Boonta Vista - UNLOCKED BONUS EPISODE: Bleachable Moment

Episode Date: May 16, 2020

We're unlocking our bonus episodes for the indefinite time period in which people are self-quarantining, because when all you have is a podcast, everything looks like a problem you solve with podcast episodes. Enjoy! *** Live from the big scam convention, Andrew, Theo and Ben talk about the cruel censorship of the Church of Bleach by the Therapeutic Goods Administration, Robert Pattinson's moveable feast, and an update from Gunworld. *** Support our show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista *** Email the show at [e-mail]! Call in and leave us a question or a message on 1800-317-515 to be answered on the show! *** Twitter: twitter.com/boontavista Website: boontavista.com Merchandise: boontavista.com/merchandise Twitch: twitch.tv/boontavista

Welcome to Juan Vistaista, the bonus episode. My name is Andrew and I'm here at the SCAM Convention. The big SCAM Convention, I've got my table set up, I'm putting out my scam in the hopes that somebody comes by and buys it. Surrounded by all the other tables. Of course on my table, I have a brochure for an app which will buys it. Surrounded by all the other tables. Of course on my table, I have a brochure for an app which will fix your mental illness. Sitting to the table, just to the left of mine, tenting his fingers and hoping that somebody comes along to buy one of his bags of genuine Bigfoot hair is Ben. Hey, these aren't moving as fast as I thought they would.

No. I've listed off all of their magical properties. And some of those properties are... Oh, sorry, you want... You want... You're selling them. You're selling them. No, no, no, no, it... Give us a little sizzle.

Oh, okay. They make you slightly magnetic, if you've got them on your person. This could be handy if, say, you wanted to carry around a bunch of paper clips attached to your arm. And boy do I. If you're doing a lot of filing, they can be good. They will raise your core body temperature to 41 degrees permanently. Ingesting that will do that to you. So that could be good or bad.

You know, I'm not a doctor, I'm just a humble Bigfoot hair salesman. You'll run hot, you'll run real hot. I mentioned the magnets thing. Yeah, it's got that. And these aren't selling fast? Well I mean it's sort of like you know how saffron you know it's kind of the the price per weight that gets you right you like you don't need a lot of it yeah like I'm only buying you know 25 grams of big foot hair but it turns out

$1,500 a gram. Huh. And you only need one or two hairs in a nice curry rice to completely ruin it. Yeah, yeah, the color and flavor of the big foot hair will suffuse it to any dishmaker. Yeah. Yeah. But still, well worth it. You know, I wish I could sell it for cheaper, but it's, you know, there's only one big foot and he can only grow hair so fast. That's true.

And on the other trestle table sitting over to the other side of me, selling an essential oil that he claims completely eliminates all anxiety, he's also shaking terribly. It is Thea. So my problem is that I'm simply too anxious to take it. What if it doesn't work? Oh, you've got a bootstrapping problem there. I've really built it up in my own mind to a point where it just, it can't pay off. What if you micro-dosed it, you know, until you were not anxious enough to take the AT anxiety medicine?

I don't know if we can call it a medicine. Tincture. I'm also selling a little thing I like to call Bitcoin 2. Oh. I see that the two is like kind of small and offset so that it looks like Bitcoin squared. Yeah, it's a nice little topographic joke. It seems like you've also, you've taken the stroke that usually runs through a dollar side and you've put that through the two as well.

Yes. It seems like you've combined... Well, that's to represent money. Which I believe Bitcoin 2 is the future of. Correct. Do you think you could maybe expand on what qualities of Bitcoin 2 make it different to say Bitcoin vanilla? Well absolutely I mean first of all there's no sign that it actually works. So you put a transaction in and it's completely secret. It's off the records. You can't find that transaction anywhere. Nowhere to be seen.

Completely anonymous. It's almost as if you hit the button and nothing happens. Huh. But sorry, and I say that, but it will actually debit your account. For a gigantic amount of money. So, kind of, kind of hard, that's sort of the fun of it. But completely anonymous, you can buy just about anything that you want with as long as you don't expect for the other person to get paid. And that's the extreme privacy of it.

There's no recourse, you know, if they don't. Absolutely no recourse whatsoever. The only thing that I see on my end is your account number, is your the, the, the fun, the fun, the fun, the fun, th. It, is your th. It, is your th. It, there's no recourse, you know, if they don't. Absolutely, no recourse whatsoever. The only thing that I see on my end is your account number, your BSB, your social security number, and anything that I can use to impersonate you in a court of law. And that sounds quite good. So what are you, are you hoping people will invest in Bitcoin 2, buy Bitcoin 2? Buy? Bitcoin 2 off you? I mean, so I can't say buy because that implies a trade of goods. Yes.

Legally, the lawyers have asked me to stick away from the word buy. Donate? Is that what they're recommending? You can definitely contribute to Bitcoin too. You really just want to fire up your your VPN. Go to Pirate Bay. Proxy. Downloads the divx version of Spider-Man 2 and in the NFO file you will find a link to the DeepNet and that's really how you get started with Bitcoin 2. Well um as my mother always told me you got to spend money to make money so I will be donating to Bitcoin to today. I try and skip the middleman generally I kind of just want to make money. Hmm. Yeah I mean really I that's a little business tip from me. I mean if you. I you. I you. you. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi. thi. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the I think... And that's a little business tip from me. Yeah, no, I mean, if you're spending money, you're kind of, you're kind of screwing

yourself on the making money part. You're taking, you know, two step forward to take three steps back, except you're doing it in that simple. It's that simple. Now I can see over here that apparently the police are arriving, as we all expected at the scam convention, and they're wondering over to have a little chat to the healing church that is set up over in the corner. Funny, let's listen in and see if we can see what's going on. And now we're just going to read an article about the thing. I was like, oh, he's got some sort of audio component.

I just teed that up. I didn't even put a link in there. That's amazing. Now we're going to start role playing. Yeah, and it's that kind of peerless artifice that really has made us the, the, uh, Australia's 44th most popular leftist comedy slash big foot enthusiast podcast. Yeah, but you know, the people in 43 are working very hard. Yeah, I mean, that's right. And I wouldn't hold it against them at all. So apparently, this from the Guardian. On Wednesday, Australia's drug regulator, the

Therapeutic Goods Administration, said that the Australian chapter of the Genesis 2, I believe the two is like small and the top of the line through it. The Genesis 2, Church of Health and Healing has been fined for selling and promoting a solution containing sodium chloride, a chemical used as a textile bleaching agent and disinfectant. Pretty cool. The Australian website for the church, MMS Australia, falsely claimed the solution could treat, cure, prevent and alleviate diseases including COVID, HIV and cancer, the TGA said. See they've done that really confusing thing that I find bizarre where they've claimed

that it cures everything. Yeah, I would just stick with the one thing. Start with one thing. Just start with, so coronavirus, it's kind of an zeitgeist at the moment, right? Yeah, yeah. The one. You guys aren't hearing anything about this? Never heard of it. So if you're going to pick one, just start there.

Don't just go to HIV, because we know that other people have tried really hard and it seems like the someone would have tried bleach by now. On a long enough time scale. On a long enough time scale. Yeah, sure. Yeah, I don't really get this approach. It is the cure-all for everything. I mean, you're giving yourself a very broad market. Yeah. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their to their their their their their to go to go to go th h th their their thi to go to go to go to go to go to go to to to to to th. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thi thi thi thi thi thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I just just just just just just go go go h. I thi. I thi. I thi. I just just just just just just go go go go go go hi. I the it is the cure all for everything like I mean you give yourself a very broad market if you do you know that's true I mean how many people have any problem yes all of them yeah whereas if you were several saves a problem to the rest of us pal I'll take you will cure each of them yeah yeah because I guess like you know if you, oh my bleach cures HIV, only so many people you're going to get, you know? If you say it cures coronavirus, maybe you'll

get some people who are worried about getting it, but of all the people who actually have it, not actually that many in Australia. So I'm just saying, look, I'm no marketing genius, right, but I'm envisioning a perfect solution to this where you just have different flavors of it. the the the the the, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I marketing genius, right? But I'm envisioning a perfect solution to this, where you just have different flavors of it that purport to cure different things, but it's all the same thing, like the Duff beer funnels. If you have Crohn's, yes. You have mountain peach flavored whatever this is. Yep. If you have I bias. I don't think they actually do flavors. The bleach makes it kind of that thiiiii.. th flavors it kind th flavors it kind th. th flavors, th flavors, this is, if you have IBS. I don't think they actually do flavors. The bleach makes it kind of difficult for that.

It's more of a branding than an actual flavor. The color of the liquid is different. Well, you also seem to be describing the whole thing with like, um, Neurofin in Australia. Oh, that's like, yeah! The leading ibuprofen brand in Australia and they had several different versions of ibuprofen which would purport to like you could buy one that was like this one takes care of your period paint by zapping it right on the big red dot that we show you on the ad and this one if you got a headache this will take care of your headache extra fast and you look at all of the boxes and they all just have

completely identical ingredients yeah but at different price points it's a it's a cool scam yeah and they did actually get done by I think the TJA or whoever for I think it was the A triple C if I remember correctly for well isn't the whole issue with these things when you purport to have a particular therapeutic benefit that you can't actually prove is the case? Because in this case they were basically saying, oh, if it's located in your uterus, this has a little homing beacon for that. It zaps down the old spiedline. Like the American drug that they had where you applied directly to the forehead for headache

pain except it did nothing, but nothing ever happens because it's America and nothing has consequences. Yeah. So, you know, that's pretty cool. So apparently, what do we got here? In a statement the TGA said there was no clinical, scientifically accepted evidence showing the solution could cure or alleviate any disease. The use of the solution quote presents serious health risks and can result in nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, and severe

hydration, which in some cases can result in hospitalization. Well, let me put it to you that number one, vomiting and diarrhea is getting the cancer slash HIV slash COVID-19 out. Yeah. And I already get that. Number two. Number the. Number the. Number the. the. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the solution. The the solution. The the solution. The the solution. the solution. the solution. the solution. The the solution. the solution. the solution. The the solution. The the solution. The the solution. The the solution. The the solution. The the solution. The the solution. The the solution. the solution. the solution. the solution. the solution. the solution. the solution. the solution. the solution. the solution. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. the th. th. th. too. too. too. too. too. too. to. to. the the to. the the the the the to. the the the solution. the the the the the cancer slash HIV slash COVID-19 out. Yeah. And I already got that. Number two, if you take the thing and you get to go to hospital, what better place to be treated for your many ailments? It's basically a ticket to hospital which is where you need to be for your health problems. You know? Well if the ambulance isn't going to take me if they think there's nothing wrong. Well, and the bleach, and the bleach, and the bleach, and the bleach, and the bleach, and the bleach, and the bleach, and the bleach, and the the the the the the their, and their their the, and thogea, and thogea, and thogea, and thogedue. And that's thoomoomoom. And that's, and that's, and that's, and that. And that. And that. And, and that's that's that's that's that. And, and that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's thi, and thi, and thi, and thi. And thi. And thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the the. the theananananan't the the the the thea. the threatea, and I's the threaten, and the threaten, and the threaten, and take me if they think there's nothing wrong. Well, if the bleach doesn't sort it out, the doctors at the hospital will. It's win, win, win.

You know? They also allege that MMS Australia implied a health practitioner had endorsed the product and that the website included a testimonial endorsing the product from someone directly involved with the production sales supply and marketing of it. They have not removed the product from that website. It's updated the website to say that those seeking miracle cures should pray to the Lord for healing and guidance. But it's that going to get me some bleach. I guess, hmm, you should pray that the bleach Correctly attacks the cancerous cells. I don't

The website also says that those seeking the bleach solution and other products urgently could add a five dollar express shipping vouchers to the online shopping basket to jump to the front of the queue. I need that bleach today. I need that bleach yesterday, you know Bleach pronto. Oh, man. This is so good. I need that bleach yesterday, you know? Bleach pronto. Oh man, this is so good. So I'm just looking up an article about the fucking the Neurophan thing. I am in fact reading an article that I wrote about it and completely forgot every single detail of. First of all, the company that makes Neurifin is called Ricket Benkisser? Excuse me? Uh, you want to give me that again? Rekit Benkisser.

That is the most like, um, American Vine Star. Ack today. Also, this is their statement on it, right? So they got, uh, they ended up having to pay $6 million over this, all thanks to a case brought against them by the A-triple-C. This statement said, Neurofin did not intend to mislead consumers, however we recognize that we could have done more to assist our consumers in navigating the Neurofin specific

pain rage, that is, to show that each of the products in the range is equally effective for the other pains indicated the Neur-fins specific pain range. Why would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would, I, I, I, I, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th, th, th, th, their, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, their, thi, thi, thi, thi. thiuu. thiu. thiu. thiu. their statement, their, their, their, their, their, the other pains indicated to the neurofin specific pain range. Why would you call it? I mean, obviously, because they were trying to mislead people, but how did you think you'd get away from that, calling it the specific pain range and then saying, oh no, it's not for specific pain. Yeah, so instead, like, let's draw this out to its conclusion here. If you were to actually do what they were saying, thiiiiii. the to to to to to to to to to do to do to do to do to do to its conclusion here. If you were to actually do what they were saying, they should have done in that scenario. It would have been saying, hey,

here's the special period pain neurofin also effective for migraines and neckache and all these other things. And you just have to rotate that on each of the pieces of packaging? Mm-hmm. Cool. Solution to all that on each of the pieces of packaging. Mm-hmm. Cool. Solution to all their problems. They should have just made it like a collectible series. Just be like straight up, it's the same thing.

But yeah. Yeah. Oh, I got knees this time. Fantastic. Yeah, yeah. One of those ones where you buy it, and it's in a sort of opaque plastic thing and it's like you don't know which one you're gonna get. That's ideally what you want. Period paid again.

So, um, oh then this is good. This is what you want, right? Now I know what you're thinking. Can I make a website in which I sell bleach and claim that it will fix your cancer? And the answer is the thi thi. that the that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their you're their. I their. I their you're their you're their their their their their their their their their their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I's their. I's their. I's the the the the the the the the the the the. things. the. things theateateateate. theateate. their their their their their their their their their their their their what you're thinking. Can I make a website in which I sell bleach and claim that it will fix your cancer? And the answer is yes. All you've got to do is do what these guys did, right? And you put a little bit of copy on the website. And the copy says, our products, their descriptions and other information posted here, are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent disease. And any apparent reference to same is inadvertent and purely coming to testing. We accidentally said that this bleach will cure your coronavirus. Whoopsy. And you know what? That's on you. That's on you. We do not believe in miracle

cures, but in healthy, wholesome living. That's why we're That's on you. We do not believe in miracle cures, but in healthy, wholesome living. That's why we're selling the bleach and good nutrition to keep the temple of our souls, our bodies clean and free of harmful chemicals and poisons. I'm having a little trouble. Oh, they also believe in the power of quiet contemplation. So, you know, maybe give that a go. But I'm having a little trouble reconciling this with, we keep our souls and bodies clean and free of harmful chemicals and poisons by simply bleaching them away. If you look at their website, they've made a few changes since the regulators came for them. And like under their products there is a two-step list of the different things that this

shit can do for you, and they have just redacted the entire first one. So the second one is like it can help with breaking down dietary something, blah, blah, blah, and then the first one they've just got in brackets we had to remove this for this website to be compliant. Now I thought you were going to take a different tack then as in when you go to their website you'll notice that they've made some changes which is to say that it immediately redirects to a page offline. the whole website is currently down for me. So, I think this is true. Oh, wow. Yeah, there you go. So I think perhaps the first attempt to scrub that information

has not been completely satisfactory. Oh my goodness. So I like that they've decided to pivot to the greatest explanation for why they could possibly be telling people to take fucking sodium chloride? What is it again? No, no, I don't care. Sodium chloride. Which is to try and pass off that they are religious sacraments, that it is part of some sort of religious ritual to consume these things. There's a quote here from the Australian representative of the church. Yep. Um, do you go into the Catholic Church and question them about the wine or the brand that they serve in the Eucharist? No, so why doesn't the world leave us alone? These are our sacraments and we should be free to use it and teach other people to use it.

Now I can think of one important difference here. Uh-huh. Go on. Yeah. I'm wondering whether you can guess. Perhaps the difference between the two that I can see. Is now again, this is just a guess, is it that the little wafers and the wine don't have bleach in them? Ah, yeah, no, it's the bleach thing. Now, the bleach thing is the thing that stuck out to me the most as well. I'm also enjoying, so I just searched MMS, the second link there is the Wikipedia article. I'm enjoying the four articles that it links to in the Google preview, which is chlorine dioxide, ropeworms, sodium chloride and Reese Morgan. I never want to know what a rope worm is, ever. If anyone tells me I'm going to be real fucking

pissed off. A rope worm. Oh damn, this kid's cool. Reese Morgan, when he was 15, he played a key role in raising awareness of the health risks of MMS, a broad detection, tension of the product contained bleach as being illegally marketed as a miracle cure and won the James Randy award for grassroots activism. Oh it's like James Randy the guy who shows that magic is fake. Yes. Awesome. The spall sport. Yeah that guy. The world's wet blanket. Oh yeah I've just gone and received the wet blanket award. You always want to get a wetty, you know? That's a...

Probably to have one of those on your shelf. It's always damp somehow, whenever you toucest it. I don't know how they do that. 2018 wet one. Oh God. This is another great quote this article. This one is from Victoria's Department of Health. This is a direct quote. This isn't like drinking bleach. It literally is drinking bleach. Beautiful.

So what are you getting out? Cut to the chase, god damn it! Oh man, it is literally drinking bleach. How do we get here? You know? How do we get to this whole people drinking bleach to prove some kind of point kind of business? I feel like we've worked our way up to this. This is like a parallel evolution of coming to bleach as a cure thing, right? This is different to Trump's whole, hydro, whatever the fuck that shit is. Like these are people that have independently arrived looking at the problems that before human

bodies are just saying, bleach, if we can clean a toilet. They can clean you. Why, if I, well, what I want is for the insides of me to be clean. So if I would have to take something that cleans things, how would I... Aha! Eureka! I say, pouring myself a big glass of bleach. What if we would have simply inject the sunshine, you know? Mmm. Hmm. What if we would have simply injected the sunshine? You know?

Hmm. Hmm. Very concerning. So Dr. Ken Harvey, associate professor of public health from Monash University, said that he welcomed the fine, but it was not strong enough as a deterrent given the product has been causing issue for years. Quote, yes, the TGA issued infringement notices, but this is just essentially an invitation to pay the fine or go to court and argue their case, he said. In the meantime, the MMS website is still upselling the products with a few extra disclaimers,

and they are now trying to label it as some kind of religious sacrament. What the togui needs to do is to do is to do is to do is, and a safety warning notice and apology put in its place. While an infringement notice is a good step, it hasn't done anything to stop the website, which is still promoting and selling it. Now, we have here the logo of MMS Australia, a ministry of the Genesis 2, Church of Health and Healing. And can you tell me what improvements this has over the Genesis vanilla church and healing? Well, for starters, we've got a big, a big two, but like in the th. the the the the the the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their their their has over the Genesis vanilla church and healing? Well, for starters, we got a big two, but like in Roman numerals, you know, because you don't want to just slap a regular old two on it there.

I think that was maybe your big mistake with Bitcoin too. Roman numerals definitely have more gravitas to them. Classier, classier, you know. It says down the bottom here, Genesis 2 Church, Chapter 316, mostly the Steve Austin fans. And that is in, uh, and that is in comic sands. It is very much in common sense. Sorry, sorry, and I'm not done with the logo yet.

This is a fucking, this is the most dink smallwood-looking logo I've ever seen. This is the kind the kind the kind the kind the kind the kind the kind the kind the kind the kind th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thin kind thin kind thin kind thin kind th. This is th. This is th. th. th. th. thin' thus thus th. thus, thus. the. the. the. the. thusus. thus. thus. thus. thus. thus. thus. thus. thus. thus. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, thi. It's, the. It's the. It's the. It's the. It's thea. It's thea. It's thea. It's thea. It's thean. It's thean. It's thean. It's the. It's the. This is the kind of logo that is, if the guy that made Temple OS could actually draw, this would be the logo for him. It does look like either, maybe the logo of a software company from 1994. Yes. That has just made perhaps a first-person shooter or a civilization knockoff. But I'm also getting strong like Gold's Gym kind of vibes from it as well due to the yellow banner and everything. So you know, it's not so bad, it's very mid-90s vibes. As long as you can ignore the text wrapping around the globe that says

Restoring health to the world Church of health and healing. Yeah, honestly if they ditched those elements That'd be a fucking great logo. Genesis 2 be like um it'd be like a good logo. It'd be like a good good logo. It'd be like a good logo. It'd be like a good logo. It'd be like like like a good like a good like a good like a good like a good like a good like a good like a good like a good like a good like a good like a good like a good like a good like a good like a good like a good like a good like a good like a good like a good like a good like a good like a good like a good like a good like a good like a good like a good like a good. to to the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the health health health health health the the the the the health health health thea.ea.ea.ea. the the the the the the the the stuff about being a church of health and healing if you took that stuff off it would maybe be a good good logo for your like vapor wave record label you know that's putting out like Seinfeld remixes so that's good I'm excited to see where this all goes you know I feel like we're having a sort of collective moment, humanity, where remember when like, people used to poison themselves on mass, but it was more of a cult kind of thing, it was more of a, we all got together on this island and we all drank the

coolade together. There's definitely a culty element to this though, if you, um, because like this, this MMS things not new, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, and we, and we, and we, and we, and we, and we, and we to, and we to, and we all, and we all, and we all, and we all, and we all, and we all, and we, and we, and we, and we, and we, and we, and we, and we, and we, and we, and we, and we, and we, and we, and we, and we, and we, and we, and we, and we, and we, and we, and we all, and, to, to, to,'s definitely a culty element to this though if you, um, because like this this MMS thing's not new, right? And the stuff on YouTube has been covered, I think, in depth and to, uh, tedium elsewhere. But like, it's this extremely old dude. I don't, have you guys seen the videos, the older MMS videos? I have not. There's this guy that's like 900 years old.

And he's just, he's just having a little sippy cup of bleach. And then the comments of course would just, you know, fucking. Comment after comment about like, you know, how he's persecuted for, you know, his genius brain that has told everyone to drink bleach etc etc like this is definite there's a definite a cult attribute to this There's a movie called the Sacrament which is a found footage horror movie movie long-time listeners I'm sure we'll know that I'm a big found footage horror movie buff and like one of the more unusual things about it is it is that it is that I'm a big found footage horror movie buff. And like one of the

more unusual things about it is that the the conceit of the movie is basically that a news crew goes to talk to this you know religious community obviously a cult. The whole thing is based on like the Jonestown massacre. Except that they're a crew from like vice. obviously a cult. The whole thing is based on like the Jonestown massacre. Except that they're a crew from like Vice. So the first like five or ten minutes of this thing are like filmed in a Vice office and it's presented as though it is a Vice production and they use the logo and all that sort of stuff. Very weird, very off putting. But basically there's the whole part at the end where someone has been unable to prevent the Jonestown massacre type mass drinking of poison from taking place.

And they basically play out the whole thing on film of, what would it actually be like if you got several hundred people to drink poison at the same time? And all ride around dying in a big pile, you know? But, but yeah, I feel, I I I I I I I I I I I I I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I feel, I feel, I feel, I feel, I feel, I feel, I feel, I feel, I feel, I feel, th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the an at the same time and all writhe around dying in a big pile, you know? But yeah, I feel like it used to be a very, a very culty thing as opposed to like I just saw this on the internet and thought I would order myself up a batch, sit around at home, sipping on my little sippy cup of bleach. Well the difference is probably largely geographical, right? Like, it used to be for information to pass, it was more, more local, whereas people now just put this shit on the internet and anybody can see it. And that's a good thing, apparently.

I was talking to someone about this the other day. Like, obviously it's very pastay to say at this point. But when we had those like, you know, videos of like Bill Gates and David Bowie and like the 90s and stuff saying, oh, the internet's going to completely change society. It's going to completely change how people communicate and this massive flow of information. And yes it did, but also it has facilitated the massive flow of the same information to the same people. And like this is really borne out on things like, the internet the internet the internet the internet. the internet. the internet. It the internet. It the internet. It's, the internet. It's, the internet. It's, the internet. It's, the internet, the internet, the internet, the internet, the internet, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, the internet, the internet, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, the, the internet, the internet, the internet, the internet, the internet, the internet, the internet, the internet, the internet, the internet, the internet, the internet, the internet, the internet, the internet, the internet, the internet, the internet, the internet, the internet, the internet, the internet, the internet, the internet, the internet, the internet, the internet, the internet, the internet, the internet, the internet, the internet, the internet, the internet, the internet, the internet, the internet, the internet, the internet, the internet, the internet, the massive flow of the same information to the same people. And like this is really borne out on things like Instagram,

where you can look at Instagram and see like just multi-level marketing scams, still just absolutely running wild. We were talking about this thing the other day of like influences on Instagram, giving away cash. And the whole this thing the other day of like influences on Instagram giving away cash and the whole thing with them is like... I didn't hear about this. Can I get some cash? It's free money.

Free money. Free money. But basically there's still all these things happening out there that are just the equivalent of a chain letter. Chain letters which have been around forever and people have always kind of laughed at as like, imagine receiving a letter that was like, if you mail me several dollars, I will make you rich, you know? I think that's what a chain letter is. Whatever. What is a chain letter then? You tell me? You got to mail on some more letters? That's right. Yep. That's exactly what a chain letter is. Yeah what is what is what is what is what is what is the ch? What is the ch? What is the ch? What is the ch? What is the ch? What is the ch? What is the ch? What is the ch? What is the ch? What is the ch? What is the ch-a? What is a ch-a? What is a ch-a? What is a ch-a? What is a ch-a? What is a chai. What is a chai. What is a cha? What is a letter? What is a letter? What is a letter? What is a letter? What is a letter? What is a letter? What is a letter? What is a letter? What is a letter? What is a letter? What is a letter? What is a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the? What is? What is a letter? What is? What is a the? the? the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the letter? the the the letter? the letter? the the the that's exactly what a chain letter is, yeah. Yeah, but you got it. What does the chain letter ask you to do besides mailing some

more letters? Nothing, that's it. You just said them out. You mail, you mail more letters than you received. Sounds like a pyramid scheme. It's like an upper letter. Is this your learning about chain letters right now. Chain letters aren't a scam. They're not a kind of scam. No, they're just a specifically more like annoying thing. Yeah, they're like a... Back when no one, you know, like you could have a sense of wonder about anything, the idea that a letter had traveled quite far was like the most exciting thing

that someone could imagine. Yeah, and it had gotten to you because the previous to to to to to that someone could imagine. Yeah, and it had gotten to you because the previous person had sent ten letters on and so you're kind of like bloodbound now to send ten letters on to more people. I think that both of these things exist. Yeah, but what you're describing is a scam. Did you, did you send them, did you send them money? Would you like to hear, did you give them money? Would you like to hear the Wikipedia synopsis of the concept of a chain letter? No, no, because it sounds like it does agree with what I, no, I think this, we could just, we can just, 30 minutes on the clock.

So we've got a, no reason to, the chain letter is a message that attempts to convince the recipient to make a number of copies and pass them onto a certain number of recipients. So far. And we can stop there. So perfect. Perfect. Common methods used in chain letters include emotionally manipulative stories, get rich quicks, pyramid schemes or a scam.

Wait, so you just paraphrase that to say scam? Yeah, so no, schemes is not a scam. So I thi th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, thi. So, thi. So, thi. So, thi. So, thi. So, th. thi. thi. thi. thi. So, thi. thi. So, thi. So, thi. So, thi. So, that to say scam? I threw it in there. Yeah, so no, scheme's not a scam, so I think Fiona, right, you're wrong. This isn't scheme watch. You write something goddamn right. And we will never do scheme watch. Never ask us to do scheme watch. Anyway, the point is, yeah, I think a lot of people with the concept of chain letters were like, imagine getting a letter and being like, I now have to do something because I received a letter.

But no, people are still doing exactly this kind of thing. People are still going, oh, if I follow these 20 people on Instagram, someone will give me $20,000. If I reply to this email with my bank details all that kind of stuff. It's just the in in the internet has made everything worse is that fair? Yeah I think so. Yeah. Okay. It probably helped us get like... Sometimes you'll see a nice recipe. Yeah, that's true. Well they didn't used to have recipes so that's true.

No, I but but, I mean, on that note, it feels like we've only just worked out recipes in the last 15 years or so, because recipes used to be awful. I was having that exact thought tonight while I was cooking dinner for some reason. They hadn't worked out how food worked. Very confusing. Especially like Australia because we hadn't worked out, we hadn't gotten to the stage where we'd realize that there is essentially no such thing as Australian culture. So we had, have to, you know. I was going to say this is a very white thing to say. This is a very 100%.

100%. Let's be specific about Australian recipes. Like, I've got some old recipe books, and they are god-awful. They just hadn't worked it out. Put the sun-dried tomatoes on top of the facacia. Well, you notice everyone's back on facacia now, though? You know, I gotta drive down to Brumbiys, get me a faccia. Everyone's making fucking fuccacasha at the moment, thanks to Bon Appetit and thanks to fucking

Salt Fat Acid Heat, everyone's making Facasha. Well, they're fucking good. They're good except, hear me out here. It was not good in the 90s, 90s F sandwich. It was like dry as shit as well Nines Fikasha was fucking ass it was horrible. Yeah, I don't think you should be expected to eat Fikasha as a main meal. Well you just think you're kind of cut up and put on the side of something. Yeah. Would you like a little bit of Fakasha? Oh sure. Love a little bit of a little bit of fucasha? the plate of nothing but for cacha? No. Is there a kind of a special kind of diabetes you can get from eating too much salt?

I think. Because I feel like you could arrive at that. It's called salt diabetes. Salinity poisoning. Oh, so yeah the internet has fucked up a lot of stuff and hey, so is coronavirus, which you can cure by drinking a tincture of bleach. Or by eating a lot of fikasha. Yes. That is my new scam. But those two things have given us some other stuff. Like for example, Robert Pattinson photographing himself in isolation for a profile in GQ.

Which made a lot of people go, he looks like shit. He looks like shit his hair is silly. It's like, have you ever seen? Yeah, have you? I absolutely saw somebody saying like, hey, he was 1,000 percent taking the piss out of the concept of like the GQ photo shoot and everybody's going for it. And that may well be true because Robert Pattinson, as a person and an actor and all that sort of stuff, clearly is not taking himself very seriously. Clearly is not taking many things that he's involved with very

seriously. I was reminded by all of this Robert Patton's and Buzz of like you can find videos on YouTube where people have compiled all of his all these moments from press junkets from when he was in all the Twilight movies. Well when he just endlessly kept saying how much the movies suck and how he hates being famous? Yeah and and this is not like, you know, 10 years after Twilight, he was like, you know what? I actually didn't really enjoy it. This is when he's meant to be promoting the movie that's about to come out. And he's like, these books are dog shit. Yeah, that's a man who's realized that he has all of the leverage in the world. Yeah, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, that's, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, thi's thi's thi, thi, thi's thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii's not thi, thi, thi, the leverage in the world. Just, just, um, yeah, watching all of those interviews where he's just like, why is a 108-year-old guy trying to fuck a 16-year-old? What's going on in this movie?

You know? So I think he's always had that strain of, I don't really, I don't care if I get fired from Twilight, you know, which is fine. So he did a profile in GQ and he did his own photography, which is very good. Ben, what kind of lens do you think they sent to him to do those photos? I was sort of trying to figure this out for myself, like if you were going to make a celib who, my assumption is that no ceilab can do anything which I think probably bears out in real life how would you how you would do it in a way because like some of the photos in there very thin plane of focus they've

managed to get his eyes in focus which is like the thing you want to do when you're doing portrait photography but I also just assume that they may be like just told him to hold the shutter button down and just motor drive the fuck out of it so that they could just choose whichever good ones turned out. I don't know. I was very curious about that process. But I also didn't read the whole article and maybe they spoke about that. I don't know what they did either either tho one part of the article that was a particular interest to everybody. And that was Robert

Patton's in talking about his idea had an idea for a product that he wants to make. So I'll just I'll hear with it here from this profile GQ. Last year he says he had a business idea. What if he said to himself? Quote, pasta really had the same kind of fast food credentials as burgers and pizzas. I was trying to figure out how to capitalize in this area of the market and I was trying to think, how do you make a pasta which you can hold in your hand? The thing that we all, that we've all been begging for. My hand pasta. He says he went so far as to design a prototype that involved the use of a Pinini press,

and then he says he went even further setting up a meeting with Los Angeles restaurant Lili Masimini, the co-founder of Sugarfish and proprietor of the Santa Monica pasta restaurant, Ovo. I told him my business plan, Patterson recalls, and his facial expression didn't even change afterwards, let alone acknowledge what my plan was. There was absolutely no sign of anything from him literally. So it kind of put me off a little bit. Masomini says, it's 100% true, everything he told you.

I love the idea of telling like a restaurant guru your idea and them just, them just giving you like Nathan for you face for the entire thing. This is an absolute Nathan for you like concept though as well. Yep until you just eventually leave. Oh god damn. Nevertheless, Pansom said he conceived of a brand name for his product, a soft little moniker that kind of summed up what he thought his pasta creation looked like. Picolini-Cusino, little pillow.

He thought he'd give the product another go with me now. Maybe if I say it in GQ, maybe like a partner will just come along. So now he takes hold of the bag he's bought from the grocery store out of which he produces the following. One giant filthy dust-covered box of cornflakes. I went to the shops and they didn't sell breadcrumbs. So I'm like, oh fuck it, I'm getting cornflakes. That's basically the same shit. One incredibly large novelty lighter. I always like like the idea like the idea like the idea like the idea like the idea the idea I always like the idea of doing a little flumbay like the brand name with the kind of burnt

ends at the top. He's working for you, Theo. Nine packs of pre-sliced cheese. Sauce, like a tomato sauce? Quote, just any sauce. He puts on latex gloves. He pulls out some sugar and aluminium foil and makes a bed a kind of hollowed out sphere with the foil. He holds up a box of pen pasta that he had in the house. All right, Patinson says, obviously, first things first, you got to microwave the pasta.

What a fucking freak! What a fucking freak. I... So, alright. He pours the dry panay into a cereal bowl, covers it with water and places it in the microwave for eight minutes. Eight minutes. He says using pen a new territory for him. He usually uses, well, quote, do you know the pasta that's like a little, it's a little blob, sort of a squiggly blob? Do we want to guess? Do we want to hazard a guess

what he's referring to here? A little, a sort of squiggly blob? Well, he gives one more clue in the next, and then we'll see. He says like the hair bun on a girl, but also that it's not yorky. I think he's talking about, what's the one where it's like a little pinched bow? Tortellini. No. No, it's not a stuffed one. Not a stuffed one. It's a little bow tie.

Like the bow tie ones. A little bow tie ones. What are the ones? Far Far Far Far Far Far Far. Those ones, I think he's speaking about that. Either that or maybe he's talking about like a little Orochetti, you know if he's talking about a bun, because that's round. He spelled out on. Oh, there we go. Let's have a look. I think I know the one you're talking about. Oh, yeah. That's a good pastor. A little rolled thumb. Underapprecireci appreciated appreciated appreciated appreciated appreciated appreciated appreciated appreciated appreciated appreciated appreciated appreciated appreciated. Now. thu. that. thu. that. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that one. that one one. that one that's that. that's that. I that. I that one that one that one. I that one. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that's a good pasta. A little rolled thumb. Underappreciated. Now I will say that I have made attempts in my life to try and do things like, you know,

cook ramen or pasta or whatever in the microwave, and it fucking sucks. Anything that involves you having to put something in water, in the microwave for like over three minutes means that that water is just boiling and blasting over the side of the bowl. It's a it's an okay way to steam dumplings if you've got like three minutes to do it in. Yeah I guess um but generally speaking like I don't want to be cooking pasta, rice any of these things in the microwave. This is no bue no to me. So he sticks pen-a-and-water in the microwave eight minutes. In the meantime he takes the foil and begins dumping sugar on top of it. I found after a lot of experimentation that you really need to

congeal everything in an enormous amount of sugar and cheese. So after the sugar, he opens his first package of cheese and begins layering slice after slice onto the sugar foil. Then more sugar. It really needs a sugar crust, he says. Then he realizes he's forgotten the outer layer, which is supposed to be breadcrumbs, but today will be crushed up cornflakes, and so he lifts the pile of cheese and sugar and crumbles some cornflakes onto the aluminium foil before placing the sugar cheese back on top of it. Then he adds to the cheese back on it. Then he adds heavily, which is reddusts, which is red.

The microwave d'iola in anyway. The microwaved itself promptly bibly begun to flag. I mean, there's absolutely no chance this is going to work. Absolutely none, he says. The little pillow now mostly built, he pours more sugar on top of it and then produces the top half of a bun, which he hollows out, places on the res on the rest of whatever the hell this thing is thing is thing istop of the bun with a giant novelty lighter. I'm going to do the initials. You look like you're cooking meth, I say, because he does. At this point he accidentally

ignites one of his latex gloves which promptly melts onto his palm. He yells in pain and then gingerly holds up the finished product. Some approximation of a pea followed by a C for Piccolini Cushino burned into the top of a hamburger bun. This is a performance art piece. This cannot be anything but Robert Pattinson fucking with me specifically. Well have you ever heard the clown car story? No? That Robert Pattonson was doing an interview on a TV show?

Um, and he said, like, he got asked about something, maybe the circus, and he said, oh no, I hate the circus, ever since I was a child, when I saw a clown die at the circus. And a person said, oh my god, what happened? and he said, yeah, um, um, it's this. It's, this. It's, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this is, this, this is, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's was, that's was, that's was, that's was, that's was, that's was, that's was, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that's that's the the the the the the the the the at the circus. And a person said, oh my God, what happened? And he said, yeah, um, it's a horrible crash. His little car was on fire. And he said that he saw a clown die at the circus in a little clown car crash, in all seriousness on this show. And he got asked about it years later and he was like, yeah I don't know why I said that. I just love the idea of being famous and

not taking any of those like any of those sorts of things like going and doing a talk show seriously. Yeah. You know Harrison Ford looks like he's just high of shit, everything he does. Because he is. Yeah, but also, of course. Why wouldn't he? It's definitely the way you want to be. My goodness. He starts wrapping the whole thing up in more aluminium foil, and then compacts it

and then wraps it some more and squeezes it again. Suddenly he stops. Can you actually put foil in an oven? I say yes you can but what you absolutely cannot do is put foil in a microwave and he says cool cool then he goes looking for his oven which he's never used and this is a nice house that there are multiple options and the one he settles on looks like a microwave to me. He assures me it is not. I reckon probably 10 minutes? He puts the aluminium sphere, the little pillow, into what he thinks is an oven and I think is a microwave. He attempts to turn it on. He fumbles at the buttons.

Oh, oh, he says excitedly, a thousand watts. There you go. Proudly he is walking back towards the counter that his phone is on when behind him a lightning bolt erupts from the oven slash microwave and patents and ducks like someone outside his open fire. He's giggling and crouching as the oven throwns off stray flickers of light and sound. The fucking electricity, my god, he says still on the floor. And then with a loud final bang, the oven slash microwave goes dark. In a silence, Patinson and I stare at the mysterious the mysterious the mysterious the mysterious the mysterious the mysterious the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the goes dark. In a silence Pattinson and I both stare at the mysterious piece of machinery built into the wall behind him. Yeah I think I

have to leave that alone he says. Sighing again but that is a picolini kushina. You know when you go to put something in your oven and you set it to a thousand watts? Yes 10 minutes on a thousand watts? Yes. Ten minutes on a thousand watts, thank you, oven. Either he's doing a really committed bit which involves breaking a microwave, or he is completely fucking insane now. I think both are very funny. Yeah. Celabs, you know, they're not used to dealing with this sort of crisis. They're just like, they're just like, oh, oh, they're, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, th, oh, th, oh, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thin, th, th-y, thin, th, th-y, th-y, thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks are very funny. Hmm, yeah. CLEbs, you know, they're not used to dealing with a sort of crisis. They're just like us. That's so true. It's just like me constantly exploding my

microwave. Yep. It's for shit's and giggles, you know. Ben, would you like to give us a failed state update? I would love to give you a failed state update and we'll just play the failed state theme right here. Wow, I didn't even know you had the soundboard plugged in. It's always plugged in. All right, this is a story from arguably our favorite publication, The Orlando Sentinel. It's right up there.

It's the top five for sure. A 73-year-old man was waiting in line at the deli counter of an Orlando Publix store on Saturday when he noticed the man next in line was glaring at him. So what can I do for you? The shopper asked the staring man, according to a police report. Do we know each other? That's when the other man stepped back, drew a handgun and aimed at the shopper's face. You don't want to fuck with me, the gunwilling man said, according to the shopper's account.

Somewhat accurately. The shoppe backed up with his hands raised, then the gunman slipped the weapon under his shirt before walking away. The incident prompted a commotion at the Kirkman Road store with customers, employees fleeing as word spread of a man with a gun, police said. No one was hurt, but investigators are seeking the public's help to identify the man who was wearing a mask and gloves. The incident happened just before 6.06 South Kirkman Road. Multiple callers told 911 operators thethere was a man with a gun inside the store.

Public's employees described the victim as a regular at the store and said the gunman seemed furious. Surveillance video matched the victim's account and showed the government had his finger on the trigger during the entire counter. Ugh. The man was wearing a white baseball hat with sunglasses on it, a blue surgical mask, a dark blue short-sleeve shirt with feeler on it, blue jeans, blue surgical gloves, and dark grey shoes with black laces. While he has not been apprehended, confusion inside the store brought to the police to track down another man they were determined wasn't involved.

Amid the commotion, a public's employee saw a similar looking man to the gunman walking with his hand rested on a gun in his waistband, the report said. The employee recounted that observation to the police and gave a description of that man's vehicle. An Orange County Sheriff's office helicopter found the vehicle at an extended stay hotel and major boulevard where officers confronted him. They later determined using the surveillance video that he was not involved. The man was legally carrying a concealed weapon inside the store when the scaret publics

happened according to Orlando police. What a fucking nightmare land? What a fucked up country? Well, there's just a gun I like to tickle. My finger gets awful itchy. The grocery store gun. On my murder weapon, walking around, while coincidentally someone else makes a bad name for guys carrying guns at the grocery store.

Just like browsing the toys section, whistling casually, occasionally pulling out the gun, like, flicking open the barrel. Making sure a round is chambered, checking that the safety is off. Just ceasing the trigger a little bit, just to test that it still moves. Asking passes by whether they can see a bullet down the barrel. Look down here for a second. Does this look well-ripled? Do you look loaded? I saw a couple of other outlets that covered this said that the guy specifically had a complaint that the service was slow, but I could not get that substantiated at all.

Well, that explains it. I think it's worthwhile, like, maybe a little context for Americans as to how ridiculous this concept is. I have never seen a gun in public that it's not like being held by a service person or like it's the Anzac Day parade or anything like that. Right, like, I remember being like a kid and when the security guys would come into woolies that would like get the tens of thousands of dollars of cash out and take it to the bank trucks or whatever you would just want to reach for the gun yeah well it's very tempting but it was weird even seeing those guys have guns yeah yeah absolutely you're

like oh that's a that's a thing that can just straight like my eyes are still drawn to guns when they're you know on police officers or whatever because it's it is still like so strange to just be near them and it's just not part of our lives at all and that's nice I yeah I'm sure it's a thing that we've spoken about at length before, but I just cannot even begin to comprehend the psychic pressure of knowing that any person that you talk to, like particularly if you're in a state like Florida or whatever, like places that are just ape shit about like, yeah, and if I like knock on the door wrong open carry and concealed carry and I still remember like reading about them changing the law in Florida so that you know obviously they

had done the they have like the castle doctrine stuff so if somebody breaks in your house you're allowed to immediately murder them but then they also have the stand your ground laws so that you don't have to actually be in your house. You no longer have any obligation to try and like run away from somebody who is threatening you. You can just immediately kill them. And then they've got their open carry laws and they called carry laws. And they passed a law so that your workplace can't stop you from carrying a gun at work. Awesome. So it used to be like you could open carry a gun, but if your workplace had a policy that was like, we'd probably rather you didn't walk around with a holstered glock on your hip.

You know, so that you could like check that the servers are okay. But instead it's like, no, no, we had to pass a specific thing so that your employer can't say, you kind of have to leave the gun in the car, Gary. Very cool. That's a nightmare. I like that the... So this is the tweet from Orlando Police, which... If you read it the way I do in my head is very, very funny to me. Who is he?

Uh, I think they mean more. Who is he? We're hoping new surveillance video will help us identify a man who pulled out a gun in public for the day before Mother's Day. He appeared to go from shopping for flowers, balloons, and stakes to scaring a lot of people. Flowers, balloons, stakes, the fear of death. The classic Mother's Day trifector of flowers, balloons and stakes. That's just, that's not what anyone needs, any of that.

No. That gets the big Buntavista no-thank-you from me. The crime pass for this week is if someone pulls a gun on you at the supermarket, you can do all the like weird cool martial arts moves from the film upgrade and just fucking destroy the guy. Shall we read a letter before we get out of him? Oh, why not? Please. What do you think?

Which are you pick one, Ben? Which of these would you like to read to us the listeners? Because me and Theo are also technically still listening? Technically? Not like active listening. Uh, technically? That's not like active listening. No, certainly not. You know Theo is always clicking around? Oh, we love to click.

All right, I'm going to read this one. Largely because it's addressed to me specifically. Hello, Budavista. Hello to you. Long-time list from the show, one-time terms terrace to Australia to Australia to Australia to Australia to Australia to Australia to Australia to Australia to Australia to Australia to Australia to Australia to Australia to Australia to Australia to Australia to Australia to Australia to Australia to Australia to Australia to Australia to Australia to Australia to Australia to you. Long-time listener of the show, one-time tourist to Australia, I wanted to write in after hearing Ben's great experience of watching Blue Planet while on LSD. I think again thoroughly recommend that to everyone. Ben said the two best decisions in his life were dropping acid and watching two episodes of the Blue Planet. However, I'd like to caution listeners about Ben's advice as I have a similar story which was not such a great a great a great a great a great a great a great a great a great a great a great a great a great a great a great a great a great a great a great a great a great a great a great a great a great a great a great a th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, I took LSD, it was with my husband, no-time listener of the show. We also thought watching a Blue Planet or Planet Earth installment while

it kicked in would be a good idea. However, the only show by the BBC Natural History Unit, the team that makes Blue Planet and Planet Earth battle on Netflix was their limited series that focused on different regions of the continent of Africa and its wildlife. The episodes are titled accordingly, Savannah, Kalahari, the Cape, etc. We got in a few episodes into the series before dropping acid and we thought we'd dip back in for our trip. However, that day, the next episode up in the sahara episode. We were excited, a big fuck off desert. This was going to be great.

Reader, it was not. As the acid started to kick in, Sir Attenborough described the massive stands at all that can happen at any moment in Sahara, quote, sometimes a thousand kilometers across, as the aerial footage expanded to reveal what was indeed a terrifying sandstorm that was far, far too large. After that, we learned about the fabled singing sands of the Sahara, which is when the colossal dunes shift and th, and th, and th, and thss thiiiii, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, thi, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, to be to be to be to be thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thuuuuuuuuii, thi, thi, thi, thands of the Sahara, which is when the colossal dunes shift and their mass reverberates across the landscape. Have you ever thought about how much sand there is? Don't!

This being the first time I'd take an acid, I was determined to journal the experience. I put my journal and tried to document what I was seeing. After about 10 minutes of thinking about all that said, my husband asked me what I'd put in my journal. Well, I've written the word very, I replied, and I think I'll have to stop. A noble effort. Butifully, the footage of too much sand ended,

and we were going to meet some of the fauna of the Sahara. Sir Attenborough introduced us to the sub the sub the sub the sub the sub the sub the sub the sub to to to the sub to to to to to the sub to to to meet some of the fauna of the Sahara. Sir Attenborough introduced us to the subterranean naked molerat. They are the longest living rodent, and they live in ant-like colonies beneath the singing sands. Footage for their colonies are extremely upsetting. Imagine 30 sentient testicles with tidy beaver teeth at one end in a dark sand pit. That's what those little horrors look like, like ants or termites. Naked Mollrat societies have one dominant female who also acts as the brood queen. After achieving dominance, the spine of the brood queen elongates, which signals she is

ready for mating. The film crew was kind enough to show us the tripping ball's viewers a pregnant brood queen in all of her lovecrafty and glory. Oh. brood queen in all of her lovecrafty and glory. At this point my husband said he was too distressed to continue the episode. I enthusiastically agreed we turned off Africa and began watching music videos by a French band Air until moving on to our... moving on to pet our dog Bo for several hours for going for a long walk to awake to watch the sunset. We were thankful that unlike the naked mole rat,

Bo is covered in fur and lives us in a house instead of in a twisting mass of pale flesh beneath the nightmare desert. I agree that the combination of psychedelics and the work of the BBC Natural History Unit can be a great way to appreciate the majesty of the natural world, but please, please, please aim yourself at some less liming and ghastly environments of it if you choose to do so. All the best tripping in Canada.

P.S. As a sign-off, I'll mention that about a month before my one and only trip to Australia, I took LSD again. This time I went alone to our small town's local cinemathe film would get me hyped for the trip. It started to kick in during the trailers. When the movie started though, something was wrong with the picture. It was blurred and shifted in a way I couldn't even describe, I couldn't describe it even though I was wearing my 3D glasses.

For a brief moment, I thought that LSD had given me the power of immunity to the effect of 3D images. But then loud complaints rose in the theatre and someone dropped over the projector and corrected the picture. Someone in the booth had forgotten to turn on the 3D lens. Notice a projectionist everywhere, please pay attention to your equipment. Some of us in the audience are on drugs. That's fair. It's always kind of a gamble with various types of substances as to what is actually going to be a good time for you. Oh man, when you're... Things... I feel like you want to know ahead of time. Yeah but you can't know, you can't know until you're there. I feel like the, at the point when the Brue Queen's spine elongates, so that one, I just put that in the, in the no-thank-you pile. The no-thank-a, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I, th. th. th. I, th. th, thi, thi, thi, th, thi, the, th, the, th, the, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. thin, thin, that, thin, that, thin, to, to, to, thin, to, the, thin, the, thin, the, thin, the, thin, thi, thi, th. that in the no pile. The no thank you pile.

Also, if anyone knows what movie I briefly saw while I was an accident and involved the Beatles going up and down a spiral staircase for what felt like about four hours, please write in, because I don't know what that was. It's probably a movie with the Beatles in it. It might not be. I'm just going to put that out there. I don't know if I mentioned this when I was talk about to to to to to to to to to to to the to to to the to to to to the to to to to the to to to the movie it was to to to to to to to to to to the movie to the movie it the movie it was the movie the movie it was that the movie it that movie it the movie it the movie it the movie it was the movie the movie the movie the movie the movie that that that that that that th th. I was th th th, I was th th th th th th th th th th th th the movie the movie the movie the movie the movie the movie I was the movie I was the movie I was the the the movie I was the th be. I'm just going to put that out there. I don't know if I mentioned this when I was talking about on the last episode, but I did have one part watching the Coral Reef episode where things got really dark, where at this point I had it on mute. I was listening to boards of Canada. It was very, very nice, but it was clearly, at the end of every episode, he brings it back to climate change, which, you know, is great.

But also, it just showed a bunch of really anemic dolphins playing with a bit of dead coral, and just like over masses of bleached dead coral. And it was one of the most sinister things I've ever seen in my life. I spent a good like three minutes just being like, oh, these dolphins are evil, and they are out to get me. That was very intense. Rest of it, though, lovely. Do acid, it's great. Hey, Theo. According to this scan of a book called The Beatles Encyclopedia,

Everything Fab for Volume 2, page 1,053. Oh my God. From the book on Google Books. During the Made for Television Magical Mystery tour film, your mother should know, provides the music for the movies grand finale in which the Beatles, wearing white tuxedos descend into the awaiting throng from an elongated spiral staircase. Fuck.

Does that sound? Your mother shouldn't. Okay, all right. In 1989, we and Al Yankov, filmed a parody sequence of the Beatles spiral staircase grand finale scene has a segment in his music video for UHF. That's a good movie, UHF. It is. Well, have a look. No, I don't think this was it.

Jesus Christ. Must have been a different one. That's it for us, everybody. Thanks for stopping by as we try to help each other and just get brutal shot down. What are the goonies? What are you mistook the goodies for the Beatles or you think the Beatles were in an episode of the Goonies. You mistook the Goody's for the Beatles or you think the Beatles were in an episode of the Goonies? I mean, I'm thinking of the Goody's.

Oh, sorry, I'm thinking of the goodies. The goodies. Yeah, yeah. We'll work that out. We might not. We might not. Well, until next week, thank you very much for stopping by, and please, please, th and please, th and th and th and th and th and th and th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. th. th. Thank, th. Thank, th. Thank, th. Thank, th. Thank, th. Thank, th. Thank, th. Thank, th. Thank, th. Thank, th. Thank, th. Thank, th. Thank, th. Thank, th. Thank, th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. Thank,. Come on. You want to be magnetic. You want to be magnetic. You want all your metal filings to stick to you. You want to cure your anxiety. All of your metal filings? Like you just accumulating a lot of those in your day-to-day life.

My many metal filings. That's it folks. We'll see you next week. Bye-bye. Bye. Bye. you to be