Boonta Vista - EPISODE 459: Jeople Of Interest

Episode Date: August 23, 2026

Lucy, Theo, Andrew, and Ben bring you: A new frontier for Yo-Chi, the discovery of a lost fire hydrant, solving a wedding crime the hard way, and several nested sidebars. *** Outro: Pour Dampness Down in the Stream - Ryley Walker, Kikagaku Moyo *** Get tickets to the second Melbourne live show here: boontavista.com/sloppyseconds *** Support our show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista *** Email the show at [e-mail]! Call in and leave us a question or a message on 1800-317-515 to be answered on the show! *** Website: boontavista.com Twitch: twitch.tv/boontavista

I'm in couplet to the next one. That would have been amazing. Hello and welcome to Budavista. This is episode 459. I am Ben and I'm here in Manitoui. That's right. It's a reverse Ratatouille. With me is Theo, who is...

Yep. All right. So I guess in Ratatouille, the man is not a chef but wants to be a chef. The rat is a chef, but is a rat. And his only way to be a chef is, by manipulating. I don't understand the neural,

the physical pathways that cause this to happen, but tugging on the man's hair controls his actions. Ah, oh, yeah. Also for me, but it only makes one thing happen. I'm standing on a little rat

and he's running on his wheel. And I'm going, yippee, I'm finally a rat. Is that what's happening? I'm mandatoring the rat. Yes, so the rat doesn't know how to be a rat and the man is really good at being a rat.

Yeah, I'm pulling on on its little rat. raties and go run run run run but the man is also a chef because it's the the man can cook really well yeah because now it's the opposite still wants to be a chef there's still a chef scenario he doesn't just want to be a better rat somewhere yeah i don't give a shit about that i want to be a rat more than he wants to be a chef and i'm on top so yeah it should be it should be a clean swap like if if if really it should have freaky friday did it yeah should have well no i think they just have the attributes the other wishes to possess, and the hair mechanism works both ways, and they take

turns living double lives as a proxy. So that he gets to be a rat, because it'd be super fun. Yeah, okay. And the chef, the rat still gets to be a chef. Mm. Right? So that's manit, that's manitui. That's manitui?

Okay. Manitui. Yeah. So with me is Lucy. Mm-hmm. So I guess he... They live in the sewers instead of work in a kitchen. Am I in a separate manatee?

No, you're another character in the manatee. Sorry, Theo was, I think. But I'm not manitooeing? You're the brat equivalent of the head, the sous chef that he falls in love with. Okay. Except you're like the Sue rat. I'm the Sue rat. Okay.

And it's not me that's falling in love with you. It's my rat. It's the... What's happening in the... No. Who's got the wheel? I've never seen Ratatooie. Who has the free will in this?

Is it the rat? Haven't seen it. They've both got free will? They both have free will? To the extent that we all have free will. Let's not get to work. Don't take it be ridiculous. No, okay, so the rat doesn't have the confidence to woo the Sioux rat,

but the man is able to force him into romantic situations by manipulating the hairs on the rat's head to steer him, to pilot him. Right? Okay. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. So I'm a sexy. rat.

That's, okay, that's it, okay. It's your dream, Lucy. I don't think any of us said that,

but if that's... Huge tities. Are they dragging them around like male rats drag their nuts around? Like rat tities? How many of them are there? Why not?

Why not? Probably 12. Six. At least seven. Eight. How many rats? Like that one dancer from Jabba's Palace.

You know what I'm talking about, fellas? No, I don't really remember Stowe's. All right. Also, this Andrew, who is, now I guess sort of the Chef Gusto equivalent would be

he's secretly, there's a deceased rat who is like the best at being a rat that the rat is a descendant of. And I'm the ghost of this rat? You're the ghost of the dead rat who is like a beloved rat who fell on hard rat times and then died of sadness. Oh, anyone can dig into a bag of garbage. I need that of the field's dape.

Yes. That's it. Oh, fuck me. Sorry, Ben. I haven't seen it. What do you mean? You haven't seen it either? No.

You're telling me, it's a very strong point of reference. I'm aware of the concept, maybe. We've talked about Ratatoui so much on this podcast. Yeah, I know. And I didn't want to make a scene about it. It's really delightful.

The rat on his head. Also, Lucy was, Lucy was dead on the rats do have 12 nipples. Are you serious? Yeah. I've posted a very helpful comparison at the chat there for you. I was kind of a rat tits. Rats, I guess they've got 12 nipples, 12 nipples.

I'm counting them. I'm counting them like rain man with the toothpicks on the ground. 12 teats. See a rat. I'm like 12 titties. Going back on that ABC quiz show. What's your area of specialization? Nipples.

Any animals. Name any animal. I got it. Tom Gleason's looking at the camera like get a load of this fucking bizarre lady. You're the teat lady? And then he's rude to you. That's kind of his get down. All right.

So we're talking they've got a first pair of cervical nipples. Second pair cranial thoracic. Caudal thoracic, abdominal, cranial inguinal. And of course, cordal inguinal. All as it should be. What about cordial? lingual because there's pasta Why is there a picture of a human woman in this

diagram that you've posted? To compare I think it's like, oh she's got two mammals, rat has 12 Yeah, and then dog has six In the middle? Yeah I think they're 10 on the dog in the middle That's 10. There's 10 of them. I can just see these Like as soon as I see it, I know the number. Oh, you can't see numbers and then you know the number in your head.

If I see nipples, I just know the number. It's really quickly. I think the rats got too many nipples. I wasn't looking at the nipple picture anymore. It's 10. Rain Man, if he counted nipples. If I see a number, I know what number it is. I've got it like Rain Man. 12. That's 12. It's the scene from Rain Man, but somebody drops a card onto the floor with the number 12 written on it. He looks like 12, 12, definitely 12. 12. Oh, take him to the casino. There's an holistic by counting the number of dots on the dice. One, two, six. He's like blackjack and they turn over with 10 and he goes 10. Oh, the pit boss comes over and goes,

Hey, is that guy counting cards? Get him out of here. I think he's just counting numbers. He's just counting one card. I think he can count the number that's on the card. Sex. Dafferoy sex. That's fine.

Leave him to it. He doesn't know the rules of the game at all. He's not participating and he's losing quite, badly because he's saying what his cards are out loud while he's looking at them. Yeah, World Series of Pokery peaks under his cards. Definitely tan. Rain Man goes out in the first round again. I love the idea that they allowed him to register.

Just under the name, Rain Man, the nickname he has for his brother. that's true he's not the rain man is he but it's funnier to say that someone is being a rain manning right now it's Tom Cruise's character becoming like a pedant like about Frankenstein's monster

but actually the rain man was Tom Cruise's character yeah you're referred to the rain man's monster spoiler alert for a fucking 40 year old movie Tom Cruise's character Raymond And also where the name of the

I know the piece is fit. It comes from. Oh, hey, that was a terrible intro. Maybe I should have just dumped it. We talk about things that should be dumped in dump it. When the story ain't funny enough. Don't it. When there ain't enough funny stuff.

If you want the show to be good, then gone and dump all that stuff. All right, I'm going to keep this real short because there's not that much interesting about it. Guys, get ready to drag this out. 40 minutes. All right, so you guys remember how Guzman I Gomez did a big rapid expansion in the US, mostly in Illinois, and then they called it quits. Like a couple of months ago, they said, all right, we are stupid. That was stupid.

We're out of here. Yeah. You know what? Dump it. Dump it. Dump it. Well, following in their stupid footsteps, Yochi is about to open their first U.S. store in Dallas, Texas.

I think the U.S. has frozen yogurt. I think they might have it. I've got Froyo. I just don't know. I don't know how this is going to go for them. Obviously, as we've discussed previously, Yogi bizarrely successful over here. It's always popping off.

I don't think I've ever seen a Yotee in my entire life. What the... There's no way you live in Brisbane. You haven't seen a Yonzie. Yocchi. Where? There's like 30 yoschis in Brisbane. But there's like 75 yoschis in Australia, I think.

Something along those lines. You've definitely seen one. The tree house of horror episode of the Simpsons where they say Froggard. Froggard, yeah. The Frigot is also cursed. It's from October 1992. What's the deal? Why don't we call it Froggard anymore?

Why not? What about it happened to Froggut anymore? There's a whole Seinfeld frozen yogurt episode as well, right? Where the whole thing of it's new and it's healthy. Yeah, it's low fat. fat, but it's not low fat and they're all getting fat. So we're probably, culturally, we've had, in the zeitgeist,

Frogett for like 30 years. So I don't know if they've got anything extra. 1990 is actually more than 30 years ago, Ben. That doesn't sound correct. I can't do the maths on the fly. Well, yeah, they're going to get fucked up. Look, I wish them the best of luck. I just don't know if they're going to,

because their thing over here has been, it's somehow become a third space. It's a Zoom or hangout. It's a Zoom or hangout third space for people that don't want to drink. Yeah. It's open late and it's like the one down here is like always at 10 o'clock at night. It's absolutely fucking loaded. It's so far ahead of this.

It's pumping. It's fiving. Well, we're actually very sort of, we're kind of cultural commentators. So we have to be tapped into these things. We don't participate. Kind of like, um. Yochie is not made it to the suburbs yet. There's yochi in the sub.

Dude, there's so much fucking Yotee in the suburb. You're surrounded by Yochi's. I checked. I'm not. I checked. I'm not. You've got to leave your house to see what's on in your son. I think you're probably looking at your phone when you go past the Yogi. Is there a Yogi curtain that I don't know of it?

Maybe it's a Yogi curtain. Maybe it's only like an inner city. Yeah, somewhere at Bronsloves. Maybe it's Buzwa. That's fucking nuts. So there's like basically none on the south side. I'm living in a Yotee dead zone. I can't get Yogi where I am.

That's crazy. Your closest one. If I touch someone's hand, I can tell if they've eaten frozen yogurt. Theo, did you actually look around where you live? There is one unbelievably close. I'm not just going to like, I'm not just going to stop at the Camp Hill shops for like, I've got no reason to go there. Take your boys to you.

I'm just going to take the Karagi. There's a very good Karagi place. There's one in Upper Mount Gravatt. I don't live it up in Mount Gravatt. Whatever. You live in, we don't have to get into detail about this, but you're not far from it. Oh, there's one in Garden City? There's one so close to you.

Okay, there's one in Garden City. There's one that is... Oh shit, they took over... Okay, all right, so this is what's happened. They've taken over the place that used to sell... Oh, fuck, what are the Spanish desserts? They're like long donuts. Choros?

Yeah, used to be a Truroes shop. I think they're Mexican. Yeah, they've paved the Churos shop and put up a yochie mart. Like San Churos? Like the, the chenuris. Is Santoro still a thing? It's chopped though. No, you're right.

That was the millennial third space for not drinking. I did go past this spot. I went past this spot when I was going to the movies. And there was fucking zoomers sitting on the path outside. Yeah, the zoomers love yuchi. That's so funny. It's like the club. Yochi is the club now.

Yochi is the club now. Yuchi is the club now. Is their mascot meant to be a koala? Probably. Could answer Lucy Yeah, probably Not my problem I'm contributing

I'm part of the conversation Oh yeah He's kind of like I guess Yeah he's got a little koala Yeah It's an odd rendering Of a koala

That's all I'll say That's all I'll say on that I don't want to get too into it But Very peculiar We got a lot of other stuff to say About Yochie We're so on top of culture

It's crazy They sell frozen yogurt. Is that the deal? Yeah, with toppings. Then you pay for it by weight. And it's always costs more than you think. Are there you cyballs any good? Who knows?

I wouldn't know. I'm not looking at it. I think assyballs chopped. I've never had one, but I think it's chopped. I watched, where was it? Someone I saw walked into a cafe I was in. No, in Queenstown. Someone walked into the cafe was like, do you have a saba bowls?

The person was like, no, it is like, okay. They walked out. Yeah, that was really me. That's me from an ultimate universe. There used to be an asai bowl place across the road for my work and it's shut down and now I've got to walk like, I don't know, like four blocks to get to the next asai bowl cat. You're a big assay bowl heads. This is interesting. Yeah.

You're chuffed. Just unexpected. That is washed and chubed. But I just wouldn't have, I wouldn't have expected that of you. Look, I have been feeding my body exclusively garbage for nearly four decades and also feeling like tired all of the time. entire life and like bloated and farting. And I go like maybe I want to like feel differently and I have an assaye bowl and I don't feel like I should die for like three hours.

So it's self-care. Sorry for calling you washed and chopped. No, I mean it is still, it's like we're past the point where that's the thing. Also it's like 20 bucks as well. So you can call me like I don't know if I can bourgeois or whatever. It's so expensive to buy an asai ball. No other lesson to be learned other than occasionally I need to eat an Asi bowl to continue living. Yeah, it's not about changing anything or taking anything at out.

Nothing holistic happening. I had one extra thing in. I've actually talking about being washed and chopped and trying to look after you gut by. I've been getting real big into kombucha approximately 15 years late. Wow. Yeah, dude. Any good. Yeah, it's great, dude.

Man, the kombucha check, like the tech must be pretty crazy at this stage, right? What would have changed? What were they? The tech? The tech? The tech itself is actually quite old school. Yeah, I think that's kind of one of the things about it. Historically.

Okay, but like, how can we disrupt it? Fomentation. Yeah. I want like the juicerro for kombucha. Yeah, that probably exists. You just got a little machine. The booch comes out. And then the booch comes out.

And then the booch comes out. You squirt and boot? Can't get a squirt of that, bitch? Just a squirt of the bitch. Hey, can bootcha with a scobie in it. Kind of nasty. It kind of looks like a bit of a mystery liquid. We talk about mystery liquids in mystery liquid.

Mystery liquid. Can't tell what color it is with a slick oily sheen. What could it mean? Mystery liquid. I see some good. That is forming a pool on the floor Who is it for? I'm going to taste the mystery liquid.

I'm going to taste the mystery liquid. This comes to us from WJTV. Mystery Water leak in Clinton found by 10-year-old. Good, promising stuff. Now, a little bit of a sidebar here. I you know how when they do like old school style news articles they have a little like the place where it's happening and then a dash and then it goes into the article

you know how they do that? Yes yeah yeah so it's like yeah Winchester the scene of yeah whatever Yep exactly like that So this one had Clinton miss M-I-S full stop after it and I was like oh Is there a Mr Clinton? Is that?

Yeah famously yes I was like, oh, is that Clinton, Missouri or Clinton, Mississippi? So I've gone into my web browser. I've typed in Clinton, Miss, and then the first two results that come up underneath Clinton, a township in Missouri or Clinton, Township, Mississippi. I'm like, that's not very helpful. That's not very confusing, yeah.

So then I've tried to Google, sort of in the style of an idiot, is MISS, full stop, Mississippi or Missouri. The first result takes you to a Quora question. Let me read the Quora question to you. Is there a state called Mississippi or Missouri? Ah. Yes, there is a state called one of those things. And then the answer. The lost knowledge.

Yes, it looks like this is another bogus question. Please stop setting out request for answers for bogus questions like these. Yeah, let's keep Quora. I mean, yeah. Let's just decide which questions can be bogus and which ones can be real. That's right. Yeah, who gets to decide? Who's the answer?

of what's a real question and what's a bogus question. Do we work it out? I would go with Mississippi. I've actually got so distracted by this part that I don't think I've finished looking up. I did find out, however, because the fucking stupid AI garbage bullshit that came up first gave me this answer. Both Miss Missouri and Miss Mississippi are active separate preliminary competitions for the Miss America pageant. Shut the fuck up. Nobody asked.

Tabitha Crayon is Miss Missouri, 2026, and Jane Granberry is Miss. Mississippi, 2026. Tabitha Cray and Jane Graham. Tabitha Cray and Jane Granberry. He is like one third of a conversation. And he's like, actually,

in Nijago Land, the Green Ninja is actually represents. Come on, dude. Hey, Ben, I see you're using the sidebar. So do you mind if I use the footnote real quick? Yeah. If you're taking up the sidebar, can I have a footnote?

There is face of the footnotes, I guess. I'm kind of Terry Pratchett style. You know, some little additional musings. Well, I was thinking more like, like Infinite Jess style sort of... I haven't read it. I've seen it in your house

but that's the closest I've come to reading it. You've seen it in my house? Where is it? I've seen it in your house. I can't find that fucking book anywhere. It was in your old house so this information is no longer useful to you.

But it was in your office, if it helps. Do you guys know what Scobie? What the word Scobie comes from? Self-contained, underwater breathing yaparatus. You are so close. Symbiotic culture of bacteria and yeast. Oh, wonderful.

It's an acronym. Well, it sounds yucky. I thought it was just a nasty word that sounds like the kind of shrieking with a scab that you've picked. Yeah. Gross. Oh, dude, it's gone old scobie. You've got to go to scobie.

This is good stuff. If this was in a stand-up routine. Shut up. 20 years ago. What's the deal with frozen yogurt? Frozen yogurt and kombucha. Yes, doge. We don't drink kombucha anymore.

We drink probiotic soda. Well, that fucking, I don't even get. No, literally don't get a stab. Please, please don't get a start. Just so that you remember, if Cray and E.C. Miss Missouri at me, if Granbury at Art. Here's the article. After the city of Clinton asked residents to help find a leak

after an unexplained loss of water, officials announced the leak was found in an unexpected place. So there's a citywide leak issue. Like somewhere the town should... water supply. He's losing pressure. Yeah. Like the whole, the city has sprung a leak.

Yeah. According to the city, a 10-year-old Clinton resident who was exploring made the discovery in a wooded area. Fuck you. That's so nice to hear of a 10-year-old exploring. In a wooded area and making a discovery? Oh. That's not a stash of porno mags?

These porno mags are all wet. Oh, my God. alerting the sheriff immediately the city said an old fire hydrant had been installed years ago for a subdivision that was never completed over time the area became overgrown and a fallen tree damaged the hydrant causing the water to escape unnoticed now i'm going to post a photo of this in the chat for you because this has a very like i guess kind of a spirited away type energy to it to me Oh wow

That's a beautiful photo Isn't it a stunning image? Just a beautiful knob sticking out of the undergrowth Oh come on Little red rocket There's no reason to talk like that I don't think that's what Ben Was feeling when he saw this

I thought this was a completely beautiful odd image of an old-timey like Americana 1950s red classic fire hydrant buried in the undergrowth in a forest that was meant to become a subdivision but never did. And instead, you'd do a little pecker jokes. Little jokes about nasty little peckers and stuff.

See, Ben, I was imagining a fireman on a walk through the woods. And this is like his Narnia-type gateway. This is the thing. It's just growing out of these tree trunks here. Where everyone is a firefighter and everything. They're all shirtless. They're all shirtless all the time. Now, riddle me this.

In firefighter world, is everything on fire or nothing? Nothing. Yeah, do they want no fires or do they want tons of fires? What do they want? What do they want? If they get there and there's no fires, are they like, yeah, it's like, I guess it's nice, but I don't know what to do with myself. Yeah, I feel kind of bereft of a race on der Tra. I feel like I am my job. Like, I can't be detached from what I do. And if I'm not fighting a fire, then who am I? If I'm not fighting a fire, am I a firefighter? How much of the impact do you think it has on somebody's self-conception

when their job has like something man at the end of it, you know? I don't think we do that anymore. You are a fireman, a police man. Yes. Wow, that's literally what I am. A bar man. I'm a podcast man. Yes.

I can see me like one of the podcast guys. One of the podcast men. Just one of the podcast guys. Quote, our young explorer spotted it, told an adult, helped public works finally track down the source of the mystery leak, city leaders said. What started as a citywide search ended with a pretty great reminder. Clinton belongs to all of us and everyone can play a part in taking care of our community. It feels like 19 different things have to go wrong to get to the state where you've got like 10-year-olds wandering the woods looking for your leak.

So they built the subdivision. They pumped it all in. They ran water to it. Ran water to it. didn't build it, didn't close the big valve to the, or they didn't have a big valve to this? Yeah, wouldn't there be like a master, like a couple of things so you could shut off sections? You'd shut off sections and like, check it, like, this seems crazy to me. This seems like they're like not even.

They're not even trying. Not even trying. Why don't we have fire hydrants like the US does? I think we just have like a thing underground that you just connect a hose. too, right? Yeah. And ours is sort of, ours is internal.

That seems smarter than having a whole thing where all the parking rules revolve around it. It still has like all the same bits to it. This is terrible stuff. Well, when the fireman gets there, he pulls back the hood. Okay, all right. There's a sort of phallic protruding. external whereas ours are sort of inward hidden

yonick and it doesn't make it cleaner just because it's out there you know yeah if anything it makes it dirtier it's getting more like break dust petrol lead on it profoundly beautiful image I just thought that this was there was an air of magic

to it's a beautiful image it is beautiful and magical and it also looks like a little pecker yeah another sidebar sorry. I'm using the other sidebar, I guess, because the footnote's been used up. I mean, the back notes are still available.

I'm just sitting in the middle. I'm staying right here in the middle. It's right in the text. And me, I guess I'll just stay in the text. I guess I'm just in the text. I never stand out. Americans fucking love videos of or photos of

when firefighters have like, someone's parked in front of a fire hydrant. And so they've smashed through the windows of the car. Yeah. To hook up to the fire hydrant. I got to ask one question. Your hoses can't go over or under or around the car. You couldn't go over.

The roof is right there. Yeah. You just wanted to smash somebody's windows because you're mad. Maybe they had an emergency and they had to park there. Maybe their wife was in labour. Maybe their wife was in labour. Maybe their grandma was in labour. If they're allowed to, tell me you're not smashing that window.

If you're like a fire person. It seems petty. It seems like a personal grievance. And you're like, it says in the book you can smash that window. You're smashing that window any day of the week, right? If I'm a firefighter and there is an opportunity to chop through a door with an axe, I am never trying to handle. I think it's locked. Have a check.

It feels locked to be. It's just locked. I'm going to get through this door. Yeah, my axe is already swinging. Instantly. That is cool that we do have like a type of job you can have where you get a sick looking axe, like with the pointy bit on the other side as well. You're like a ripper from last century hero. Yes.

Yes. We don't have that anymore. Most people aren't equipped with an axe. Or like the fire axe from the Shining. I don't have any examples of a fire axe. Hey, for most other people, smashing windows because you didn't want the hose to have to go an extra meter would be considered a crime.

We talk about crimes in Crime Watch. This comes from CNN. Wedding Day theft. resolved by off-duty deputies. Hmm. Mm-hmm. A Washington State couple's wedding day was nearly derailed when a thief stole essential items for the ceremony and reception, but off-duty deputies in the wedding party saved the day.

Alex Morris, the groom, said he was already nervous on his waiting day, but the situation worsened when a thief stole Bluetooth speakers, gallons of alcohol, and other drinks intended for the event. GALANS. I wasn't worried about the Bluetooth speaker, but the gallons of alcohol. I need that for my wedding. Of alcohol. Welcome to the wedding. Here's your gallon of alcohol.

You guys got an open bar? Kind of. Hello, I'd like some alcohol. You can have four litres, eight liters, 12 litres or 16 liters. What would you like? Eight liter minimum. Oh, fuck it. I'll have a double. Sixteen gallons, please. Quote, I was sweating it out, Morris said. Morris and his then fiancé, Catherine, had invited 260 guests to their wedding. Despite the theft, Morris was determined to keep the incident a secret from Catherine. Quote, Catherine cannot know what's going on.

Perfect, perfect start to a marriage. That's all I can say. My wife's going to be so mad if she finds out, so I'm not going to let that happen. Don't tell her. Don't tell her. Don't tell her. Gallons! The wedding's ruined!

It's very funny to start your wedding day being like, oh, something's happening. the first thing I have to do is desperately try to hide it from the person I want to spend my life with. I'm buried, bury it, that's crazy guests. That's crazy. That's a big wedding,

that's too big. There's too many people. How many people are there that you don't like? Yeah, and how many people that you just don't fucking know at all? Yeah. Thanks for coming. Jenf.

Jenf? Jenf? It's Jenf, right? Genv. J-E-N-V? Jenf. Jennifer with a V. This is what, if you ever,

if you ever talk to somebody from like a Greek family or a Lebanese family, I don't know, and they're like, yeah, there were 300 people at my wedding and I didn't know a whole bunch of them and I'm getting introduced to people. And it's like, hi,

I'm your dad's barber. You know? Yeah. Yeah. I don't think I need him there. Your dad's barber's cousin. It's lovely to have you. Yeah,

I gave your dad's barber of vasectomy 20 years ago. I'm your dad's barbos, vasectionist. Greek mosleptomist, by the way. I'm your vasectomy doctor's exorcist. Now, say Monsignor in a Greek accent, I fucking dare you. Point taken. You know, it's kind of funny, is it like, maybe funny. Who knows?

I feel like we all could do like a passable imitation of what, like Italian sounds like or like what Spanish sounds like whatever or what those accents sound like I don't have a fucking single idea what Greek sounds like other than the ones that are in our scientific words or well yeah

or like names I don't know what the Greek language actually sounds like really what's the Greek word for the okay yeah correct could be yeah maybe you know like you'd think what's the Greek word for yes what's a Greek word for no I feel like most

languages. Yeah, you're right. You'd have like a vague idea. Yeah, isn't that weird? Why are we like so culturally out of touch with the Greek? They're everywhere. They're everywhere. They're everywhere.

However, keeping the secret proved challenging when the couple crossed paths before the ceremony. So this is classic sitcom episode stuff. He's, he's schfittson, you know, he's stressing it. And she's like, hey, what's up? And he's like, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. Just nervous, baby, you just look so beautiful. I ate some bad shrimp last night, babe.

It's up, sweetie. Nothing, no secrets. It's not a secret. This is like the classic mistake that someone would make in a rom-com is to do the lie, right? This is like the morality tale inside the thing. It's like you shouldn't have done the lie. You shouldn't have done the lie, Alex. How come you did the lie for, Alex?

How come, Alex? Also, was all the alcohol gone? Like, was there gallons remaining? What portion of the gallons of alcohol were taken? What portion of the alcohol was taken? Is gallons some of it or is gallons most of it? Is gallons all of it? It's, uh, hey Hollywood.

Can we have one rom-com where lying solves the problem? Yeah. Come on. I mean, let's be real. It solves lots of problems. Let's be real. I think we should make, uh, hey Hollywood, I like a segment that's in every episode.

Hey, Hollywood. Look, statistically, someone's problem out there got solved by a lie. Probably more often than you'd think. Absolutely. Oh, man, I had a, yeah, there's no way they could identify them from this. A friend of mine, I ran into yesterday, had gone to a play that a friend of theirs had directed, and it was terrible, like really, really, really fucking bad. and really long.

And then their friend that directed it didn't know that they were going to it. They hadn't told them. But then my friend and her friends that she'd gone with got spotted by the director on the way out. And like the other three friends had already left. And then she'd gotten a phone call

from that person being like, hey, let's catch up. And so she'd like dodge the phone call the first time. And then had come into the bar to be like, what do I fucking do? I don't want to lie, but I don't want to, you know. and then ended up getting a drink with that person who was lovely but had to like listening to her tried and be honest while not

like talking shit about it was incredible she pulled it off it was beautiful it was seamless but like trying on the classic I really like the lighting the props oh didn't do that either which is the classic move like oh the costume design was beautiful but just yeah, I don't know, it was really funny I was like, oh, you're in a

fucking, you're in a sign-filled situation currently. Good luck to you. I'm going to sit here and not engage at the conversation at all. Lying is good. That's the Bonta Vista position. Sometimes lying is good.

You just got to, you've got to trust your gut. It's like embassy town. Yeah. Right? There's definitely, there's definitely different types of, like, output or whatever,

where people feel more I don't know, invited or entitled to give like creative feedback, right? Yeah. So I feel like something like that. People feel like they have to go, here's my honest feedback about this creative endeavor of yours. Maybe you don't. Maybe just go, yeah, it was great. Can I get you a drink?

Had a lovely time. Going to get you with you. Yeah. Yeah. Just be like our friends. I'm so sorry. I just don't really listen to podcasts. Yep.

Yeah. I just haven't really had time. I just don't really have time to listen to podcasts. Great. I don't like podcasts or even I don't like your podcast. I don't like your podcast. I don't like you. But you do have to be our friends to say that.

Yeah. Yeah. It's really important. You can just say what people say, which is usually, it's a bit weird. It's a bit different. I'm not sure that I got it. I don't really understand it. I wish my wife hadn't been in the car when I put it on.

That was a mistake. Well, hey guys, while we're in the sidebar, can we have a quick anecdotally speaking? In the sidebar? Are you still in a sidebar? I think you're allowed to You can introduce anecdotes naturally if they come up. You don't need to,

you know, I'll play the stinger. I need the structure. It's also not called anecdotally speaking. It's time for anecdotally wild. Welcome to yet. Sorry, Stacey. Sorry, Ranger Stacey. Not Ranger Stacey, just Stacey.

The Parks Department does not want you to call a Ranger Stacey. Okay. So I've placed a picture in the Discord that I got of the thing that you were talking about earlier, someone smashed the car and window and put the pipe. Beautiful Subaru Foresty, yeah. Because, and I've gotten that while I was looking for this other story in the Discord, I got that picture on the way there.

So this is an anecdote from one of our friends in the Discord. It's four years old now, so it's past the Statue of Limitations. The one? Beautiful statue. The beautiful 12 foot tall, shining broad statue of limitations. It's got a tiny dick. It's got lots of things that doesn't do. It's like the statue of Lady Justice with the scales and everything,

except it's just a lady holding both of her palms out. So it shrugging like, ah. That was ages ago. My problem. The statue. It just says on the plaque. That was ages ago. So an NBN installer has gone to install a run to a basement.

And he has done so by taking the largest drill that he has with a like a three foot long masonry bit and just leaned on the drill to push a big hole through the brick wall. It has gone through the wall, through the car window on the. the other side. And then he has panicked, and I've just dropped the diagram that has been handcrafted by our lovely Discord friend. So he has panicked, run the cable run through the car with a hole drilled in the passenger window, through the garage to the interior box, and then marked the job as done. What?

Did he have to drill another hole on the other side of the car? I don't have the answer to that. It is literally going through the car. I wonder whether the other window was open. That's so fucking funny. Mondays, am I right? And his explanation was, I paddicked. I actually respect that.

I get it. Yeah. I'm going to go home and quit. I'm going to look for another job tonight. Just don't think about it right now. That's a tomorrow, Jeff problem. Yeah, as long as you've ticked it as done, it's going to be a little bit

before you hear about it again. Yeah, this is... And it's time to look for another job. This is hereditary, like, accident. Yeah, just keep driving. Right? You just got to... Just go to bed.

Just go to bed. It covers up over your head. Just hearing the sound of glass shattering, it'd be like, oh. Oh, okay. Well, I better get this done so I can hit the hay. It's like 2 p.m. Time for a little siesta.

I am out of here. Oh man. Hey, speaking of anecdotally wild. Yeah. You can use the margins, I think. We're still inside anecdotally wild. I mean, we have to get out of the anecdotally wild to get back to the story that we were in preview.

I want a sidebar inside the anecdotally wild. What would you like to do in here? So I went to a Red Rooster the other nights. Wow. Here we go. Friday night. Friday night. I picked the kid.

You're on blast. Actually, you know what? The goddamn economy's on blast. Yes. I pick up one of my kids from her dance class that finishes at like 7 p.m. on Friday. And I go, hey, why not make life easy for myself? I'm going to go through Red Rooster, through the drive-thruster. We get in there.

There's a couple of cars in front of us. Post up behind the car at the end of the line. And then like nothing happens for sort of 15 minutes, you know? And by this time another car is up my ass and I'm not going anywhere. It ends up taking 45 minutes to get through the drive-thru. Yeah, I think you're not supposed to go there. I don't think you're supposed to go to the Redoista. It's kind of a trap.

It's a trap. They don't want you to go there. It's a young players. Yeah. As I have eventually got around towards the window where you can see into the restaurant, I can see like kind of a nightmare scenario unfolding in there, which is... Yeah, it's Red Rooster, dude. You ever looked into a Red Rooster and everything's going well?

No, Red Rooster is like the normalist of all of the... I'm thinking KFC. I'm thinking KFC, where everything is on fire. I'm basically thinking about KFC. So we get around the side and I can see through the window and I can see the counter. And of course it's staffed by a bunch of teenagers of people in their early 20s or whatever. That's fine. But at the counter, like shoulder to shoulder, five dudes across delivery drivers, door dashes, all standing there, like, pelvises up against the counter, five across all holding their devices out at the guy behind the counter demanding their food.

Yeah. And like even while we were waiting in the line for the drive-thru, I'm just seeing this constant stream of cars pulling up and guys getting out with their bags and going inside. But the fucking energy on it of these like, yeah, guys all piled in jostling together, shoving their phones in this guy. We created like a new pair of enemies of like low-paid workers, which are like the Uber eats drivers and then the staff at a restaurant.

Workers against each other. But it also, it's created this thing where I'm like, I can't be mad at the fucking kids working at the Red Brewster. Can't be mad at anyone in this scenario. It's just. We're going to be mad at one person. The economy has changed and now everybody gets their door dashes in. But it made me go, oh, this is another one of these things where the restaurant as it existed before kind of doesn't, it's not fit for that. It's not for that.

It's not for that. It's no longer fit for you to walk through the door and all. order some food or go through the fucking drive-thru lane. If you use the traditional methods of getting food from them, you're a chump now because we've created the extra system where no one profits except

I don't know, the guys that have the apps. Jeff Uber. I think it's the people who invested in DoorDash or whatever. But yeah, like and of course my first impulse after this was to go well I guess like don't ever go through the fucking drive-through

on a Friday night again. Well, maybe, like, do it at lunchtime. That's fine. That's human. But doing it on, like, a Friday, that's just no good. I was like, I'll just go back to door-dashing my red rooster and becoming part of the problem. That's just, that's just, that's just part of the problem. Interview with, interview with a... Interview with a vampire.

Interview by a vampire? It's just like that. It's just like that. Interview to become a vampire. Can I get, sorry, quick, quick, quick, job interviewer of a bit of a just a clarification on the previous story

is this a sub is this a sub aside inside the anecdotally speaking sidebub on the question of the second window of the car he opens the driver door winds the window down pulls the cable through

plugs it into the connection box and closes the door again well I really appreciate him minimizing the damage yeah just one hole just one little hole in the car the job's done that's insane that's so like you clearly you are in panic mode and you've just like

the ability to think normally is completely left your brain like got to finish the job job must be finished already put the hole in the window so I got to go through there oh sorry if this gets someone fired I think there's um I think they might already be statue of limitations dude yeah statue of limitations that was ages ago that was ages ago man Years ago. There's one of two, if you're that NBN installer, one of two sounds is playing in your head as this happens. It's either the kill bill sirens the whole time

until you leave the property, or it's just like gentle waves crashing on a car. Oh, no, go flow. Yeah. I'm definitely doing the ending of pie. I've already got the drill. You've got the drill. I've already.

got the drill. Before turning the drill on himself. A masonry bit long enough to lobotomize yourself by going in through your ass. Oh, God. You're given Eli Roth ideas. No, he doesn't have any, don't worry. He wouldn't get any more.

No. Not a funny or smart. Not a good guy. good guy. He was very vindicated on Eli Roth. Yeah. Because like for how many years he's been making movies for the whole time I've gone,

I think he might actually be a really mean-spirited, bad person. What if we made movies about people getting hurt? Yeah. What about movies about people making friends? Hey, Hollywood. Hey, Hollywood. Hey, Hollywood. How about a cozy movie?

What about a cozy movie? What about a nice day? How about a movie with a one-act structure? and no complication. Linear. What if it was linear? Yeah. And what do they say

at the end of Lost in translation? I don't know. What do you tell me? Do you want to see my penis? It's probably that. I would have really liked to fuck you. Hey, Scarlett, you're hurt. Do you want to see me, Bill Murray's is a penis.

A little kiss on the cheek. Goodbye. Goodbye. I'm not actually. I'm Bill Murray from Christmas. we've really got stuff for every possible age bracket at this episode yeah 30 to 45 the full spectrum of ages

quote and she's like are you okay and I said yep she said what's going on I said nothing and I gave her a kiss and said everything is going to be okay I was trying to figure out what the fuck you were talking I was like, who they're? What woman? What woman? I just had the sensation of like being kicked backwards into a bath. Yeah, 100%.

I was actually with you because I was paying so much attention and I can kind of envision multiple threads at once. I understood inception too. Yep. It's not hard to be hard. It's really simple to understand. And they explained it like 30 times. We're actually a layer deeper.

I remember. from earlier. Thank you. It helps that they're in different settings, you know? Yeah. And the music is slower, the deeper they go.

It's like three or four levels deep at every level is just like the same office block. That's not, that's going to be trickier. That's basically primer. You're describing primer. Oh, never heard of it.

They're wearing the same clothes and they look the same, but there's literally no way to tell that they're different versions of each other. Haven't heard of them? Or primer. Yeah. That's what I've been told.

Yeah, I'm not going to call it Prima. Prima. I need to watch the Jason Statham movie Mutiny first. Oh, I am dead keen to watch that. I'm putting it on to download right now. Yeah, dude, I might watch that tonight. He's just making people on a shipping container boat. I'm going to fucking demolish a fat blood.

I'm going to delete some weed tonight and then I'm going to fucking watch the Jason Statham shipping container boat movie. I'm going to unalive some weed. I'm going to I'm going to low-key out of life this jazz cigarette and it's going to make me high from marijuana and then I'm going to watch a movie

Being 36 is awesome So cool So you started off your marriage with a lie He was asked Yeah we did We did ultimately He admitted Yep

Just getting out out of the way Oh yeah Oh big time You know I just want to get out in front of this I love lying to my wife me personally you know I'm not

I can't speak for Alex but I trust my wife you know I would say hey I trust your wife too well that's good she's a trustworthy person I'd be like hey we've lost some booze in a Bluetooth speaker

I'm going to send one of the 260 people that are here out to Walmart to buy both of those things and I will reimburse them later so basically the problem is solved babe I can't wait to shoot later. Solve the problem first, then tell your wife, then you can shoot later.

Yes. Shoot twice. In form, shoot. Yes. Simple. Then there's no lie. Solve the problem first. Then you don't have to lie.

Then you can shoot. Lie once. Shoot twice. It's better to ask for, no. Yeah. No, I don't have it. I don't know. I've got it.

Shoot twice, ask twice, right? Yeah. I'm calling the system the, So you solve in form, divulge that you did keep it a secret for a little bit, but until you sort it out. And then shoot later the SIDS system. You call me the SIDS. You don't want to move shooting in the timeline at all. No, shooting is solid.

The other is a little bit of like malleability between them. Shooting's got to be last though. Shooting's got to be last. And you know what? Shooting is awesome. I look forward to that step the most. security cameras at the venue captured footage of a Jeep driving

through the grounds in the hours leading up to the wedding Another fucking Jeep driver It's a Jeep driver What is up? Pull it up in your Jeep It's stealing a Bluetooth speaker And some alcohol

Gallons isn't that much right Your little ducklings He's got his little ducks Jack Daniels Duck on the wood That would be so awesome If that's how they identified them From their fucking Jeep ducks

One Tedpool, one Jack Daniels. Gonna pull this guy up on JDDB. Yeah, buddy of mine works at the department of Jeep Duck, so I'm just going to fax us off to him and he's going to tell us who it is. A guy come in here and buy a Jack Daniels duck recently. And then a smaller but quite cute and tasteful Deadpool duck as well. we got our burp. A group of roughly 250 soldiers is called a company.

You could send out a company. Company, yeah. A company. A company. A company. That's of wedding guests. Yeah, it's like it's verging on a battalion. It's on the edge of a battalion.

It's on the edge of a battalion, yeah. I'd love to be edging a battalion. Oh. Okay. It's sort of like... It's a busy day. Painting the Golden Gate Bridge. By the time we've got to the end,

you've got to get back to the start again. The first guy's losing his boner. Adding to their luck, several off-duty deputies were part of the wedding party and recognised the vehicle. So this was a known Jersen? Known Jeepel. I don't know if there were multiple people in such.

A deep person known to police. They're a known Jersen. John Sub. Wait a second. I don't know that Jeep. Oh. They quickly set out to track down the suspect, but time was running out with the ceremony just three hours away.

Are you fucking stupid? It takes 20 minutes to go to the shops. Go to Walmart. They sell booze. They sell Bluetooth speakers. Get the fucking JBL party speaker, and guess what? You get to keep it after the ceremony. You got the giant, like, keg-sized JBL party speaker now with the lights and everything.

You've got it, and it's yours. That's yours. That's yours. You unless a second robbery happens. The funniest thing you can do is come back and steal the next one. Whole wedding party, keeping an eye out for jeeps. We've got a couple of jeeple of interest. A couple of J-O-I.

Oh, you know. Wedding ruined by J-O-W. Nearly ruined. Nearly ruined. You don't want to tell your wife about the J-O-I. That's important. They quickly set out to track down the suspect. Time was running out. Quote, I asked him, I said, hey, man, do you think you can get those back by 2pm? And he looked at me, he said, we're going to try. Morris said. That's not very, it's not very committal, is it?

No. No, borderline non-committal. You got to say, don't even worry about it. I know you got a lot on your mind now. Yeah. You know, but we got it sorted. Yeah, don't worry. I promise you. I'm going to give it a reasonable attempt. Yeah, we're going to try.

We'll see what happens. Hey, I'll give it a go. The deputies succeeded in recovering the stolen items and the wedding proceeded as planned. Catherine remained unaware of the drama until Morris told her later. Quote, she was just so thankful everything had panned out the way it did in the end, Morris said.

And you didn't even have to face the music. The couple of strange vows, while the suspect, a 55-year-old local man was read his rights. The exact same time? We're cutting back and forth between these. Yeah, yeah.

We're sort of like almost drawing some sort of symbolic parallel between the two things happening at the same time into cutting the dialogue. How about this, Ben? He's being arraigned

and they're like, do you swear to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth and he holds his hand up? And then we cut to the husband going, I do. That's so good. That's so good.

Yeah. Hey Hollywood. How about comparing two things? Do you ever think about that? I just thought of doing that. Yeah. What about this? Alex was acquiring a ball and chain

while a 55-year-old man was being fitted for a ball and chain. They brought it back just for him. Yes. Putting the handcuffs on. Then we cut her putting the rings on. Because that's what it's like. Am I, right, fellas?

Yep. No, except for me. my wife who I love. Yeah, I love my wife so much. For everyone else though. Yeah. We all love our lives. I love all your wives. Not to sound not to brag.

Not the brag, but I didn't tell any lies in a sweaty panic on my wedding day. Yeah. She can't know. She can't know. It usually lasts longer than this. That's the first time I've ever

shoot it like that before. Whig! Wink. By the time the cake was cut, the case was closed. Not that good. Yeah, I guess. He still has to like... He still has to like...

Does he still have to go in front of a judge or something first? Yeah, the case isn't closed. I don't think the case is closed that quickly. He's going to have a court date way later and it's not really that big of a crime. So it's not really that important. It's not a movie. I hope this guy gets to use this article to be like, I can't get a fair trial now.

They've declared me guilty in the newspaper. Use this fucking podcast. The podcast has said that I was guilty and it's hugely popular so now you won't be able to get a fair jury trial. Yes. Yes. Because it's a massive international popularity. But he is, I think,

probably a flight risk because he's got a Jeep. Yeah, the ball and chain will probably slow down. Yeah, probably the big ball and chain and he's got on. He could drive over any mountain range to get away from us. If we did cause a mistrial, do we get in trouble? They don't come after us. They just go, oh well, ruined by another Australian comedy current events podcast.

I'm so sick of this. I'm so sick of this. It was a rational fear last week. Yeah. When you're a current affairs podcast, I think the statue of limitations gets like smaller. Yeah, it's basically a miniature of limitations. Yeah. If you can't catch us doing it, you got nothing on us.

As for the quote, Little White Lie, Catherine is forgiven her new husband. Quote, it's a great story that we're going to be able to tell for years to come, Morris said. Why is he going to like, hey, put it in the newspaper that I lied to my wife and also make it like a big part of the story too. Yeah, center it on the lie. Put the lie right in the middle. Make it sound like I'm a big time lie.

Hey, start as you intend to go on. So. Yeah. Story's not that good unless you got, you know, some professional comedy podcasts is a punch. up for you. That's right. It's a great story when we read it aloud. Having our classic commentary.

16 nested sidebars. Authorities confirmed the suspect has been charged with second degree theft. No jokes in that one, I guess. Let him have it. I love that he's a local man. Do you think he does this often? It's just like a local wedding

venue. They recognize the Jeep. Free Bluetooth speaker. Yeah. He's the Jeep burglar The Jeep wedding burglar He's the jurgler Yeah Oh fuck I got jurgled again

Oh hey this was definitely an episode of the podcast Point of vista Thank you so so much for joining us If you're listening to this roughly At the time that came out And you live in Victoria Or perhaps even any other part of Australia or even maybe elsewhere,

we have added a second Melbourne live show due to some people getting genuinely mad at us and it made me feel mad. But as a compromise, it's not going to be as good. We're putting less effort into it. It is half the price. It's in the daytime.

It's in the daytime, which is just a bad, a bad vibe for a podcast. Podcasts for dark rooms. Smoky bar. Jazz bars. Jaze. Whiskey.

Montepalceania. Mondebollano. Hand-rolled cigarettes. So we're going to be in the bright, clear light of day reading the stories that simply were not funny enough for the main episode. We've still got, I think about half the tickets left for that one so far. If you were one of the people that was like, hey, I fucking missed out. And then I emailed you 24. hours ahead of when we let everybody else know and you still haven't fucking bought a ticket to this show

it's a ypea brother you son of a bitch why have you done this to me um we're really excited to do those melbourne shows i honestly cannot wait it's a fun it's going to be it's going to be a fucking blast it's a beautiful brewery it's going to be lovely yeah and uh yeah our friend our friend harry's really looking after us there it's going to be doing some cool shit for us see whatever happens to me during a podcast, a live podcast is a night time thing or an all times thing. Yeah, that's interesting. We'll get to the bottom of it. You'll see if that translates to the daytime.

It's like a silly daytime Theo. That'll be fun. If you want a second episode every week, we do do that conveniently. Patreon.com slash point of vista where you get the full fucking back catalog. That's a lot of episodes. There's so many episodes. Some quite good. Some?

Some, yeah. Over 900 episodes. Yeah. That's crazy, dude. Yeah. It's going to feel nuts when we hit 1,000-ish, because we don't have a proper count at all. No idea. We'll be close.

We'll be so close. Thank you so much for listening. We will see you soon. Bye. Bye.