okay. He did say I'll look great, yeah. Those were not my words.

My words were, oh, you going out dress like that? That's worse. They were your words. Now that I'm saying out loud, it's much worse, isn't it? This is all banter. It's all made up. Don't worry about it.

The product that this is in reference to is the vaporator smokeable vibrator by Maya. Okay. You all heard about this? Vaporator, smokable vibrator. Vaporator smokeable vibrator. Vaporator. I believe vaporator is a portmanteau, a vapour and vibrator.

I don't care for it. Portmanteaus generally? No, that one in particular. It's not elegant. It's not elegant. And I want my smokable vibrator to be elegant. Yeah. Well, what is...

I mean, yeah, you do. Because those are two, like, purchases that, you know, if you're in a position where you have a little bit of extra money, you're going to, if you're buying a vape or a vibrator, you want to be like, I'll spend a little bit extra money. Get the good one. Get the good one. If you're buying both in a single purchase.

I need a bargain. I'm looking for value for money at that point. I want the cheapest and most barely effective one of both you have. Now, a vape vibrator, I thought I knew a thing or two about the female physique. That is one of the most horrible phrases I've ever heard in my whole life. We have heard how beautiful you think the female anus is this evening. I thought those holes were kind of far apart. You ever feel lost in this world to drift on?

If I feel like your episode is getting worse as time passes. Kind of like, kind of like shing your carieper. Well, if you don't podcast. The first smokeable 420 friendly vibrator, the vaporator accepts your favorite 510 thread cartridge while offering 20 high-speed vibration functions. Who's using all those? Ladies, am I right? Who's using all those?

Can we speak on it for a second? Who's using... We're not! Like you literally... You're using constant and under maybe some circumstances, pulse. Exactly. Right? I wouldn't presume to tell anyone. Notice how that was so true, it didn't get a single laugh.

Incredible podcasting. But you could hear their spines nodding. Do you think they got any safety stuff in play to stop you from switching it on while you're vaping it and shattering your teeth? You know what? That's a really good point because my safety concern was the opposite one. Yes. Getting hot. I'm like getting vaping your pussy.

Yeah. I don't know if you've like accidentally tried to like change the swap out the chamber in your vape pot. it's still hot or whatever. It turns out the thing that is only designed to get quite hot. It gets quite hot in there. You go, Oh, kills the mood when you have to say,

I think my vibrator's vapors turned on. Give me a second. This sucks, man. The product, not the... Yeah. This is easily worth $30. Alternate between vaping and vibrating. Water resistant.

The vaporator is suitable for vaginal insortion. or clitorial stimulation. Correct. Covered in high-grade smooth silicon on the vibe side, the vaporators topped off with a golden non-porous metal leaf adornment and crown that's removable to insert your 510 thread cartridge. It's USB rechargeable with an included charging cable, so it's not EU compliant then, I guess.

Does it say anywhere in there like, why? Yeah, dude. Alternate between vaping and vibrating. Yeah. What are you going to have two objects? Can't I just have one of each? I am kind of sick of having objects. Yes.

But like, so the first thing I've said that you've agreed to. Items. Yes, we got it. Speak on it. Oh my God. When you say vibrator, we're all picturing using it in the bedroom. But sitting on your couch.

Okay. Fucking. Sitting out of my dildo. But you don't have to. Out of my dildo. Come on. What does this look like? Remember when we used to get male about Andrew

being like the heteronormative sex negative? It's only for the bedroom fellas. Yeah. We're all picturing having sex in the bedroom, right? Yeah. Check out fucking what's his name Kinsey over here. This guy's break it out with you.

That's all I'm saying. Yeah. I think you, I will reserve my judgment until we get to the end of this. Okay. The review. So this is the review that Logan, who should have been here.

unless there was an emergency kind of bullshit that they're not but okay Logan unlucky Mr. Bad Show No I don't think so okay so when I saw this on IG I was immediately intrigued

a vape and a vibe I was skeptical that this was just a novelty it is why it absolutely is but the opportunity of having both in one stylish package said yes I have to get it but would the vape work

Answer, yes, perfectly. More importantly, would the vibe be worth the expense? Resoundly, yes. Oh, okay. Okay. I bet you guys feel fucking stupid. Not really. Good, because you're so smart.

No, no, no, no. Okay, look. Do you vape out of the tip? No, this is such a cynical world view. This is such a cynical view we have. We get up here, we make fun of this shit. We go, we go, yeah. A thing that does two things.

Putting alcohol up your asshole. The price of living these days. The war in Iran. It's Pride Month. How does he know that? Who told him? Who told him it's Pride Month? I put my browser on private mode.

When is Pride Month? Yet? People are wanting to save a little money. they get one object instead of two. Is that so crazy? Is that so nuts so? Yes. Oh.

Yeah. I'm hearing yes. So are you taking, like, you're taking your pussy vape out to the pub? You're not taking the pussy vape to the pub. Yeah. Hey, you want to hit this? Yeah.

Oh, not that side. Turn it around, turn it around. I think that is technically a form of sexual assault. My wife. I don't hear the ref. That's not what he's for. The ref is so tired. Oh my God.

My wife has been an erosolator fan for years, and she has barely used it since. Say erasolator. This product is so good, it got his wife to stop using the erosolator. That's a sad image, though, though, right? Like the erosolator gathering dust on the shelf. Oh, covered in cobwebs.

Toy Story 2! Slow motion dropping this dildo. Now, I had kind of, I don't know if it's just me personally, I heard a Roselader, I was like, this is part fan, part vibrator. Yeah. No, it's a vibrator that also oscillates. What do you mean? Oh, it's a Roselator.

I'll tell you later. Actually, it looks too much like the contraption for me to be interested in it as a sex toy. Like there's too many moving parts. I'm like, no, something's getting, you got pinch points on there. Yeah, much. Okay. OHS and A and all that shit. Am I right?

OHS and A lot of pleasure. Am I right? Fellas? This crowd sucks. Leave Austin. It's very strong at the high setting, which she goes for. Nice, dude. Okay.

It's nice and silky smooth. The removable cap adds to a better grip and is a really nice looking sex machine. Andrew? That's how I describe you. So this is a listener telling us like what's setting their partner blasts? No, this is a review. No, no, no, no, no.

This is not Logan. I thought it was getting really personal. Yeah. That's a lot. No, we get a lot of those emails, so just don't read them because it's weird. This is a review that Logan has pointed us to, but I love that that's the reality you've been living in for the last 10 minutes. But yet the IP tracks back to Injapili.

I'm frankly shocked I'm able to write this good of a review because I didn't think this could be as good as advertised but after multiple booming o's and the ability to puff right before or after makes this a five star every day sitting down to my computer to type that in every day you're pulling out the vaporator

yeah every day I'm vaporated can I just Jesus you guys remember song? Fucking hell yo Can I just ask a question?

Yeah. How long is it taking you that you need to vape during? How addicted to your vape are you? I mean, we all know what you're like. Yeah. You know what people are taking the time. I think Ben's speaking on a little thing called aftercare. I wish you'd never heard that word before.

Don't speak on it. I should never said that. He should have known about aftercare. I'm just pat-matching at this stage. I don't know what that is. Fuck, this is... All right, I've got probably two or three more stories left here, which is going to give us, based on how you people have been fucking behaving,

20 to 25 minutes. Is your stamina feeling okay? Because we can ditch some of this shit. No! Straight to the toilet. Fuck. Can we? All right.

Buying the vaporator and then finding out that it's actually amazing. It's kind of the opposite of the one thing that you wouldn't want... I've actually goofed up all of this. You fucked it. Oh, boy. It's time for a combination of celebrity watch slash this is the one thing we didn't want to happen. This is the one thing we didn't want to happen. This is by far the weakest story in the notes for this episode.

And is also the one that has brought me personally the most joy. This was sent into us by listener John. Thank you, John. Thanks, John. from Radio New Zealand Great Barrier Island ferry loses both life rafts. I'm already laughing.

All right, the fact that you said that sarcasticly is now actually making fun of the people of the audience who did laugh. The one guy in particular we all just heard. Passengers on a ferry sailing from Altea slash Great Barrier Island could only watch as the vessel's two main life rafts snapped from their ropes and floated away in choppy.

seas on Sunday. God. That's a sad image. You don't want that. And isn't it ironic? Don't you think? I do. That's why I said it.

Hostile. Auckland resident Bruce Hopkins was on board the afternoon voyage to Auckland after visiting a friend on the island and said the usual four-hour trip took six hours. He estimated the swells were up to two metres and there were up to 30 passengers on the car ferry. Quote, I've been on boats where you're just smacking into the waves, the end of the swells, and you feel the whole boat just shes.

shakes and that's what was happening he said okay quote it was like whoa bang the skipper was bringing it back like he wasn't just powering into it he was doing what he had to be doing and everything hopkins oh oh an actor known for his portrayal of gambling in the lord of the rings what no way it's fucking gambling dude it's gambling i've been talking about gambling i know you've been on the a gambling, like, what do you call that thing? Train? I don't know. What do you call that thing?

I don't know what you're asking about. The gambling thing, what do you call that thing? I'm on the gambling beat? Yes. You've been on the gambling beat. No one else is talking about gambling. No one else. I think any other podcasts are talking about gambling.

I think we're literally the only podcast in the world talking about gambling. And I also think I'm the only person on this podcast talking about gambling. Yeah. Like you guys will sort of like, yes and it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, gambling. But I love gambling. Yeah. Who here reckons they have a mental image in their mind of who the character gambling is?

All right. Oh. Yeah, okay. I've seen like seven people. Yeah, there he is. You're allowed to marry my sister. They're already engaged. It's not weird.

It's fine. He's one of the ginger guys from Rohan. He's sort of like the king's like lead, King Theodon's like main dude in the Lord of the Rings. If you googled him, you'd recognize him. It's really good. Yeah, if you guys knew about gambling,

now we're getting a really lacklustre response to gambling and there's still probably half an article here. You know what? I'm ditching it. Fuck your. Dump it. You don't like gambling enough, doesn't matter. Yeah, well, maybe it's because most of you You guys don't even care about gambling.

A lone desperate gambling lover out there. We talk about Gen X in Gen X watch. Just can't believe he's gone. He's not dead. He's just in camera. Same thing. No, you're right. He's still here. He's in our hearts. Rips to a real one. I swear I had another beer on the go. Is that another case?

Anyone that's not me? Maybe I'm drinking your beer. Are you? Maybe? You never had a beer. Dude, this is from R slash JetX. Imaginary friends.

Did you have them? Did your kid? You cut. No, it's all right. I got another beer now. I don't even worry about it. So, I had Leedy and Lobo. They lived in the fireplace.

When we moved, I was three. Lobo came with us. Leedy stayed. This is related to me, but I don't remember it. My kid didn't have an imaginary friend In fact, I haven't heard of imaginary friends in some time Curious as to your experience You left one of them behind?

Lidie stayed behind Lobo got to go Left with Lobo turned around and said Not coming with us Levy? You're not coming with us There's not room on the shuttle You had two imaginary friends and you're like, this guy's got to go You held a pillow over one of their faces

Before you left I had to kill him He had to go Kind of sucks. He couldn't come along. Guys just kind of sucked. You guys ever have an imaginary friend? No, I barely have real ones.

Oh, but they're all here. They're all here. They're all here. Us and these people. No. No? I've never really understood. I don't think they exist.

Definitionally, yeah. That's very true. I also, I know. No, I get what you'd say, but that's fucking No, but I get what you're saying, and I agree with you. Oh, thank you. But there's no way to phrase it that makes any sense. I think people who say they have imaginary friends are making them up.

So, yeah, I... Yes, and... Yes, we mean that the people are lying for attention. No. Okay. Yes, that's what I mean. Very defensive. I just think I've never met someone with an imaginary friend.

Well, no, because I don't think they're real. You know what that means, sir? Because you are the imaginary friends. Look around. You know, in American movies where they're like I had an imaginary friend or whatever. I've never met a person as you were saying who claimed, because I agree with you. Well, they wouldn't tell you, would they? Well, I think some people would.

Did anyone have an imaginary friend growing up? Oh, my God. Except for you, Kara, because I don't want you to be mad at me later. I think it's real when you say it. I just, I'm not really familiar with this phenomenon. And I do agree with this Gen X poster and that I think it's dropped off. I think imaginary friends are chopped.

I think imaginary friends have fallen off. Yes. They're kind of chopped. Now we have online friends. That's right. Two imaginary friends who talk back. My imaginary friends on the computer or the podcast I listen to.

Where are your imaginary friends? We are not your friends. Some of you, maybe. I do have some answers here. Uh-huh. I had an imaginary twin brother named Luigi. Oh. You're your fucking neighbor Mario.

They give a bit of a context here. I was a lonely, only child living in an Italian neighborhood during preschool years. Come on. That's so good. It doesn't mean you have to invent an Italian, imaginary friend. He could be called anything but Luigi, probably. They could be from anywhere. I tell you, neighborhood of what?

Like Sunnybank? That's not a... That exists. The idea of an ethnic neighborhood that's not... No, I mean like the, like, the, like, part of it. Yeah. Why is this crowd supportive of everyone but me? Got another one here?

Pete corn lived in my closet. Oh, shit, dude, you got Pete corn? Peacorn? No way. I heard Pete corn. I heard Pete corn. You know? You know what I'm talking about?

Yeah. Is it you're Jonathan Davis? Clearly. I call him Pete Corn. Oh, I thought it was called Pete Corn. Burby was my guy. Burby? Burby?

Burby. Burby. Burby. Burby. Burby. Burby. Furby with a bee. Burby.

Ferry with a bee. Okay. Oh. Yes, I did. I had several, all named after different countries. Fuck you. Just getting greedy. Yay, we're having fun, Zimbabwe.

This is awesome, Finland. What are you fucking doing, you little freak? I did. His name was Pete Up. What? Pete Up? Now, this is spelled P-E-E-T-E. Yes.

So we're already at two Pete's so far. Yeah. P-E-T-E-E-Hifon Up, UP, UP, UP. Pete Up. Pete up. Pete up. Just have a normal name. Pete up for what?

What about Steve? Am I right? For Christ. But the Daniels, right? Yeah, give him something. Give him something. My sister had one named Zonst. No, she didn't.

Awesome. My sister and I had one called Gugu. No, you didn't. Are they, like, up in the tower, like, watching you? Through, like, many different shapes of binoculars and telescopes? What? Would you like to explain your joke? Okay, so, so, so.

Is this the... video clip for Iris? Is that what you described? I didn't want to get there that fast. Well, that's actually my gift. I get you there much faster than you thought it would happen. I know. But only for men.

When I was three or four, I had an imaginary friend named Monog. Okay. M-O-N-O-G. Man-n-O-G. It spells like it sounds. I have my final answer here. No? The most normal answer of all.

All right, I think I've reached the emergency final story. We probably only got there because you guys were so shit about the gambling story that I had to cut it short. This is also from R-Sash Gen X. This is such a bad fucking story. Did anyone else's father have a dedicated drunk driving car when they were a kid? Wow. No, but my uncle did.

My mom told me he was an inventor. And he helped invent the ignition breathalyzer. And that's why he had one on his car. That's why I'm going on. That's why he had one on his car. Wow. Fuck, dog. Jesus.

It's no good on his car for drunk driving. It's okay. It was a pitiful. I think this might actually be the end of the episode. Shit, dude. It's okay when a song finishes on a minor chord. You know? That's beautiful.

That's really nice, actually. I know. I came up with that. Claire DeLoon, motherfucker. Thank you so, so much the Polish Club for having us.