Boonta Vista - EPISODE 71: Terminal Velocity

Episode Date: October 28, 2018

I had to skim the episode to figure out what we talked about. Hot martinis, fake Australian accents, the origins of actor David Caruso's name, what movie to pair with Hudson Hawke, collecting VHS and accidentally falling from a very high building among other things. CW: Suicide talk, but it's mostly very silly. Sorry. Support the show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista *** Merchandise now available: boontavista.com/merchandise *** Twitter: twitter.com/boontavista iTunes: tinyurl.com/y8d5aenm Stitcher: www.stitcher.com/s?fid=144888&refid=stpr Pocket Casts: pca.st/SPZB RSS: tinyurl.com/kq84ddb

Welcome to Bunton Vista episode 71. I'm Andrew and of course when I say 71 we all think the same thing don't we? Don't we Ben? We sure do and I'll let you say what that is. 71, the year that the final Apollo mission went to the moon. We stopped going to the moon, we gave it up. We found... Elon Musk's hands down. Can we seriously only do that for two years?

I guess. My goodness. Oh wait, no, I think I've read this wrong. Oh no I think I've read this wrong. The last of the H missions put it into H. Oh but those were the last good ones. Yeah. When was the last time a person walked on the moon? Wait did we only do it the one time or did other people said for it did it's just nobody cared. Apparently things only happen to have happen once and everyone's like, oh we've seen a guy walking on the moon. Show me a guy riding a dirt bike on the moon. Now I'm interested. And of course Ben and I are joined by Theo. Hi Theo. Hey, hello. How are we? We are pretty good, I think, the collective week.

Are you speaking for both of us? Yeah, well, you know, it's... If you could. Did you go with the coffee, Andrew? Did you go with the second coffee or did you get some booze? No, I'm switching to booze now. I'm having my late night coffee and I'm switching the booze. Just the one late night coffee. We'll see where that takes me. Two Irish coffees. I don't I don't think the Irish coffee. It's a bad time to me. It just doesn't taste good. I think that's the biggest problem with the Irish coffee. It's just not a good taste combination. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the the the the taste. taste. tas. tas. the tas. tas. the tas. their their tas. tas. tas. that that's. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's tas. tas. tas. tas. that's tas. tas. tas. tas. tas. tas. tase. tase. tase. tase. taste. tas. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. the their their ta. the ta. the the ta. the the the ta. the the ta. mind's eye that is like mmm a warming rich thing that you're tasting but for anyone out there who has just ever like put whiskey into black coffee or whatever it's just fucking sucks it just sucks it's not good at all like I think you meant to put it sugar in with it as well like a fair bit

well maybe you are but by that point I might as well be like dumping you know let's let's have like a collier in a latte or something at that you know. Absolutely not. Although maybe I would genuinely rather I would genuinely rather I would rather I would rather a glass of baleaas with espresso shot through it. I would rather an espresso martini the the coffee booze drink. What about a hot espresso martini? Just a boiling hot asprecesto martini. So it sets down like a thin-stemmed steaming. A glass too hot for you to touch. They everybody. They shake and pour it out of a

thermos. I will drink anything with whiskey added to it. If you were like, hey, slip some whiskey into this and handed me whiskey it doesn't matter what's in front of me. If it was a glass of orange juice, a bowl of cereal. Hey, you know what I reckon would fucking suck, big time. You know how people do the vodka watermelon? Oh yeah. That but with a bottle of whiskey through the watermelon. It was like slightly brown watermelon.

All flesh is brown. It's just kind of sour now. Bozo watermelon. That's what I'm all about right now. Oh, imagine putting a, imagine like absorbing a bottle of black sandbooker into a watermelon. That's a flavor combination. It's a catastrophe. I feel like we've left black sandbook behind, and rightly so. It's a very 90s kind of drink. Extremely 90s drink. I don't like I think the I just don't drink things now I drink like beer and whiskey and bourbon which is basically whiskey and I'd like if

someone's like let's do shots of this crazy thing I'm like no let's have a drink like a normal a drink that a person would have I would love one of those if you can. I remember my bachelor party, a guy dragging me over to the bar and just being like, what is the worst shot you have? He was just like, the question was like some, it sort of skirted the line between what is the strongest but also most unpleasant shots that you can make. And it wound up being, the acronym was ABC and it was like absinth and like the Bukaki The million proof. Bukkati 151?

Yep, yeah. Yeah, the one that's like the only alcohol at Australia that comes with a flammable warning on because it's so high proof that it ignites via open flame near it. Yeah, so obviously you've got to mix that with absence. Yeah. And then the sea is for cup. It sucks because it takes like you got to wait 10 minutes for the drink. The guy just hunched over in the corner he moves as far away from me as he can but he's still working the bar you know. He's the bar being his

erect penis. He, he's erect penis. He's working his erect penis. And God forbid you order like four of them or once. You're gonna be there for so long. Everybody behind you gets so mad. He's good for the first two and that's just like. He taxed out. Yeah, but the second one takes way longer to make. I feel like, I feel like we're really tap the really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really the the welly welly welly wea we'll really really really really really really really the to to the to to the to to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be to to to to to to to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the taping. Wea. Wea. We're the taping. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. He's the. He tags out. Yeah, but the second one takes way longer to make. Yeah.

I feel like I feel like we're really tap in the well of them the worst drinks. Just the worst drink See I I got the worst shot in the world on my bachelor party, but I was already shot you in the stomach just with a big gun. For 44 in the street. No, it was at the manna bar Oh you fucking tah. Oh, tuck. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. S, th. S, th. S, th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I was th. th. th. th. th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was like, I was th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's the th. I's the the the the the the the th. I's the th. I's the the th. I's tap. I's tap toged. toge. toge. toge. toge. toge. toge. toge. toge. toge. S. the. the street. No, it was at the manor bar. Oh, you fucking dork! Look, I had no... Oh my God! It wasn't me, all right? I didn't have control of where we were going.

It was one of many non-nerd-related places. Oh, for those other places. Like I just, for non-B non Brisbane listeners, like you can't understand how bad man a bar is. You can't understand how bad the man of bar is. It's Yahtzee's bar. I mean that's a good start. Oh my god really? Yeah. Okay, so and again just for context for anyone out there, if you've never seen a website called The Escapist, has a series of video game reviews, I call the Yancey. It's a British guy that talks really fast and hates everything. Yeah, zero punctuation they're called because he talks so fast.

But like, so the bar was, well, it's a video game bar, everything's themed with a pop culture reference, which is fucking fine, right? But it was... the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi-a, thi-a, thi-a' thi-a' thi-a' the' the' the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the, the. the, the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. thean. to-a. to-a'a'ean. to-a'ean. toean. toean. toean. thean. thea. thea. thea. thea's themed with a pop culture reference, which is fucking fine, right? But it's the world we live in. We get it. It was bad even for that. Like it was just a horrible space to go into. It had four TVs with consoles set up on them, one tiny bar and maybe like eight stools in the entire venue, and no one would move off a console once they got them. No, absolutely not. But also no one would socialize with you. So you'd be like, oh cool, you're playing this game and they just be like, mm-hmm. See I went to a place like this in Canberra and it was a very similar experience where like

you hear the theory, like gaming related place. Hey, we're all nerds we all love this stuff this will be lots of fun we can play Tekken against each other. Oh in fact this is where I met a friend of the show a big bag of keys you may know on Twitter. Beautiful man beautiful beard. Do we does he get kisses I don't want to give them out if it's not he's him one as a freebie. Oh, okay. Special treatment there. But yeah, it was one of these places and similar experience where I got there and was like, oh, because I think in your head when somebody says, oh, a place where you can like play video games and there's booze and stuff.

In my mind I go, oh yeah, a couple of arcade cabinets, some pinmore machines, something like that. And they get there and again, like you're saying, there's just like four TVs with various like, there's like a fucking steam box on one and like a Nintendo something with one of the Smash Brothers games on it, the Super Smash thing, whatever. And like one with like fucking FIFA on it. Cool. And then and then along one wall there's just multiple consoles all in a row or like just screens on the wall all the row with controls on them that all have just like fortnight on them. So the people just like standing in a venue with blasting music.

Oh, so this is like now. Yeah. Jesus, I thought they don't died out. Well, with any luck, this one will shortly. Because like, it was just that real difference between, you know, I know that a friend of ours, Ben, another Ben, runs some venues in Brisbane and like the new Netherworld, newish Netherworld that I would really like to get to at some point. There's a whole bunch of arcade games and pinball machines

and all that sort of shit. The thing is like... It's also a good bar, like it's a bar that you would go to to drink to, which a lot of these places have not done. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, no, this other place was also the kind of place where they have like, you know, two fucking terrible beers on tap and just shit drinks and everything is the absolute bog standard of bad bars kind of liquors by the counter and all that sort of stuff. Well can I say that I the one thing that I do remember from my box night was that they serve red versus

blue shorts and they are 12 dollars each and it's Grenadine and whatever the blue fucking thing is. Whatever it is. What's the blue thing? Blue? Um. I can't pronounce it. No one can pronounce it. Shatruse? It's definitely not Chartreuse. It's spelled like Curacao. Yeah, but I don't. Me too. Me too. It is a lesser Antilles island in the Southern Caribbean Sea. Nope. How fuck do you pronounce this? Computer? That's right folks. In 1971, the year the Queensland Premier Joe Bielke Peterson declared a state of emergency in order to allow the South African Spring Box football team to play. Wow.

What? Queensland. The most racist state. Do you think you guys hold that title? Yeah we got that. I mean in this... Oh that's interesting. The name of the island it's an S sound. Curisso? So... Oh, that's interesting. The name of the island, it's an S sound. Curacao. So look, if you know how to pronounce this, folks, please... Don't correct us. Well, do us a big favor and don't just write into the show with it in its written form, but we can't, can't figure it out.

Please record a... Curuso. It is Curuso. No, kuh with a, it's not a cure. It's a, it's not a diphthong. Hope that helps. Hmm. Now I'm thinking of David Curuso from NYPD Blue. I think that's what he's, his family's from there. Really? Yeah, absolutely. Oh. But it's spelled totally differently, Caruso. Yeah, the 20s family comes from. No, they're all Dutch Caribbean people. Welcome to Bonavista. The podcast about the origins of the family of beloved actor from NYPD Blue David Caruso.

He was also had a small part in the Bruce Willis flop Hudson Hawk. Guess he won't be attending that hat convention in July. One of the great film lines of all time. And it's like, are you doing? It's like dubbed in in post that line, isn't it? So good. Are you doing Hudson Hawkeet? As a two bit?

Yeah. I probably should in the future. I just don't know what I pair that with. It's such a singularly odd movie to exist. Oh, you've got to pair it with another like weird 90s freak out thing like, um... Preferably with Andy McDowell in it, who I love. Well, you've probably already done the Super Mario Brothers. Yes, I sure have.

But yeah, I'm thinking something of a similar vintage of 1990s, extremely weird vibes. Blockbuster that shouldn't exist. The pest. Oh, I... of 1990s extremely weird vibes. Blockbuster that shouldn't exist. The pest. Oh, this is like an ongoing battle between several friends of the two-bit event trying to convince me to put the pest on, and I just can't do it. It makes me so angry just thinking about it.

What about the opening sequence of that movie alone is the single most obnoxious thing in history. Yeah it's so good. Have you have you already done the 1990s Judge Dread movie? No but I can't because it is like two hours and 10 minutes long. Really? Yeah it's a long fucking movie. I always forget. I was literally just looking at it in my VHS shelving thinking, I might watch that when I go to bed tonight. It is wonderful despite the presence of Rob Schneider. It's a surprisingly possible Rob Schneider. It's not the worst Rob Schneider. And I don't know what the best Rob Schneider... No, hang, I'm 2096.

What's the worst? What's the worst? Why don't I think it was so long? It's absolutely not that long. Fuck I will do that. Are you thinking of like the criteria on director's cut of... Oh yeah, I only watch what's the best Rob Schneider? Yeah, what's the worst? What's the worst? What's the worst?

No, no, no, hold on. I'll be talking about the, as in just the least objectionable. Yeah, like one where he's in the movie and you're not fucking furious about it. He's, like a French drama. The bellhop in home alone to lost in New York. Oh, okay, well one way he's the star. Geez, you turn that one around quickly, didn't you? Well, I think when I say Rob Schneider movie... Well, he's certainly not the star of Judge Dred. He's comic relief, if anything.

He's not the star of that many movies, is he? No, and the ones that he is, um, let's not, you know, he's the star of movies like Big Stan, a 90 minute long prison rape joke. So, you know, I probably probably won't be putting that one on. Folks, Ben hosts a movie night in Brisbane. If you happen to be in Brisbane, look up the 2-bit movie club. Get on down there. Yeah, I might do that at some point. Yeah, fucking come to one, you dick. A bunch of friends of the show. Yeah, I might do that at some point. Yeah, fucking come to one, you dick. A bunch of friends of the show have come to these now and it's been lovely every time. We do actually have some VHS related questions for you, Ben.

Oh, I'd love to answer them. This evening's show. Let's take one now. Let's just take one right now. From a friend friend friend friend friend, Fingerless, who asks, My question is for Ben. Well, fuck you. Thank you very much. It's nice to be noticed.

What does he make of the limited edition VHS's that J.B. H.H. is wheeling out? Any copies of Chud has he bought back since he ran to his local J-B and back at super speed while this question began? Well they're not actually VHS though, right? Aren't they just, they're VHS cases with like a DVD or a Blu-ray inside? Is that that? No, they really? I mean, if they are actual tapes, I might go and buy them. Fukeling J-B-H-Hif-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-II.I.I.I.I. I th. I th. I, the-I. I'm th. I'm th. I th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. They're th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. I, th. I, th-H. I, th-H. I-H.S.S. I-H.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A. They're-I. They're-I.A.A.A. H.S. as we speak. See, I was curious about this question because I wondered if you might feel similarly about this as I do about vinyl?

Because you collect VHS like a madman with your redundant technology and I collect vinyl like a connoisseur, a smart investor in the future. Sure. But there is a parallel here where like J.B. Hi-Fi sells vinyl, but they sell like vinyl reissues of classic albums and shit so that you know... I'm fine with that, the vinyl one because it's not about when it was made, it's about the quality of the's about the quality of the pressing and the quality of the artwork and the whole thing like I don't

fucking care if my copy of fucking whatever albums I have were pressed yesterday or 20 years ago if it sounds really good and it looks really nice I am happy with that record. Yet you buy VHS which was made like 25 years ago and looks and sounds like shit. Yeah, well that's because there's a different thing about them. Like, VHS cases looked fucking amazing the 80s before they had to have like ratings classification on them so the artwork takes up like the whole box and like they generally are a little bit shitty because they were just pumping these out so there's all these little weird quirks and stuff to them. You get a bunch of weird trailers at the start so it's like a little snapshot of the time that it came out. You know you

get like all the weird little artifacts of how old it is sort of when it was released makes a huge difference with what you get whereas I don't think that's true with records. See, I disagree in that. Like, the only sort of new vinyl that I own, or, yeah, stuff that isn't secondhand, is either vinyl releases from, you know, some independent artist that I wanted to support by buying their thing, or the beautiful vinyl that the record label Italians Do It Better sells. Which is the, well it's the record label owned by Johnny Jewell, who is the guy behind like the chromatics and glass candy and like, he did did all like he chose all the songs for the drive soundtrack

Oh yeah and he's got a whole bunch of bands and stuff and they release this extremely beautiful vinyl and it's surprisingly affordable and it's surprisingly affordable you know it's like 30 bucks for a really nice two-disk, like two-toned, double-dipped, crazy 180-gram things or whatever. He's also a fucking psycho, which rules. He does stuff like the... He puts out like whole albums that are just like you know a two-hour long instrumental soundtracks to a movie that doesn't exist kind of thing and he had been advertising one that was going to come out for quite a while and then they just stopped talking about it and at some point somebody released a

statement because people kept asking about it and they said, yeah, these albums were all pressed and ready to go and in the warehouse and everything but because this is 100% Johnny Jules business that he owns and he makes all the music and he's in charge of everything he decided that the album was flawed so he went to the warehouse and destroyed them all himself. Which is such a boss move. Anyway, getting off track. Other than that, though, all the vinyl that I buy is like secondhand from like op shops or record stores or whatever.

And I tend to get stuff that I haven't heard before, or I haven't heard of. I haven't actually listened to. I tend to use it as a discovering music I haven't listened to before because generally speaking, if you put a record on, it's less effort to just let the whole record play than it is to go, I'm gonna skip this song. Whereas like the whole JB type thing of going, hey, you can come down here and pay 40 bucks for like a completely clean repress of Back in Black.

It's like cool, but if I want to listen to fucking Back in Black, I can just pull my phone out and instantly be streaming it in perfect quality. Probably remastered or whatever. I don't know, I kind of don't get the point. Anyway, besides anything else, the things that are selling a JB a fucking Blu-rays. Yeah. Blu-rays in a VHS style case. Which, yeah, I'm not, like, I don't think that's awful. They look kind of nice, and like I still buy Blu-rays, because I really like how Blu-rays-a-a-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I- I the the th- I th- I th- I th- I th- I th- I th- I th think that's awful. They look kind of nice. And like, I still buy Blu-rays, because I really like how Blu-rays look, but because I don't like how Blu-rays and DVDs generally look on display, they're hidden away, shamefully, in a plastic tub somewhere in my house, so... Oh, you don't have one of those cool racks to display your media? Oh, well, I mean, I have several bookcases to display. tha th tha. th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th like, I th like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, like th like, I like, I like, I like, I like th like th like th like th like th like th like th like th like th like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, I th like, like, like, like, thi thi th like, like, like, th like, th like, th like, I thi, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, I tub somewhere in my house, so... Oh, you don't have one of those cool racks to display your media?

Oh, well, I mean, I have several bookcases to display my tapes, but otherwise no. So, they are of no use to me, those, the VHS case re-release things, but I sanction anyone else's enjoyment of them. What stupid shit do you collect for you? He doesn't like spending money. No, I hate spending money. That's the answer. I was literally looking around my room going, nope, no, no. It's just-

It sounds like you collect money. Empty room, that's right. The most capitalist thing to collect. He collects having a beautiful deck attached to his home yeah that's nice no I do I have about nine records that's probably enough for one person I have like five PS4 games I've just finished Titanfall 2 so I can post that to any listener that would like to play there you guys sorry I'm just updating Titanfall 2, so I can post that to any listener that would like to play. There you guys.

Sorry, I'm just updating the original post. This item's now being claimed. Well, I did turn on my PS4 the other day and saw that Theo had earned many trophies in Timefall. It's so good. If you haven't played Type and fall, the single player mission, I don't play anything multiplayer, that's show law. It's so good. The single player campaign is absolutely flawless. And then, so I've been trying to do it because when I, when like Caitlin moved in with me, I had the 360 and I had the PS3 and I had like four million games and they all went in

like 10 big plastic tubs to EB and I went, ah, never again. Just stacks of shit that I was never going to play so I'm trying to like finish games and then like give them, give them away at the end sort of thing. I'm just living in the digital world now baby I'm just buying things online just downloading them straight to my fucking thing. Although that's it I did see a thing online recently where somebody was loudly complaining on the internet about a movie they had bought on the Apple store and they had purchased a film and they went to watch and they went to watch them and they had bought on the Apple store and they had purchased a film

and then they went to watch it and they just got a thing saying, ah, this item is no longer available in the Australian Apple store. And I said, uh, but I paid a full price for this movie and I thought I owned it now. And they spent a while like riding to Apple and trying to get them to actually respond to them. And eventually somebody did reply and said, Ah yes, you are quite right. Well, that has been removed from the Apple store in Australia and is no longer available, so I have credited your account with a free rental.

Thank you and goodbye. So this person paid like fucking 30 bucks for a license of a movie or whatever and they went, ah you're right, well just to update you on that situation it's gone forever but if you would like you can borrow one of our movies for 12 hours one time. It's so funny how we've been like jipped into just paying for like to hold intellectual property for a tiny amount of time? Just temporarily. It's not some amount of time. Yep. I mean like I'm fine with that with you know games and shit like that. I would I would far rather never pay for like the theoretical license of a movie or something like that and just like that. I would far rather never pay for like the

theoretical license of a movie or something like that and just pay subscriptions to some streaming services and watch what is on them. For that exact reason like it's not only is it insane to me that people did and still do pay like 30 bucks a pop for new blue DVDs and their thousand stuff up in their DVDs and Blu-rays and shit like that and just stack the stuff up in their houses. It's also insane to me that anybody would go on one of those services and just go, oh it's movies out, better pay 20 bucks for a copy of Big Hero Six.

I mean I can make the case for buying something that you're going to watch over and over and over again, right? So buy Blade Runner on Blu-ray or whatever. That's fine, right? But like, somewhere, you know, probably like at least three or four doors down for me in this neighborhood, somebody owns like the longest yard. Oh, the remake on DVD. Fucking in a shelf somewhere somewhere not far from here. Going into shops and looking at the Blu-ray section is amazing.

Because like they're full of Blu-rays now. It's actually a fucking great way to buy Blu-rays if you're into it because Op Shops will happen for like three bucks and there'll always be some good movies in there. But like people will get like fucking knocked up on Blu-ray. Just like, you know what, I want to see every single paw on Seth Rogan's nose. Every single pore of that baby's head, that's being pushed out of the fake vagina. It's just like the things that I've seen right. It's like I don't have hated actress Catherine Heagle's vagina. I's just like the things that I've seen right. Out of hated actress Catherine Heagle's vagina.

I just don't understand it. I will say though on that front that, um, wife of the show, my wife, Elna, and I were watching, um, classic movie, weird science the other day, in which two teenage boys use a computer to create a living sex doll for themselves. Very normal stuff. Got Bill Paxton with a great flat top. Now weird science is... It's got the beautiful Kelly LeBrock, British supermodel and a one-time wife of Stephen Seagal,

which is just grotesque to think about. You're always learning something on this show. Yep. And then she divorced him and accused him of beating the shit out of her all the time. So just in case you weren't convinced that Stephen Seagal's a big piece of shit. And you were saying that you like his movies? Oh no, I'm fascinated by them. It's different. Anyway, anyway, weird science. So we were watching that in Beautiful HD. And like you said, you can see all of everybody's paws and all that sort of stuff.

And we were sort of remarking on how different it is, or you get this completely different lens now watching a movie like that in HD because you can actually see shit you can see like what's printed on the mug that's sitting on the desk in the background you can like read all the posters on the walls all that kind of shit and I also find it kind of interesting to see like actors at different ages and stuff like that and actually being able to see stuff like what their skin was like, you know. It's interesting to watch something that you would have like watched a whole bunch of times on VHS as a kid and then watch it now and go, no, this actually looks different in this quality. So that's why I bought the longest yard and knocked up on Bluray. But I had to sell them to take them in them them them them their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their skin their skin their skin their skin their skin their skin their sk. their skin, their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their s. I's their s. I's their s. I's their s.e.e their s.e their sc.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e. I's their sc.e.e.e.e.e. So. So, the.e. So, their their sc. So. So, their sc. So, their sc. So, their sc. So, their sc. I bought the longest yard and knocked off on Blu-ray.

But I had to sell them to take him into the shop because... Sure. Running out of space in my house. Hmm. What's that you were saying there? You started saying something that you didn't... No, he's just trash. One man's trash is just trash. One man's trash he's just saying that one man's trash one man's trash is just trash one

man's trash one man's trash eventually becomes the landfills trash I think is the way that goes yeah sure I think that's that's another slightly good arguments for not one man's also trash is another man's also trash yes yes arguments for not. What man's trash is another man's also trash? Yes. Anyway, hey, here's an article from the news. Yeah, we have to at least pay a cursory eye to it, right? Pretend that we're interested in the news. All right, but this isn't, this isn't going to be like real news.

Okay. Here's an article from the ABC, the Australian Broadcasting Cunts. The Absinthe Bicardi 151-Com Corporation. Yes. Yes. Hundreds of social media thrill seekers charged over high-risk activities each year. And of course it turns out that this takes place entirely in Queensland. This article says more than 250 people a year are being charged in Queensland for taking

dangerous risks with many arrested after posting their stunts on social media. Queensland police figures obtained by the ABC show 1,386 offenders have been charged in the past show 1,386 offenders have been charged in the past five years for acts deemed as, quote, unregulated high-risk activities, such as base jumping and skydiving off buildings. Hell yeah. Oh, dear. Uh, criminal lawyer Bill Potts has represented some of the offenders and said that this type of,

quote, ''Bostful behavior behavior made enforcement easier for police. Quote, they're not just merely risking their light, oh wait a minute, that's not what he's saying. More often than not, they're wearing helmets that have a GoPro or similar cameras on them and the police have to do very little more than produce the evidence that they have filmed themselves. The perfect crime. So like like, the the the the the the the the the the perfect crime. So like, the perfect crime. So like, the the the perfect crime. So like, the the perfect crime. So like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the perfect crime, like, like, like, the perfect, the perfect, the perfect, the the the their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the the the the the the the their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their their the, the, theat, theat, theat, thease, thooooooooooo.e.e.a, thease. Wea, the. And, the, the. And, the perfect crime. The perfect crime. So like I was reading this and going, oh yeah, some people jump off bridges, whatever. And then I was like looking at some of the clips that are attached to this thing. Such as 26 year old Chinese rooftoper, Wu Yongning. Rooftopper? That's in quotes. Is that my cat or someone else's cat? It's not mine

because I don't have one. This damn noise. Hmm. Yeah, there's a video on this thing of, so it's got rooftop in inverted commas there. I'm assuming that's how this young gentleman referred to himself. And it's got him just like standing on the very edge of like insanely tall buildings and hanging off the side and doing like pull-ups and stuff and all that kind of thing. You don't like heights do there? Not good to me, being up high. What is good to you? Being on the floor, right in the middle of a completely empty room.

Securely on the floor. Ideally, at room temperature. Well, I mean, everything room is... Don't you fucking don't. I don't need this shit from you. Because I want to say, uh, YouTube prankster Luke Irwin faced court in Brisbane earlier this year after uploading a video of himself jumping off the Goodwill Bridge. Oh yeah, I remember that.

What's that? As in, not as in I saw it, I remember when that happened. Remember the ruckus. Despite being fined, 1200 clams for the stunt. Mr. Irwin addressed the media outside court and encouraged people to subscribe to his YouTube channel. He was doing what I believe was called some shit like the salmon challenge which was where these fuckheads if one of their friends was like salmon and they were near a body of water I had

to jump into it like they were a salmon leaping out and back into the water. Perfect. His mate did that to him. I mean he filmed it so it was staged obviously but like while he was on the Goodwill bridge. And then cops saw him jump in and were like hey, you can't do that. So um, so yeah I was looking at this and I was like, pnanny state always trying to come down on everyone. And then I just caught this little paragraph. In July this year, American rill Seeker Jackson Coe was found dead at the base of a building in New York, while 26-year-old Chinese rooftop, Wu Yongning, also plunged to his death after falling from a 62-story building in November.

I'll tell you what, folks, 62 stories is a long time, it's a long time to think about what's going on. Like, Theo, do you want to crunch the numbers there real quick? Human body, what's 62 that's, 62 floors is like 150 meters. What about crunching here? Yeah, you're crunching, the average weight of a human body, the rate of acceleration. If you can... Well, the rate of acceleration is totally separate from weight. The weight doesn't come into it. So 1.81 meters per second.

If you could figure out what the average weight of a 26-year-old Chinese rooftop is. Don't need to do the weight. It's not part of it. It's independent. You're absolutely right. of his body will affect the wind resistance as he falls. That's true and I don't have access to information. How do we gauge the terminal velocity of this young man? Oh, I think you can... He would not have to hit terminal velocity before he hit the ground. Although he did hit a terminal velocity because he's fucking died. Yeah. Um, what a way to go, folks. You got to think thi that like thi, like thi, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, thi. thi. thi, thi, thi, the the they. they, they, they, they, they, the the the the the the the the the the the the their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, they. they. they. they. thi. thi. thi. thi. theeei. thean, thean, thean, theuu-s. thu-s, thi. thea. the. the. the. th. th. think, you got to think that like, so he's he's slipped or

whatever, he's lost his grip, he has begun to fall, probably been falling for a couple of seconds and he's had enough time to think, well, you know, this was bound to happen. Like, he's probably had like, do you think, do you think you would be like five or six seconds, right? I surely a bit longer than that for, oh no. Because it's basically... But we're talking like six, one Mississippi's, you know, to really let that sink in. But, um, it just really makes me wonder whether, like, whether the thoughts in your head of the thi thi, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, know, to really let that sink in. But it just really makes me wonder whether like whether the thoughts in your head of the time would be like, you know, oh my god what is what is happening? What can I do to stop this thing my

life is flashing before my eyes bang? Or would you be thinking like boy is my face red? Like I would, there would have to be like some party that was like, I should have seen this come. I honestly don't think you'd be able to gather it into like words or a sentence. No. I think it would just be like primal screaming. Just one long, oh, fuck. I think you would have one horrifying, overwhelming realization and then you'd be dead. I think you would just be like, oh, that's, uh, dead. Whoopsy, daisy. That's fucking terrify to me.

That's like, my, one of my, the biggest fears I have is just that, that moment of knowing that you're about to die and that's about, and there's nothing you can do about it. That scares the fucking shit out of me. th. th th th. th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi. I thi. I thi. I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thin, thin, that, thin, thin. I'm that, thin. I'm that, that, that, thi. I thi. I thi, I that you're about to die and that's about and there's nothing you can do about it that scares the fucking shit out of me so I definitely want my death to be like just completely out of nowhere okay I'll keep that in mind like I want no notice I want to be capped in the back of the head I want someone to wait until I'm sleeping at the age of 85. Put a gun against the back of my head and they're just, bam, straight in there. Get a little greedy there, 85, geez. I think with the advances in modern science, we could still be quite vital for a while. So, we asked for questions.

And we got a million questions. Should we just start hooking into it? Yeah. What do you think, Thea? Are you just taking some notes about exactly how Ben wants to be shot and where and when? Yeah, absolutely. Are you doing that maths for it? I am, actually. Oh, all right.

I give you about six seconds on the way down, assuming that it's 180 meters. Is that the number that I gave? It was the number that you gave. It was. It was the number that you gave. It was incredible intuition for how long it will take to be to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. the. that the. that the. I that the. that the. that that that thi. I thi. I thi. I thi it will take to fall 65 stories. This thing I've always said about you Ben. I think about it very frequently. It's always on my mind. That's how like if, yeah, if I had to kill myself though for some reason? I would totally want to jump off like a skyscraper out of the plane with the issue. I had a very long conversation with a friend

of mine this afternoon about that and we arrived at there's basically no good one because the either you're basically choosing between your death being unpleasant for you and your body being unpleasant for the people that'll find it. Like all the good quick ones you're causing a fucking hell of a mess. And like even overdosing on pills, you'll like vomit and shit yourself and stuff. And like, no one wants to walk in on you and be like, oh, oh, you know? You want a nice, clean corpse. I mean, there is a way to have both a quick, quick way out and leave no trace. I mean, first you're going to want to be the pilot of flight MH-370.

On a certain fateful day. So the solution is to be shut down by Russian rockets somehow. That was MH-17. I assume any plane that goes missing is due to rockets fired by people. Russian military forces in an illegal paramilitary incursion into Crimea? Yes. It doesn't matter where the plane goes down. That's what's done it.

Oh dear. No, my wife says that she knew that she loved me when I was telling her how I would ideally kill myself in order to scar as many people as possible. Yeah, we might actually be going for very different things here with our... This is... I don't think this is good. No, no, I'm like, well it's like you're saying Ben, you know, you could have somebody walk in and find your body and have it all be very serious. Or you could do something like, go up to the top of the building in the CBD and hook like a, I'm thinking of a thin length of strong wire, you know, something piano-wireish, but you want it to be long, right?

I feel like maybe for the first... Roughly... We should put a content warning on this episode. I feel like this needs to be rewound and... You want just a long bleep over this. If... Effectively, yes. Hmm. What I'm saying is you want to pop that head off halfway down, right? But you've also pulled the pin from a grenade that shoved down the front of your pants.

Before you make the leap... I'm following. Ideally, a head pops on with the sidewalk first. People look around and they freak out. Then a body hits the ground, everybody really starts to freak out, and then the body vaporizes covering everybody in the street. You want to sort of assimilates the scenario where all those times they've tried to blow

a whale corpse up? Yeah, yeah, and they're like, let's tidy this mess up. I really love that this is something that has happened more than once throughout history. It's so good. It's not the whale incident. It's a series of whale explosion incidents. I wonder if you could ask in your will for that to be. You know what, you can ask? It is not a legally binding thing what they do with your body. Oh my goodness. Yeah, you know, just like, just take me out to the beach and vaporize me. Flowing up like, do the whale style. The like typical human reaction to the question, do we need more dynamite as always?

Well, probably. Yeah, I couldn't. I mean, do you want it done or do you want it done? It's not going to hurt. Wasn't that kind of the problem with one of them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. the radius. th. the radius. the radius. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the radius. the radius. Yeah. Yeah. the radius. Yeah. Yeah. the radius. the the the the the the the the radius. the the the th. the the the th. the the the the the the th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. the the th. th. the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the the the the the the. the the. the the the. the the. the the. the the the. the. they found stuff was like an unbelievably high number, like 50 Ks or something of just like, holy fuck, where did this come from and why has it smashed the witch shield of my car? By the way, if you are bored and you're looking for something to read, please go and look up the Halifax explosion. Do you guys know about this one? Not by name, no.

So, it was a cargo ship carrying ammunition in Halifax Bay. I believe that was in like Southern Canada. So wait, do you want people to look, read it or you can tell them? Anyway, anyway, so they collided with this other boat in like this very slow comical kind of Austin Powers ish collision wasn't comical to the people that died there no it wasn't and then the boat blew up vaporizing so much water that the bottom of the harbor became visible oh my god the anchor was found like 50 kilometers away of this huge boat. It leveled the town absolutely. Just nuke the town. Go and look it up.

It's it's the best article on Wikipedia. I guarantee you. That is insane. So here's our first question. Here's the first question. Here's the first question. Uh, front. Second, actually, we had the first one before. Lover of the show. Divex Greg says, please give three cheers for Theo, then both say something about him that you admire. I'll lead it off, Ben. Sure. Hip, hip, hi-hip, hurray.

Hip, huray. Hip, hiray. Hip, h'oe'eray. For he's a darling affair. No, we're not. That part is not happening. What I love about Theo is his swollen brain, overflowing with so many numbers, so many numbers.

It hurts a lot. Just pressing on the outside. Constant headaches, my gums are bleeding. Numbers spilling out. Thank you, Andrew. Oh, you're so welcome, buddy. Um, what I spilling out. Thank you, Andrew. Oh, you're so welcome, buddy. What I love about Theo is the little shit-eating grin that he does, when he said something that he knows is insanely funny,

and he's trying to play it off like it's not that big of a deal, but he can't, because he's simultaneously trying to hate his face and look at your face to see your reaction. It is truly wonderful and it's usually when he has said something incredibly shitty. It's great, I love it. It's one of my favorites of your mannerisms. You can take that to the bank. Thank you Pat. Let's see what else we got here we got a got a question from friend of the show let me see if I'm pronouncing this rat. Lucy Valentin. Lucy Valentin who for the record is a patron of the show. Yeah I keep telling her I'm like. Me to Valentino. Who for the record is a patron of the show. Yeah yeah I keep telling her, I'm like, me too. I'm like, you know that, like, Patreon takes fees out of that, PayPal processes at all and everything.

You'd be better off. She's had a loss for sure. Yeah, who knows? Who knows? Who knows? Just trying to bump other numbers. Co-host and friend of the show Lucy Valentine. Who is currently both slamming and getting slammed, I think we will say. Okay. Okay. I don't think she would disagree with this characterization. Lucy is or has or whatever, however the fuck time works.

Moved, moved temporarily to Hawaii. That's right folks. The island. She's moved away. Fuck. So we're gonna, you know, we're just gonna try and figure out how to synchronize our schedules. Like we're trying to line up all of our periods. And then we'll, we'll get Lucy back on here. I'm sure it won't take trying to line up all of our periods. And then we'll get Lucy back on here. I'm sure it won't take too long to figure out. I think, I think though, from my

perusings of it, she's going to have to stay up late. That's what it sounds like to me. Which is good because it means if we had to do it the other way and make Theo, late, then it'd be trouble. You'd have a cranky Theo. Anyway, the question from Lucy is, what is your favorite quality about Lucy? Oh. See, this is tough because I've spent roughly a Malcolm Gladwell ten thousand hours with Theo, and no time with Lucy. I feel like she's the mystery of the podcast. I have met her once. Me too.

But a long time ago. So, um, nobody's, nobody's very forthcoming here. I'm thinking. I love, uh, I appreciate that she is an agent of chaos. I love, uh, Lucy's Pauline Hansen impersonation. Hmm. Sublime. Hmm. Her willingness to continue with IBS jokes even though she has inadvertently cured her own IBS. What did she do that? She got, um, she got like different medication for something completely unrelated,

and it's just cured her IBS. Wow. Wait, the IBS was real real? Yeah. Yeah, oh it's fully real. Very much. Huh. Which is why I was always like why do you eat a pizza for dinner every night? Big cheese pizza for dinner every fucking night? Did I know this when we started doing it or have I just... I've just been bullying her the whole time? Yes, you have. Wow. Huh. How about that? But it's fine now. It's fine now because it's cured. So I think I might that will probably be my thing. I really like that she has allowed herself to be repeatedly bullied for having IBS. What a champ. Hmm. All right.

And nothing from Theo. Okay, moving on. He was the first. What? He said the agent of chaos thing. Oh, come on. It said she was mysterious. That's true. I don't feel like she would appreciate any kind of sincerity. So, true, she was mysterious. I don't feel like she would appreciate any kind of sincerity.

Hmm. True. She'd be even more uncomfortable with it than you are. Oh, I doubt that, but... Friend of the show, Roland, says, I saw a tweet about this, and I'm now genuinely curious. How does, DeSharezone manage to get away with saying bitch so often? I quite enjoy their posts and hadn't really thought about that before. I think they get away from it for two reasons, they get away with it for two reasons. The first is that they are parroting the forms very obviously of that sort of

shitty skeleton picture, whatever thing, and they're using the language of that in a way that makes fun of it, and it's very clear that that's what the joke is. No one is thinking that they're doing it sincerely. They are making fun of that sort of thing. Yeah, of like the, the, I can't even think of like one of those fucking shirts that they sell on Facebook, you know? They suck. They're all tea-but and they're all this weird, hyper-masculine, very aggressive posturing, which is what they're taking the piss out of, and they never never th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. th, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thi, thi, thi, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, the, thin, thin, theee thin, thin, the the the thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, is what they're taking the piss out of, and they never do it in a way where it feels like they're doing it because it's fun. It's always clear that they're making fun of it, which I think makes a huge difference. And I also think they get away with it, because every single thing they post

makes it very clear that it's coming from a good place. Yeah I think the the account or the whole concept or whatever itself is also like genderless. Yeah. In like everything is always being said by a skeleton. But like I was thinking about this as well. I think there's several several possibilities here one of which is like I think that there are terms which a little while ago people were trying to cast as like oh they don't really mean the bad thing. We're making them mean something else.

Like, you know, like people saying like retard or fag or whatever, you know. Those are things where I think people, for a while, we're trying to do like the South Park thing of saying, oh, fag doesn't mean slow against gay people, it just means someone who's acting like a dickhead. And yeah, same thing for like, retard, where I think a lot of people started off going, but apologies to anyone if I'm meant to be saying, ah word or anything like that. But yeah, I think a lot of people also sort of went, oh, we just said that, it that, it that, it that, it that, that, that, that, that, that, that, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi's thi's thi's thi thi thi thi's thi's thi's thi's th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi means means means means means means means th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin th'm meant to be saying a word or anything like that. But yeah, I think a lot of people also sort of went, oh, we just said that growing up.

We didn't mean anything specific about it, or you know, we didn't mean, like this, this is my favorite misguided one. We didn't mean insult about developmentally disabled person. We meant stupid idiot. You're like, yeah, that's part of the problem. However I think I think for a lot of people these days that like bitch is more in the the way a lot of people use it is more in the realms of like the big dick energy thing. We're on its surface it's gendered in its usage, it's very much not. Like I think that the way a lot of people,

a lot of younger people would like use and say, bitch, as in, like, I'm trying to think of a example, but yeah, even the exactly the kind of stuff, this question is about the share zone stuff. Calling in Lake to work, bitch. Yeah, that stuff is very, very clearly, like you were saying, Ben, very clearly not coming from a place where it's like, insulting someone on the basis of, you have the qualities of a woman,

like that's very clearly not how people use it in that sense. Whereas if somebody were to for example say to a woman you're acting like a real bitch right now that would be very very different as far as the usage goes. But yeah I think it's I think it's more like that big dick energy kind of thing where I feel like the the half the joke of the big dick energy thing is deliberately separating it from gender. Yeah. You know, what do you think there? Yes. Thank you. Thank you. Oh dear or dear we have a follow-up here from wife of the show Brick Dust Otis. On our previous episode, oh no.

Dintin. With a friend of the show Eleanor Robertson, we were asked a question from Brick Dust Otis about whether or not he is valid for drinking his mug of warm, warm rock star energy drink every morning and we all said, gross, you big sicko. You're valid but also please have some self-respect. Brick Dostod says, after being roundly owned by my wife's, I now drink tea. Please recommend me some good tea and tissues for the wiping of my many tears.

I am a tea basic. Big basic, basic tea bitch. The fucking, the regular ass Dilma that you buy in packs of 10,000 Is my favorite shit in the world. I feel like the more in bulk tea is actually the better it is That's my feeling as well. Yeah, I agree. I'm tellies. It's fun. I'm not really like a T2 kind of guy Not really no. It's a scam. It's a scam. You want to know why any of those motherfuckers you open them up you pop them open and you the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th th th th th th th th th tho the world. the tho, their their their their their their their their their the world. the world. the world. I the world. I the world. I the world. I the world. I the world. I the world. I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I th. I th. I th. I tho. I tho. I tho. I thoooooooooo. I'm thoooo. It's tho. It's their? Any of those motherfuckers, you open them up, you pop them open and you go, oh my goodness, this smells like grape-flavored ju-ju bean. Yeah, fucking don't trick me with that shit. If tea, like, if the leaves smell like beautiful raspberries and then you'd the tea. You have been a monster. Exactly, you smell it and you go, ooh this is

like fruity pastels and then you put water in it and you go, it tasks like hot water. That said, I've been treating myself lately with some good old-fashioned English breakfast tea, but I've been putting two tea bags in that motherfucker, making them real strong. Make it super strong. Big dose of milk. Double bag in it. Bit of sugar for a little treat. A little treat. Beyond that, I like to drink jasmine tea.

Like just straight up Chinese restaurant grade jasmine tea. I enjoy it. You can drink a whole lot of it. You can go nuts on that shit. It's very cheap. And I only learned very recently that Jasmine tea is just green tea flavored with jasmine flowers. I thought I thought. I thought it was made from Jasmine I guess. I don't know what the fuck I thought but uh turns out it's just a flavored variation of green tea. I do not care for like the Japanese style green tea that kind of smoky.

No, it's okay. Not to me. Not to me. I think it's like, I think it's like whiskey. I don't to drink it extremely slowly. I don't know if you can say no to someone saying I don't care for something. I think it remains true that he doesn't care for it. I'm just going to say I don't like, I don't like match her across the board. Oh, what about like...

In an ice cream? That shit? That shit, I'm the ice cream, thi. that's, and that's, that's, the fucking, that's, that's, the fucking, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is the fucking, is the fucking, is the fucking, is the fucking, is the fucking, is the fucking, is the fucking is the fucking is the fucking is, is the fucking is the fucking, is the fucking is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is the, is, is the, is, is the, is the, is the, is the, is the, is the, is the, is the, is the, is the, is the, is the, is the, is the, is the fucking, is the fucking, is the fucking, is the fucking, is the fucking, the fucking, I.. I. I. I. I. I the fucking, the fucking, the fucking, the fucking, is, the fucking, is, I. I fucking, is, is the fucking, is that, is that, is like some green tea ice cream. But, um, so you can. The ice cream, yes, and then beyond that, I'm just like, give me a fucking break, I'll have normal cheesecake, thank you. There's some fucking regular ass cheesecake. Um, but yeah, I've been having a bit of, um, some kind of white tea. Oh, milk? No, that's not what I mean.

I don't know, some kind of tea. Theo, you got any favorite kind of tea? Yeah, no, like I said, I mean, I like the cheap stuff. Earl Gray at a push. Mm-hmm. But, yeah, I mean, I think it's one of those things where it's, it's so simple. There's nothing, there's nothing to it and there's no improving it. So what are you going to do?

Yeah, I'm just, Tetley's in a bag, in the cup, dash of milk. And when it comes to tissues And when it comes to tissues, when it comes to tissues, um, look, you might be thinking to yourself, yes, Kleenex with aloe vera to soothe my sore nose is a good idea. Also a scam. Well, not only is it a scam, but I can't clean my glasses with that shit. I like to clean my glasses with just a fresh tissue. You can get all the shit the shit the shit the shit the shit the shit the shit the shit the shit the shit the shit their their their their their their their their their glasses with that shit. I like to clean my glasses with just a fresh tissue. You can get all the shit off your glasses with it. If you get the one like the aloe vera type tissues,

it just it just rubs like a layer of greasy film on your shit. You gotta get the plain ones for that for sure. Right. I just want some plain asses tissues. a while, unless you are actually in the grip of a severe cold, but you have specified that you are merely using them for wiping away your tears, so I think the aloeuvra is overkill. Also you don't want like the eucalyptus ones, me dabbing in your eyes with those, that's no good. And of course, and of course I've got to have my tissue's man-sized.

Oh yeah, of course, and of course I gotta have my tissue's man-size. Oh yeah, of course. Gotta have my big, my big dick tissues. Fucking hell. I... Is that one of those situations where it's fine for me to think it's dumb that people are mad at man-sized tissues and to think that it's dumb for people to get angry that man-man-sized tissues and to think that it's dumb for people to get angry that mad man-sized tissues had their name changed? Can I just think the whole thing is fucking stupid?

It's just, it's paper, it's soft paper, my snot goes in there. Yeah but I don't want people to think I'm using tissues for pussies. I don't really feel about it. I think that tampos. Like, good one there. Well, I just saw tissues for pussies. Trademark. Um, yeah, I don't know. I just, I love like, just, you know, when that story was going around about like them changing the name of man-sized tissues because people

just change it to big tissues? Yeah people were like oh what are we gonna what are we gonna change it to? Gender neutral tissues and shit and I'm like how about hey if you ever seen this applied to any retail product fucking ever extra large tissues big ass tissues. It's fine. It's all they are. So just, it's bigger than another ones. A4 tissues. Here's an idea, two tissues. I do like to have two tissues personally because of all my powerful snots. Let's splast through a few more here. A friend of the show, TK Donut says, what are each of your favorite Australian rappers

and what's their best song? Trick question, there are no good Australian rappers. Absolutely no good Australian rappers. You fucked up. Who's the main guy from 1,200 techniques? Moving on. Moving on. Moving on. Now I feel like, uh, it's got to be...

I mean... No, I refuse to compromise on this position. I will not listen to Australian rap or if you prefer skip hop. Look, on a very... On a personal level, Briggs is the fucking coolest guy. Oh yeah, no, you got me there, you got me there. Actually, I'm gonna completely get owned on this one and say, I quite enjoyed listening to that AB original album last year.

So that's the winner. That's the winner. I feel like I've just I've got a very nagging sensation that I'm forgetting some people. Well here's my issue right it's and this is this one's tricky right? And I find a lot of the like a lot of Australian hiphop, of the stuff that I've listened to. It's like that it doesn't have the grounding in whatever kind of like culture that American hip-hop does. So, like, you know, it just turns into the hilltop woods type I like hip-hop and also partying Kind of rap Where's just like a lot of it's very kind of

Corny as well and I think I know was at the YKS guys maybe they were talking about like the the? So talk about like, the number one ruling in hip-hop is like don't be corny. The Australian hip-hop like white hip-hop is the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the, the, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the the, like, like, like, like, like, like, the, like, like, like, the, the, that's right. Yeah, and like the number one rule in hip-hop is like, don't be corny. And Australian hip-hop, like white hip-hop is, it's so corny, like they've got all these like overproduced choruses and they're all about fucking hoverboards or not going to school, like it's just, like, there's no teeth to it. Yeah whereas like that A. V. original album had fucking teeth because they like had some actual shit to talk about. That's right. And I kind of get the sense that a lot of it. I could

be wrong I'm sure somebody's gonna get up my ass about this and say oh but have you have you listened to these 16 albums and I'll tell you this I don't want it we are almost certainly wrong I would like to say this up to job that this is not something any of us particularly familiar with it's not like we have done deep dives into this and because I mean this is Australian hip-hop is largely been something that's picked up by Australia's immigrant communities we are all very insulated something that's picked up by Australia's immigrant communities, we are all very insulated from that and very removed from that. Yeah, I feel like what we get hip-hop-wise is through the lens of Triple J.

Yes, and the Triple J shit sucks us. Yeah, but also on a completely surface level, like Australian hip-hop to me is like suddenly hearing Rebel Wilson's Australian accent in the middle of like a Hollywood blockbuster movie. I find the Australian accent in general just pulls me out of things. Well, that's exactly my point though, is that like, if I'm watching like a fucking, like a, like a, like that ridiculous Michael Bay movie, Pain and Gain, and then suddenly, just in the middle of it, it's, like, in the middle, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like a like that ridiculous Michael Bay movie pain and gain and then suddenly just in the middle of it there's rebel Wilson going oh I like black guys you know just regular ass voice doing a weird like racist thing because

it has to be a racist joke but yeah like you like you said, it just pulls me right out of it. And that's exactly how Australian hip-hop makes me feel. It's like when you go to walk on a tread, on an escalator and the escalator stopped, but you don't know it's stopped. And your brain just gets, yeah, there's just that moment of whiplash when you hear an Australian accent in a movie, in a thininin, in a movie, in a movie, in a movie, in a movie, in a movie, in a movie, in a movie, in a movie, in a movie, in a movie, in a movie, in a movie, in a movie, in a movie, in a movie, in a movie, in a movie, in a movie, in a movie, in a movie, in a movie, in a movie, in a movie, in a movie, in a movie, in a movie, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in a, in a, in a thi, in a movie, in a movie, in a movie, in a movie, in a movie, in a movie, in a movie, in a movie, in a movie, in a movie, in a movie, in a movie, in a movie, in a movie, in a movie, in a movie, in a movie, in a movie, in a movie, in a movie, in a movie, in a movie, in a movie, in a movie, in a movie, in a movie, in a movie, in a movie, in a movie, in a movie, in a movie, in a movie, in a movie, in a movie, in a movie, in a movie or what have you and like, I don't know about you guys, but are you like totally incapable of now telling what a real and not real Australian accent is in media? Like in, in like, in like- I mean if it's very bad like it is in the new season, the good place, or the first couple of episodes. I'm sorry, are you talking about like someone who's not Australian doing an Australian accent? No, I'm talking about the total inability now for me to tell the difference.

Just because I'm so used to Americans doing Australian accents that like there's sound, there's voices that I hear in real life and there's voices on TV and like there's this this dividing wall in my brain between the two of them. So when like an accent on TV is like when I hear an accent in like American TV or what have you, an Australian accent, I have no faculty for telling whether it's good or bad anymore. Hmm. I tell you what fucks me up is my five-year-old daughter, when she either says a thing that she heard on TV or is just singing songs like off the radio, she sings them in an American accent and she'll like say a phrase that a character on a show says and she says it in

an American accent and I'm always like, oh, does, and I have no idea if she is aware of doing it in any sense? I'm sure she isn't. Well yeah, like, well I'm sure for example that she doesn't even get the difference between an Australian and an American accent or whatever. But again, you know, we might have talked about this before. I imagine that that's why, for example, a lot of a lot of Australian actors go to America and just do American accents and it's fine and people can't tell, whereas if you take an American and go do an Australian accent

Like, you know, 98 times out of a hundred it fucking sucks And it's extremely clear very quickly what's happening and I assume that's purely because of You know like Australians Saturated with American pop culture from a really young young age whatever percentage of your entertainment is that uh... whereas like you know the the only the only Australian shit that americans are aware of i would have thought you know i'm talking i guess more in the recent past as opposed to

now for example where americans could be listening to an Australian podcast. Who would thuck it? You know? They shouldn't though. You shouldn't. You don't want to learn all about secrets. They're a horrible Australian secrets. Now if you do want to know go on go on eBay and see if you can purchase the complete season of, a collection of water rats. Just really get you started. My wife's been watching the The Bachelorette. New season of The Bachelorette. Big pile of dog shit. Makes me, makes me crazy, makes me yell, just yell around the house.

But, um, but like it means that she'll have the TV on and there's ads from like free to wear TV going. So I see ads for just like Australian dramas and shit and straight away I was like, hey, is that that guy who was on Heartbreak High and later Water Rats? Probably was. Kurt from Heartbreak High, if you remember. I do not. You really got seven actors.

Yeah, it's true. Although, I'll tell you what, Dras, Zzik, heel, I'll tel you what, dras, I do. He's in all the shit now. I've got a step brother named Jassic. Do you really? Excellent. I do. Bless his heart. Well, um, well that actor, what's his... He's got like a very Slavic name, doesn't he? What is his fucking name? Like Bogdan?

What's it? But yeah, that dude's in like, um, he was in one of the Captain America movies. He was in like, uh, the, the, the, oh, it's not Bogdano, it's Callan, Mulvey. Wow. That's an extremely non-Slavic name. I apologize, everybody. But yeah, he was getting him and Slobodham, a lot of it mixed up. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He was, he was, he was, he was in, he was in, he was in, he was in, he was in, he was in, he was in, he was in, he was in, he was in, he was in, he was in, he was in, he was in, he was in, he was in, he was in, he was in, he was in, he was in, he was in, he was in, he was in, he was in, he was in, he was in, he was in, he was in, he was in, he was in, he was in, he was in, he was in, he was in, he was in, he was in, he was in, he was in, he was in, he was in, he was in, he was in, he was in, he was in, he was in, he was in, he was in, he was in, he was in, he was in, he was in, he was in, the the the the the th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. getting him and Slobodomovich mixed up. Yeah, he was in Captain America the Winter Soldier. He was in Batman versus Superman. He was in Warcraft, the Warcraft movie. Oh God, I can't think. What the fuck was up with that movie? It could have been so much fun and it was just such a fucking horrible piece of shit. Zero Dark 30. He helped kill Osama Bin Laden.

Really? That was nice to be him. What's a big ass movies? Not a nice guy. That Osama bin Laden? Oh, I thought you were talking about Calum Muldee. I don't know, but if you helped killto kill us I've been learning. It's all right by you, huh? That's my usual metric for measuring how good people are. That's right folks. Ben is now a fan of unsanctioned extrajudicial killings. So just chalk that one up to him and show cannon. Well, it looks like we're up to about an hour and 11 minutes. Time to turn off the podcast. Yep. That's right, folks.

Um, look, let's be real. It's been a pretty, pretty unfocused episode as they go. But let's be honest, everything it was happening in the news this week was just fucking dumb. It sucked. There was a lot of dumb shit and it was fucking stupid. You know what, I'm gonna rattle it off. Tony Abbott was a fucking weird guy, one of the parliamentary cameraman or whatever put up a video of him being weird for a minute and he was real fucking weird. Scott Morrison put up a bunch of videos where he was really patronizing in there was like fake 80s political ads.

Fraser Anning was kicked out of Catta's Australian Party. Uh, fucking, that's it. I don't care what else happened. Uh, your crime pass for this week is, it's okay to not watch the news. Just fucking check out for a week. Just give yourself a break, you know? If you were tuning in hoping to hear some kind of recap of the very important Wentworth by election, you can subscribe on Patreon.

tho and the thi. In order to hear me and Theo do that very thing between this episode and the previous episode. So get on over there if you're interested in all that kind of bullshit. But if not, don't because otherwise you'll just be paying money for a thing that you've already stated that you're not interested in. It would be madness. Wouldn't make any sense. So until next week folks, stop looking the news for a minute. It sucks. Fucking sucks. I feel like Australia is just stuck in a state where we're all just waiting for the next election to happen. We are in extremely lame duck territory with

this government. They are just a big fucking mess. They don don't know what they're doing, they are eating each other alive, their approval ratings are in the toilets and sink further in every week. So on one hand we can all take some satisfaction in knowing that I guess you know there will be a fucking bullet put in it sooner rather than later, but also we're still going to have to wait anywhere up to six months for that shit. So, enjoy that. And on that note, goodbye. Bye bye.

Bye. the