Boonta Vista - EPISODE 460: One Set Of Craneprints (with Demi Lardner)

Episode Date: August 30, 2026

Our friend Demi Lardner returns to discuss: AI-powered horse scams, this week's grief rankings, and the beginning of a change in Dutch anatomical terminology. *** Watch the first episode of the new season of SYWWAPP here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uLFVQhip93k *** Outro: Knife in the Water - METZ

460. Oh, and welcome to Bunta Vista, episode 460. My name is Demi Lardner, and I just fell down. Uh-oh. There was a winkle in the carpet, and I just tripped over it, and I fell down. I got a little bit of chippy dust on my fingers, and I pressed them into the carpet, because I just fell down. With me today is my good friend. Ben McQway.

How are Ben? Did you fall down? Oh, I don't. I regret. You told me to fucking do it. You said. No one wrote one. Can I pull back the curtain?

I'm hungover. I had one idea this morning when I woke up. Do you know what happened to some people when they're hung over, maybe still a little bit drunk? Sometimes they can fall down. Oh, Christ. The only idea I had was a food themed intro where your name was Demi Labner. like the type of yogurt

That's all I had And Andrew Slaw What about everyone else? Oh Yeah Andrew Slaw That's nice Yeah

Theo mint jelly Okay that works Because I kind And that I had nothing for Lucy And that I went back to sleep So Lucy pale of wine Lucy pale of wine A whole pale?

A whole pale? And what will you guys be having? Lucy Fuck Fuck Shit Anyway I'm on the I'm on the ground

I fell down down. Yeah, you fell down, by the way. Yeah. You look stupid down there. I don't want to do the voice. I don't want to. I'd like you to do the voice.

I'd like you to do the voice if you could. I'd like it if you did the baby's voice, Ben's not here. He's still on the ground from falling down earlier. From falling down. And somebody who might, somebody who may have just insult themselves because they fell down. As my friend had to wall. I don't like to draw attention to it. I did fall down right onto my penis.

A raging erection fell face down. You put your penis out instead of your hands. It's an easy mistake. Then you won't break your wrist. Yeah, yeah. They teach skateboarders and stuntmen to fall. First thing they teach you. Don't fall onto your erect penis.

Yeah. You can really jar it, you know. Wouldn't it hurt a lot? If you were fully erected, instead of just going either upwards towards your body or sort of downwards, it just sort of was a perfect right angle to the ground and just pushed inwards. Wouldn't that hurt, don't you think? Concentina. Yeah.

Concentina. Yeah, I'm thinking it would have hurt. And somebody who does twipped over a concertina is woozy. Oh, I tripped over Andrew's concertina's penis. Concentina's, yeah. We all fell down. Oh, we all fell down. And I, yeah, pussy first, pussy first, which is, you know, it's fine.

Pussy first. Uninjured, untouched. But you've got such a puffy pussy that you kind of like rolled on it like when a penguin goes on its belly. Yeah. They're rocking back and forth. Just like puff paint. It's real puffy. My penis is looking like the front of a Hyundai gets that has been crashed into by a Ford Ranger.

You never want to find out where your penis is crumpled signs are. I'll tell you that. There's a guy, there's a food reviewer guy, Dame drops, who has, like, a mechanical penis, you know, like, the ones where you get, like, the implant that you kind of... You pump it up? Yeah, I think it's one of them. But he's, like, broke, and so he has a ton of vods. Usually he's, like, a fast food reviewer, but a lot of his videos are about his broken mechanical penis, which is really a lot of fun. Because he, like, talks a lot about how it's fine.

like erectile dysfunction is normal. A lot of people have it. I agree with that. But then you got a penis and you broke it. So you tried to get a good like penis that you could control. And then you like snapped it in half or something. You know what happened? You know what happened to have a penis.

You break your penis and you get the paperwork out and wouldn't you know it? Warranty finished one week ago. No. It's always what happens. Every time. Always what happens. But sometimes just depending on like depending on who they can prove was using the penis. Like if you say your dad

I was a mistake And your dad will be like Yes I use the hot pink penis With the fuzzy dyes on the mirror I was driving the penis at the time yes Yeah Wait so this is a I don't understand

What's the It's a penis for people with erectile dysfunction They put a thing in there to G it up They replace it Yeah They what's Yeah you sort of put a thing inside

And it like It gives it makes it so that Your shit will just like stay hard because I think with erectile dysfunction it's not like you're like oh I'm not into it anymore most of the time it's just your weaner is like

it's not coming to the table I'm done I'm done so he had he got his um he got his penis put put put robo style wow that's fucking amazing that's crazy yeah that's beautiful try and imagine if you will that they put

McDuff the concertina from from the Alfred and friend And Friends. Johnson and Friends. Alfred's in. I mean, Alfred was my favorite. I mean, Alfred's the star.

We all relate to Alfred. We all relate to Alfred. But imagine they've put a little McDuff in your penis. And when you press the thing, he, he, concertina's out. I thought Concerina was a, oh, was that a boy, the concertina. McDuff? It was McDuff. It was McDuff.

A cheerful blue and yellow concertina. I think McDuff is non-binary. Which is from the accordion family. Mm. Okay. Okay. Okay. Of the Michigan Accordions?

Related to the accordion, but not accordion specifically. Did you guys see that thing that the toys from Johnson and Friends are in the background of a like 90s, like Japanese like mecca anime movie? Is it like cat labor or something? Maybe. Yeah, bizarre. Everything I know about that fact I've now said. Can't tell you what it was or when it was from. Or why it happened.

Pretty cool. Hey, Demi. you made a television program for the internet. Yes, I certainly did. The television doesn't like me. Channel 10 or whatever it is won't tell me which faceless person, in my manager's words, hates my guts. So now that I can't be on Taskmaster, I've made my own show.

It's called So You Want to Win a Penis Pump. I asked them if I could change the name and they said they didn't want to. It's so you want to win a penis pump. It's produced by Gets Up. Grousehouse, the Auntie Donna place. And the first episode is out publicly, and the first two episodes are out on the Grass House subscription model service thing. And that's very funny.

I've watched that first episode twice. Yeah. Solo and then a second time with a partner, because I thought that might be a little bit of fun to introduce into it. Well, like a little parallel watching so you want to win a penis pump? Yeah, we're sort of side by side watching it together. Yeah, yeah. I like it when I'm with my partner and I say, hey, might if I put something on?

Let's spice this up a little. So you want a winner bee. We watched it on, I think, Friday night, quite late with some friends, one of which has met Demi before. And one of which has not and was not familiar with your work. and he went from what the fuck kind of game show is this in the first 60 seconds to this is absolutely incredible about 120 seconds in. Yay!

So yeah they grand old time. I'm happy. I really like it. It's some, I've asked all of the editors and the description writers to just treat it like it's a normal game show. But in this case, if somebody,

If any listeners don't know who I am and don't know this stuff, it's like pretty fucked and like for morons, basically. Yeah, yeah. It's nasty style. It's truly, yeah, but it's beautiful. You should definitely go and watch it. And Grousehouse TV, there's so much stuff on there. Yeah, we were doing some more chimp couplets today.

I love chimp couplets. Chim couplets was one of the rounds. It's about you have to write a couplet based around chimps and monkeys and stuff. That sounds very wholesome. Yeah. Sounds nice. Sounds lovely. Yeah.

Yeah. It seems that way. Yeah. Tom's face during the couplets, I think, is maybe my favorite part of episode one. He is going through a series of facial expressions that are truly beautiful. They are, I wish I could paint just to capture them. They're gorgeous. Monkey, monkey.

Hear me well. Fuck me. Pull my ponytail. Oh, Christ. Christ. Christ. Off the dome. We have to do nasty.

We don't really do that nasty stuff. We don't do gross. This is kind of a show for grown-ups. What did you say? Mocky, monkey, sweetly sleeping. Also view my pussy leaving. Did you go hear that? Oh, come on.

Jesus Christ. Hey, if you didn't want to hear a bunch about apes having sex and you watched the first episode of So You Want to Win a Penis Bump, that might almost feel like a scam. We talk about scams in Scam Watch. Order. Someone has successfully or unsuccessfully attempted a scan and must be judged. This is Samwatch.

This comes to us from the Louisville Courier and Journal. After alleged AI breach, Professor agrees to voluntary horse racing suspension. Yeah, it's all there in the headline. Yeah, okay. Yeah. Go again? After alleged AI breach, Professor agrees to voluntary horse racing suspension. Yeah.

Okay. So some sort of professor, like white lab coat type thing, you know, and because of AI somehow he's not allowed to horse race anymore. He's not allowed to horse race anymore. He's like put stuff into a computer and said, how fast can a horse go or something? That was it. We finally got the tech to find out.

Says here pretty fast. I'm about to be. Like a million dollars. Then I'm going to bet yes on the race. Oh my God. You could get Chat GPT to like do a multi-bet for you, right? Like there's no safeguards against that. You could like get Chat GPT to pick your horse, your horses for you.

Is that what's going to be? Absolutely. Sports bet already has a thing. Sportsbet already has an AI assisted betting agent where you go in and say, hey, I'm looking at this race and it will give you a multi to put up. That's fuck. That's fuck. Isn't that dope?

That's evil. Company that want my money, gambling company that want my money. What should I do with my freaking money? Tell me who to gamble on. Can you tell me who to gamble on company that want my money? The gambling company knows all about the races, so they're only going to give you winning bets. That's freaking true. Why weren't we doing this a while ago?

They all know the most about it. You know who I would ask? I would ask the horse. Yes. How do you feel? How do you feel? feeling today. To sleep well last night?

How are you? How's your girlfriend? Is she still acting like a bitch or have you sorted it out? Were you two fighting last night again? They've sorted it out. They've sorted it out. They've been doing counseling. They're great actually.

They've literally never been better. Betting all my money. Marshall Graham, the college economics professor and co-founder of a horse racing ownership group who allegedly used AI to breach confidential horse racing data, voluntarily gave up his rights to own, claim, or interact with horse racing as fraud charges against him appending. To own claim or interact with horse racing.

So he can't even watch a Chinese satellite feed of the races in Hong Kong, you know? No, I guess, yeah. Can't even watch it? Like, just recreationally? No, that's fucked up. I think once you're doing data breaches, you might have a problem. Yeah. Graham accepted a

quote, provisional suspension of his regulatory registration, the horse racing the integrity safety authority or HISA announced to August 24th.

Graham is co-founder of 10 strike racing which according to Equibase an equine database of horses, owners, jockeys and traders first entered a horse race in first entered a horse

in a race that makes more sense in 2013. In accepting the suspension Graham did not admit fault in the accusations levied against him. Pro move. that's step one.

No, I didn't. I didn't. No, I didn't. No, talking over them. No, no, no, no. Wrong, false. Didn't take false breach. It's perfect you can't find me.

I quit business, you know? I am suspending my gambling at this time, but I think you'll note I did it myself. Yeah. You have not suspended me because maybe I didn't do anything wrong. Yep. Not because you said. I'm doing it because I want to.

I'm bored of horses. I'm tired of horses. They're boring to me now. So actually, I'm going to do something else. That simply can't be true, though. That's how you would get, you would get completely, like, railed by the legal system. If you said, because they're not boring.

Lapped out of the room. That's insane. Not fucking boring. Standing up there and testifying, but, like, starting to get teary is, like, I don't care about how fast they are. I don't care about their big, beautiful muscles, rippling as they run down the stretch. I'm not going to miss it.

Doing that scene from Breaking Bat when Walt basically acquits Skylar from all of the crimes being like, you stupid bitch horses, you stupid fucking animals, you never did what I said. It's all a lie. They don't even run as fast as I want

the two in the order I wanted to run. They're not pretty and they don't have big bombs. H-I-S-A charged Graham with fraud on August 17th, claiming he accessed veterinary records, not just for the 76 horses he owns, but also for a vast portion of the 100,000 horses cataloged in an online portal that H-I-S-A overseas. Guy owns so many fucking horses. That's two numbers that make me say, that's a lot of horses. That is a lot of horses.

In two different contexts. Yeah, 76 is a lot for one man. A hundred thousand is a lot for anybody. Do you think they all live in his home, all 76? Oh, I hope so. Yeah, me and my 76 horses. Just pushing past like nine horses to get to the kitchen. Excuse me, scozy, scozy, scozy, scozy.

A hundred thousand horses make 76 horses sound like not that many. But imagine they put 76 horses in your yard. Yeah. Now there's a load. Now it's like this is too many horses to even think about it. What about this? Imagine they put one horse in your onsweep. I can't even remember all of your names

There's no room for me I feel so rude I feel so rude That's the horse That's the 76 horses That'd be enough glue to attach Your truck to your house Yeah

Yeah Yeah You know Man I bet all your tiles would be so kicked In your onsuit hey Oh my gosh Your tiles are fucked Yeah

All my tiles are fucking are fucked and I don't know how I'm going to get the other 75 horses in here. You know? Hey Hollywood. As the horses are waking up in the morning you're like, does somebody drop a bunch of coconut halves or

no, it's the horses. Oh, yeah. Oh, the horses. Oh, oh. Oh, my 76 horses in the house. Oh, my God, is there someone in the house? Oh, no, no, no, no, no, the horses. Oh, my God, waking up at 3 a and being like,

oh my god there's 152 burglars in the house wait wait wait wait wait wait it's my 76 horses all of my neighbors complaining about all the horse shit in their yard which is all like within two meters of my fence as I go yep I don't know anything about it I've got a lot of stuff going on over here I've done a time to talk about this every day Steve every day you're over here talking about your issues on your property I got stuff going on I actually have pathological demand avoidance about the horse shit in the yard. HISA CEO Lisa Lazarus told the Courier Journal last week that Graham allegedly, quote, ended up with 4.5 million records after prompting

Claude AI to download the horse performance data, organize those records based on each horse's eight number identification, and create a searchable database so he could use confidential information to buy and claim horses, as well as possibly wager and participate in horsemen contests. Oh. Oh, wow. What's a horseman? A horseman?

Sounds like jousting to mess. A horseman? A horseman? We're all going to die. No. I'm understanding the fraud now because, like, before I was just like, it sounded like he just, like, did some betting, but he was part of, like, the betting stuff, which is like,

but no, now I get it. if Claude was involved. Yeah, he did cybercrime with Claude's help, I guess. Yeah. Would you just cut some of your hair off, Debbie? Yeah, that bit was too long. It was annoying me. I just cut a little bit.

It's just annoying me. Had the scissors handy? Just ready to go? Yeah. Tom's been collaging. Oh, okay. That's very nice. Yeah. With your hair, the collage.

No, not with my hair with just those scissors. Oh, because you see, you said it like they were very related. Well, the scissors. The sisters were there. Putting stuff aside for Tom to glue to things. Just leave this. I don't know how, I don't know whether anybody on the call can relate to how easy records from chat GPT or AI agents are. But it's really, really, really, really funny how easy it is and how many people.

and how many people get caught doing stupid shit with Claude and chappy tea. Yeah, and it makes me happy and laugh every time. That's crazy. Well, I think what seems to be able to, what seems to be happening reasonably regularly now is that someone says, I would like the information from whatever website. And if the website has not been set up in a particularly secure fashion, and you get one of these things that is made for coding to go and look at it,

it like pokes around and goes, oh, there's an API that just has like all of the information that's in this database just sitting here. I'll just gobble that up. Yeah. Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum. Mnam, m m m m m m m m mhm. Slurps it up with a long hose going down the internet pipes. Yep. Snicks a big boba straw straight into the computer and goes.

Yep. You do need the boba straw for that kind of data. Horse data. It's my horse starter. It's full of. horse information. Need a straw thing and I think of my horse, data.

It's Z. Hey, the AI stuff seems to be happening everywhere, possibly even in the Netherlands. We talk about the Netherlands in Dutch Corner. Help me, buddy. I'm from Holland. Isn't that beer? This is from Dutch news.

NL. No more shame lips. Dutch dictionary adds new word for labia. Oh. Pardon? Oh. Horribles. Horrible.

No more shame lips. No more shame lips. That's crazy that they're going to stop saying it right as we all start saying it. It's a perfect handover. I mean, that's going straight in the vocabulary. Thank you for the turn. Babe, put away the shame lips. Put away your shame lips.

Come on. Women's rights groups are applauding the latest edition to the definitive Dutch dictionary dickavandala of the word labia labia fuck did you just say it dutchly we're just thinking dutchly

and you're not you're thinking dutchly Volfi Lepin Dund Dian Volfiippin has been added alongside the word

shamlippen While both words mean labia, The old shamlippen translates as shame lips, which the organisation say is stigmatising as compared to the more neutral volva lips. Yeah, it's stigmatizing to... I can't finish that sentence. Yeah? What?

It's stigmatizing to people with ugly pussies is what I was going to say. Cut that out, bleep it, bleep it. As somebody with a... All right, I'll just say, it's stigmatizing to people with ugly pussies. As somebody with quite a magnificently, like, and it doesn't matter, but symmetrical vagina and pussyhole and labia majora and menorah, I have a different view on it because I'm like, it's funny to call it shame lips. But if you do have one that looks like, you know, a witch face or something.

If it's offending, you ask yourself, am I seeing something of myself in this? Why am I offended by this? Why am I offended? Is it because of my ugly pussy? Is it because I tried to do a marathon alongside Tour de France and really mashed everything up because of too many hours on the bicycle seat. Yeah, is it because I didn't stand up on my pedals when I went over all of those speed bumps and something happened down there?

And is that maybe my choices that are coming out in my flower? Did I fall down too much? Did I fall down too much? Oh my God. Does I have a big fall down onto my same whips? I put a miss his message to you is, if you have an ugly pussy, it's your fault. Hey, can I run something by you guys?

Just an idea that I just had that sort of just came to me. I mean, yeah, is that good? I like that. Oh, there he goes. All right, second idea. We've got Lavia Majora. You've got your labia menorah. What about labia meteorora?

Meteora. Like the Lincoln Park album. Okay. I knew that's where you were going with that one. And what would that sound like? You knew that's where I was going with that. As soon as you said labia majora, I knew that you were going to say that. Isn't that crazy?

I think we're just kind of so in sync. And what would that sound like? What would that sound like? Rest in peace. Take it too soon. Yeah. Who died? Chester Beddington about.

five or six years ago, five years ago, maybe? I was sad about Tim Curry the other day. Yeah, me too. Isn't it sad that Tim Curry beefed it? Yeah, Dolly Parton. And the guy that voiced the person from Transformers. Somebody didn't care very much about Dolly Parton, but hey, good or no. Okay.

She had a good go at it. Yeah. She, you had a, thanks for your input. That's your input. Oh, actually, shit. That, sorry, this is a complete sidebar, but I saw a Facebook post in my, my trip hop Facebook group the other day that I wanted to read to you guys just talking about celebrity deaths

because there were a bunch that happened this week and some were sort of a bigger deal than others some people are more important than other people that's true like a lot of humans matter more and we have been ranking them yes and it seems like Tim Curry won maybe Dolly Parton I think they might be neck and neck Peter Cullen in third

yeah what's at Cosuma you know what I learned about Peter Cullen this week then that amongst the videos doing the rounds after he passed away was that he made the noise that the predator makes. I also learned that this week from the Instagram real. He makes the clicky, the clicky, creepy noise that the predator makes in the movie The Predator.

That's crazy. Ah, that predator. Well, in The Predator or Predator? We're finding out that Peter Cullen actually makes the he-hee-he. You know the noise that the predator makes The noise of the predator makes Yeah In all of those songs

Sorry Andrew I know that you That you're a pro Michael Jackson household I'm so pro Michael Jackson No Let's not get into that But I do have No I do have something to say

You apparently You said on it And I think I missed this episode You said that when I was visiting that I brought up Michael Jackson with your children. That is not true. That is not fucking true. You were talking about Michael Jackson.

And I just made a face. And then you said, and your kids were like, what? And you were like, well, you explained it. I didn't say, hey, kids, do you want to talk about a pito? Actually, the way I remember it is Demi came to visit. And like kind of as soon as she saw my kids, she hadn't put her bags down or anything. She said, who are your heroes? Let's, let's

And I'm gonna tell you some Some fucking truth Sit down, kids, sit down Sit down I'm gonna tell you some fucking truths today Yeah They did enjoy the Michael Jackson movie Which way?

Oh, I haven't seen it Michael Oh, not, not Michael with Jafar Jackson Moon Walker Moon Walker, it's got some great visuals But it's really disjointed You watch it as an adult

And you're like, boy The person who was making this Is doing a lot of morphine Yeah, how come, How come he turns into like a spaceship or whatever at the end for? Turns into a spaceship. Does he turn into the big rabbit in that or is that just in the... Yeah, no, he does, yeah.

They pull all that in there where he's the big, the big bunny. I'm getting it all mixed up. The big sexy bunny. What happens in the video game? He's kind of a proto furry. Because like a... Crazy shit. Do you remember in the movie Lucy when Lucy turns into a USB stick?

Does she really? Yes, that's the end of the movie. the woman who has a really powerful brain because of that thing where they're like yeah she's using all of her brain which is fake Oh yeah yeah yeah yeah At the end of the movie she turns into a USB drive

And we're like Oh okay Well I guess it's all in here now That's the end of the fucking movie Oh you were watching a movie By the very problematic Luke Bison by notorious predator

Luke Bison household No no Until he started making really bad movies. Then I'm like, I can't help you now, Luke Bisson. Yeah, the predator stuff's fine, but not the bad movies. If you made like 10 the fifth elements in a row, if you made the sixth element and the seventh element, you know, I'd be backing you.

But instead you're making Lucy. You're making Valerian and the however many planets or whatever. It sucked, by the way. Not a good movie. It should have been cool, but it sucked. You made a vampire movie with Dane Dahan in it? It's not the one that, wait, the one that started with a V just before. That's not the one where the lady from that 70s showed, like,

uses a pad as a Band-Aid or something, is it? To show that she's a strong, independent woman. Valerian and the city of a thousand planets. Is that in, like, Jupiter ascending, maybe? It is, thank you, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. I don't remember that specific part, but, yeah, cool. There's a bit weird. He's, like, he's wounded, and she's like, a woman,

own this car and she opens the fucking like the glove box and pulls out some pads and then like sticks it on him like she's she sticks a pad onto Channing Tatum everywhere Channing Tatum is playing a genetically engineered part likeanthrope

soldier who has had his He's a dog man he's a dog man and he's had his wings removed They took his wings They took his wings Not very nice to Channing Tatum Not very nice Not very nice to take his wings

Hey Hollywood Give Channing Tatum's dog soldier his wings back Yeah we're talking about Jupiter ascending Yeah Tom knows They sense royalty Yeah they sense royalty They sense royalty Sean Bean I believe is the keeper of the bees

He is Sean Bean keeper of the bees there Beekeeper? Yeah Yeah big time I'm the fucking beekeeper You say that Sean Bean's a beekeeper I'm about to keep some bloody bees I'm Jason's

That's true That's true Yes Stunning Today we in Norway are mourning We have lost our beloved king And for me Rhodes is a song I find meaningful

Atmits all the sorrow This is a guy posting a link To Portishead Performing Rhodes In the live from the Roseland Ballroom concert Because he's sad That the King of Norway has died

Oh the King of Norway Yeah Rhodes by Portishead Is helping him get over his grief Having lost King Harald the sixth or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it makes sense. It makes sense. Harald is a fine way to spell it.

It is. They're kind of goofy like that over there. I like Harald. That's nice. Harald. And he gave us Bluetooth. Thank you so much. Harald Bluetooth. Me?

Well, it's where we got the name. And also the logo. It's the ruin of Harald Brututut. Got another one here. Harold Bluetooth. This is someone named Robbie. in Trip Hop lovers. Any of you have a dope sound system in your car and love blasting the music or at least

bought a car with a decent stock audio? Yeah, man. That's awesome, man. That's awesome, dude. Yeah, I genuinely, like, no irony,

completely sincerely, I do love blasting music in my car. Do you? That's just me. I didn't think you'd be a car music blaster. I just didn't get that vibe about you. What do you think I'm sitting there silently? You're pulling up at the lights,

like, but you blast in it? I'm blasting it, yeah. Audible to pedestrians, millions blast in it? Oh my God. Windows down.

Do they don't have an aircon. Yeah. And don't blast in the car. They can't see me from the waist down. Yeah, I'm jacking off. I'm blasting in the car. I was a car blaster when I was a kid with a 1989 Toyota, not wanking, but 1989 Toyota Corolla.

It was mostly Scrillex. Sick. I bet it was. I bet it was. That's sick. That's sick, Daddy. How old were you? Like Scrillex was hitting the charts

And I want to say like 2009, 2009, 2010? Yeah. So I would have been 16 in, I think, 2009, I think. So I was in my car, blasting Scrilex. Fuck yeah, dude. I unlocked a memory the other day that I had not touched in a very long time, which was of getting into a guy's car when I was like 16 or 7. Maybe like, let's say around 16.

But getting into a guy's car with some other people to go somewhere, and it was like a corolla. It had two 15-inch subwoofers behind the back seats, pointed directly at the back seats, like up against them. And we got in this guy's car to go somewhere, and he turned the stuff up to the volume, some kind of dance music, up to the volume where you can hear your, you can feel your organs shifting around,

you know? That kind of volume. and then proceeded to drive to where we were going somewhere in a Canberra suburb. I remember feeling very alarmed and looking at the speedo and this dude's doing like a hundred kilometres an hour in very suburban streets. And you know when you have that feeling that's like, oh, I'm in a very dangerous situation all of a sudden. That classic youth feeling of, wait a minute, this might be not in my control. Yeah, the youth feeling of, well, I wouldn't have picked this.

Yeah. Now that I'm here, now that I'm here, I didn't know, but now that I'm here and I know, oops. Oops. And he was wearing a white baseball cap and his name was Jordan. Of course it is. Of course, Jordan owns a corolla with two 15 inch subs in it, you know. What do you think Jordan's doing now? Dead.

Yeah, dead. I was going to say dead. Yeah. I guess. I feel like I've told you guys about this before, but there are a couple of things. of people that I went to school with that are dead that I know about because I went to Woodford Folk Festival and my friend Renee bleep went on basically just like a tirade of being like, oh my God, you know Franklin, he had the Goku tattoo. He ran his motorcycle into a tree, decapitated dead and

his mum bought the chicken shop from across the road from the school. And I was like, all right, the dead bit was sticking out to me a little bit more than the chicken shop part. than the chicken shop. I don't know if, I feel like we had a couple of people died like right after high school, like immediately afterwards and basically all in car accidents. I was just talking to someone last night that's like next year will be my, presumably,

I don't even know if they're actually going to organize one or not, but it would theoretically be my 20-year high school reunion, which is fucked up. Wow. I didn't go to the 10th one because that sounded like a bad time, but now I'm like, enough time has passed. I want to see what some of these freaksoid's turned into. Yeah, I didn't go to my...

10's not interesting, 20 now that's what's going to see. A real freakazoid shit, yeah. Yeah, 10 I didn't go to, but I think it was basically cancelled because I think it happened like in the big COVID time because I think I graduated in 2011, I think. Couldn't tell you. Oh, sorry. Not sure.

It wasn't there. So yeah. So yeah, it would have been like 2020. and we would have been like locked down and stuff and I was like, oh man, I really wanted to decide not to go, but I just can't go. Oh, that is true. You know what I mean? I want you to know that I chose. Have you gone to any of yours, Andrew?

No. It's just not my bag. Some of my friends went to mine and I was like, what was it like? Was it funny? And they were like, no, it was just like bleak. Like it was just miserable and bleak. Like it wasn't even funny. And I was like, oh, that sucks.

Oh. Well. You would have found the job. I'm sure I would have found some joy there. Freakazoid. Freakazoid. Freakazoid. Small town freezoid.

Real estate agent. Yeah. Banker, banker, banker, banker, banker, banker. Banker door bitch. I'll say I'm the most successful person from my high school and that is a depressing sentence. Yes. Wow. That's fucked up.

They should just publish a list every year of how everyone's doing. Like a happiness index. relationship. Relationship. Relationship. How many divorces. Yeah. Just like, you know, dead, obviously.

Little flag at the end that's like alive. Dead. I'm one of the more successful ones. I have a friend who is a poet who's really, really talented and cool. But then I'm really glad that in year six, the Philippa brothers left our school. So thankfully they didn't graduate with me. You know, the ones that made a talk to me.

bring her back. Oh, wow. I was in year five with them. And then they left the school. So thank God, you know. That's fucking crazy. I wonder if a single person from my year has a Wikipedia page. I think we might be entirely out of like 200 or 300 people completely Wikipedia pageless. Wow. I think. Not everybody gets a Wikipedia page, you know. Not everybody gets a Wikipedia page. That everybody gets one. That's the breaks. Quote, we should just mention these parts

in our education with children and young people, artist Essa van der Volk, Todd Broadcaster, NOS. People now know that this is a normal word and with that we can break the taboo. Oh, the shame lips. I was like, fuck, what are we talking about? The pussy lips.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're back to them about. Because you started talking about the king. Yeah, but now we're back on pussy lips. Yeah, that was a sidebar. we're back at the main sort of thing. Main pussy lips. We're on the highway again.

I like shame lips. Because again, I'm not offended because mine's not ugly. Because you have nothing to lose. So do you it's only funny? Yes. But your friend with an ugly pussy, they're going to. And sometimes some of the stuff we say on this show is very real. And Lucy means it when she says that.

It's fine to have an ugly pussy. It is fun. I'm literally, I think it is funny. that someone as disgusting as me has a beautiful pussy. Like I would, I, I deserve to have a ugly one, but I don't. I would agree with that. I would agree with Demi there. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Look to your left. Look to your right. If both your friends have pretty pussies, you have the ugly pussy. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Correct.

Both, both women immediately co-signing this. Not a pejorative. We can just say it. It's just a statement of fact. It's fine. It doesn't matter. They're all, like, I know that people are like, all vaginas abut.

beautiful. No, they're not. Some of them are really fucked up. That's not. Is it true? But it's still great. They're awesome. Don't worry about it.

Now, from the other side of this, Ben and I are going to say that all penises are beautiful. Yes. Yeah, iPad. No such thing as an ugly, crusty penis with sores on it, you know? I'll say it. I've got fat armpits that look like little dog vaginas. So, you know, some parts of the body, just not as fun to look at.

But when you got a really beautiful vagina, nobody's looking at the armpits. Nobody's looking at your armpits. You've got a real ugly pussy. You've got to lean on your armpits a lot more. Draw attention to the parts of your body that you like. Do you guys remember that fucking show where the two old British women? The two old bitches, what not to wear or whatever? Yes!

That's what I was thinking about with the ugly pussy. Which is so funny because they would be like, hey, you have to like, this is the right type of clothes for you, which is like, fine. If you feel bad about your body, maybe you like that kind of advice. I think it's stupid because wear whatever you want. But also they would do that thing where they'd be like,

hey, we've got a line up of skinny bitches to fat bitches. Now you, bitch, put yourself where you think you are in the life. What are you doing? It was like literally, and they're all in their underwear. Now, you don't have to be in your underwear, but put yourself in the line where you think you fit. And then we'll tell you where you really fit. Oh, see, you're not as fat as you thought.

What the fuck are you talking about? It's like, crazy show. Yeah, it's right. It's probably ill. It's really fucked. That was just on like evening television. Yeah. It's not a unique observation at all,

but there's a lot of stuff from back then that you can look at where there was like some kind of cultural phenomenon about like how fucking fat and gross someone was and you look at them now and you go that woman is a size 10 what are we doing? Bridget Jones's diary.

Look at this nasty fat bitch. Look at this fat bitch exercising while she vacuums her floor. Okay, that's like the hottest woman I've ever seen in my entire fucking life. What are you talking about? It was a whole thing about Jennifer Lopez when her pop career was kicking off

and everyone was like this woman's got the, Biggest ass anyone's ever seen. And now you look at it and you're like, she's nothing. She's got nothing these days. We didn't know. We didn't know what we were in for. We didn't know what there was available. There were bigger butts coming.

How did we not know? How did we not know what other asses were out there in the world at the time? I think because of white people. I think it was mostly because white people were like, yeah, but no, like asses that I've seen. Only asses that I know about. Those are the bigs. Yeah. It's like that music video for that song, Honky Tonk, Badongka Donk.

Yeah, and they're not really Badongka Don's at all. And then in the video, no booty. There's not a single fucking booty in there. There's no booty in Honky Tonk bonkadong. It's fucked up. I fucking hate that song so much. Who's that? Which one of you guys is that?

Chet Adkins? Trace Adkins. Trace Atkins. Trace Atkins. Clay Aikon. Trace Clay. Claymore Bacon. Tray more bacon.

I think it's train crane. I think it's train crane. The two types of autism that people can have. Me, I'm a crane gal. When a crane fall down, oh, that's sad. Oh, the quaint fall down. I didn't use enough a quaint to pick him up. When there was only one set of crane prints.

That's when I hoisted you. Oh, Jesus Christ. Vandervolk is a member of Dolomina, the women's rights group that was founded in Netherlands in 1969, has been advocating for the inclusion of Volvillipin in the Dark Stictionary to counter-stigmatization. They're joined by Shamthalus, a more recent campaign seeking to change language

and attitudes regarding female anatomy. While Sham Lipin will remain in. the dictionary, the addition of Volvalippin means the word gets official Dutch language status. Proof, say the activist, that the normalization of sexuality via language can be achieved if enough people want it. Isn't it kind of crazy that some languages have like one definitive, like once it's in this book, it's in the, it's like this is the definitive Dutch dictionary.

Like the French and Spanish have institutes that are like, we're taking this word out of French or Spanish now or we're changing the spelling or whatever and that's. it. Yeah. Whereas all of ours are competing dictionaries. Yeah. I think it's very funny to be like, we're not taking it out. Like we'll put another one in, but like...

Put another one in. But you can still say it. It's the main one. I mean, you'd be used to saying it. It'd be hard to change. That's true. All the time you're talking about your shame lippin. I just think, a toddler thought incoming.

But I just think it is so funny. How many languages, like, you know, like, I think German is the most famous. And then, like, you know, French are just like, the only, the only real way to understand what they mean is to then translate it to English, which doesn't really make any sense to me. Because so many languages are extremely old. But, you know, like in French, when it's like, like, 80 is like 20, 20 has a dad, four of them or whatever. Yes. You know, they're all like sentences and shit. But that's like, it's the same.

shame lipin just meaning like like vulva is like why don't you just have a word that means vulva it seems like you should just have one that's like vulva just like the medical word yeah yeah why does it have to be shame lips i don't understand like if you're wearing a wife be it you could also call it a singlet or a vest or something you know we don't have to like why do we have to still have shame lippin but then change it to vulva lippin We're just kind of traditionalists, you know. Make up a new word. That sounds Dutch.

Can I recommend? Is my doodle. If you intend to watch the new Minions movie, can I suggest watching it with the subtitles on? Ah. Because you get the subtitles on for all the millionese. And Ben, I genuinely think you would really enjoy it because all of the stuff they're saying is like... Is related to the pussy stuff? Or?

Well, it's really... Yeah, they show you their pussy lips. You wouldn't believe what they're calling them. It's related to the language stuff because everything they're saying is like this mish-mash of all of the romantic languages together. So it's all these words from like Latin and French and whatever the other ones are, you know, a third thing. Italian? Yeah, they do say Italian stuff. That's true.

Because, I mean, they, you know, they make languages. I mean, Simlish kind of did the other way around where they made gibberish. And then they were like, actually some of these words mean this and that. And then there's other languages that they made like freaking Klingon, where they're like, no, we made the language first. Then we started saying the bullshit altogether. So I wonder if minions had all ways. They went Klingon style or Simlish style.

They should have had them speak Esperanto, really. Yeah. There's a place in Manly in Sydney that's it's just a house. It's just some guy's house. And there's two things about it. He has a big sign on the front that's like, yes, in this pond, there are over 250 coy. Also, I love Esperanto. And that's like, you just know everything about this guy's just one house.

You can look at all his awesome coy. And he's like, and we should speak this. That's really strange. That's awesome. It's really, it's super close to Manley Beach. think you can now, because people really want to see, like, the coy Esperanto house, you can, like, sort of Google Maps. I don't remember what it's called, but it's a really awesome front yard.

That's so fucking, I would love for that to be a, like, late in life turn for me is indulging in my passion for fish and Esperanto. I can see you with, like, 200 Koi. I could see you as a Koi guy, Ben. I've already got a bunch of my Esperanto books. I love, I love the Esperanto language. Can you remember any Esperanto? None whatsoever, no.

No. Okay. I like when it popped up, there was like a brief time. Like sometimes they'll use it in movies as a joke. I think in Red Dwarf, Esperanto is like the language of the future. But in movies from like the 60s and 70s, sometimes people sort of took a bet on it actually becoming like the Linguafranca of the future. And so they're like, well, this will age really well. We'll just put all the signs have the Esperanto in there as well.

Okay. Okay. What a beautiful... It's such a beautiful dream. And it's so fucking stupid and it would never happen. Yeah, it's... Oh, it's definitely not just going to all be Chinese that everybody has to speak.

It'll be this other thing we made. We're saying that positively, by the way. We can't wait for Chinese century. Yeah, yeah. Taking that to China and being like, no, no, yours is nice. It's cool. I actually, I love it.

But... Okay, get this. What if we all agreed, like, what if we all agreed on the language that was fun for all of us? Yeah. That'd be cool. Immediately being executed. Which we also think is good, by the way. Yeah, which is fine by us.

It's fine. Yeah. Please execute me. It's one of my favorite e-words. Let's all talk about some of our favorite e-words. Sham Lipin is not the only word where shame is embedded in its name. There's charm hair, shame hair, which is the name for puberty. Yep.

Yep. Or what about charm bean or shame bone? Oh. I thought it was going to be bean. I thought it was about the clit. I thought it was a clit. I thought we were doing your shame bean. My shame bean.

Touch my shame bean. Remember when millennial women used to be flicking the bean? Flicking the bean. That's so disgusting. That was a horrible chapter in our history. I need to have a mass. I'm going to chuck a maz on me. Oh, have a mas.

God, that's foul. What dignified expression are you using, Lucy? Huh? I'm not. I don't. I don't. I don't even know how. She's too,

not sure what that is. I'm going to smack the nub. I'm going to go have a nub smack. All right. Right. There is even charm streak or shame area for pubic area. Oh, it's all charm. It's all charm down there.

It's the charm zone. It's a sham. It sounds like all. It sounds like lots of Dutch vocabulary is describing the anatomy as like the red vulnerable areas on a boss, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's just flashing area you should chew that. Blowing flashing red pussy. Target is. Shenzones. My shame jam. Oh. What about? our bum. What about bum hole?

Yeah. Sham hurle? Shamhole. Shamhring. Shamterloos says it had to start somewhere, so it picked shamlippin. Quote, everyone has pubic hair, a pubic bone and a pubic area, says the group. But only half of us have labia or shame lips,

which adds to a disproportionate to a large amount of trouble. Don't don't call them that after you've just done the big push. it already. You don't say half of us have shame lips if you've just said you shouldn't.

That's so funny. What a pro move. Oh, just in case you're confused, I mean my shame lips. My shame lips. I'm changing it to do that we changed it in the dictionary to shame vagina for some reason. Wait, why do we even do anything? But hey, they're being gender inclusive.

Just about half of us have it, you know? Sharm lips havers. Charm lips havers. Oh, that's beautiful. While some doctors and even the media have taken to using vulva lippin, it's not yet part of the everyday Dutch vernacular. Do you say some doctors? Some doctors.

Others are like, we got to. The rest of them are like, actually it's a mud hole now, since you complained. Please put on the gown and show me your shame lips. Awesome. Hey, look, there's nothing to be shy about. Get your shame lips out. Shars your shame lips. Shows your shame lips.

Come. Nasty. What are you embarrassed for? Get them out. I think this was definitely an episode of the podcast. I think so too. Yeah, it's probably best. I think it was probably, yeah.

Thank you so much for joining us, both you, the listener, new Demi! Yay! Thank you for having me. Please watch my show. What should they search for on YouTube? S-Y-W-A-P-P-P-P-P-P-E. Yeah.

I begged them to let me just change the name of it to just pump-o, but they were like, sort of like, you know, sort of keep it like that. So Demi Lardner Game Show will bring it up. And it'll be, there's the old season, season one of So You Want to Win a Penis Bump. Just use the acronym. And then episode one of season two is out for free, and there are three more episodes coming. I found out yesterday, you do actually get it by typing in, so you want to win a penis pump. Do you?

Oh, perfect. Which is convenient. The auto complete, though, gets rid of the penis. So it's just, do you want to win a pub? Which is just, I don't know, that's something quite delightful about that. So you want to win a pub? So you want to win a pump. A community kind of pub.

It's Charmin Pumping. You can get the full season over time By signing up to Grousehouse Which I don't think is a lot of money And there's a lot of great stuff on there That's my understanding I feel like Everybody has decided that it's like

The Grouse House is kind of like If you like drop out TV But you like chucked it in the microwave for a bit And it's just gone You know Oh A little feral A little feral

Yeah A bit yeah And everyone sounds a bit stupider Because of our accents Because of our shit accents because of how fucking stupid we all sound. Yeah. All right, bye.

Bye.