Boonta Vista - LIVE EPISODE: To Serve Egg

Episode Date: March 3, 2022

It's a live episode! We're raising money for three different causes relating to the (early) 2022 Queensland / NSW floods, you can donate / read the details here: boontavista.com/donate *** In this episode: So much lead pipe, an ominous dog birth, a Subway grudge, a mystery arm loss, and a mystery substance. *** Support our show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista *** Email the show at [e-mail]! Call in and leave us a question or a message on 1800-317-515 to be answered on the show! *** Twitter: twitter.com/boontavista Website: boontavista.com Merchandise: shop.boontavista.com/ Twitch: twitch.tv/boontavista

Hey, it's me, Ben from the podcast, Bontavista. This is a very special episode of the podcast, as you might note from its two-hour run-time, but this was a live episode we did as a charity fundraiser in light of the floods that have been affecting Queensland, New South Wales, and probably, probably and probably I guess Tasmania, who fucking knows. Anyway we we are doing the stream to raise money for three wonderful causes which were of course Sikh volunteers Australia, the Lismore branch of the New South Wales State Emergency Service and a local farm that's run by some friends of mine. Loop growers just outside of Brisbane in Draper that got absolutely fucking demolished

by the floods. We managed to raise our completely arbitrary goal of $15,000, which is fucking sensational, but we're going to leave the donations up for a little while longer in case you hear this because you miss the stream and you think, hey, I have a spare, 10 or 20 bucks or whatever I can throw in. That would mean the world to us. You can do that at Bontavista.com slash donate. Fair warning, a lot of lead pipes in this episode.

It's almost entirely lead pipes because of a hell of our own making. Anyway, thanks so much. Stay dry out there. We'll talk to you soon. Bye. Hello and welcome, Buenvista, episode 239. I am Ben and I am here in... Fuck off! Enjoying a lovely afternoon at Goldgotha. to Bounda Vista, episode 239. I am here, and I am here, enjoy...

Fuck off. Enjoying a lovely afternoon at Golgotha in roughly the first century AD. With me, suspended from a wooden cross and completely unremorsful of his crimes. It's Theo. Hi Theo. Hey, buddy, how you're going. Yeah, I'm great. Yeah, I'm up here in Golgotha. Yes, we're both on the hill of Golgotha.

I'm standing on the ground enjoying some snacks and I'm looking up at you. Yeah, I can tell. I can tell. Yeah, and I'm saying, hey man, how do you feel about the crimes you've committed? Well, I mean, first of all you may note that I'm not nude. I feel bad that I'm, they threw th th th tho some some some some some tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, that, that, that, that, that, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, that, that, tho, tho, their, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that, that, that, that, that, that, thou, that, that, that, that, tho. tho. thooooo. thooooooooooo. the. thoo. tho. tho. tho. tha, of all, you may note that I'm not nude. I feel bad that I'm, they threw some pants on me when they put me up here. We wrapped a little log cloth around you, yeah. It's not, yeah, it's not what I was after, to be perfectly honest. You wanted to have you junk out. Well, my crimes were mostly those of nudity. Yeah, you don't get that one in the new international version of of of the Bible. They just call you a thief. They don't say

This guy was a perpher. Yeah, a thief of decency. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Also with me suspended from a wooden cross and quite remorseful for his crimes. It's Andrew. Hi Andrew. Hey, I feel pretty bad about like the stealing and stuff, but they specifically said that it wasn't a problem that I was naked. I thought... Well, they sort of, they looked you up and down and they went, Lee, that's fine. They said, that's fine. And then they look back over at Theo and they went, get some fucking pants on him. Come on. Yeah. What's taking so long. Yeah. What's taking so long. I'm actually offended though, I like it this way. You'd like to be told that you've got a nasty little penis. Well, if people like seeing it, then... You look like a little worm up there. You don't have told you to just pick you up and lift you up under this cross and tire there,

you'd be so helpless. I am actually a little ashamed now that Lord of the Rings trilogy but Gollums lost his loincloth. That's what we got going on here. I think you're just describing the crazy frog without his helmet. Now that is actually Andy Circus's bothole as well. They got the little motion-catcher dots on it. Also with me, hanging from a cross and asking her father, the Lord Yahweh, to forgive mankind for their sins despite what they have done to her, it's the Lord Jesus Christ, Lucy.

Hey Lucy. I wouldn't do that, but um, hi. You wouldn't? You'd be like, it's not really my vibe. God, my dad, could you please smite these people because they've been like so rude to me. Yeah, I can't relate to to. to. to to to to to to to to to their to to th. th. to th. th. to to th. to th. to to th. to to the their their their their their their their th their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their God. their God. their God. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their, their, their, their, their, their, th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. theea. thea. th. th. th. thea. th. thea. thea. thea. their their their their these people because they've been like so rude to me. Yeah I like I can't relate to Jesus like if someone did me so dirty like that I wouldn't be like I'll forgive these people. Yeah they'd you're so dirty by crucify you. Yeah that's right. Yes. Like it's toxic. Lucy would be like Daddy Daddy smite them. You know how the rainbow was a promise to the earth that you would never flood the earth again? Just one more time please?

Bloody and then, oh that's a bit topical isn't it? Yeah, and then 2000 years ago. Yeah, and then 2000, 11, 2011. A little lag on that. Probably other places getting flooded as well. Probably. It's not of our business the the the the the thice thice thice thice thice thice thice that that thusususususususususususususususususususususususususus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus that that that thus thus thus was th. It was that that the rainbow that that that that that that that that that that that the rainbow the rainbow was was was was was was was was was was was was was was the rainbow. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It was was was was was was was was was was was was was that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that thus. It was thus. It was thus. It was thus. It's thus. I was thus. I was th. I was tho. I was tho. I was tho. I was th. I was tho. I was tho. I was th. I was th. It was that. 11. A little lag on that. 2022. Probably other places getting flooded as well. Probably. It's none of our business though.

None of our fucking business. Best not to think about it. Welcome to the 2022, our first fundraiser of the year. Yeah. Yep. Have we had to fundraise for any other? I think we skipped fires this year. Okay, we skip fires. Although they might still be coming down the pipe, it's hard to say.

I don't really know what that Leninia is doing. I think the Leninia might be flipping. Yeah, get dry again. But at the moment, it's very wet, so we, and then using other people's money to donate to charity. So thank you so much for tuning into this live stream unless you're listening to it after the fact, then go fuck yourself. What we're going to be doing, hmm? Oh, I just want to make really clear that when we do get all the donations all gathered

up and we give it to the organization, Ben makes a big deal of saying, this is all out of my pocket. I did this. Nobody helped me. Yeah, I asked around and everyone said no. So I had to do it all with my own money. It was so many posts. We're going to be doing a very special fundraising live stream this evening where we are going to be

breaking the world record for the most number of lead pipe threats ever made in a live or recorded podcast episode. Now that previous title I believe is held by us and it would have been a lot of work to figure out what that number was so I didn't even try. I reckon 23. I reckon 23. Let's call it I reckon. Go for a personal best. Now the metric that I decide to use was that we would do 10 lead pipe threats for every $500 raise. Now Theo you're a bit of a math man. He's gone. He's jumping out of the window he's done. He's out of here. He's down off the cross and he's gone.

We've raised $6,500 at this junction. Now, 6,500 divided by 500. That's there? Is that 7? 7? Yeah, 7 lead pipes. Is that 13? 13 times 10. That's 130. Yeah. So now we have prepared, I think somewhere

in the vicinity of 80. Yeah. Maybe. Look, I'm going to go out on a limb and say, look, we really haven't put a lot of time and effort into figuring out exactly how this is going to work. But I spent all day doing this. Thankthank you very much. But, I'm in the side right now man. Last moment. But I'm not a hundred percent convinced that listeners are going to enjoy like a hundred and thirty straight? So you say Ben's Ben's idea was a bad one. I have known I'm that interested in what listeners do or do not enjoy and I'm not going to start now. No, that's that's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I's the the th. I'm th right. I'm th right. I'm th tho. I'm tho. I'm tho. I'm tho. I'm tho. I'm tho. I'm tho. I'm the. I'm the. I'm thin. I'm thin. I'm thin. I'm in thin. I'm in th. I'm in th. I'm in th. I'm in the the the th. I'm in th. I'm in th. I'm in th. I's th. I'm in thin. I'm thin. I'm thin. I'm in thin. I'm in thin. I'm in thin. I'm in thin. I'm in thin. I'm in thin. I'm in thin. I'm in thin slide thin. I'm in going to start now. No, that's true. That's not really the vibe of the show. Can't please everyone. You can please everyone in Fiji. Good honor. Number one comedy podcast in Fiji on the Apple podcast charts. Now, it's not like there can't be other Apple users in Fiji listening to comedy podcast like it's you know like we could like okay

freakishly someone went on holiday there and then listen to a bunch of Budavista and pumped up the numbers but like other people there are they've got to be listening to John Oliver have a podcast he seems to type probably people over there listening to John Oliver. Yeah. It's about a million people in Fiji. Wow. Wow. Do you get that data live? Hacker man. It's like five Hobart. It's like five Hobart. the 202,906. Could you look up? A 0.72% increase from 2020. Could you see who's on the rest of the comedy charts in Fiji on the Apple podcast there? Yeah, I can do that. You just spin your wheels for a minute and I'll let you know where we're sitting. Dave Hughes, maybe some big Hughes fans over there.

Who's near us? They go crazy for Husey and Fiji. Now, so what I think we're going to do with this episode is we are probably going to interspers the various lead piping we have with other things because I believe Andrew was correct that for us to list just several things we would like to beat up continuously with no breaks for an hour or so would be terrible. Andrew, was that you pumping your fist because you were correct or because you found the... The first one? Because you acknowledge that I was correct. But now I'm doing... What's the sad version of a fist pump? Do you think?

I don't... I don't know if there is one of those. A downward. No. All right, that's not working. Because we have dropped. I'm very sorry everybody, but we've dropped. We've fallen from Grace. Oh shit. Resting on our laurels, that's our problem. The Apple podcast comedy charts for Fiji, we have fallen all the way from number one down to number two. Who's ahead of us? Say it.

Say that hard. The podcast that is ahead of us that was in the same ballparktime. If it's rational fear, I'll do my body with dynamite, explode myself on the M1. It is the True Jordy podcast. Oh, come on. The True Jordy podcast is from True Jordy and Lawrence McKenna interviewing some of the most interesting and insightful guests on YouTube and iTunes. Oh, that's not what I thought you meant. Fchchchchchchchchchchchchchch. F F F Ffjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj- that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that's that's that's that's that's that that that that that that that that that the the that the the the the the the the thi the the the. I the. I the. I the. I the. the. that's that's that's that's that that. Oh, that's not what I thought you meant.

No, I thought you meant FJs. You can't say his name because I think he searches for his name and then it, you know, you know, Jordy, Jordy Madge, Jordi. Oh, okay. All right. Truejordy. Recent guests include, uh, undisputed middleweight UFC champion Israel., th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. You. th. You. th. You. You. You. th. You. You. You. thi. thi. You've, thi. You've, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, you thi, you thi, you thi, you meant you meant you meant you thi, you th. you th. you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, th. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. If. If, th. If, thi, thi, thi. If. If. If. If. If. I thi. I thi. I've thi. I tho. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi, thi, thi. Okay. Recent guests include a undisputed middleweight UFC champion Israel Adisania, Russell Brand. It appears that there are two episodes.

Sounds great. What's going on here? It's taking off. Strong start. Well, can you, who are the other eight in the top 10? Okay, we've also got a 20. Yeah of course. Oh no we've got the Dutch coming out of us here with number four Peter here shop with Deweak van Peter. Triple M's the Marty Sheargold show.

Yeah. Australia's Tafop, Will Anderson and so on. Sister podcast to this show in that we share a graphic designer. Yep. We've also got Bud Pod with Phil Wang and Pierre Novelie. Zane and Heath unfiltered. Don't you know who I am hosted by Josh Earl and No, never heard of you. Do go on, which I believe is also an Australian podcast. A lot of Australian podcasts.

Do Go On's. Wonderful, actually. I'd really like to go on. Trevor Noah's. Trevor Noah, theyke. Fuck you Trevor Noah. You beat your ass. I will hit Trevor Noah with the th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. Don th. Don't th. Don't th th th. Don't th. Don't th. Don, don't th. Don, don't th. Don, don't th. Don, don th. Don, don th. Don, don th. Don, don th. Don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don't, don't, don't, don't, I th. Don, I th. Don, I th. Don, I th. Don't th. Don't th. Don't th. Don't th. Don't th. Don't the, the, the. theat theat theat tho. tho. thooo. Don't tho. Don't tho. Don't tho. Don't tho, don't tho, don... Get wrecked. Fuck you, Trevor Noah. You beat your ass. I will hit Trevor Noah with a lead pipe. There's one. What, Kyle and Jack, let me update by running at number that number.

Yeah, I have one. It's one. Fantastic. Just one beat across on the abacus. Sweet. Now, I reckon before we launch into, I mean we've already had one, but before we launch into some more lead pipings, I think we should maybe start with just a little nice story, nothing too

nothing too crazy, nothing too wild, in fact it's a story about nothing happening. This is of course, Andrew, the nothing to report report. I can't remember what we did for this second. I think we play a cut-down version of John Cage's four minutes, 33 seconds, am I right? Little joke for that. I don't recall that at all. Musicheads out there. I don't think we've ever had a stig for the nothing to report report. This is from WGME News in Maine, Wag me, I believe that is. Hey, wag me. That's one of those things they say to each other over there. Man seen carrying his own severed arm, not an employee at where it was cut off.

Oh, S, what. OSHA says. So he wanted. Simply none of our business. Let me explain. Andrew you have just summarized the entire story. The occupational safety and health administration says a man whose arm was severed at a Lewiston main market did not work there. The agency says it ended its investigation into the incident because the man wasn't an employee at AK market, giving them no jurisdiction to investigate what happened. Hey.

Well, fair enough. And you want us to do what about it? This is so good. In January, 25-year-old Abdi Aziz Hussein of Lewiston was saved by city employees who saw him walking down the street carrying his severed arm, which had been cut off near the shoulder and applauded a tourniquet. According to the Sun Journal, police did not reveal the man's relationship to the market or what led up to the injury, but did say it involved a meat cutting band saw. You can't not explain like where, why his arm cut off.

Like how the band saw was involved. I mean I think the band saw was involved in like the cutting off his arm portion. Oh okay. Yeah, he was distracted by the noise of a meat cutting band saw that it came off in a completely different fashion. You guys, uh, you guys have ever seen a butcher like splicing up a cattle, whatever one of those bad boys? I don't like it, I don't like it one bit. I think I've told this on the podcast before, but when I was working at Woolies as a young man back when they had real butchers in the shop still before they got rid of it. Oh, back in those things.

Milk was $4. Yeah. Not the milk I buy, buddy. Your old bitch was $10. One of the butchers cut one or two of his fingers off on the meat band saw. And so obviously he was away for a little while. And when he came back, they officially rode him up. They gave him a written warning for... Reprimand? Yeah. I feel like you've already got your reprimand like...

Yeah, like every time you look at the cannons. You think, oh, not doing that. Yeah, two fingers for a, for two fingers, sort of the deal there. When I worked at Domino's, there's two separate things happened. One, a guy put his arm quite accidentally into the big dough mixer and the hook just sort of like snapped in half. No. No. No. And the other lady, a lady got a hair caught in the, their, their theatner's where you put a dough, and the ball in top it goes, v. Make it like straight one way and you flip, and put his his his his his his, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, put the, put his his his the arm, put the arm, put the arm, put the arm, put the the the the the the the the the th, put th, put his th, put the th, put the th, put th, put th, put th, put th, put th, put th, put th, put th, put th, put th, put th, put th, put th, put th, put th, put th, put th, put the arm, put the arm, put the arm, put the arm, put the arm, put the arm, put the arm, put th, put th, put th, put th, put th. Put his thi, put thi, put the the, put the, put the the. Put the the the. Put the the. Put his the, put the, put thi, put thi, put thi, put thi, put the, there are these like dough flatteners where like you put a

dough in the ball in top it goes, makes it like straight one way and you flip it and go v. And she kind of got her hair stuck in there anyway. Wait, these both happened at the dominoes that you worked at? At the dominoes that I worked at. Wow. This is the dominoes you worked at where all you did was smoke a ton of weed and drive your tiny shit car around stone to all delivering pieces, right? Yeah. I mean, all I did, yeah, I did the job.

Yeah, they, when you get there, they give you... I read the brief, okay. They give you the hat and the nickel bag of bushweed when you get there. Give you the worst PGR weed you've ever had in your life and they're they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're their, thua, I thua, I thu, I thu, I thu, I thage, I that, I that, yeah, yeah, I th. Yeah, I that, I that, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I I I I I I I I I I I, yeah, yeah, yeah. I I I I, yeah, I I I, I I I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th. I th. I th. I th. I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I th. I th. I th. Yeah, I th. Yeah, I th. Yeah, I th. Yeah, I th. Yeah,cupide tree CD and they say, hey, you figure it out. Yeah, and I did. This is your deal, it's your deal now. It's a great mix. Oh man. So yeah, that's that whole story.

That's literally it. That's just, oh well, he should be bed there. I can lead us directly into a lead pipe. Mmm, well, I guess let's let's kick it off here. we go. All right Nice With the lip pipe She's mighty angry Ready to start a fight With a lip pipe

She's seen red, she's swinging red, gonna hit your hand in my hand, yeah. Carrying on from horrific injuries, these are ten things that have happened to my body, which I would like to lead pipe, metaphorically. In year two, I kicked a brick and took off approximately a quarter of my big toenail. In year four, I was sharpening sticks on dad's angle grinder to make them pointy and I slipped and took the right hand side off of my index fingertip. Wait, sorry, when you say an angle grinder, are you talking about a handheld grinder or are you talking like a bench? We're talking a bench to the rotating ones, yeah. Yep, certainly. Okay, I'm glad that's a, let's fix something up for you. Because th. Because th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. th. thi. th. th. thi. thi. thi. th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the th. the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. their th. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. the. to. toge. toge. toge. toge. toda. toge. toge. toge. toe. toge. toge. toge. Okay, I'm glad that's, let's fix something up for you.

Because that's slightly less insane. Okay. Just like, got my goggles on my goggles on. I've definitely told this one on the podcast before. In year 5, I tripped and put a long steel rod through the back of my mouth and it bounced off of my spine. Oh! It just like, dong! That wasn't good. And year six I got mono for like a week and couldn't move. That suck. Yeah.

That time I was riding to from, two dominoes actually, so quite related from home, sort of like went through a set of gates that are there so you know cars can't drive down the bike path. Oh the kind of staggered ones? Yeah exactly and I took it too fast my pedal got caught and I just went wop straight over the handlebars and landed on my lip. Just like stopped on my lip like that. Why have you got so many of these? I'm active. I'm sort of out there in the... I've lived a lot. You live in front the the the the the the the the th the th th th in front in front in front in front in front in front in front in front in front in front in front in front in front in front in front in front the the the the the the the the the th in front of th th th. th. th. th. the the th. th. th. th. th. th. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. the the the the the the the the the the the th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. th. I. th. th. t. te. tog. tog. te. tog. tog. tog. tog. tog. tog. tog. tog. tog. the. the. te of out there in the... I've lived a lot. You live in front of the computer like me. But they don't need to know that. You know when we all look at Theo we all think outdoorsman. That guy is getting amongst it. Yeah he's yeah. He's like that guy from into the wild loves shitting himself. Uh, that time I couldn't pee and I had to go to ER and get catheterized. Yeah that was two years ago? No that was like nine years ago.

No it was before a new Galen that was also have a couldn't piss incident in the last couple of years? No no no this is this is like I feel like that might have been a friend of the show my dad I've yeah, I get me and your dad mixed up on Those two people confused. It was in the last couple of years when we were when we were in Brisbane because we had gone for a respite from the bushfire smoke Mmm because it had just been going for months. Everything is connected. Isn't that so cool? It's just nonstop.

It's just nonstop. So yeah, we had taken a flight. Sorry, dad, if you're listening to this. He's the kind of person who does not share these stories. But yeah, so we were all up there, and he was just, he was having a bunch of pains and couldn't pee as well and they went to the doctor and they thought it was something, they thought it was whatever it was and they said hey you need to keep drinking tons of water I think they thought it was kidney kidney stones.

Yeah, they're just like, hey you gotta keep you gotta fill that, you gotta fill that that bad boy up and then they they they they they they they they they th th th th th th th th th th th th th th I I th I th I th I th I th th i thin' thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thin' thin' tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho thin' thin' thin' th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the the the theee theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeea thoooooooooooooooooo. the the the to me. They're just like, hey, you gotta keep, you gotta fill that, you gotta fill that bad boy up and then... And he kept doing it and nothing kept coming out. And he was like, oh, this is really bad, it's getting really bad. This is a horrible way to start this last true. Yeah, exactly the same shit. I got into the, into the ultrasound where they'm like, bro, okay, first of all. I would get me out. I would love to. I'd love to do that. And they scan my bladder and there's like a liter of water in there and the human bladder

holds 600 mills. So it's all like backed up into my kidneys and stuff. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So what was it? What happened? we don't know. I think, and so the catheter kind of just like sounded everything out. Splush. Yep, just whop. And then shout out to sounding. Whompsh. Yeah, get yourself sounded if you're not sure. Oh, you can actually buy sounding kits if you ever

opened up in that position. Just Google sounding kits online you should be able to purchase. You'll see some big ones but they start off small. So don't. It's like anything. Don't feel intimidated. Get something that's appropriate for you. Yeah. At the time I came off my bike because the brake seized up, went over the handlebars and landed on my head again. I got a concussion and I threw up and a dog ate my puke

and then uni wouldn't let me take the day off the next day for my exam. Okay, I'm going to say four years ago that one. That was about four years ago. Um, the time of- That doesn't seem long enough ago to me. I mean, you were quite like, you seem to be very casual about it when it happened. You did the classic Theo thing of not making a particularly big deal out. Yeah, um, I I I I, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, the the th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, I, thi, th, that, I that, I that, I that, I was, I was, that, I was, I was, I was, I was, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that was, th, th, th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I was thi thi, I was thi, I was that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that was that that was that was that was that was that was that was not making a particularly big deal out of it. But I was extremely injured. At the time I got gastro and had to go to the PA hospital because I couldn't stop puking and shitting. The time I got gastro and had to go to the Puket hospital because I

couldn't stop puking and shitting. The time I got gastro and had to go to the Q2 hospital because I couldn't stop puking and shitting. That one was like 2020. My man's on his many liquids world tour. Yeah. Because I've been in the middle of a flood the last couple of days, I only got power back yesterday and I had a lot of stuff in the fridge and the freezer and I got one bag of ice at one point in the middle of the flood and I've been trying to sort of keep some food going but it was a little bit tough at one point on, I was gonna say it was Monday, the Milton IJJ that's near me realized

they were going to be without power for a few days. So mid-afternoon they took every single thing on there that needed to be cold stored stored, like, like, like, like, like, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, their, their, their, their, their, to be, their, to be, and their, and to be, and their, and to be, and their, and their, and to be, and their, and then, and to be to be, and too, and I'm too, and I'm too, and I'm too, and I'm too, and too, and too, and too, and too, and too, and too, and too, and too, and too, and too, and to be, and thiii... So, and thi. So, and thi. So, and thi. So, and thi. So, and thi. So, thea, thea, thea.a'a'a'a'er's tha'era'era'era'er's a thoomorrow, thia'er's a thi. Soa, thi, thi. So, they took every single thing on there that needed to be cold stored, like in the shop that needed to be cold stored, so all their cheeses, their meats, they're frozen things, whatever. They threw them in a giant skip outside. And, uh, and uh, that's free food. And we got, did they streets excitedly telling each other about it, which was nice. We had a friend of ours was like, hey, there's a ton of meats and cheeses in a skip outside the IGA if you want that. So I went and I got literally hundreds of dollars of meats and cheeses. And that was amazing.

wea the ton of it, I had some people staying with me because they got followed down their houses, so there was a lot of mouths to feed. But last night, I ate some lamb that, I don't know if I just forgot what lamb is meant to smell like, or it, what I'm saying is that I ate it at approximately 8, 15, and I think it usually takes 24 hours for food poisoning to kick in. So if in 45 minutes I disappear, you know what has happened. Yeah. Yeah.

You're probably fine. It's so tricky with that stuff. Yeah. I feel like there's a real similarity between thinking that you might have food poisoning and now, now of days, thinking that you might have COVID. Because just so constantly like any this morning my cat gets into bed every morning and says time for a cuddle and curls up on my face and a bunch of hair goes in my face and I go oh his time for my morning 40 sneezes you know

but like I came out to the lounge room and my kids were there and I got like red eyes and I'm sneezing and stuff and one of them's like you need one of those rat tests or what? And uh... COVID you old bitch? Yeah, it's just everything every every sore throat and stuff makes you go ooh., ooh, and when you've done that thing where you're like, I wasn't a hundred percent sure about that food I just ate or I wasn't sure about it. Everything suspicious. But you also like you also spend a good hour lying to yourself about it as well?

Like I woke up the next morning after eating the bad brisket that did me in. Oh who can forget the famous, didn't really know how to use to use to use to use to use to use to use to use to use to use to use to use the to use the to use the to use th th that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the isket that did me in. Oh, who can forget the famous, didn't really know how to use a smoker incident of when that happened. What? You guys would be so disappointed. And wake up at like 4 a.m. going like, mmm. I could have cooked at 20 degrees Celsius for 12 hours. Yes, it's called slow cooking, you're fucking idiot. I managed to convince myself that I had COVID a couple of weeks ago because I had had like just two extremely large like batch brew coffees and then gone for a walk in the hottest part of the day.

And then I had like finished taking Louis for a walk and I'm like, oh my god, I'm feeling all feverish. I've got like racing thoughts. I'm like feeling delirious. What the fuck is going on? You know how? You know how COVID makes your thoughts go funny? I like had a lie down and then two hours later I was like, oh no, I had two 12 ounce coffees back to back and they went for a walk at noon in the sun

Well when you have IBS it's like You never think you have food poisoning because you're like oh I just have I just have diarrhea today That's your secret. That's why that's anything. Yeah, that's anything. That's why my milk is expensive because I get the anti-ibes. Dairy-free? Yeah, no, not dairy-free. That's that. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the that's their that's like. that's like. that's like. that's like. that's like. that's like. that's like. that's like. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. that's. that's. that's. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. the the th. the the th. I the the th. I the the th. I the the th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi. I th. I th. I th. I th. IIBS dairy-free milk. You want that Zimel? Not dairy-free? No, not dairy-for, sorry, lactose. In the lactose-free. Which one? I think Zimil? Yeah, that's a good one.

It's good. It's not bad. Yeah, it's fine. It's perfectly fine. It goes fine in a little coffee-milt- coffee milk frother thing. Um, but also if I drink a bunch of it, I don't get diarrhea. Wow. That's a slam dunk for me. Must be nice.

Must be nice. It is. It is. Um, while I've got the lead pipe theme in progress, I might hit you with 10 of my own if I can. I feel like I feel like we're just going to roll out as many as we feel that we have in just intervals. Yeah. And if the audience can just be cool about it, I think that'd be fine. We're half an hour in. We've had plenty of time without, we can dive right in. Yeah, plus we're not reading the chat so your feedback is sort of falling on. It's going absolutely unnoticed. Yeah. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We're. We're. We're. We're. We're. We're. We're. We're th. We're th. We're th. We're th. We're like. We're like. We're like. We're like. We're like. We're like. We're th. We're like like th. We're like we're like th. We're like th. We're like. We're like. We're like. We're like. We're like. We're like. We're like. We're like. We're like. We're like. We're like. We're like. We're th. We're th. We're. We're th. We're. We're th. We're. We're th. We're th. We're th. We're th. We're th. We're th. We're th. We're th. We're th. We're th. We're th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. We're th. I th. We your feedback is sort of falling on. It's going absolutely unnoticed yeah. Although Ben I was just

going to say yes. Since you mentioned floods and mouths to feed and such yeah should we maybe mention the the fundraiser and who we're giving money to and everything? So we're doing a three for this time? we are splitting between the the the fundraiser and who we're giving money to and everything. So we're doing a three for this time. We are splitting between three charities that are very near and dear to my heart and to a lot of Australians. The Sikh Volunteers Australia who like, if you pay any intention to any of the disaster coverage of like anything that happens in Australia, Seek Volunteers Australia just rock up to everything. And they're like, like the fucking, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, their, we are, the, the, we're, we're, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are th. We are th. We are th. We are th. We are th. We are th, we are th. We are th, th. We are th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. We're, th. We're, the of the disaster coverage of like anything that happens in Australia, Sikh volunteers Australia just rock up to everything and they're like like the fucking the there was they're all in news yesterday because these guys

had driven like fucking 30 hours or something to get to northern New South Wales and just immediately started cooking just thousands of meals for people they do every disaster they don't ask for anything for doing it. It is just a beautiful part of Sikhism that that service to others is considered like a primary part of practicing their faith and it's so beautiful and so selfless. And it is also wild to see videos of guys cooking like 500 liters of curry at once. Truly beautiful stuff. Love it. Fucking sensational. Like that grandpa on YouTube that the gigantic dishes of curry at once. Truly beautiful stuff. Love it. Fucking sensational. Like that grandpa on YouTube that cooks the gigantic dishes of curry, you know?

You know that guy? I have no idea. I haven't seen it. I'm not really on YouTube. So yeah, we're splitting it three ways. First is to seek volunteers Australia. Second is the New South Wales. Two billboards. They, for some reason the New South Wales SES website makes you specify a branch to donate it to.

So we are giving to the people of Lizmore because they are absolutely shocked at the moment. They are underwater. Lizmore is basically Venice at this point. Unfortunately, and third we are donating to a go fund me for some friends of mine that run A farm, the farm, as I have referred to and on the podcast. This is where I take my beautiful dog to swim. It is where I buy the bulk of my vegetables from. It's where the co-op that I'm a part of, buys about half of our vegetables from. They are just, they supply to all of the businesses that all of my friends work at and

run. They also do all of the composting and rubbish management for those businesses, and they are just a big community hub and they have been wiped off the fucking map by these floods. Like, they've been flooded before, their their their their their their their their their their their their their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th. They're, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. They're, th. They're, th. They're, th. They're, th. They're, th. They's, th. They's, th. They's, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the. We's, the. We's, thea, thea. We're theaugh, the. We're, the. We're just just just, thea. We're supply, thea, thea, the. We're, the been basically wiped off the fucking map by these floods like they've been flooded before and they have lost all of their gardens their growing areas this time they have lost all of their buildings which includes their animal pens and their pastures and they basically have to start from scratch now but but but the animals are okay right the animals are okay well nearly all of the animals are okay it's very the it's it's the the the the the the the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the the the the the the the the the the thea thea thea thea the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. their their their their their th their their their th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee their their their their the animals are okay, right? The animals are okay. Oh, thank God. Nearly all of the animals are okay.

It's very depressing, so I'm not going to get into details, but not all of them survived. But like it was fucking down to the wire. Apparently they were like cutting the goats off their guidelines as the water was rising around them like it was, it's fucking beautiful goat. Yogachev is still okay. And I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, thi, thi, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it, it's, it, it's, it, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's th thi, it's thi, it's thi, it's thi, it's thi, it's thi, it's thi-n, it's very thi-n, it's very thi-n-n-it's thi-it, it's thi-n, it's thi, it's the water was rising around them like it was it's fucking beautiful but luckily my beautiful goat Yogachev is still okay and I believe Theo's beautiful chicken rogue is still okay. But yeah so we're raising money for those three groups because they bloody need some at this point in time and if we can chuck some towards them from you guys that would be fucking dope. So we are already at $8,787. What?

I rushed a live. What? Of a $10,000 goal, although we started with a $2,000 goal before the live stream, which was immediately met and then we put it up to $5,000 and then that was met again before we started. So thank you everybody for giving very generously as usual. If you are listening to this after the fact of a live show, I can see a baby. It's not Theo. Where did you get that baby? Yeah. Hey, someone give you that you a baby from him. Hey, Fred, buddy, how you doing? Put him on the mic. He's ready.

He's ready. If you would like to give to that fundraiser, after the fact, I'm sure we will keep it open for multiple days after doing a live stream, if you're listening to this through your podcast listening device, if you're listening to this on your Neil Young brand Pono, uh, you can go to... Yeah. If you're listening to this lossless flack on your Neil Young's Pono, please go to... If you're currently remixing this live on your $200 stem player that has eight gigabytes of memory,

you know Finn in the mix. Please go to Buntavista.com slash donate, and that'll take you to the go fund me. You can see some more details about everything. Chuck a few beans in the pot, you know? For our three billboards outside Lismore, New South Wales. Yeah. Now we're getting too many donations to individually thank people because that would be very boring for everyone listening.

I would just like to make two specific shoutouts to just two that have that have that have that have that have that have that have that have that have that have that have that have that have that have that have that have shout-outs to just two that have caught my eye as I've been scrolling right now. One is to the Cincinnati Chile Defense Force. Thank you for your work. At the second is to 19 minutes ago a $50 donation from Mr. Dick touches the water when I shit. Oh an American. Okay. Is there a Mrs. Dick touch the waterthe water when I shit. Oh, an American. Okay. Is there a Mrs. Dick touch the water? It's just the water levels very high. The water's too high, man. Too high.

All right, I'm going to give you a speed round of 10 mascots that I would like to hit with a lead pipe. The Docker. The Docker. Excuse me? The Dockers mascot Johnny the Docker. Excuse me? Is that the fucking excuse me? Oh that guy.

He's just a big guy? He's a fucked up man. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Rowdy, the mascot of the Dallas Cowboys. All right.

Okay. It's a fucked up looking cowboy. I thought Johnny the Docker was going to be like, um... An anchor? No, like, like, docker's like the pants. I was like, who, what the fuck is this a sponsor for? Okay, sorry. Uh, one of the two mascots of the Cronulla Sharks, MC Hammerhead. Yeah, I don't like him.

Great name though. It's very unpleasant. Now we might have discussed this one of the podcast before, but you're going to have to duck dot go images this one if you're unfamiliar with him. Wichita State University's mascot, Woo-shock. W-shock. Wushk. Wushk.

And then the word shock, shock as you might know from system shock too. Oh, that's good. That's the only place I know that word from. Yeah, you see like the black and white pictures. I don't like that. Yeah, he's been around for like too long. The black and white photos seem like some real, the shining shit of just like, you've always been here. Just walking past a doorway while Wushak's getting his dick sucked on a bed. Hey while you're talking about a MC Hammer band, yeah, certainly. I just wanted to briefly say, I was watching a few videos recently that was like old hip-hop

guys talking about the old hip-hop scene. And multiple videos of people including MC Search from Third Base who was talking about their the classic song the Gas Face. I've actually been listening to his his that podcast he's producing about the history of MF Doom and he talks a lot about where they came up with the term the gas face on that podcast. So him and also Redman both talking about how MC Hammer is fucking insane and like tried to kill people over rap beefs in the 90s.

And MC Search specifically said that they had there was was a line in, there was a line in the gas face because they had a song on their album called The Cactus and the Hamer's big song was called Turn This Mother out. And they had a line in Gasface that was, the cactus turned to M.C. Hammer apparently will not have you saying things about his mother because he took out a $50,000 contract to have MC Search killed. And like that's just kind of not what you really think of when you look at MC Hammer. No. Also not what I think of when I look at MC Hama. No. But that was fun. Fun to find out about MC Hammer that

he's like, if talk about my mother I will have you killed for money. 50 grand, 50 large. That's 50 grand in like the early 90s, you know. Yeah, I don't know enough about money to know what that's the equivalent of now. Probably more. The next up I have the University of North Carolina's School of the Arts mascot, the fighting pickle. Now, if you had... School of the Arts? That's right. If you had a particularly under active imagination, you might just think of this as a pickle with arms and legs.

But this pickle is surrounded by... Oh, he's an artist. Oh no! Now this I hate. Yeah, he's got a piano around him, I believe. Yeah. And he's holding a paintbrush. Yeah. Is he wearing a beret as well? In my opinion, he is wearing an art hat of some kind. Yeah, very velvety sort of art hat. He's doing art for sure. Yeah. The piano that's entirely surrounding him, I don't want to, oh sorry, he's also wearing a mask, like a banded mask, and is occasionally holding a like you would use for starting a scene in a movie to represent

as a French pickle. All the arts I guess. He's wearing the piano. Sorry, yeah. I was just gonna say the most unsettling part about him because as everybody watching us live will know a podcast is an audio media. Yeah, that's right. Purely audio. Puely audio. And so he has his hat.

He has gloves over the top of his green pickle outfit, unnecessary. The piano wrapped around him. Dirty Frenchman's perverted, curly moustache and little beard, like he's one of the fucking musketeers. Yes. Worst part to me, he's also wearing a mask over his eyes. He has a white mask in the style of like Robin from the 1960s Batman show, you know. How concealed does your identity need to be? But, uh... Yeah, you're the only pickle wearing a piano around here, buddy.

His eyebrows are in front of his mask. Like they, I don't really understand. It's a real disguise actually is. Is it the face we put on? It's worse if it's part of his face, I don't really understand. It's amazing to ask what the real disguise actually is. Is it the face we put on? It's worse if it's part of his face, I think. Don't like him at all. Leadpipe. Just a little bit of foreshadowing. He is one of two things that I will list as a lead pipe that are sort of wearing a piano as a skirt. We're moving on. Uh, Providence College's friar dom. This is, it is a human man who is a friar of some kind.

Oh. Yes. Oh, no, that is ghastly. That's ghastly. It's not nice. But also, his face is not, it's not plush. It looks quite solid, which is why I think a lead piping would be particularly delightful. He looks... He's satanic. He looks like he's in misery. It's going to show this to our list and watchers briefly. Like he's in the movie or the same name. There he is, I hate him. I hate him. He's very... He would be glad to be led. He to be. to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. the the the the. theat. theat. theat. theat. theat. theat. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. I hate him. He's very glad to be led piped. He wishes for death all the wrong. A lot of these ones do. Bring me closer to Lord. Up next I have the Stanford Tree, the unofficial mascot of Stanford University. Hey Theo, imagine that you're up on the cross and that guy comes up to you, that friar comes up

to you and asks you to renounce your sins. Get out of here. But bro, do you want to hop up here? You look like someone who wants to be crucified right now. Buddy? It's all yours. Imagine putting the nail through a big foam hand. Really unsettling texture. unsettling texture.

See if it takes. Sorry Ben. Yeah, the Stanford tree. Duck, duck, go, the Stanford tree. The Stanford tree appears to come in many forms. But imagine... But imagine... the stroe's mechanical keyboard.

I don't have a mechanical... Sorry, that's mine. That's mine. Thank you. I spilled, it's canon, I spilled a whole fucking cup of coffee on my mechanical's keyboard mid-episode. You're not supposed to do that. They died there and then. All right, there's a lot of iterations of this tree. Yeah. So sexyer than others. Oh no. I'm showing the stand for them on a ss. S se. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm th. I'm th. th. th. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. It's th. It's th. It's th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the the the the the the the th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. th. th. the. th. th. the. th. th. the. th. th. th. thing the Stanford tree to watch this right now. We have one here that looks like Grug. Some of them have big juicy lips and eyelashes. Yeah. That is the female version. So we call that for list of submissions, which we will get to later on, but so many people have already mentioned before.

No, beautiful creature. People want Grug destroyed. The people said Grug, who we have already mentioned before. No, beautiful creature. People want Grug destroyed. The people hate Grug. What does Grug ever done to you? Next up I have Elvis J. Eel, the mascot of Southend United Football Club. This is an eel with the hair of Elvis. That's... That's... That's unnecessary.

I don't like the ones, like not to be a hometown hater or anything, but... But, um... Look at him. Also, this is... There are two mascots for South End United Football Club. The other, I think, is called Sammy thethe Shrip and he looks like absolute dog shit. But Elvis J Eels. Elvis J Eel's hair really pushes him over the line in a way that Sammy the Shrimp doesn't

quite do it for me. Yeah, Sammy the Shrimp in a fancy, just a shrimp. The eel looks like Darrell's Summers. I don't, I think I like specifically don't like a mascot outfits where they have just like a head and then the whole body is just a normal guy's body with a thin coating on it. You know what I mean? Do you get what I mean by that? Like a lot of mascots they have sort of. There's a whole body, there's a bunch of thick th. th. th. th th th th th th th. th th th th th th th th th th a thin coating on it? You know what I mean? Do you get what I mean by that? Like a lot of mascots they have sort of... There's a whole body, there's legs, they got a bunch of stuff going on. The hometown mascot of the Canber Raiders. Oh, it fucking sucks,

man. I hate it. I wanted to include it on the list, but whatever the fuck his name is. I don't even know what his name is. I'm sure the the the yeah, he's got like a raid ahead, but then it's just like spandex on a dude wearing footy shorts, you know? It's like, no. Hey, we're up to $9,196. Oh my goodness. Oh, $10,000. Sorry, I said I wouldn't, I wasn't going to name specific donations again. I just want to give to give to give to to to to to to to to to to to the their their their their thoe. I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I'm thi. thi. I tho, I tho, I thoom. I thoom. I thoom. thoom. tho. tho. tho. tho, tho. tho, tho, tho, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, thin, I'm thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, tho the the the the thean thean thean thin, thin, thoan thoan thin, thin, tho specific donations again. I just want to give out to a shout out to dear friend of the show, who's been a guest on the show, I

love very, very much, Phoebe Paradise who spelled her own name wrong in the donation. Thanks, Feeney. I really appreciate it. I've got two more in this bracket. Okay. I have. Kingsley, the mascot of Partic Fistle Football Club. Pardon? Kingsley, he is the mascot of Partic Fistle football club. They just make stuff up. I would I describe him as something of an angry son. Not like a child of yours, but like a... Like the son. Yeah. He's starting to get close to, like, you know, um, does anybody follow that Twitter account

that is just all of the Japanese mascots for different products? You're foreshadowing what my last one on this list is going to be. Because yeah, this one to me is getting closer to... I don't like Kingsley. It looks like a Keith Haring picture. He's unturned. What is he, what is happening to him that he feels that way? They've also not really made any attempt to give a structure? His big monobro brow. Honk and big nostrils. Why does the sun need nostrils? What's part of thistle? You just misspelled Patrick. It looks silly. Patrick thistle. The last one I have on my list is, and you're going to have to Google this one as well, I'm afraid, Takenabe Taishi Kun, the mascot of Takenabe Town in Japan, that is TAA, K, N, A, B, E. And you can figure out the rest rest rest. This rest. This rest. This this this this this this this th. This th. This th. This th. This th. This th. This th. This th. This thi has has has has thi. This thi, thi, thi, th is has has has has has has has has has has has has thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and th is th is th is th is th is th, and you has, and you has, and th, and th, and th, and th. This th. This th. This th. This th. This th. This th. This th. This th. This th. This th. This th. This th. This thi. This thi. This thi. This thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thee. thi. thi. thi. th-N-A-B-E, and you can figure out the rest.

This thing has several heads and far too many arms and is extremely cursed. What's his name? What's his name? Takenabe Taishi Kun. Taishi Kun. Okay. Oh, he's got so many arms. He has very many arms. He is from hell.

So he's based on a shrine, a statue of a shrine that's there, but he looks like a cute version of like an enemy that you might fight in a video game of some kind. Yeah. You're going to see him and then you're going to're gonna say see you died across the screen. Yeah, yeah, I did one of my brackets but yeah, yeah, is it souls games enemies? Theo, I bought Eldon Ring just so you know. This guy looks like a little- I'm still playing Sikira. I gotta get through that. I haven't got time for Olden Ring. I assume that's got my vibe.

Should I throw a few lead, lead pipe candidates?. I, I, I, I that. I that. I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I can that, I can't that, I can't that, I can't that, I can't that that that's theck, yeah, I can't that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that, I can't that, I can't th. Yeah, I can can't th. Yeah, I can't th. Yeah, I can't th. Yeah, I can't the theck, I can't theck. Yeah, I'll theckeckecka. Yeah, I'll thecka'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'er thecka'er got my vibe. Should I throw a few lead, lead pipe candidates? Yeah, it's when that pipe around. I mean, we're so far 21 in. Yeah, go. Just to lead in. Because I did, I did have a mascot and that is Crazy John, who is also a man. Crazy John might be... Like I think he might be punching down.

I don't think you can make assumptions about Crazy John. Who's... I mean, he got pulled from their advertising. Oh, Crazy John! Oh, boy. Oh, he's bad. He does not look good, does it him. I don't think he looks crazy in the way where you're like, he's so crazy, he's he, he's he, he's he, he's he, he's he, he's thi, he's thi, he's thi, he's thi, he's thi, he's thi, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, he's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's thi's thi's thi's thi. thi., does he? I don't think he looks crazy in the way where you're like, he's so crazy about deals. You're like, oh he, he stopped developing when he was around 11.

Well, I'm glad they got rid of Crazy John. Never formed that, never formed that like hard Patella, Crazy John. You just tapped your head and said Patella, didn't you? Yep. Yep. Look. All right. I want to take a lead pipe into Lego world. Okay. All right. That's just pleasant. That'd be nice. That would be fun. Yeah, you know where people who just put thousands of hours painstakingly into building. Yeah, these replicas. Yeah, their. Yeah, you know where people who just put thousands of hours painstakingly into the the the the th th th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah nice. That's just that would be fun. Yeah, you know where people have just put thousands of hours painstakingly into building these replicas and things in Lego and then I just come in and I'm like, make something new. Pshh, pshh. Plus, a lot of kids are kids. Yeah, like destroying some Lego would cheer. Some kids would cheer. Some kids will cry.

A lot of kids are cry. Yeah. Well, they're not my kids, so. Yeah. But you would have to take your kids with you because they don't let out-attended, like they don't let loan adults go to Lego world. Oh, they don't like Lego freaks in there? It's part of their policies. They should have that policy. They should have that policy. that policy. that policy. that policy. that policy. that policy. that policy. that policy. that policy. that that that that that that that that that that that that their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thi. their their their their their their their their their their their they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. the. the. the. the. theats. theats. theats. that's theats. theats. theats. theats. thoo. theats. theats. they're not. they're not they're not. They get real mad at it. I'm doing a repeat entry on this list, right? I know that we have received like roughly 600,000 submissions from listeners, and a lot of them are ones that we have done on additions of lead pipe in the past. We can't remember them, so it's rude of us to expect them to remember them. It's not a criticism or anything like that. But I am re-entering the spill monitoring robot from Woolworth's grocery stores.

I think that might have been the OG. That might be one of the first ones we did, yeah. It might have been. Not only is this one still in my local fucking store, but apparently his ability to detect customers is gone. Because he is... Now I like him. Yeah, he's no longer just kind of like making a beeline down the aisle

and smiling at you from one of his several LED faces. Now he's doing like a kind of, uh, just like an S-shaped thing. And like you go near it and it just sort of goes and like cuts cutting across like people people with trollies just cannot get past him at all uh... i was walking around the store and just saw like every time i would walk past the aisle with him in it

there would be someone near it going what the fuck is going on with this thing so it's gone from like being unsettling and kind of annoying to it is now actively impeding customers anywhere that it encounters them in the store. I've never been closer to kicking it up high in the hopes of toppling it over and hoping that it may be someone's put a little pre-recording saying help help help in there you know I am in pain I am distressed. I am I'm and and kind and and kind and and kind and and kind and and kind and and kind th and kind and kind and kind and kind and kind and kind and kind and kind and kind and kind and kind and kind and kind and kind and kind and kind and kind and kind and kind and and and and and and and kind and and and and and and and and I have th. I've th and and and and and and and and th. I've th. And I've and kind and kind and kind and kind and and kind and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and. I th. I th. I th. I'm and I th. I'm and I've. I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm th. I'm kind kind kind th. I'm kind th. I'm kind kind th. I'm that maybe someone's put a little pre-recording saying, help, help, in there, you know? I am in pain, I am distressed.

I have been programmed to feel pain. The light is a fading. I am alone. Just a quick update on a previous lead pipe entry. Dear friend of the show, hacklocked, reminded me that in the chat there that crazy John actually had a, I, had a, had a, had a, had a, had a, had a, had a, had a, had a, had a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the, had a the the the the the the the the today, had a the, had a the the the the the the the the thoomomomathea, I'm the, I'm the, I'm the, I the, I the, I the, I the, I the, I the, I, I the, I the, I tape, I tape, I tape, I tape, I tape, I tape, I tape, I was tape, I was tape, I'm today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, I'm today, I'm today, I me that in the chat there that Crazy John actually had a heart attack and died at age 42, 2007. The mascot was crazy John, the John Ilham, I think the CEO of Crazy Johns had a heart attack and died and I think that's going nuts up in heaven now. Oh no, who let him in here, you know?

Rested peace to Crazy John. RIP, Crazy John, unless he was bad, in which case. Good ridden. Rest in hell, crazy, you're dead bitch. Thanks, Heather. I would like to wail on some of the bodies from the Body Worlds exhibition. Oh yeah, yeah. Yeah, wonderful. They're repulsive.

Disgusting. And you could bash it. What is the Body World? So you may have seen some of the bodies in the Body World's exhibition in one. One of the Daniel Craig James Bond movies. I can't remember which one. It is Casino Royale. The first. The body. The body. The body. the body. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. the body. the body. the body. the body. th. th. th. the body. the body. Oh. the body. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's is Casino Royale the first one. The good one. Okay. It's so fucking, they're all good actually. Even the bad ones are good. Yeah, but that one's got Eva Green in it. Oh, it sure does. Who? Now we're talking. I think that is probably... Yeah, that's a hot broad. When did that movie come out? Because like I'm I'm old. I'm that. I'm that. I'm the that. I'm that. I'm that. I'm the that. I'm that. I'm that. I'm that. I'm they. I'm that's. I'm that's. I'm that's. I'm that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a they. I'm that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm the the the that's a the the th. I'll th. I'll that's that's th. I'll that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's a good. I's a that's come out? Because like I'm old enough now that like when I see people... 99 I think.

I reckon? When I... 2006 or seven. Okay. Because now when I see people doing like fandom stuff, you know where people are just kind of going ape shit about characters and actors all that sort of thing. I'm like ridiculous ridiculous. I feel like Eva Green in that movie was probably the last time that I can remember I that I that I that I that I remember. I remember remember remember remember remember remember remember remember remember I remember remember that I remember that I remember that I remember that I remember that I remember that I th. I th. I th. I th. I can remember th. I can remember th. I can remember th. I can remember th. I can th. I the. I can th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the. I the. I thin. I to thin. I th. I to. I thin. I to. I thin. I thin. I th. I thin. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. of thing. I'm like, ridiculous, ridiculous. I feel like Eva Green in that

movie was probably the last time that I can remember seeing a character in a movie and going, I love you lady in the movie. You're so beautiful. I haven't seen it. Oh, she's so French. Anyway, in that movie they go through the Body World's Exhibit. And so this is a, this is a... Stabs a guy in there. Yeah, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, that's that's that's thi, that's that's thii, thiii, thii, they's thi, thi, thi, thi, exhibit and so this is a this is a stabs a guy in there yeah and it just sits him down in a chair doesn't he James Donstar so it's a I don't know reasonably controversial exhibit where where the person who puts them on has a bunch of dead bodies so the real dead bodies and he has removed the skin from them, so you can see all the musculature and stuff, and preserve them in various poses. So if you were like, damn, I'd like...

A skinned dick. Have they got the old Frankfurter on there? So if you wanted to see, you know, a skinless body doing like the aerobic rings or something, you could be like, damn, that's that's what all those muscles are doing. There's babies in there too, there's dead babies. No thank you. I'm all good on dead babies. I'm all good on dead babies but that is one of my lists. Dead babies? Not quite. Probably most on your list. Variations on the theme. I would also like to add Tique from the 1985 Star Wars TV movie Battle for Endor. Oh all right, okay. Yeah anybody remember any of those movies? I've seen the

Battle for Endor. Yes. Live actually works movies. Yeah. Yeah. I want to see the to see to to to to to to to to see to see to see to see to see to see to see to see the to see the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the most the most the the the the most the most most most most the most the the the the the most the most the most the most most most the most most most most most most most most most most most most most most most most most most most most the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the most most most most most most most most most the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th the th th thus. thus. the. the. theat. theat. theat. theat. theat. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea I've seen the Battle for Randall. Two Ewok's movies? Yes. But live actually, it was a movie, sorry. Yeah. Those ones are very funny to me because they popped up like after or in between the success of the original ones and it just has like magic wizards and shit. Yeah, it's so good.

They're just like dumb fantasy movies where they're like, well, now, there's an old guy and the force. I wanna check though because I think that George Lucas wrote them. Yeah, probably. That man wrote a lot of it. He did, he did.

So yeah, there's a little guy called Teak who runs very fast, so he would be hard to catch. But when you get him. They're rewarding. Whap! You know, he's got like body all covered in fur, but with a kind of fleshy face, like the Gobble Dogdock, who is another. He was an the notorious entrant.

Very early entrant, yeah, the list. Resugested often in listener submissions the Gobblower Duck and for good reason. Yeah people see him and they immediately think God I wish I could beat that vile beast to death. I would like to transport this creature to hell via lead pipe. Have we ever put a C3bo from Star Wars on the list? Oh no, have we ever put a C3bo on the list? Have to be so bifobicobic. A to a to a to to thobic. I I I I I I I I thobic. I thobic. I thobic. thobic. thobic. thobic. thobic. thobic. thobic. thobic. thiioboboboen thi. thi. thi. th th thi. thiol-s. thi. thi. th th th th th th th th thi. th th thi. th th th thi. Yeah, I th thi. Yeah, I thi, I th th th thi, I th th thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thoday. I'm putting him on C3pio on the list. That's how you're being so bifobic right now. Yeah, is he not a never rejected category? I wrote C3PO brackets not a hate crime. So I think I might have covered my ass there. I think it would be cool because you would get the noise of the lead on his metal coding and you would also get him. Yeah you get the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thin. thin. th. th. th. th. th. th. It's th. It's is th. Is tho. Is tho. Is tho. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. th. Is. th. th. th. It. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. So. the. the. the. the. So. So. Oh! Yeah, you get the pain of the person inside the suit. Anthony Daniels?

Anthony Daniels. This is quite unpleasant. Oh, I say. I wish this wasn't happening to me. Oh, that was my legs. I also want to add R2D2. Yeah, fair. Yeah, fair. but I respect your right to want to do it. Like wailing on a big empty trash can, you know.

I'm gonna add BB8. Okay. BB8 can get it. BB8 from Star Wars. You could get it. You could get that fucker a long way. Yeah, similar thing. Similar thing. I think you would make a great sound.

I'm going to add yaddle on my list and I thought about it. So Yaddle, if you remember folks, is the Lady Yoda from the Star Wars prequels. It's basically Yoda with a wig. Yeah. Yoda with a wig. You know if she got that Yusy. I wish you hadn't. Can I, while we're on Star Wars characters can I, can I she got that Yusie. I wish you hadn't. While we're on Star Wars characters, can I, can I power through just a quickfire the 10 Star Wars ones I had just while we're here? Go for it. The bounty hunter, Dengar, he's already covered in bandages and I think it would be quite funny to beat him up.

The blue alien pianist Max Rebo. I was just, I was just, I was already already already about Max Rehob, that was my first thought. Imagine breaking his fingers. No more space-Ingo for you. No more jaunty little tunes. Joe Yalder, the horrible beast that sings in the Max Rebo band that was only added in the Special Edition. That makes me so mad when you watch the prequels and George Lucas says no. The definitive edition is when I put a, I guess like a soul band in there.

I don't even know what you'd call them. It's really important. I think it's really important that we focus on this. No, they're not a jiz band. They're no jiz band. That's in the episode four. Yeah, that's different. Yeah. I think any time in the history of the world that George Lucas has tried to pay any form of tribute or respect to the black community, I think it's sort of a clarinet player that's also in that same band, droopy

McCool. God, they should, like, is that the name? I know a bunch of the new Star Wars stuff is, I know a bunch of the new Star Wars stuff is bad, but they were right to take it off him. Yeah. Droopy, droop. Droopy McCool. He's not having a good time either. They shouldn't have called him that.

They should. The giant cricket that is in Moss Isley Cantina. You know he would squish. She, she would squish. Oh, my apologies. Yarel Puff, not a hate crime. He is the Jedi with an extraordinarily long neck who is on the council, I think in episode one. For the same reasons, I think it would be very satisfying to lead pipe,

one of the Caminoans from the planet Camino, the that all inexplicably have Kiwi accents. Sabolba, that guy deserves it hundred percent cheats dirty bastard and lastly bib fortuna don't like his teeth yeah a hundred percent don't like his teeth I do not enjoy a bit for tuna's teeth interesting it's got very poity shark like teeth I'm sorry I don't like dripping the cool. Trippy McCool looks like you've slided, slided, you've slid the extruder

setting on a character builder so he started human you just puffed him out. Like one of the bodies in the body exhibit. Yeah like a body farm. Like a body farm like he's been out for 60 days. Yeah he's been in a body farm. He looks like if you hit him with a lead pipe, he would burst and a bunch of like the sort of goop that is inside a spider would come out. Like, you know when you're playing like a like a game with zombies in it or whatever and you know that if you hit one of them they'll explode and unleash a noxious gas on you? Yeah, that's him. Yeah, that's it. Yeah, you'd do that's that's that's that's that's that. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's a that's a that's a that. that. that's a that's a that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that's that's that's that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the the th. th. the th. th. the. th. the. th. th. the th. the the. I hate that guy. That concludes my Star Wars list, Andrew, if you wanted to continue with yours. Well, are we just getting them all out of the way? Should we... Oh, I mean, we can take a break.

I've got a little short story here that we could go into. Okay. Okay. I think it might be time for... Uh-oh. Yep, that's what that pause was. Time for, grudge watch. Now this is a story from S.F.gate. Subway store in Oakland keeps getting targeted with graffiti.

Oh no. Yeah, not very exciting yet, but bear with me. It's been a tough few weeks for the Oakland Subway Store at 6,341 Shattuck Avenue. Americans love doing that, don't they? Make another street, come on. Where do you live? I'm at 10,005, whatever street. Shut up. Me, I'm at 2,500,000.

It's frankly ridiculous. Roast it, and I live in Crete, Nebraska. It's pronounced Credi there, actually, I think. Manager Pete Singh said the store has dealt with back-to-back graffiti since last month. He said he's felt demoralized after the vandalism began to ramp up more recently. On Friday night, neighboring business, Nick's Pizza posted a photo on its Instagram stories with the most recent vandalism to the subway location, which is just across the street. In the post, Nick Yapper Cox, owner of Nick's Pizza, shared his disappointment

after witnessing countless graffiti incidents on his neighbor's storefront and included a photo of the defaced building that read, fuck your turkey sub. How mad can you be? Come on. It's so good. I was like, how funny can this graffiti bank? You know what? It's not aggressive. It's not particularly profane.

It's just standing in opinion, fuck your turkey sub. Maybe you should try serving better turkey subs to people, you know? They don't get into the details of what the other graffiti has been, but if this person's just been spraying, fuck your turkey sub way and they're watching them spray it off and they're doing it again. So good. Do you guys see that thing the other day? Shared a thing from like this bot that randomly tweets shit from fucking,

but today I learned subreddic because that's where I get all my facts from. But that in America, that's the only way I learn. In America, the three meats that are on the like, fucking Italian BMT or whatever the fuck it's called at Subway, which is like ham, salami and pepperoni, all three of them are 100% made from Turkey. I love the BMT. Is that real? Did you research this? It's linked through the website and I clicked on it.

They are 100% Turkey. In Australia, how can the feet? true they are a hundred percent turkey in Australia they are not yeah okay what do you if I say ham to you let's do some word association ham ham ham ham honey ham is the word you associate with ham it's made of ham oh you got some of that hundred percent ham ham ham ham ham oh no we've got zero percent ham it's all I'm interested in oh I got some of that new ham-free ham. Who the fuck is like, ooh, turkey salami. My favorite.

Hey, they got turkey bacon. They can do anything with science nowadays. Turkey pepperoni? It's crazy. America's a world gone topsy-turvy. It's so nice. How do you get turkey ham to look like ham? Well, they have turkey bacon. They do. It tastes quite different.

It doesn't taste like bacon. Just call it a different thing. It's not the same thing, yeah. Call it turkey strips. Yeah. So my turkey strips and eggs and eggs. My preferred stupe strips and eggs. the Italian like parmesan bread, whatever that one is? Italian herbs and cheese, yeah. Thank you. Yep, very fast off the market everybody.

BMT, double meat, marinares sauce, pickles, red onion, cheese. I get them to grill it, and then I'm out. Throwing some olives on that bad boy? No. Okay. I'll probably go without the red onion because it makes my breath shocken, but. Oh, I'm with you. I'm with you. Yeah.

If I don't go to subway for long enough, I forget what the options are and then I get too intimidated to go there. I can't go back. They'll be like, what sort of cheese do you want? I'll be like, normal. Oh, I don't know. Regular. My answer is easy. The yellowest cheese, please. What's the orange cheese you have here? Yeah, all of them. Yeah, I did that last time I went there. I forgot what cheeses were.

And then I said Swiss, because can identify that one. Can I have that one? Can we just take a quick moment to shout out another donation? Please thank you very much to Mr. Pushing Come into the Drain with his foot. For your... Is there a Mrs. Pushing Come into the Drain with his foot? And also we have crossed the $10,000 dollar threshold. No, we haven't. That's ridiculous. We are now at $10,186 dollars.00. A the donation. A th donation. to th donation. to the donation. to to to the donation. to to to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. to to to to to to th. th. th. th donation. Please th donation. tho. Please, please tho. Please tho. Please tholon, please thol donation. Please thol donation. Please thol donation. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Pleasethreshold. No, we haven't. That's ridiculous. We are now at $10,186 of our, I guess, very arbitrary $10,000 goal. It's going to take us so long to sort of just like finger all that money. Yeah. Rub it in our little paws. I'm going to have to put each coin into my mouth and swish it around. It's not it's all going to the charities by the way but we will be

touching it beforehand. Yeah they will get all of the money. Yeah we take it out we touch it. We take it out for touching and then we pass it on to the charity. Going into the back just like oh no this is just like this is just th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th is just going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going th. th. th. to to to to to to to th. to tho. thi. thi. to thi. thi. thi. to to to to be just going to be just going going going going going going going going the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their it their it their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be just to be to be just to be to be to be to be just to toooooooooooooooo. th Yeah. I can do it right that if you like while you pop it off your shirt. I'm just gonna roll around it a little bit. Should we maybe because now we have to do I think 200 lead in pipes? Lucy do you have some lead in pipes you'd like to provide us with? Can be honest I didn't have that many? I was thinking in places... You didn't have 200? I didn't have 200. I've already done Crazy John.

I was thinking of retail stores. Just places that I would like to take a lead pipe to. The first is obviously the aisles of a chemist's warehouse. Of course. Oh, yeah. Oh yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, the the perfume aisle though, are you holding back or you

you let that stink? I didn't blind you I reckon. It'd be so flammable in there. But that'd be so fun because they keep them behind, they keep them behind their locked screen and it's like you're keeping you, you're keeping your 50-dollar fucking David Beckham perfume, whape, who do you think you are? What about like the, a their, a a their, a their, a their, a their, a their, a their, a their, a their, their, their, their, their, their, th. threathea, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thi, thin, thin, thin, be so thin, be so tho, be so tho, be so tho, be so tho, be so tho, be so tho, be so tho, be so tho, be so tho, be so tho, be so tho, be so thi, be so thi, be so thi, be so thi, be so thi, be so thin, be some, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thi's thi, thtable that's always at the front with a ton of like the really shit celebrity perfumes where they had a sign saying double overhead strike on that? It was $150 now it's only $19 and you're like, really? Really? Really?

Really? You know it's bad because they're not worried about you stealing it. It's right near the front. It's not locked. They don't care if you steal Ariana Grande perfume. It's cheaper than clean water at this point. Only $19 for Paris Hilton's Rohypnoll. Oh. What else have I got here? All the fucked up shit inside the pancake parlor. That guy that's like shoveling boats full of balloons

into his mouth, I hope he fucking dies. What the fuck are you talking about? I have no idea. I'm a drift at sea here. When's the last time you were in a pancake pail, Lucy? Oh, I guess when I was in Melbourne? Do you guys, so in Sydney, I think it's pancakes on the rocks. Do you have a different name for the pancake parlor? Which is this weird pancake thing where every all the pancakes cost $25 and there's

weird jaunty little characters on the roof? Do you know how crazy you sound right now? You sound fucking psycho. You sound deranged. There is a pancake parlor in camera. I'm going to have you locked up like Bell's dad in Beauty and the Beast. I'm defending Lucy here because I know what she's talking about. Have you been, you've been to the pancake parlor. I have probably been to you. Where would you go for $25 pancakes? Yeah, where else? Where else you're gonna go?

It's never come up? This has never come up? Let's have a little, let's see. Okay, so I'm just going to read to read to read to read to read to read to read to read to read to read to read to read to read to read to read to read to read to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to. to to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. the. the. th. th. the. the. to. the. the. to. the.a.a. to............... to. to. to. to. to. just gonna read to you from the Pancake Parlor menu here, pancake parlor.com. A.u. This is the pancake stacks menu. So let's say you're not fucking around, right? You're in there to get pancaked up. You want to be full of pancakes about time you leave. Pancake stack menu served with maple flavored syrup, fuck you. And your choice of whipped butter, cream, or ice cream. Keep in mind that they are not giving you actual maple syrup when I tell you the prices.

Okay. Short stack. Two pancakes with a choice of whipped butter, cream, vanilla or chocolate ice cream, topped with maple flavored syrup, $15.90. Fuck off. That's a bargain there. That's the cheapest thing of the menu. Two pancakes.

Billy Baxter is rolling in his grave. Two pancakes. One scoop of ice cream, $16. A regular stack. Three pancakes. You guys heard of the prices a pancake fowl lately? Tell your dad about Buntavista. He's going to love it right now.

Three pancakes. Three pancakes. I gave them my life savings. Everybody kept the change, did you, mate? $20 for three pancakes. That's insaneity. That's about $7 a pancake. It's simply far too much.

If you, I could make those at home for a 20th at the price. You can. You can just make your own pancakes, but then you won't get the jaunty little characters around the ceiling. That is true. What else you got, Lucy? What else have I got? Uh, any of the staff at General Pants. Oh, now I feel conflicted because you know, it's a bit personal, yeah. Because you might know one. But Christ alive, yes.

Yeah. Kidday, mate. Can I help you with anything there? You got much on for the weekend? Much on for the weekend? Too much so? Yeah, bit loose, hey, nice. Ha ha. Sick one. Yeah, having a few beers, maybe a few codes. Yeah, it needs near nice pair pants, yeah.

Gotcha. Yeah, the two things I hate most are the prices at pancake restaurants and young people I have 80 years off I hate confidence in service people Pancake should be three for a nickel. Do you need a help in there? Oh no, I can chop for myself and also I'll get my dick unstuck from this zipper solo. I don't watch me coming in here. Please don't speak to me and then I just have lining up the blenders at a boost juice and just going hands. I? I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. I have. I have. I have. I have. I have. I have. I have. I have. I have. I have. I have. I have. I have. I have. I have. I have. I have. I have. I have. I have. I have. I have. I have. I have. I have. I have. I have. I have. I have. I have. I have. I have. I have. I have. I have. I have. I have. I have. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. to. the. to. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. I have. I have. I have. I have. I have. I have. the zipper solo. I don't watch me coming in here. Please don't speak to me. And then I just have lining up the blenders at a boost juice and just going ham. Oh man, I want to destroy the u-e-boom at a boost juice. So bad. Oh, that'd be great. Just really bring down the vibe. Yeah. Did you know Xavier Rudd has more tracks than just the singles? Check out boost juice. I haven't really updated my my my my my the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thine thine thine thine thi thi thi thus thus thus thus thus thus blend thus blend thus blend thus. I just thus. I just thus. I just thus. I just thine thine thine thine thine thine thine thine thine th. I just th. I just th. I just th. I just th. I just th. I just th is th is just th is just th is just thi thi thi thi thin thin thin thin thin thin thin the the thin thin thin the thin thin thin the thin the thin the thin thin the th more tracks than just the singles? Check out Boost Juice. I haven't really updated my like my opinions about a Boost Juice in the last 10 years,

but I'm pretty sure they're still playing LMFAO, like just at the loudest volume you can imagine. Just extremely loud. Just hammering down on that blender just, just making sure that you know that they're working hard. They've got so many blenders. They've got like 10 on the go and they're cleaning 30. Like, fuck, that's so many blenders. Sometimes are you standing there at Boost Juice and you're looking at all the blenders lined up and the contents are all different colors and you're thinking, what's in there?

What is in there? It's so mysterious. I would tha tha thusususususususus. Okay. Okay. tha tha tha tha thozy thozy. thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thoom. thoom. thoom. th. thi. It's like thi. It's like thoom. It's like thoen on thoen on thoom. They's like thoen on thoen on thoen on thoen on tho. They's like tho. They's like th. They's like th. They's like th. It's like th. It's like th. It's like th. It's like th. It's like thi. It's like thi. It's like thi. It's like thi. It's like thi. It's like thi. It's like thea. It's like thea. It's like thea. It's like thea. It's like theananananananananananananann' thi. It's like thi. It's like there? What is in there? It's so mysterious. I would describe that as... A mystery liquid. Mystery liquid. Can't tell what color it is with a slick oily sheen. What could it mean? Mystery liquid? I see some goup that is forming a pool on the floor. Who is it for? I'm gonna taste

the mystery liquid. I'm gonna taste the mystery liquid. Beautiful. Truly, it's good. Thank you. This comes to us from KCBS News in California. This comes to us from... This is of course. Oh. Oh, no please, by all means. This comes to us from KCBS News in California. Three employees sickened by unknown liquid substance, leaking from baggage they were unloading at John Wayne Airport. What are you fucking doing out there? Americans be having a John Wayne airport. God damn, seriously. Three employees became sickened Friday.

That to me, that is a, that's quite a way to phrase it. Three employees became sickened. Were they sick or did they just that is a, that's quite a way to phrase it. Three employees became sickened. Were they sick or did they just think it was gross? They were outraged. Yeah. They became sickened after being exposed to something leaking from from baggage they were unloading from a jet at John Wayne Airport in Orange County, fucking seriously. Yeah. God damn it. Firefighters were called to the airport at 1225 p.m. after three American Airlines employees reported a quote, unknown liquid substance that was leaking from the cargo,

and quote, airport spokesman Marissa Unvert said. Three boxes next to an American Airlines jet were spotted by Sky 9, stacked next to a wing. At least one of these boxes appeared to be leaking. Yeah, we got up in the helicopter. We pretty sold some drips. We zoomed in as far as we possibly could from the helicopter. Firefighters were on the scene working to determine what the substance is.

The three employees were evaluated by paramedic, Sunver said, none of the employees needed to be taken to the hospital, according to the Orange County Fire Authority. Everyone involved described it as fucking gross. Yeah. It was quote, grody as hell. Little editorializing then. So do we find out what it was? No, truly a mysterious liquid.

If it was an identified liquid, I wouldn't have brought it up. It wouldn't have gone into the notes. It was just like somebody posting their dog that died a week ago to a taxidermist that like sat on the hot runway for a while. I think it was unactivated flubber. Like it was flubber in its liquid state before you apply the electric current that makes it cohes. But do you think that would make you feel sick and want to people?

Oh, the flubber is highly toxic. I think flubber is toxic. Yeah. Everyone that's ever lived with a flubber has died within seven years from one of several very bad cancers. It's mostly seizing 137. That's where the green comes from. Oh boy. So how are we going here? I realize that we've been going for a little while now. We've been going for... I reckon we can do a little bit more. For an hour in the shot. A little bit more. Yeah, well, you know, you've got to give some time for a few more donations to roll in, you know? I think we certainly do. The good ones come towards the end. That's what I've always

found. That's right. Someone out there is like, oh, I got a thousand dollars burn in a hole in my pocket. What am I going to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to get their their their their tho tho tho tho their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. You th. You th. You tho. You're going tho. You're going to get to get tooooo. toooo. You're going going. You're going going. You're going to go go go. You're going tho. You're going tho. You're going th. You're going to be like, oh, hey. Someone's been edging with their finger over that button. Yeah. I think I might... Wouldn't it be disgusting if I donated this thousand dollars? Wouldn't it be so pathetic? I think, because at the moment we're sitting at $10,300 out of $10,000, and I reckon people are desperate to hear the rest of these lead pipes. They are desperate to hear their own lead pipes read out on a live podcast stream. Yeah. So I think we should probably put it at a cheeky 15 grant and provide as much content as we can until we get to that point.

Because goodness gracious I would like to give each of these organizations a clean $5,000 each that would make me so very happy. Oh, wouldn't that be sweet? I think further now we should maybe launch back into some more lead pipes. Allow me to... You know what, we should. You're right. Let me give you some listener lead pipes. Now, correct me if I'm saying this name wrong. This is from Melbourne City Councilor Rowan Leppert. I think that's how that's pronounced.

He's sent in one submission, Baldy parked e-scooters. Yes. In a fall of email, he corrected the typo to badly parked e-scooters. Unfortunately, we can only read one email per listener. We, he corrected the typo to badly parked e-scooters. Unfortunately, we can only read one email per listener. We will be addressing the boldly parked. I was thinking about this when you talked about a robot making a sad noise. So when you kick over those e-scooters, they do, they make a sad beeping because they want

to be picked up. And they have to call somebody kicked up and their the want to be picked up and then they have to call somebody to come and pick them up because somebody kicked them over. Pick me up Scooter Daddy please. I've been moved yeah you've been moved to my garage running these and board cutters to save your electronics and then get rid of your theft protection and then I'm flipping you on the black market bitch just kick one over though it's free you can do it. You're not gonna get in a a a a a the the the the the the the the their their. their. their. the the the the their. the the the the the the their. the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. they're they're they're th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm the. I's the. I's their the. I's their their. I's their. I's their. I's their. I's their. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I'm th. I'm the. I'm theat. I'm theat. teat. I'm teat. I'm teat. I'm teat. I'm teat. I're not going to get in trouble for it and it feels great. It's going to stop you. They're outside. They're yours. You own them. I was out having a date with my wife.

And... I don't know why you... Okay. And... People hate it when you express that you're in a happy relationship and experiencing romance. We were sitting at a bar, having a drink before we went for dinner. And dinner was nice if anyone's interested. So we're sitting there and like at a bar looking out of the street. And you ever see like some gig economy inception I saw like a guy pull up in a rented van so like with the with the logo on the side of the of the place that you can rent it from for short periods which he then was then getting out of and going around

and picking up all the scooters and lining them all back up along the pavement. I saw the same thing the other day. He's in a rented rental company van. He's renting this van to do that job. Yeah, I see a lot of that. Yeah, and something about that was supremely depressing to me. That's not good. It sort of makes me go either, hey, company that owns all the fucking scooters either just employ someone to do it. Couldn't help the feeling that they were basically like you know hiring a guy off Fiver who is then

renting a van from a rental service to go around and pick up all of the scooters that you pay by the minute for. And I did not I did not care for it. Fuck him. Kick him over. This is a submission from listener at Lissa. The OG Bananas and Pajamas. So not the C.G.I. the today's the today. the today people in costumes.

Wow. I'd hit Morgan the teddy bear. I'd hit Morgan. Morgan the teddy bear? I'd hit the rat. Fuck that guy. Yeah, the rat needs to die. Well, that's because you have an inherent sense of justice. And that rat's a conniving fucking piece of shit. He is. He's a fucking piece of shit.

He is. Only cares about himself, you know. It's just, it's unbelievable the way he bathes. That's always gaslighting people. He is. Let me put it to you. What's his name? Do anyone know the name? Rat, is he just called Rat? Rattie? I want to say rat.

No. I thought his name was just rat. Mr. Rat, like wind in the willows. OK. Roger the rat. I put it to you that Mr. Rat is a dog cunt. Yes. It's ironic because he's a rat. He has no positives. Yeah, no redeeming qualities.

It wouldn't spit on you if you're on fire. This is from listener Dominic. I want to hit a bith in the head so fucking bad. You know, the alien freaks from Star Wars with the awful bulbous heads who play a form of music canonically called jizz in the canteen scene. I want to know how it feels to hit those jizz wailing fucks on the top of their horrible noggins until they burst like overripe watermelons. I want to know what the insides of their heads are like. Are they soft and squishy or do they they they they they they they they they they they they they they have they have they have they have they have they have they have they have a they have a they have a they have a their their their their their their their their their their their the. their the. thozy. thozy. thozy. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. th. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. I the. I the. I the. I the. I don't know which would be more satisfying, but I need to find out, in conclusion, Buntabithta. I wonder what it would smell like when you squish one of their heads and their black eyes

burst and all the eye core comes out, you know? You know it's no crazy in there. Over by the rock one. over by rock and o'clock. This next submission is from listeners, Cynthia, two wonderful submissions that I don't know if we've actually covered these before and up, but I feel like we should have. The Home Timber and Hardware Dogs? Oh yeah, they should be put down. Yeah, they go.

Like the claymation dogs? Yeah, they're claymation. If you're not a one, one of them is called Rusty. I don't know the dogs of the home timber and hardware, sorry, I don't know the names of the home timber and hardware dogs because I'm not crazy. They have they have an adversarial relationship that I would liken to Tim and Al from home improvement, you know. Yeah, yeah, I think. Or the, or the, or the, or the, or the, or the, or their their their their their their their their their their they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're they're, they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they. they're th. the. theeeee. They're theee. They're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they? Yeah, I think... Or the two beavers from... The intellectually diminished one and the other is normal. Yeah. It's the relationship I believe that.

Yeah. Uh, Cynthia has also put forth healthy Harold. Tell me to eat one more vegetable cunt, see what happens to you. That'd be great. I'm coming into your van motherfucker. Hell yeah. You'd be going to town on a little kid's arm. It's a grown adult arm. No they get the kids to do it too. Do they? Yeah. That will ruin the magic of healthy arrell. They do. Why can't they come to your van with something exciting, like guns? I wonder why they do it. You guys want to shoot some guns in here?

Yes! Finally. The school porn van. Although they've done that. They've done that and everybody got very mad when the ADF like kids where kids can come and hold machine guns and look down the sites and everyone's like, you're brainwashing gun children. I'm talking about unaffiliated guns. It's just a guy.

His name's Trevor. He has a box trailer full of weaponry. Some of it ancient, some of it new. Just a guy in a van let me hold some guns. You know the teacher's pick of sharpest students get to throw a grenade? Yeah, dumbest kids only get morning stars. It's sort of nothing with moving parts. Uh, 11,231 dollars. Oh, goodness gracious. That's no sense.

Bless you all. This is from, listen to Justin, who contacted us earlier because we were, well I believe it might be the same person unless we have two different people that are doing a PhD on like app scooters and bikes, but I believe it was this Justin who contacted us to say that he endorsed out, you should just throw them into the river if you see them take. Justin who contacted us to say that he endorsed our, you should just throw them into the river if you see them take. Justin says, I submit my PhD on shared micro-mobility in a couple of months, and while being able to talk about the e-scooters and how they suck, but maybe one day they could actually provide some decent contributions to the urban transport, keeps me in a job, it will be really fucking cathartic to go.. to go, to go, the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to to to thi, thi, thi. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. th. Just, th. Just, th. Just, th. Just, th. Just, th. Just, th. Just, th. Justin, th. Justin, th. Justin, th. Justin, the, the, the. Justin, the. Justin, the. Justin, the. Justin, the. Justin, the. Justin, toooo. Justin, too. Justin, toe. Justin,er with a lead pipe. So that's a, he's in Cahooch the Rowan there.

Some spirit behind it. We all agree. This one is from listener Brenton. Come on. I'm not, I don't, I could be, I don't know. I simply I read what I can see. Dickie knee is crying out for a piping. Go at him from the audience. He'd never see it coming. Yeah. That's that's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their their their their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their. their. their. their. their out for a piping. Go at him from the audience. He'd never see it coming. Yeah. No, that's true. And like I feel like that would be a real tufo because you would get to hit Dickey knee and you would get to crush all of the bones in the hand that wields him.

The guy in Dickene. Yeah. Is the puppets here in the pay for two guys? You're going to pay for two different guys? In this economy? In the economy of the 90s? Yeah. The economy in the 90s, you could absolutely pay for two guys. Oh, that's true. Back when Australia had arts funding. You could pay for one guy to operate Ozzy the ostr whole different guy for the voice. You could pay for Mike Whitney and Tanya.

You know? You got one guy whose job it is to get blow for Darryl Summers. One guy just grew in the light bulb. Yep. This is from listener Zuri. I hope I'm pronouncing that correctly. The Jimmy's Egg mascot. Jimmy's Egg mascot. Jimmy's egg mascot. Now Egg. Jimmy's Egg. The Jimmy's Egg.

Now I've googled this. Jimmy or the egg? Jimmy's Egg. That's right. That is the name of the company. It is the single egg. One egg. Sort of a Ruth's Chris situation. Who was it that had someone get mad at them the other day on Twitter because they made fun of the name Ruth's Chris? That was me. Was it you? Yeah. I said, uh, I said, you can't call it, you can't call a restaurant Ruth Chris. That's fucking insane. So you're gonna tell a woman what to name of Chris?

You're gonna tell a, you gotta tell a girl boss what she can't do? You can't tell them what she can't do? I don't like the egg. I'm hitting the egg. But the restaurant sounds great. What's going on in Jimmy's Egg? I thought it was prepackaged foods. Oh, I completely misunderstood. I didn't realize it was a restaurant. Is it like an eggs joint? Is it like um... I'm looking at Jimmy's egg in Fayetteville?

You know what's fucked up? So Jimmy's egg, the mascot is wearing a chef traditional chef's hat has 100 folds, which as we all know, symbolizes the 100 different ways that a chef can prepare eggs. Yeah, okay. Do we understand that? As we all know, that's common knowledge. Okay. That's fucked up. That egg knows a hundred ways to kill his own kind.

Lucy, what is, what is going on in the Jimmy's egg restaurant? Well, I'm going to tell you th th to to to to to th to th to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the their their their that that that their their that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that that that that that that that that that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that that their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the theee.e.e.e.e.e.e. that that that that that that that the.e.e.e. is going on in the Jimmy's egg restaurant? Well I'm gonna tell you that at Jimmy's egg you can get the ultimate pancake combo which is a short stack of your favorite pancakes serve with two eggs crack to order two strips of bacon and one sausage patty for $10.29. Oh my god that is that's a fucking deal. Short stack at Jimmy's egg four dollars of food. That's a shit word of food. That's no $16.2 pancakes with a bit of whipped butter on it, motherfuckers. Oh, I can have the whipped butter or the maple-flavored syrup for my $16. God.

Look, I just want to backtrack here. I don't think you're fully grasping. This is like if they had a man man man man man is wearing a hat that said I can cook man a hundred different ways. And it was sort of his thing as well. This is fucked up bro. I love cooking people. I'm a man. Anyway these last two are from Jordan who says first a very very large mushroom like the size of a garden table, which is specific and abstract, but 100% correct. Yeah, it's so good.

Although, I'm going to swap out the lead pipe for a cricket bat in this circumstance. I feel like you need a little more scoop on that. That's your right. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe even like a squash or tennis racket would be quite good then. Oh, tennis racket to a mushroom. And I think when you hit it, it would definitely make a sound like a fwump. Yeah, it would. It'd be a good sound. His second proposal here is

the, he's put it in scarecoats, scarecoats. Licking. I'm wearing my scarecoats. That's right. Uh, the licking Pokemon, Licky. to to to to to to to th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. Ioats. I'm wearing my scarecoats. That's right. The licking Pokemon, Licky-licky. Now I think I might have already put Lick-a-tug on the list before. I'm about so familiar with the Pokemon. The pocket monster, Licky-licky. Oh, hey now. Oh, he's like lick-a tongue, but worse? Yeah, except what his tongue is not exposed.

That just looks like a fancy little fellow wearing a bib with a Wi-Fi symbol on his stomach. Their stomach I should say, I don't mean to, gender licky-licky. Licky-licky's girlfriend is happy, though. Yeah, not- not- It makes him look like a sex offender. Yeah. It's a little quiff, a little quiff on his head. Yeah, it looks like James Corden.

Yeah, he does. Now it's interesting to say that. I don't want to skip ahead. But someone submitted James Corden. It's a true doing ones that are just like murdering a person, but... Yeah. Fuck, James Corden. Yeah, no one's going to debate that one. And that man has the audacity to be straight.

Can I, can I, um, can I actually make it a little more specific than just James Corden? You can. You can. in a costume blocking your car from moving in traffic. Oh yeah, and he's sort of thrusting his pelvis at you? Yeah. And then you get to... A little one of those ones. You reach in the back seat, grab your trusty pipe.

Oh, can I add one that, this is a listener's submission by implication. They've not actually sent it to us, but this is from dear friend of the show, Travis, who just posted a screenshot of the Every Star Wars character Twitter account posting Ben Quaternaros, who is one of the pod races from episode one, who is basically just a giant face with some spaghetti arms, and he has got to go. That is a lead piping from me. Thank you, Travis, we love you. Uh, should we give another story a crack? It's legal. Perhaps, one that is a little ominous and a little portentous. It is, of course, Andrew. Time for, Andrew.

Omen's importance. You shall see hail fall from a clear sky and burn his fire upon the ground. You shall see darkness cover Egypt when the sun climbs high to noon. And you shall know that God is God and bow down to his will. I think the menu of Jimmy's Egg looks pretty good. No, looks around us. This episode brought to you by Jimmy's Egg. That's great, man. Oh, damn, I accidentally ate all of the sweet corn-flavored turtle ships

before I could do a bit to camera about the sponsor of the show of turtle chips. But unfortunately, wife of the show, my wife Helena, cracked the bag early this evening and then I walked in the room and she was like, please take them away from me. And they were almost all gone. That's what happens when you crack open some turtle chips. I had some salted egg yolk chips this afternoon. I've had those. They're quite nice. So good. That's th, wonderful. That's th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thoom, that, that, that, thi thi, thi, thi, thi, that, that, that that that that, the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their, their, their, their that, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, that, togea, tuuia' turtle turtle turtle turtle turtle turtle turtle to thea, thea, thi, th I've had those, they're quite nice. So good, wonderful. They're pretty good. That was the chip endorsement section

of the podcast. This is a story from the press agency, UPI. Canadian couple's dog gives birth to rare green puppy. Huh? Yeah you heard me pal. And it's not even St. Patrick's Day. No, it shouldn't be doing that. It's a highly toxic dog. It's got flubbered disease. Flubbered dog. A Nova Scotia couple, whose three-year-old bulldog gave birth to a litter of eight puppies, said they immediately noticed something unusual about one of the newborns.

Her fur was dyed green. Yeah, congratulations for noticing that that. That that. That that. That that. That that. That that. That that. That that. It that. It is that. It is that. It's that. It's that. It's that. It's that. It's that. It's that. It's that. It's a that. It's a that. It's a that's that. It's a highly that. It's a highly that. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's a that's a thii-a. It's a thi-I. It's a highly thiiiiiiiiiiiiole. It's a highly toe. It's a highly toxic. It's a highly toxic-s. It's a about one of the newborns. Her fur was dyed green. Yeah, congratulations for noticing that. I mean, I don't know if they were waiting for you to praise them. We saw it pretty much straight away. I'm actually an impath. I noticed that my dog was green puppy. Our dog gave birth to a green puppy and only 72 hours later we were all over it. Trevor and Audra Mosher of Middle Sackville.

Hobbentown asked that. It's the last part of my body I clean when I'm having a shower, said they thought that their dog, Freya, was finished after delivering her first seven puppies. But while they were cleaning the canine mother, she started to go into labor again. Hey, a little bit of foreshadowing, but I really don't like this next sentence. Freya delivered an eighth puppy, this time encased in a black sack, contrasting with the translucent sacks of its older siblings. It's a little bit demonic, you know? I've been watching a... This is the hound of the apocalypse.

This is fucked up. I mean, that was how Finn was born. Oh, came out in a shit. Oh, it sounds frightening. He was born on call, it was in a little sack. On call? On call, ENCAUL. Yeah, that's right. But the sack wasn't like, the sack wasn't like jet black and didn't show any kind of reflection

and just seemed to capture all the light the room. No, no, he didn't come out in a perfect onyx sphere. Yeah. Sort of like repelled or electro the showback fields etc. That smell the rug nakes. Just a regular blood pouch. That's fucking disgusting. Congratulations on the birth of your beautiful son.

The couple said they initially feared the puppy was still born, but they rushed to clean the newborn canine when she started to move. wea to dry her off and notice she was green and immediately again thought that there was something wrong. Oh, we noticed she was green. Congratulations. Hey, are they usually like this or? So we googled it. My puppy is green. What's wrong? And apparently it's very rare and has happened a few times all over the world. Trevor Mosha told Golden News, global news I should say. Before times of great change. It feels potentious right? Especially the like... Seven coming out and then being like we're

done. Yeah and then an eighth. Yep and then Russia invades Ukraine. Yeah I wouldn't Google that. Like I'd be calling the priest right away. Yeah immediately burning the dog. Yeah just a real quick like you know no one needs to really talk about it. Like you know not, that the thi, like, like, like, like, like, like I th, like I th, like, like I th, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, I I I I I I'd to to the the the the the the, I'd their, I'd their, like, I'd their, like, I'd their, like, I'd their, I'd the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the the the their, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like. Immediately burning the dog. Yeah, just a real quick like, you know, no one needs to really talk about it, you know, we all know, we all know, right? Just the real, dog had seven puppies. I've, um, this happened on February 28th, which was like the first day of the Brisbane Fluts. Oh, see? Yeah. That's an omen. I've been, I've been watching all of the first day of the Brisbane floods. Oh, see? Yeah. That's an omen. I've been watching all of the movies from the Omen series. I've been making my way through.

Well, that's the good one. Although, is it- I think it's the third one has like Sam Neal as Damian? Oh, okay. It's pretty fun. But there, I just want to say, there are so many opportunities in that movie for someone to shoot Damien with a gun. You know?

And they just simply don't. People are very keen in those movies on like trying to warn somebody about like the antichrist, and how he's gonna destroy the world and how you have to realize you have you that you're in danger. And it's like, you just need one brave soul with like, You just gotta do it. One brave soul with a magnum to come up and say, oh what's that? And point over Damien's shoulder and then boom, just dome that kid, you know. Blow, and that's it. And then at your trial, you can be, uh, has the world ended? I guess it worked.

And judges love that. Yeah, this rock definitely keeps tigers away. That's right. Uh, we probably need to dive back into some lead pipes at this point. I might read out some more of my own if that's okay with you. Okay, I will allow it. I would like to destroy one of the kinetic sculptures from the Dutch artist Theo Janssen. Are you familiar with those? He makes the very, very large wooden sculptures that he puts on beaches and the wind makes the walk. Yeah. Just imagine fucking busting the shit out of that thing with a lead pipe. Yeah. My goodness. Never be the same again. No, because it would be the same again from the sheer ecstatic joy of doing it. No, I mean the machine because it'd be busted to shit. Yeah, I think Theo Jansen would also never be the same again because he'd be quite upset. Yeah, like crying like a huge nerd. Yeah. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I the the the the the the th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'd be busted th. I'd be bus. I'd be b th. I'd be bu bu bu th. I'd be bu bu the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'd be bu bu bu bu bu bu bu bu bu bu bu bu. I'd be bu. I'd be bu. I'd be b. I'd be b. Yeah. I th. I'd be b. Yeah. I'd be th. I'd be th. I'd be b. Yeah. I'd be b. I'd be b. I'd be bu. I'd be bu th. I'd be bu th. I'd be bu th. I'd be bu th. I'd be bu th. I'd be bu th. I'd be bu th. Yeah. I'd be bu th. I'd be bu th. Yeah. would also never be the same again because he'd be quite upset. Yeah, like crying like a huge nerd. Yeah.

So I think one of those would be very satisfying. You have destroyed my sandwager. He would weep. Yeah, probably like those lights. Dotchley. I would, and I don't know if I'm pronouncing this correctly, but I would very much like to take a lead pipe to the 18th century Chinese Imperial Yangtai revolving Phoenix vase that sold for approximately $57 million at auction last year. As the single most expensive ceramic ever sold in a private sale.

And I just want to get, I just want to get this straight you can't play games on it That's right. Yes, you cannot It's entirely analog. It does revolve though pretty cool. Does it by itself or like you need a little stand to put it on? You need to rotate it yourself. Do they include the same? Well, I mean by that metric all phases are revolving phases. I think it has a rotating element to it in that part of it swivels while the other part stays still. Okay. Sort of like a lazy suit.

Like a toilet roll holder. Yeah. Or a lazy Susan? I've got one. A lazy Susan? No, the tool tool tool tool tool toy toy toy to to to to toilet. to toilet. toil toilet. toilet. toilet. toilet. toilet. toilet. toilet. toilet. toilet. toilet. the toilet. toilet. thi. the the the the the th. th. th. th. the the the the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. the thi. thi. the thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, that's how the 1% lives. The Statue of David. Wow, which bit? You're cracking that little dick straight off.

I can't just knock on that little dick cleaner. It can't have a dick still, right? I don't know if the dick's long enough to be able to just cleanly knock the end off. I don't know if that's possible. It's pretty, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, the thely knock the end off it. I don't know if that's possible. It's pretty small hey. You have to, oh yeah it's small. Yeah yeah yeah it's like way small than a normal kind dick. Yeah that's like way smaller than a normal kind thing. Yeah that's every time I look at it I'm just like oh poor day it looks like big feet down here but it's like wow that's every time I look at it. I'm just like, oh, poor day. It looks like a try to rim down here, but it's like, wow, that penis is so. Looking around at everybody else's response.

Smook? I'm loving the idea of someone who thinks that's what you have to do in a gallery when you see a penis is to be like, yeah, that's about the same. Yeah, compared to mine, that's absolutely smooth. Yeah. Oh boy. I would like to take a lead pipe to Sue, the world's most complete Tyrannosaurus rex skeleton, which Lucy, you might have seen this one. I don't know if you took the time, but it's at the Field in Chicago. Oh okay yes I think so. Although it doesn't have its real head on it the head sits separately too because it's it's too heavy to have the actual

actual head on the thing. I thought it's like a kind of like pieces of the pieces of the shroud of churrinthu and sort of situation where you don't want them all in the same place just in case of fire. Yeah, just, oh they activate Ragnarok by being assembled or something along those lines. I believe that, you know, the thing I saw recently, I believe that Dwayne the Rock Johnson has a real Tyrannosaurus rex skull. I think you're going to say a piece of the shroud of true. As a gym rag. Real little dick. Yeah, just like... Is that true? What, that he has a tear-rack skull?

No, I just made it up. The tea-rax skull, not the shroud of cheering by. Yes, he was doing a video, you know, one of his stupid videos where like he just comments on something that's currently in the public eye and says, damn brother, I respect you. I haven't seen it. Yeah, it's kind of his thing now is just coattailing and everything. And there was like a T-Rex skull on the dining table. And they were like, yeah, we think he has a real T-Rex skull in his house.

It's not a real T-Terex skull. It's a cast of Stan, it's a terex skull ever found by a paleontologist. Oh. Yeah, it's just a copy of it. That's a cool bit of interior decorating to have, just like a fake scale tearx head. That's pretty cool. Next up I have the secret vault of forbidden artifacts that's in the Vatican. Uh-huh.

All right. I think that would be a lot fun. You know they keep the really pipable stuff in there. Yeah, that's just for the Pope's pleasure. When the Pope's had a really bad day? I don't want to know about what the Vatican finds most pipable and keeps for the Pope's pleasure, okay? Oh. That is none of my business.

No. In a sort of sister entry into that one, the rest of Vatican City. All of it. Let me loose. I'm a wild bull in a China shop and that China shop is the smallest sovereign nation state in the world. I love Vatican City. It's beautiful. You love Vatican City? Big VC head?

Big VC head. I saw a painting there that's like green grass. Two of you have been to Vatican City? A fat little priest, that this stupid look at dog as well. I think it was sort of towards the end of it where they keep they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they keep they they keep they keep they keep they keep they keep they keep they keep they keep they keep they keep they keep they and then this stupid look at dog as well. I think it was sort of towards the end of it where they keep the the modern stuff and the dumb looking little dog. Towards the end of Vatican City? That's pretty small. Is it a low down the yeah. Is it spiral shape like dark city? Can I can I throw a few in there, Ben?

Yes, you certainly can. How about, uh, I would like to smash with the lead pipe, Dick dastardly from the TV show Wacky Races. Yeah, sure. I think he, I think he would complain very vocally the whole time, uh, but also his arms and legs are very spindly. I would like to go hogwild in a house completely filled with wicker furniture. Yeah, all right.

So, you know, that sounds nice. Yeah, imagine if you will though, that like it's not just wicker chairs like the dining table, the beds, everything. What if the whole house, you know, walls? Yeah. What if there's a man made of wicker, the wicker, the wicker, the wicker, the wicker, the wicker, the wicker, the wicker, the wicker, the wicker, the wicker, the wicker, the wicker, the whole house, you know, walls? Yeah. What if there's a man made of Wicca? Oh, one of the listener submissions was that they would like to beat up a Wicca man whether or not it has Edward Woodward or Nick Cage inside it? No. I couldn't do that to Edward Woodwood. He was just too sad at the end of that movie, you know. Yeah, but he was kind of a prick. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. thi. thi. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th is th is th is th is th is th is thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th is th. th is th is th. th is th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th is th. th is th is th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. the. the. theeeee. theeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. theeeee. thee. theee. the. the. too sad at the end of that movie. You know? Yeah, but he was kind of a prick. The whole movie's you kind of like, eh, is a cop. I don't really feel for you. Yeah, and he's acting like a cop.

People like, oh, lighten up. Everyone's fucking in the garden. Why don't you come have sex and he says, no. It's not Christian. I'm gonna be tortured by the beautiful the beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful the beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful sings, how do? If there's like 20 young naked ladies dancing around a maypole and they say, oh come and have an orgy! I'm doing the orgy. Roger me, Gaffda! Yeah, I don't have to like sternly put my hat back on, march into the pub and ask everyone what the deal is, you know? Yeah, let's do the orgy and ask some questions the questions the questions the questions the questions the questions the questions the the th questions th questions th of th of th of th of the th of th of th of, you know? Yeah, do- I'll arrest people for underage drinking. Yeah, let's do the orgy and ask some questions afterwards. That's all I'm saying.

Yeah. Fuck first, arrest everyone later. I'm investigating, I'll say. So you did see midsummer. What a wonderful film. I would like to smash one of those little battery operated Mercedes convertibles that rich people get for their kids to tool around it. Yeah.

I think that would feel good. My, one of my nephews has the Jeep version of one of those and I'm so fucking jealous. Never would have got one of those. Hey, they do make one big enough for you. It's called a Jeep. I can't afford one of those.. Yep. Well, someone's tho's tho's tho's tho's tho's tho's tho's tho's thii's tho's thi's tho's tho's tho, someone's tho, someone's tho, tho, tho, tho, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's. I that's. I that's. I that's that's. I that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's thi. I tho. I'll tho drive it 1999 A.U. Falcon. Yep. Well, someone's got to drive that. And I would like to smash up one of those big Mariottie bass guitars. Oh, that's good for. While a guy's playing it? While he's playing mariachi bass song.

If he is a prick or maybe he's playing like an LMFAO song. He's playing sexy and I know it and I just... You know? Another list of submission we had was for the the upright base specifically from the living end. Oh yeah. My first dollar, wonderful. The guy is... I didn't have to name it. I think we might have. Like... The guy is still standing up on it when said this before. I think we might have. The guy is still standing up on it when you hit it in the bottom, like kind of shatter the lower third of it. And then you're hitting him in his head and he's like so crisp from the product in his

air. Shattering his mohawk, yeah. Knocking it cleaner. Anybody go more? Oh yeah. No, I just want to get the rest of my fancy fine art ones out of the way here. Okay. Uh, the, correct me if I'm prancing this wrong, the Trevy Fountain in Rome. That one looks like it would be fragile as shit. Yeah, a lot of little breakables. Yeah, people would get real mad. It'd be fun. Yeah. But they'd have to wait across the water to get to me and that'd that. And that. And that. And that. that. that. that. th. th. th. th. I th. I th th th. I th th th. I the th. I'd be the to be to be to be to be to be to to to to to to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their their their. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I the th. I the. I'd the. I'd the. I'd the. I'd the. I'd just just. I'd just. I'd just. I'd just. I'd just. to just. I'd just. to just. to to to to to to to be fragile as shit. Yeah, a lot of little breakables then. Yeah, people would get real mad. It'd be fun. Yeah, but they'd have to wait across the water to get to me and that'd be a laugh and a half. Taking their phones out of their pockets.

Uh, at least a few dozen of the Terracotta warriors. Oh yeah, yeah, they're not like full-sized. Yeah, and they don't even walk around or anything. Yeah. Well, I mean, unless there's like a curse put on them by the ghost of Juicy Huangdi maybe. Quick question, were you led to the understanding like the fascination with the Terracotta soldiers following perhaps reading a Discworld novel? Did it go Discord novel and then you wanted to read about that? No, I was fascinated with them before that just because I was one of those kids that got all the like ancient history books out at the library and books about medieval

weaponry and tri-reams and shit of that nature. You were the one that had them all on hold. Yes, I was the one that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that had that had that had that had that had that had that had that had that had that had that had that had had had that had had had that had had that had that had that had that had that had that had that had that had that had that had that had that had that had that had that had that had that had that had that had that had that had that had that had that had that had that had that had that that that that that that that that that that that that that th. That the one the one that the one that the one that was the one that was the the the the the couldn't get out the DK books medieval arms and armor. I was the one that just kept repeating the repeatedly hiring that one out. Very rude. I've still got a big a big photo book of like samurai armor and stuff. That's like that's done for a million years. So cool. That's actually you see it in the flesh and you go, damn. How'd you guys do that? When I was in Japan, we went to this restaurant that was like,

sort of out in the middle of nowhere. It was like really, one of those really small ones where it's like four seats or whatever, and the people that ran it didn't speak, a word of English, the only word in Japanese I could reliably get out was thank you. But like the one moment of commonality we had was like the lady that ran the place saw me looking at a suit of samurai armor they had up on the wall and we did a look that is universal and means that's pretty fucking cool right? And I was like yeah. It's pretty fucking cool. That's great. I would like to take a lead pipe to the

Neolithic, Neolithic Amber Bear Amulet that was found in a Peatbog in Sloupsk, Poland. I think you might have seen this one? The gummy bear, yeah. If I can just go with that, I think that's the one that looks really photoshed, where it's just like a cave, the cave of the crystals in Chihuahua Mexico. I don't know if you've seen photos of that but it's the one that looks really photoshopped where it's just like a cave that is full of enormous crystals. And you just want to

you just want to put the safety glasses on. And probably earmuffs as well because I reckon the reverberation in there would be pretty punishing but God thatthat'd be fun. That'd be fun. I used to live with a drummer and I bought him like for Christmas or his birthday I have something, these headphones where they're like, you know, to whatever degree decibel resistant, but they also had like a headphone jack so that you could plug it in and it would almost completely deaden the sound of drums, but you could play music into it that you were playing along with at the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same theen the sound of drums, but you could play music into it that you were playing along with at the same time.

And so you could hear it and hear your own drums. I think you want to set of those, be piping in something good while you are going to town on those crystals. Protect the ears. I want to be listening to jizz-bber by faith no more while I am spinning around crazy style with a lead pipe. That's fair enough. Tiber, did you have some that you'd like to give us? Absolutely, I think while we're on the natural world, here are ten creatures from

the wildlands, dungeons and the caves that I would destroy with a lead pipe if I met the strength requirements. Cobolts if they're related to dragons to dragons to dragons to dragons to dragons to dragons to dragons to dragons the dragons the dragons to dragons the dragons to the dragons to the surrounding wildlands, dungeons and the caves, that I will destroy with a lead pipe if I met the strength requirements. Cobolts, if they're related to dragons and I'm the king of Ferrun, the disgusting trash shitheads who'd rather eat a can. They do natively speak draconian, certainly. Rather eat a can, parentheses empty than a nourishing ration. Hobgoblins, it's just goblin's putting on airs just because you to to to to the to to their to their to their their their their th. It's, their their their their their their their th. th. their th. th, th, th, th, th,, empty, then a nourishing ration. Hobgoblins? It's just goblins putting on air, just because you know how to dance. Doesn't mean you're not a goblin.

Let's see, Noles. They'd fuck a hole in the ground if as long as it smelled bad enough. Completely uncouth. You guys know, laid out the front, she's laughing because she knows. Oaks. She's laid out in the front, she's laughing because she knows. Awks. The drums are way too loud. Plus they're made with human skin. Magi.

Like we get, we get it, dude. You went to school. You're depressed because you have knowledge, which should have stayed sealed, along with the lost continent. Some of us have real problems. Gray ooze. Apparently I have to pack away all my shit, my raw iron ore, bolts of linen every night, unless I want disgusting, acidic pussy juice all over everything. What is your purpose?

Look me on ooze. Get real. Centaurs, they think they're slick, but they're really creepy and they're not just not cool. Like a, bro, come over here and ride me. Guess how many dicks I have, bro. Guess if it's a human dick or a horse dick or a horse dick? They're all the way it's saying that. I don't have time for this bullshit. I got both. I've got to close eight years before that for that for the tho. dick you know I'm not it's not in my business yeah my lifespan is like my

life span is like 40 turns I don't know hold on I want to see Lucy had something I feel like you got some knowledge here what is it no no I was just curious on your thoughts on Centaur Dix that's all I'm saying like I was I was out at a a cafe recently that's like up on top of this nice hill. It's called the Stepping Stone Cafe and it's run by a bunch of ladies from all these different backgrounds and stuff. It's it's very cool. And there's a couple of horses there so you can see like down to these fields and everything. And there's these two horses that just stand by the fence and they, you know, I'll go over every now and then give them a little handful of grass. And I took one of my kids over there and we were giving the horse a little pat and then one of their

dicks went, beep! Like horse dicks, dude. You know? Yeah, and you get that horse dick? Yeah, and you get that horse dick? that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. Yeah, and you get that's that's th. th. th, th, th, and you th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thick, thick, thick, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, t, t, t, t, t, took, took, took, took, took, took, took, took, took, took, took, took, took, took, took, took, th, magnitude bigger than a people dick is all I'm saying. So a centaur I'm picturing that it is that size But every other characteristic is that of a man's penis. You know? Yeah, no, that's what I was clarifying. That's fine. And like you didn't need to go into much more data. Oh, I just I just wanted to make sure we were both on the same page, you know, yep. Yeah, no, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's big. It's big. That's big. That's big. That's big. That's, that's, it's, that's big. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it. It's. that's. that's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's, that's. That's, that's, that's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's big. that's that's that's that's that's the that's the that's that's the that's that's that's that's that's that's the the that's fine. Like you didn't need to go into much more data. Oh, I just wanted to make sure we were both on the same page, you know? Yep, no, it's big, it's uncut. It's... Poor skin, it's got it all. Yeah, well are you going to circumcise him? You can't find anyone to come near him. No. All right. Let's let's, let's, let start a conversation with these weirdos.

They're all intactivists. Don't get started with them. Leachers, you know, like, ugh, not that I ever get near one, but if I wanted to talk to a miserable, rotting necromancer who could scream loud enough to cause psychic damage to all those who failed a role to block thetheir ears, I'd talk to my ex-wife. But fortunately she was killed by a hobgoblin. And finally, adventurers! Every time I see one of these daddy boys, they size me up to see if my five copper

pieces, rough leather tunic, rough leather hat, rough leather, baces, rough leather, boots and eight yams are worth the encumbrance. Save you some time, they're not. Humans know the price of everything and the value of nothing. It doesn't just make you think who the real monsters are? Who? And speaking of real monsters, Hitler's car as well, the Clive Palmer bought. Yeah, after he's bought it, after he's shipped it over and bought it, just... Yeah, once he's got the pink slip for that bad boy. Yeah, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how the the the the the the the they they they they they they they they their their their their their their their their their their their their their, their their their their their their their their their their, their, their their, their. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the's got the pink slip for that bad boy yeah then I'm going to town once he's gone down to Queensland Transport and he said hello I'm here to registered Hitler's auto then once he's paid all the money to get it changed from a left hand drive to a right hand drive to a right hand drive. Oh, I am.

I've refused to look into any of the news stories about it now. Like I see him saying I wasn't trying to buy Hitler's car and then I go, you probably were. And that's it and I've done. I'm not interested in learning anything else. I've done. I've chosen my truth and I'm sipping on it. That's fine. I have my facts and I don't then then tha tha tha tha tha tha to to to th. I don't to to to to to to to the facts. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've toe toe toe. I've toe. I've toe. I've toe. I've toe. I've toe. I'm toe. I'm toe. I'm toe. I'm toe. I'm toe. I'm toe. I'm toe. I'm toe. I'm toe. I'm toe. I'm toe. I'm not. I'm the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the try. I'm try. I'm try. I'm try. I'm not. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. toe. toe. toe. toe sipping on it. That's fine. Yeah, I have my facts and I don't need them to be updated. Thank you very much. Now right now we are sitting on the donation count at... Sorry I'm waiting for my page to refresh. $11,900 which is an extraordinary tremendous amount of money.

I think we are getting to the point where we would be taking the piss if we made this all that much longer. I think we should maybe keep going until we've got a good two-hour episode under our belt. But now is the time for you to think about what you can go without in the next week. Buy one less booster pack of Pokemon cards. Yeah. Yeah. Donate another nine dollars to charity. You know. You can go without tho that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. t. t. t. t. t. t. to. t. to. t. t. to. t. to. to. th. th. th. th. the th. to9 to charity. You know, you can go without your fucking venty, I don't know what do people order at Starbucks. What's the shit they have there? I'm not going to buy any more fortnight skins this week. You know, it's about sacrifice. Make it a sacrifice. So give us a little tiny little, little, all I need is a little tip, little, push me over the edge. I'm on possibly love up here. No. th. th. to th. th. th. th. th. to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to to th. th. th. to th. to th. to th. to th. to to to th. to to to to thi. thi. to to to thi. to thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I to to thi. I to thi. I thi. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. the. I the. I to to the. I don't to to to to to to tooen. I don't thea. I don't thean. I don't to thin. I don't the. I top up, little, push me over the edge. I mean, he's just caved me, had insulin? No, you don't need it.

No, yeah. You could donate this money to charity directly and you don't have to go through us at all, but instead, fucking donate to charity now, can't fucking do it? Yeah, fuck do it. But if you donate it through just like directly to them, we don't get to touch it, Yeah, but if you donate it through just like directly to them, we don't get to touch it. And that is, we want to- Don't get to touch it. And we'd like to, it would feel nice for us. We would like to screw-mock in those funds. Um, while you're doing that, while you're busy filling out the details on your payment which is tax deductible by the way, th you, well I think we hmm yes I was just gonna

say if we've if we just got a couple of minutes left is that what we're we have two minutes left well yeah but we started that time at early so I don't know if solid minutes yeah that's fair but you know given what you were saying Ben about sometimes you're just trying to stay out of the new cycle you know it's like did Clive Palmer buy Hitler's car or didn't yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes that? that that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th I I I I I I I I I I th I th I th I th I th I th I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that, about sometimes you're just trying to stay out of the news cycle, you know? It's like, did Clive Palmer buy Hitler's car or didn't he? Yes. It's too much for me psychically to try and deal with that. I've been feeling that at the moment.

So I kind of, I put pen to paper and I wrote a little song about what it's like to look at the news and I thought maybe maybe I could wrap us up top us off takes out with a little little chin. No actually out of time yeah good night it's just been going on for long yeah maybe later like maybe next time we might have time okay Sorry, everybody. Good night. You're night. Okay. Here's a little song I did today. About sometimes you just, you're looking at the news and you're like, damn. Psychic damage.

But what can I do, you know? What can I do for the world today? Current events. I feel very bad when I think about... Current events. It is giving me a depression. Current events. It is giving me a depression. Current events. I sink right down in my gamer chair.

Current events. It's not happening to me, but it could be. When I am reading the news and I'm thinking about just how bad things could be. I mean I get things are bad, but those things they are happening to someone who's not me. Sometimes good goes to bad goes to worse and my heart begins to sing. I come to turn to the worst part of all, no one is asking what I think. Because I've played age of empires And I've got some good ideas. I've seen saving private Ryan a time,

So I'm wise beyond my years. I'm willing to put aside my expertise in immunology And give all the best advice online about surviving World War 3. I feel very bad when I think about current events. There is entirely too much water. Current events. Perhaps I should put my phone down. Current events. No. The world needs me to keep on posting. Because I've read 20% of a book about military strategy.

And I think if they just listen listen I have all the things they need someone just told me if I love war so much that I should go and volunteer I can't deprive the world so I keep posting without fear. I feel very bad when I think about current events. This information's making my tummy hurt. Current events. I am up way past my bedtime. Current events.

You should appreciate my sacrifice think about becoming an armed conflict I think about becoming an armed conflict posting expert. Good call. Because you gotta do something. Gotta make a contribution. In these times? In these times, you gotta do something that matters. You gotta do something important.

That was, that was beautiful. And you've done it. I'm loving your version and career as a professional musical parodist. I'm so like Weird Owl. He really is the touchstone. If I say the words musical parody, you say Weird Al. Musical parody. Okay, we've really got to work on today word association. There was a call and response thing.

It's what Theo associates, when you ask him what are you associates with those words, it's usually those words. What I say, Ham, you say. I'm not falling for a second. My goodness. Well, that's a podcast on internet. That might be a podcast on internet. Now this, I think we're going to leave the fundraiser up for at least a couple more days.

And if you're listening to this not live, perhaps you are in the Peruvian time zone, which would put you at about 4 a.m. or 5 a.m. And you couldn't wake up in time to listen to this you might think I have to go busy tonight. Maybe you had plans. I've seen something better to do. Maybe you're fucking a suck or something. Better to do it? Give us a rich life. Rich inner life. You couldn't just drop everything for a podcast live. Get it. Get it. Get it. That's your business. Give us $10. Give us. Give us. Give us. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. the the th. the th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm. I'm. I's. I th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I th. I. I th. I th. I'm t. I'm t. I'm t. I'm t. t. t. to. t. to. to. t. to. t. to. to. tod. I'm. I'm t. I'm t. Give us $10. Give us fucking $10. You piece of shit, I'm coming to your house. Somebody was waiting. We are at $13,064. I'm sorry? I wonder who that could have been. No, I mean it could have been anyone. I don't know, I feel like we'll know.

Some incredible last-minute donations here from an incredible array of people. Wallet Inspector, brackets a egg, this is my insulin fund, farted in the Centrelink queue, silent but deadly. Some absolute heroes, plumbous erectus, thank you so much. Sir Self-Suck with $505. Thank you, Mr. Self-Suck. To get on the top of the table there. $50 from Mr. Cell Sister Hader, Mr. Mr.

Mr. on the radio, stereo, the way you move ain't fair, you know? That vibes with me as a train fan. Oh, God, man. $50 from Mr. Horny, but he dick so soft. Is there? Mrs. Hor horny but he dick so soft. Oh boy. Truly incredible stuff. We are so so grateful. You are absolute saints and nasty little perverts. A lot of you stay... You're all baddies. Stay safe out there. Stay dry if you can, if you're in New South Wi Victoria or in the parts of Queensland that are getting flooded you can if you're in New South Wales Victoria

or in the parts of Queensland that are getting flooded a second time around in a week look after yourselves don't take any dumb risks unless you have a very cool car and you think it would be fun and then take all the risks you would like and um we'll just make clear one more time before we go actually 13284 dollars but we will just make clear one more time before we go. Actually $13,284. But we will just make clear one more time before we go that obviously some of you will be listening to this in your podcast feed on your podcast playing app

on your Neil Young branded Pono lossless player. And you will still have time to donate. Hopefully help us reach that $15,000 goal. We can make a nice clean split between these to donate and hopefully help us reach that $15,000 goal. We can make a nice clean split between these three organizations. Theo's gonna rub each of those notes in his greasy little hands. I'm gonna put every coin in my mouth and feel that coppery taste, little zing. I don't remember to wash my hands that often. No, well we are you're working from home right? You're working from yeah so you don't need to. Who are you to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. Wea. Wea. Wea. th. Wea. tho. thoooooooooooooom? to. Wea. Wea. Wea. thooooooooo.'re working from home. So, you don't need to.

Who are you doing it for? You know? Hmm. So, you know, jump on to Buntavista.com slash donate. That'll take straight to the go fund mean. You can see the information about all the organizations that we are supporting, or that you are supporting, I should say. And, uh, thank th you th thank thue that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that that that that that that that that you're that that that that that that that that that that that. that that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that you. that you. that you are that you are that you that you are that you that you that you that you that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that's that's th. th. that. th. that. that. you. you you are th. you are you are the. you are you are that. you are you are that. you. that. that that that.. Thanks everybody you know. Yeah, cheers lovely of you. Good night. Right. Right. Bye. Peace. Moot.

the outro time. And then we just sit here for the whole outro. I think we should swain. I think we should swain. I'm not swaying. Yeah, who's going to tell you. Yeah, who's it going. We are the world. Imagine.