Boonta Vista - UNLOCKED BONUS EPISODE: Are You There Hog? It's Me, Brian Doyle-Murray

Episode Date: February 8, 2021

It's Freemium Freebruary! Bonus episodes will be free for the month of February to help you decide if this is something you want or if it is, frankly, just too much. *** Andrew, Theo, and Ben discuss the conflicting prognostications of North America's groundhogs, the taxonomy of MILFs, and the world's littlest big-dick lizard. *** Support our show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista *** Email the show at [e-mail]! Call in and leave us a question or a message on 1800-317-515 to be answered on the show! *** Twitter: twitter.com/boontavista Website: boontavista.com Merchandise: boontavista.com/merchandise Twitch: twitch.tv/boontavista

Hello and welcome to another bonus episode of Buntavista. Luckily this is a bonus episode and probably not the first episode that you'd heard, so you kind of know what you're getting into with these intros. I'm Theo, as always, and we're here in the hallway of effects or dreams. That's right, my friends. I'm on 150 milligrams daily of the Satan's piss in a capsule known as Venlefaxine, as I assume about like 30% of our leadership is as well. And while it has changed my life for the better, it is also made by dreams extremely whack. As we trace our way down the gleaming white hallway of effects or dreams,

we pass at a door labeled Friday the 29th of January. And looking through the peeper, we can see Andrew and Ben seated within a glossy white room, already suited up in full VR kits. Let's jack in and see what they can see. And boy, you have any questions as you travel through the land of dreams, please speak up. You awake to a beautiful spring day day, to a beautiful, to be, to be a beautiful, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tooome, tooom woomorrow, tooomorrow, the the too, too, too, too, the the the the the the the the the the the the their, the their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the theol., the, the., theoliolioliolu., toooom., tooomorrow, tooomorrow, tooomorrowed., tooomorrowed. the the the the the the the, You awake to a beautiful spring day and are walking the grounds of a nondescripted university with a colleague who shall remain anonymous. Someone loses control of their skateboard and it meanders across to you.

You cheerfully and coolly kick it back. You make your way past the wildlife reserve, beside the duck ponds before climbing a mound of grass and arriving alongside a dirt road. Looking to the right, you can see that the dirt road leads to a nuclear reactor, our destination. When you reach the power station, you arrive with a number of other students within the foyer of the reactor. Also here is a lady who appears to be in her late 50s with overflowing, calm in San Diego style hair, except grey instead of red. She gives an impression of kindness and erudition and is clear that she's a mentor to the students, but especially to you. The first floor foyer features panoramic glass and gives a wide view of the countryside. While you are looking out to the landscape beyond, the sky begins to fill with what appears

initially to be distant and coordinated flocks of birds or insects. The flocks draw closer almost immediately, and it's quickly apparent that they are alien and malevolent, pulling into figures of flesh and metal before pulling apart again. You do not wait for the flocks to hit before fleeing to the level above. You find yourselves darting from cubicle to cubicle in some sort of administration center. It's not clear whether you're alone or with friends. What is clear is that the alien stalk the hoists persistently and you need to continue ducking between desks with only the briefest moment to appreciate personal effects at each. This goes on for a long, terrifying while. Eventually you devise some form of trap for the aliens, which is quickly and vaguely set within the office halls,

and you flee before the rooms beyond. The trap quickly ensnares a figure. The figure falls through a hole in the floor and slides all the way down through the office structure. We zoom out to see the structure is floating hundreds of feet above the reactor core and the trapped figure shoots out the bottom before being quickly caught in a mechanical arm constructed as part of the trap. You, the protagonist of the dream, are too distant, caught in a see the figure caught by the arm, but we, the viewers, see that is ensnared the erudite woman. Viewing the struggle through a distant pane of glass, you tragically hit the activate flame-thrower button, believing you have scored a victory against, versus an alien indictor, and the deed is done. You find yourself in the streets beyond the reactor, having somehow escaped. It's clear that some time is past and a battle continues to bitterly rage in and around the reactor.

Our weary university colleague, proud to announce that he has created a device which will allow you to succeed in your plan. The two of you silently hop in your weathered, jungle green Ford Taurus and start the engine. Now you're on the dirt path leading to the reactor, heading as fast as the tourist will take you towards a dirt ramp aimed at the side of the reactor. Just as you launch and brace for impact, your colleague activates his device and you, he and the car phased through the wall, finding yourselves in the car still but now careening through dark ventilation passages filled with hanging cables. You can do nothing but clasp each other's hands like Thelma and Louise before you burst through the final ventilation wall into the gaping abyss of the reactor core, briefly frozen in mid-air before plunging directly into the glowing center. A bird's eye view shows the resulting nuclear explosion in ridiculous command and conquer-style

16-bit. As the explosion reaches up, we get a picture and picture view, again in low-fi 16-bit of individual aliens being blasted back to their skeletons before collapsing. Each alien blasted causes your score to tick over. One skeleton ends up compressed to an inch high and a mild wide, this scores extra points. The credits roll and you exit the movie theater. The movie was, for some reason, idled, Inviolate Pleasure. You need to take a shit, but the mall's open plan toilet block is bizarre and only features urinals. You end up in line at a McDonald's that looks like it's in an army cafeteria, placing your order with staff through a portal in the canvas. A friend from school asks you if the

paddies here are any good and you tell them, I don't know. The VR sets lift towards the ceiling and Andrew and Ben blink in the light before looking down at terminals in front of them. The terminals simply ask, normal and ask for a response. Um, well, um, well, so I mean, how often are you seeing a Ford Taurus in your life? Never. I don't think we get those over there. I think that's a special import to the that. I don't. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I that, I that, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't that, that, that, th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I don't that, I don't that, I don't that, I don't that, I don't that, I don't thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi that, I that, I that, I mean, how often are you seeing a Ford Taurus in your life? Never. I don't think we get those over here. I think that's in the US.

Especially important to my dream. Yeah, I mean, like, I'm sure I've seen a Ford Taurus. Is the car that you saw in your dream? Did you just know that it was a Ford Taurus? Or did you just know that it was both specifically a Ford the Ford thororor what I mean? Both, both. So it was both specifically a Ford Taurus and it looked, you know, it's got the kind of rounded side of look. I think it's in like cop shows and stuff, right? Yeah, the ugly, the ugly American sedan that all their cars look like to somebody.

Yeah, and God hates. Why do they look like that? they're very. they look. they look. they look. th. th. th. th. th. the. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. tho. tho. that. tho. tho. the the the kind the kind the kind the kind th. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the a dream where they were saying, I was in a house, it wasn't my house but it was playing my house in the dream. Oh, I like that. So it wasn't like a car that you saw in your brain said that car is a four-tourist. I mean, it wasn't say a day we were pretending to be a Ford Taurus. Yeah. That's interesting. this this this this this this th. this th. this th. th. th. this might th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi th. th. It th. It wasn't th. It wasn't th. It wasn't th. It wasn't th. It wasn't was was was th. It was was th. It was was was th. It was was was was th. It was was was was was th. It was was was was was th. It was was th. It was was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It wasn't. It wasn't. It wasn't. It wasn't. It wasn't. It wasn't like. It wasn't like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like a the the the the the the the the the tourist. Yeah. Hmm. That's interesting. Also this might be, and correct me if I'm wrong, the very first time the word erudition has ever been used on this podcast. Yeah, or in any context whatsoever. That is also true. I'm just jamming on the button on the terminal that says show me more of the common San Diego Milf. She's dead now. She's toasty. The whole body dumped into the reactor.

I don't think there was any sort of milf indication given there in the words that we used. Oh. OK. Like a great-a-mid, middle-aged, Carmen, San Diego. The only reason I kind of, I'm hesitant is because she also kind of gives the impression that she never had kids, sort of as a lifestyle choice. Oh, sure.

So she might just be a, like a woman that you would like to have sex with less so than a milf. Yeah. A wills were. Just a willf. Wilf, yeah. Just a regular old wolf. I am.

I think milf kind of imports something to do with age though, doesn't it? It certainly does, yes. It's not like you're looking at someone on one of the, on the television program, teen mums and saying that's a milf. Well I'm sure that I've spoken about this on the podcast before but I think that the term milf is used too widely in pornography. There's clearly a lot of people that has applied to who have not had children they're just... You gotta get yourself on that um standards committee the ISO for porn on yes yes whatever they're like I tripleC or whatever is for what terms you can use in board

I want to bring truth back to the homemade section This isn't amateur at all. Yeah, no, it needs to be like, you know how you can't call it champagne unless it comes from the specific region in France. We need that kind of milk unless they have I don't even think it needs We need that kind of like... You can't call them a milf unless they have. I don't even think it needs, you need to have carried a baby to term necessarily, but that you have provided a maternal influence in someone's life. Yeah, it's not on board. Oh wow. Okay, no, no, that's fair.

You're taking a more hardline impression on this one, so you're saying that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's a that's a that's a that's amother who's a milf. You could be a foster, a foster parent who's a milf. You could have had a child for only, you know, six months or a year as part of a foster situation could still be a milf. You could be a milf. A fmilf, yes. A filf. A filf. A filf. I would enjoy having dinner with. Yeah. So, how many options are there on the screen where we're being asked normal? Is it just yes or no?

No, no, no. So in the situation? Five, like five discrete options. There's not a, like a, a like a scale kind of thing. This is very normal, somewhat normal, normal, not very normal, very not normal. Which is a construction that makes a lot of sense to people when you're conducting research. Would you describe this is very not normal? Strongly very not normal? Do strongly agree with the proposition that this is not particularly normal. How strongly do you or do you not agree with the

normalness or not normalness of the scenario that you have just seen? I think the least normal thing about this to me is that I think I think it might be because I'm being woken up constantly by the baby that I can actually remember my dreams and also put like a narrative thread through them now, which I never used to, like my dreams used to always just be like these troped up, like vignettes that never really started anywhere or went anywhere. And I don't know whether that's normal? I am, when I was taking Zyprexa, my dreams would seem to have one continuous narrative arc for an extraordinarily long amount of time.

And what's Zyprexa? That was the, it's like a anti-psychotic slash mood stabilizer. Yeah, like a lot of the mood stabilizers, apparently this is what they do. They're also supposed to make you not horny as well, which is unfortunately, unfortunately, unfortunately, unfortunately, unfortunately, unfortunately, unfortunately, unfortunately, unfortunately, unfortunately, unfortunately, unfortunately, unfortunately, unfortunately, unfortunately, unfortunately, unfortunately, unfortunately, to, thi, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the, to the, to to to to to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to to to this is what they do. They're also supposed to make you not horny as well which is unfortunately not kicked in. It was hard for me to tell because I was already very depressed. Honestly wouldn't know. Also it's it's funny that you know you're saying that probably people are used to this intro format because this is a bonus episode, so it wouldn't be too rough an introduction to the podcast for them. This is of course the month that we're doing the bonus episodes for free.

This will be the first one that is publicly available. Well at least they know they know Oh shit my therapist listens to the show. I'm sorry, is that true? Well, it came out. It came anything anything anything anything anything anything anything anything anything anything anything anything anything anything anything anything anything anything anything anything anything anything anything anything anything anything anything anything anything? They they? They they? They they? They they th? They th? th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th tho thi thi? too too tho tho th too too too too too too too too too tho tho th. th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th too th too too too too too too too too too too too to be to be to be to to to to to to too to too to too to too to too too too too too thoooooo tho th show. I'm sorry? Is that true? Well, it came out, I got anything going on or whatever, blah, I'm like, I'm going to do the podcast. Oh, you do a podcast, yeah, okay. Wait, were you talk about I got to do the podcast and you said in a sad voice? Um, no, that was, that was an embarrassed you don't want to tell you thu for us. That's different. Being ashamed of a podcast is very natural. Yeah. So people ask me all the time what do I do for a living and I'm like, oh you know. He's ain't nothing. This and that. A few things here are there. Odd jobs. And you'd be telling the truth.

They are odd jobs. That's true. Now as we've discussed many times on the show when somebody from your real life says to you in a like vaguely apologetic tone, oh I haven't been keeping up with the podcast, you say great. It's simpler this way. Yep, continue doing that. No wass. I am. I simply don't have dreams because I have been taking... Oh yeah, that's right.

I remember when I quit and for like a week, miserable. You're just like, what's happening? Absolutely miserable. I'm seeing all these images and themes in my brain when I close my eyes. Man, weed does not stop my dreams in the slightest. Really? Yeah, I think it's a fight between the enormous quantities of weed that I have in my th. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, the, the, the, the, the, the, th, the, the, the, the, that's, that's, the, the, the, the, the, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's the, I's the, the, theateateateateateat, thr-a''a'a'a'eateateateateat, thr-I's thr-I's thr-I's thr-I's theateat? Yeah, I think it's a fight between the enormous quantities of weed that I have in my life and my sleep apnea and the sleep apnea is winning baby. Oh, just keeping you just awake enough. Just awake enough to have dreams about drowning all night, yes. So Theo, just with what you were saying about your beautiful baby boy waking you up. I wonder if that's related all to like, um,

pardon me, if you're trying to get into like the whole lucid dreaming type thing, the deal is that you're supposed to set an alarm and wake yourself up like an hour or two before you normally wake up and it's that point when you go back to sleep at which you will have the most vivid dreams. I feel like even if I was lucid dreaming I would still th, like like like like like like like th, like th, like th, like th, like th, like th, like th, like th, like th, like th, like th, like th, like th, like th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi thi thi thi thi, thi thi to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thi thi thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thru thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi to sleep at which you will have the most vivid dreams. I feel like even if I was lucid dreaming I would still have no agency. Just in the dreams that I would have. Because it'd be like like your normal life. Last night had a dream, I won't make it that long, but I was doing an exam and the like

last question, or like the whole last segment was written in like this handwriting that I couldn't read. And like, I'm like, I, so I'd done the whole thing and it just run out of time. I was just like, like what on the paper? Anyway, so I was walking to high school and I ran into the professor and I was like, why'd you do that? And he's like, oh, you're just feeling like this? Why'd you do that? And he's like, oh, you're just feeling like this because you're powerless, so you have

no power of the situation. You want me to change the outcome. I'm like, yes. I don't want to be back here. I don't think your brain's made to tell you stuff that directly in the thing. I don't feel like... I don't feel like...

Anyway, day and night, I get no rest. Oh, well you're on the, you are on the not quite enough sleep system. Boy, howdy. Good, you're on NQE. So this is a bit of a, it's not related to anything at all. So you know we use a little... Perfect segue. Thanks very much. We use a little app here for recording out the podcast we're doing right now and it lets

you type in a little name. Theo, you've got your name intrusive thought now. Oh, because I saw it, I thought, oh, that's short for Cump. Um, I guess I was wrong about that. I think that was a song by the band from the 1990s, the President of the United States of America. He's cump. He's in my the the the the the th. He's come. He's cump. He's cump. He's cump. He's cump. He's in th. He's in th. He's in th. He's in th. He's in th. He's cump. He's th. He's th. He's thum. He's th. He's th. He's cump. He's th. th. th. th. thu. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. He th. He th. He th. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. He's. He's. He's. He's cump. He's cump. He's cump. He's cump. He's cump. He's cump. He's cump. He's cump. He's cump. He's cump. He's cump. He's cump. He's cump. He's cump. He's cump. He's cump. He's cump. He's cump. He's cump. He's cump. He's cump. He's cump. He's cump. He's cump. He's cump. He's c my hair. Well, my goodness. Speaking of the not quite enough sleep system. Hey, you did it. That takes us to this.

I gotta make it harder next time. Well, we'll get that. This brings us to this nation corner rubber crab sniffed my dear You ever just having a big wild ass dream about nuclear reactors and you get woken up by a lot of noise around your borough constantly yeah yeah and you're thinking what the fuck what the fuck is that? You're thinking to yourself? Uh, And you get woken up by a lot of noise around your burrow. Constantly. Yep. And you're thinking, what the fuck? What the fuck is that? You're thinking to yourself, you get out of your little bed. I'm assuming there's little beds in there.

A little fall post of bed inside your burrow. Inside your burrow. You make your way up the tunnel. First you unlatched the dead bolt and then you slide across the little chain and then you open the knob pull open the for some reason complete wooden door that you have there kept it well locked there's a whole bunch of people stand around with cameras being like hey hey how much more winter is there going to be and that's not how anybody likes to be woken up I don't think

I did have omens importance on this one. well it's the be woken up, I don't think. Ben, would you like to be working on that? I did have omens importance on this one. Well, it's still kind of nature though, isn't it? That is true. It's sort of omens in nature. Nature importance. Yeah. Yeah. My bad. I was just thinking about groundhogs. And to me, they're one of nature's most creatures. That's true. So we have an issue here with our groundhog related news, and that is that we have dueling groundhogs, much like in the film Deliverance. This is from the Associated Press. Punxatoni Phil, who you may know from the film Groundhog Day, is...

Is this the same Groundhog or do they just name a new one, Punctanty Fil? I think it's always called Punctuty Phil. Just solely by virtue of being in the town, Punctutoni. It's sort of like the phantom. Oh, right, right, right. Like, you just, you just, you just, you just, you just, you just, you just, you just, you just, you just, you just, you just, you just, you just, you just, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. tha. tha. tha, right, right. Like you just, you take over the mantle. There always is one, yeah. Right, the ghost who sleeps in a burrow. Yes.

So from the AP, there will be six more weeks of winter, Punks the Tony Phil predicted, as he emerged from his borough on a snowy Tuesday morning to perform his groundhog day duties. I don't think it's right to put that much pressure on a groundhog. No. I think it's the one thing that's asked of them. Yeah, but like, is he getting paid? I think he's bored, food and bored are free. Generally. It usually is for a groundhog.

That's true. I don't know... They did pay the locksmith to put all that stuff on the door. They made him that little bed. I don't know, I don't know enough about the wants or needs of a groundhog to know whether they would be perfectly happy chilling in like a refuge or whether they want to be out there in the wilderness hunting. What does a groundhog hunt, Ben? I don't know, worms. I'm not a fucking biologist. I don't know

I got lectured the other day for Not knowing that groundhogs are the same as Oh no, I've already forgotten Beavers wood chucks and groundhogs are the same thing. What friend of the show my friend back went off at me called me a fucking idiot piece of shit dumb ass who doesn't deserve to live. Wow, it's very aggressive. All right, so I got a lot of questions about this next sentence. Members of Phil's, quote, in a circle,

woke up the furry critter at 725 a.m. at Gobler's knob, get out of here. In Punks attorney Pennsylvania to see whether or not he would see his own shadow. Who is in Phil's inner circle? Who is occupying Phil's MySpace Top 8? You know, a couple of people that he met in high school and stayed in contact with, a few people from work. These friendships just kind of happened naturally. Again we seem to be suggesting that Phil is like consciously a part of this process. Guys, make sure to get me up at 725 a.m. You know how I am sometimes? Don't let me hit that snooze button. I'll sleep right through the ceremony, Brian Doyle Murray.

I believe that was also the name of Brian Doyle Murray's character in that movie was Brian Doyle Murray in a top hat I think. Oh, I always thought the Groundhog had the top hat. Does the groundhog have the top hat? Just do they? I haven't watched that movie in a while. It's a good movie. If they don't, that he was Bill Murray's half-brother. It was like I didn't see it at all until the exact moment I learned that fact and then I went.

Wow. Who's the, he's got another brother as well that's in TV and movies? Guys, he was in like madman, I'm pretty sure. Jerry? John Ham. John Ham, yes. John Ham, yes. John Ham, his half brother. So, and also, how, how do you know whether or not the groundhog sees its own shadow? Does it confirm it for itself anyway? It runs back in the theme.

It runs back into his little house and locks the little, pulls the little slider across. It conically does like eight little different dirt bolts. Like a Mel Brooks movie. Yep, snuffs the fire out, one last puff of smoke pops out a little chimney. It goes back in and it's like the, it's like the end credits to get smart. Yep. Your dick gets caught in the last door. Shortly after this his prediction was revealed, one of the members of the circle, again I'm getting no clarification about who's in the circle, shared a

message he said Phil had told him earlier in the day. Now, come on. This... What? Where's the journalistic rigor in this article? You're asking that they're not interrogating these claims enough. They don't have enough first-hand sources and they're just like relying on this man's second-hand account of it. From his inner circle of friends who apparently said that this woodchuck, did we say? Woodchuck or groundhog certainly, yes. This woodchuck or groundhog stated to him apparently in English, quote, after winter you're looking forward to one of the most beautiful and brightest springs you've ever seen.

Also we've gone from discussing him as being an unwilling participant in this kind of scenario to now now it appears that he is an interventionalist hog. I can't ask you to go into more detail of that. What do you believe is happening here? Well usually you know you talk to God and he doesn't he doesn't talk back and the same thing with Hogg. Yeah so you're sort of saying you don't believe in an interventionist I simply don't. Yep are you there Hogg it's me Brian Doyle Larry. And then he turns his back on you and runs back in his tiny little door.

Slams it shut and you're all alone in the cold world again. The spectacle that is Groundhog Day and Punxatony still went on but because of the coronavirus pandemic, revelers weren't able to see Phil and celebrate in person. This year it was all virtual. I've had every news story now has this just... Hey have you heard of this coronavirus thing? Well this is a new concept to the Americans I don't think they're really cotton on to what was happening for about the first year. You know you've seen a lot of tweets and stuff about people in America just getting the vaccine? Which is just wild to me. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I I I I I I th. I th. I th. I have th. I have th. I have th. I have th. I have th. I have th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi tooooooi. thi. thi. thi. thi. their thi. thi. in America just getting the vaccine. Which is just wild to me because I have it a vague idea that we're all going to start

getting it soon in Australia. But it's not really like, it's not occupying a lot of my thoughts. Yeah. Like, we're kind of doing okay. I mean, you'll just show up one day with a needle in your arm and you're like, oh, hey, we're doing that that that that guy's gonna stop me on the street with a clipboard. It'll be a backpacker who's like, hi, I'm here on behalf of the Queensland government. Would you like to get your vaccine?

I love your hat. I love your hat. Hey, hey, hey, mister. convinces you to shake his hand then with the other hand up pppp. The only country to do the charity mugger roll out of the vaccine. Anyway we do not do one-off payments it is monthly. Pay off your vaccine and installments. 90% of the vaccine fee goes to to evolve the charity mugger organization. If I ever find you to evolve. Recurring donation in the form of taxes.

Damn. Yeah, like I said Ben, I think I just keep finding myself thinking about the same thing, which is that America and the UK are both just in this completely different universe to us of, well, no point in trying to stop both just in this completely different universe to us of, well, no point in trying to stop this thing. I guess the only thing we can do is all get vaccinated at some point and hope that that works. Yeah, see what high school we can get before we roll out the vaccine. If it does work, we'll look like fucking idiots though.

Hiding in the little houses or our little groundhog boroughs. There was like a tweet, Anthony Albanese who put up the other day being like these are all the countries that are ahead of Australia in the queue for getting the vaccine. You're like, yeah man, all those people die of coronavirus. Like a lot, they dying heaps. That's something I genuinely don't understand about people in Australia freaking out about the vaccine stuff is it's like yeah there's like three cases in Australia like

obviously we want to get to a point where we can open businesses back up properly and everything but also like probably take care of the countries where like thousands of people are dying every day. Well I would go one further and say that in a lot of Australia, if not most of it, most businesses are just operating as they were. I went to work yesterday, what's today Sunday? I went to work Friday in like a boss. Super weird. Yeah. Well I mean you say that, uh, Sunday? I went to work Friday. In like a bus. Super weird. Yeah.

Well, I mean, you say that, not the bus thing, I mean the most of the business is already normally. I haven't been able to put on my screening of David Lynch's June because the capacity limits are still too low. So it's really harshly affecting me. It's true. you might as well be dead. I might as well be fucking dead. It's a hoax. 5G did it. I'm Craig Kelly. Yeah, I mean obviously it affects specific businesses, like hospitality related ones more than others, but just like going to the supermarket, you know. Yeah, that's all pretty normal. Honestly, I'd be pretty happy if scratch stayed at the capacity that is at the moment, where it like 60 people instead of the normal 100 maximum capacity. 60 people are a nice amount of people. Better vibe? Yeah, it's like enough people in there. They're like, hey, we're

having a Friday night, but not enough people that you're like, fuck. The thing I'm often thinking to myself. So after Phil's inner circle, still no clarification of who's in the same-semit. It's a bunch of old dudes in top hats, I can tell you that much. Yep. After the inner circle delivered the news, they hung around to take selfies and photographs of themselves with Phil. I think that's the same thing. No, selfies and photographs of themselves with Phil, I think that's the same thing. No, selfies and photographs. No, selfies and photographs of themselves. Yeah, so, oh, well, yeah, yeah, that's quite interesting.

Hey, I'm just gonna, I'm gonna take a selfie, and then I'm gonna take a picture of myself with Phil. Just stand here after I've taken a selfie because I'm also going to take a photo. Yep. Yeah. I'm doing selfies and self-portraits. Take photos of themselves with Phil against a fresh blanket of snow. This poor animal is just like, get off me. I'm an animal. 150 cardboard cutouts purchased by fans and featuring photos of them in groundhog gear all with their pets dotted

the hillside. It's, yeah, it's like they couldn't fully shake the, like, the remnants of being British, because this is some very British shit to do. Have, now I know that nobody here, including myself, follows professional wrestling. But has anybody, has anybody seen any of that nobody here including myself follows professional wrestling. But has anybody, has anybody seen any of that? What they've been doing for like, I don't know, a year now? Is that they have like, massive, cut out to the fans and stuff? No, they have like massive banks of screens all around the ring, the squared circle, if you

will. And they, like, on this, are tiled, like, fans who are watching like via zoom. It's weird. It's very unpleasant. Yeah, it's like a massive grid of squares of people's video cameras of themselves watching from home. And there's something about that that is like way more running man and dystopia to me than, I don't know, setting in a cardboard cut out of yourself in your groundhog furry

suit. It's like we're all getting a turn on the panopticon. Yeah, it's, it's, it's pretty, freaky. I don't know how to feel about it. Actually I do it is bad. Yep. Yep. You've interrogated yourself from those feelings. It didn't take that long. I've just, um, I've just sent you a picture, Theo. So you can get the vibe of this situation. It's very, it's very peculiar.

Like, you know, and obviously they had to do something. Sorry, I'm just reopening discord that I close so they wouldn't get distracted. Oh, look you go. Because you have to do crowd work, you know, you need like a response from people, otherwise wrestling just doesn't work. Yeah, and you get, like, obviously you get different events that like pipe in like applause and stuff, pipe in crowd noise that like baseball games and that sort of thing. They had the thing at baseball games where they were digitally overlaying crowds onto the empty stadiums. Oh, that's right. It looked like fucking the FIFA crowds just like...

Yeah, yeah. A two-second loop. Very grim. Pretty cool. So yeah, I guess let's let's get ourselves a digital crowd going at Punk's attorney-fills reveal next year. Here's the problem, Ben. What if you have more than one groundhog? What if you ask more than one Groundhog what he thinks?

Or she? Like, they're all, well, are we even verifying... No, I think that will actually be addressed in one of the stories coming up. Oh, okay. Also, from the Associated Press, Illinois Groundhog calls for early spring. The country's most famous groundhog may have predicted six more weeks of winter out in Pennsylvania on Tuesday morning, but the one in the Illinois community where Bill Murray made the road in a movie saw didn't see it that way. In the Northern Illinois

community of Woodstock where Murray filmed the 1993 motion picture Groundhog Day, Woodstock Willie didn't spot its shadow the way Punk's 20 Phil did. That means Willie unlike Phil is calling for an early spring. But like, yes you're the town where they filmed Groundhog Day. But you're not the one mentioned in Groundhog Day. Yeah, you were much like the aforementioned house playing your house in a dream. You were playing the town Punx Attorney in a film.

Isn't that kind of weird to like have another Groundhog Town as to stand in? Like that just seems rude. They couldn't afford the real one. We like we love your whole thing, but not quite enough. It's like when they, you know, film in Canada and make it look like Chicago or whatever. Except in this case, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th, I thi, I thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, is thi, is thi, the, the they, you know, film in Canada and make it look like Chicago or whatever. Except in this case, I actually think it's weird the other way around to have Bill Murray film a movie that is set in Puncts atorney in your town of Woodstock and then from that point on to just say, we're a groundhog town now too. That's our thing now also. I mean, I think they were already a Groundhog Town before that. Oh, okay.

Well, who's stealing Graham Hog Valley here? Apparently it's like a weird Pennsylvania Dutch thing to do, like a fucking- Fucking Dutch. Buking Dutch. It's like an Amish type thing, Amish adjacent thing for some reason. Yeah. Quote, Willie looked skyward to the east and behind to the ground and stated clearly in ground hog ease, I definitely do not see a shadow, Mayor Brian Saga announced to the shivering crowd.

They were presumably all just shivering in awe of seeing an animal speak in a language that could be interpreted by humans. Absolutely shitting themselves at the horrific supernatural scene that has just taken place. What next? I've seen the face of God. Imagine if this was like, it's such a low-key miracle, but like it would still sort of, like it wouldn't lovecraft style destroy your whole reality, but you'd be like, I just, no, that can't, huh? Not big enough to really tell people about either, they'd be like, that's just the one animal.

That's it for the rest of time as well. You saw a groundhog talk once, kind of. So you think animals tore? No, no, no, let's make one thing clear. I do not think animals talk. I think Woodstock Willie could talk groundhog ease once at least. So I think the actual miracle is the guy who has been chosen by God as the like groundhog sayer, right? As the person, like he's got a St. Francis of Assisi kind of Dr. Doolittle sort

of thing going on. You know how those two people are the same. I'm enjoying I'm enjoying the picture of like everybody, everybody laughing and taking pictures of the groundhog with their phone and then like God's just up in heaven going, fuck! I've been, I had an animal speak directly to you and they're all just laughing. Oh, it's so cute. No, he's really doing it. He's giving you a sign, a vision of the future. He's speaking to humans And they're just they're posting it on Facebook. Oh, isn't that cute? The little groundhog no, this is the voice of God

Fine, I'll do another plague pandemic. We should teach the groundhogs to speak Esperanto We should teach everyone to speak Esperanto. And then we'd be kind of had this language that's universal. A sort of universal language. A lingua Esperanto, if you will. Welcome to Bontovista, the world's first, Esperanto only podcast. Do you think there is one?

Yes, absolutely, I'm going to say there is. There are, according to Wikipedia, a thousand people that grew up speaking Esperanto and nothing else. Yeah, if you're one of the one thousand people raised speaking Esperanto and nothing else. If you're one of the one thousand people raised speaking Esperanto, right into the show. Oh wow. No, no, no, no, no, the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. A th th th th th tho, tho, tho, tho, a tho, a tho, a thous thousa thousand thousand thousand thousand thousand thousand thousand people thousand people thousand people thousand people thousand people thousand people thousand people thousand people thousand people thousand people thousand people thousand people thousand people. A tho, a tho, a tho, a tho, a tho, a tho, a tho tho tho thous thous thous thous thous thousand thousand thousand thousand people. A thousand people thousand people thousand people thousand people thousand people thousand people thousand people thousand people thousand people thousand people thousand people thousand people people raised speaking Esperanto, right into the show. Oh wow. No, no, no, leave a voicemail. Well, that's, no, I was going to say, so if you get raised speaking only Esperanto, and then you are taught English, what's the accent like? Pan-European. Just sounds like you Dutch.

Oops, whoops! According to Wikipedia, there is an estimated 1,000 to several thousand native Esperanto speakers and an estimated between 63,000 and 2 million people who speak it as a second language. My goodness. And just to be clear with everybody, I do not want a podcast about Esperanto. No. I want a podcast about like Groundhogs and Weird Dreams in Esperanto. Esperanto Heritage.

That is an odd name for a subsection of its Wikipedia article. So there is a radio station called Musaico, which is a full-time Esperanto radio station which plays Esperanto music, interviews and news items from the whole world. The name is a play on the words for music and mosaic. Radio China International has an almost daily one hour radio broadcast with news in Esperanto. Vatican Radio broadcasts three times weekly. Oh my God.

In Esperanto. Why? Radio Havana Cuba produces broadcasts in Esperanto almost every week. A gentleman called Musta Abbasi translated the Quran into Esperanto almost every week. A gentleman called Muzta Abbasi translated the Quran into Esperanto. Thank you, sir. That was really sought after. That is incredible. That's pretty good.

Look, I'm going to offer you a pledge here today on the show, to our listeners. We're not going to become Esperanto guys. Is that... I mean... You've got to fill in the time somehow. I think we're doing that now, aren't we? All right. Best Esperanto podcasts?

As in there are multiple. I think there's a host of them. th. th. T. th. th. th. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. there. there. That's. there. there. there. there. there. there. there's. there's, there. th. th. there's there's. there's. there's. there's. th. there's. there. there. there. there. there. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That. That. That. That's. That. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's.... That's.................... That....................... That................ That's there....... That's there. That's there. That's there. That's there. That's there. That's there. That's. That's. That. That's. That. That. That's. That's there are multiple? I think there's a host of them. There's 34 according to player.fm 3 triple z radio and Esperanto the sister station. Oh wait no that's in Melbourne. Oh no. There's an Australian Esperanto station. In the Melbourne Esperanto communeum estastimo istimo. Is Esperanto just pig Latin? I think it's joke Spanish. I think... It's 100% joke Spanish. God damn.

The Woodstock event, though it included some of the common trappings of the day, started with the unscrolling of the proclamation and the reading of the news to the crowd. It was decidedly unlike in the cinematic version of Groundhog Day. Willie for the first time appearing on stage with a bunch of people wearing surgical masks that so many don these days to prevent the spread of COVID-19. Imagine if he he thought he was getting surgery. He'd have to ask his interpreter in Grandhog Ease. Hey, is there something wrong with me? Oh, you guys have a plague happening.

Oh, yeah, it's your problem. All right. Yeah. I'm sorry. Monday at 1.m. the tp. M. toll. they. throwns. That was my favorite Grand Theft Auto Station. an hour of Esperanto radio every week and has been since three triple Z started. That was my favorite Grand Theft Auto Station. Radio Esperanto!

It can't be racist against Esperanto because it's not real. It doesn't exist. We made it up. That's a perfect get out of jail free card. Are you doing a racist accent? No, no, no, this is my Esperanto. White people had to invent a new thing to be racist against. I have noticed how people who speak Esperanto... Oh boy. But hey, what are the Canadian Grand Hog saying? This is from CTV news from the town of Wharton?

Wieton? Wieton? We are ton. We are ton. Wyatt and Willie calls for early spring, as prediction takes on new format. I don't like this, Ben. I don't like the recurring motif here. It's official. Willie didn't see his shadow and therefore predicts that spring will arrive

early this year. Willie's prediction was done in a unique way for the 65th anniversary. Was it a was it by video over internet? A video featuring Willie's history was supplied to local media and included Mayor Janice Jackson. What? Revealing the official prediction. In the video, Willie's place is taken by a hat for comedic effect. I don't know if I understand the joke there. This might be a Canadian sense of humor thing.

Hey, um, look at this groundhog, wink! It's just a hat. Audience falling over themselves. That's not a ground dog at all, it's a hat. It's a hat on stage. Quick, everybody, put down what you're doing! They're calling a groundhog, no, they're calling a hat a ground dog. Oh, boy.

Uh Willie did not see his shadow it will be in early spring. This is from the Indiana newspaper the Republic. Hope predict six more weeks of winter on a bright sunny groundhogs day. A groundhog named Hope an understudy for grubby. Mm-hmm. What f understudy for Grubby. What the fuck? Grubby the Groundhog. Yep. A woodchuck, oh, there go.

Who normally does the annual Grandhog Day prediction, has ruled the Bartholome County is in for six more weeks of winter. The prediction was made at Utopia Wildlife Rehabilitators at an event that was supposed to be live streamed on Facebook but did not appear on social media. Just at home refreshing the page over and over again. Come on. Come on. I took the tale of work for this. Wow.

Hope and her sister Faith were born last spring and I residing with Grubby the filthy fuck. I really like Hope faith and grubby. Beautiful sisters Hope Faith and their fucking disgusting roommate Grubby. Moses Abraham and come Goblin. These are my three daughters. Charity, Verity, and Slud. Oh dear. Well, Grubby has to sit out this year because she's suffering from a dental disease called Odontoma. Of course she is, fucking disgusting bitch.

Okay, but read that next sentence, which makes certain mammals feel and act as if they have a respiratory infection. That's so specific. You're not just saying they have a dental disease called Odontoma, which makes it hard for them to breathe. They're like, this groundhog has become convinced that it has a respiratory infection because of a dental condition. We must emphasize that this is a mental failing on the groundhog's problem. Oh, your groundhog's coughing and clutching his chest, probably a tooth thing.

Probably a tooth thing. Probably a tooth thing. Classic, classic tooth. Stupid groundhog thinks it's a respiratory problem, but... You dumb, mothucker. In groundhogies, it said, um, hey guys, I think I have all of the hallmark signs of a respiratory infection. Shut the Messiah. Those are the things we need from you. Which one?

So what happens? Do they basically just take a tally of all the North American woodchucks that predict seasons and then just tally them up? Yeah, they're definitely doing some serious statistical analysis on whether or not a horrible little rodent runs straight back indoors after squinting into the sun. But also like- That's why they've got cameras outside Ben's house 24-7. It's very, it's, look, it's like, does, has this groundhog had the gift of future sight bestowed upon

it by a merciful God? Or, oh no, no, it's not a gift. Or can you just sub in any old groundhog when that one has something wrong with its teeth? Which it thinks is a problem with its respiratory system. Yeah, they're really undermining the narrative here. Yeah. Is it a special groundhog? I assume that there would be some Pope style ceremony to succeed a groundhog that dies. Or I mean maybe the suggestion is all groundhogs have a second sight. It's just that only some of them are photogenic. We only want the sexy ones. They can all see the future, but not all of them have a winning smile.

It's right. Go down to a local groundhog dealer. He opens his jacket and there's a bunch of wailing hogs taped to the inside. Faith can do the prediction. She's just a real piece of shit. She says a lot of racist stuff in groundhogies every time she gets in front of a camera. Like a little rodent Rob Ford, you know. Oh boy. That's uh... So we broke even here, right? We had two for six more weeks of winter and two for an early spring.

Oh, we did a, we did a Nate Silver. Yep. It might be six more weeks, according to my Groundhog models. The winter-need-all is pointing it exactly 50%! Yeah, it might be more winter, unless it's not, which my model also accounts for. Also it accounts for, that's right. Oh. Sniveling little bitch.

Welcome to Buntavista's premium free brewery. All month long we're giving you the disgusting public access to our premium patron-only episodes. That's right, not one but two episodes a week. And if you get hooked on your bi-weekly dose of a filthy drug called podcast, you can become a patron with access to our full catalog of over 300 episodes at Patreon. to com slash Buntavista. You can quit anytime you want.

Podcasts sound addictive and we can't be held responsible. Everyone's a winner during Freemium Freebrewery. Well, look, there's uh, there's events like that where we get like a story that we would have got at some point, but they all have the haunting spectre of COVID lingering over them. And Then there's stories that are just straight up about COVID, you know. For example, this is a story that made me laugh from the Guardian. A Taiwanese man penalized for breaching COVID-quarantine regulations has had his fine revoked after it emerged he had been kidnapped by dead collectors.

The man whose surname is Chen returned from Hong Kong in late October and began his 14 days of mandatory home quarantine at a friend in Nantu County. The next day, however, men identified as debt collectors arrived at the house and mistook Chen for his friend who owed the money. The men assaulted Chen, abducted him and took him to his own home to collect the money owed, the justice ministry said last week. He was then returned to the residents where he had been in quarantine. It was not clear how police were alerted that he had left, but Taiwan's quarantine system includes electronic monitoring through phone signals. Chen was arrested and find 100,000 new Taiwan dollars, which is about 4,700 Australian

dollars for breaching the regulations. And then he said, hey, somebody hit me over the head with a blackjack and stuffed me into the boot of a car and took me away. It's always an excuse, isn't there? And they went, get the fuck out of here. And then they checked and went, oh shit, oh, is he head okay? The Justice Ministry said Chan's explanation had been investigated and confirmed

and that his fine had been revoked because he had been forced to leave quarantine against his will. Quote, the violation of the quarantine regulations was not caused by his own intentional or negligent behavior, said Hu Tanchi, a spokesman for the Changhua branch of the administrative enforcement agency. According to the law such behavior should never be punished and should be referred to the health unit for withdrawal." And quote. It is the first time a Taiwanese government fine for quarantine breach has been reversed. The maximum fine for breaching the strict regulations is 300,000 new Taiwan dollars. I wonder what the old ones look like. It looked like shit.

That's why they got some new ones. Thank fuck. I said that like I know what the new ones look like. You did and I wasn't going to question that. There was imposed last month on a pilot who flew between Taiwan and the US and traveled around Taipei while infectious. leading to the first community ti th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thoo thi thi thi thi tho thi thi thi thi tho tho thi. tho tho tho to tho to tho to thi. I thi. I'm tho-I. I'm toe. I'm toe. I'm toe. I'm toe. I'm toe. I'll toe. I'll tho. I'll tho. I's th. I. I th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I'll thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. the. the. the. the. toda. toda. today. today. today. th. th. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. I'm tho. I'm the US and traveled around Taipei while infectious, leading to the first community transmission case in more than 250 days. Yeah, that's, that's not cool. It's kind of weird to me the whole thing how we have all the very strict quarantine stuff and then they're like airline crews though, you guys do whatever. You work hard. Yeah. You deserve a little break. Little time off. Here's some walking around money. Just get out there and mix it up.

So this is a town known for its intricate doorknops, so make sure to grab and inspect each one. I hear each of them has a unique taste. Mm-hmm. I'm really intrigued by how happily they will put both debt collector and kidnapped in a sentence together. Like, to me a debt collector is those people that are calling up on the phone repeatedly and call up your friends and family try to find your whereabouts so you'll pay off your car line or whatever.

Not someone who kidnaps you. Yeah, they ring me up and say, is this theo? I said, no, this is Ben McLea. Oh, the groundhog guy. Uh, they, yeah, I think, I think there's like, two very distinct versions of a debt collector, right? There's the, I made a very large wager that I can't pay for on a sports event. The kneecapcapcapcapcapcap cap th kind. th kind. th kind. th kind. th kind. th kind. the car car car car car car car car car car car car. the car car. the car. the car car. the car, the car, the car, the car, the car, the car, the car, the car, the car, that. that. that. that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, the, I made a very large wager that I can't pay for on a sports event. The kneecap's kind. The kneecap's kind. And then there's just the, the civilized debt collector,

that most of us are more familiar with, where they phone you up and say, remember all that money you borrowed from a bank and then I say, no. It's a perfect system. You did, we've got a written down on this piece of paper and I say, yeah I guess, I guess and they say can we have it and I go, oh. I kind of spent it already. I don't really have it right now. My kids keep eating food. And then they're like, well, we're gonna call that next week

and ask for it again. And I go, all right. You do that, pal. What are you gonna do? Kidnap me? What are you gonna do? Ruin my credit rating forever? Oh, you are?

OK. It's all right. I couldn't borrow any money anyway. I don't think I have one of those. A credit rating? Yeah. I think they kind of exist. I did owe an enormous amount of money to a debt collector at some point and they really do just be phoning you all week long. And then you say, what if I give you $50 a week and they say, cool, that will never pay off the loan or the interest, but it's just a revenue stream for us forever until you die. And I did manage to get it paid off and it doesn't take that long for it to just kind of come off your, like I think you know

if a bank or whoever checks you like credit rating thing to see, do you owe somebody money or have you defaulted on a loan or whatever. It seemed to only take like 12 months for that to just disappear off of that register. Oh. So that's our advice you. Wrack up as much debt as you like it is consequence-free. No, it wasn't. Yes.

I mean... All dead all the time, baby. Buy a jet ski. Yeah, well, by two. Get sucked off on it. Have you thought about getting sucked off on a jet ski? You know? If anything's worth going into deadfall.

It's getting sucked off on a jet ski. Yeah. It'd probably be it, wouldn't it? Truly the dirt bike of the ocean. That's true. Whop! Whop! To love going too fast on those bad boys.

Yeah, that's exactly what it sounds like. A sort of goose-making-a-like-like-like-like-like-like-like-like-like-like-like-like-like-like-like-like-like-like-like-like-like-like-like-like-like-like-like-like-like-like-like-like-like-like-like-like-like-like-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-s-s out-s out-s out-s out-s out-s out-s out-. A sort of goose-making rap air horns. Whop! Speaking of geese, the ocean, nature. We're back in Nature Corner because I played the theme too early before. He did, yes. It was not meant to be for that segment, but I was just thinking about them groundhogs. Woodchucks, if you will. Think about hogs.

Hmm. But we are back to talk about nature. This from New Atlas, newly discovered nano-camelian is world smallest known reptile. That's pretty cute. It is very cute. Once again, this is an audio medium, but feel free to Google World's Smallest Camelian and look at this tiny little fella, if you guys, you here on the podcast, scroll down a little, a little photo there of someone who I think we'd all like to be friends with. That's a little guy. That's a little guy. One of the littlest guys I've seen. He's so little. I would be so terrified to have one of those on my hand.

Well, if you squash it, or... Because you'd get... Yeah, no, because it's like... Surely it would be so easy to just smear that little guy. I think it's like the... What's the thing where things get smaller is actually kind kind kind kindto hurt them because of their like the weight ratio to something of their body? You just throw a lizard across, don't throw a lizard across a room, but I mean something that tiny He's just gonna sail on the air currents. He's just gonna land on the ground and be like I just teleported that's sick. Oh, like when you're when you whack like a spider off? the spider like, like a spider like a spider like a spider like a spider like a spider like a spider like a spider like a spider like a spider like a spider like a spider like a spider like a spider like a spider like, the spider off, the spider off, the spider off, th. That's the spider, th. It's th. Oh, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I've just had so many spiders on me lately.

Congratulations. I feel like... Oh, did you forget to do the omens importance that? Just like, we've had a lot of rain this summer and I think all of the... I don't know if like all of the dampness is just making the spider population go crazy, but I've seen way more spiders than before in this house. And I'm just constantly being like, oh, that's an itchy feeling.

And then I look down and there's just a tiny spider. Walking on my arm or on my neck or on the back of my face. Are you going to list all of the parts of your body? My the parts of your body? On my chest, my legs. In the gooch. Right up my gooch. And don't care for it. Although when I see the spider it makes me feel less like I'm going insane. You know? Because if you constantly feel like there's little things crawling on you and there aren't, that's probably one of these little guys. You'd never know. Imagine.. You would you wouldn't know. I wouldn't know. Be slapping at my neck immediately decimating the nano

chameleon. If you live in the northern regions of Madagascar and you feel something climbing on you but you can't see it don't just slap at your arm. Could be hurting one of these guys. Check to see if it's a little guy, and if it's not slap away. Tiny new species of chameleon has been discovered, and it seems to be the smallest reptile in the world. Known as brookiesia nana, or the nanocamelean,

the petite species can perch on a fingertip and may have the smallest adult males of any vertebrate. I wonder how many you could eat in a sitting. Like white, fried up like white bait, you know. What's that the fucking Mitch Hedberg bit, the rice is perfect when you're really hungry and you want to eat a thousand of something? Yeah, it's these guys. This species was discovered in the northern regions of the island of Madagascar. Only two specimens of Binauna. Cute. So cute. That's real cute. Have been found so far but conveniently it's a male and a female pair. We'll just rub those bad boys together. Get a few more lizards. Female has a body length of 19

millimeters or 29 millimeters including the tail. Well, you should always measure it from the base. Measure from the base. Absolutely, yep. Which is small enough to place it among the smallest known geckos and chameleons. But the males are even smaller. Got some manlets here. Record-breakingly so. The male binana was measured at just 13.5 millimeters long or 22 millimeters including the sale. That seems to make it the smallest reptile in the world just pipping

the previous record holder, the related species, B tuberculata by around half a millimeter. Of course the researchers have to make sure the specimens were just juveniles. They performed micro CT scans of the female. Oh, putting in a little CT scan machine? Stay still little guy. Piping in some relaxing music. I assume we all saw those pictures going around recently of how they like sedate hedgehogs. Yeah, with the full, uh, full nitrous mask all the way over them. What? No, I did not see that. Wish that were me. They put their whole body in there and just, their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their st, their st, st, st, st, st, st, st, st, st, their their their their their their st. Stay st. Stay st. Stay staicate, their st. Stay st. Stay st. Stay st. Stay st. Stay st. Stay st. Stay st. Stay st. Stay, their st. Stay, their st. Stay, their st. Stay, their st. Stay, st, their their, tie, tie, tie, tie, tie, tie, tie, tie, tie, tie, tie, tie te, te, te, te, te, te, te, te, te, te, te, te, te, te, te, thea, thea, their t, full nitrous mask all the way over them. What? No, I did not see that.

Wish that were me. They put their whole body in there and just gas them. Huh. Very cute. As long as you read the context and realize they aren't killing them. Uh, so they identified two eggs, indicating she was mature. Likewise, the male's genital seemed to be well-developed. Wow, some people have a luck. Indicating he was sexually mature, nicer.

In fact, that was the one part of its body that wasn't tiny, relatively speaking. The genitals were almost 20% of his total body size, which the team says would be needed in order to mate with these significantly larger females. Oh, is that unusual? I thought that was normal. Oh boy, check out the hog on this tiny lizard. So to these tiny little male lizards, do they, is like every female like that giant from the new Resident Evil trailer?

I assume so, yes. Are they just getting domed all the time by like gigantic empire lizards? Well, the big nude hologram lady from Blade Runner 2049. If your dick isn't 20% of your body weight, I don't want to hear about it. I mentioned like, so this is like thousands and thousands of thousands of thousands of thousands of thousands of thousands of thousands of thousands of thousands thousands thousands of thousands of thousands thousand thousand thousand the thousand thousand thousand thousand their thousand their their tra. I' tra. I've tra. I' tra. I'll tra. I'll tra. I'll their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thousand. I's thousands. I's thousand. I's tra. I'm tra. I'm tra. I'm truea. I'm truea-a-a-a-a-a-eananananananan-evalu-evalu-evalu-evalu-a. Ia. Ia. I mentioned like so this is you know thousands and thousands and thousands of years of evolution just like every generation of boy lizard being like oh god they're getting even bigger and then just a few of them being like not a problem for me baby I'm fine in that department on the small dick lizards dying out. Oh my father was the last small dick chameleon.

Oh boy. Exactly why the species is so small remains a mystery the team says. It may seem to be an example of the island effect, where animals trapped on small islands tend to evolve smaller body sizes. But the team says, Minana is found in the mountains on mainland Madagascar, so that doesn't seem to apply here. Its family tree also raises further questions. The closest relative of the new chameleon is also not the similarly tiny brookesia micra, but instead the nearly twice as large B.Caché, which occurs in the same mountains, says, Yom Kulah, an author of the study. That shows this extreme miniaturization has arisen convergently in these chameleons.

The researchers say the habitat of the new species is likely to also be tiny, perhaps limited to just a few acres. That could put it at risk of extinction. Well, it's big to them. You know? That is true. It'd be like, uh, I feel like to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the, the, the, their, the, thi. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, the, the, the, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thi... And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. I's, the thea. So, thea. So, thea. So, thea. Soo. Soo. If, thea. And, thi. And, be like, uh... I feel like to them it would be like the movie Predators where they just get dropped on a planet that's like all jungle, you know? They're like, wow, look at all this jungle.

I'm gonna start a count of how many episodes of this podcast you have brought up the movie Predators in. Oh, I think I've brought up the movie The Predator. Oh, I'm sorry, you're absolutely right. Yeah. I have not bought up the Adrian Brody starring vehicle. Nobody has. That many times. Well, it's probably better than the Predator. You know, a bit more fun. You got Danny Trio in there.

Do love a Danny Trayer. Never matter to Danny Trio. You get to see a guy fight a guy fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the fight a predator with a katana, and that's pretty cool. But you have to believe Adrian Brody is cool. Yeah, like a muscle guy. That's a big issue, I mean. They do get dropped onto an alien planet, hunted by some kind of huge alien dogs. And I'm supposed to believe that Adrian Brody is a tough guy leading man? Get out of here. It's just not going to work. You put him as a guy in a fucking

Where's Anderson movie and I'm like there he is a man and he's natural element you put a gun in his hand and I'm like shut up He's doing a lot of like gruff voice in that that's me Adrian Brody I'm wayfish. Stay away from me. I work better on my own. All right buddy. Let's get you in a silly sweater. You know? Unfortunately, the habitat of the nano-camelian is under heavy pressure from deforestation, but the area has recently been designated as a protected area and hopefully that will enable this tiny new chameleon to survive. This kind of fucks me out a little bit, thinking about like, like, like, like, so, so, so, so, so, so, so th, so th, so th, so the, so their, so their, their, th. So, their, their, they, they're, they're, they're thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, they're thi, thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. thi, thi, thi, thi, that will enable this tiny new chameleon to survive. This kind of fucks me out a little bit thinking about like, so they're in a couple of acres

right which in the scope of Madagascar is fucking tiny and that's the only place that they are. How many fucking little guys are there out there that we don't know about? Probably a lot. There's so many little guys we'll never find probably, like tiny little birds would be like... What if they were just tons of little guys running around? It's too much? We should have a cap. Ten thousand types of lizard. Ten thousand types of bird. Ten thousand types of fish, and so on and so forth. How we feel in about nematodes? Ten thousand types about nematodes? 10,000 times a nematode? Yeah. Who's gonna kill all the extras, Ben? Is it you?

That's me. He's gonna keep that number down. It's honest work. Putting them inside the hedgehog cone and gassing them. I'm so sorry. Crying as I wipe out the 10,000 first species of shark. Oh boy. Well, we've had a lot of rain here,

like I said, causing the tiny spider outbreak, but it also means that I get a lot of frogs down in the creek behind the house. And that means that this morning when I got up, I could hear a lot of a lot of pubblebonk frogs. I'm sorry? Going off down there. What was that you said? Referring to the species of eastern banjo frog also known as the pubblebonk frog.

So I thought maybe to just play us out here we could listen to a recording of the call of the pubble bonk. How do you feel about that? Oh I love that. That sounds tremendous. Well, this is a recording from Chiltern National Park in Victoria and you can hear the typical bonk call from male eastern banjo frogs calling at the edge of a small dam. Thank you for stopping by if this is your first bonus episode on this, the month that I've decided to call freemium free brewery. That's not what we discussed. And we will be calling it that repeatedly for the rest of the month. Thank you for joining us.

Freiburary. Freemium free brewery. Just work with me. Fremium. Freebrewery. work with me a freemium free free brewery free brewery free brewery freemium free brewery freebrewary threy thanks for stopping by I'm sorry. Oh, Oh, the today. Oh, the today. Oh.

Oh, the together. I'm going to be able to have a good. I'm going to be.