Boonta Vista - UNLOCKED BONUS EPISODE: 5B

Episode Date: May 28, 2020

We're unlocking our bonus episodes for the indefinite time period in which people are self-quarantining, because when all you have is a podcast, everything looks like a problem you solve with podcast episodes. Enjoy! *** Andrew, Theo, and Ben give bees a chance to defend themselves, delve into the many ways bees are smarter than you, and answer any questions you might have about the powerful 5GBioShield USB stick. *** Support our show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista *** Email the show at [e-mail]! Call in and leave us a question or a message on 1800-317-515 to be answered on the show! *** Twitter: twitter.com/boontavista Website: boontavista.com Merchandise: boontavista.com/merchandise Twitch: twitch.tv/boontavista

Welcome to Bud Vista. This is a bonus episode. I'm Ben and I'm here in beautiful Mackay, Queensland. I'm experiencing the incredible delights of the Blue Water Lagoon. The Blue Water Trail. Kaneland Central Shopping Center.the Orchid Displayhouse, Slade Point, the Mackay Regional Botanic Gardens, Mackay Visitor Information Center. Oh, it's all happening. Oh, and over there at Dolphin Heads, it's Theo. Hello, Theo. Hey, how are you? I'm great. I'm so glad to be in all of the, all of the places that I know in Maca. The Goose Ponds. The Goose Ponds. The Dudley Dettie City Library. I literally lived like 100 meters away from the Goosepons. Tell me about them. What's there? Um, so it. th, hey. Hey, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, the, how, how, how, th, th, how, th, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Hey, how are th. Hey, how are th. Hey, how th. Hey, how th. away from the goose ponds. Tell me about them. What's there?

So it's sort of big, like, creek, but still doesn't move. Sounds like someone's in the pocket of big creek. Yeah. And there's lots of geese there. Well that sounds like a riveting time. And there's other stuff in Mackay too, as you can probably imagine. Oh certainly. Did I already say Mackay Aquapark?

No actually you didn't. That's the thing they built where you hold onto ski. What do you call the handles on a on a water ski? The toe rope? Toe rope. Yeah, and it's like an electric toe rope that takes you around in circles. Oh, that sounds dope. That's in downtown Beaconsfield.

But we all know it's got nothing on Lambert's lookout, which is where Andrew is. I'm here at Lambbert's Lookout. You are. Enjoying the sites. I'm looking forward to going to the botanical gardens later. And getting mad. Well, I have lots of watches a lot of gardening shows. She watches like Gardening Australia and gardening other places.

And I get really mad every time that they're looking at somebody's garden. And they're like, yeah, here's all the stuff that I grew, blah, blah, blah, look at my big lush garden. And I'm like, well, fuck off. Nothing impressive about anything you've grown in that case. Because you can't stop stuff from growing there. I mean, I don't know if that's necessarily the case the case the case the case the case the case tha case that case that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that case because you can't stop stuff from growing there. I mean I don't know if that's necessarily the case where we're very prone to drought it's very very hot here very limited window which you can grow a lot of

things. Very hard to cook to grow coriander. Yeah that's the big one. It's very hard to grow coriander. Is that what you're telling me? Why is it hard? Why is it hard? Because it's too hot. It wills. It's simply too hot and moist for the plants I'm trying to grow. You gotta get a bloody air con unit for your plants. Ugh. They're just like, oh, you know, here I am growing all my plants in the sub-tropics and I'm like, fucking turn it off. Fuck you. What a specific gripe to have. It is. It is. They're rubbing it in my face, rubbing the climate in my face. All that rich, moist dirt. I got a bloody mouthful of it. You know, pricks.

So anyway, here I am up at the lookout. Yep. I've put my, I put my coin into the coin operated binoculars. I don't think they... Oh there's nothing up there. Nor is there anything to look at. I mean if you're lucky between I said October to June? Oh you thought you were talking about... Oh no I thought you were talking about, uh, box jellyfish season. Oh, you're a kanji season. You're a kanji.

They'll get you. They'll get you. If you go in the water, which I didn't. That was a good call. 19 years. And also still true to the beach. You ever come to the beach with us before? No. I don't think you have the beach. I'll go to the beach with you, bro. It sounds like you're talking a big game.

You don't seem like a big beach guy to me. No, I'm certainly not, not big or into beaches. Are you, um, are you like me and each trip to the countdown to when you can leave the beach. Absolutely, when I could go home to my devices. You people are absolute fucking perverts. When can I get this fucking sand off me? That's my deal. Yeah. So I, I, uh, I will freeze in the, in the subtropical waters of, uh,

of Mackay. Or the Gold Coast. I got nobody fat whatsoever to speak of. So I've got about a six week window when the water is the right temperature for me to go in there. And you also burn. Well, that's right. That also overlaps with the time that the sun is the wrong temperature for me to go in there. Oh, Theo's out there in his Burkini.

It's the only safe thing to do. It's true. That's got some serious sun coverage, and that's a smart thing to do in Australia. Oh, up here at the lookout, taking in all of the... What is that? I believe it's the sound sound the sound the sound the sound the sound the sound the sound the sound the sound that I believe it's the sound of nature country roads take me home to the place I belong I belong will take a ser

nature corner Nature Corner, rubber crab, sniffed my dear. Here we are in Nature Corner, which as I understand it is located up the top of some bullshit hill in Mackay. I mean that seems unnecessarily mean. We were sort of keeping the meanness implied, and you've just gone out and called Mackay shit. This is just around the corner from bloody Kathy Freeman Oval. You know what? That wasn't actually on the list of, well I guess it doesn't really count as it. There's a little concrete like Bessar Block building there, there next to the oval where we would

do the land parties. Oh my fucking God. What were you playing on there? Fuck it. Oh, that was, I mean it was a half life two? No, no, no, this is pre-half life two. I think. Unrille tournament?

A bit of like original cod, like cod one. I know such a thing. thine, thine, thine, thine, thine, thine, thine, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, th, th, thi, thi, th, th, th, the, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, tha, tha, tha, the, the, the, the thea, thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, tha, tha, th Yeah, a bit of Unreal tournament. A bit of like original Cod, like Cod 1. I know such a thing probably. It's back to just being Call of Duty again. Yeah, I know. I know. Yeah, this is the first one. The very first one. Now, if I'm to understand correctly, you guys recorded an episode of the show without me recently. I wasn't made aware that it was happening. It's basically, it's happened in private and been released to the public. I feel like this narrative is almost the opposite of what happened.

Yeah, I mean I would probably put out here at this point that I would ask for forgiveness, not permission, but we all know that's simply not going to happen. And I understand some kind of dialogue about bees was entered into. Could you explain this to me and anybody who didn't listen to that episode on account of not wanting to betray me, Andrew. Wow. I mean first of all... I don't think it's a betrayal if they didn't know about this, so that's fine. So we talked about bees and we talked about them being very small bastards that are trying to take over. Where was that story? I feel like it was in the American South. Oh, was it the ones that had moved in there were like a hundred thousand of them between

the guys four boards? Exactly 100,000 bees. Yeah, the man counted them. On the way out. On the way out. Each one of them going past through his like, um, his vacuum tube that is the width of one bee. His modified shop back. I did like that it was a modified shop back. I did like that it was a modified shop back that implied that it wasn't like just a shop back? It's not a regular shop back it's a

modified shop back. Yeah it's not a regular shop back the tube is longer like that was very fun to me that aspect of the story but I like to picture it being the same as like you know the fish tube that they were using to send oh absolutely no that the the tho tho tho tho the the the but the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the that was that was the the the that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the theeeeeeeeeee theeeeeeeeeeee the the the fish tube that they were using to send so. No one never forgets the fish tube. Like that but with individual bees passing through one at a time. It'd be quite easy to have a bee counter them wouldn't it have a little laser? Yeah, I guess so. Maybe like one of those little, you know? The little babump things. The bump, bump, yeah. The bubomps. So, um, so there was, I guess what I was saying is there was a lot of bee criticism leveled. I think it's been said that we talk smack about some bees, which I don't know if that's

necessarily true, but- No, I felt like we were kind of, I feel like there's no heroes in this story. No, except the guy raising his own memories of several times he's been out of my bees. He is the real protagonist. I think the hero of the story was the bee removal man because he removed the bees and he has a neighbor who he gives the bees to. Because he has a bunch of hives and he just goes over and puts his shop back on reverse and spits all the bees to. He gives... Because he has a bunch of hives, and he just goes over and puts his shop back on reverse and spits all the bees out into his hives. And then he also collects all the honey. Yeah, but everyone had too much honeycobiles.

The artisanal place had too much. The artisanal place had too much. Well, they just dump it in a big pile and they'll they have it. And that's that's sustainability baby. I mean that's a very human-centric view of what happened there. I think if you're one of the bees, one of the 100,000 bees in the house this man would not be a hero to you he would be your destroyer. Yeah but I'm not one of those fucking pricks so wow okay well this is why listen to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thee is the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to the show, Alex, dear friend, he keeps his own bees in Sydney and he decided it's only fair if the bees got a right of reply and we said, you know what, absolutely lutely. So this is some bees, not the relocated bees, having a chance to express their own opinions on the story.

This is a statement from some Sydney-based bees. I can't believe that bee speaks English. That's incredible. I'm trying to the Very interesting stuff there. And fair enough. I will say, Theo, when you and I were talking about the story, how he would say that the most audible sound was the bees bumping their little bottoms into the walls. Yep. It sounded like you could quite audibly hear bees hitting the microphone there. Absolutely.

Yeah. And now you know. I would make a point though as well which is, you know, Alex has offered this recording of his bees in defense of bee behavior, uh, but I would count of that Alex is a bee slaver. Well, I mean I think he's kind of more in a like a symbiotic relationship with the bees. He gives them, yeah. He gives them not death and they give him money? Do you have to put anything in your beehive? I don't think, I don't think so. We don't put anything in ours.

God, my wife would be so happy if I got a beehive. Maybe he like intentionally cultivates flowers for them to pollinate and such, you know? We don't know. We don't know the whole story. We don't know the whole story, so we should probably listen to the rest of the half hour. All right here we go. Spiakled in. That will be available as a bonus episode. So keep an eye out for that. We will give you the entire half hour long Sydney based B recording as a nice little ambient vibe. I really like that you are quite

specifically stating each time that they're based in Sydney just to make sure everyone knows what the situation is or not misrepresenting the bees location. These are Melbourne bees. If anybody's translating anything they're saying and it fucking sucks. Then we know, you know what's up. Now on the topic of bees, which has already been occupying quite a bit of our time, apparently, we take you now to a story from Futurity. I don't know how I feel about that as a title. So the name of a magazine?

I believe it's the name of magazine, yes. Futurity. Futurity. Which is a bit like futility, but with future in it instead, you know? It does have some of the same letters, that's true. Yeah, it's 100% not a word, as far as I know. Anyway, they are here to tell us that apparently when pollen is scarce, bees stab plants to speed up flowering, further reinforcing the idea that they are a bunch of pricks. I don't know if that's the takeaway. Okay, well you please deliver us the takeaway. Go for it.

Wow. Pressure is on. I mean, that's, was it just because I questioned you that now I have to read the article? Is that how this is operating operating? You they? You they? You their their their their their their their their their their their their? their? their? their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. the. the. Was it just because I questioned you that now I have to read the article? Is that how this is operating? You handing out punishment when your word is challenged? Let me clarify this for you. Yes. Okay, great. In some areas of the world, spring has sprung earlier than ever before this year, accompanied by temperatures more typical of early summertime. Many plants were already in full bloom by mid-A-A-April- Hold, hold, hold, hold, can you just give me that first sentence again? Hmm. Go on. In some areas of the world, spring has sprung earlier than ever...

Feeck off. How long have you had? This is the worst show of all time. A spring noise, a fucking boying on your fucking soundboard for before you ever got to use it. Sprung? Oh, I felt a missed opportunity there. Okay, go on. Oh. These types of seasonal anomalies are becoming increasingly frequent due to climate change, and the resulting uncertainty threatens to disrupt the timing of mutualistic relationships between plants and the insect pollinators.

Researchers have now discovered that one peculiar bumblebee behavior may help to overcome such challenges by facilitating coordination between the bees and the plants they pollinate. The research has found that bumblebee workers use their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their facilitating coordination between the bees and the plants they pollinate. The research has found that bumblebee workers use their mouth parts to pinch into the leaves of plants that haven't flowered yet and that the resulting damage stimulates the production of new flowers that bloom earlier than those on plants that haven't received this, quote, nudge. So they're actually answering the question what that mouth do. The previous work has showed that various kinds of stress get a juice plants to flour, but the role of bee inflicted damage in accelerating flower production was unexpected.

Says Mark Mesher, a professor in the environmental system sciences department at ETH Zurich. The researchers first noticed the behavior during other experiments by one of the authors. Oh no, Fertani Pachalida? Was it like, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh? Hmm? Is it giving that again? No. Pollinators were biting the leaves of test plants in the greenhouse. On further investigation we found that others had also observed such behaviors, but no one explored what the bees were doing to the plants or report an effect on flower production Meesher explains. Following up on their observations, the researchers devised several

new laboratory experiments and also conducted outdoor studies using commercially available bumblebee colonies, typically sold for the pollination of agricultural crops and a variety of plant species. Based on their lab studies, the researchers were able to show that the bumble bees' propensity to damage leaves has a strong correlation with the amount of pollen they can obtain. Bees damage leaves much more frequently when there is little or no pollen available to them. So what you're saying to me is that bees are the debt collector of the animal kingdom. You reckon this is like a... Where's our frigid bollin coming around and then smashing the legs? This is like the, the level of kneecaps getting busted

increases drastically when money is not available to the debt collector. I think this is exactly the same as that. Weirdly, when you start smashing kneecaps, money starts appearing. It do. They also found that damage inflicted on plant leaves had dramatic effects on flowering time in two different plant species. Tomato plants subjured up to 30 days earlier than those not targeted, or mustard plants flowered about 14 days earlier when bees damaged them. I just want to say that bumble bee biting is a wonderful little phrase. I, it does sound quite violent the way this is being described.

Like I am starting to be like, hey, no tomato plants. You don't have to do what they tell you to do. This seems mean. Hey, give me a break guys, you know. The bee damage had a dramatic influence on the flowering of the plants. One that has never been described before says, Consuelo de Morais, also a professor in the environmental system sciences department. She also suggests that the developmental stage of the plant when bumble peas might may influence the degree to which flowering accelerates, a factor that investigators

plan to explore in future work. The researchers tried to to to to to to to to to to to the the plan to explore in future work. The researchers tried to manually replicate the damage patterns caused by bees to see if they could reproduce the effect on flowering time, but while this manipulation did lead to somewhat earlier flowering in both plant species, the effect was not nearly as strong as that caused by the bees themselves. This leads to Morias to suggest that the chemical, that some chemical or other cue may also be involved. So the b the b the bees. So the bees the bees the bees the bees the bees the bees the bees the bees the bees the bees the bees the bees the bees the bees the bees the bees the bees the bees the bees the bees the bees the bees the bees the suggest that the chemical, that some chemical or other Q may also be involved. So this is pretty wild, that the bees, A, can do this and also can do it better than people can? Seems pretty fucking cool. I guess.

I mean, I haven't tried yet. Oh, sorry. You're saying, it's not that you're unsure that they can do it better than people generally. You're unsure that they can do it better than you? Better than me specifically. Right, okay. That's, now you're getting it. So you're seeing the bees do this and you're thinking, ah, I can do I was biting that flower. If I was biting that flower, who knows what had happened.

You're like someone's dad walking around a modern art museum. Oh, I can bloody do that. Oh, it's just some bloody stripes. I can put some stripes on something. Too easy. Have you ever seen the documentary, my kid could paint that? No. Fascinating. It's, um, it's one of those documentaries that had the rare fortune of a thing, like

a drastic thing happening while they were in the middle of filming it. So it was about a person who had like, you know, maybe five, six year old kid who was doing this like abstract, modern expressionism type paintings. And they were selling them to galleries and saying, isn't it an amazing that a child could do this? And while they're talking to this guy during the movie, he's like, yeah, I was an artist when I was younger and my career never really took off, and you're like, huh.

And over the course of the movie, it starts to kind of unravel and people start to say,, to say to say to say to say to say to say to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thi, thi, thi, thin, thin, the course of the movie, it starts to kind of unravel and people start to say, we think you're doing the paintings. And she gets very, very weird. So I recommend the documentary. My kid could paint that. Much like I could paint these flowers with my mouth. By paint, I mean by you. Sure. I thought you meant like that, uh, the lady who, she was quadriplegic and then started painting by holding the paintbrush in her mouth. Oh yeah. I feel like the movie My Left Foot, starring Daniel Day Lewis. I haven't seen it. Paints. No, me either.

I gotta watch that movie. Yeah do you do you though. Okay. So while we're talking about bees, I thought another thing we can talk about is bees. Finally my favorite thing, Bees. Welcome to the All Bee podcast. I mean we did like an All Gorilla episode once. I reckon we could do it again. Welcome to Beantel. Fuck, that's quite good actually. Podcast about bees. So we know that bees can manipulate the environment around them to their own ends.

But what else could they do? That's it. That's the end of the list. Have a good night, everyone. That and honey. It's the main things. This is a story from the publication, New Scientist from back in 2017. Bees are the first insects shown to understand the concept of zero. Huh. Mm-hmm.

Bees seem to understand the idea of zero. The first invertebrate shown to do so. When the insects were encouraged to fly towards a platform carrying fewer shapes than another one, they apparently recognized no shapes as a smaller value than some shapes. Look, this is just another thing that I can do. Okay, you don't have to like prove that you're smarter than a bee. I disagree. I think Andrew should be proving that he is a smarter than a bee. I disagree. I think Andrew should be proving that he is a smarter than a bee. I've got to have it over someone. Come on. I'm going to try and set up this same experiment and put you in there and they'll just see

what happens. This dumb man keeps going for one instead of zero. It's awful. Zero is not an easy concept to comprehend. Even for us. Young children learn the number zero later than other numbers and often have trouble identifying whether it is less than or more than one. Apart from ourselves, some other animals

grasp the concept of zero though. Chimpanzees and monkeys, for instance, have been able to consider zero as a quantity when taught. That's true. If you are, if you say th, if you say, if you say, if you say, if you say, if you say, if you say, if you say, if you say, if you say, if you say, if you say, if you say, if you say, if you say, if you say, if you say, if you say, if you say, if you say, if you, if you, if you, if you, if you, if you thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the the the the the the the their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, to to to to to to to to to to to to to thooooooooooooo. thi, thi, thi, thi, thue. If you say I have no bananas, they do like, they put their hands over their eyes and then they fall backwards off their mouth. That's very funny. I feel like your understanding of how monkeys and chimps operate is almost entirely from movies maybe. Well, I feel like chimps know the difference between a face and no face. They can even demonstrate that to you. Oh boy. Yeah, they know the

difference between like some prescription drugs and no prescription drugs when you've run out and then they have to quantify the difference between some face and no face. With their tiny brains bees may seem an unlikely candidate. Now who's mean to the bees? They're very physically tidy. I don't think they're calling them dumb. Bees may seem an unlikely candidate to join the zero club. That sounds like a club you join when you die at zero. Die at birth, yeah. But they have surprisingly well developed number skills.

A previous study found that they could count to four. To see whether huddy bees are able to understand zero, Scarlet Howard at R-M-I-T University in Melbourne, I feel like I would have just said R-M-I-T there, and her colleagues first trained bees to differentiate between two numbers. They set up two platforms, each with between one and four shapes on it. On one platform, bees were given a sweet, sucrose solution, and on the other, a nasty-tasting, is it quinine? Quinine?

Sure, solution. Whinine? I'm not going to say that. Previous research has found that bees learn more quickly if they're not merely rewarded for correct choices, but also punished. I hit it on the nose of the tiny little newspaper. Just a little smot you've ever seen.

Bees learn more quickly if you smack them on their little bottoms. When they die. The researchers trade the bees to associate a platform that had fewer shapes on it with the sweet reward. Until they made the right choice 80% of the time. The bees will put through further tests with differently shaped objects to confirm that they were responding to the number of shapes and not their appearance. Next, when given a choice between two or three shapes and zero shapes, bees picked zero most of the time. In a second experiment, other bees were trained in the same way, but their they had to choose to land on a platform with either zero or between one and six objects. They consistently chose zero, but were less accurate and took more time when the other option was one rather than six objects.

The fact that the numerical distance between the two quantities on offer seems to to affect how challenging the bees found the problem provides further evidence that the bees conceive zero as a number, Howard told the behavior conference in Estorial Portugal this week. Oh I've got to go to Portugal talk about how many numbers bees know. Just say you're having an affair. Just say you're having an affair. Just say... No but they know zero. Just say it. Say having an affair, whatever. Just caught on the spot like, where have you been? Bees. Uh, bees know the number zero. I'm teaching bees rudimentary maths. I'm sleaving on the couch again, aren't they?

These last two paragraphs are the kicker for me. Um, such experiments suggest that bees' comprehension of zero is similar to that of some humans and primates, she said. Some humans, but it's unclear... Some humans. But it's unclear why they have this ability. We still have some things to figure out about why they can do this. Checking if they have a tidy earpiece in maybe. A few attempts of... A microscopic clipboard. They're cheating, they're looking, they're little palms. All six of them. Few attempts have been made to test whether animals other than primates can recognize zero as a number, says Susan Healy at the University of St. Andrews. The notion that an invertebrate did it would overturn the books quite a lot.

It's a pretty depressing... Throw away all my bee textbooks. Forget everything you ever knew about whether bees know what zero is. All right, so that's pretty crazy, right? Yeah, and I just have to stop learning new things about animals, I think, because they're all like, hey, did you know that monkeys have, like quantifiably have a soul? Everything now is just like, oh, clams appreciate poetry and... We found a lemur that had read Kant. Yeah.

Give it an opportunity, Rattlestacks will write the most beautiful sonnet you've ever heard. Did you know that all mere cats hold hands and cry as a eulogy is read at their friend's funeral? It's like, I need to know all this. I'm trying to eat him here. I'm trying to eat meerkats. And this is ruining it for me. I'd don't then then then then then then th th th th th th th th th th th th thin th thin thin thin' thin' thin' thin him here. I'm trying to eat mere cats and this is ruining it for me. Come on, I'd eat a mere cat. I don't think I would eat a bear cat. It's a rodent. Give it a little go, come on.

There's got to be some kind of shot they can give me afterwards. Just to make sure everything's fine. Yeah, it's just me in like flea powder or whatever. That's fine. Yeah, it's just, like it's bad enough when they're like, by the way, all the trees feel pain and the weeds cry when you trim them. And also, all of the animals have deep, deep familial relationships. And what am I supposed to be doing here?

So your issue isn't so much with the state of the natural world it's that you keep finding out more about it the way it is? Yes, that's 100% my problem. You're looking at the shadows on the cave wall and someone keeps asking you to turn around and you're saying, fuck off! I'm saying no, I'm trying to look at these shadows. I'm loving these shadows. These are the shadows the shadows the shadows the shadows the shadows the shadows the shadows the shadows the shadows the shadows the shadows the shadows the shadows the shadows the shadows the shadows the shadows the shadows the shadows the shadows the shadows the shadows the shadows the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the state the state the state the state the state the state the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s sadadadoes the the the the the the tha tha. tha. tha. thateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateatta. their their the the the the the the turn around and you're saying fuck off I'm saying no, I'm trying to look at these shadows. I'm loving these shadows. These are dope Oh, these shadows are taking up most of my concentration God Almighty Yeah, no, you just you just keep learning things and they're all like I better stop learning some of this stuff because Starting to get upsetting and then you're like oh, I guess I better go vegan and their like you can't th, th, th, th, th, you th, you th, you th, you th, you th, you th, you th, you th, you th, you th, th, th, th, th, the, the, the, the, the, the' the, the, the, the' the, their the, the, the, the, the, the, the, these these these these these these these these these these these these these these their their th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the, the, the, the, the, the, theat theat, thean, thean, thean, thean, thean, theat theat, theee I better go vegan. And then they're like, you can't do that. You can't do that. All the plants can feel everything that you're doing.

And also, if you eat too much kenoa, you're gonna destroy that South American village. There's nothing to feel good about. That's why the only thing you can eat is the delicious taste of Soilent. This episode is brought to you by Soilent. Every serve of Soilent contains one quarter of your daily allotment of Soilent. Fulant. Fulet is 90% Soilet, 10% ice cold soilet. Made up of a renewable source, 20% bee paste.

You know? Soilant, it's matter. Soilent, it's what you're drinking. It's not a gas. So we've learned that bees manipulate their environment to suit their needs. They can understand abstract mathematical concepts like zero. How much worse can get it, get it, you ask you. Don't worry, we're killing them all with our 5G towers and that will sort the problem

out. Well, maybe, unless they can outsmart the 5G. So this is another press release from RMIT. This is from February last year. Bees have brains for basic maths, according to a study. So, researchers have found bees can do basic mathematics in a discovery that expands our understanding the relationship between brain size and brain power. This feels explicitly like a retort at the tidy brain part from before. Little brains can go all the way up to four.

Which again I can do. Okay, you don't need to brag. It's fine, you're smarter than a bee, maybe. Building on their finding they were qualifying me being smarter than a bee now. Okay. I meant adding forward sizzle for the... This just gets worse. Building on their finding that honeybees can understand the concept of zero,

Australian and French researchers set out to test whether bees could perform arithmetic operations like addition and subtraction. Solving math's problems requires a sophisticated level of cognition involving the complex mental management of numbers, long-term rules, and short-term working memory. The revelation that even the miniature brain of a huddybee, again does sound quite mean, can grasp basic mathematical operations has implications for the future development of artificial intelligence. Does it? That was my thought as well. So all of these stories are framed around the researchers implications in AI and every time I read them.

Why is it always got to be AI man? Come on. Kind of just be cool that bees can do stuff? Yeah. Yeah. This should be B. I'm sure. Hmm. Don't I about all that. that. Led by researchers from RMIT University in Melbourne, Australia. It's a real hive of research activity over there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there. I there. I there. I there. Why there. Why their their their their their is to to to their is their is to to be to always always always always always always always always always always always. Why is always always always always always. Why is always always. Why is always always. Why is to always. Why is to always. Why is to be. Why is to to to to be their is is is is their is is their is their is th. Why is th. Why is th. Why is th. Why is th. Why is th. Why is th. Why is th. Why is th. Why is their is their is an their is an their is their is their is their their their their their their is their their is. Why is their is their is their is their is their is their is th. Led by researchers from RMIT University in Melbourne, Australia. It's a real hive of research activity over there, isn't it? Why do they keep calling it a university? I think it's because this is an American publication. Well, what else would it be? It's an Institute of Technology, Theo?

I mean, I think that is a university, but it's wrong to call it RMIT University I think with the university in all case. Oh well I went to Camber Institute of Technology. This is from RMIT. I went to university? Yes maybe. You're wrong. You're wrong because I went down to the university and I said what's up and they said ho ho! You should just turn around and go home now. So I did not go to university. On account of my brain that is the size of several bees. I mean, this is RMIT, calling it RMIT University, so I would like to retract my correction. Yours can stand. Maybe I don't know.

I think they're having a bit of a wank, that's my take. The new study showed bees can be taught to recognize colors as symbolic representations for addition of subtraction and that they can use this information to solve arithmetic problems. I simply don't believe that. Hmm, you have no idea how crazy this gets. RMIT's associate professor Adrian Dyer said numerical operations like addition and subtraction are complex because they require two levels of processing. You need to be able to hold the rules around adding and subtracting in your long-term memory, Diarray said. On

top of this, our bees also use their short-term memories to solve arithmetic problems as they learn to recognize plus or minus as abstract concepts rather than being given visual aids. Our findings suggest that advanced numerical cognition may be found much more widely in nature among non-human animals than previously suspected. If maths doesn't require a massive brain, there might also be new ways for us to incorporate interactions of both long-term rules and working memory into designs to improve rapid AI learning of new problems. Can't you just say bees are cool? I'm having trouble here with trying to picture how these experiments took place.

Because what if there were a whole bunch of bees in the zone and they were like, I'm pretty sure that bee just went over. They test one B at a time. One B at a time! One B at a time? the. Yeah! Can! Can! Can! Can! Can! Can! Can! Can! Can! Can? B? Can! Can! Can? Can? Can? Can? Can? Can? Can? Can? Can? Can? Can? Can? Can? Can? Can? Can? Can? Can? Can? Can? Can? Can? Can? Can? Can? Can? Can? Can? Can? Can? Can? Can? Can? Can? B? Can? Can? Can? Can? Can? Can? Can? Can? Can? B? B? B? B? B? B? B? B? B? B? B? B? B? B? B? B? B? B? B? B? B? B? B? B? B? B? B! B! B? B! B! B! B! B! B! B! B! B! B? B! B! B! B! B! B! B? B! B! B? B! B? B? B! B! B! B! B? B? B? B! B! B! B? B? B! I. B? B! bees in the zone and they were like, I'm pretty sure that bee just went over. Oh, they test one B at a time. One B at a time! One B at a time. What they do is they set up these little, I think they describe it in the next one. They set up these like Y-shaped chambers where, you know, there at the stem of the Y and then they go but it's one B at a time. Well I'm pretty chilled out so I mainly set up why not Chambers. Hmm well that's very interesting that you do that.

Here's another press release. Here's another press release from RMIT about the same group of researchers from June last year. B's can link symbols to know the the tha, tha of of of of of of of of of t. Well. Well. Well the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tb tb the the the the the tb their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their train train. Well. Well train. Well train. Well train. I train. I tb. tb. train training training training train training training tb. tb. tb. tb. tb. tb. I tb. tb. I they this. So this is another press release from RMIT about the same group of researchers. It's from June last year. Bees can link symbols to numbers. We've learned bees can understand zero and do basic maths. And now a new study shows their tiny insect brades may be capable of connecting symbols to numbers. I'm enjoying that each one of these press releases, like, assumes you have previous knowledge of the RMIT press release extended universe I mean it is a dream if you're just reading these back to back Yeah, remember the bees can understand zero and do basic maths. I do remember that from several minutes ago

Although if you're coming in blind it's like, you thought that bees understanding zero was a trip. Get ready for this. You're like, wait, wait, wait. I've got some processing to do. Researchers have trained honeybees to match a character to a specific quantity, revealing that they are able to learn that a symbol represents a numerical amount. It's a finding that shea theads the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their the the the the the the the the the the the the the- the of the the of the- the- th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the of th. their, th. th. I I I their, th. I th. I the the the the the the the the the the the the the theeeeeeeeanan toean toean thean thean thean thean thean thean theeeeeeeeeeeeee the are able to learn that a symbol represents a numerical amount. It's a finding that sheds new light on how numerical abilities may have evolved over millennia and even opens new possibilities for communication between humans and other species. Awesome. The discovery for the same Australian French team that found bees get the concept zero and could do simple arithmetic, also points to new approaches for bio-inspired computing, blah, blah, oh, fuck off.

The RMIT University-led study is published today in proceedings of the Royal Society B. Now that's the letter B, but imagine if I said it like this. The RMIT University-led study is published today in proceedings of the Royal Society B. I'm just going to say this. Okay. I'm going to state something... I'm gonna make a statement on my own behalf. I'm not speaking for the rest of the podcast. Thank you very much. I have no interest in being taken into a lab, putting a large dock brown type helmet with a bunch of conductors onto my skull and being neurologically linked with a bee to find

out what the bee is thinking. Okay, fine. I'm not interested in that. I don't want it to happen. And if somebody tries to put me up to it, maybe as a prank, I'm going to be steamed. All right, we've got it on record that in the event that that was going to happen, you would not like it to happen. They're talking about cross-species communication with the bee. Just... And you're assuming it's through some sort of like demolition man sex helmet. Yes, yes I am. Well okay how do you picture it happening? I don't know either the bees start speaking English or you start

buzzing. Oh boy. Maybe it's a maybe it's a hunt for Red October type situation where the bees going... B's bzz-bzz bzz bzz. And then the camera goes out of focus. And then it's like, and Alexander wept for he had no more worlds to conquer as it comes back into focus on the B, which is now speaking English. I haven't seen it. It could be a, um... Fucking healthier.

Uh, what's that Mel Brooks movie, we're at the start when they're speaking German, he says, ah, that's enough. We're going to just be speaking to be speaking to be speaking to be speaking to be speaking to be speaking to be speaking to be speaking the the the the the their their their their their their their f. their f. their f. their f. their f. their f. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. thee. thee. thee. thee. thee. thee. thee. thee. thee. thee. thee. thee. the. the. the. the the at the start when they're speaking German he says That's enough. We're going to be speaking English for the rest of the movie It could be a that situation It could be a that situation. You're right Or it could be in Futurama Kiff's parents are two swarms of flying insects and I think they just modulate the buzzing that they do to replicate human speech. Well that's a lot like speaking isn't it? Associate Professor Adrian Dyer said that while humans were the only species to have developed systems to represent numbers like the Arabic numerals we use each day, the research shows the concept can be grasped by brains far smaller than ours.

God. Hey, just leave the bees on work. You're really starting to bring me to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to speak to speak to speak to speak to speak to speak the to speak to speak to speak to speak to speak the the the the their their their speaking speaking speaking speaking speaking speaking their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their spe their speaking their speaking their speaking thea.a. thea.a. thea. thea. speaking speaking speaking speaking thea' thea' thea' their spea' their spea' Hey, just leave the bees on right. Really hammering that point. You're really starting to bring me around to the bees side, you know? We take it for granted once we've learned our numbers as children, but being able to recognize what four represents actually requires a sophisticated level of cognitive ability, Dyer said. Not for me. I don't know what it is about bees that is making everyone so insecure. Seriously, fuck those guys. Jesus. Oh.

Studies have shown primates and birds can also learn to link symbols with numbers, but this is the first time we've seen this in insects. Now birds, there's an animal I can respect. Give me a nice corvid, figuring out a number system or perhaps volume in a container any day of the week. Is that a thing? Birds determining the volume in a container any day of the week. Is that a thing? Birds determining the volume in a container of something? Yeah, yeah. The puzzle from like a third of the way into die hard with a vengeance situation? No, you can watch

a YouTube videos of crows getting presented with like these different tubes with liquid in them and then objects that they can drop in and the objects have like a bunch of different qualities to them like either they sink to the bottom but due to their volume they like force the volume up the up the tube because there's a snack floating on top and they can't reach in unless they drop the right thing into the want, you know. Fascinating. And yet you somehow think that's fine, but this is disgusting. Yeah, because those birds are nice because magpies are my friends and so are crows. Okay. Dyer continues, humans have over 86 billion neurons in our brains, bees have less than a million.

We're separated by over 600 million years of evolution. But if bees have the capacity to learn something as complex as a human-made symbolic language, this opens up exciting new pathways for future communication across species. I'm not putting the helmet on. Okay, I'll put the helmet on. I'd love that. Don't you are not going to like what you see. What? Okay, why do you think I'm going to see? Do you think this will make me see from the bees perspective? I think it's going to reveal something completely terrifying and incomprehensible to you. Kind of a

Bethulu sort of situation. And moving on, the B experiment was conducted by Dr. Scarlet Howard, formerly a PhD researcher in the bio-inspired digital sensing lab at RMI and now a fellow at the Research Center on Animal Condition, the University of Toulouse, the third, Paul Sabatier, CNRS. In a Y-shaped maze, individual bees were traded to correctly match a character with a number of elements. They were then tested on whether they could apply their new knowledge to match the character to various elements of the same quantity in the same way that two can represent two bananas,

two trees, or two hats. I already knew that. You didn't know that. I've seen two bananas and two trees before. But not two hats? Uh, well, I'm not a really big a hat guy. Yeah, fair enough. Yeah, fair enough. Oh yeah, fair enough. Oh, God. So it turns out...

I don't think our brains work real good. Oh. Bees are more comprehensible to us than we would have thought. You know who isn't comprehensible to us? Whomst? The people that think buying a USB stick will stop 5G from killing them. Well, have you managed to stop 5G from killing me yet? From killing you?

I don't know. Because it's on its way. I can't prove a counterfactual, unfortunately. But if you die, we will have known that I failed. Yeah, what if I told you that this rock keeps 5G away? You know, I would like to buy your rock. I would purchase it for 339 Great Bitten, Britain pounds. How much is that? How much is that in real dollars?

Well, it's Great Bitten twice. Great. This is a story. This is a story. 627 AUD. So thank you very much. This is a story from... Sorry, sorry, sorry. Just give me that back again. 627 Australian dollars for a USB stick. Well, it's a special one.

Yeah, it is. But what's the storage capacity on that, bad boy? Oh, you'll also hear that. Okay, let's go. I'll save that for a twist. Uh, so this is from the BBC. Uh, don't know what that stands for, we're not going to look into it. And this is...

Big... Big... B. B. P. Pulling apart a 339 pound anti-55 USB stick. That is, as Theo said, 627 Australian dollars, try and hold that number in your mind for this story. Just before you go on, can I say one thing? I would love for you so much.

The rollout of the new 5G mobile networks began in the UK only last summer and has not yet reached outside urban areas. Yet across the country there is already a cottage industry offering protection against the supposed negative health effects even though they have been dismissed by regulators and mainstream scientists. The 5G BioShield was recommended by a member of Glastonbury Town Council's 5G advisory committee which is called for an inquiry to 5G. One of nine external members Toby Hall said we use this

device and find it helpful helpful and provided a link to its website which described it as a USB key that quote provides protection for your home and family thanks to the wearable holographic nanolayer catalyzer which can be worn or placed near to a smartphone or any other electrical radiation or EMF emitting device. Through a process of quantum oscillation the 5G bioshield USB key balances and reharmonizes the disturbing frequencies arising from the electric fog induced by devices such as laptops, cordless phones, Wi-Fi, tablets, etc. Oh boy, the, the disturbing frequencies, what. Oh boy. The, uh, the,

the disturbing frequencies, what are we talking about? An album by sleep called Dope Smoker? Hmm. Um, have you... Now, Ben, are you a fan of the TV show Nathan for You? I have watched a few clips from a few episodes but never a full episode in my life. Now, number one, can I please implore you to watch all of it?

You can implore me all you want. Because it goes so much further than that, and it's absolutely incredible. Wife of the show, my wife Elner and I watch a whole bunch of it, there's four seasons. Apparently part of the reason that it didn't get renewed beyond the fourth season was because I think it was Comedy Central were not happy with how long it took Nathan Fielder to produce the show. And that's because when you actually watch the show and you start to consider for even a moment the logistics that must be involved with the things that he has done is just mind bending. But there was an episode I was watching recently where he had a guy in that he was, you know,

every single time that he requires people to be involved in one of the schemes that he's doing, he puts an ad on Craigslist and he gets Craigslist people to come and do the thing. And he's talking to a guy who has this thing. It looks like, it looks like the remote control of my reverse cycle air conditioner that is just kind of on the table in front of him. And as they're talking this guy's kind of, he occasionally picks this thing up and is sort of moving it around. And at some stage Nathan is like, uh, what's that? And the guy's like, oh, um, this is, uh, this is my wellness meter. And he's like, oh, um,

this is, uh, this is my wellness meter." And he's like, okay, what does that do? And the guy goes on to explain that it has, it's like a little portable biocharger NG that you can like set a little program on and say this is how you would like to feel and it will cast an aura up to about kind of two feet. Oh, so it's like a reverse mood ring. Yeah, yeah, and it will change the way you feel so you can say this is how I would like to feel and all that sort of, and to me the sort of true genius of Nathan for you as a show is that he can see a thing like that and ask a very innocuous question about it. And when presented, with an answer like, well, this USB stick, through its holographic sticker, is warning off the negative effects of 5G, can just maintain a completely normal

face and say, okay, please tell me more about your magical USB stick. And that is the reason everybody should watch Nathan for you. That man's ability to not like break at stuff that he's watching is I think some sort of superpower. There's there is one episode where, um, is's like... Is it the PS1? No, it's, uh, on a previous episode, they have had a security guard who could not stop looking at big-titty ladies

in a store that he was doing like a scheme with. And they've bought him back for an episode where they try to pitch a reality TV show about this security guard who is like, a bad security guard, but his one weakness is the the thia, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, the, uh, uh, th weakness, uh, uh, uh, th weakness, thi, uh, thi, thi, thi, the thi, the their, their, their, their, uh, uh, uh, thi, uh, their, their, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, the, the, the, the, the, th, th, th, th, the th, th, the th, th, the the the th, th, the the the the the the the th the th th thi, thi, thi, the the thi, the thi, thi, thi, thi, the thi, thi, their, thi, their thi, thi, thi, thi, the the thithey try to pitch a reality TV show about this security guard who is like A badass security guard, but his one weakness is big tittied ladies And they do the whole episode right and then the last two minutes of the episode they're driving back from the television Studios office where they have just been turned down from the fully produced pilot that they have presented and the security guards in the car and he says yeah I guess they just weren't into it I don't know maybe I should have put on my Elvis costume or something and just without without any form of tell

whatsoever Nathan driving the car just says, you have an Elvis costume? And he's like, yeah, you want to see me do a dance in it? And he's like, yes. And the next shot is Nathan Fielder sitting on a couch in this guy's home as he like, breathlessly does a dance in his full Elvis costume. The show blows my mind because you have to think about everything that happens between every shot that you're seeing. Like he would have had to say to this guy.

Yes, I would like to see you dance in your Elvis costume. And then they had to go to the guy's house with a film crew. And Nathan had to sit on the guy's couch and wait for him in another room to get the the the to the to the to get to the to the to house with a film crew and Nathan had to sit on the guy's couch and wait for him in another room to get changed and then he had to sit through the, I'm assuming, three minute long dance to like all shook up or whatever the fuck. Just to get like five seconds of footage at the end of the show. And that's beautiful, beautiful stuff. The man's commitment to broadcasting is incredible. It's absolutely staggering, and I would highly recommend to anybody who is interested

in the show to watch all four seasons of it, and the season four finale, Finding Francis, which is a 80-minute long episode in which he helps a Bill Gates impersonator from a previous show, find a long-l lost love from 70 years prior. I have actually watched all of that weirdly. Oh my god. It's incredible. So 5G USB sticks with holograms on them that fix all your problems and it can be had for the low low sum of $670 something dollars there?

Well, look, it gets even cheaper because if you buy three of them... And there's no reason you wouldn't. There's literally no reason why you wouldn't buy three. It'll cost you about $1,780 Australian dollars. Did we establish what the range on these bad boys is? We will go into that in a second. Actually, I don't know if they say they say they say they say they say they say they say they say they say they say they say they say they say they say they say they say they say they say they say they say they say they say they say they say they say they say they say they say they say they say th th th th that is th that that is that is that's th th th th th th th th th th th th th that's th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi to get to to that to to that that to to to that that's that's the thi thi thi thi thi thi thi bad boys is? We will go into that in a second. Actually, I don't know if they say it in this article, but when I was looking it up, they say it's four meters when plugged in, 20 meters,

sorry, four meters when plugged in, 20 meters when plugged in. Oh, so when not plugged in and completely unpowered. It still works, yes. That's good to know. But yeah, I'm assuming that like if you want your family to be safe when they're out of the house. Everyone's got to have one. Yeah, it stands to reason. At first sight, it seems to be just that. A USB key with just 128 megabytes of storage.

Where are you even buying? That's like, that's the the final insult right that like it must be that must be literally the smallest amount of memory you can put on USB key. I feel like you have to go out of your way yes right now to buy a new 128 megabyte. Yeah it probably it probably costs more for them to go like no can you make it smaller than that. I needed to be more useless please. Yeah enough that it registers when you put into your computer but not so much that you could hold a single J-Pig on there. I was about to say I feel like a 128 megabyte USB key would cost the exact same amount as like a 16 gigabyte

US for sure. Yes absolutely this must be like a pile of unsold chips that they're trying to get rid of. Slap a little sticker on it and you're good to go. So what's different between it and a virtually identical, quote, crystal USB key available from various supplies in Shenz and China for around five pound per key? asks Ken Monroe, whose company, Pentest Partners, specializes in taking part consumer electronic products to spot security vulnerabilities.

Ah, well, that would be the wearable holographic nanolayer, I believe. Yeah, the BBC has phrased that slightly differently. The answer appears to be a circular sticker. Now, we're not 5G quantum experts, but said Stooker looks remarkably like one available on sheets from stationary supplies for less than a penny each, he says. Mr. Munro proceeded to dismantle the USB key to find out if there were any whiz-bang electronics inside, but all he found was an LED light on the circuit board, similar to those on any other USB key. A search in Company's light on the circuit board, similar to those on any other USB

key. A search in Cuppies' house shows the two directors at Bioshield Distribution are, oh Christ, Anna Krochewalska and Valerio Legesa. Both of them appear to have been involved previously in a business called Immortalus. Who sells a dietary supplement called Clotho Formula. Its website... This is going to have my Clotho Formula. Its website, rather similar in design to that of the bioshield,

says Clotho Formula uses a proprietary procedure that leads to relativistic time dilation and biological quantum entanglement at the DNA level. I can never remember if quantum entanglement is good or bad. I gotta go back and watch those Marvel movies again. I love a scam that goes big. Like, they don't have to do that, right? No, they could just say it's good vibes. Yeah.

It gives you good vibes and that makes you healthy, but instead they've been a time lord. It makes you become you you you you th you be th you be thia thia thia thia thia thi thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thoom, thi, thi, thoom, thoom, thoom, thoom, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thin, thin, thin, a time lord. Well, they could have done what the guy from Nathan Fueh did, well, whoever sold him that thing did, and say, hey, if you're within like two feet of this thing, you might feel nice. But instead they've said, you will become an immortal from the Highlander. You can only be killed if someone separates your head from your body. Well that is a sweet deal.

Miss Grotter-Welskirt told BBC News her company was the sole global distributor of the 5G BioShield but it did not manufacture or own the product. We are in possession of a great deal of technical information with plenty of backup historical research she said. As you can understand we are not authorized to fully disclose all this sensitive information to third parties for obvious reasons. Of course not, and I wouldn't want you to. She rejected the suggestion selling a five-pound product for more than 300 pounds.

In regard to the cost analysis your research... How also I'm going to get my 300 pounds? It's very reasonable. I need a bigger TV. In regard to the cost analysis your research has produced, I believe that the lack of in-depth information will not drive you to the exact computation of our expenses and production costs, including the cost of IP rights and so on, she said. It is therefore hard to take your evaluation seriously since you have evidently not researched the background facts in any meaningful way.

Damn. Damn. Mr. Hall said his remarks in Glastonbury Town Council's 5G Advisory Committee report should not be seen as a recommendation to buy the product, but he had no regrets about buying it and since plugging it in had felt beneficial effects including being able to sleep through the night and having more dreams. Phr-puh. I also felt a calmer feel to the home, he told BBC News, and he had thought the company might be able to develop a system that could offer protection to the whole town of Glastonbury

against the effects of radiation from electromagnetic fields. Oh, I assume you would tape a whole bunch of these together into one super USB stick. Yeah, maybe put them all on a tower. Yeah, plug a whole bunch of them into a hub, you know? It's an anti 5G tower. Yeah. God damn. I have to piss real bad.

I'm so sorry. I think I'm going to die if I don't. So we're going to take a little 30-second break here. OK, here it is. I'll play. I. I. I. I. I. I. Some audio from the bee reel. Oh, oh my goodness. Okay, here it is. I'll play it now. B- to be able to produce that kind of sound, you know? Uh-huh. I think Biden straight up shit himself on camera. Oh, that's pretty good, huh?

Big, wet, stinky fart for the old man. That's all gonna go great, isn't it? All of those, like, tweets that the Trump's account is doing, that just absolutely, fucking nail Biden every time with zero effort whatsoever. God, it's so funny how absolutely fucked they are. Biden's like, my mask projects leadership and they're all like, nice mask, pussy. Like, okay. All right.

Oh boy. But all the t-shirts that were like, you ain't, the hashtag you ain't black. They're saying, oh mama. Yeah. It's a bad time. And what timing too. What great timing.

Yeah, yeah. What with everything? Yep. And Amy Klobuchar is being vetted for the for the VP role and she's come out to say, Ah, what a regretful officer involved killing. Yeah. Cool. Don't look any into his history or my history. You don't, don't do that. You don't want to know about that. You don't want to know.

I'm back. All right. Hey, hey. Oh, God, that feels good. OK, I got this. All right. We told you piss out of both. Okay, so obviously you might have some questions, you know, about the...

No, none from me. All right, well, I think we've covered all the facts. The listener might have some questions about the... Fuck, what's this even called? The BioShield? FiveG Bioshield. I'm already placing my orders before the listener gets to hear about this, so that ideally they'll run out and I can like resell them at a profit, but as long as I've kept, you know, a good handful to tape together and protect

my family. Oh, of course. I'm not an idiot. I don't have a brain of a B. Well, for the listener that might have some questions. We've had a little look at the FAQ section of their website and I think this will basically cover everything. So first question here, can I just unplug it while the laptop is on without causing any damage or do I need to shut it down first?

Their answer, as the key contains files for education, it is indeed recommended to shut it down first. Oh, the education files. So you've got to make sure you do the safely eject thing because of the education files. The education files. So you've got to make sure you do the safely eject thing because of the education files. Is the implication that you will stop receiving education if you don't shut it down properly? Because I mean, all that the education files will be gone. I think they're just telling you not to corrupt the USB stick because I think there are actually some like PDFs and shit on there you can open up which makes this even weirder to me.

Does 5G BioShield USB key work with 3G, 4G and Wi-Fi as well? The 5G BioShield is a full spectrum protection from all harmful ionized and non-ionized radiation. It harmonizes all harmful frequencies into life-affirming frequencies. Oh, that must explain why that guy was sleeping so good. Because they're life-affirming. I think it was life-affirmed, having nice dreams. Does that mean you can't use Wi-Fi or we've got it plugged in? Oh, well, let me answer your question with another question. Does the... highly unorthodox? Usually you just do the

answer but no this is fine. Does the 5G BioShield USB key block Wi-Fi in the house? It doesn't block, it transmutes. It harmonizes all harmful frequencies into life-affirming frequencies. The intensity of radiation is not changed by our device, nor does it change the quality of connection and speed of data transfer. So your Wi-Fi won't be changed. It'll just be transmuted. Your ping will stay fine. I believe your Wi-Fi will become the spirit of the Holy Ghost. It'll become good Wi-Fi. Does the thickness of the walls affect the function of 5G bio-shield USB key? Of course not, material does not matter.

Well I mean that's truly a statement for the ages. I like that it's so adamant they're sort of chastising themselves for asking themselves a question. Of course not. Do you have the brain of a bee? I think the walls can stop this USB key with a sticker on it. Dip shit. How does one know the 5G bioshield USB key is on and working? It is always on and working. That's why we used quantum nanolayer technology.

Oh, they've got us there. And here is the final question from the FAQ. Would the 5G BioShield affect in any way my husband's pacemaker? No. Will, will the, will the, will the 5G bioshield kill my vibe? I, I feel like I've got to backtrack, okay? Shield kill my vibe. I I feel like I've got to backtrack okay I've got to come back around and ask a question on a more basic level which is is the entire proposition here that merely possessing the 5g bioshield USB stick just transforms all bad signals into good vibes. Yes, 100% and that

it's not actually kind of it's it's not meant to be like broad it's not like a Wi-Fi dongle I guess that's what I'm asking it's not yes to like actually be doing anything you just plug it in it has some PDFs on it that say nice feelings and then you imagine that say, nice feelings. And then you imagine that something is happening, and you go to your meeting at the council and say, we should all spend several hundred pounds on the make-fuel good stick.

Yes. Okay. So they stress as well that you don't have to charge it up, doesn't need to be regularly plugged in or anything like that. Well, they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they th th th th th th th that that that that that that that, thi. thi. thi. the. the. the. the. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. to to to to to to to to to to to thee. the. the. the. the. the. th regularly plugged in or anything like that? Well, they also say that you can use it without it being connected to anything. So plugging it in is only to extend the range. Otherwise you can indefinitely keep it unplugged in your pocket and it will be fine. Pretty cool. So you sound unconvinced to the... So many of these, like these scams that we've done lately with this and the biocharger NG...

Biocharger NG and the 5G like, um, hysteria and stuff. Like, I just... There are a lot of complicated things out there, but... EMF is not one of them. It's not like some great mystery that has harmonized waves or good vibes or anything like that. It's like, it's one of the natural phenomenon that's closest to like just basic maths that you can imagine. There's not, like, there's not even that much you can make out

of this. Like anybody with the very like briefest, narrowest understanding of EMF will understand like that all of this stuff is just bullshit right like that like that like choose a different scam I don't just this I mean it's working for them it's not that it's not that I was gonna say here's my counter to this why choose a different scam if people are paying several hundred pounds for your USB stick with a sticker on it. It's just wiggly air, guys. There's nothing to it. Spicy air.

The vibes are neither good nor bad. So let's have a look, you know, it's easy for us to sit here and knock their well-researched science or whatever. But how about we see what the people actually think, the people that have used the product. Here is some reviews on the website, some testimonials. This one's from Chris. I would like to say that this is an incredible product. I noticed my field-reaching coherence and eliminating the frantic energy. Most importantly it has enabled me to access a higher vibration and help the pineal gland.

I'm more intentional and in touch with others on a non-verbal level. I think he's describing the plot of from beyond but in a nice way. I got a big from beyond head here. Got a big Stuart Gordon fan in the house. Where I live there is Wi-Fi and 4G everywhere. And your bioshield is making it bearable. All of you who have developed this have done an incalculable service to humanity. Damn, thank you, Chris.

Incalculable service to humanity. Thank you for this USB stick. You are better than Abraham Lincoln. We have a child sticker on it. I don't know if selling something to people for hundreds and hundreds of dollars counts isn't in calculable. Hey, this sort of research is free. It feels quite calculable. How much do you think it costs to buy that many USB sticks?

Barely anything. Several dollars. This is a testimonial from Natalie. I received the 5G Bioshield USB key, and it's beautiful. I am so grateful for this technology. Thank you. It's beautiful? It's an embossed USB stick. I've got to look one of these up. I'm going to actually see the product. It's got some sort of heraldic device engraved on it.

While you're looking that up, here's another testimonial from Daniela. I plugged the bioshield key in at work. There's a lot of extra spaces in here. And it seems to clear the energy of the place around my desk. One minute and a half after I plugged it, I felt something wrong disappeared in the air. The people I work with seems to be more happy and they laugh more. The ambience is more serene. You know what? I took a strong position at the start of the show and I would like to revise it.

Bees are smarter than people. Yep, absolutely. This last estimate was from Tom. Tom says, I must say that my dreams have become very harmonic since I started to use the 5G bio-shield. What does that even mean, Tom? Well, they're very harmonic. He's having a harmonic. No. So I was going to say, he's having a dream about the pervert from Blues Traveler. Yep. Now I was expecting this to be just something like, a small scam, right? But if you Google it, there is, fucking, there's like hundreds of people talking about like buying this. There's like blogs, there's testimonials.

It's on like the verge. This is...people are not doing so good with having thoughts that work. It's a lot of that going around, I feel. I'm not enjoying this. Although their site, I think, is probably down because of possibly... High demand? High demand? Good God.

Good God. Well, hopefully you can find it from other retailers if you're absolutely fanging to have your dreams become harmonic and whatever. Oh shit, they've cut the price. It's down to 283 great bit and pounds. And how much does that work out to in the good old-fashioned Aussie dollar? That's got to be at least 900. You can have that for the low, low price of $523 and 88 cents.

And the 88 is specific reference to the racist thing. Oh boy. Well, that's distressing. Hmm, good scam if you can pull it off though. Yeah, which they are. Because there's no law against this. And they never will be. Apparently there's no law against people whatever the fuck they want to buy. I'll buy you rock.

I believe that that is all we want to buy. And I'll buy you a rock. I believe that that is all we have time for on this week's edition of Scamwatch. And also the entire episode. That's factual. That's something a bee wouldn't understand. But I do. Most of us officially smarter than bees. You heard it here first. Yep, you wouldn't see a bee reading the first third of Ulysses.

When are you planning on doing those other two-thirds? I figure at this pace, 20, what are we now, 2020. Yeah. Um, never. That's it folks. Thanks for tuning in. Thank you for listening to our bonus episodes, which I think we're going to keep free to the public for a little while longer at Ben's insistence, because he's a big bleeding heart lefty. That's me, unlike all the other conservative people on this podcast. That's right. I'm gonna taste it a good life. Yeah. So thank you for tuning in if you're listening just on the old free feed.

Thank you for subscribing if you're listening on the patron feed. Thank you again if you're listening to both feeds and this is the second time you've heard the episode. Yeah, well done time you've heard the episode. Yeah well done to you. Honestly that's an achievement. Yeah and if it is sounding familiar at this point it's the same episode. Honestly you've taken too long to realize something has gone wrong. You might have a bad case with Bee Brain. Sorry to hear about it. But hey at least you understand zero and can do simple addition and subtraction. That's right. So thanks folks, and we will see you next week.

Bye-bye. Bye. Bye. I have to piss real bad I'm so sorry I think I'm going to die if I don't know if I don't. So I have to piss real bad I'm so sorry I think I'm going to die if I don't so so we're going to take a little 30-second break here I'll be right back.