Boonta Vista - MINISODE: The Campfire Ben Phase 2 - George, Sandwiches, Happiness

Episode Date: October 7, 2021

In the free feed for the first time: it's the sleepy time spin-off podcast for when you want something to drift off to. The Campfire Ben Phase is rambling story or similar told by fireside somewhere in beautiful Southeast Queensland. This one is about George and sandwiches and happiness. I used my proper mic this time and it didn't really pick up any of the fire noises, so I'll probably go back to just using my phone next time. *** Outro: Tranquility - Bobby Hutcherson

Hello and welcome to Buonovista. My name is Ben and this is the Campfire Ben Face, which is an okayish pun, if you are a Board of Canada fan. This is my spin-off podcast for the borderline ASMR. This is for maybe if you're trying to get to sleep, or you've had a bad day and you want something relaxing, maybe I don't really know. But this is where I just sort of talk interminably while I am next to a campfire while I'm out camping. Right now I am I'm in Rizden in Queensland obviously because I can't leave the state not because of anything I've done just because of current

restrictions. This is a spot about 15 minute drive, 15 minutes drive out of Warwick in the scenic rim Darling Downs area. This is a big cattle property and it is fucking lovely. I've gone camping here three or four times before. I haven't been for a little while because I was a bit worried because getting to this spot is very hard on the Falcon, but the water crossing was actually not too bad this time and no bits fell off the car, which is nice. I don't know what time it is, but sun is almost entirely set at this point. It's just a little bit of orange on the horizon there, but mostly stars start to come out. It is a cloudless, a moonless night. But, but, but, but, but, but, but, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the f-a, but the the the the the the the the the the the the the thoom crossing thoomea, but the falkeck the falkeckoomeckoomeckoomeckoomeckon, but their their the the a little bit of orange on the horizon there but mostly stars start to come out. It is a cloudless, moonless night. I'm waiting

for the fire that I've built up to die down fully to embers so that I can cook my dinner over those coals. Louis is sitting right next to me. He's not lying down yet but he sure looks snoozy. Who knows? Anyway, so, I... This isn't really a story, or if it's maybe a series of stories, maybe. It's a series of stories that culminate in an idea. That sounds fucking horrible. I'm just going to start talking and then we'll see what happens. I'm going to start by talking about George. The first time I ever saw George, I was in my early 20s, and I was doing something which I would probably never ever do now but I was at a slam poetry night. Real Brisbane heads might be familiar with ruckus which I believe is ongoing.

Wonderful event organized by wonderful people but yeah going to that sort of slam poetry business was the sort of thing I did at the time. It's going with my friends. Tristan and Ash and we would drink a ton of red wine and we would watch people do the many things that fall under the heading of slam poetry. And we were at one night, which I think was maybe at the hideaway, which no longer exists, rips, rips the hideway. And I saw a performance, I don't know, whatever you call a, and one of the things that was done on the night was someone describing, just sort of talking, not doing like this lamb poetry thing of like,

you know, bloody putting weird emphasis on shit or really, I don't know, I'm not a big fan of slant poetry, but that's fine. They were just telling the story of a time that they got electrocuted by an electric fence and it was the funniest fucking shit I had ever heard in my entire life. It was absolutely tremendous. by an electric fence and it was the funniest fucking shit I'd ever heard in my entire life. It was absolutely tremendous. Louis just come over for some kisses, thank you, Lou. And I was watching this person do this thing, I was looking at them and they were absolutely fucking gorgeous and they just seemed so comfortable and confident and cool and funny and

wonderful and I have a distinct memory of just sitting there and just thinking fuck I would just like to meet this person. The lay observer would note that maybe that was entirely within the realm of the possible. That meeting that person would simply require going over to them and saying, hey, I liked your thing, what's up? But you know, I was as young, I was not a very confident person, I didn't really like myself all that much, and I didn't really see myself as the sort of person that could just approach strangers. So instead of going up to them I just did nothing. And so I thought, well, that's it. I'm never going to see them again. That's a shame. And I went about my life.

And then a couple of months later, I am doing probably the single thing I do the most, which is going to the bar around the corner from my then apartment. That part is the scratch bar Milton, which I work at now, but at the time was just frequenting on a near daily basis because I had a relatively well-paying job and depression, so I was drinking a fuckton of beer all the time. And I, my recollection is that I chucked a sickie to be there on a weekday, but I think having spoken to George about this later,ie to be there on a weekday, but I think having spoken to George about this later, they reckon it was maybe a Sunday.

So who can say, a little contentious bit of history there, but either way, I'm sitting at the bar, reading a book or something as I wanted to do. And, uh, now friend of the show back the show back then because the show didn't exist. And also we were more friendly acquaintances than we were friends. But friend of the show, Ben Jungles, the other Ben, is showing George on their very first day working at the Scratch Bar, how to use the Scratch's famously terrible taps. And I'm sitting at the bar and Ben is going, ah, he's alright, let's pour a beer, why don't you pour one for Ben? And I'm looking at them, I'm looking at George and I'm thinking, I know this face from somewhere. I'm unable to place it.

It's not until like months later, I'm like, holy fuck, that was the person from the slam pottery. That's wild. Anyway, I end up sort of overtime, because I'm always in at the bar. We talk a little bit. It's like it's fun. It's like flirty. It's like a little flirty, but like, you know, in my head I'm like, oh, this is, you know, you gotta be fun. You got to be charming to work behind a bar. So like, every guy that goes into a bar that has someone like, like, attractive, pay attention to them, thinks that, you know, they're being floated with and I'm just like, nah, that's not really a thing. Squash it, squash it from your mind.

There's no point sort of focusing on that. And then, things get like a little flirtier, and I'm like, well, maybe this is something, but then I'm like, fuck now, I can't, you can't like hit on someone who your entire interaction with has been while they've been like, like, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, they've, they've, they've, they've, they've, they've, they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they' they' they' they' they' they' they' they' they' they' they' they' they' they' they' they' they' they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've been like, they've been like, they've been like, they've been like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, they're they're they're they've they've they've they've they've something, but then I'm like, fuck no, I can't, you can't like hit on someone who your entire interaction with has been while they've been like working. Because that's shit, you know, it's like if every fucking Yahoo that took a liking to every person that was behind, but I mean, you can't, you know, you just gotta leave people alone while they're working. It's my belief.

Until I am saved from this fucking predicament by now a friend of the show, Ben Jungles, because one night I'm at the bar, sort of doing my usual thing, sitting up at the par, having a drink. And he's a little bit drunk, and he's got to go to arrested development trivia, but he doesn't have enough people for his team. And he's just like, Ben, you like arrested development, and I'm like, yes I do. And he's like, you should come to trivia. And I've never hung out socially before this point. This is a, now I'd spend nearly my entire life with him, but at that point, never really seen each other outside the bar.

And I'm like, yeah, that sounds great. And I go to it, and George is there, and I'm like, oh my goodness. So we're at, I believe it was was it, Beach Burrito in the Valley? I don't know why they had the rest of development trivia there. Might have even been man versus beer trivia maybe. I wonder. That means nothing to almost know one. Anyway, we're doing it. I'm fucking useless.

I really thought, you know, I've got a... My short-term memory is garbage, but my long-term memory for like shit I've watched is generally, I believe fantastic. I have remembered nothing, I'm useless, I contribute nothing, but George and I are hanging out in a social setting outside of the bar and I'm like, oh, I think this actually kind of makes us like, this might be okay. And then we, you know, start talking more and more over the bar and it's really nice. It's fun. And eventually I managed to bully George into taking me to West End markets one morning because I love going to the markets but I don't have a car at that point and like, I'm not taking all my fucking groceries on the bus or whatever. Also it is, there's such a minor gripe and it's kind of a little less true now that the the f the f th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi to to to to to to to to to to to thin to to to to to to to to to to to thi to thi thi th such a minor gripe and it's kind of a little less true now that the

ferries there, but it is a pain in the ass to get from where the West End markets are held to Milton, even though they're directly opposite each other from the river. The bridges aren't really close enough to them to make it work, to walk. You've got to change buses a bunch of time. Trains do not help you. Like, it's the fucking worst. It's a pain in the house. That's why I propose there should be a bridge built at the end of Park Road, and I've been saying this for a long time. I need it. Very badly. Anyway, George and I go to the markets together. You know, it's cute as shit, wander around. You get some food, what have you. George begins bullying me for buying tortias and not having my own tortilla press and I'm like, okay, let's get a fucking tortilla press. So George takes me to Brisbane's famous Penici, Mediterranean cuisine. I'm sure everyone just calls it Penicies in

that wonderful Australian way where we had a like possessive after it, like Tim's, Tim guitars, Rips. That's still going as an online business. Anyway, Penici cuisine I think it might be called, Penises. We go there, I get a tortier press, I get a bag of Masa, Marina, or yeah, whatever the other one is. And that's kind of our first date. Even though, it's not really a date, but like, there's a bit of a date. Our first proper date. George, I think. George ended up with a spare ticket to, well now that happened, to Nick Offerman doing a live show that was made to be with

his wife whose name I've forgotten. Anyway, we go out to dinner, we go to that, that feels much more, you know, date-like. I think it's the last time I, like, one of the few times in the last 10 years I've worn like nice leather shoes to something. I definitely overdressed for it, like I crazily overcorrected, but I wanted to impress. And then after that, we go back to my apartment and we watch, I'm pretty sure like the entire first season of Fargo, is my recollection. If it's not Fargo, it was another TV show that we had been sort of talking about over the bar being like, oh, we should watch that sometime. And then we would just stay up until like six in the morning watching that. And that was cool as shit. It was fucking lovely. And after that, you were like, oh, we're like, oh,

we're like, oh, we're like, oh, we're like, oh, we're like, we're like, we'lating. This fucking rules. Although, no, I think we actually not like dating, dating. We're just, you know, like seeing each other. It's very cute. I have no idea why the fuck we did that. And then, yeah, we just have a whirlwind romance after that. Like, we, before we'd even started, quote, seeing each other. I had, George had been like, hey, my, I have a ticket to Panama, this festival arranged by Brisbane people that happens down in Tasmania. It's a music festival for like 1,200 people. George was like, I have this ticket that was going to be for my ex.

Do you want to come to Panama? And I was like, well, I don't really like music festivals. I'm so fucking lootely. I would love to go to that. So just both of us pretending it's under the pretense that this is just like a fun new friendship where I've agreed to go on a trip to Tazzy with them. We end up dating and then that trip to Tassie becomes a romantic one. I'm like, I'm just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just to to then that trip to Tazzy becomes a romantic one and I'm like I'm just so fucking into them I'm like fucking just over the moon like I have been the whole time and this like long build-up to us dating but like I'm just manic about it you know like that trip before we've even gone down to

Tazzy we've drunkenly like booked flights for a second trip before we've even gone down to Tazzy, we've drunkenly like booked flights for a second trip to Tasmania like a couple of months later. That first trip to Tazzy, I'm like, George was going down a couple of days earlier than me because I had work. And then like on the day before I meant to fly down, it's like nine in the morning I've just gotten to fly down. It's like nine in the morning, I've just gotten to work. And I'm talking to George, who is having a great time down there, and I'm just like, no, fuck it.

I tell my boss, hey, can I just take today as annual leave? And also the next couple of days is annual leave before I was meant to take them. I really to to to to the to the they. I. I. I. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi. I thi. I thi. I to thi. I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to told. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I to to to to to to to to to th. I was. I was. I was. I was thi. I was just. I was just. I'm thi. I'm tell. I'm tell. I'm tell. I'm just just just just tell. I'm just tell, tell, tell, tell, tell, tell, tell, tell. tell tell., what? Okay. So I call up whoever I'd book my flights with it. I'm like, hey, I'd like to move my flight a day early. And they're like, there's no fucking way you can do that. You've got the cheapest economy flights. That just does not work. And I'm like, fuck, all right. What's the nearest, the soonest flight I can book? book to go down to Hobart. And then I spend a stupid amount of money buying another ticket and I just leave work, I go home, I chuck some shit in a bag and I get down and it's just so that I could see George 24 hours earlier than I was supposed to because I just really wanted to see them. And we, you know, we have a very lovely relationship.

We end up breaking up years and years later, because that's what happens to some relationships. But like, at the start of dating George was just like, entering this whole other world for me. I just, I was like a social-ish person, you know, like I was in a band and all my friends were in bands. So I was like going out and doing a bunch of stuff all the time, but mainly I was just like, going to Ricks and nowhere else. because that's, uh, because that's, uh, like, that's, that's, uh, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's that's that's that's that's that's thi, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, thi, thi, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, th, th, that's, th, th, thi, thi, thi, the, the, they, they. intering, they. I, they. I, thi. I thi. I's, time, but mainly I was just like going to Ricks and nowhere else. Because that's the only place where we would get booked like constantly. We're playing shows

that like basically Ricks, a place that became electric playground and is now something else entirely. Might even be fucking holy molly now I honestly don't know. The Pride side, maybe? Who fuck knows? And that was kind of it. So I was, you know, I was seeing the same sort of handful of people and going to the same handful of places, but like, dating George, I immediately met 500 people.

Like, George would just be like, oh, we're going to this tonight there's some sort of beer launch or something or there's a venue opening or there's something going on and there was always something going on. So like every another week we're out going to this stuff and every single time I would meet 20 25 new people who are all just smitten with George because that's George's power. They are just the most charming person in existence, and like, they just instantly make friends. So they have this huge network around them of people that they know. And then I got to know those people and became friends with those people.

And like, nearly all of them are still people I see all the time now, you know, five or six years later. And that was like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like a like a like a like a huge like a huge like a huge like the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their all their all their all their all the time now, you know, five or six years later. And that was like a huge change for me in how I lived my life. Before I was sort of like, I was planning my fun. You know, I had like a nine to 5 Monday to Friday job. Well, probably like 7.30 to 2 the way I was doing it. No one seemed to complain. But I would just like, I would plan my fun. I would know what events were on, or if I wanted to go out, I'd like message

to the night. We should go do this thing, or I'd wait for someone to message me. It was all kind of structured. Whereas with George, it was just like you would just go to things or you'd go places and there would be people there and you would hang out with them. And that was like, lovely for me. It was lovely. It was lovely to be surprised. Wherever you went, that the people that, tho. tho. tho. that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, thoomoomoomoomo-like, that, that, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, like, like, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th. tho. th. tho. tho. tho. that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, the the the that, the the that, the that the that that that that that that that that that that that that, that, oh lovely, these are the people that I get to hang out with. It was very nice. And like, even after we broke up, that's still sort of, I'm still in that same community of people and a lot of these people have now gone on to like open their own venues and stuff or, you know, like I hang out basically five or six different places. But I just go there now and that tho and they will be, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th at basically five or six different places. But I just go there now and then I will be full of my friends, which is fucking delightful.

And I sort of like came to realize that that was like, it was a huge, it was a big way for me to be able to cope with the depression that I've struggled with for like forever, was that immediately when I got depressed I would feel very isolated and I would never reach out to people to hang out with them. And you know, if I didn't receive a random message from someone being like, hey, would you like to hang out, I would immediately feel that I had like, dropped out of my friend's thoughts or whatever that I was never thought of, or I didn't really have friends, you know, you'd start spiraling in this way, where you'd be like, you'd just feel like you didn't matter in anyone's life,

whereas after I started just realizing that I was having a bad time, I could be like, you know what, I'm going to walk down to the bar and there will be a handful of people there who are the people that I love guaranteed, at least one of them. And that, it became this way that I could instantly sort of manage my depression. Didn't fix it, you know, I still felt like shit, but I was also surrounded by a bunch of people where I could walk in and see him and be like, fuck I feel like shit. And we can talk about it or we could just hang out or do whatever. It's very nice. And I realized that that sort of like needing that positive human interaction extended to just like strangers as well as, as well. Because I've lived in the same suburb now, roughly the same

suburb now for like nine or ten years, nine years maybe. Eight or nine years let's say. But it means I've been going to like the same shops, most days the week, every week, for a really long time. So I have these like, not even close to being friendships, not even acquaintances, I just have like a collection of people that I know well enough to just like smile and wave at them and say, hey, how are you doing? Which is the best I have discovered. This relatively innocuous thing is, brings me so much fucking joy that like, absolute bliss for me now is being like, waking up in the morning being like, oof, I would really like a terrible sandwich, which happens to me a lot. I love terrible sandwiches. And I know that the morning being like, I would really like a terrible sandwich, which happens to me a lot.

I love terrible sandwiches. And I know that the IGA, in the little fridge cabinet there, has their sandwiches that they make there and then package up, and they are horrible. They are just, they do like seven or eight different varieties at random times and they are no good. Not a single one of them is good but they still sort of tick that box of I just want that like overly margarineed bread white bread with some shit on there and

that's what I crave so I I wake up and go fuck I want a sandwich put on some pants and I walk out of the house maybe put on a shirt depending on the weather and then I I that the weather. And th. and th. th. th. th th th th th th th. th th th. And th th th. And the the that that they that that that they the they're they're they're they're they're they're they're Put on some pants and I walk out of the house. Maybe put on a shirt depending on the weather. And then I walk up to the IGA which involves walking past the bar and walking past mongrel and walking past a bunch of other places where sometimes I see people there and I'll go, and maybe I'll go get a coffee, a bunker and I'll talk to those guys for a little bit. I get my coffee. I'll go and walk up to the IGA and I'll walk past the fruit and veg place and one of those guys will be out the front and I'll be like, hey man, how you doing? And the guy will be like, yeah, good man, how you doing? I'm like, yeah, great.

Get my sandwich, give my hello nod to the few people at the IGA, I'm on a hello nod basis with. Try and get served by a person, but if the line's too bad, I'll just go for a self-serve machine, you know, if that's the fucking, it's the way, it's the way, it's the way, it's the way, it's the way, it's the way, it's the way, it's the way, it's the way, it's the'll do that and then I'll slowly walk back. And then maybe I'll see if anyone's at the bar during the day doing some admin or whatever and I'll say hey I'll talk to them for a little bit, it'd be like right, be like right, go to go home and do some work. So I go do that. And then the community and I am just fucking vibing as hell. Just like that is the shit that makes me feel fucking fantastic. I went on a tiny bit of a drunk tear about this on the regular episodes the podcast the other day about like how I get that it is kind of fucking awesome that you can choose from all the cuisines of the world and then someone just drops at your doorstep 20 minutes later and you haven't had to like put in the effort of putting on a

face to interact with people. You know, like you just, food appears and you get to eat it in front of the TV watching literally anything from the entire history of television that's also at your fingertips. But I also love the experience of like, I go to the Thai place near me and I talk to Con a little bit and ask him how he's going with his home brew and shit, you know, like, like, or I go into Glee Fu, there's next to the bar, I talk to those guys, they'll get some Chinese food. I'm like, fucking, that whole experience to me is just, I don't know what it is. Those like small interactions just make me ecstatic at this point in a way that I don't, yeah, I don't know what that is. And I think the moment that I

realize that this is the thing that makes me like actually relatively happy to be alive on balance was the night before the lockdown was supposed to happen. No, no, that's not true, sorry, that it was, I think, the weekend before Queensland went into lockdown. And at this point, no restrictions were in place. Like right now, we've got, you know, mask stuff and check-in stuff and all that. And we didn't have any of that. I think we might have been on paper sign-ins that were all sort of of our own design and then later on in the night being entered into an Excel spreadsheet.

Like it was fucking madness. There weren't capacity restrictions. You were just being told to like wipe down tables. No one in Brisbane was even thinking about wearing a mask and wouldn't until like six or seven months later which is so wild in retrospect. And there was no even a suggestion yet from the government that there would be financial compensation if you had to close your venue that like people would keep on getting paid. But everyone was aware that like continuing to work, or to continue to operate as normal, was a bad idea. That was just a bad vibe.

So our friends over at Mungrel, the bar that is opposite to scratch, had announced. On the Friday they had announced that they were going to be closing on Sunday because Annie, one of the owners, is a nurse and she was seeing the shit go down and she was like, no, it's not responsible and it's not safe. We can't do this. You know, we're going to a murky financial future where we're probably not going to be able to afford to pay our staff, but like for the sake of public health and for the personal health of our staff. This is just a terrible fucking idea. And for whatever reason a bunch of us have gone in on the Friday night. I feel like maybe they even hadn't been to be torn or something which is fucking wild. I'd been an art show launch. There's just like a bunch of the people from. And, and th, and th, and th, and th, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for the public, for the public, for the public, for the public, for the public, for the public, for their, for the public, for their, for their, for their, for their, for their, for their, for their, for their, for their, for their, for their, for their, for their, for their, for their, for their, for their their, for their, for their, for their, for their, for their their, for their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their health health health, something, which is fucking wild. I'd been an art show launch.

There's just like a bunch of people from our, from the bars and from our sort of social circle and community, are all in there on the Friday night. And we're all getting quite drunk because everyone is feeling very weird because of the looming pandemic. And then at some point, later on in the evening, when everyone's a little toasty, Gabs, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, their their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th.e, their, th. We's, their, th. We's, th. We's, th. We's, they, they. We's, th. We's, th. We's, th. We's, th. We's, th. We's, th. We's, th. We's, th. We's, th. We's, th. We's, th. We's, th. We's, th. We's, th.e.e. th. th. th. theyy-s, they-au. theyaugh, th. they-a'ea'erera'era'ea'era'er's just just just just just, th. th. th. in the evening when everyone's a little toasty, Gabs, the chef and one of the other owners, he comes around to us and he says, well, we said that we're closing on Sunday, when actually tonight is going to be out last night because we don't want people to do like, we don't want to entice people to come in on mass because that would defeat the entire fucking point. Which was

sort of how they kept doing like snap lockdowns and stuff to make sure that people weren't you know going out for a rager the night before or whatever. Same sort of vibe. And at some point after that, I think I've mentioned this on the podcast before. Anyway, a couple minutes after that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that that that that that that that would the that would that would that would that would would would would that would would would would that would would would that would would would would that would would that would that would that would that would would that would that would that would would that would that would th, that would would th, th, th, I think I've mentioned this on the podcast before, anyway, a couple minutes after that, I'm sitting there at a table by myself, getting lost in my thoughts, and I just like break down crying, like out of nowhere. I just start fucking like sobbing. Like I am just like scared and worried and stressed.

But I also have this moment of clarity when I realize that everything is about to change for me. That I've finally sort of gotten to this point in my life where I've figured out what the thing is that makes me happy and that that is about to be taken away from me. And everyone's about to lose a lot. But I'm thinking just about how I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the tho- I am thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th. I th. I th. I th. I am th. I am th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi that that that that that that to that to that that that that that that that that that that that that that th about to be taken away from me. And everyone's about to lose a lot. But I'm thinking just about how I am not going to have any of that sort of incidental social contact that I crave at all. We are all about to be locked inside and I am going to miss out on everything.

And I am going to go back to feeling like shit all the time. And I'm fucking terrified. And it just like it hits me so heavily that the thing that has been keeping me sane has been my dumb bullshit. Which is just going for a walk and getting a sandwich that there is the height of being alive for me. So I have that moment, I have that realization, and I start crying, and I don't really know what to do, and then, uh, the person I know, but like, we're not friends necessarily, uh, her name is Abby, and I know her through a big group of people in art collective called Art Rats. They do a lot of stuff with the bars and the venues that I work with and they done merch designs for us and stuff for art shows and stuff. And um...

I know them well enough to say, hey, how you doing? Have a chat to them. But like, we're not friends. We don't hang out. They have seen me crying, sitting at the table. And she has gone up to the bar. She has ordered me a pint of something, and she has slid the pint silently across me to the table. Across me, across to me, across the table. Across me to the, across to me, across the table. I don't know,

whatever. Anyway, she's, she's given me the beer. And then she has just given me a hug and then she has wordlessly walked off and it was one of the most beautiful and touching gestures of just like empathy and loveliness and it was so delightful and I cried even more because of how sweet that was. It was just a very beautiful moment. And you know we're still in and out of surprise lockdowns every now and then and restrictions are still annoying and you know whatever the fuck but I still have. I can do my dumb bullshit. I can get in the car and I can drive out

to the farm with the lovely people that I met because George went to a high school with one of the owners, one of the people that runs the farm and I say, hey do you mind if I come out for a swim, bring the dog with me, Phil or Ali say, out. Then come out, go for a dip. I talk to them about how their leeks are going. I look at the leaks. I do a couple of laps in the garden. I look at the pea flowers and I say, oh, fuck, that looks a bit nice.

And I go for another swim, and I do some more laps. And I say hi to the goats, and I go home. I get to do that. I get to go to the bar of an afternoon if I've finished my work and I go, oh, Graham's there, or Joel's there. You know, I get to say hello. And even just regulars, whose names I don't know, I get to say hi to those guys. And you get to chat a little. I get to chat a little I get to chat. I the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their tho. I'm thoomomgoymonge. I'll tho ga. I'll thoomorrow. I get thoomg. I get their gram. I'll their grame. I'll their grame. I'll their grame. I'll their gram. I'll their graham. I'll their graham. I'll their graham. I'll their their their their gn. I'll their gn. I'll their gn. I'll their gn. I'll their gn. I'll their ga. I'll their thr. I'll thr. I'll throwne. Grahama. Graham. Grahama. Grahama. Graham. Grahama'amamamamamamamseha'a'a'a'a'ern'ern'a'erthat I like. I get to go to alphabet and West End. I get to see the girls. I can walk in the kitchen, I can talk to Zoe and Meg about how running a cafe is going. And that's real nice. I go to Lucky Duck, talk to those guys.

I've got my spots that I can go to, I can go to the Ija get a sandwich, get a sandwich, get a sandwich, I the sandwich, I the sandwich, I, I, get a sandwich, I, get a sandwich, I, I, I, get a sandwich, I, get a sandwich, I, and tha, I tha, and tha, I tha, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm the the tho, and tho, and to the to to tho, and tho, and the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to tho, and thi, and tho, and to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the IJA, get a sandwich, they say hi to the fruit and veg guys. And things are back, back to normal and I feel, I feel very happy to be alive and in Brisbane and just it's a part of a community in all these different ways and it's the fucking best. So I think that story was about happiness, I don't know. And about George and about sandwiches. Louis is between me and the fire right now because I think he's trying to warm up though I'm going to put his jacket on him. He looks very regal. The stars are out now and they look. I got to tell you, fucking magnificent. I can see the goddamn milky way with the naked eye and like it's still going to get darker in a little bit. That's...

That's the fucking tits. I'm sorry if you are currently in lockdown, that shit fucking sucks ass. I hope you get back to being able to do the things that make you happy soon. If you don't have a going to a sandwich routine equivalent, going to a sandwich, Jesus. Getting a sandwich routine equivalent. I recommend getting one. Just go to the same shop enough that you get to say hi to the people that work there. I'm on a hello basis with like four people that work at the server that I

go to now. And like two or three of them are now regulars at the bar like it's the best. I go in I get my fuel, I get my horrible Coles Express $7 premium sausage bacon and egg breakfast sandwich which is like if you're picturing something with discrete ingredients to it you are wrong. It is a sandwich full of mush and it looks like shit and it has the texture of paste and I love it. It's so bad. I love it but anywhere, anywhere can be a spot where you get these nice little social boosts and I think they're cool as fuck. Well maybe you just hate talking to people, you're not interested at all. Then this was mainly just about me and my feelings. Anyway, I hope you are doing well in your life.

If this was a bullshit waste your time, let us know in the comments, but nicely and then I'll see whether these are worth doing again or not. Maybe you've already fallen asleep by this point. That would be quite nice for you. Also if you would like to hear a better version of this, go on YouTube and look for the video of Kurt Vonnegut, the goat, Kurt Vonnegut, talking about going to the post office to send off his pages to be typed. He talks about just the same thing, just the delight in having these little routines and just going out and doing things. It's his bit that he famously concludes

with, we're here on this earth to fart around and don't let anyone tell you any different. He's absolutely right. All right, getting out here. Have a good one. Bye. I think. I I'm I I'm a little bit. I think. I don't know. I'm going to be a little. I'm try to you