Boonta Vista - EPISODE 457: A Dik-Dik's Worth Of Raw Chicken

Episode Date: August 9, 2026

Lucy, Theo, Andrew, and Ben bring you: Mandatory Spiderman, the lurker in the plasma facility, Geoffrey's wonderful chairs, vultures everywhere, and a mystery business. *** Outro: Bird Brains - Holy Fuck *** Support our show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista *** Email the show at [e-mail]! Call in and leave us a question or a message on 1800-317-515 to be answered on the show! *** Website: boontavista.com Twitch: twitch.tv/boontavista

out the top and shit. Yeah, it's gross. It's gross game. Really good, though. Hello, welcome to Bunda Vista, episode 457. We've got a great episode coming up, I'm sure, but first, let's get some housekeeping out of the way. We've actually got here, yeah, we've got some updates to consensus reality. Now, if this is your first meeting, I want to be clear these are not new trends, but something deeper, an unspoken shift in our collective understanding. Now, let's see what we got here. I know for a while now, a normal birth year to have has been 9086, and it's been for quite a few years now, but we're finally seeing that get an update to 1992.

But don't get too comfortable, though, because word is we might see that get bumped up to 994 before the end of the year. Along the same lines, let's see, 40 is now the new 36. So we've got the Incredible Hulk is and has always been extremely wet. That one makes sense. Avenge Sevenfold is now recognized as being technically adept and knowingly kitsch, much like we saw the critical assessment of the darkness change. I'm not crazy about that one, but it makes sense. And here's what it is.

I don't make the rules. Speaking, not making the rules. Using a laptop on the toilet's basically fine. Five inches also basically fine. The new popular disease to have is now mast cell activation syndrome. Don't get mad. Don't get mad. There's actually personal experience anecdote.

Don't get bad. Don't get mad at me. I'm not being mean. But yeah, it's master activation syndrome. I'm here with Lucy. Lucy, how are you feeling about Avenge Sevenfold these days? How am I feeling about Avenge Sevenfold these days? They're kind of a bit keech, I know, I know, but sort of like...

I don't like walking into this because I feel like I'm walking into a joke where the joke would be that I ever liked Avenge Sevenfold. You need to understand that they're not very good. You're not a good band I kind of like a Venture 7-4 What? Consensus reality is updated that we Oh fresh axiom Yeah fresh axiom

Yeah It's a fresh axiom from like 10 years ago Yeah okay Good at the guitar and stuff We're all like Creed and Nickelback now or whatever Yeah awesome No what the fuck No not like that

No not like that Any others you want to add Lucy on your list No I'm good I think you've got it covered I think you've got it handled Yeah, especially the stuff about the five inches. Yeah, cool. Also here with Ben.

Now, Ben, you're saying that air fryers wants the most ascendant kitchen item since the neutral bullet are now on the outer due to concerns about PFAS. Yep, I am saying that. We run it with that? Yeah, I was never on board of them.

I want the record to state that. Never on board of them at any point. Never bought one. Let's just, okay, let's just put a pin in that because we may come back to that because I do have a note for next week that apparently PFAS might not actually be that bad.

for you. Well, that'd be good. Yeah. It'd be good to find out, I think. And finally, here's Andrew with the latest ranking of races by how cool they are. Andrew. Okay, ready? This is going to shock you.

Number one with a bullet for 2026, Macedonian. That's all out of the way. It's time to start the episode. Wow. Well, done. Very smooth. Sorry, I was distracted. I was looking at car prices.

like the Hulk. You're looking at car prices? Yeah, I don't know. I'm pathetic. Which car are you planning on getting rid of? I don't know yet. The Ben's? Because you love the Ben's.

You're really enjoying the Benz at the moment. Fuck you. I think the Porsche is a little chopped. Fuck you. Like it was cool when you first got it. Is it been still cool? I feel like that's not a cool car anymore. It's not cool, but it's luxurious.

I don't know. They're all fucked up. They're gone like cryptocurrency and shit. They're charging you. They charge you a yearly subscription for like seat warmers. This is BMW. That's BMW, which leads directly... Oh, Ben, sorry, BMW, not Ben.

Sorry, my apologies. Into my dump-it. It's time for dump it. Fuck, yeah. When the story ain't funny enough. Don't bet when there ain't enough funny stuff. Junk it. If you walk the show to be good, then gone and dump all that stuff.

Is this going to be what I think it is, Ben? I think it is exactly what you think it is, Andrew. So we talked about the BMW seat warmest thing ages ago. The thing was they shipped all these cars with seat warmers. The seat warmers were inside the seats. They're in the car. You can only get them if you paid a subscription fee. With your money.

Pretty fucked up. The thing from this week is that anyone with a BMW older than, no, newer than 2021, 2021 onwards, opened up their car the other day. Turned it on and now you kind of have to picture this in your mind's eye because it is a little strange. Modern cars have a sort of iPad-style big screen on them now that shows temperatures. It's your infotem. It's got infotem. It's got infotay surfer.

Yeah. Yeah, it's your subway surfer while you're on the highway, shit like that. And a bunch of BMW owners owned their car, bought their car, were paying off their car, turn it on and then there's a banner ad on the big sort of iPad thing that's in there on the dash for Spider-Man brand-new day. If you clicked on it, it would play a trailer for Spider-Man brand-new day. So I independently arrived at your first story at the moment that you were about to do your first story, Ben.

I bumped it up the list because it was so convenient, but pretty fucking, yeah, wow. Also, yeah, this is, like, honestly, so insulting. This is like, fucking them coming to your house and. driving a stake into your asshole. It is very much like someone sort of... It's exactly like that. Like waking up in the middle of the night, putting a black bag over your hair,

dragging you out in front of your screaming family. We're just fucking sheep. We're just sheep. Obey. Obey. That's what it should say. You know? I like, we've already ranted enough about the fact that your TV that you bought

will advertise shit to you, which is insane. The fact that your car is just another like billboard you paid for it. You need so much money for it. And I don't think you should stop feeling insane about this. I think the moment we stop feeling insane about this is the moment we get to watch fucking Spider-Man ads

on our, you know, the car when you turn it on, right? It should pop up while you're on the highway. It's, fuck it. You know how, you know how, like, new cars will have that sort of screen that's in the dash and it projects a reflection onto the windscreen so that you can see like the speeder or whatever. They should just have like a full-size TV there

that just plays full-screen Spider-Man trailer for you while you're on the highway. It's kind of obscuring like 50% of the visible area. He's like jumping on cars. It's immersive, you know? He's web-cline. The best thing is that they know. They can say to the Sony Corporation,

we know that people's eyes are staying, on this commercial. They're not looking away. They're not switching over to their phone because they don't want to die. Honestly, don't throw a good idea away just because it's been infected by ads though, right?

Like, imagine it's projecting up, you're like, you're out there, you're looking at the windscreen anyway, right? You're keeping an eye on your speed. You keep an eye on the other cars, but you're also keeping an eye on the raid. Yep. Because it's being projected, like,

you know, that guy's getting kicked down the stairwell. And you can adjust his back. Opacity? Oh, yeah. Just adjust the opacity. Yeah. 80%. The cruise control, the adaptive cruise control is holding your position perfectly.

But you still got eyes on the road to, you know, take control any time that it's needed. 80% opacity. But also, man, oh man, that fucking guy just got his throat impaled on the doorframe. And that's some nasty shit, dude. Yeah, well, he's back. Oh, he got his spine on that railing. That didn't look good. Yeah.

Yeah. Ah, school bus. This is the statement that BMW put out, which I thought, you know, might explain it, might make people less angry about it. Yeah, more reasonable, yeah. To celebrate the partnership with Spider-Man trademark brand new day. Bad start. World-class bad start. BMW is a special surprise for its drivers. The Spider-Man animation will be available to all customers with suitably equipped vehicles from the 27th July to the 10th of August.

Starting the car brings up a special banner in the control display. Clicking on it then activates the Spider-Man trademark animation, comprising a full-screen festive animation, the control display with aptly chosen backing music and an accompanying light show of the ambient lighting system. Have you seen the animation impression, Ben? No, I have not. It is not good.

I was going to say. I love the presentation of this as something you get. Like, this is something you can have. You're here. Congratulations. For driving the BMW. The backing music is aptly chosen. In exchange for...

Or in exchange something paid only $85,000 for a car you have received one animation. Fuck it's got to be like so far, everyone involved in doing this. It's so far from being human that like at some point someone's just going to like explode like spontaneously. They're just the collective weight of their sins on their psyche and they're just going to fucking detonate. No one that does any of this cares. Like no one like basically no one that. I think there's got a. be, there's got to be some semblance of your humanity deep down that's like screaming,

even though you've been put into this mind and body that's like a servitor for making the worst content on earth and putting in front of people that don't want to see it. I think they do want to see it. I think I've got to be, good ideas here. Listen to the, listen to the part of your brain that's screaming. Listen to the part of your brain that makes you want to just fucking freak out. No, make it worse. What we've got to do is make the iPad like cozy gaming.

And you've got like, there's a little guy and you need to feed him by driving kilometers. That's good. He needs to consume petrol and you've got to drive to make him strong. And he's like a cute guy. Oh, I'm hungry for emissions. Yeah. Oh, I get emissions. Yum.

Oh. Oh. You're guys sick. You didn't drive. You didn't drive yesterday. You missed some of your daylies. Yeah, he's dead. Closing the circle by driving another.

100 kilometers. I was going to build a set of drums out of coconuts. But oh well. I think project, do like an AR game. Projection, full projection over the windscreen. It is what's happening on the highway in front of you, but you looks like subway surfer.

Swerving in and out of the lanes. It'll make you a better driver. Yep. What are you more interested in? Drivewaying? Drivewaying or subway surfing? Drivewaying. Hey, those big screens they've got in cars these days.

They could put anything on those, including a naked guy. We talk about naked guys in naked guy. This comes to us from KRIV, the crib. Naked man arrested after plasma patient sees eyes peeking through business wall. Okay. Now we're talking blood plasma? No, this is another plasma gun situation. A video popped up on one of my feeds yesterday.

of a guy with a YouTube channel who apparently just like chain smokes blunts and makes and fires plasma guns in his garage. So I don't know what the weapon tech situation that we're at is, but based on that story we did the other day and what I'm saying,

we just have energy weapons. We missed a few updates, yeah. We missed a consensuality update. Yeah, energy weapons. Also, you don't know a job is available until it's taken. Oh my God. And you can't be the second guy with the monetized YouTube channel you chain smoke blunts and make and fire plasma guns.

He took that. You've got to think of your own thing. You've got to give another thing. Thinking of your own thing is hard because it can't be one of the things you already know. It's hard to do. It can be one of the only things. Yeah. Most of the things that I can think of are the stuff that I knows.

Yeah. So. Yeah. And I knows those stuffs from other people doing it. Yeah. It's hard to think of stuff that you don't from already know. Yeah. Yes. Yeah.

Although, no one... Aristotle, I think. No one had the idea to do a bad podcast before. Yeah, we were the first one. We were the first one. We did start a wave of them. I think kind of genuinely, that may be a niche that we create. A podcast that maybe sometimes isn't good.

Yeah, you're welcome. A man was arrested after being found at the wall of a plasma center in Fresno. In the wall? In the walls. Oh, you thought... I thought it was sort of like a through a painting kind of situation. Oh, like peeping, peeping from outside, like a gap in the wall. Yeah, it was like a gap in the wall, yeah.

He's in the crawl space, motherfucker. He's the crawl space. I thought something like normal, like he was in a secret room inside the plasma center and there was a painting on the other side of the room and he could slide across and then his eyes would be where the painting's eyes were. Something regular like that. And the eyes kind of follow you around the room. Because they're human eyes.

Yeah. Which is also true of that painting with the... The Mona Lisa? What's the one? Is the girl with the pearl earring? Is that the one where they're supposed to the eyes, just always follow you wherever you are? She's looking at me.

I think she's into me. Yeah. The scene was at Griffles Biomat, USA Plasma Center. Oh, you're going down to give some plasma at Griffles? Hey, see you down at Griffles later? Fucking hell. Griffles Discount Biomat. Griffles Biomat, USA.

That's so. Does it sound like I'm going down to give plasma And they're going to give me a placemat With cartoon illustration. The Fresno Police Department says officers first got a call around 7 a.m. For reports of a possible person in the attic of the business. A possible person. Possible person.

It could be a possible person in the attic. Yeah. I like that it's a possible person. Could be a bee. A creature. Yes. You got a Schrodinger's attic guy? Got to collapse that wave.

form. Might be up there. We haven't observed him yet. I like that he's nude. He's kind of wearing the building when you think about it. Oh, yeah. Back in the day, back in the day, you'd be nude and you'd have to wear a barrel because that's all people give you these days. Or a potato sack, yeah. Yes. Barrels are so expensive, by the way. Like a barrel that's still intact. Well, now they are because people bought them all to make bourbon or whatever. They didn't used to be expensive. What were the barrels for,

before. Like regular shit. Like water. Officers searched but did not find anything. Later, around 9 a.m., officers were called back to the same location after a patient and plasma center heard noises coming from within the wall and somehow saw eyes peering out at them. Like, somehow?

Was there a fucking hole or not? A crack? A crack? Perhaps. A psycho style. Something to peer through. Hey, look, I got an idea. Yeah, we know you got all that

fucking kit from Fallujah, right? We know you've got an MRAP. Drop some smoke in the walls. See what crawls out. Oh, T-bird. So close. I'm kind of like a multidisciplinary thinker. Yeah, but you can't imagine stuff

so you don't know, which is a damn shame. I think it's not fair to come in and poke around at like 7 a.m. It's not fair to expect him to be up and clothed and on his evading scrutiny game at like 7 a.m. After 9.30, if you're getting caught, that's on you. After 9.30 business hours, you should have adjusted to the rhythms of when people are coming into the plasma center and know to just kind of mind your own business.

Stay up in the crawl space with the Nintendo Switch. Either turned all the way down or you got your headphones in. You know? Don't get too excited when you do get to throw Mario's hat onto something and it turns into that thing. You turn into that thing with Mario's hat. Don't get too excited. They'll hear you wriggling around, kicking your feet, you know?

Bouncing up and down. Yes. Yippie. I'm having fun, gaming. I came into the office and I just heard, it is a me from the attic. Officers tried to get the man to come out, but he started throwing metal objects at them.

What metal objects? Sun Tundries, things that he had. Trinkets? Hey, come out of there. I don't want to. Yeah. No. Meh.

They then used pepper balls on the man, and when he came out, officers discovered he was completely nude. Not the only pepper balls, you know what I'm saying? Very true. He was arrested and taken to the hospital. What do you mean? The man also damaged a water man at one point, flooding the lobby of the business. The rest of the strip mall was also evacuated due to the water possibly causing flooding at the other buildings as well. I'm sorry, the

Griffles Biomat Plasma Center is in a strip mall. Oh my God, you should see a photo of this. It's like, you know how there's the meme where it's a photo of, like, it's a telephoto photo of sort of like a truck, not a truck stop, but one of those like off

the highway groupings of like chain restaurant or whatever. And there's just like 5,000 different signs and stuff poking up in the air, like average American street. And it could be anywhere in America. Like I've seen five millions of those. Yeah, it's all the same. Yeah, and like this is this strip mall that it's in.

American strip malls, I think maybe especially in the southwest, but throughout a lot of the country, I often made it this kind of beige faux stone. Yeah. Sort of cream-colored. It's like this cream stone-colored vibe, yeah. Yeah. And this is just one of those. You know, giant car park, a bunch of other businesses or whatever, but it's just, you know,

a plasma center. Sell my plasma and grab some. Chipotle after or whatever. Yeah. Going up to the plasma center. You need anything? Let he who is real stone, foe the first stone.

What? What? What? No, I got it. What are you mean? What? That style of building. It's not particularly regional.

We talk about things that are in regional bullshit. Regional bullshit. Every little town has got their own bullshit. Regional bullshit Every little town has just got to happen This is from W.H.O. in Iowa. More seating at Iowa State Fair, thanks to Jeffries.

Now, how do we pronounce that word again? Lewis, it's the style of chair. Adirondack? Yeah? Thanks to Jeffries, Adirondack. Oh, I know that from Hellthone. From Hell Orbs. Hellorondack Throne got meat on my boat.

own AT&T on my phone, Latable and Wight packets alone, yeah, etc. Yep, cool. Oh, that's good. Yeah. Now, do feel good ink. There will be more places to sit at the Iowa State Fair this year, thanks to Jeffrey Grimes.

Okay. The Anne Caney resident wants to be known as the State Fair chair guy. He learned how to build Adirondack chairs six years ago during COVID. That's, uh, you spent COVID learning to build an Adirondack chair? Isn't that awesome? I would love to build one. It can't be that hard.

You can mostly, no part of it is wider than like a hand span wide, right? You think you're whittling? Are you whittling? What do you mean whittling? What part of it would you be whittling? I don't know. Whittling? I mean, you got to smooth them.

You got to smooth the edges. Yeah, I'm just going to whittle a chair. I've never made a chair. What does it look like? What does it look like? Have any of you made a chair? No. I've made a stool.

Stop asking. I've never made a chair. There's made a couple of stools this morning. Yeah. There's a whole subplod in the Melbourne. Gibson movie The Patriot where he's trying to make a chair but he's bad in making chairs. Later on in the movie he sits in a nice chair and he goes, oh, how'd they do it? That's just something to watch out for one of the Easter eggs in the Roland Emmerich movie,

The Patriot. That's crazy. Theo, they're kind of the ubiquitous, like, outdoor chair. Like, not the cheap plastic shit that we churn out now. But, yeah, you know, they're really low to the ground. they sort of, you could probably Google it to see an image. I don't know how to spell it.

It looks like fence. Adirondack. What if fence were chair? Yeah, it's like if a fence was a chair somehow. I've never seen one of these in my life. You can really easily picture J.F.K. Sitting in one of these little slutty shorts,

beautiful tan, one ball out. Beautiful head of hair. Long future. Long future. Long future. Of curving the U.S. Military Spending.

Ramping down the aggression with Russia. and Cuba and he's just having a beer sitting in a chair and he's thinking hey he's having a beer he's got a Miller light we're going to course correct

the USA we're going to raid in the CIA it's all up from here you know what let's close the Pentagon I think everything's going to be just fine what I love about this is I

you know we live in such a a mass produced drop shipping bullshit world now that if someone says that they sell something, it doesn't mean they have any connection to it. If he's like, I want to be the chair guy, I'm like, oh, great, you own Jeffrey Grimes's chair warehouse. You drop ship chairs.

Yeah, you drop ship chairs in a brick and mortar store. But no, this is a guy who during COVID, unlike every other US citizen stayed indoors and was like, whittling his chairs. Whittling away at those chairs, yeah. Sitting on his front porch with a single stick at a whittling knife. Whittling away.

Chewing a piece of straw. Chewing a piece of had a wrong jack chair. But what's he sitting on? Wow, that's the bootstrapping problem. I was talking to a friend of mine about this the other day. She's, she really wants to build a really nice workbench for herself, which is a process that I went through. years ago where I was just doing a lot of research on like types and forms of workbench.

We read a great book called the Anacus Workbench. It was just a really good getting into the thought process of it. And she's like, but I'm stuck because I'm at the point where I need to build it. They have nothing to build it on. Oh, no. Yeah. It's good. Yeah.

It's the good. It turns out the solution is you can buy a workbench off Facebook marketplace for 50 bucks. And you go, you know what? I'm going to use this to build my workbench. Then you go, wait a second. Hold on. I have a work base of itself. Yeah.

The good news is that tons of old guys are dying and their beautiful 100-year-old 200-year-old 250-kilow hardwood workbenchers. They've been fucking sitting on those things, not literally, but like... Yeah, it's just... Oh, man, some of the benches they got out there. Vicer's on them. Boggles of mine. Yeah.

And now their kids are trying to get rid of them because they are heavy and compass them and they have no use for them. Yeah, it turns out what's like... light and cheap is like a particle board piece of shit. Yeah, craft right. It's not going to hold your vice steady. That vice is shaking all the way of, yeah. Yeah.

Shit sucks, man, but not this guy's making his own fucking chairs. It's not particle board bullshit. He's probably making it out of beautiful American yellow pine, maybe even a hard wood of certain occasions. He's making him for the fair. That's beautiful. Which, I mean, it's probably got a bottlenecking problem here somewhere. that like the fare is probably going to be quite big

he's like one guy and one guy he can't supply the whole fare yeah how many how many chairs could he have but if one person gets to sit down that otherwise wouldn't have sat down I think that's beautiful but what if he

what if he kind of bought some equipment to make the chairs and then he sort of paid some people and then he was getting paid by the fair and he took a little bit he took a little bit just a bit because he set the whole thing up he was you know

kind of took all the risk and that sort of stuff. He doesn't have time to work on the chairs anymore. He's got to talk to all the people and take the cream. I think he'd end up unhappy. He's disconnecting himself from the thing that he was passionate about in the first place, making the chairs. Yeah, I hear that. But also, what about the cream? Yeah.

Well, he needs the cream because now, you know, he might not be on the tools anymore. Yeah. But he's pulling like 60-hour work weeks. Now, a lot of that is just sitting in his office. Yeah. Taking personal phone calls and stuff. Take a phone call. He's charging the company for like treadmill time.

Yeah. Charging the company for subway server tokens. But what about the mental load of having to look after all the people to make the chairs for him? That's why he gets so much. I love the concept of like CEOs like I never switch off. I'm always thinking about work. It's like yeah, you and fucking everybody else on the planet because work sucks. Yeah, dude.

Yeah, dude. Yeah. Yeah, I will. So like when you finish work, you're not finished work. I still thinking about it. Ads are bad. Yeah. It's the greatest podcast.

Since then, he started a business called Jeffries Adirondacks. He sells his chairs online and often donates them to local causes. God, that rules. This man, this is a good, a good man, Jeffrey Grimes. You're a good man, Mr. Grimes. His first customer at the fairgrounds was Bubbly, where you'll find dozens of his chairs at the bar located at the top of the hill near grandfather's barn. You know, excited to get the chairs, but what was their business called?

Grime said the best part for him is seeing people enjoy his hard work. I love it because I honestly genuinely love the Iowa State Fair, Grimes said. And I love just coming and seeing that people are sitting down and enjoying something that in my garage, I build one by one. And the people are just sitting down and enjoying their favorite whatever food on a stick. That's beautiful. That's awesome. Also, if that were me, I'd get really frustrated if they were my chance.

I'd be like, you're sitting on it wrong. You're kind of sitting on it wrong? You're actually, you're scooching your ass too far forward, so you're actually putting all the pressure on your lower back. You're sitting too heavy on the chair. It's going to damage the timber that I'm heavily riddled. You don't have to plunk down. You could lower yourself down, okay?

Whoa, whoa, whoa. I built that in my garage. Handing the menu back to the waitress and saying, hey, you choose as long as you stick it. Just pop it on a stick. probably one thing I will say about the Adirondack chair hard to get in and out of yeah

too low very low angle and it's like it's kind of lower at the back it's no it's no good yeah I mean they're great for like sun lounging this is a sun lounger for sure you'd like you got a beer you're next to the lake or whatever the fuck yeah it's a chair for when you don't need to get back up you do not want to be on a constant

you wouldn't if you were playing a round of darts with friends yeah you wouldn't be getting in and out of the chair Everyone would be gone like, can you stop sitting in that fucking chair? It takes you so long to have your turn. The noise gets worse every time you stand up. Just this type of chair looks so fucking uncomfortable to me. But they're timeless.

They're beautiful. Rock hard. Ramrod straight backs on them, you know. Where's the ergonomics? Where's the cushions? This is pre-organism. I don't like that. I like post-organomics.

This summer, eight more of Jeffries at aondack chairs will be in front of Josephine's glazed donuts, which is located near the swine barn. That's beautiful. Down near the swine barn? There are dozens of his chairs at Bubley, which is near grandfather's barn. There's eight of them at Josephine's glazed donuts

near the swine barn. Very barn-based navigation system that they use at Iowa State Fair. He hopes to have more of his chairs at the fairgrounds in the future. Me too. Yeah. Hey, keep on chair. This guy's worked it out.

Keep on chair. I hope to see one of your chairs one day. Yeah. Love to park my keister in one of those sometime pal. That's a fine chair there, bud. Thank you very much. I'd lower myself slowly. Oh, respectfully.

Respectfully. Yeah. Hands on the armrests. I'm not fucking freehanding that shit. Oh, you don't want to freehand it. Hey, this seems like a nice guy who is maybe using a lot of power tools in his garage. Maybe that's caused some neighborly disputes. We talk about neighborly disputes in neighborly disputes watch.

This was sent in by listener Matt. This comes from the Baltimore banner. Vultures flock to a Columbia neighborhood where woman won't stop feeding them raw meat. Oh. I think that's why the vultures are going there. Yeah. They tend to like that stuff. This is not our first neighbor won't stop feeding vultures or buzzards, basically carrion birds

to meet and the neighbours want them to stop, but they won't. It feels pretty good to feed a carrion bird, though. Fuck, fucking oath. Here's something those neighbors should consider. You can't always get what you want in life. You get what you get and you don't get upset. Sometimes you get hundreds of... It's the price you pay for community.

Yes. Yes. You do, there is going to be conflict. We will be at odds with each other sometimes living in close proximity. That's what we get from being in a society. You get, you know, all of the benefits that come from that. And also, your town is overrun by carrion birds. You can't, and you can't just switch the natural world off.

Like, I know it's easy to go like, oh, you know, I'm so sick of these birds or whatever, you know, so I'm going to cut these trees down. But you've got to, you can't just, you can't give. into that, right? I think part of living in the natural world is sometimes your neighborhood is going to get over on with like 4,600 vultures, and they're just shitting everywhere. They have to shit on their legs to keep them cool all the time. They've got to shit on them, so they're like kind kind of just shitting everywhere. Is that a thing that vultures famously do? Or just... I don't know. One of them. All the eagles, I think, shit on themselves. It's called evaporative

cooling and it works very well. If you see me pissing all over my own feet in the summertime. Yeah, it's a fapid of cooling. Leave me be. Yep, leave me be. Yeah, if you see Andrew pissing on his own feet in summertime, no, you didn't. Yep, if you see me pissing on Theo's feet in the summertime, that's between us. I saw it, you didn't see it. Feng's son's neighbors in Columbia were fed up and grossed out.

They were tired of the stench of decaying meat, the poop dripping down their rooftops, and regurgitated chicken bones in their yards. There's no making some people happy. They are. They are. They're not. son a resident of the glenmont neighborhood near long reach is resisting efforts to make her stop feeding raw meat to black vultures in her backyard her actions drew hundreds of the prehistoric looking scavengers to the neighborhood where they often lined rooftops and tree branches around her house son who declined to comment thursday after this story published told county health officials she believes the birds need her help quote i'm a bird lover i love to feed all the wild birds son wrote in a march twentieth letter to the board of health I believe the birds are guardian angels for us all.

That's kind of beautiful. And also what? If she was feeding pigeons, would you be this mad? She's giving bread to the ducks at the park. Are you going to get angry? I don't think so. I think she should get angry because they're not supposed to eat the bread. What if it was one of the cute animals?

Through your like weird, fucked up anthropomorphic lens, if there were like 60 dick-dicks in the neighborhood that she was feeding, would you be like, oh, yucky, there's all these dick-dicks everywhere. She'd be the later that brought dick-dicks to the neighborhood. You'd be like, hey, thank you for bringing the dick-dick lady. dick dick lady it's the dick dick lady from

TikTok yeah yeah you see the TikTok dick dick dick lady fucking crazy preconceived ideas about carrion birds

yeah what if that vulture was a dick dick what if it was a dick didn't think about that did you not sure what they eat don't know

I don't know I think sandwiches that's what I've been feeding them have Rubin a BLT for my dick dick dick tics will only eat of Rubin.

This isn't Russian dressing. I believe they can speak as well. Yeah. But county officials disagree. Finding her feeding of the lap dog-sized birds a health hazard and a nuisance. Lap-dog size birds. I don't think it's up to county officials

to decide what's a nuisance. They could decide what's a health hazard. I'll give them that. For sure. I also think compare the size to, instead of a lap dog, compare it to like a more excessive. a dick dick size of bird Yeah

So tell me it's chicken size Tell me it's turkey sized Yeah That's just pretty big right I would argue bigger than a lap dog About the size of a dick dick Not that I'm taking science here But yeah

Probably about the size of a dick dick dick I'd say Oh maybe a bit bigger than a dick Actually Oh You ever just look at the Google image results For dick dick dick No

Are they cute? These things are good Oh they're the cutest little Yeah they're not that big But it's perfectly normal Some of the only five inches long. For a dick, dick to be. Five inches around like the global average, you know.

Yeah. So it's interesting because when you say, no, never mind. She was warned and stopped feeding the vultures years ago, but she resumed feeding them last year and her ongoing dispute county officials has advanced to Howard County Circuit Court, where Sun is appealing a July 21st ruling by a district court judge who found her guilty of violating the county health code and find her $2,500.

So she's stopped but she's back. She's like Lord help me? Yeah, she's gone back to the old her. She's feeding raw meat to the eaters of the dead. Not just meat either, bones too. Yeah. Well, I think the bones are in the meat.

Yeah. Those are freebie bones. I consider bones as separate to meat. Bones is separate to meat. Bones is separate to meat. Yeah. Meat is not bones. Bones is not meat.

Bones is not meat. And yet in some perverse. It is not the bones, is not the carrion. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. I don't know. Is it all carrion?

It's all carrion. It's all will be. Eventually, all of us. All of this shit. Yeah. Ah, gonna die. I just remembered. Oh, fuck.

I'm becoming carrion. All of this will be lost. When I die, don't cremate me. I would prefer you to just sort of lay me out on the side of a highway, nude, somewhere. Yeah. Speed up the carrion birds. process. I want to get back to the earth.

About six or seven years ago, Sun noticed a committee of them shivering in her backyard amid a winter cold snap. She wrote... Media vultures? Is that the pluronym? Is that the name for a collective noun? It is.

It's a quick update, yeah. I think it's just plural, isn't it? That's beautiful. That's a nice one. That's really lovely. Something that I've discovered is that nearly all pluridems are fake. Like, they're not, there's not like one fixed

standard one that's like, it's just kind of like some are used, but they're not like it's a rigid classification of pluronyms. Words are, yeah. Words are sort of that way, yeah. Check this out from the, I've just gone vulture plural and from the AI

overview from Google, which caused like a bunch of fucking kerosene generators to spin up and destroy a poor neighborhood. We gave you something to read on a podcast. Vultures is the plural form of the noun vulture. Word detail, singular, vulture, plural vultures.

Wow, that's fascinating. Add an S to the end of the word. If you need help with sentence examples or collective nouns for these birds, let me know. Yeah, uh, fuck off, I don't care. A committee, a group of vultures is called a committee, venue or vault when resting, a kettle when flying in a, no one cares. No, come on.

Committee of Lulters is called our freaking parliament, am I right? Yeah. Government. Yes. Shitting on their own legs. Yeah. Which is fine, which they're allowed to do. Nasty.

It's cool. It's cool. It's not because he had 20 wines before midnight. We're political again. She started slipping snacks. to the birds, which are native to North America. That grew to her putting out about 50 pounds of raw chicken each week until

the county sent her a warning. That's a dick, dick's worth of raw chicken. So much chicken. That's so much chicken. How did it grow to that? One little time, I guess. Yeah, it's like, you don't notice sometimes you're like, well, maybe I'll get a couple extra thighs. Yeah. You know, and then all

of a sudden, that's 25 kilos of raw chicken, baby. She said she stopped for years, but then last August, about 20, vultures landed in her yard again. The birds appeared underweight and some shivered with cold, she wrote. I felt absolutely

imperative to feed them to help them over the winter, no matter what the authorities say the letter stated. Yes, fuck the police. Those are her values and she's living by them. Yeah, got to respect that. Is it bad for the vultures? Are we, are we, is it bad for the vultures?

Is it bad? I don't think so. I mean, are we domesticating them by accident? Maybe we should. Sun began leaving cat food out for the vultures, sometimes more than 40 cans per day, before switching to raw chicken. Sick. Throughout the winter, Sun estimated, she fed hundreds of vultures more than 200 pounds of chickens per day, totaling more than 10,000 pounds. Oh, my God.

Yeah, okay. Imagine looking outside and there's like there's 80 vultures in your neighbor's yard and a pile of raw chickens. That's like 100 chickens, right? Like, give or take. Is that right? Yeah. How much does it anyway? Yeah.

10,000 pounds of raw chicken. So five tons, five tons of raw chicken? Yeah. That's a lot of raw chicken. And they're like regurgitating that all over like the neighborhood playground and stuff. Yeah. I bet a fucking HOA probably hates this shit. Oh God, we didn't have a rule about this.

Turn the public space into like fucking, I don't know, the fourth episode in a Diablo game. Yeah. Thinking about the Facebook community page in this area. Anyone else kind of annoyed at the vultures? I'm making a lot of chicken wings sometimes and like prepping them all or like, you know, cutting them apart into like wings and flats. And I'll be thinking a lot of chickens. A lot of chickens died for this meal.

for this. And that's like four kilos of chicken wings. And you have, that gives me a sense of this is a lot of chickens. You do that thing to be like, do I weigh this by soul? Like, is this like how we're counting the,

the effect I'm having on the on the world? Or is that like? I've only got the wings. And that's not even most of the chicken. No. You'd almost feel bad about eating meat if you thought about it. Yeah. No,

no, So if we say a pound of chicken, 10,000 pounds of chicken, this woman, not responsible for, but the recipient of the deaths of 10,000 chickens, to sustain a couple of hundred vultures? A couple of hundred vultures. Like, you're not utilitarian-wise, you're not, this is not morally correct what you're doing.

You can almost take this as a microcosm of the idea of, it does almost seem like eating animals might be bad. What I'm thinking about it. Yeah, crazy. Court records show the county first received a complaint about the vultures on January 9th and confirmed their presence the following month with two inspections. Yep. They're vultures.

I'm thinking they're vultures. I'm thinking with vultures. Snap and just showing up, looking outside and just like, yep. Rolling stop in the car. You're not even like window down. Yep. There they are. Back out the cul-de-sac.

Okay. I'm getting out of the car. I'm saying, I do declare those appear to be 80-some vultures. Officials sent Son a warning and gave her until April 3rd to clean up to decomposing chicken from her property.

Throughout the spring, Sun continued feeding the vultures and filed appeals to the county orders. Like his neighbors, Sun's husband, Chang Zhao, had enough. When she appealed the first county order in March, he filed for divorce. it's me or the vultures

it's the fucking vultures oh shit dude or do you think maybe she can't help it like she wants to stop but she's like it's a compulsion no i think i think this is like the last straw this is the straw that broke the camels back on this divorce it's like she's been doing this shit forever i'm sure

yeah if it wasn't vultures it'd be something else it'd be the vultures alone would probably be fine you know like if it was just one thing probably feeding 10,000 pounds of chicken disavulches that were ruining our neighbourhood would probably be like bad. Bad, but maybe something you could

have a conversation about. Yeah, or like an oddity that you can put up with to be like, well, you know, she's kind of weird, but I love her. In with a marriage counsellor, I am divorcing her because she has fed 10,000 pounds of rotting chicken to her to hundreds of vultures that won't stop coming to her house. Okay, but what's this really about?

What's under the surface here? They have no fault divorce? Because I think this one probably counts as a fault. I think it's some fault divorce. What do we mean when we say vultures? What's that an excuse to talk about? What do you think the vultures represent? What do you think the rotten chicken that you're talking about represents?

Trying to avoid using you language or accusative language. You fed all these vultures. You brought vultures into our yard. I felt, I feel surrounded by vultures. Someone. I feel disgusted by. the rotting carrion that is coating the inside of our yard. When you feed 10,000 pounds of rotting chicken to vultures in our yard, it makes me feel.

Yeah. Stinky. I feel stinky. Marriage councillor going, what does this represent? Actually, now that you say it, I can't smell it on both of you. Yeah. I could kind of, when you were in the waiting room, I started to, what? Anybody?

And then when you came in it kind of hit me like a wet glove to the face. Shiao, who also was named at the county's violation notice, testified that he was not part of the feeding operation but acknowledged paying for the chicken. Okay. Okay, so he's accessory to feeding vultures.

Honey, I need $1,000. Chicken money again? Maybe. Oh, go on then. Here you go. If a man won't pay for your ton of chicken, he's trash. Yeah. Throw the whole man out.

And if he wasn't doing it, it would drive it underground. She would be getting like credit cards off on the side. It would like be, I'm glad they're talking about it. Loan sharks. Yeah. Yeah. There's a photo in this article. A shark for chicken carcass.

Someone snapped of her car boot open and just full of just like. It's not like, you know how you go to the butcher of the deli counter and you're just getting a bag full of chicken. This is packaged. Or like a red rooster car might be driving around with a big pile of them in the back. Well, I mean, let's not go crazy. There might be a single layer of cardboard underneath the roast chickens that are in the boot of the red rooster car. It's just a car boot for raw chicken. And that's nasty.

That's nasty. In that Baltimore heat, that Baltimore. The Baltimore son. Baltimore. The Baltimore son. On July 21st, after the Health Code Department took a case to district court, associate district

gludge, Associate District Judge, Claude de Vastie Claude Davasty found son guilty on a civil charge of repeated failure to cease feeding vultures. Is that a specific violation? That's a quote. It's in quotations.

repeated failure to cease feeding vultures. Wow. You can't change the rules just because you don't like how I'm doing it. I know it's a very technical use of the word failure there, but it's so funny to sort of frame it, not as in repeated feeding of vultures. Yeah. It's like, I tried.

I tried so hard. I just can't stop. Sometimes people just can't help themselves, you know. She, yeah, she's got a problem. She's got a problem. It's a disease. Yeah. The only cure?

More chicken. More chicken. More chicken. Why do we give her the job feeding the vultures at the zoo or something? Yeah. Isn't it like a gas station zoo? Yeah. She can be the vulture lady.

Yeah. A zoo attached to a Walmart somewhere close. It's not going to be enough for her. Like the zoo is going to be like holding her back going. They only need to be fed like twice a day. You've already fed them twice and it's nine 30. Okay. We'll get more vultures then.

Get more vultures. I'm not, I'm not satisfied. It's not my fault. You don't have enough vultures. Yeah. A day later, she filed an appeal. Tardy's in the case is scheduled to appear in circuit court for another trial October 13th. I'm not a lawyer, legal scholar, paralegal.

On what grounds are you like, okay? What's the appeal going to? Well, I should be, I should be let to. I should be let to. But I love them. They're also, I think they're a protected species as well, maybe, these black vultures. So, you know, maybe she's, you know, she's helping out. Maybe that's what it will be.

Maybe someone's going to be like, hey. Who knows? Maybe she's got a great lawyer. Maybe she's going to win this. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe she didn't get a lawyer from a billboard. It's like a proper guy.

It's a real guy. She's going to get in front of the judge, say, I appeal on the basis of agree to disagree. Yes. You know? Can't we have disagreements anymore? No. Not with how we stopped that. Yeah.

Oh. Consensus reality now. It looks like until October 13th, there'll be nothing to report about this case. We talk about there being nothing to report in the Nothing to Report report report, report, report. It's the nothing to report, report, report, report, report, report. There nothing to report, report, report, report, report. The nothing to report, report, report, report, report. What happened?

Nothing. Shh. So you should mind your fucking business. It's love. Nothing to report, report, report, report, report. Nothing to report, report, report, report. Nothing to report, report, report. Report, report.

It's coming to us from WJBF in Georgia. Mystery business coming to Wilkes County. Mystery business. Mystery business. Paramo. Yeah. Yes. Yep.

Don't know. Okay. Definitely what we're all thinking. Ben doesn't listen to music. I've seen Paramore live. Thank you very much. Wow. Okay.

Soundwave? Did she play sound? She? I believe that the biggest name is Paramore. Yeah, basically. Paramour. I mean, was it audible? If so, I think, yeah, they were playing sound waves.

That's really funny. Jesus Christ. It's really, really, really funny. That's really good. That's great. That's an awesome dude. A new business is coming to Washington in Wilkes County. What the business will be is currently a secret as construction continues.

The building is currently called the Pink Palace. It's not the official name, just a placeholder because of the pink look it used to have. Okay. And doesn't anymore. We have no fucking information whatsoever. Great. The building used to be pink. The owner has a face.

Facebook page tracking the progress of construction. The project began in January. People have been guessing what the business will be in the comments of posts. The building comes with much history. In the 1930s, it was a gas station. At one point, it was an antique shop. Quote, the community is so interested in this project because it stood empty for so long, Washington Chamber of Commerce Executive Director Jerry Powers said.

What they've done so far is such a massive change that everyone is queuing into all these guesses about what it could be. It's probably Asi Boles Yeah It's frozen I would put down $200

That it's going to be called something and co Spoons and co Spoons and co And it's frozen yogurt Yeah What's the What's the deal

With all of the like Amper Sand businesses You guys Yeah What's the deal with that Someone and co But it's not like Who's the Co?

It's like Who's the Co? I'd like like to meet the co? Bring the co out here. Where are they? Yeah, you're right. Do you guys have a co?

It's like table and co. Yeah, table and co. Chair and co. Spoons and co. I'm seeing the spoons, but I don't see any go. That'd be a whole 23 minute episode, by the way. Well, obviously, Kramer would have a side plot going on. But Jerry's in a business and he's been in there for hours.

They keep saying, can I help you? He says, nah, just waiting to see the co. Hope me to see some co. I noticed on the side that you've got some co. I see the spoons. I'm looking at the spoons, the great spoons, but I'm more interested in the co. Stupid. It's so awesome.

I love watching whenever, like, Jerry Seinfeld is on, like, a comedy panel or in a documentary about, like, the magic of laughter or whatever, where he talks about his craft, like, his, you know, Hattori Hanzo. Like that every day he forges the sharpest jokes in the world. And then it's an episode where he's walking around going, I haven't seen any co. It is inside a.m. It's almost five. Where's the co?

Tell us. It's a documentary that he was in called comedian, where there was like, it was post, it was after Seinfeld had finished. And he did his, like, this is my big final stand-up comedy. show. And then he started

touring again to work up new material because as he says that this thing is like, so I was doing my hour of comedy that I have been doing for the last 20 years. That's cool. And the last 20 years

was just him going. And then you get on the plane and they give you these little bags of peanuts. Although did you see that he thinks that like audiences are too woke now? No, he doesn't. He has revised his position. He revised his position.

I saw a very recent video of him. Lower the age of consent. Yeah. Laws are fake. I saw a very recent video of him where he said, yeah, a little while ago I said that like audiences are too sensitive now and everyone's woke and shit

and you can't make jokes anymore and he says, which is funny because you can turn on like a comedy like a quote unquote woke comedy on Netflix or whatever right and just see like someone's asshole on the screen, right? Like it'll just be someone's exposed asshole. Kind of like one specific example that you're thinking of.

But you can see it if you want to go on there. I like seeing the, there are people that are kind of trying to operate at the edge of being like, well, my politics are defined as being good. I am like, I'm progressive. You know, I have all the right values. So now I'm safe to make fun of the groups that I'm now like. So you'll see like,

cis comedians doing trans material. And like they are on such a knife edge where sometimes everyone's like, I saw one, there's a clip going around. I can't remember what the comedian's name is. I feel terrible. But it's a joke about her being like, I have one tip for queer businesses. You need to be open sometimes. That's a fucking great joke.

That's pretty good. And then she talks about that she was like, she was buying stickers or a t-shirt or whatever for trans artists that she really likes. And they got an email. like a month later being like, I'm so sorry, I forgot to send this out. And she's like, oh, I didn't pay that money because I wanted to get the stickers. I'm just glad you existed. I just wanted to support that.

Were you like that? You know what? That's maybe could be lightly patronizing. I'm sure that probably doesn't reflect the experience of a ton of trans people. But there is something universal in that like you see the cute queer bookshop that's literally open for like three days a week for three hours. You're like, how are you doing this? Whatever.

And then there are other people that try to do it. There'll be like a cis man being like, well, There is one thing I dislike about trans people, and everyone in the comments is like, no, no, no, you have gone, you've gone too hard on this. You have, like, but they're trying to figure it out. And I think that's what we're trying to do as well. We actually love Italian Americans.

Oh, love them. That's why we're allowed to joke about them. I think it's fine. You know, hearing people talk about comedy is possibly the worst thing. Possibly the worst comedy. Yeah, so it'll probably be a business that sells some, like, cheap shit or whatever. this was definitely an episode of the podcast, Bonta Vista. Thank you so much for listening.

We are doing a live show in Melbourne on September 11 at Keeper Brewing in Brunswick East. At this juncture, we are sold out. But we are, that might be it, but it might not be. We're going to see what we can do. If you are like... Keep the ear to the ground. Keep your head on a swivel. If it has ruined your life that the way you get information

from this podcast is from hearing it and it's not from Instagram posts or Patreon posts and you're like gutted that you can't make it Mailbag bonavist.com I would like to know how many of you there are and what we can possibly do to

sort of something. We didn't mean for this to happen. We'd get up to you. Last show didn't... Lucy winked when she said that. Yeah. Yeah, no, we didn't expect this to happen so it's sold out. I thought.

This was the perfect number, which is why I'm hoping that no one is going to be mad. Absolutely, everybody who wants to go is there. The last single ticket holder, who is a person who bought a one for, which we could read their name out on the show. Which we do frown upon. They're exactly the last person to get one. Also, the split is kind of funny. Like, I think, like, the majority of tickets were bought in multiples, a lot of singles tickets. We said this at the Brisbane Live show.

as well. We get a lot of singles tickets. Where else are you going to fucking meet someone, you know? It'll be a nice convivial atmosphere. We're going to be hanging out after the show as well. It's going to be some beer? Some bruskees.

Some really fucking good-ass pilters. If you like Pilsder, you've got to fucking love the venue that we have chosen for this show. You've got to go absolutely crazy. That's it. Thank you so much for joining us. If you want more of this,

Patreon.com, such one of vests, two episodes every week. We might talk to you in one of those. Bye. Bye. Bye.