Boonta Vista - EPISODE 454: Bulldogging My Periscope In My Charlie Chaplin Bathers

Episode Date: July 18, 2026

Lucy, Theo, Andrew, and Ben bring you: Beaver terror at Turtle Island, a Big Boy update, no-clipping out of the room at an inopportune time, Swimply comes to Cranston, teens with energy weapons, and the periscope. *** Outro: O Sol - People Taking Pictures *** Support our show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista *** Email the show at [e-mail]! Call in and leave us a question or a message on 1800-317-515 to be answered on the show! *** Website: boontavista.com Twitch: twitch.tv/boontavista

You started reading a book. It's a dinner. My hyperfixation right now is finishing the hobbit. I can't stop thinking about finishing the hobbit. Oh, there it is. Very short book. Yeah. Hello and welcome to Buen de Vista.

Episode 500, no, 4754. Jesus. I'm Ben and welcome to talking mouth. It's just sort of a loosey-goosey talking shit with your pals kind of podcast. You know, we just chop it up, talk about random shit, but we are French. With me is Lucy. Lucy, have you noticed that Arc de Triorff is chopped now? It's washed.

I went there last week, and I was like, sure, this shit sucks now. This is not good. What's a French word for yes? Oh, my God. Lucy's kind of like a woman of the world. Give me a French word for you say. What would Pepele Lapeu say? What would Pepe Lebucee?

I'm sexually assaulting you. I'm a pervert. I actually can't do the French accent, so I'm not going to do it. It's going to be bad. Oh, come on. You can. Give it a job. No, it's, I really can't.

I really, it's a one I can't do it. I think we stay here until Lucy remembers the French word for yes. That's, you got it. None. Yep. It's not C. It's not C. It isn't.

It's not C. It's not C. It's not reflecting I just can't believe it I genuinely can't believe it I can't It's something we call Choke paralysis

Something weird is going on I don't know Can you always said it just then You almost said it just then Can we start again? Can we start again? Something weird is happening Weird?

Weird? Yeah Fuck me Well That was a wonderful episode of Pondevista Clearly we're all not in the mood I actually just wanted to cuddle tonight

Can we dump it? Can we dump it? Can we dump it? Dear, have you noticed that croissons? What, they are not as good as they were what we were younger? No, let me try this again. Zouves don't like croissons now. Zutolos.

Tresom? In my hotel room? Tresel. Whips? Treson. Le treason. Treson. Bons tresson.

Treson. Awesome. So new citrons. It's that chugie? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Bonsoir, mon ami.

Bonovo. Let's it run dog sheet. Yeah, yeah. It doesn't even look fucking stupid anymore. It used to be a big middle finger to the world. They made citrons that don't look stupid. I don't know. I'm guessing.

I'm guessing. I mean, I think it kind of look like like cars, I guess, like regular cars. Yeah, they're not mental. look like that. They meant to look like a kid drew a car, like a make a wish kid drew a car and then you made it for him. That's what the Citron's meant to look like. Like every Citron should look like a car that Miyazaki would have lovingly drawn a guy sticking his head out the window of. And now it's just like a regular car. Kind of like how we lost our beautiful sort of local car, the Ute, like the normal sized

you, that's gone. Because they've made the American ones, right? Because we're doing the American ones now. The French had their beautiful tiny little like joke cars for their tiny little alleyways and stuff for their Italian job type shit that they were doing. Yeah. Ironically. Do an Italian jobs type shit? Probably down in, probably down in Nice or something close to the border. Somewhere close to the border, absolutely. And now it seems like they're just doing normal size cars. That's kind of disappointing, actually. They like that. Yeah. Yeah. What the fuck is that that that you just posted a photo of the chat? It's just the first Citrion I found.

Is that a smart car? No, there's a Citroon. Look at the fucking, look at the badge at the front. Is it an EV? I mean, it's pretty smart to me. Is it? Yeah. Not really anymore, I think.

But you wouldn't say smart car. I think that's something we would have said like 10 years ago. Is it not like smartphone? Smart phone, smart car. Smart don't know anymore. Smart phones, I guess. They're all smart TVs. Are you implying that smart cars existed?

Like, not the brand, but like, like in general that the concept of like a car that's small with two doors was just called a smart car. Didn't we use that as like a Kleenex type? No. General kind of wow. No. It's because it's smart on the front and back.

It seems like everybody sounds stupid today. I think everybody sounds stupid today. It's so crazy. Except Theo, it's sounding sharp as fuck. Yeah. Why do I sound stupid? Just the tone of your voice. Fucking dogs.

Yeah, they sound needy too. stupid and needy. I don't know. I could figure out the French word for yes. I'm directing my pain outwards, okay? That's... Because you have like a job for the first time in years and you're dying as a result of it. And I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad.

Mad as hell. She's not going to take it anymore except for when she's at work. Because I pay me money. Yeah, she just sort of sit there and be like, it's okay. I don't need to access my computer or whatever. Yeah. I think guys suck. Yeah. Actually, No, no, no, the IT guys don't suck.

It's the systems that suck. They're just trying to live within the systems that suck, right? And the IT guys actually have probably, like, they probably got, like, some pretty cool hobbies outside of work as well that they could tell you about. Yeah, maybe next time I'm online with the IT guy, I'll be like, what are you doing this weekend? He'll probably tell you something really cool.

Yeah. Well, you'll probably tell you that he went to the Abbey medieval fair last weekend, probably. He was like, yeah, I was sort of Carolingian, was kind of the thing I was going for. Yeah, totally. I saw that our Supernova Expo is happening this year, and Sean Aston is going to be in Brisbane. Oh, no, fuck.

How mean, jean. Thinking of, like, just sending him a bunch of DMs, telling him to come to the bar. Yeah, yeah. You want to get your fucking dick full-on sucked, or do you want to have an icecraft beer? Yeah, if you're looking to get your dick full-on sucked, like, it's going to happen if you come to this bar, dude.

But also, like, there's a lot of nice beers. Not from me. Partway sucked, Sean Heston. And not from me, personally, but like someone. I was going to say a classic trick where you don't say who's going to be sucking the yeah. Yeah.

Hey, Ben. Yes. Uh, the smart car was a joint venture between the own, the makers of swatch and Mercedes Ben's. What? So the name smart is derived from swatch and Mercedes Ben's S.M. And then art at the end. That is, this is true. art. Is that true?

That is true. That's fucked up. A joint venture between SMH, the makers of Swatch brand of watches, and Daimler-Benz. So smart car is not related to like smartphone, smart TV. It's a whole other thing. It is. Yeah.

Stop saying that. I can't. Genuinely. Hey, some things are just kind of part of your nature. We talk about the natural world in Nature quarter. Take me home To the place I belong

To a river river Nature corner While the crap Snipped my dick From WPTZ in Vermont A man recovers after beaver attack While swimming in Lake George That'd be a short-dust

After a big just crunch by the hillsham Yeah. She's got to fuck you. Sorry. Sorry. Not me. Not me. He will get sucked off.

I'm not going to suck him or someone. He's going to rock up and be like, I was hoping someone would suck me off and you're going to politely decline. I'll be like, hey, I am the person who sent you all those DMs, but everyone he wants to suck you off to. I think he wants to suck you up.

I think he knows that there's a deep bench there at the scratch. A deep edge of people That really like the extended editions And a lot of the rings Yeah A Burlington man is recovering after he was attacked by a beaver While swimming in Lake George Brandon short sleeve was in the water with his brother and a friend

Beaver started attacking his friend Come on now Brandon short sleeve A short sleeve attacked by beavers It's just funny The short sleeve incident it. Quote, the first time my friend ended up picking it up, it swam back at him, so we were like,

okay, it's just out for blood, short sleeve said. Picking it up and then it swam back. What happened in between those two? We're picturing like an underhand toss, like a... Oh, hold that thought in your mind. Okay. They had just gotten into the water off Turtle Island on the 4th of July when it happened. Quote, we were in the water, I think, for maybe five minutes before my friend started

freaking out and screaming. He said something attacked him, said Short Sleeve. I just jumped in the water and I grabbed whatever it was attacking and pulled it out. It was a young beaver. Probably rabid, according to health experts. Short Sleevee said he had never seen a beaver behave like that before. And is it good to get bitten by a rabid one? I think it's fine.

No problem. Quote, I was a little freaked out. I didn't think it was a beaver at first. I just grabbed this little brown blob in the water. I saw its teeth and its tailed. I was like, okay, this is a beaver. right it ended up biting me a few times as I got it out of the water he said I bet that fucking hurts I've got to keep a good grip on this thing that I just tossed him

pretty far oh problem soul the beaver tosser I guess what are you gonna do a beaver's bite what are you gonna do you gotta hold it at arm's length indefinitely no you gotta like throw it like a distance I suppose some point you gotta toss that beaver you gotta toss that beaver yeah branded shorts sleeve Toss that beaver. Brandon short sleeve. Toss that beaver. Brandon Shortsleaf Tidal Island beaver tossing.

Shortsleaf said after the beaver swam off, he started getting people out of the water. Now that's fun. Guys like going around be like, get out of the water. There's a beaver in here. There's a beaver in here. Shut the fuck up, Brandon, short sleeve. How big is it big? I know he's rabid, but a beaver's not that big, right?

And this is a young beaver. It's a small beaver. I don't know. I never seen a beaver. You guys, you guys ever watch that alone show? Yeah. No.

Where they drop them out in the middle of nowhere. Yeah. I've seen some of the Australian one and they say, we're not allowed to kill any of the animals. But in the, in the ones where they drop them in like British Columbia. Oh. On for young and old?

There's all kinds of stuff, but I've seen them like catch and eat beavers. Oh. And like. Yeah. I don't know if there's good meat on that thing. Well, well, part of the reason that they all get really excited about catching and snarping down a beaver.

Yeah. Is because it's such a high fat content. Oh, it's kind of fishy, kind of fishy smelling fat. And then the guy, come on, come on. The guy spends all this time like catching one and killing it and he does it. And he's like, fuck yeah, I'm set for fucking months. so I can like harvest all this fat and everything

and he skins it and he's got the tail he's just got the tail by itself and he's doing all that and then he and then he eats some and then he spent the next like 72 hours going oh my fucking tummy until he has to phone him in to come and like helicopter him out because he's having

that happens to Michael Douglas super diaries I have actually heard that apparently they store like a lot of their winter fat sort of around the like the shoulders and chest area I think it's called the fatty upper beaver area yeah yeah

if you're in alone you would die for a foobah grow up actually full transparency I'm not even in here because there's fun double on tundras with beaver it's literally because the guy's day

is in short sleep I absolutely knew that that was that's it's not the beaver thing it's literally branded short Brandon Short Sleeve. Mr. Short Sleeve. I know as a band. Brandon Short Sleeve goes hard.

Why is that so funny? That can't be your name. That can't be your name. There's no synergy between like Brandon and short sleeve. Yeah. Short Sleeve is not an insult in itself at all. That's really funny. I don't know why Brandon Short Sleeve gets me so good.

How did you get that surname in the first place? Like, oh, so my father was a blacksmith. My father was like a sexual history. your ancestor or whatever. Yeah, like my dad wore shirts

around the village one size too small. And you tell me after we finish recording whether you want to keep that in. I think it was just

you had an ancestor that was like a tailor of ill repute. Everyone's like He's always stretched the sleeve too short.

I think you had an ancestor who cheated at cards. Oh. Forst. by the village. To wear short sleeves. Yeah.

Yeah. You can't trust this cunt. No long sleeves for this man. They lisped a lot back then. I think it's part of why the ligatures look like that. Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

It was short sleeve with a F for the... He's in the middle age just doing three card Monty. Just kill him. Now the New York State Department of Environmental Conservation is asking visitors to Turtle Island to be cautious. This is exactly like the plot of Jaws.

I was thinking this is the plot of Jaws if the mayor was right. Yeah, and if the shark was a beaver. I'm not close at the beach. It's just a beaver. It's just one rabid beaver. It's just one rabid beaver. Yeah.

Get two on camera. Maybe I'll consider it. Beavors are typically afraid of humans, but officials say one with rabies may lose that fear. quote, they're afraid of us. They don't want to interact with us. They're not particularly curious about us. A normal beaver, if you're boating along or kayaking along,

if a beaver sees you, they will slap the water with their giant tails and they'll swim away. I had this experience in uni. That beavers weren't particularly curious? They're afraid of me. Fuck me. Sorry. Sorry, I'm not doing a beaver joke, but I didn't realize that beavers were not particularly curious. That's...

They're kind of like... incurious. You're updating your folio of animal facts to be like beavers? Not particularly curious. Not particularly curious. That's interesting. You had previously filed beavers under curious animals. They were under curious animals.

They were under serious animals. Maybe she had made a call yet. We know that like the beautiful little otter, very curious creature. Otter is very curious. Very curious. Beavis incurious. I think that's quite interesting actually. Fatty and incurious. Fetty. That's what we know about them.

Chlorically rich, not very curious. He's still talking about Lucy's ex-wife. Quote, if you see a beaver approaching you, whether you're swimming or boating, that would be considered abnormal beaver behavior. Definitely a serious test. Oh, they're definitely putting me up to something. Look at this beaver coming out here. They're jamming me up. Someone check for cameras.

While beavers can get rabies from other animals, it's very rare for them to pass it along to the rest of the colony. Quote, beavers would typically be mostly a dead-end host. The virus isn't well adapted to that particular animal, the DEC Wildlife Health Programme leader Kevin Hines said, it may bite another beaver and give another beaver rabies, but in all likelihood, it probably wouldn't. Oh.

Okay. Because they got those cute little buck teeth. They're probably hard to bite with, right? I think, yeah, I assume just because they're kind of solitary animals once they've got their dam. Like, they probably just stick to their own dam and they don't probably like have a third space. You don't think beavers have a third space. I don't think that's kind of sad. I think beaver should have a third space.

Third spaces for beavers, yes. Do they filter dam armishly? Do they all get together in help or isn't one beaver doing it all? No, I think. I think they do it as a mating pair, don't they? Oh, in the pair. I thought it was like a tractor mate. They don't raise a dam like in witness?

They don't use any devices like the Amish as well. They do have that in covered with the Irish. No tool. Do beavers use tools? How are they building the day? Everything I know about beavers I learned from the movie hundreds of beavers. And I think they do have tool use. They are gregarious.

Oh, Lucy, you got to watch it. I've got to watch hundreds of beavers. It's so fucking good. It's so good. Is this a documentary? No, it's like a silent compliment. that was released like two years ago, three years ago, maybe. I feel like we've actually spoken about this before.

It's so fucking good. This has come up before. It's video game rules. The whole movie, they're teaching you the rules of the movie, and that they extrapolate the rules to surprise you with jokes and comedy. It's a comedy movie. All right. Have you heard of a comedy movie?

Of Beavis. Not really my thing, but I'll give it a shot. It's so good. Okay. Even after this ordeal, short sleeves just, It just sounds like an insult And I don't know why You fucking short sleeve

Get out of here Short sleeve says he's not afraid of the animal And recognizes how unusual this is Quote I was told that I have a better chance Of getting struck by lightning Than that ever happening again he said Can I talk some real shit with you?

Please do it I guess Is still the quote? This is still short sleep You know how we use Like you're more likely to be struck by lightning than blah blah blah as like a benchmark for telling you you shouldn't be worried about something I don't know how likely it is to be struck by lightning and I'm bad at probability maths

I've heard of lots of people struck by lightning I was going to say I feel like it's not as unlikely as the sort of saying implies right and I stand out outdoors wet all the time yeah they're like don't stand under a tree I'm yeah I'm always wet out there I'm in the middle of the field holding up a weather vein fellas short sleeve and his friends are doing okay they're going through the rabies shot cycle that Brandon Sanderson books are okay

oh you're a friend of short sleeves it would be nearly impossible for the DEC to trap a specific beaver but they are patrolling the area anyone who sees anything suspicious should call them two great sentences back to back it's impossible

nearly impossible for them to trap a specific beaver. Get better. Anybody sees anything suspicious should call the Department of Environment and Conservation? Well, it's like my grandpa always said. A nearly impossible to trap a specific beaver.

You can't trap a specific beaver. The beaver you want. Yeah. But if you're also, yeah, if you're out there on the hunt for it, you're not going to... Expand your criteria. Exactly. The beavers are going to... Look at yourself in mirror and think what's my criteria? Maybe I can own up a little bit.

Would a beaver want me to trap them? Yes. And then you let it all go. You kind of just be good in yourself, in your own mind, in your own body. And the next thing you know, you'll be tossing a beaver. Oh, come on. 30 to 40 feet.

I mean, this is, you know, you're saying that sort of as you're being facetious. Genuinely what happened to you, like the love of your life, approached you at a concert for a band you liked and now you're No, I approached her. That can't be right. That's not how I remember it.

No, I don't think that's true. I don't think that's true. There's no fucking way. You walked up to her and you were like, hey. Hey. Do you like? It wasn't Deerhoff. Who was it?

It was Deerhoff. Do you like Deerhoff? And she said, yeah. I'm at a Deerhoff concert. That's why I'm here. Yeah. That's why I'm here. Yeah, what did you say?

How'd you made eyes? I don't remember, actually. I think I probably just made. No. No. Yes, you can. I think I just made nice conversation. Were you standing next to each other at the barrier?

No. No. No, it was the high-fi. It was like two-thirds of the way back. I don't know what any of this means. You wouldn't know about the hi-fi. It's Max Watts now. Actually, I think Max Watts is closed as well.

Hold on. The hi-fi in Melbourne is now Max Watts. Was the hi-fi a brand? The hi-fi was a brand. What the fuck? Because the high-fi bar in Melbourne is now Max-Wats. It's a chain. Hey, get this.

I met Eleanor at the High-Fi Bar. in Melbourne. No way. We're at the high-fi bar? All kinds of people find love at the high-fi bar. That's fucking crazy. Also, Noel Fielding's brother who played Nabu, whose name I've forgotten, Mike Fielding, worked at the high-fi in Melbourne as well.

That came up recently. That came up recently? Yeah, we'll talk about it at the bar. We'll talk about at the bar. We're talking about the guy that played Naboo that worked at the high-fi bar. Yeah, that sounds right. That's kind of one of those things that I drop in most conversations that I have. This is good.

This is what people want to hear. Oh, a couple of people that are nearly dead Just sort of randomly thinking of stuff from their life Oh, the high-fi bar! Neurons firing off as they die Buntavistian reverie That's right Holy fuck. Some of this seems like stuff we should maybe dump.

We talk about stuff that probably isn't worth talking about in dump it. When the story ain't funny enough. Don't it when there ain't enough fun. funny stuff. Junk it. If you walk the show to be on and dumb, all that stuff. You guys remember back in episode 446, Choose Your Own Adventure, Airbnb, Fuckfest in Branson, Missouri,

we talked about the big boy, the train. Yes. One of the biggest something, there's a caveat, but it's one of the biggest something locomotives still operating in the world today. I've been getting a lot of big boy content in the Instagram DM. Yeah. Big boys, there's a lot of stuff happening around Big Boy. All right.

And a lot of it is majorly depressing, which is why it's in Dumpet. But we talked about it as this sort of like, this was a positive act, that it was a signal to the start of Big Boy Summer. There was a sense of euphoria, something very wholesome. Everyone's excited to see this big train. All right. So so far, I'm sure a lot of people have enjoyed seeing it. I know some of our listeners went to see it.

That's very fun. it's been in the news a bit there was like a it was described in the headlines as a mass casualty event no one died but there was just like a severe outbreak of heat stroke from people

that were waiting on like a super hot heat wavy kind of day to see it and someone went into cardiac arrest there was a lot of argument in those comments about the word casualty in a casualty doesn't mean death I thought it meant death Most people in the comments thought it meant death,

but apparently it doesn't mean that. Yeah, I wouldn't use it. I would use it exclusively for death, I think, if I was using that word, but it just means impacted by. But casualties of war doesn't mean like the dead. It means everyone. They shouldn't mix them all in.

I think if you get wounded, it doesn't count. I thought mass casualty event was dead bodies. It includes guys who got addicted to heroin in Vietnam, guys who got the clap in Paris. Yeah. Oh, we're just listening off here. house. In a Paris flop house, a boardy house.

There was another incident where, now, I've not looked this up because I remember it depressed me too much when I first heard about it, but either a person died because their dog got onto the tracks in front of Big Boy or the dog died. This kind of makes it Big Boy sound like an SCP. Yeah. Well, and then, as we saw, because I think it got posted at our group chat the other day, that guy broke his ass falling off the big boy. He broke his ass.

He broke his ass. He had a severe ass breakage. Yeah. From a Nebraska man. Oh, sorry, he fractured his spine. I might have minimized his pain somewhat by saying that he broke his ass. Editorialized. Oh, he broke his ass.

Yeah, he was climbing off a big boy and he... You got to hold on tight to a big boy. Got hold on tight to a big boy. You're up kind of high, you know. Bontevista life advice for you. You got a hold on tight to a big boy. Oh, if you're riding a big boy, you better hold on tight. And if you get one, don't let it go.

Yeah. Fuck me. Anyway, that's the topic. You'll break your ass. Oh, boy. It's time to turn to something much more cheery in an anecdote from our personal lives. Oh. In a segment that we like to call anecdotally wild.

Welcome to yet another totally wild episode. My mother's just zero base frequencies happening. Yeah, I think in the 90s we didn't think the kids could experience base. No, they could only hear the higher tones. Without, well, I just thought it would kind of destroy their growth, et cetera. As we learned when Dubstep arrives, it gets us all too jazzed up. It does go, them all too jazzed up. You're not going to sit down and learn about animals.

Now, I didn't realize I was supposed to be bringing an uplifting anecdote to this, but I do have one that's incredibly fraught with question will pay off. If that's okay. Oh, shit. You know how? Yeah, yeah, man. Sounds great. Yes, and.

Anything from my personal life that we could draw upon? You know how on this show I'm learning. We're all learning, but especially I love language. I love words. And I've learned a few new words doing this show recently. So, and something that a long-time listeners, will also understand is that I have had for a very long time a beautiful cat named Noam with me 17 years. And unfortunately for the last little while, Noem cat's been quite sick. And it's gotten to the

point that I had to make the phone call. I made the phone call to the service that comes around and crashes your cat with a big rock. This is how I process grief, by the way. They have other options as well, you know, so we're talking through those, you know, you know, is it going to be, you know, we kind of come around, we do this, we do that, you know, how is she with this sort of stuff, you know, what's the time, all this sort of boring logistical stuff you've got to do around, you know, caring for a loved one, et cetera. And we got, we worked through all of that. And then she said, and then in terms, what would you like us to do in terms of aftercare? and you

I sat there and my eyes slowly unfocused my vision sort of started to narrow to a point and my body phased through one of my bedroom walls I realize at this point

I probably have like quite a long time to answer because she's thinking that I am by grief, which I am also, but at the same time. I guess tell me that I did a good job. Just kind of like hold me a little bit of reassure me that, you know. Struck my hair maybe.

Tell me that I did a really good job. What she meant was how I wanted my cat to be cooked. Yeah, I think that word is gone. I think the word is, we need a new one. They should make those two words, two meanings. I mean, the word existed beforehand. It's been adopted. It's been adopted for a nefarious purpose.

Oh, aftercare is nefarious now. Yeah. It's bad. We shouldn't do it. We should both immediately get on our phones. Yeah. First things first. Roll over.

Get on your phone. My aftercare is actually I just need to watch some reels for a while. Yep. Break eye contact immediately and then reach over for your phone. Can you throw us upwards of tutish? I like to just sort of say, yeah, that was nice. And then roll over from my side and start apnoiring so bad. It sounds like I'm scared.

With his eyes still open. He's sitting up. To high five and put on an episode of Rick and Morty. We're doing one of the interdimensional TV ones. It's mostly improvised. That shit's crazy, dog. Oh, look, I mean, the menu music for the DVD to Future Armour. season three disc two has been playing this whole time.

Why don't we just hit play on this? I've heard him say, Kiff, get me my pants. No, he wouldn't say that. He doesn't wear pants. Oh my God, I think I've said exactly this on this podcast before. Jesus Christ. Oh, shit, sometimes we talk about stuff that we've spoken about before. We talk about that in the segment we call,

Oh, shit, it's an update to an old news story. Oh, shit, it's an update. Now, this is a follow-up to something that we talked about in episode three, 357 passive swim cum from WPRI. Short-term swimming pool rental app draws scrutiny in Cranston. We were talking about Swimply, right? Swimply in Cranston. Swimply, which is Swimply in Cranston.

Swimply and Swimply is where you kind of Airbnb out, just your pool. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Just for new people, just trying to be welcoming. I mean, if you haven't been listening since two years ago, I think this is all going to be pretty incomprehensible to you. A popular online service that lets homeowners rent out their swimming pools may sound like the perfect way for Rhode Islanders to beat the summer heat.

But one Cranston City Councilor is calling for an investigation claiming some of the rentals are operating illegally and disrupting neighborhoods. Swimple works in a similar format to vacation rental companies like Airbnb and Verbo. A swimper? What is? V-R-B-O? What's Ferbo? Also, I can't believe Swimply,

like, I feel like when we talked about it, we were like, this is fucking stupid. Yeah, this is over. Shows how much we know about business. Yeah, we don't have much acumen. It was originally an abbreviation. I think between us, not a lot of acumen. It was originally an abbreviation for vacation rentals by owner,

but since 2019, the company has been known as brubble. Verbal. Vacation rentals by own by owner? Not an Airbnb? Is it just another Airbnb? It's just another Airbnb. I think it might be a, it might be, it was founded in 1995. Oh no, wait, sorry, that's Expedia, which now owns Rural.

Oh, classic. Hosts an extra income while guests enjoy a private swim. This summer, Kimmy Kiberian Fowler has been using the platform to rent out her Arabic-style plunge pool that sits on three acres of land in Smithfield. I'm not. Arabic-style pleasure. Take it back. VRBO operating since 1995. That's fucking wild.

That's crazy. Craigs listing your home. Quote, for people to be able to use and enjoy this land, it gives me pleasure. It gives me a lot of pleasure, Falunton, talk, is. Watching someone use your land, like a total stranger. Yeah. Just diving entirely into your Arabic-style plunge pool. No, he's using my Arabic-style plunge pool.

He's using my Arabic-style plunge pool and I'm not using it at all. The terms of verbo, no, the terms of Swimply mean I'm not allowed to go out while he's using my plunge pool. He can do what ever he wants. And I just have to watch here. I hope he doesn't piss in my Arabic-style plunge pool. He probably will. I think you will. Because getting out to go to the toilet while you're already in the pool is a mugs game.

You're already in a wugs game. Water, you might as well add a little bit more water. It's not that big of a deal. Yeah, but just sort of bob your penis out over the top of the waistband of you. Because I don't want to get the piss on the shorts. You don't want to get the piss. Underwater? But the piss is, you're in the piss pool.

Yeah, but I don't want it to go through the shorts. Some of it will soak through. Some of it will imbue. That's crazy. That's crazy. That's crazy. That's crazy. That's crazy.

You're pissing in the pool, but you're taking your dick out of your shorts. You think that none of it Okay, well I'm not doing this around other people You've made that sound You're not a lot of you are You're taking you dig out of your shorts No I think if you're going to piss in the pool You've got to do it through your little

I don't think that the fabric of your swimwear Is a perfect pass-through I think that's besides the point I think it's the experience You like just being able to do a hands-free clothes on piss And be like How many opportunities do you get to piss your pants.

Have you done it with the shorts on then? The girlies aren't pulling it to the side. It's like, could be. Girlies aren't pulling it to the side. You know what?

This is actually, that's a really good point. You don't really get an opportunity to do a completely like just let go. Undirected. Like how good would it feel to be fully nude

in an environment where it doesn't matter and just like standing full relaxed just piss. Not directing it. Not holding it. Yeah, like when I'm in an isolation tank.

Just piss. Just piss where you stand. I bet that must feel awesome. I don't know. It does. Like if you're in the middle of a desert and there's like no stakes because you're just pissed on the ground, who cares? Or say you're in the middle of a pool.

Yeah, but you're going to plop it out over the top. You've got to do a periscope. I'm sorry. Don't periscope it. Well, don't periscope it if there are people around. I think you're living a lie. I think you're living a lie. It makes no difference.

The piss is floating all around. your underwear anyway. I think if it's passing through the cloth, it's some of it is sticking to the cloth. And if you're periscoping it out and over, it's so diluting all around you. And it's another from a piss. Pills perfect environment too, if you want to give this a try,

because it's full of chlorine. It's going to kill the piss. Well, I mean, that's kind of like, it's also going to wash my shorts. A chicken and egg situation. The chlorine is there because of the piss. It's perfect a piss because of the chlorine. You're going to wash the shorts straight away anyway

because they've been in the clothes. chlorine water. Can I say something? Can I say something? Can I just risk something? Can I put myself out there? No, I don't think we're letting each other. Risk something. Risk something. Risk something. It's nice and warm. Yeah, it is. Kill him. Kill him for saying that. It's true. I think you're, look, you're lying to yourself. That's all I'm saying. I think that by pulling it, I think that by pulling it out of the waistband, you're trying to tell yourself that you're not currently pissing on yourself, which is kind of what we're all doing when we're missing the pool. It's so diluted by the time it's out. See what I mean?

Disconnecting yourself from the fact that you are piercing yourself. You're acting like by moving your penis several centimeters up your body. It's psychological. That it's now, it's a lot compared to my penis. I think you guys are making a, you guys are making a big mistake. It's getting diluted. You're making a huge mistake. You're accepting his premise. You're You're accepting his premise and fighting him on it. Instead of recognizing this as what it is, it's an opportunity to be a nasty little freak. You just be a gross little gnome in the pool. You just be like a nasty little guy.

Which one's the gnome behavior? What's the freak behavior? It's just wetting through your shorts. Yeah. Yeah. But I'm saying that's bad. I know. And I'm saying that you're missing the whole point of the experience.

It's better to pull my people. out of the top of my shorts and piss a cloud of piss around myself that I'm standing in the middle of. You're still meeting him at his level. You just, yes, it's pissing at your shorts and that's good. Agreed. What's the opposite of like, you know when people argue online and they're like, that's logical fallacy?

Yeah, or whatever. Like an ad honoman or an appeal to authority or whatever. Yeah. What's the opposite of that? What's like a perfect logical argument? What would you call that? Because I would like to do one of those... I don't know.

I just like, for me, it's like asking a fish what it is to swim. Because that's how you operate? I'm just doing it. I'm just doing it. Well, I'm going to do one of those perfect logical arguments by discrediting the people that are disagreeing with me. I doubt that you will, but... Number one, top of the totem pole, knocked off the list. Lucy's disagreeing with me because of penis envy.

Can't periscope it out. Yeah, you can't periscope it out. Wish I could periscope it out. Can't because of what I didn't... NB. Yeah. Yeah. Theo,

discrediting him just because he's kind of nasty generally. He's luxuriating in the piss. No, you feel like

you're doing at home. You're doing ad home. No, no, I'm doing pro. He's doing ad home, but positive. It actually works for his money.

Very pro home. Prima facie. I don't know. Yeah. Prima. Primal. Facial? Yeah.

Do you just say Primo facial? Yes, please. Hey, babe. Primo. FACial. And you cannot

Don't write into us being like, I actually really like pissing myself. You can't do it. Sorry, what are we going to say about Andrew? Fuck, I didn't have a third thing. I was just hoping we moved on. We have to pre-moved facial. Too handsome to be correct.

Don't write in to say, I actually love pissing myself. In fact, I enjoy it even more out of the pool. Don't, don't write in. in and say, I don't write it to say pissing in the pool is bad. We know.

Also, grow up. Grow up. Grow up. There's piss in pools. We're going to do it. Ben's going to slightly do it. Kind of halfway do it. You should try it.

Oh, let's cut that. I don't tell about any of this. Episode going good so far. Yeah, I think if we just cut the first 45 minutes and start fresh from now. we're going to be fine. How about this? How about this? Theo's grieving.

So if you complain about this episode right now, you're kind of being a piece of shit about that. That's right. Yeah, that's really true. And you have penis and pink. Also, don't get in touch about the other thing either. Don't talk to me. Just don't talk to us.

Unless you really need to get in touch. Yeah. Don't. Yeah, like an emergency. Please, I need four podcasters to help me. I'm dying. Fowler said listing her pool on Swimply is financially beneficial for her and the local economy. Quote, I pay my taxes every year and I'm happy to do that.

It's going to me. It's supplementing my income and it's also going to a lot of local businesses. What do you mean? So they're showing up to swim in your pool but they're stopping at the... I mean, if there was an ice cream shop. Or is she just spending her money at the Crystal Shop and the Fudge shop. Oh, she's putting it back into Fudge. Oh, it's trickling down.

She's putting a Swimply mud into... Swimply money. just putting a swimply money into fudge, I think. Hey, put your swimply money where your mouth is. Is she saying that her Arabic-style plunge pool is enough of a drawer that people are like, oh, I think there's a shop here that sounds like, I don't know if it has to be enough of a drawer. Artisanal fudge? Everything helps.

Everything helps. I'm rarely saying non-artisanal fudge. Yeah, I don't think it exists. You've got autisional fudge? Arabic style. How hyperfixated on fudge was your fudge smith? Can I meet your fudge smith? I'd like to meet your fudge smith.

But in Cranston, city councilor Frank Ritz disagrees. And he put on a hell of a show when he was disagree. So I'm just picturing someone wiping the corners of their filthy mouth with their bib and saying, my compliments to the fudge smith. Please. I like a sit-down fudge experience. Just coated like a crab boil,

but they pour a whole lot of fudge on the table, I think. Got a bib, yeah. Over the past few weeks, Ritz has said, Ritz said he has received numerous complaints from residents over neighbors

renting out their pools, which are then used to host large parties. Well, yeah, because it's a pool. Yeah, yes. It's a pool party. A single person isn't hiring your

pool on Swim. You think you go to the pool to swim? Oh my sweet summer child. I would absolutely hire a pool to be solo in a pool. Okay, I guess. You don't want to go to public pool. Periscope my little dick out. I was just a periscope my dick out. No one can stop me. I wanted to do some solo periscoping in a Swimply pool. What are you doing this weekend?

Anyway, it was lovely to meet you. Talking to the honour. And your periscoping policy? Parascoping's fine, right? You know my. I mean, I think it would be slightly better for the pool if you didn't periscope because the fabric is taking out some of the stuff from the piss. The urea, the ammonia, you know, the other stuff that's in piss. You think the fabric's keeping the urea and the...

This guy's just dumping urea into the pool. I'm not a crank. That's where all the good stuff is. We should all be periscoping. Just don't do it in front of people. It's very straightforward. Have you guys ever been to a pool party? Yeah. Maybe.

No. Was that how it was advertised to you? Someone was like, hey, we're having a pool party this weekend. Come on over. I mean, you guys are from Queensland. Is the pool parties real? Australia. What have you been to? So, shit.

I've been to pool parties. Oh, pill party? Pool parties? A pill party? Pool party? I've been to parties where there was a pool. Unbelievable. But I don't know if someone's ever handed me like a piece of paper that said,

pool party this weekend. Yeah, and you all stand around the pool. Oh, it was your party pool forward? Was your party pool forward? Everyone's in their togs at the pool? Their togs? I can't tell you just say the word pool normally. Pool? Yeah, I think we're all to say pool.

Have you ever been there when somebody pooped in the pool? Are you a togs city? Is Brisbane a togs city? I don't think Brisbane is a togs place, but I think elsewhere in Queensland, would you say togs? Definitely. Togs are elsewhere in Queensland. Yeah.

His batheers in Victoria. Yeah, bathees is so funny. Bathers is so, it's like... It's so full. It's like old, it feels old timey, right? Yeah, it feels like... My waiters to go down to the local. I'm going into the pool into my

bathers while I hold my little candle on a plate. Yeah, they like wheel the wagon down into the water for him to get into the water at his bathers. Yeah. That was a pretty good setup. Yeah. The bathing wagon?

Why don't we do the bathing wagon anymore? Is there any way you can go in the world where they're still doing the bathing wagon? I think, bathing, bathers is what you wear when you're convalescing, I think,

in the pool. Because you have consumption. When you're fixed to do some convalescent because of your consumption. Yeah, they need you to take up the sea airs

and so they put you with a bathing wagon in your bathers, you get knee-deep water immediately fall on your face and die. Yeah. Two things, Theo is on the sea air diet.

He sees an air record and he buys it. I have one air record And my wife bought it Which one? It's the one where they're like little Little glass dudes Oh, I was thinking of air supply

Never mind. Yeah. Go on. Classic mistake. No idea. Not sure, sorry. You know there's old timey Like full, full body bathers

Charlie Chaplin style Babers. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Pajamas for pools. Yeah. Can't periscope in those. The pill jamas, yeah. Charlie Chaplin basically never periscope.

as far as we know. Yep. And that's a tragedy. He never did. He had to piss through his bathers, yeah. Yeah. And then he trapped some of the piss in the cloth. Yeah.

And then it tells against the body. And the urea. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's probably some other stuff in here as well. Charlie Chaplin's bathers at the pool, yeah. One day someone turned it all on his head. You wear the bathers backwards. You pop open that little flap at the back.

You don't even have to periscope. You don't even have to periscope. Fuck, that's pretty good. Why aren't we put the way on swimming? shorts. Yeah, yeah, bulldogging it out the back of the short. Oh, the tuck and blast? Bulldogging my periscope

and my Charlie Chaplin bathers? Sorry, bulldoging? Is that when you push it out the back? Yeah, it's when you tug it back between your legs and then moon somebody. That's that's bulldog for the record.

Now that I'm thinking about it, I'm pretty sure some of the like enormous past knee length board shorts with distressed graffiti-style graphics on them that I bought from JJ's in like You just say quicksilvers. You just say quicksilvers. No, I was getting off-branchet. I couldn't afford to surf-ramp.

I didn't check my privilege there. I was just getting quicksilvers. Oh, I was just getting quicksilvers. Just quicksiles. You ungrateful prick. Some of us would have loved quicksilvers. I'm pretty sure some of these had, I think because they were meant to double as streetwear.

They did have a fly on them. So you wouldn't even have to periscope. You could just poke that little guy just out through that. Bortchots used to double the street layer. Bortchorts used to be street layer. And they still do if the dreams alive in your heart. They could take you from the beach to the club. To Sunshine Plaza.

Yeah. From the pool to the clover. I think I'm zipping the fly. Unzipping the fly of your bodies, reaching in just pulling your penis out of the fly. Yeah. and standing there pissing, that's more sicko than just pissing in your talks.

You don't do it when someone's around. I don't know how many times I have to say this. You're not just getting your dick out in front of people. So you're just not pissing in the body of water the rest of the time. Yeah. You're alone in the body of water? Oh, absolutely.

And that just adds to the nasty little freak factor. Yes. That's what I've been saying. I'll have eye contact with someone mid-conversation while I'm pissing in a body of water. You cannot do that. That is like, Well, apparently it's never been a problem before. You cannot talk to someone while you're pissing.

You can't. You can't. You can't stealth piss. I'm going to find a way for us to go swimming together then. Fuck, dude. And then like the next day we're recording, you'll be like, hey, guess what? Guess what? Remember we were talking about air?

You didn't even notice. Do you hate it when people talk to you while you're on the toilet too? Oh my God. Never talk to me while I'm on the toilet. You fucking kidding me? I can't make that promise. I'm sorry. Are you a toilet talker?

He's a toilet talker. That's fuck. He was a toilet talker, Jerry. He was a toilet talker. You can't talk to people on the toilet. You've got housemates. You've got to get stuff, you've got to get it all. No.

No. No speech shall pass through the toilet door. This I proclaim. Let's see. Let's see what happens. What do you mean? Let's see. What, in the course of our friendship?

What's so important? I guess. Yeah, what can't wait until I'm done scrolling? What can't wait 45 minutes? Our friendship. Oh, that's nice. I don't even like...

Theo's scratching at the door like a hungry dog. Talk to me. You can't. You cannot be. Like, you know, if I've had a couple of beers and a guy next to me

at the urinal starts chatting, obviously. I'm going to crack wise with the guy next to the guy next to me at the urinal, sure. If I'm behind a cubicle door... But it doesn't make sense. You say that, does it? Girls will do that. They'll chat to you from the toilet

note. Don't. Well, I think that's beautiful. Yeah, I think that's beautiful. That's the sisterhood. I mean, it's part of the divine... I mean, it is a sister word, but don't talk to remember it is in. Right in. The one thing you're allowed to communicate about. They're going to have us all put down after this. One big rock per person.

Not even a bonus. But it feels like a bonus because it's night time. Usually you have to pay for this, yeah. Yeah. Which don't add other good stuff too, all right? There's good stuff in there. Quote, these are wild parties, Ritz said. It's like MTV Spring Break 99 going on in a neighborhood over there. So that's not fair to anyone.

They're like super precisely pinning the age of this person. It's like, dude, Frank, Mr. Ritz, I got to tell you, you can't be comparing shit to MTV Spring Break 99. Do you just mean there's like girls in bikinis? Oh. Is that what we're talking about? They got bikinis at the Swimply spot? Yeah, I think they probably got bikinis at the Swimply.

Regular. Maybe the ones that come up real high. Yeah. Once we're seeing the entire ass, entire butt. We were so often. them for a while, but it turns out they lengthen the body line. That's a cool look. We thought they were chuggy for a bit.

Now they're back. Genetically? Yeah. The prolonged usage actually. Ladies are longer now? They've made ladies longer. They make ladies longer? You ever see like a lady in a bikini from the 80s in like a movie or something

and you're just like, your ass is like 30% of the height of your body. Yeah. It's just a long, it's a tall bikini. That's all it is. It's crazy. I think ladies used to be longer in the things. The titties were different too. Yeah.

Yeah. The titty's in like 70s movies. Titties used to look. We've definitely talked about this before. Absolutely. But I've been doing more research. Turkish lengthening surgery entirely. Turkish tit 70s afired.

I got my tits 70s afired. Yeah, they're actually slightly more askew, a little smaller and less shapely. But in a way that feels very satisfying. Something about them. It just feels more genuine, more authentic. Yeah, they fucked my teeth up while I was in there too. They gave me Mr. Beef

Teeth at the Turkish Boots surgery Beath teeth Turkish I beefer And you can listen to our bonus episodes at petro.com Slash PorteVista Ritt said Swimply itself is not

illegal. Rather, he believes some rentals may violate local ordinance depending on how the properties are being used. Swimply's not the blame here. Swimply is not a crime. People misusing their Swimply account. Swimply is perfectly legal. Yeah.

I believe you will find out Swimply is perfectly legal. I'm not doing the accent, but I'm doing the thing from Star Wars episode one. Gunray. Remember that guy? Has a bit of an accent. I can't really put my finger on what it is. Hey, Swimply might not be illegal, but crimes are. We talk about crimes in Crime Watch.

This was sent into us by listener Robin. Thank you, Robin. From WXII in North Carolina. 12? 18-year-olds charged after police say they brought homemade plasma cannon to Greensboro School. Oh. Plasma. Shit, dude.

These 18-year-olds got the heavy weapon load out? I mean, first of all, they're energy weapons as far as, the skill tree's concerned. That's right. It's a different, different class. Yeah. Fuck, what, your friends bring a needle is in?

What are you doing? Yeah, that's what I was picturing. Two 18-year-olds are facing several charges after court documents so they had a homemade plasma cannon and the property of Smith High School in Greensboro. I'm sorry. What is the best?

Can you put it in the courts? Please put it at the courts that I brought a plasma cannon to school. It is nowhere near as cool as what the words sound like... That's, yeah. What is... Okay.

It's... I mean, Theo, you're kind of our science guy. Now, plasma is the fourth state of matter, correct? Well, I mean, where are you measuring it from? Because, like, if you go all the way down, you get... Push the base. Right in.

Well, if you're at the base, you've got Bose-Einstein condensate. So, it's like... I go from mid-thigh. It's like the fifth? Boz Einstein or Eisenstein? Fuck me. Boz Einstein. Boz Einstein.

Boy, Bozo Eisenstein Oh, Bozo Eisenstein. Hey, we got our fucking Bozo Eisenstein over here. This year, what if Einstein was stupid? I was actually thinking about like a blood plasma

because I was like, well, it's obviously not like a fucking halo gun. Yucky. Yeah, that'd be nasty. Not that? I don't understand what blood plasma is at all. Can someone concisely explain it to me in one sense? I can tell you right now, it's the plasma that's in your blood.

Okay, great, fantastic. I think it helps the blood kind of smush all around. I think it makes the blood bright blue and glowing. Yeah. And it diminishes your shield before it takes away health points. But it does very little HP damage. That's right. Solomon Caravello Bell and Chase Haracharan were arrested July 5th,

according to a magistrate's order filed in Guilford County. That is, Chase, Spelled, C-H-A-Y-C-E. That's a nasty. It's so elegant. It's beautiful. I think it's a lovely name. That's a name for a pianist. That's a name for a balloonist.

That's a name for someone that can play the harp. Chase. Disagery. Chase. Court documents show Caravello Bell and Harrah Charon charged with possession of a weapon of mass destruction, malicious use of an explosive to damage property,

felony breaking and entering and possessing an explosive on educational property. That's a crime now? All those things are a crime now? Yeah, all of them are definitely 100% of crime and probably have been for quite a while. Where did they get it? Did they Shinsow Abe this thing?

Oh, like the gun Shinsu Abe made to give it to the guy to kill him. Please kill me with this. I made this gun. I love that as a synonym for McGiibrink. We sort of Shinsoa made it together. Well, I should learn that guy's name. No one knows the guy's name.

He should stop saying Shinsoaabe gun. He made the gun. We know the name of Mark David Chapman, but we don't know this guy's name. That's fucked up. Tetsuya Yamagami. Tetsuya Yamagi. Is it Mark David Chapman the one who's become super active on Twitter in the last couple of years.

No, that's the other one. No, no. No, that's the other one. The other friend-name person? I'm thinking of the other one. David Hyde-Piers. No. Jody Foster's Rizler.

That's not Mark David Chappen. No, you're right. You're right. That's the John Lennon guy, isn't it? Joe, no, it's not a word. John Hinkler. John Hinkley. John Hinkley, Jr.

Jr. The Hinkler. Mark David Chapman's there. John Lemon guy, right? Everyone was like, hey, this guy's online now. He rules and now he's like really conservative. He's like a right wing guy.

Like the other day he went, I think the Bible says interracial marriage is bad. And then everyone yelled at him and he said, sorry, actually, I think it's good. Oh, okay. As long as he thinks it's good. Yeah. Awesome.

All right. Anyway, Tetsuya Yamagami. Say his name. Tetsuya Yamagami, much respect. Props. You really Shinsu Abe gun together. You really Shinsu Abe that guy. Knock that one out of the park. One of the great Shinsauabings of history.

100% of that hobby. That's all I'm saying. There's not many people that have managed to do that. To Shinsu A gun? Like Tensu Yama Gai? It's kind of almost ironic that Shinsau Abe ended up being the perfect example of being Shinsauabed. Inso Abe, yeah. It's a little garrig's disease. Yes. Copyright,

Puttervista. He's gone of ALS. Yeah. Ah, Lou Gehring syndrome. Who thought I would get Shinso Abed? Oh my God, hanging out.

Oh, at his moment of his death, I never thought this would happen to me, Shinzotabey. Looking at the guy with an expression on his face, I didn't know you were going to do that with it. His last words were, wow, that looks like a great thing to do a Shinsoaabe with.

Oh no! Shinsoh Abe gun. Fuck, Shinsau Arbe is on my own Shinsau Abe device. I'm Shinsau Abe, by the way. In a cruel irony, I failed to explain that I wanted him to get rid of all the other Shinsau Abe. So I wanted to highlander my way to being the only Shinsau Abe. According to the magistrate's order, Investigators said the suspects had a homemade plasma cannon at Smith High School.

The court document alleged to device was used to burn a bush and damage a plexiglass door at the school. That checks out. Okay. All right. So if they've got a weapon of mass destruction, seems to me they've shown like a significant amount of restraint. Yeah. Yeah. We can we offer a bit of patented Buntavista advice to all the school kids who are listening to this?

Oh God. If you Shenzhou Abe together a plasma cannon at home. don't take it to school. Go down the creek. You get so much job for bringing a plasma cannon to school. Go down the creek, dude. Pull some rocks out of the creek. A bit of wet.

Sit them up on something. Shoot them with the plasma cannon. They'll pop real good. They'll heat up and they'd bang, yeah. Yeah. Imagine how much fun that would be. And probably nobody's going to die. Stick with the rocks and stay near the creek though,

so you don't unintentionally cause any fires. You walk into the boundary. of the school with plasma cannon and immediately it's PVP. Flag switching on. You get upgraded to the charge explosive on educational property whereas I guess it's a lesser charge

if you're at the Crick. Yeah. Well you're not interrupting learning. Another hot tip for the Crick is you sort of periscope your penis out of the top of the waistband of your swimmer gear. None of the piss gets stuck to the fabric. Yeah, you got yourself. Your own plasma can if you're a conservative, that's a

good tip. Yeah, Ben's are standing ankle deep in the water while this happens saying, oh, it's been a real dry season, hasn't it? Hands on Egypt. Plasma cannon on one shoulder. Don't worry. That's just the head. I don't want to get any ammonia in my underwear.

The urea would probably discolor the underwear in some fashion. What kind of piss have you got going on? It's fully a bit. What kind of dangerous pissing is doing? Orea much. I'd never drink water. This guy's got urea. Relatively high concentration of urea and your urine much?

Is that why you're periscoping it out? Hey, I noticed you pulled out just the head of your penis so you could piss unobstructed. Do you have high levels of urea by any chance? Look at this guy, high levels of urea. Look at him, he's periscoping. Anyway, lovely to meet you, have a great day. The document's also alleged Caravello Bell and Haracharan broke into a building at 24007 South Holden Road,

which is the address for Smith High School. Stupid. Yeah, that's where you said they were. Yeah. With the intent to commit felony. Who knows the address of high school? It's just where the school is. I don't think any is my school's added address.

You're just like, They're on school street or something, right? That's a really good point, Theo. Schools don't have an address. It's just the school. It's the suburb of the school that you're in. 23, 25, 27. Oh, there it is.

The school. It's the school. Down at the old school. Down of the old school. Kind of a near the creek. I'm taking by plasma cattened down to the old school. Just down there. I'm 18 years old.

The school is crick adjacent. Yeah. Oh, you guys ever go? go to a school, had a crick adjacent school, man. Yeah. Yeah. One of my prime schools had a crick behind it. We had a crick.

Our old house before we moved was Um, was um, Crick adjacent. I was down by the road. Well, the house itself was crick adjacent. You have a hole around there as well?

Yeah. Hover by the crick? Yeah. I think at some point it just kind of turned into a stormwater drain. You know? Yeah. That's probably what happened. Yeah.

Yeah. They paved paradise, put a parking lot, things on that nature. Yep. They pave the crick and they put up a storeboarder drain. Probably... Mm-bap-bap. Yeah. Shit.

They took all the trees and they put them in a tree museum. Well, at least the tree museum is free. I can believe it. They wouldn't charge you to look at the trees at the tree museum. And if they did, what would it be? 10 cents? That's actually normal to me. 30 cents, 80 cents.

It wouldn't be anything more than a dollar, sure. Sure. Not been more than a dollar. I think they're charging. I think if it's like Blade Runner land, they're charging you like a thousand yen because there's no more trees. Yes. And the Japanese took over.

It's all Japanese now. It's a thousand yen. It's free to look at the ziggurates, but the tree is going to cost you. waking up in Blade Runner times, looking at me like, oh, that's right. It's all Japanese now. I forgot.

It's okay. I just wasn't expecting it to be Japanese. Oh, it's all Japanese now. I don't know what. Because it's all like Panasonic, it's sodium and all this stuff from the 80s. Not a lot of Kogan. Not a lot of Kogan.

Not a lot of Dick Smith. Not a lot of Kogan in Blade Runner. I remember when John Blade Runner turned to his partner and said, it's all Japanese to me. And his partner said, I'm going to hunt you down and kill you. It's really funny if you watch Blade Runner and Black Rain. You realize that Ridley Scott made two movies.

About like what if everything was Japanese now? It's raining and everything's Japanese. And the movie starts with the same three letters. I feel like that was a lot of what was going on at the time, though, wasn't it? Everyone's like, oh, what if it was all Japanese, you know? Yeah, rising son. Bruce Willis is going to meet his wife at Nakatomi Plaza, you know? It's all Japanese now.

Yeah, it's all Japanese now. You know what it turns out? Barely any of it is Japanese. Mosburger, I think the Mossburger at the Queen Street Mall closed down. That's not a lot of it. Lessonless than Japanese. And Top Sushi, which was next to Mossburger, also closed down. It's like a fucking board game shop.

Yeah. But Vapiano going strong. All the Japanese stuff is Chinese. Fabiano going strong. Italian blade drawn up. Much like a brief period between 1939 and 1945. Officers also said a juvenile was detained before being released into the custody of a parent. Juvenile petitions will be taken out for the appropriate charges.

He will be executed. They will be shot for having a very cool gun. the future. Hey, this was definitely an episode of the podcast. Bonta Vista. Thank you so much for joining us on just another crazy journey. I don't feel like we learned anything in this one.

Best not to. No. Oh, we learned that smart car was. Yeah, and the name of the Gala Kjianzawa, which was. Yeah.

Which was? Chatsuya Yammer. Yamagami. Yamagami. Thank you so much for joining us. If you want more of this, please, Patreon.

com slash Buena Vista. So the last bonus that we put out, one of the longest recording sessions we've had in years, I think. Regular length episode. But we were chopping it up. We were just in it. We were just in it. We were chomping it up.

Went long, but where were you measuring it from? Pushing the ruler just basically drawing blood. You can't push the base down. Like that's cheating. That's what that Go-Chay song is about, like drawing blood. It's about pushing a metal ruler so hard into the base of your penis. How are we saying that? Gotier

Gotier Gotier Gotier Gotier Gotier Gotier Like Jean-Paul Gault Jean-Pol

Goatee Sorry no I was actually about to start beatboxing I wasn't stuttering It's very cool Please Subscribe if you want to

If this has put you off They're not all like this There are a lot of them are like this You won't like it If you didn't like this You might not like it You're fucked

You're like smartless better I guess. Probably more of a smartless person, I guess. Maybe you should go to my brother, my brother and me maybe,

something like that. I don't know, maybe that's more your speed. The young Turks. Oh yeah, maybe you're a young Turks. Yeah,

it sounds like, yeah, you're probably like a young Turks. Pod save America. That's your fucking speed, isn't it, pal? Maybe you like one of the ones

where our founders talk to each other. Oh my God. Found a moment. I think we just had a founder moment. Oh, work head in my hands. I'm just having a founder moment. I'm having a fucking found a moment.

Oh my God. If you're having a nap on your executive couch while you're pushing a prod at 2 am. Found a moment. Thinking about ending at all. I'm having a founder moment. If you're sort of implying to your secretary that maybe she could get a percentage stake in the business if she goes out to

dinner with you, found a moment. Found a moment. Found a moment. I can get you a corner table at Lazaro's. I don't know. Maybe. Who knows what would happen? I can get you one of the big long tables of Vapiano's. Yeah, they got special ones out the back. They got special tables for founders of Papiato.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, boy, this episode is definitely over. Thank you so much for listening. We will talk to you so soon. Be safe out there, please. Bye. Bye. Bye, boy.