Boonta Vista - EPISODE 74: Brexit Through The Grift Shop (Featuring @milo_edwards)

Episode Date: November 19, 2018

Milo Edwards of the TRASHFUTURE podcast joins Andrew, Lucy & Theo to give us a Brexit For Dummies - how it started, where it's currently at and - most importantly - what the Spice Girls think about all this. - Find Milo on Twitter at https://twitter.com/Milo_Edwards - Check out TRASHFUTURE https://itunes.apple.com/au/podcast/trashfuture/id1261944206?mt=2 Support the show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista *** Merchandise now available: boontavista.com/merchandise *** Twitter: twitter.com/boontavista iTunes: tinyurl.com/y8d5aenm Stitcher: www.stitcher.com/s?fid=144888&refid=stpr Pocket Casts: pca.st/SPZB RSS: tinyurl.com/kq84ddb

Welcome to Bu Vista, episode 74. I'm Andrew. I'm here with Theo. Hey! Beautiful nervous Theo. Thank you. This is me being as normal as I can. I love how weird this is and we're only 15 seconds in. We got that real nervous Theo. Thank you. Oh, this is me being as normal as I can. I love how weird this is and we're only 15 seconds in. We got that real nervous energy. Yeah, people are chicks, chicks dig the nervous energy. Hell yeah. Big nervous dick energy. Uh, calling in all the way from Hawaii and boy are her arms tired.

It's Lucy. I don't know if that joke works but good-day. Well, why am I arms tired from calling? Moving on. Finally, hey we have a guest. We have a guest all the way from across the pond, please don't ask me which pond like last time. Turned into one pond. Imprompt you geography lesson that I was not comfortable with attime. It's more than one bond. Impromptu geography lesson that I was not comfortable with at all, thanks to the Australian public school system. We are joined by Milo Edwards from Trash Future.

Hi, yeah, it's me. Hello. Good morning everyone. I always, I feel, I feel very formal just by virtue of my own voice on an Australian podcast. I kind of... Hello. Such a soothing kind of self versus our horrible racist voices. Facchand Gidea. Well, it's not even that. I actually really like the Australian accent and so, and I instinctively talk like whoever

I'm talking to, so by the end of this I could be doing like a really embarrassing kind generic Australian accent. We'll see where th of th of th of th of the th of the the thuuuuuloulouloul- I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. I kind of th. th. th. th. th. thi thi. I kind of thi. I kind of thi. thi. thi. I kind thi. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. th. thi thi. Hello. Hello. thi. Hello. thi. thi. Hello. I thi. I th. I th. I th. I th. Hello. I th. I th. th. th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I'm, thi. thi. thi. I'm too. I'm too. too. thi. thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I thi. I'm talking to so by the end of this I could be doing like a really embarrassing kind of generic Australian accent we'll see where it takes slowly slowly easing into it like a hot bath oh it happens like I've got a good friend he's an Ozzy comedian Aiden Jones who's like a Melbourne guy and he has such a strong Australian accent to the point of like parody that by the by the end of talking to him I do to have to have have have to have to have to have th th the to have the to have the to have the to have the the the to have the the to have the the to have the the the the the to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to to the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to. to to the. the. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. t. the. the. tot. tote. te. tot. t. t. t. t. t. t. I talking to him I do have this weird like whatever the Australian equivalent of mid-Atlantic is slightly I'm elongating my vowels by the end of a conversation with him I've um I've realized relatively recently that like I really really do that mirroring thing of the like body language wise oh yeah oh yeah I'm just very conscious of it now any any mirroring thing, like body language wise. Ooh, yeah.

And I'm just very conscious of it now. Anytime that I'm in like a meeting with anybody at work, I'm just like, oh, however you're sitting, I happen to be sitting exactly like that. See a guy checking off on the train. Just like, look, I want to make him more comfortable. I want to put him at ease. That's how the new the new the new the new the new the new the new the new the new the new the new the new the new the new the new the new him at ease. That's how the Nuremberg rally has happened. It was just one guy pointing out going, what's that up there? And then suddenly.

Well, they've got to support my mate, so he's gone. He's going to be there. I maddened him. So, um, we have asked Milo to join us to cover a topic that we have never never before due to our limited amount of brain space and function which is which is Brexit. Now Lucy and I were briefly talking about this before the show and I was saying I feel like Brexit is a thing that was sort of happening in a similar time frame to like Donald Trump being about to be elected or around that sort of time. And I don't know if my brain just said, look, I've only got room to deal with one of these things.

And it's the one that's more likely to involve nuclear fallout probably. So apparently my brain just said look I'm going to take in the bare amount of Donald Trump stuff because that immediately became overwhelming as well and it just kind of parked the whole Brexit thing. We've all just shot down at this point pretty much. No room. I got nothing in or out. I have no room for Brexit and I'm living in the middle of it. It's... it's actually worse than Trump because like Trump is at least entertaining. Like it's this kind of hilarious like post-Madmax type how everything is on fire.

Whereas Brexit is more just like this incredibly British, like the ship is slowly sinking and everyone's like trying to play the violin. Just a whole nation of the captain from Titanic. Standing bravely on the boat. We might not even be the captain from Titanic. We might be the captain from Golden Eye who's getting suffocated by a woman's thighs. That seems more appropriate. Look, so we barely know anything about it. As far as I know, Brexit is a portmanteau referring to putting breast milk on your wheat bicks.

Exactly, yes. That's about, it's about where I'm pleased to see you're so well informed. I did a little research, did a little research for the show. I started Googling what I thought it might be about. Got into a hole. Hold it. We don't need to get into it. to to to to to to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be the to be to be the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thx. Brexit. Brexit. Brexit. Brexit. Brexit. Brexit. Brexit. Brexit. Brexit. Brexit. Brexit. Brexit. Brexit. Brexit. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to be to be to be to be to be th. to be thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thexxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxi. thi. th research before the show. I started googling what I thought it might be about. Got into a whole, hold it, we don't need to get into. Well to be honest, at some point, breast milk might be the only milk you have access to if Brexit goes the way it's currently going. Yes. So, so take us through, if you will. I mean obviously the origins of Brexit. So who kicked all this off? Well, well, so I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th I th th I th. I tho I th. I th. I th. I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho- I tho- I tho tho to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. We th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to to to to th. to to to the the, the, the, the the thooooooooooo. We the, to to to to to to to to to to to to to tho tho tho. We mean obviously the the origins of Brexit. So who kicked all this off? Oh well so I thought I thought what I would do is I would as a way as a way into understanding the psychology behind Brexit. I would start with an

Australian news story that I really enjoyed this week so I'd like to join the Australian nation in mourning the loss of the the correct formulation of the Bunning snag. Because apparently you can't have the loss of the correct formulation of the Bunning snag. Because apparently you can't have the onions on top anymore, you have to have them underneath because it's safer. Disgusting. And it's rightfully tearing your nation apart. And that's what Brexit is about, right? So the EU wants you to have the onions underneath the sausage.

And it's a whole nation of dad saying, no, we want the onions on to to the the onions on top the the the the the sausage and it's a whole nation of dad saying no we want the onions on top of the sausage and God damn the consequences. I demand by sausage with national character they say if they slip and brain themselves on the pavement. And people are saying things like yeah but if you have the onions on top of the sausage you know like it could cause huge economic and political problems and they're saying yeah but I like it that way and even though it just tastes the same you know tasks the same yeah so yeah basically who is responsible for Brexit to answer your question so if you cast your minds back to 20 2015 we had an

election one of them elections and David, keen to distract from the fact that he had sex with a pig, decided to put in a big ticket item. I know, I do it, yeah. We've all been there, we've all been there at the pig stage in our lives. Yeah, he decides that he, you know, he's gonna, he's gonna distract from that and he's gonna throw a bone, metaphor speaking to the the right wing of his own party and also to UKIP who are like the British equivalent of I'm sure many Australian parties and they just say one nation they're absolutely that one yeah they like they like saying the racist things and yeah so he's like we're gonna have a referendum on whether or not we're gonna leaveto leave the EU.

But David Cameron is like, in his own head, obviously, no one's leaving the EU, the British people won't vote Brexit. And at no point did he have his like Greek tragedy, hubris moment being visited by three different gods or whatever. And so then the eventual referendum happens. And like a bizarre host of people came to to to to to the to the the the their their their their their their their their to their to theirn. theirn. to the. the. to the. to the. to to th. to, to, the, tham, the. And, tooome. And, tham. And, tham. And, tham. And, tham. And, tham. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, toe, toe. And, toe.a, toea, toea, toea, toea, toea, toea, toea, toea, toe.a, a bizarre host of people came out to campaign for the leave the EU side, including bizarrely the guy who owns the Weather Spoons chain of pubs, which is like the cheapest place you can get drunk in the UK, there's like one in every town. And that guy was like, hell, when Brexit goes through, everyone's going to be an alcoholic. So this is going to be great.

And James Dyson, the vacuum cleaner guy, he was my favorite. I knew there was a reason for me not to like Dyson, vacuum cleaners apart from the fact that I can't afford them and anyone who can is just some bourgeois. They really suck. Yeah, so he came out and said, yeah, Brexit's it's the the the the the the the the th is th is th is the thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's their thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the vacuum's, the vacuum, the vacuum, the vacuum, the vacuum, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. the. the. the the thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. the. the. th suck. She was thinking for the guillotine. Yeah, so he came out and said, yeah, Brexit's going to be great because it will be like a return to British manufacturing. And then as soon as it went through, he moved like all of his factories to Singapore. Ah.

It does very much have like the Donald Trump air in that sense, doesn't it? of just saying like, ah, do you wish that everything everything everything everything everything everything everything everything everything everything everything everything everything everything everything everything would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would in that sense doesn't it of just saying like ah do you wish that everything would just be magically transported back to a time when we were on top of the world also like and with with absolutely no way of drawing a line from one thing to the other but just going hey it'll just it'll just happen it'll just happen don't you wish you had a job like manufacturing t-shirts in Britain? That's a dream.

We all. That's basically what Brexit is. It's like people not wanting a sort of independent Britain, but they just want what Britain was in like 1905. And no one has told them that that's not possible. Because like what they don't realize, when they think of independent, they think of like, but like fucking rule Britannia with like a navy that's going around the world like stealing people's spices. And what they don't realize was that independence

in this context means more like becoming a sort of just like more acceptable North Korea. Like it's not like, you're not going to be this new economic powerhouse, you're just going to be like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, like, a, a, like, like, a, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like it's not like, you're not going to be this new economic powerhouse, you're just going to be like, shit and no one likes you. That's like the basic vibe. So yeah, they're trying to go back to this weird like fantasy of sort of the Britain, the Britain of old. And this all came about because of like years of just people in British politics that really hate the EU for some reason. Particularly on the basis that it's like they're making all of our laws. This is like a huge thing. Like the are the EU's making all of our laws which is like true to an extent but also a lot of the laws that the EU makes are just very normal. Like oh you know you probably shouldn't make people climb a hundred foot high rickety ladder at work without some kind of safety precaution and people are like it's our freedom it's our right to climb

those ladders. We've been dying on these ladders for centuries and I'm gonna start now. Tradition. I made people Morris dance on very slippery floors. My granddad died on a ladder. My god I'll die on a ladder. My ancestors fell off ladders on the side of a castle wall and I'm not going to give up that right. Yeah, so I mean the EU's has been a massive blow to the siege weapons industry as they made almost all of them illegal. There's no no trebuchets here. And yeah, and then the other thing of course is immigration, because basically if you're from any country of the EU and you have therefore an EU passport,

you can come and live and work in Britain. And this is something that has negatively affected zero people's lives. But a bunch of people are convinced that it's like the end of days and that we're being overrun by the sort of Mongol hordes and that's, you know, that's how Britain's going to end. And the weird thing is that actually all of the people, as far as I can tell, that voted for Brexit on immigration grounds, the people, the immigrants that they don't like, the immigrants that they don't like, theyr even on their own terms it doesn't work because like the immigrants that everyone like loves to hate in the UK are the Pakistani immigrants and slash the Bengali immigrants I like Muslim immigrants because that's the one that really gets people's that's the one that gets your dad's

blood boiling. Those typical Europeans. I know yeah from that famous part of Europe the Bay of Bengal and yeah what they don't realize is, A, those people are not from the EU, B, almost all of those people have British citizenship or indefinite leave to remain. You literally can't kick them out. So even on your own, like, weird ethno-state terms, it just doesn't work. But you know, if only racist would do the math, it would be great. But yeah, I think so basically just like people in the UK were like very disaffected by like all kinds of all kinds of shit. And then a bunch of people came along and were like, hey, what if we do this thing?

And then everything will be great. Oh, I should probably talk about the bus. So there was a bus. Oh, I remember NHS bus. Yeah. Yeah, the bus. It was a massive red bus and they wrote, if we leave the EU, we'll have 350 million pounds a week to spend on the NHS. Now, people weren't suspicious of this, even though this bus was being stood next to you by people who had campaigned on the basis of putting less money into the NHS for years. No one was like, why would these people? and yeah, and of course, three the the the th th th th th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. th. th putting less money into the NHS for years. No one was like, why would these people? And yeah, and of course 350 million a week is the sum of money that Britain pays every week to the EU. Like, but what they don't realize is that

obviously money can be exchanged for goods and services. Like, we do get things for that money. It's not like, so basically, we make money out of the EU. We don't these these these these these these these these these these these these these these these these these these these these these these these these these these these these these these these these these these these these these these these these these these these these these these these these these these these these these these these people these people these these these these these these these these these these these these these these these these these these these these these these these these these these these these these these these these these these these these these these these th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. Why the. We can the. We can't the. We can't the. We can't the. We can't the. We can't the. We can't the. We can't the. the. the. the. the for that money. It's not like... So basically we make money out of the EU, we don't lose money on the EU, but these people like, but we spend money on it and it's like yeah, it's like spending money, it's like trying to save money on train tickets to work. And it's like, well, you will save money on the train tickets but you'll lose money on like all of the money you won't.. you didn't go to work. But that's that's the strategy we're currently working on in the UK that's sort of like the the general the general objective. But now we're like we're coming close to a deal. God only knows what that what that deal

exactly is going to be. It doesn't sound like it's going great the negotiations. No because well it's like that's that's that's that's that that that's that that's that that that they's they's like they's like they's like they's like they's like they's like they's like they's like they've they've they've they've they've they've they've the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. they. their their. their. We're their. their. We're their. their their their their their their their going great, the negotiations. No, because it's almost like they've got all of the leverage and you guys have jack shit, but you're pretending like that's not the case, even though everyone can clearly see that you're actually like holding your cards the wrong way around. So that everyone can see your cards and you can just see the back of the cards? Well, like reading a book upside down. it's gone to that point. Well, so just stroking your chin very thoughtfully. Yes. I think saying that we have no leverage is perhaps even giving Theresa May too much credit because the UK like we do have leverage.

She's just like choosing not to use it and choosing to go about this sort of bizarre strategy that doesn't work. So essentially like our strategy from the outset seems to have been let's set out a number of demands that are completely unreasonable and then just insist that we won't make a deal until those demands are met and then the EU's been saying like well we can't meet those demands that would literally be against the laws of the EU to meet those demands so we it then. th th th th th th th th th. th. so. So. So. So we can can can can can can can can can can can th. So. So. So th. So we can th. So we can just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just th th then. So then. So the the thin then. So thn. So the the the the tho. So the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. So th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, the the the. So, the. So, the. So, the. So, thi. So, the. the. the. So, thee. So, thee. thee. So, the. the. their, their, their, demands. That would literally be against the laws of the EU to meet those demands. So we can't. It's called negging, dude. Yeah, the whole thing is like, if I go for a job interview and I ask for a million dollars a year.

They have to be like, why not 400,000? Yeah, and then I'll be like, oh, I guess I could come down to 400, thn, thn, thn, th..... Yeah, and then I'll be like, oh, I guess I could come down to 400,000, I say. Damn, that's genius. I'm going to try that out. Yeah, I guess that's a nice customs union for a whore. Haven't they been doing the, yeah, were they basically going in with demands like, uh, well, we want, we want, we want to have, we want everybody else from the EU to not be able to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to not to not the to not the to not to not to not to not to to to to their to to to to to their, to to be to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their, their, their, their, their, their, the., their, the.e.e.e.e.ea. I thea.ea.ea.ea.ea.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e. I try.e. I toe. I toe. I to to to to to to have unchecked access to be able to move to whatever country in the EU we want, but we want everybody else from the EU to not be able to move to our country. And they're like, no.

Yeah, it's been a bit like that. One of the things has been, so kind of, the biggest issue with the EU in terms of like what happens now is the single market because the single market is where all of the economic shit happens. So the single market is basically like encompasses a customs union of all the countries in the EU. So if you import something to one EU country, you can then take it to any EU without further like customs controls, whatever.

There's like a unified customs tariffs and stuff. And labor moves freely within the EU. So so so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the EU, the EU, th, the EU, unified customs tariffs on stuff and you can trade goods freely within the EU and labour moves freely within the EU. So anyone who lives in one EU country can go and live and work in another EU country. And the UK already has some like weird exceptions from that. Like if so for example if I had a visa, if I was say from, let's say Australia, and I had a visa to go and work in Germany, I could also go and work in France, but I couldn't come and work in the UK. I'd have to be like a German or French citizen to do that. So we already have an exception from kind of some of that stuff. But anyway, so basically what they were saying is we want to stay in the single market, but we don't want to have the freedom of movement thing, like the fact that people can move between countries. But. that. that's. that's. that's. But that's. But that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the. the. that's that's that's that's that that that the. that the. that th. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. th. th. th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. th. th. the. the. the. the. So the. So the. So we the. the. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. So we single market. So understand the EU was like, no, because that is what the single market is. And then Britain was like, but what if yes? What if you just went away and then said yes?

What if we got the parts that we wanted? I know. Hear me out, but you guys just go along with whatever we like. Yeah, what if we just forget about the foundational principles of it and just do the thing that I just said. Yeah, and so where this gets really, really spicy is the Irish border, is the Irish border, because, so the other week we actually talked about this on Trashutcher, and we decided that to really understand the Irish border issue, you have go back to like 500 AD. So I'm going to try and give you like a potted version, which is basically a few hundred years ago Britain invaded Ireland and we fucked a lot of shit

up there. But one of the result and things of this is that there are like a large group of people who live predominantly in Northern Ireland who are Protestant, as opposed to the rest of Ireland where people are predominantly Catholic. And these people kind of wanted to be part of the UK when Ireland became independent because they were worried that the Catholics would oppress them or whatever. I don't know how founded those concerns were, but whatever. So they became part of the UK. But then there was a massive sectarian insurgency in Northern Ireland from the Catholic people who lived there, known as the IRA, and there were similar parliamentary groups on the other side. And basically there was this

whole thing called the Troubles where people in Northern Ireland were like fucking murdering each other for a long time and also like occasionally blowing things up on the mainland. And then in 1997 there was a thing called the Good Friday Agreement, which basically put an end to it. And one of the things was that there would never be a hard border between Southern and Northern Ireland. So like if you were living in Northern Ireland but you regarded yourself as like Irish rather than British, you could freely go to Southern Ireland just by driving there whenever you want without this being like an issue where you have to cross a border or whatever. And that had always been possible because Britain and Ireland had always had kind of a union of sorts, either because of imperialism or because latterly of a kind of agreement.

And then that was then superseded by the EU. They were both in the customs union, the single market so there was no need to have a border. But now, because Ireland, the country of I'm, the country, the country, the country, the country, the country, the country, the country, the country, the country, the country, the country, the country, to toe, toe, toe, the country, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, the c.e, thi, thi, thi, thi, the, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, their, thi, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, toe, toea, toea.ea.ea.eaui.eaui.ea.ea.ea.ea.ea.ea.ea.e.e.e.e, thi, was no need to have a border. But now, because Ireland, the country of Ireland, is going to stay in the EU and Britain is notionally going to leave the EU, of which Northern Ireland being part of Britain, there will now have to be a hard border between. And basically, if we stayed in the single market, if we did like a Norway type deal, then we could not have a border because we would be signing up to enough rules to allow the customs union and whatever to continue.

But what we're looking at is not doing that. And so essentially the British negotiating position has been like, well, we're going to leave the single market in the customs union, but we're also not going to have a hard border in Ireland. And that there's literally no way of doing that, it's like saying well I'm gonna go to work but I'm also gonna stay at home it just doesn't just doesn't make any sense like it's no like it's literally against international law to do that this is not but it's not legally possible so is the is the single market part where the hard Brexit where the hard Brexit th comes in? Is that what that's referring to?

Oh yeah, rock hard Brexit, a throbbing Brexit. Oh boy. Nobody likes a soft Brexit, come on. No, absolutely not. So yeah, soft Brexit is basically the idea of like, OK, you leave the EU, but you keep most of the kind of day-to-day bureaucratic factors of being in the EU. So you stay in like the trading group and the customs union. And basically if you do what they call soft Brexit, not much changes.

You regain some kind of self-determination over certain issues, but you also still have to sign up to a lot of EU law because you want to stay in these big EU programs, like the single market in the customs union. However, it's it is the the the the the th it is th, it is th, it's, it's, it's, it's, you the th, you the th, you th, you th, you th, you the the th, you th, you stay th th th th th th the the, you stay thi th the, you stay the. So you stay the. So you stay the. So you stay the. So you stay the. So you stay thi. So, thi. So, thi. So, th. So, th. So, you th. So, you th. So, you th. So, you th. So, you th. So, you th. So, you th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. So, thi. So, thi. So, thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. So, thea. So, the the th big EU programs like the single market and the customs union. However, it's also the only like sane version of Brexit because hard Brexit where you just say no fuck this we're not doing this. We are now an isolationist little country. Yeah just basically just just fucks the economy. And maybe you'll sort it out in the long term but but there's going to be like 10 years of just like everything is on their. their. their. th. their. th. th. th. th. th. their. th. to be a th. their. to be like, th. th. th. to be like, th. to be like, th. to be, to be, th. th. th. the to, to, to, to, to, to, their, their, their, th. th. th. th. the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I, the the th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I'll, to, to, te. I's, te. I'll, te. I's, te. I's, te. te. te. te. te. I's, th. And, to, it out in the long term, but there's gonna be like 10 years of just like everything is on fire, Mad Max Fury Road type. Like there's cues of lorries trying to get in and out of the country because of all the customs checks

that we've never had to do before. Yeah, and that is more the vision that the Tories are envisioning at the moment. But they're they're are they're they're they're they're they're they're they're their their they're they're thoves their they're doing thoves they're doing this weird thing where they're like, oh, we kind of, they want things from a soft Brexit, but then they're quibbling over like weird things about the, I don't know, like, because they'll say things like, oh, you know, well, what if, we did, we had the single market, but we like limited the number of Europeans who could come to the UK. And it, the, the, the, the, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. And, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, they're, thin, thin, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. But, thi, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, like, like, like, they, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the UK. And it's like, well, you can't do that. But then also, like, you wouldn't be able to limit it that much anyway. So it's like, they're just like these weird talking points that kind of cause huge problems, but no one really cares about.

I assume that the general sort of position on a soft Brexit is, if that's what you're going to do, then why not just stay in the EU? Yeah, I mean a question we could all ask. Yes. Why are we doing this? I think basically the whole the problem is that we had this referendum, right? We should never have had a referendum. Having a referendum was a very bad idea because then you have to do what they say, right? And no one really ever considered, because our politicians are fucking dumbasses who fuck pigs, no one ever considered the possibility that this was going to happen.

Which is generally like, yeah, if you absolutely don't want a particular answer to a question, maybe. Maybe. If you don't want to know, don't ask. And yeah, so essentially now we're in the situation where, I mean, that referendum was badly run in the sense that it normally, to have like a big constitutional change like this, you'd have like a minimum amount of people would have to vote for it.

So you'd have like a 60% threshold or something, which they didn't do because they were like, oh, it's an advisory referendum, we don't have to abide by the consequences. But again, that's really dumb because obviously no one cares whether it's advisory or not. If you have the referendum and then you say, oh, well, technically it was advisory so we don't have to do it,

like things, people are situation where they, well, they kind of, they have to do Brexit, because otherwise it's like political suicide, right? Like no one can just have a referendum and then be like, eh, well, we don't like that. But equally, they do have this great option to do like, not much of a Brexit, and they can still say we did Brexit. And because the things thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi they thi they can they can they can they can they can they can they can't thi thi they can they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're thu. thu. thu. tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho thoo thoooo thooo thoooooooooooooooooooo., because the thing is I think the people who voted Leave are going to be disappointed anyway. Because no one's getting deported in any scenario. Like, no one, like, nothing good is going to come of either version of Brexit. You either get just a version of Brexit, which is like less bad and a lot of things stay the same,

or you get like the kind of hell world strap-in Brexit. No one knows what the fuck is going on. But still, no one gets what they were promised by the leave campaign. Yeah, which is- The country doesn't magically become the 40s again. It's like, the big bopper is brought back to life. Yeah, so you won't magically get back the job that you had 30 years ago and all that kind of shit. Would that really be that good? Yeah. I feel like every time I see a period drama about England, it's no good, you know?

No, people. Early 1900s England, it's not pleasant. Then explain why everybody's so horny for Colin Firth when he's with Mr. Darcy. You got me there with Mr. Darcy. Everyone's wearing a brown suit and having teaaaaa the thine thine thine thine thine thine thine thi thi the the the the the the the the the the that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. I that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. I I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thioli. they. they. they. I's theya. I's thea. I's thia'er. I that's that's that's that's that's thiol like that's. Darcy. Everyone's wearing a brown suit and having tea and cake with the vicar. That's it. And occasionally hanging, you know, like mentally disabled people who were just at the scene of a crime. Yeah.

Back to the good old days. Yeah. that's actually weird how the death penalty came to end in Britain. Because there were two really controversial cases, one of which was like what I just described, there was like a boy who at the time was described as being like feeble-minded, who was like an accomplice to a crime in which a policeman was murdered. And the other guy was too young, so they hung him started getting people thinking, hmm, maybe this is bad. But one of the cases they often cite is one of Ruth Ellis, who was the last woman to be killed. And she did, she did actually murder the person. Like no one, she pleaded guilty.

Like no one disputed the facts of the case, but people just felt sorry for her. Which is like a weird part of some. Well, she was feel more sorry if someone, but well, she was rather pretty. Not very gentlemanly to hang a lady. Well, it was that feeble-manded poem, it does give me the willies. I mean, you shouldn't hang anyone, but I just always. Yeah, so basically, yeah, the main the main like takeaway from Brexit is everyone's lost their minds. Yeah, so you actually put me on to this but the spice girls are like supporting Teresa May in Brexit campaign. Turns out the spice girls are are massive Tories. Therefore, feminism is bad. Sorry, everybody.

Oh no, women are cancelled. Remember when the Spice Girls invented feminism back in the 90s? They sure did. Madness. I watched the first time. I watched the movie recently. For the first time, the Spice Girls Movie. The Spice World. Are we discussed this before? I don't know, but I, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, women, tho, women, women, women, women, women, women, women, women, women, women, women, women, women, women, women, women, women, women, women, women, women, women, women, women. Oh, women, women, women. Oh, women, th, the women. Oh, the women. Oh, the women. Oh, the the the the the the the the the the the their their their tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho. I tho. Oh, tho. Oh, tho. Oh, thooma, tho. No, thoomoomooma, thooma, tho. Oh, tho. No. No first time, the Spice Girls Movie. The Spice World. The Spice Girls Movie.

I don't know, but I watched it again recently for the first time since I'm pretty sure I saw it like in the cinema in 1998. Right. Because I just used to go to the movies and watch literally every movie that played. I would... Anything feminist that was on. Oh, oh, I know I don't need to justify. But, yeah, I watched it recently and was like, this is some wildly incoherent shit. It was very much akin to like a Beatles Hard Day's Night kind of movie, where they just kind of turn up in a scene and a thing happens and then they go more and just run off to another place and then something else happens and it's all completely unrelated. Pretty sure Richardy Grant was in it though so that was

good but yes. It's like watching the news now. Yeah yeah basically nothing relates to anything else. No. Yeah but yeah the Spice Girls went on some like daytime TV show and somehow Brexit came up and they started saying like, Theresa's doing her best. Just doing a bit, giving it a red-hot go. Yeah, which is not really good enough, is it? It's not really like, if you say you're doing your best, you're probably not doing it very well in my experience. That's not what you want to hear, is it from someone who's like just performed surgery

on you? I did my best. It's my best. Yeah, that's not, that's not going pretty neat. And there's all like the, the, like, so like, the Brexit people kind of, the, their the long time ago, but in the last year all the remain people have also lost their minds. And they're like in kind of weird denial about the actual political reality that we live in. And so they're just like, just stop, just stop Brexit.

Why don't we just cancel Brexit? And it's like, well you can't really do that because it would probably have grave political consequences. But why not? I like going to France. Brexit is cancelled. Exactly. That's the T. It's cancelled. And they're being led by AC Grayling, who's an Oxford philosophy professor, who looks a bit like a kind of like 18th century dandy. And he has a hair cut that's like, it's a bit like what Leibniz's hair cut was like. It's like a similar kind of a like gray shoulder length, but parted in the center sort of like. Yeah, something, a cross between kind of Leibniz and Louis Cattors kind of haircut. It's that's what I'm looking at him now.

He sounds cool. I like him. He very much has an ear of philosophy professor. And he is the head of the FBPE Twitter mob people who are like all the crazy pro-Brexit people, whose bio is all say things like, father of two gin enthusiast, watch the rugby on Sundays, you know, like that kind of thing. And they recently had this, they keep they keep going on like marches for like a second referendum. Which is, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I th, I th, I th. And, I th, I th, I th, I th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, I is, I is, I is, I is, I is, I is, I is, I is, I is, I is, I is, I is, I is, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th. And, I the is the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th. And, th, like that kind of thing. And they recently had this, they keep going on like marches for like a second referendum, which is, you know, I guess that's fine, that's just protest, isn't it? And a second referendum is like, well, we could just lose it again. That might happen.

Did we learn nothing from the previous referendum? But then like what would be, what would be to stop like all the people who want Brexit from then doing their own protest every week and saying, do the referendum again like after that? You know, that would, it's not, it doesn't seem like a recipe for kind of tying a neat bow on it or anything? No, I mean I do think that most of the Brexit people are too old to leave the house, so probably there might be, you know, there might be a problem with that. But yeah, I mean that I think this is like, this is potentially opening a huge can of worms in terms of like, we could of money who want Brexit to happen for like their own nefarious reasons who will be more than prepared to put that money

into making it happen. But yeah they recently had this protest where they all the FPP people like took their dogs to Parliament Square to protest in favor of a second referendum and they called this the Wofferendum. Oh boy. It's not even clever. It's not even a good pun. And these are the people, like, I agree with these people that Brexit is bad. Like these are the people that I'm supposed to be like, yeah, these are my guys and I'm just looking at them like, Jesus wanked. Like there is no...

It should clearly be like rougher, right? Exactly. Clearly. Lucy, very evident. Obviously. Lucy, you need to be a consultant for AC Grayman. I'll give him a call. I just do dog puns, that's my thing. If you want to win this referendum, you need good dog puns. It certainly seems like from all the evidence that basically, like you're saying, that

nobody actually expected to happen. And now that it's happening, the people who are supposed to be arguing to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be arguing to be arguing to be arguing to be arguing to be arguing to be arguing to be arguing to be arguing to be arguing to be arguing to be arguing to be arguing to be arguing the the the the the the the the the the the the the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to be to be to be to be a the th..a.a.a.a. thea.a. thea.c. thea. thea. thean. thean. thean. thean. thea. thea. thea. th happen. And now that it's happening, the people who are supposed to be arguing in favor of it are just completely unprepared. Like I saw, I saw that clip doing the rounds the other day of the guy who's playing some central part in the negotiations giving a speech in which he explained that he had recently discovered that he had recently discovered that apparently most of England's food arrives by boat. Like as though he was surprised that a very small island with millions of people on it is receiving some of its food from other places.

It's crazy. I know, why would that be happening? With the greatest country on earth? Surely we're feeding ourselves purely on a diet of beates, the the the thiets and the the the in the in the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food other places. It's crazy. I know why would that be happening with the greatest country on earth? Surely we're feeding ourselves purely on a diet of beets and parts of lamb. All that homegrown beans. Get that scurvy. Oh man, Scurvy is a British tradition that the EU has been trying to take away from it for years. But their health and safety, eat vitamin C regulations. I want my scars to heave open due to a lack of vitamin C to hold them together. I want to look like a sort of badly drawn zombie from an 80s movie.

That's your right as an English citizen, you know? Exactly. That and going to a hot country and turning bright red within a matter of hours. That's the other key ride. So in your own sort of estimation is they're basically just kind of, it's a foregone conclusion but the only argument is how severe, how hard the crash will be. Yeah, basically I've never really, well, because the Tories have made a whole mess of it because they thought if they went on this hard Brexit route they would be able to like cement their own power within the UK, which is maybe true but like exceptionally short-sighted.

Because it always seemed to me, I mean, as just a dumb-ass guy who's on a podcast, that like the obvious, like there was such an easy option just to say, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th, the, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the, thi, the, the, thi, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, podcast. That like the obvious, like there was such an easy option just to say, okay, we're doing Brexit, but we're doing this stay in the single market kind of Brexit in which nothing really changes, because that was actually what the leave campaign promised. They said like, oh, we will stay in the single market. So you can literally say, we're not breaking any promises to people who vote leave, but we're still doing a version a a a a version a version a version a version then they spent like a year and a half saying like no that's unacceptable. We're gonna do hard Brexit and so now they can't really go back on that because they've been saying it for ages. And so kind of I still think what's

most likely is that we end up with a sort of like Norway-ish situation where we're like it's basically like being in the EU but the I thi the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th is th is the the th is thi. I thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. I thi the thi thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I th. they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they's they's to they's to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. I they. I they. I'm they. I'm they. I'm the the the the the the the thi the the the the the the the the the they they theyn. thea. the the the the EU but we're not in the EU, which is sort of kind of what I was just saying. But I think the reason we're going to end up with that rather than because everyone just comes around to the idea that that's the best idea is rather because it will turn out that like any kind of actual hard Brexit proves to be completely impossible because of stuff the Irish border and just logistics and like no one in there aren't enough people in Britain who actually understand the EU but all the people who really understand like EU law and stuff don't work for the British government and so the British government has just routinely gone in and been like well I think we can sort this out and then the EU lawyers have gone no I don't think

you can do that and they've been like oh we probably should have employed some European lawyers. Probably should have asked a few of these questions before we did that referendum. Exactly. Yeah, they were like, why didn't the British people just read on all of these documents that we didn't bother to read before they voted. So this brings me to another question, which is what, given like Teresa May's just constantly embattled state at this point. When she's not doing a sort of mortal combat character selection screens dance.

Yep. Or one of her great kind of marionette dances. Yep. Oh, what a dance. I hate it. I can't watch it. I hate it so much. I did like that she came out at that conference and was then like, now I'm just going to dance for a while. I've already been mocked roundly for this by the entire world. Nothing. She's trying to own it. She's taken it back.

And I hate it. But it does seem as though she is just enormously unpopular. I mean she managed to almost to almost to almost to almost to almost to almost to almost to almost to almost to almost to almost to almost to almost to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to watch it the the the to watch it. I hate it the the the the the the the the to watch it. I. I to watch it so much to watch to watch to watch. I to watch. I to watch. I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tho. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm just. I'm tie. I'mpopular. I mean she managed to almost immediately lose government after she managed to almost immediately you know lose government and lose the she lost the majority didn't she in that election called that snap election and Jez are almost won. She called an election like a checkmate Jezer and then was like oh no another grave miscalculation by Theresa. So, um, so I guess when... Oh no, I probably shouldn't have called him a communist.

Oh, no, I probably certainly shouldn't have called that election. Oh, it's hot today. Well, um, so like, when, when is the next election? Uh, well, so, like, when, when is the next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next the next next next next next next next next next next the next next the next next next next next next next the next next the next the next next next next next the next the next?? the next next next next next? the next the next next next next the next next?? the next? the next? the next? the next? the next? the next? the next? the next? the next? the next? the next? the next? the next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next the next next next next next next the next next the next next the next the next election? the next election? to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the next election election election election? the next election? the next election? the the next election in the UK, that's not, it's not certain. So we had an election in 2017, so that means that our next election has to happen, like at some point in 2021, but it could happen earlier. Like if you can get, basically the party that's in power can call an election, whenever they want, as long as they can get a majority to approve it in Parliament. And I mean, I'm sure they would, because it would be weird if the opposition the opposition the opposition the opposition the opposition the opposition the opposition the opposition the opposition the opposition the opposition the opposition the opposition the opposition, the opposition the opposition the opposition, the opposition, their their their their their their their their their their thion election in election in election their election election thection thection thection in election in election thion in election thion thi election thi election thi election thi election thion election thion election thion election thion election their election their their election, their their election, their their their their their their election, their their their their their their their their get a majority to approve it in Parliament. And I mean, I'm sure they would, because it would be weird if the opposition voted against having an election. Oh no, you're too popular. Oh, no.

Yeah. I mean, dearly, that's not the sort of thing the Tories would do, like vote against having an election. But yeah, so, I mean, Theresa could call an election at any point, essentially if there's, if Brexit actually, if, the the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, thi, th mean, Theresa could call an election at any point. Essentially, if Brexit actually gets to a point where the leading party has a deal, which it seems to do, and no one will vote for it, that might force an election, because it will get to a point where it's like, well, we're not going to do anything different, and if no one will agree to what we have to do, then basically we have to have an election. So that could that that could that could that could that could that could that could that could that could that could that could that could that could that could that could that could that could that could that could tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho o' tho their their thoe. thoe. their their their. their. their. their. their. their we have to do then basically we have to have an election. So that could happen. What's that party that they're relying on for their to get votes? The DUP?

The DUP. Ah, Britain's own version of the Tea Party. Yes. So the DUP are the Northern Irish, Far Right, Protestant Party, who are like ultra-unionists. And they believe that like abortion is murder and that like women should stay at home and do the cooking and like they're really forward-thinking guys. And so, and basically yeah, Theresa May is like beholden to them. So like, yeah, well, we'll vote for your Brexit plan

But we didn't like this stuff you said about, you know, not supporting The burning witches at the stake So we're going to ask you to row back on that. So so so important to us? Is there a possibility that? Before? Um, 2020, that that they could lose confidence from the DEP? So they could say, oh, is, is, is, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, their their their their their their their their thi their thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, their thi, their thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, their their thi, their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. thi, their their thi, their their thi, their thi, thi, thi, their thi, their thi. thi. thi. the. thi. the. thi. the. the. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi one that that they could lose confidence from the dp and they could say uh... we're not gonna help you out with anything anymore and be forced to call an election before then i mean it's possible i mean i think that say one of the weird issues is that the iris border is basically the only thing that could fuck up their relationship with the DUP because the DUP are just the Tories but more. So like the Tories kind of believe everything the Tories believe.

Yeah, the more is. Mmm, they're just so delicious. Yeah, so I mean, essentially everything they believe is just like a more extreme version of what the Tories believe. But they, what the one thing they really are careful about is the whole Irish border issue because that's something that could could the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thoes kind kind kind thoes kind thi is just kind their is kind thi is just kind thiou is just kind their is just kind their is just, their is just, their is just, their is just, their is just, their is just, their is just, their is just, their is just, their their their is just, their their is just, their is just, their is just, their is just, their is just, their is just, their is just, their is just, their their their thoes.oes. Sooes. Sooes. So, thooooooes. Sooes. So, their thooooosananananan't, thiiiii. So, their, their, the one thing they really are careful about is the whole Irish border issue because that's something that could just like literally fuck their shit up. So if the Tories managed to come up with a version of Brexit that's really unsatisfactory on that issue, that is, I think, essentially the only thing that could really lose them the DUP support. But even if they do lose that support, they could still have a minority government because the Tories have something like 49% of the seats in Parliament, something like that. So they pretty much have enough to

govern as long as they can persuade a few rebel MPs from some other parties to vote for whatever they're voting for. Yeah. So is there any kind of like actual deadline on Brexit or is it more of a thing where like where the Tories are just losing losing credibility and face and popularity by the day while while it's just getting dragged out and they're getting hammered. Well so this is something that if the Tories were getting hammered I think it would be much preferable just getting wasted on the Brexit negotiations but yeah it's one of those things where no one really knows

to what extent there is a deadline because it's never happened before. So basically, the whole, the EU, Article 50, which is if a country decides to leave the EU, was put in there kind of because you have to have a mechanism like that, but not in the expectation that anyone would ever leave the EU because they kind of rightly assumed that leaving the EU be an insane idea. And so yeah, but basically we're doing this, and so the notional deadline is the 29th of March. Ah.

Yeah. But I don't know, I don't think, if there's not a satisfactory deal, we won't want to leave on the 29th of March and the EU won't want us to leave either. So I suspect that could be kind of prolonged indefinitely. I don't think there's any legal necessity if both sides agree for us to leave on the 29th March, but theoretically the EU could be like, okay, bye on the 29th of March. And if we haven't agreed to deal a deal a deal the deal the deal the deal the deal th a deal th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the, the, the, tho, th, th, th, the, tho, tho, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. the, the, the, the, the, the, the is theeean, thean.ean, theanan, theanan, thean, thean, thean. thean. theeeean. thee just fucked. But I don't think they will do that, probably not. But it seems like it's just gonna keep doing damage to the Tories over time, doesn't it? I assume.

Well, I mean, they're quite good at spinning it, in the sense that, the, fuck, I've lost my chance. We're being tough with them. God, yeah, yeah, exactly. They're kind of spinning it. It's like the EU wants us to fail, and they're managing to make it,

and like, this is why we have to leave the EU. See how they're not agreeing to the British public. It's, I mean it has all the hallmarks of Trumpism. Like whatever they don't like, they say it's like an EU conspiracy and whatever they do like is like Theresa's a genius. That's kind of the long and the short of it. And the one, the part of the reason why they have a lot of the reason why they have a lot of the reason why they have have have have have have have have a lot they have have a lot they have have a lot they have a lot, they have have a lot, they have have a lot, they have a lot, they have have a lot, they have have a lot, they have a lot, they have a lot, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the the the the the the the the the the the their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, they, their, they, they, their, their, their, they, their, their, their, their, their, like, the like Corbyn's not great on Brexit. Like, he's good on a lot of things, but it's like one of those things where I think he's like a long-term Eurosceptic and kind of always has been from a kind of like left-wing perspective.

And so he is sort of notionally remain or like notionally kind of soft Brexit, but I think he harbors a fantasy of a kind of like a socialist hard Brexit. And because I mean there are a lot of like problems with the EU that are from a left-wing perspective that you could cite. I mean the EU is definitely like quite a neoliberal institution in a lot of ways. But it's also like less neoliberal than the institutions you would end up having to be in bed with if you leave it, i.e., like the Americans or whoever. Like you're always playing by somebody's rules, the rules the rules the rules, the rules, the rules, the rules, the rules, the rules, the rules, the rules, the Americans or whoever. Like, you're always playing by somebody's rules, so you might as well play by the rules of the people who like are not not murdering people. I don't know. It's like kind of, they seem like the best of the bunch, really, in terms of

the big groups you want to be involved with. So how has that, how has that worked kind of logistically for the Labor Party? I guess with with Corb in th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the th. the their th. th. th. their their their th. th. their the Labour Party. I guess with Corbyn becoming like ascendant at the same time as this huge like Brexit is like dropping like a lead balloon sort of thing. Where I know like you know I think Corbyn was kind of you know I guess seen as like a symbol of hope for the for the left, you know, hey, we can actually have a socialist in a, in like a real position of having power over something and then having to align those beliefs with the fact that Corbyn is so Eurosceptic and has been behind something that is, you know, probably a very bad deal for England. How is that played out for Corbon and for the Labour Party as a sort of, the, the-a-sit, for the the-for to to to to to thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, for tho, for tho, for tho, for the the the the the the the the the the the the their their, for something, for their tho, for something, and their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their, their, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, for something, for tho, for tho, for tho, for thi, for their thi, for their their their the, for their the, for the the, for the, for the, for theat, for the, for the, for the theeat, for the the the the the the the their, for the their, for their deal for England. How has that played out for Corbyn and for the Labour Party as a sort of Brexit unfolded?

So this is a very interesting question. I think that basically the Labour party official line, now I don't know what to what extent this is Corby and to what extent this is like the kind of Labour Shadow Cabinet as a whole. Their strategy on Brexit is kind of the the the thi th th th th th th th th th thi the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tho tho tho the the the that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that that that that that that that that that that tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho the thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the the the the, how the, how the, how the, how the, how the, how the, how the. how the. how the. how the, how th what extent this is Corbyn and to what extent this is like the kind of labor shadow cabinet as a whole, their strategy on Brexit is kind of to not really say anything and let the Tories fuck it up, that's sort of, so they're trying to like not upset anyone by not really advancing a clear position and then in the hope that the Tories will fuck it up, lose the election, and the election, and the election, and the election, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and they they they they they's, and they's, and they's, and they's, and they's, and they're, their, their, their, tho, their, their, tho, thr-s, their, their, their, their, their, is, is, their, is, is, is, is, is, their, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is their, is their, is their, is their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, is, the election and then they can come in and do something different but it's not really specified exactly what it is they're going to do. And so they like Corbyn says things like, oh we're going to have a jobs first Brexit and stuff like that, but I don't really know what that means.

No one really knows what that means. I think people would kind of like you to believe that like Corbine is basically going to be a soft Brexit because he says he also says things like oh we're going to stay in a single market and a customs union which also doesn't make sense because there's only what like there's the single market in the customs union it has certain rules you can either sign up to them or not but if you don't sign up to them you can't be in it. So it's like a weird thing to say like we're going to have our own version of it because you can't the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. Because th. Because th. Because the th. Because th. Because the th. Because you can't the the the th. Because the the th. Because the the th. Because th. Because they they they. Because they. Because they can't they. Because there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's can't to be like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like to to they. Because they. It's they. It's they. It's they. It's they. It's they. It's to to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be they. they. It's they. It's therefore no one's quite sure and like maybe that is a smart strategy maybe like saying as little as possible and letting the Tories just like butt fuck themselves for a while and then just sweep into power and do what you want. Maybe that is a good strategy I don't know. But some other people on the left interpret this is like Corbine is going to go for a hard Brexit and we like it. Those are the really crazy people. Because I think as

far as I like I'm not really like a huge politics guy. I was kind of I was always the comedy one on trash tuture and I've kind of I've had to get more into the politics as time has gone on. Which means I'm sometimes the one going like hmm this seems a bit okay all right then because one time so essentially I think there are some people who, rather than being like into Corbyn's policies, they're into Corbyn, and I think that that's where things get a bit dangerous. So they're kind of like, Corbon seems to be into Brexit, well that means I'm into Brexit too,

rather they feel like they have to like and so this is there's a kind of vogue for like what they call Lexit now which is people believing that like you can turn Britain into a socialist utopia through Brexit which I'm all in favor of turning Britain into a socialist utopia but I don't really think that leaving the EU is going to do that because it's just a massive victory for like all the right-wing forces of darkness in this country and it's going to like fuck the economy and to do socialism you do need money. So there kind of is there an element of that in being like well this will obviously play out so poorly for the conservatives that nobody will ever let them form government for the next 10 years or something so we may as well just like try to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tho. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their. th. theck. the. the. I. I. I. I. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. the. the. I. I'm. the. the. I. the. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. the next 10 years or something so we may as well just like try to be try and do all the shit that we've wanted to get by get to kind of

thing? I mean I think there's definitely like I'm sold on to an extent on the idea that like the politics of letting the yeah letting the Tories fuck it up saying as little as possible so as not to upset anyone, get into power and then do something. Like if that is the strategy, then fine. As long as they really think that'll work. I mean, I don't see white wouldn't work necessarily other than British politics isn't setting. I don't know how long that will last in that like, like, the, like in any country, like, the public are just, like, they will just vote for the Tories again again, as the, as the, as the, as the, as the, they will, money or that like you know they've decided they don't like brown people again like that. Yeah I mean well even if you can fuck up a lot and yeah even like we saw in in the

American midterms where there was obviously a swing towards the Democrats but like not anywhere near as like any kind of sane person would expect to say oh you're being ruled by a bunch of absolute you know madmen and um and there is no way that they're they're the th th th th th the th the th they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they they they they're they're they're they're they can't they can't they can't they can't they can they can they can they can they can they can they can they can they can they can they can they can they can they can they can they can they can they can they can they can they can they can they can they can they're kind they're kind kind they're kind kind kind kind kind kind kind they're kind kind kind kind kind they're kind kind kind they're kind they're kind they're kind they're kind they're kind the the th thin the thin the they're kind kind the the the thy the they the thy the the the the thin the the the thin they a bunch of absolute, you know, madmen, and there's no way that you could ever possibly vote for such a person as Donald Trump and here we are. Again. Yeah, I mean, I'd like to give my absolute respect, by the way to Republicans in Nevada, who, instead of voting for an actual living Democrat still voted for a dead pimp. Oh it's it's incredible but it only sustains you for so long. Yes. It does sound like maybe you know laborer employing a similar strategy to the

labor party here which unfortunately is not as similar to some of your labor party as we would like. I love the Australian Labour Party, please tell me more about this. Has Tony Abbott not said anything again? The Australian Labour Party I think is probably, I mean, they have much stronger links to trade unions, but other than that, I think they're probably a lot more akin to, like the Democrats in the States where they're a bit more, a bit more neoliberal the the they're probably a lot more akin to like the Democrats in the states where where they're a bit more a bit more neoliberal a bit more technocratic still still quite beholden to corporate interests and in the case of in the

case of Australian politics I think what has been the case recently is just a whole lot of like, ah, the other major party is imploding, so we're just going to go super small target in the lead up to this thing. We're not going to advance any kind of ambitious agenda or, you know, really try and really try and lay out an alternative scheme. We're not going to really try and, you know, position ourselves as an alternative government. We're just going to hang out and not say too much or do too much of anything and wait for

them to totally implode and get absolutely railed in an election and then we'll come in and try and do what we want. But I think the problem with that, as was shown by, you know, that this, our our our our our our our our our our our our our our their their their their their their their, their, th. to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to bea, to bea, toe. toe, toe. to bea, toe, to be, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to, to toe, toe, toe, toe, their, their, their, their, try, try and try and try and try and try and try and try and try and toe, toe, toe.a. Tory government that's in now, is that the problem with not actually putting up any kind of an agenda before you get in is that when you start doing things, people go, hold on a minute, what the fuck's this? Like you never actually, you never really canvass this idea before getting in the government and now we never said you're going to make us put the onions underneath the sausage. What the fuck? Now, before we run out of time, we did ask our listeners for questions for you.

And many, many came in, so maybe we should try and blast through a couple of those. I hope that some of them are just personal. No they're just the questions for me. Okay. Let me see, wife of the show, Tau Waterhouse asks, who would win in an underground fight club style match between Jezah and Bernie? Oh clearly Jezah. That's 100% Jezah right? I don't know. I think Bernie is a lot more physically active. He's always playing basketball down at the YMCA. It's true. Jezza, like, so one of my favorite things about Jezer is that like, one of the dumb,

like media attacks on Jezer is always like, yeah, it calls himself a socialist, but what you mean is he just lives in a house house house house house house house house house house house house house house house house house house house house house house house house house,000 pound house. Like what you mean is he just lives in a house in London. Yeah. And there's this amazing video I saw recently where someone's like hounding him outside his house as he's going into his house and they're like, Jeremy Corbyn, you say you're a socialist but you live in the 700,000 pound house. And his house, you can see it in the video, it looks horrible. Like it genuinely looks like a sort of house, a sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort It really looks grim. And he's also wearing like a full track suit and some sort of got, he looks like he's just been playing the fruit machines at Weather Spoons or Morning

and they're trying to make him out to be this like millionaire capitalist. Always wearing his track suits. I love it. Yeah. So I mean, I don't know, like I definitely think that Jeremy is more street than Bernie, but Bernie possibly has the physical edge. Well I was going to say, because Jeremy opened for the Run the Jules concert, right? And I'm like, well, Bernie hasn't, oh, hang on. So they, they both have, they've both done the Run the jewels bit, which is great as far as my personal taste

overlaps go, but probably bizarre to like 95% of the population. Yeah, I mean I guess, but like the people who aren't into it just don't see it. It's that kind of a thing. It's like weird, I don't know. If you appear at the, I don't know, the masons or something, no one who's not in the masons, tas, tas, tas, tas, tas, tas, tas, tas, tas, tas, tas, tas, tas, tas, if you appear at the, like, the, I don't know, the Masons or something. No one who's not in the Masons is ever going to know. Let's see, a friend of the show, Jade asks, can you confirm that the Welsh language is fake and purely an incredibly long-term practical joke being played on the English? I really hope that it is. That would be great, the Welsh, the Welsh people. I thi, I, I, I, I, I, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no one, no one, no one, no one, no one thi, no one, no one, no one, no one, no one, no one, no one, no one, no one, no one, no one th. No th. No th. No th. No, no one, no one, no one, no one, no one, no th. No, no, no, no, no, no th. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, th. No, th. No, th. th. th. thi, thi, no, no, no, no, the, no, the, no, the, no, no, the, no, the, no, no, the, no, no, no, the, no, no, no, no, no, no, I think that I'd really like, that would be great, a huge respect to the Welsh, the Welsh people. I think the Welsh, the Welsh language is one of the less fake languages in the UK because we also have Scots Gallic and Cornish,

which are like definitely fake those are made up. Every road sign in Scotland has like a Scots Gallic translation on it. And I look this up and there are are their their their are are are are their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thoes th. their w. thoes, the. I wel. The Welsh language th. The Welsh language their wel. The Welsh, their their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th, th, th, th. I is is is is th. I th. I th. I th. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thlation on it. And I looked this up and there are literally like six people in all of Scotland who only speak of Scots Gallic, and there are only like a thousand people who know it at all. And Scotland is a nation of like six million people. So. Yeah, I'm all the people who, all the people in Scotland who do know it are like German linguistic students living there, you know. Yes, I'm very patriotic squadsman. Pretty easy, throwed signs. Trying to keep this dying language alive.

I don't know what the Scots galic for the have the is of making you talk it. Uh, friend of the show, average gamer asks, are can each host give their best, oy governor impression to make the guest feel like they are talking to a bunch of regular English folk? I just want to say I was listening to an episode of Trash Future and I heard Riley who is Canadian in origin, is that correct? Yeah, yeah, he's a Canadian man. He correct? Yeah, yeah, he's a Canadian man. He's a person, sorry, he's a Canadian person. He's a Canadian person.

And he said the, he said the title of the TV show, Al-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-L-E, except he said like, Al-A-A-L-A-L-A-L-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-S, the-S, the-S, the-S, the-S, the-S, the-S, the-S, the-S, the-S, the-S, the-S, the-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-S, the-S, the-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A, it's very funny. I've never heard a more awkward pronunciation of... Hello, hello. What's all this then? That's pretty good. I just, I love to look... Like nasal policeman. Look at some knocks in Nuts magazine. Governor, Governor, two pence to sweep out your chimney shoot. Beautiful thing. That sounded like something you'd say on grinder. That had a very cockney grinder. Oh, Lucy, do you do a British?

I can only like doing like a filthy British man like, oh hello, love your fancy and a snog, do you? I like you lead in with the shagggy wiki. Yeah. Show us your fanny then love. That's how that is how people talk. That's actually how you're supposed to address the queen. Let's have a shag and if that goes well we can move on to snogging. Yeah, you first, the first time you have to call her Her Majesty, and then every time after that you just say, show us your finding then love. Yeah. That's right, this is what I know about England. That's true. You're on the right track. Didn't know you guys were such experts. Yeah, here's a question from a friend of the show who is apparently a train nerd. There's plenty of those around.

It doesn't narrow it down. That's all our fans. No, a nerd who's in the train. Unlike, unlike Lucy who has currently been in Hawaii fucking some planes apparently. I'm into planes, okay, that's not weird. Oh yeah, it's not nerdy at all, don't worry. The friend of the show, Sam, asks, how come there hasn't been a full-on revolt about the train system in the UK?

It is insane not only that the fares fluctuate depending on when you buy the ticket, but it is a ridiculous amount of money, 25 quid for an hour and a half journey from Cambridge to Central London. It's fucked up. What's the the thuuu fso bad, thu fso Oh, it's mental. The UK train system. So this is probably going to be another boring answer. Like basically, I think in as far as the 80s, we used to have nationalized rail, but it was really bad. Like it was so bad that when people privatized it, they were like, oh, thank God. And then the privatized rail was like slightly more efficient, but then became like wildly more expensive. And then has over time become even more expensive and even less efficient to the point where it now works like as badly as the nationalized rail did, but just for like eye watering

sums of money. And no one has ever considered the fact that maybe we could have a nationalized rail system that just isn't shit. But now this is like weirdly pops out. So one of Corby's policies is nationalizing the rail, the rail, the rail, the rail, the rail, the rail, the rail, the rail, the rail, the rail, and, the rail, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is. And, is, is, is, is. And, is, is. And, is, is. And, is, is. And, is, is, is, is. And, is, is. And, is, is. And, is. And, is. And, is. And, is, th. And, th.. And, like, like, like, th......... And, like, like, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, thn's policies is nationalizing the railways but that's genuinely saying that most Tories would vote for well at most Tory voters I don't know about Tory MPs but like if you spoke to like the average Tory voter and were like what do you think about nationalizing the railways they probably be like yeah do it honestly the thought of a railway being re-nationalized is like it gives me chills that. That is like my perfect intersection of the things that I find arousing.

Mmm. Got a massive hard-on for trains. End nationalisation, so... I know, it's great. But the fact that something would slip out of, like, you would go and privatize it, and then the government would buy it back because it was so bad when it was privatized. Well, Australia... Well, Australia... We've actually already had to do that to one rail line in the UK because it was like they were running it so badly that the government were like, okay, give it back.

It's not. You can't have this anymore. Australia is one nationalized line. We currently have the most farcical version of this that it's possible to have, which is that a lot of our, a lot of our electricity generation power plants were like initially built through national funding, and so there were like nationalized power companies, and the same for our, we also had a nationalized telephone company and that sort of thing. So obviously over time, as with all countries, all the conservative governments over time have sold these things off and privatized them.

And occasionally the labour government in Queensland. Yep. So, like, the energy generation in this country is a whole other stupid matter. But basically, the conservative governments here have been trying so hard for so long to insist that like renewable energy is an affront to God and that we should all be burning coal for hundreds of years more. Like, we literally have had, like, prime ministers in the last year or two, last couple of years saying like, ah, and coal, coal will be an important part of our energy mix for decades to come,

for hundreds of years, which is all great stuff. But basically, we are at a point now where like private energy companies are saying, look, we are all completely desperate to just get on with this in some fashion. We are going to start closing down these coal-fired power plants and moving on to other forms of energy because that's just the way the world's going. And now we have conservative governments saying, well, in that case, we will buy these coal-fired power plants off you. We will buy this one that you were going to shut down anyway because your shareholders told

you to shut down, you know, the actual free market at work, so that we can burn more coal because we just, we just fucking, we love the stuff, we've got to tell you. It's great stuff. We are so god damn into ideology that we are willing to re-nationalize a coal-fired power plant just to keep burning coal to own the lips. That's brilliant. Yeah, it's it's why Australia is my favorite country on it's because, it's because, it's because, it's, it's, it's, th, that, that, that that that we that we that we that we that we that we that we that we can't, that we can't, like, like, that we can't, like, that we can't that we can't that we can't that we can't that we can't that we can't that we can't that we can that we can that we can that we can that we can that we can that we can that we can that we can that we can that we can that we can that we can that we can that we that we that we that we that we that we can that we that we can that we can that we can that we can that we can that we can that we can th coal to own the lips. That's brilliant. Yeah, it's- This is why Australia is my favorite country on earth because like your government has true vision. Like there's no-

It's galty brain vision. Exactly, like as dumb as it is. They have like real convictions about insane shit and they stick to it through thick and thin. And it's like something that you really have to respect, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, a a a a to the to to to to to to to the to to to to the the to to the to to the the to be a their, to be a to be a toa, it through thick and thin and it's like something that you really have to respect like the idea of like renationalizing a coal power station so you can burn coal and accelerate climate change so this is like upset people who don't like you is amazing. It's like every that's a government. People was booing and clapping and clapping.

Twirling a twirling the comical moustaches. We actually have another question here. I got a whole letter, folks. I got a whole letter which I promised myself that I would remember to read, unless I can't find it as is usually the case with these letters. Hey, hey folks, got an email from a friend of the show, Pat Malone, who says, Hello, I am a Canadian listener of the show, and I have a question about Australian culture. Ooh.

A question of boot Australian culture. My name is Patrick Malone, Pat for short, and I've recently learned that the phrase Pat Malone is actually Australian slang. Here is what I found. Pat Malone is rhyming slang for on your own. So if you are drinking with Pat Malone or drinking on your Pat Malone, you are alone usually regarded as a socially unacceptable practice. The term does not apply exclusively to drinking, you can go on holidays on your Pat Malone.

I am wondering if any of the hosts use this phrase at all or if they are aware of its origins. Any information would be greatly appreciated as I grapple with this new information. Oh God, I feel like so many of these are just like from fucking the ancient Australian time. Hold on, hold on. Incidentally, I have never re-nationalized. Hold on. Incidentally, I have never had a girlfriend. All the best, Pat Malone. Thanks, Pat. Thanks for your letter.

Yes, I feel like, I feel like... Thanks for staying pure, Pat. I really appreciate it. Thanks for conserving your essence. And, yeah, well, I feel like, you know, rhyming slang, rhyming slang at least, is something that a British guest can help with. Ooh, yeah. I mean, it's not rhyming slang. My grandmother still talks in rhyming slang, genuinely.

To the extent, so my girlfriend's American, and she like cannot understand what my grandmother is saying, and it's a source of endless amusement to me. That's wonderful. It's good. I'd like to like, I that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's something that's something that's something that's that's that a that a that a that a that a that a that a that a that a that a that a that a that's that's that's that a that's that a that a that a that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's something that's that's that's something that's something that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the the the the the that I I'd like, I'd like, I'd like, I'd like, I'd like, I'd like, I'd like, I'd like, I'd like, I'd like, I'd like, I'd like,that's wonderful. It's good. I'd like to the idea that like, uh, I was sorry to hear that Pat Malone had never had a girlfriend, but it just made me think of saying like, oh, I met my boyfriend on holiday. You can't, you can't meet him. His name is Pat Malone. He goes to a different school in Canada. In Canada. Yeah. I do, however, have no ideas to the origins of this. Who knows? Who ever knows this stuff?

Well, a lot of them are bizarre with rhyming slang. So like, it probably was the case that if this is genuine, that Pat Malone was like some famous person in Australia. And just because it rhymed with alone they made that because there was like a so the the cockney rhyming slang for curry is Ruby Murray because ruby Murray was like some famous actress or something and she has no relation to curry whatsoever she just sounds like curry yeah oh well here here we go folks on one's Pat Malone Australian rhyming slang referring to a ballad about an Irishman called Pat Malone

who suffered numerous misfortunes after emigrating to Australia. Wow, sucks to be Pat Malone. When his coal-via power plant was shut down by the shareholders. So that's the deal, Pat, that is why you are all alone or on your Pat Malone. I, I feel like pretty much no one does any rhyming slang in Australia anymore. No, not anymore. I might say dead horse. Yeah, that's not a rhyming slang though. Yes it is. What's red horse? Source? Oh, you are. Maybe you've lost it maybe. Maybe not a few city folk.

You know? Bloody bougy, bougy bloke's over here. You live in an apartment in Melbourne. Wait, so dead horse's source in the sense of like a dipping sauce or like alcohol? Yes, dipping sauce. Okay, so if someone in Australia said to me, oh, I'm just going to dip these fries in some dead horse I would just take them at their words I would be like oh okay I didn't know that was a thing. All right guess that's just the culture here. Better than live horse I guess. Which part of a live horse would you

diap it in? I'm assuming dead horse would at least be you pays your money you takes your choice there. All right well we do we do have more questions but we might. Oh goodness. We'll have to wrap it up. All right well sorry we also had a question in the mail bag separate from the letter from Pat Malone. Okay so he's getting greedy all the way from Canada. He's serious about this. But this is also another pretty specific question. Pat asks, I would like to know which football league team is the least racist. Ooh, that's, I mean they all have such rich and storied histories of racism. It's difficult to say. I gotta say, like bearing in mind that we

live in Australia, which has its own very elaborate story to history of sports racism, I feel like whenever I see a, whenever I see a story about like a Premier League type incident of racism, it's always like, wow! It's always some serious shit. Like, like the stuff from Australia is usually like a slur was used and the stuff from like... A game of slurs. Yeah, and the Premier League type stuff is, um, hey was that a callback to when we were on your show? Yeah, it is. A game of slurs. um, hey was that a, was that a call back to when we were on your show?

Yeah, it is. A game of slurs. Like I just hang around having a game of slurs. You mind a few guys around. Sit around the woodpile. Yeah, the, um, the Australian ones are like there was a black player on the field and all these people pelted him with a banana. So he collapsed the stadium. Yeah. Right so that that is the classic one the throwing bananas for

people thing which is both like really bad but also somehow like incredibly like quaintly 1950s and a sort of bizarre like wow I thought even racist had moved past that. Like it's kind of very, well, and the the, the, th, th, th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and the, and th, and th. And the, th. And th. And th. And th. So, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so I, so I, so I thi, thi, so I thi, so, so, so thi people people people people people people people people people people people people people, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, so I th. So, so I th. So, so I th. So I'm, so I'm, so I'm, th. So, so I'm, so I'm, th. So, th. So, so I'm, th. So, so I'm, so I'm, th. So, so I'm of bizarre like, wow, I thought even racist had moved past that. Like, it's kind of very, well, and then so I recently found out about the, I didn't even know about this. There's always, there always used to be a lot of violence in British football, aside from the racism, there was a lot of like football fans would just fight each other. Hooligans. Hooligans. Hooligans. Who the, hooligans. Who, hooligans. Who, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, and, and, and, and, and, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and, and, and, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and then, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, the, the, the, the, the, the, and, the, and, and, th... And, and, and, and, and, and, the, and, and, the, the, the, the, the. Which is, that is actually to do with the Irish. That's a genuine Irish origin slang term because there was a family whose surname was Hooligan

who apparently caused no end of trouble for British soldiers. And so then they made that a term for, yeah. True. And that, even the Russians say Hooligan, they have that word in Russian. So that fame of that family is spread the fame, their, their, thia, me to like a Tottenham game when I was a kid and you would have like mounted police there like keeping people apart on stuff. And then that kind of all died away. But now there's like the weird phenomenon of like the racist soccer group. Because I'm fact soccer fans were always racist but I don't think they were organized, like, racist in an organized way. Like, I mean, like, I'm sure someone can correct me on this.

It was more just spontaneous racism than premeditated. Jazz, jazz racism, improvised. And so I recently discovered... Jazz racism is more about the slurs that you don't say. The spaces between the thud of the bananas on turf. And yeah, so I recently found out by this thing called the Democratic Football Ladz Alliance. Which both doesn't sound like a racist soccer group and also sounds exactly like a racist soccer group in the kind of bizarre way that world now works. Yeah, who do like, they're like Tommy Robinson supporters.

Oh yeah, we just had a political party in Australia get infiltrated by a whole bunch of alt-rights. Get like, have their local branches stacked with old right members by a group called the Lad Society. So we're right on board with you with the, what a racist group sounds like? We live in a land society. But what I did, what I did, the world. the world. I, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, th, th, th, th, the, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, the, the, the, the, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, board with you with the what a racist group sounds like. We live in a land society. A guy household. But what I did, what I always thought was that British football racist, as racist as they might be, they were always racist about players on the team they didn't like. So like you wouldn't throw bananas and players on your own team.

That's not very sporting, right. You'd throw them at the, you know, you know, you know, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the, their, their, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo's not very sporting, right? You throw them at the, you know, the players of color on the other side, right? But then I lived in Russia for a while and I discovered that the fans of Zenit St. Petersburg was so racist that they would throw bananas at like non-white players on their own team. Even like, they had that Brazilian player Hulk for a while. And he was like, their, th. The, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thr-a, thr-like, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, th.. And, I, th. And, th. And, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thin, thi, thi, thin, thi, thi. thi. And, thi. And, tho. And, tho. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, the, the, that Brazilian player Hulk for a while and he was like their best player and they used to throw banana, like he was the reason they were winning the league but the Russian football racists are so principled in their Brendan O'Neill-like consistency that they will even throw bananas at people on their own team and in a way you've kind of got to respect it. It's the re-nationalizing a coal coal coal coal coal coal coal coal coal coal coal coal coal coal coal coal coal coal coal coal coal coal coal coal coal coal coal coal coal coal coal coal coal coal coal coal coal sure. I mean probably one of the northern ones, like it was always the southern ones I think were a bit more, I would say probably like Liverpool or somewhere is probably like fairly not racist. One of the cosmopolitan teams. Yeah, I think just because yeah, I don't know.

Maybe I'm not sure. Definitely not, definitely not the Scottish teams you get into danger. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tholea., the the the the the the the tholea. I'm not tholea. I'm not thoes. I'm not. I'm not thoescolics. I'm not the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tholeolea. I's tholea. I's thoeslipea. I's thoeslipea. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not.coa.coeslucoescoeslucoeslucoeslucoeslipoesl. Ia. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not maybe I'm not sure definitely not definitely not the Scottish teams you get into danger there they're like the scott the Scottish football sides like hey a race it against each other like Celtic and Rangers like Celtic is Catholic and Rangers is Protestant and for that reason they must knife each other ah football violence the purest of pursuits I know it's the whole time it's up there with trouser ferreting. Well on that note, I think we might have to wrap it up. So, it's been a pleasure. Thank you very much. Thank you very much for being with us. You can of course find Milo on Twitter at Milo underscore Edwards I believe.

You can, yeah, thank you very very much I'm impressed you learned my Twitter handle for the purposes of this. All the important I can't find out what Brexit is but I can't find in Twitter a Twitter handle. You can also of course hear Milo on the Trash Future Podcast which you can find on iTunes and all the other Jazz and I believe they're on Twitter at Trash Future Pod. We are yeah look at you, like a library of Twitter handles. So check those guys out, you might also even hear an episode with me and Lucy on it. Oh yeah, that was actually a very good episode, I would recommend that one. If you're looking for... If you want to ease yourself into Trash Future with it with

some comforting Australian input, then that's a good one to go with. Yep. We have a battle of most ridiculous conservative talking heads. I actually re-listened that episode a while ago and I just, it just reminded me of what a joy Australia is on a daily basis. Well I think we were talking about some people from the Sky News show outsiders and since then one of them has been fired for doing a rant that was too racist. It was... What did they say? It went right over the line from like winking racism to poking somebody in the eye with racism.

He was racist about someone on his own team. It was not sporting. It was one of, it was a host Ross Cameron doing a racist rant about Disneyland. What? As you can imagine. He was, I'll give you the quote just before we go. Um, Ross Cameron said on the show, quote, if you go to the Disneyland in Shanghai

on any typical morning of the week, you'll see 20,000 black-haired, yellow-skinned Chinese, desperate to get into Disneyland, he said, In what was a spirited defense of China. Oh, fuck. Oh, I might have to move to Australia. It's so good.

It's like... With friends like these, you know? He'd said a number of slurs in that sentence, and every time he was like, I'm not sure I've said enough slurs, I'll just throw another one in. That was, he was, he was doing I'm not sure I've said enough slurs I'll just throw another one that was um he was he was doing a defense of China in and so that sense was supposed to illustrate how much Chinese people love Western Western culture. I don't know why all the slurs needed to be in it. But... I don't understand what you mean. Some of my best friends are slanty-eyed yellow skins.

Yeah, I don't know, I don't know, and then of course all of his colleagues went on their own, very emotional defenses of him as the least racist person that they know, who absolutely loves China. So, it says a lot about their friendship groups doesn't it really? It does. So until next time please do check out trash feature and we'll see you guys next week. Oh also we have a Patreon. Everybody knows we have a Patreon. Now you know two five bucks a month get yourself an episode episode every week Patreon. to do that please go and do that please this message treat yourself. Treat yourself. Treat yourself. Glad I remember that. Anyway, thanks everybody and we'll see you next time.

Bye-bye. Cheers. Cheers, guys. Bye. the