Boonta Vista - EPISODE 452: Are We Fucking The Hamburglar

Episode Date: July 5, 2026

Lucy, Theo, Andrew, and Ben bring you: The faces of Joel Edgerton, a warning from the future, naming your sex playlist, and a forbidden liquid. *** Outro: Sex Music - Beak> *** Support our show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista *** Email the show at [e-mail]! Call in and leave us a question or a message on 1800-317-515 to be answered on the show! *** Website: boontavista.com Twitch: twitch.tv/boontavista

You're yucky and I'm really into that. I think yucky stuff is cool because I'm not a regular world. I'm just one of the boys and boys think yucky stuff is good. Hello and welcome to Bonta Vista episode 452. I'm Theo. This is another one of our classic quiz intros. And today we're asking the question, pious or profane, as I challenge our contestants to determine whether what I am reading is an excerpt.

from the lyrics of a song from Pan-Abrahamic post-hardcore legends, Me Without You, or a message sent in a classic sexting scandal. Contestants will also grab an extra point if they can name the song the lyrics came from or the horny devil who sent the text. Ben, Lucy, Andrew, shall we begin? Is this a buzzing in situation? Are you yelling our names like we have to sometimes? You will yell your names once I'm finished reading

the excerpt or sext quote. So we can't buzz in halfway through. No. Okay. Will we lose a point? It will interrupt my enjoyment of the sext or the me without you couplet. So expertly assembled by our advice. Okay.

What new mystery is this? In overflowing emptiness, the invisible is seen amongst the shadows and the mist. Andrew. Andrew. It's the band that you were talking about? I'll give you a point if you can remember the name. Me without you? Yeah, you got to know.

That's one point. Never heard of this band, by the way. Yeah. And is that Pius or profane? Is that Pius? That's Pius, yeah. Pius. Because they're Pan Abrahamic?

Yeah, he's kind of just like... He's a deist? He's talking about a Christian band. He worships the Baha faith? I... He, there are parts in there from the Baha faith. There are parts in there from... the Quran from the Bible, Hebrew quotes, etc.

You mean like the Baha men? Yeah, that's right. The Baha'i man. Yeah. You have these guys? Who among us released the dogs? Second. The Biddle King slammed down his fist, your flowery descriptions, no better than his.

We sent for the great light and you bring us this. We didn't ask what it seems like. We asked what it is. Lucy. Me without you. That's correct. Can anyone jump in with the song title? Nope.

The Beedle. That's from the King Beetle on a Coconut Estate. I was going to say that. If Sucker doesn't score a hat trick, then you'll just have to sit on my face. If who doesn't score a hat trick? Sucker. Lucy, Lucy. Lucy.

Sext. Profane. Yeah. Or Tiger Woods? No. Would anyone else like to have a guess as to who that was? Anthony Weiner.

No, that was from Shane Warn. Oh. That makes more sense. What good is just one note? Oh, one string sounds fine, I guess. But we were once one note, we were lonely wheat quietly ground into grain. I'm just going to throw this one to Ben.

Yeah, that's me without you. Torches together. Correct. Ben has brought up. tied with two. Yes. I was born of the thought of mine.

I was the ISIS flag design. You are a lilac queen paddling through your empire's streams. Lucy. Lucy. Pious. Yeah. This is bumming me out.

Wonderful. Pretty easy so far. Every lyric. Oh, you would say that. You've got all the fucking points. Yeah. I know you have tried every positing imaginable. But what turns you on

besides a dance? DP. Andrew. Pro fame. Yeah. Who was that? Shane Warren again? No, that was Tiger Woods.

Oh, really? Yeah. But he's usually more boring than that. Can you read the Shane Warren one again? If Sarka doesn't score a hat trick, then you'll just have to sit on my face. That's better, actually. That's more of a, more of an appeal to it. It's playful.

It's more of a. Playful. Yeah. He's having fun. Yeah, he's having fun. So it's just like, I don't want to be, like, quizzed sexually, you know? Yeah. The Tiger Wood one is, sounds more like, help me fill out this questionnaire.

100%. Yeah. All right. Caught me making eyes at the other boatman's wives and heard me laughing louder of the jokes told by their daughters. Andrew. Andrew. Pious. Correct.

Do not have a name of a song for you. No. All right, that's from messes of men. I don't know any of their stuff. I don't know one song. I know at least one song of this. I pull you close, run my strong hands down your body, softly kiss your neck and whisper good day, mate.

Fuck, Andrew. Profane. Yeah, who was that? It feels like I'm being led into saying Shane. Bungunger. I'll say Shane Warren again. No, that was Andrew Broad MP. Yes, that's what it was.

Couldn't remember his name. Fuck, I'd forgotten about that. I think he was deliberately having fun. Yeah, absolutely. He's having a great time with it. He's been cheeky. I'm going to do all the work tonight. Andrew?

Andrew. Who was that? There's just been so many of the C-O-Wen driver, the racing driver that was like hiding the shed from his wife. Warney again, we're back to Warnie. See, I was one question early for understanding we would be tricked back into Warnie. Yeah. She's like a hot cloth on a fevered head and like a needle she leads me while I follow like thread. Tie me up untie.

All this wishing I was dead is getting old. It's getting old. It goes on, but it's old. And you like, you like this? You listen to this? It's really good. I don't think we need to get into like dissecting the lyrics of the things that each of us like. Yeah.

That's not going to be good for anyone. He's talking about sexual longing and then self-loving, reflection. Sleep token, bullshit. It's fucking. I don't know what sleep tokens sound like. Oh my God, they sound so bad. So bad. So fucking stupid.

But the live shows are amazing. They're kind of more like athletes than musicians. All right, no one gets a point. That's Ben's Boone. That's from Tie Me Up on Tybee. I may need to see the booty. Fuck. Ben.

Profane and I think that was one of mine? Thought it was kind of private, but. That's from Maroon 5 frontman, Adam Levine. Of course, the body is insane. The body is insane. I have no idea I would love to have the ability to make you sore Ben, Ben, I'm going to throw to you

Hey? Is this Pice? Is this a misdirect? Wrong, no. I did think, I thought this would be the joke that no one would get anything wrong. Jigsaw. I think it's the jigsaw puppet. No, no points for anyone.

That was from Tiger Woods. Oh, fuck, dude. Yeah, right. Depressing figure. Time will fill the rubbish yards, the hospitals, the funeral yards, but neither time nor I can hold your 1985 Chernobyl heart. Andrew, pious, and can I just observe that the thing that I love about when Theo does a quiz intro is that he does, I would say, at least three to four times more of these questions than I would write out if I was doing the same thing. Yeah. Yeah.

I think he respects us and our ability to focus on something. That's correct. I'm a country guy so I know how to fly a plane, ride a horse. Fuck my woman. My intentions are completely dishonorable. Lucy. Andrew. Proveem.

Yeah. That was. That's Andrew Broad again. Yeah, Andrew Broad again. I could remember his name. In the sentence, my intentions are completely dishonorable. It's just been bumping around my head for so long. That's how I'd be sexting.

So good. are dishonorable. He kind of has the juice, though. Yeah, that's a lot, that's a lot hornier to be like, I'm coming to do bad things. Yeah. Coming to do bad things to you. Yeah, I'm not like, yeah, Tiger Woods,

again, he's doing the fucking, like, eyes bugged out blushing face with every one of his texts. And this guy's just, like, six fucking eggplants and then, like, splash emoji. Yeah. I love having someone sex revealed, because it's like,

there's no way for them to be good. Like, there's no way that your sex could read well to another person. No. No. Because it's always going to be at least some kind of relationship

between you two preexisting before the sexting starts, right? Yeah, that's right. I mean, I suppose there's people out there cold sexting, but that's none of my business. I don't think it counts as sexting. There's no way to make it sound cool. Yeah.

I love you alive, girl. I will, sorry, I'm going to read that again because it's a very crazy way to send a sentence. I love you, a live girl. I will show you with my body, my lips and my eyes very soon. Lucy. Lucy. What's the opposite of pious again?

Profane. Profane. Profane. And I'm going to say, ooh, call me by your name, guy. What's his fucking name? Cannibal guy.

Ammy Hammer. Great answer. I did not include any. Army Hammer sex. Because of the implication. Yeah, no, that's from Jeff Bezos. But he's back on top.

He's back on top in an Uwee bowl film. It's an Owee bowl film. Well, a man's got to eat. That's a reused joke there. I was appreciating that, Theo. Thank you. Man's really got to the window. She carries a candle at midday.

Andrew Pius. Ed is a very quick on the buzzer Yeah Fuck you look so fit When are we fucking Andrew profane Fuck who I'm gonna

I reckon that's Adam Levine again No I think that's too forward His stuff was like a bit A bit ally coded He's a bit ally He's like wow I respect how nice your pussy looks So it was that kind of tone

Andrew's on the scent Yeah. But no, I don't have an answer for this. That one's also Warnie. A true master of the game rips to... Yes, he just knew how to get to the point, you know? Yeah. Not like this, though.

The other night I dreamt I was finally out of college. In my own pair of sandals, I had turned into my father. Whistling our tune about the Rio Grande, like an anchor ride in June, I took hold of my own hand and started on the Abrahamic joke we knew about apostrophe, fees and pronouns and you remember who. But let's keep that silly punchline between me and you, Little Haroon and the man in the moon.

The one is profane and it's Ben again. Yeah, I was one of mine. Again, thank you so much. Andrew, more than twice everyone else on nine points. Oh, well, he's just the loudest, isn't he? He's just the loudest. Just the loudest, just the fastest.

I think I was the one who wanted that to end. He was most hungry. I think you wanted the weird movie. Most hungry for the release. God, I love me with you so much. Yeah, you do. Hey, Shane Warren. He's kind of a celebrity.

We talk about celebrities in Celebrity Watch. This is the one thing we didn't want to happen. Oh, no, I accidentally. I picked the hybrid one that we used for the live show. You stitched them together. Wow. This is not news in any way, shape, or form. Back when we were just hanging out in the green room

before we came out for this show. Lucy and I were talking about Joel Edgerton and then I had a look at his Wikipedia article and I would like you guys to look at the second photo of Joel Edgerton that is in the Wikipedia article for Joel Edgerton.

Oh! Our group chat there. What is happening there? How would you describe what he's doing? He's kind of... Gollumlet and a form? He's goleming. He's golluming. He's golluming on the red

carpet. But he's kind of doing, I would describe the look that he is putting out as golem's about to get some pussy. He's kind of rubbing his hands together. He's got a real slimy grin on his face. Who the fuck did that to Joel Edgerton and why? I think he put it there himself. I think that's good. That's his daddy likey face. Yeah. I've only just realized how wet he is in this photo. Oh, he has been raided up. No. Is it not just a velvet jacket? Is it I thought it was a velvet thing at first, but look at the fall of it across the top of his arms and down the side. He's wet. Is he warming up?

Oh, he's dripping wet. Is he rubbing his hands together to get warm? He's doing the bit when you come inside from the rain and you rub your hands together. Interesting. But also, he looks like I have just said yes to buying a really overpriced, like fourth-hand car from his dealership. Yes. You know. Oh, you've made a great decision.

Let's get that paperwork together for you. Plus someone's made his head like 20% too big as well. Yeah, true. He does have a case of tiny body in that photo. I have a tiny body. I'm with Ben. I think they've enshrunked his body actually now that I've thought about it. If you guys, sorry Al, this is not a great sort of thing to be doing in an audio format,

but the next image down in the Wikipedia article for Joel Edgden as well. It looks weird. Head look weird. Head looks weird. They've Charlie Kirked him. They've changed his proportions. They've cooked you. Don't Charlie Kirk him.

I think Charlie Kirk's Joel Edgerton. Oh no. They look like they've shrunk his face sort of into the center of his face a little bit. I think that's just how his face looks, dude. I mean, I'm a big fan. I was talking about him because I really like his performance in Master Gardner. But he looks weird. Him and Sam Worthington.

Both do have like big time tradey face. Absolutely. It's a very distinctive Australian look. They look very. This is, they've changed, they've taken a tradie and they've put them in the fucking, what's the, what's the thing with a, Kieran thingy what's it? Put them in Nita. The British show.

Or you've got too many of my potatoes. What's that one? What? What? With Kieran? What's his name? To EastEnders? What the fuck you're talking about? They've got too many potatoes.

Yeah, too many potatoes with Kieran. Got two potatoes. The, um, the fucking, uh, the, the, anything. It was top here. Togia. Topeka. Anything. The Oppenheimer guy.

Cillian Murphy? Killion Murphy? Killy and Murphy. Piki blinders? Thank you. Yeah. They've given it an Australian trading peekie blinders face. Kieran?

He's got too many potatoes. What is got too many potatoes? You're talking about Killian Murphy. In Pee-K blinders, we've got too many potatoes. Classic through line throughout that show. Never watched. Could be enough of potatoes. There is kind of a wonderful democratization in the Wikipedia, like, public rights photos.

Yeah, you've got to find a photo that was not prepared for. I think a similar kind of, well, because you can get in and edit them. Amelia de Moldenberg, the lady from chicken shop date, was talking recently about blasting up the photo she wanted on her Wikipedia over and over until they locked the article. You can... Should she be doing that shit? Well, you can get in and change them,

and I think there's a very similar dynamic. I don't know whether to take her down a peg. Should she be doing that shit? Should we be taking Amelia de Moldenberg down? That's a good idea for a podcast. It's called Should they be doing that shit And we just talk about stuff that's happening

And then we ultimately decide I'm going to pass the mic to you And you're going to say She shouldn't be doing that shit Right? And I go like 100% disagree John C Riley Should they be doing that shit?

I don't think they should be doing that shit Yes, John C Riley Pop off Easy, great engagement from the poll that you put on every Patreon post You know They shouldn't be doing that shit

Click click click click click Yeah You know They shouldn't be doing that shit, they should be doing that shit. Proper Scran. Those are the three options in the poll. I don't think she should be doing that shit. For the record, that's my vote.

Well, I'm saying, your own Wikipedia article. I'm saying, I think the Wikipedia pages is a similar thing going on with IMDB pages for actors. But like some people, you go and look at them and obviously they have had like a professional photo done and used there. And then there's ones that are like just a still from the production of a movie. Yeah. And then there's the ones that are like... Dying third child.

There's ones that are like, I got a photo of Bigfoot and they're blurry in the distance. Yeah. At the front of the Chinese theatre. It's Walton goggles at the circle. Walton goggles. Walton goggles. Walton goggles.

Walton goggles at the Chinese theater. Also, this... Yeah, he's walking for Squarespace. This article is not long enough to require three headshot style images of him. Like most short, we can be able to

I don't think there needs to be a limit on screenshots. You know he sells, you know he sells goggles, right? Yeah, well,

goggles, goggles glasses. That's the joke. And he made his sight with square square space. Yeah. Yeah,

it kind of sucks, doesn't it? Celebrity ruins everything. Yeah. Don't you get enough? Don't you get enough? Haven't you got enough?

Have you got enough? Fallout? Haven't you been getting those fallout dollars? That wasn't, it was enough. It was enough for a joke in an SNL sketch.

You didn't need to make a company, I think. I have some really bad news, and that is that Ian McShane has changed his Wikipedia photo. No! From the iconic photo? The iconic,

it's not there. It's gone. It's gone. It isn't there. And now they've replaced him with a photo where he looks like Rufus Sewell. What are we doing? What have we done to Ian McShane?

What have we done to Ian McShane? Oh, God, he's good. Look at it. 83. That face. That face he's doing. Who changed it? Let's look at the edit history.

That'd make for a really good episode of a podcast. McShane underscore I official. Yeah, he was real fuckable, wasn't he? My goodness. How do you specifically look at the edit history just for the photo? You never tried. Edit this out. Cut out around this.

You're a computery guy. Yeah, look at that picture in the chat, Lucy. Is that him as Julie? Judas Iscarriot? Maybe. Maybe I'm fucking Judas. Yeah. You're not meant to, but I'm going to do it.

Maybe I'm fucking Judas. Maybe I'm fucking Judas. Here we go. All right. On the 7th of November, 2020, a Celestine Denny made an edit with no comments, no description, changing the photo from Cunty Ian McShane to Ian McShane kind of awkwardly holding a microphone. I'll kill you. at a thing.

Making the world less joyful? A dark place. A beautiful. A darker place. Celestine Deney, born September 17th, 2005, Zuma, is a hip-hop fanatic and performer with a mission to bring young artists, their albums, along with everything else surrounding Gen Z, popular culture to Wikipedia. I try to be as neutral as possible in creating articles on people who I admire and try to

write about recognized subjects with whom I maintain a neutral view in order to provide encyclopedic content. modern musicians, influences and other Gen Z icons with notoriety often go undocumented because lack of a young newsbase. All right, I see what this is. Why would you do this? You sabotaging millennial icons. Yes.

In the pursuit of promoting your Gen Z goals. That's exactly what's happening. Neutrality. Unbelievable. That's not just disgusting. You want to hear something disgusting? Yeah. She's from Montreal.

yuck yeah well that was a good quick devotion there's a huge gulf between maybe maybe more so than for any other kind of person

there's a huge gulf between the respect I feel for the for the wiki editors of the world out there maintaining our knowledge our Tower of Babylon you know versus like do I respect them as people

Tower of Babylon you're going to let him get away with it I'm going to let him go. Let it go. We've got to move on from Wikipedia. Well, I mean, I think we probably all have different words for it. Yep. That's funny.

That's pretty good. Thank you. Thank you. Yes. Such a biblical episode. Can I give me the list of articles that Celestine Deney intends to create? Please. 645 AR.

Slimacetow. Warhol. dot SS 600 Breezy Cuban doll Anthony Padilla Little Popper Youngie N'Ean Ace and Xavier Wolf

Slimed? Who got slimeed? Slimicito. Gensi names We just made up. Slimacito. Is that Slimer doing a parody of Despacito?

I think that's what it is, yeah. Oh my gosh. Probably. You know how Genzi's love to reference Slimer from Ghostbusters singing Despacito? Oh man.

I was thinking about Desposito, yes there, because I was listening to an episode of, oh yeah, dude, and they were talking about, like, the most viewed songs of all time on YouTube, like most played ones. Like, one of the top ones, right? Vogue songs? Well, listen to, watched. Yeah.

I don't know, whatever. Gangnam style's got to be right up there, right? Number one, with a phenomenal bullet by, like, a considerable margin, is the fucking, I'll see you again, Paul Walker song from Furious 7. You know the word? No. I feel like I know this because it came up at a trivia night and it's just like it's an insane answer.

Like what? What do you mean? People fucking love that song. There is a type of person out there who if you mentioned Paul Walker to them, they would have to take a break. They'd be like, oh, just give you a second. Yeah. Thinking about Paul Walker again.

It's just hitting me all over again. It's fresh. You wouldn't be alone tonight. Hey, he's still driving down that road, but a different road. We split at the fork and then the song starts playing. That song goes kind of hard, though. Does it? Yeah.

He's still driving, like, he is still driving on that road, but the car is on fire and he's a skeleton now. That's all. It's kind of a fastball song. He is, he is kind of ghost ridering down that highway. Oh, yeah. That's what the song should be about. He's so bad right now. I should do a sequel, a sequel song where he's ghost rider.

He's still driving down that highway. And are they in Mexico or something when they part ways at the end of? How about fast and furious ghost rider? a crossover. Yes, ghost in the photos. Yeah. Oh, boy. Was there a story?

Did we have a celebrity watch story? What do you mean? We were talking about the weird photo of Joel Edgerton. A photo of damp Joel Edgerton. We were talking about the thing we spoke about in the green room before the show. Yeah, which is Joel Edgson looks weird in one of the photos in his Wikipedia article. What the fuck do you want from me? About halfway through the episode.

Okay. It couldn't be clearer. It won't be once we edit out. Once he takes 10 minutes of looking for something on Wikipedia out. I had the human binary search operator. Thanks, T-Bird. It's time for you report and we decide. You decide that's what we usually do.

But sometimes we find out that something happened to you. Maybe you were posted up on the corner and you saw it with the guys. Whatever it is, just let us know. You report and we decide. Oh, oh, oh. Mailbag at Botavester.com, yeah. You report and we decide. All right, I'm sorry for this.

I'm off the rails again. I'm looking at the Wikipedia article for See You Again, with Gleifah featuring Charlie Puth, whoever the fuck that is. Oh, he sucks. He's a guy that sucks. Charlie, what do you do? The pussy man.

Charlie Puth? He just sucks. Like, BigTar, everything about him kind of sucks. Got a bad aura. The way I kind of got into his suckdom was, um, I saw a video about like, he does like music courses online for lots of money that are very bad. Oh, I didn't know that. And then he, so this, this lady did a review of like she paid for it and reviewed it and it sucks.

And then he sold the same thing again, claiming that it was like now AI enhanced or whatever, but it's just the same shit again. Except now AI listens to your songs and goes, oh, I love it when you did this. it reminds us of this Charlie Puth song, the playfulness in his lyrics, just like getting the AI to suck him off while the AI reviews. And she just made like complete atonal nonsense. And they're like, yes, I love it. The AI is just banging on this, you know. So he's a grifter.

And also it seems like his music sucks. Sounds dumb. Charlie Pooze. And his face is stupid, yeah. He's playing at the Entertainment Center in Brisbane in November 13th of anyone was interested in checking that out. Cool. I was having a look at the list of countries where it entered the Billboard charts but didn't hit number one.

So in nearly every country, number one in 2015 when it was released. It only got to number two in Belgium, but it got to number one in the ultra top 50 Flanders, but number two in the ultra top 50, Wallonia. Don't know what happened over there in Wallonia. Interesting. I only got to number 38 in Brazil. I only got to number two in the Czech Republic. They got to number two in France, got to number four in Hungary, number seven in Japan, only number three in the Netherlands.

In like Eastern Europe there. It seems to be following kind of a pattern of the Buntavista countries. It only got to number four in Poland, interestingly. So do you think we could chart some kind of, we could map out like levels of grief for Paul Walker. See if they hit on any layline. or anything. Brazil mourned Paul Walker the least. The least, yeah.

They were like, fuck this guy. Yeah, I want to know which country is like, I'm out on this thing. It's good, actually. Theo, I was just looking to see if Charlie Puth is queer so I could try and cancel you. No, I think he's straight, right. Jesus.

Since he's not gay, there are a lot of articles accusing him of queer baiting and gay baiting. And then we of course have this. Reddit post on R slash Charlie Puth is Charlie Puth bisexual? And there's a lot of people

weighing in. Let's see. I've always wondered if he was by because of his eyebrow line shaving. Perhaps that's natural and I'm reading way too much into it. Is that a bisexual thing? Like a little line in your eyebrow?

Am I out of touch? I know a lot of bisexuals with the eyebrow line. Actually, yeah, now that I think about it. Apple Pie 4562 replies, I'm not sure what an eyebrow shaving has to do with being by lull. By the way, he's had that since he was a kid. It's from a dog bite.

Personally, there were many reasons I thought he was by. For one thing, he gives off the vibe of by slash gay. It's hard to explain. It's not really. Yeah, I'm looking at a photo with him, no shirt and a leather vest on. Yeah. I think he's probably trying to do that.

I don't know. Fingless gloves, because that might just mean he's a magician. Well, this person says he bends his wrist funny, he wears nail polish. Lastly, he's been giving off a lot of clues in his Instagram and TikTok lately, like a picture of him sucking a banana. Cool.

Okay. Growing up, Puth was bullied at school. He said they would team up against me so bad and they would kick me in a place that wouldn't feel fantastic and I would need to throw up and then they would say I was pretending to throw up. About time for some Charlie Puth by

investigating. God. Yeah, let's just do that for the rest of the episode. This is something I forgot to mention that I found out a couple of weeks ago, actually. Just speaking of Charlie Puth coming to Brisbane Entertainment Center in Boodle, November 13th for this year. Friend of the show, Jose Carreras, is coming to Brisbane in like the next couple of months. Oh, sorry, you wouldn't know who he is. He's the third tenor. The third tenor.

Oh, shit. Just Jose Carreras? Just Jose Carreras. Okay. I think somebody's a third tenor. about this podcast. Ben, you're on to something.

It makes stuff happen. It makes stuff happen. You know, when they say, like, people have their finger on the pulse. I think you've got your, your fingers,

like, wound around some sort of thread, maybe that is secretly woven through reality. Maybe we can manifest anything we want. I think this podcast might be the lathe of heaven, I think maybe, and that we're turning it on, we're turning the universe on this podcast.

Perhaps. Imagine, imagine the power. of four copies of the secret being read simultaneously. Oh my God, I saw so many fucking copies of the secret at Lifeline Bookfest yesterday. At the convention center, hey, I'm mentioning all of the big venues in Brisbane. Well, once you've read it, you don't need to keep reading it.

You need to put it in practice, right? It is pretty straightforward. No. Like, it's just kind of have the vision board, keep your thoughts positive. Yeah. Things of that nature. Jose, Chris, please come to Brisbane.

It's empty. Maybe we can get one of this to the listeners to obtain copies of the secret and then we can try a coordinated manifestase. Concentrate. We could try our own kind of astral egg situation. Yeah, son's egg, son's oof. Yep. Eggless.

This comes to us from Lister Hamish. Hi, team. Oh, that's new. Hey. Yeah, I'm not. I don't know if I like that. Yeah, that's a little too like teams message or whatever start of a Thursday morning.

I've got gang. What are we doing on our team's messages? I'm going like the higher. I'm a big higher person. H-I-Y-A? Yeah. Higher? You're a higher guy?

Yeah. I don't use teams because I don't live like that. Yeah. I mean, it's not, if you can call this living. Oh. Yeah. Hi, team. Nearly 40.

Just heard the discussion about microwaveing your underwear to make it nice and warm in episode 458 while driving in the car. Okay. Now, can I draw your attention to something here? We're currently recording episode 452. I specifically don't remember... I mean, I'm sure maybe we did it, but I don't remember talk about microwaving your underwear. But I feel like this is the second mailbag thing we've done on microwaveing your underwear.

You don't remember the first one. No, no, I think Ben brought it up because of this email. And everybody was like, That sounds like something Andrew would do. Yeah. Yeah. But maybe if you guys don't remember the first one, and this is from 458.

Is this, are we going to? I mean, we are now. Is this an email from the future? He has manifested us speaking about the microwave underwear by sending this energy out into the universe. If you're from the future, tell us when 9-11 is going to happen. Many lives depend on this. Just in case we get a time machine, tell us, and then we'll go back and stop it when we know where it's from.

I think it happens on 9-11, dude. No, I think it's the 11th of the 9th, actually. Yeah. Just heard the discussion about microwaveing your underwear to make it nice warm in episode 4158 while the car. My partner thought I should fill you in a relevant case from the hospital she works at. Oh, very promising start to an email. Okay. Love that.

Yeah. This email that you sent us from, what's six weeks from now? mid to late August. Maybe we, maybe it's our role to warn the person who's going to accidentally like stick melted nylon onto their genitals, you know? Yeah. Maybe this is what's happening. It's coming back to us and we're going to change the future.

What's that movie that's like a romantic drama and the twist at the end is that he's in one of the towers? A butterfly effect. No. No, I know what you're talking about. It's like, Robert Pattinson. Yeah. So he's in what?

Yeah, so it's a romantic, romantic, yeah, what Ben said. It's a romantic drama. Remember me. Yeah, and the very last shot is like zooming out, and he's in the way world trades in there. There's a plane coming his way. Dealing with personal grief and abutting romance in New York City only for the final scene to reveal that the story has been leading up to September 11, 2001. It's shit. That's not Adam Sandler in that for some reason?

No, I'm thinking it rain over me. man this is amazing Caroline arrives at her classroom where the teacher writes the dates as Tuesday September 11th 2001 fuck that Tyler looks out the window of his father's office which is revealed to be located on the north edge of the 101st floor in the north tower of the world trade center fuck dude why'd you put that in your movie before

does it add poignancy if there's no time travel element don't bother including 9-11 what a twist yeah what a twist what a twist A gentleman in his late 20s decided that rather than waiting for his underwear to go through the dryer,

he'd chuck it in the microwave for a couple of minutes to speed up the process. You don't want to do it while it's all wet. No. Lord no. Yeah. Weren't we talking... Are we doing this whole thing in reverse? Are we remembering the future?

Are we like Merlin in T.H. White's the once in future king? I haven't seen it. Are our hello's fond goodbyes? Are our goodbyes, merely hellos? Are we mementoing? I don't know.

Are we here? Yeah, we are all Memento. We're Mr Memento. We're Mr Memento. Or so was it released in the Spanish market's Signor Memento. How are you?

Senor Momento. Are we just tired today? What's going on? No, No, Reckordar. Apparently, underwear also suffers

from the warm bowl cold food problem. Okay. You'll know about the warm bowl cold food problem? All right. I mean, we'll do. So if the underpants are the bowl. What are we eating? I don't think he should be doing that.

Just don't call me late for dinner. Only after getting the underwear most of the way on, did he discover that the internal fabric had melted and partially fused onto his skin? Yeah, no good. No good, brother. Oh, you've got to be doing this with cotton. You can't be doing it with polyester. Same thing with like, you're not allowed to wear polyester in like high voltage transmission stations.

Well, I mean, same reason. Good luck buying. Good luck buying any kind of underwear that doesn't have any like. So sort of, what do you want to? Elastic. Elastic. Worked into it. Booty.

Yeah. No, booty probably. elastic We all do. We love booty's products and they're made purely from cotton

maybe, I don't know. I don't think so. There's no way. There wouldn't be a modern undergarment that doesn't have some sort of made from coal.

There's got to be elastic on the band and stuff. At the very least, I'm not tying a little drawstring on my underpants looking like a fucking damn prospector. I think you are.

It depends on the ones that I'm wearing. Looking like you're wearing old-timey underwear with dick holes in the front all-time, you know, old-timey pajama pants. Yeah, that's good.

Let me just get fished this out of here. Let's do it Mormonly. Why are guys never wearing those little love heart panties, the little white ones with the love hearts? I think you're talking to the wrong guys. Yeah, why am I never seen those? Am I dating the wrong guys? I've seen a man wearing those for real.

I don't think it was a joke. I've seen some things, okay. Yeah. Fortitude Valley Station. I would love some of them for the record. Fortunately, he realized this was happening about four inches before the underwear reached his crotch and only has to deal with a conversation starter skin graft on his inner thigh. Do not recommend Hamish.

Just having to explain what you did at the emergency room when you've done something stupid must be mortifying. Well, I was listening to an Australian podcast. They mentioned. Hey, underwear, that's kind of intimate. But we talk about intimate stuff in paging Dr. Lucy. If you find that you are having a little relationship trouble, pick up your telephone and dial it on the double. You call 1-800-317515.

Now you're paging Dr. Lucy. This is from R-slash-swingers. What's your playlist called? Oh, God. Yeah. Super Jams, 99. Quick sidebar. Sexy tunes with a Z.

While I was looking for this, I saw someone talking about going to a swingler event. Swinglers. Swingler. And I was like, man, that's... Fucking the hamburgler? What are we doing there? I was like, that's a fun typo for something. But I think it was like a swingers mingling event for meeting other...

Swinglers? Yeah. A swingle would make more sense. Swingle and ready to mingle. I'm going to mingle. swingle and ready to swingle. I'm mingled and I'm ready to swingle. I am swingling.

I'm swingling over here. Not counting the music, not counting the music and the LS clubs. When you're in a more private event like a hotel or a house, do you have a music playlist? What's it called? Lovely sex clubs? Lifestyle, the lifestyle. Oh, the LS.

Should be lovely sex. Lifestyle. Yes, please. Nice sex. How was that? Oh, it was lovely. It was very nice.

It was just exactly what I needed. So lovely. You sent half of yours back, honey. No, it was, you never tell them it was bad. Because you don't tell the service that sex was bad. It was great.

I'm just very full. Yeah. I've come! I've had enough. No, like, I fucked at like four o'clock this afternoon. I don't know why. I knew I was coming out the fuck a bunch this evening. And I just,

I just totally spaced. It turns out my eyes were bigger than my cummy. What? My cock was bigger than my tummy. I guess, but like, yeah, okay. When it's just have our playlist is called Sex Mix. So that's Sex Mix spelled S3X M-I-X. S-3X.

So no letter E in there? No, it's E-less. Yeah. It's a bold assumption to make. And also it makes me think of checks mix. Makes me think of skits mix. Which clearly isn't what they weren't going for checks mix. I don't think it is out there fucking to skitsmix.

That's fucking... There's a certain kind of guy that is for sure. Not for very long if you keep it up with that tempo, my right, fellas? It was already on. This CD was already at track two. I can't find the remote under this ultraviolet light. Sorry, babe. It's just that this is a no skips album, you know.

Yeah, all skits, no skips. Fuck. What's this year's skits mix theme? We probably should have done that at like the start of the year. Oh, shit. Are we falling behind on the skits update? Well, well behind. There was two in 2020, one in 2021, and then one in 2024 and then nothing since.

Hardest working man in the industry. Fuck. Skits mix is over if you want it. It was skitsless. Well, no, 61 is out. They just haven't updated the Wikipedia articles. Shit, okay. 61 is the most recent one, and that was released this year.

And we're looking at a sort of a demonic kind of lion-looking figure for this year. Interesting. Okay. The songs on here. Holy, oh, my God. Jesus Christ. Some of the songs on here. Where We Were Young, Brackets the Logical Song.

J.C.V.K. Remix Edit by Digital Sexy. We're bringing back dance remixes of the logical song. Cool, I guess. We had dance mixes of the logical song by Super Tramp. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You've never heard that? Oh my God, that's fucking huge. I guess it's like the dance mixes that they were making of rumors and stuff, right?

Oh, yeah. No, I was just thinking about how, like, to me, that is the most artistically bereft style of remix is the take a classic song and then just put like a four to the floor beat phase some stuff that's the only genre of music that Tom and Demi listen to

people that were at our Sydney live show may well remember God I forgot and not a hint of irony not a souson of there is no detachment or distance they're just having the time

of their fucking life but breakfast in America Great album. Great album. I got that on vinyl out there. I got that on vinyl, too. It's a classic on vinyl. I got from my dad.

It's a great album to get from your dad. I think I also got rumors. Here we go. The answers to the question that we asked roughly 10 minutes ago. Fuck. PLS, Pineapple lifestyle.

It's discreet. And it doubles as wordplay for please. Please. Place. I made your, Pooze. Pretty lovely six. Pretty lovely sex, yeah

Isn't that nice? Isn't that nice? Pound Town. Man, that is not a sexy. You are not a sexy person. Your Spotify playlists are also like usually public, right? Unless you go out of your way to make them private. It's like opting out of.

Yeah, but I think also their habits are also public if you've ever been on like Instagram. They like it to be quite public, don't they? Imagine you just finished having sex with a dude and he stood up and went over and then picked up his iPod shuffle and said, oh, the Poundtown Playmix. The Poundown Playmix.

Does it every time. You've just been taken to Poundtown. He says, showing you the screen. It's not an iPod shuffle anymore for the purpose of this. I'd start like saying my service number like I was a P. P.O.W. Not saying fucking anything else. Business time.

Oh, like. Flight of the Concord. The joke song they made. Yeah. You are not serious people. So much worse. Yeah. How about freaky fun?

Now this one is six hours of good sex music. None of that classic rock shit. What is good? What's good? Classic rock. Would it traditionally be classic rock? I don't want any music. No music.

You won't get what you want by your orders. Too distracting. Wow. That's interesting. Oversimulated, I guess. I once takes to be dignified. So all of mine are, all of mine

Simon and Garfunkel protest songs. Keeping it really stoic in there, you know? A lot of the playlists that I've like seen on these subredits, it is all like classic rock shit. It's like kiss or like venom or whatever. Like, it's embarrassing.

Getting fucked to Ted Nugent in 2026. Venom? Scorpions? Fuck. What's next? Oh, and that's bad. That's wrong? Okay, Ben, time to have your powerful gaze turned upon yourself. What would you name a playlist of music that you like to have sex to?

It would be called play. And then there'd be like a little winky face. Yeah. I mean, I'm like any regular person. I think the sexiest music of the world is late 90's early 2000s strip-op. Oh, it's dark. Ooh, it's mysterious. Yeah, okay.

Oh, it's little things. Erotically doing it to Portishead. Yeah, I mean, Porter's had a little on the more downer side of things, but I tell you what, that first sneaker pimps album, barely making it track full. Wow. Ben's visibly erect right now, folks. We're all such different people. Who's putting music on? My friends would, when they would have sex at my house.

Because you were living in a sharehouse. Because I was living in a sharehouse. We'd put on the suburbs by Arcade Fire. Fuck, man. And he reckons he would get to Rococo. Oh, come on now. Hello, Andrew, if you're listening to this. Love you, buddy.

Sexy time. No. Simple, I guess. Yeah, quite simple. Fun. For sexy times. Fun? Yep.

Erotic. It's the most dignified one I've heard so far. Jack Aaron. I like erotic. I hope that they're filing them all by mood. They have like playful, vibrant, erotic.

Bountiful. The fire one is someone who has declined to name a playlist because instead they have said, I put porn on the TV. Nice. Go your own way, brother. Hey, like that.

Should we like that? Now that's interesting what they're doing over there. I'd like to try some of what they're having. Sex! I think really, really in a prime sex party entertaining scenario, you have porno going on all the TVs, but the sound is off and you've curated the soundtrack. Correct.

I think that's the pro moves, right? But you've got the subtitles on so you can still follow the action. Accidentally getting too invested on the couch. Hold on, just hold on a second. I want to see where this goes. Oh, there it goes. On her chest. It's crazy.

She just got to our planet too, and she's adapted so quickly. Actually, I think these ones are on Pandora, I'm pretty sure. It's not our planet. It doesn't matter. Hey, music, it's pretty subjective. Some people's sex music might be what another person listens to while driving a truck. We talk about truckers in Trucker Watch. This comes to us from W-A-N-E in Fort Wayne, Indiana.

The Way. Troopers find fake urine and pot after trucker refuses to pay toll. To the crime to have your friends piss in your truck? Fake urine. Fake urine. Presumably to pass some kind of drug test. Drug screening tests. Oh, I thought it was like some sort of protest at the hours they were working.

Like when Robert Downey Jr. would piss in bottles in the corner of the set while he was working Zodiac because of how hard they were doing like 14 hour days or whatever. Because of David Fincher's takes. of Mr. Fincher. Yeah. I'd heard about this, but now that I'm doing it, I don't like it. I don't much care for his perfectionist attitude, despite the results in the movies. The cops asking me if the bottle of...

But it's not that situation. The cops asking me if the big bottle of piss is for passing a urine test and agreeing way too quickly. Yes. That better be real piss. Yeah, that's what it's for. Let me sniff that piss, son.

It better be real. I can tell. If you got any piss in your squad car, you need me to take away or anything. I can do that. That's fine. I'm already getting rid of this bottle of piss, so whatever you guys have got,

take it off your hands. A trucker from Texas is facing multiple charges after police found fake urine and marijuana in the cap of her truck Tuesday. Oh, Louisiana top road in Porter County. Our lady, Trump. Once again, you've challenged all of our notions, Ben. Yeah.

How many times can we be challenged before we... Revolved? Realize. I would never stop thinking truckers as men. Stop challenging me. Not enough going on in my life. Indiana State Police were called to the Portage Barrier Toll Plaza at a call that a truck driver had refused to pay the toll.

While being questioned, the trucker lied about her identity and when a trooper tried to arrest her, she resisted. After several other troopers arrived at the scene, the trucker identified as Shalaya Martin, 38 of Houston, was taken into custody. During a search of her truck, Trip has found the fake urine and marijuana. She received a ticket for an unpaid toll and faces charges of false informing, resisting law enforcement. Possession of synthetic urine and possession of marijuana. Sorry, there's a crime for possession of synthetic urine.

Possession of the contraband substance. The contraband synthetic urine. And they're telling us, this is the land of the free. Yeah, you can't even Sin the Sun piss analogs. If I had a big gallon jug of real piss in my truck, that would be fine, is what I'm here. Yeah, it would be encouraged.

The cop having a little taste? Oh, that's good. You're clean. That's good old fashion. Drink a little more water. Oh, this is illegal in Alabama. Specifically. This is an Alabama crime.

I mean, this is a big case to pass your place. But this happened in Indiana, though. Oh. I'm seeing mostly about it. It must be in a couple of states. It's like a specific thing. Yeah, but I mean, if you traffic fake piss across state lines, it becomes a federal offense.

Federal piss offense. Yeah. Also, if you're doing the, if you're doing the synthetic piss run, you've got to pay the toll. That's just the price of doing business on the synthetic piss road. I'm right there with you.

Like, this seems like you could have avoided the whole situation by paying the toll and they wouldn't have looked at your synthetic piss. And your weed. Yeah. You're real weird and fake piss. Your piss would have gone. molested.

My piss fake. Don't molest my piss. Real piss for my sham friends. Yeah. Hands off my piss. I'm a kind of, I don't know if I was like hopelessly naive about the sort of the underground piss economy. We're synthesizing urine.

We're not just using clean, clean piss from like a person, like a, a, Like a T-trailer that you know, like a straight edge. Yeah, like sell your piss. Sell your piss. I think the business impetus here is probably that it's far harder to get clean piss on demand all the time. Like if you suddenly find yourself in need of some clean piss where I was like maybe. And you guys like going up to the bottle going like, no, I got it. I got something.

I'm pretty sure it's a. I'm going to tell. If someone walked up to me on the street and said 100 bucks, can I have your piss? Oh, no. It's yours, brother. that out to the world. Tell people who listen to this podcast. And here are Lucy's daily movements.

Also, also just put the price up. Put the price up. Put the price up. Say if a podcast listener said to me $1,000 a bottle of your peers. Yeah.

You know. No, if it's higher, you know they're freaks. If they're paying a thousand bucks for a bottle of piss. They're doing it for nasty reasons. They're doing it for nasty reasons. If you want to do it just past a job. If they're not wholesome.

If they're a freak and they're cheap. Not wholesome reasons. No cheap freaks, 2026. Like, if you want to use my piss to get around a drug test, that's a practice is old. That's your business. It's part of my business. What you do with the piss?

After it leaves my line of sight, it's no longer my business. Oh, that is my business. I'm only doing it for one purpose. Well, don't leave my piss at the scene of a crime. It's partially my business what you do with my piss. Yeah. If you use it to pass a piss test, it's becoming the scene of a crime. Yeah.

But, oh, oh, yeah. Fuck, that's a good point. But don't, okay, you can use it.

I maybe want to have like a end user agreement for my piss of like you can only use this for passing drug screens don't deposit at the scene

of like a murder. You're going to get everyone to sign an NPA is saying. Non-pisclosure agreement? Yeah. Sure. Like,

you're clearly identifying those things they're not to be doing with the piss. Yes. You can drink it Yeah You can drink it

That's fine It's fine I'll bring you a glass It's nice It's a thousand dollars If you want to drink it Yeah Hey you want to drink my piss

That's gotta cost you one gee Hey don't drink my piss And tell me it's raining You know I'm drinking my piss right now Yeah Getting a text message Oh you're having a drink of my piss

This is delicious Oh just out of rating You're like misremembering The Piss You're drinking my piss right now? You're taking my piss? You're taking some of my piss of me? You're taking some of my piss right now?

I wonder if it's easier to sell synthetic piss at like a cap end. I wonder if it's easier to do like a synthetic piss at the vape store than it is to have an Uber-style service where you hit someone in an app and say, I'm going to need some clean piss stat. Yeah. And they come over, you know? Clean piss in 15 minutes. Yeah. You piss clean or your money back. This is from Aegis Sciences Corporation.

Awesome. Love that name. Great name. Very hard to be sci-fi. Up to some shit. Like file fantasy villain company or something. Yes. But it's about the environment.

Synthetic urine, also known as fake urine, is one mechanism of substitution. And is typically manufactured to include creatinine, specific gravity, physiological pH levels, or other specimen validity. parameters in the samples. Synthetic urine products have a similar color, density, and temperature, making them a common method to substitute urine tests. Common ingredients in synthetic urine may include uric acid, sodium and potassium chloride, urea, phosphorus sodium, purified or distilled water, and creatinine. Many of the products come with instructions, a heating pad and temperature indicators, and are available in powder and liquid formulations. You get powdered synthetic piss?

Do you just add water? Yeah, you just got a piss on it to... Just add urine. Do not mix them up with your sachets of hydrolite that you keep in the same cupboard. I'm looking at the rates here of not expected biodect results by state. And I think this would be pretty interesting data if I knew which states will which in America just by looking at a map. Whatever the big square one to the right of Idaho is, oh boy, they're a big offender. Wow. This was almost definitely an episode of the podcast, Porta Vista.

Possibly maybe 55 minutes long by the time we get down to it. But we'll see. Thank you so, so much for listening. If you want more of this podcast, you can get that at patreon.com slash point of vista. We put out an extra episode every week. And there have been some crucial things happening in the bonus fee. Some crucial war going on.

Yeah. go back and explore. If you already subscribe, thank you. If you don't already subscribe and you don't want to, fair enough. Yeah. Fair enough. If we've already subscribed, have you thought about opening a second email address on Gmail and subscribing again?

Or gifting it to all your friends. They might not want it, but it doesn't matter. Sometimes the gift of giving is like it's in the act of giving itself. Yes. By the years pass. Opening a Patreon account. And then they can kind of like build up enjoyment. Yes.

Yeah. I listen to a bit, they get into it. Yes. Give it to them. And then the next time you have family dinner, watch them go, oh, I listen to that bonted, well, I didn't, I have to say, I found it a bit rude. I didn't understand a lot of it, a lot of the jokes.

A lot of stuff about me without you. Not really, I'm not really sure. Wasn't funny? People seemed mean. Weird. To each other and to me. to their listeners, to everyone around them. Thank you so, so much for joining us.

We will talk to you hopefully on the bonus episode. Until then, please. I urge you to stay safe out there. Bye. Bye, man. Bye, right.