Boonta Vista - UNLOCKED BONUS EPISODE: By The Dim Light Of The Sex Candelabra (with Jesse Black)

Episode Date: February 19, 2023

Fish correspondent, ex-husband of the show and podcast host Jesse Black joins Lucy and Ben to talk about: Sex lamps, sturgeon lifespan, perfume poisoning, chicken sludge, and how to get away with arson. *** Check out Jesse's new podcast here: https://sludgefest.substack.com/ Follow him on Twitch here: https://www.twitch.tv/yallseenthisfish Follow him on Twitter here: @jesseblacksci *** It's Freemium Freebruary! Bonus episodes are free for this, the shortest month of the year, so that you will hopefully grow dependent on them. They go back behind the paywall in march so enjoy it while it lasts!

Hello and welcome to Buntavista. It actually is Christmas lights in the world so you can see kind of the world. You're crazy that way. You're like crazy that way. The gentle hissing, you're going to some aquarium filter like right there. I guess it is constant noise. It is constant noise. Oh, more there. Sorry, this is a constant movement. It is constantly just. I'm welcome. Hello and welcome to Buntavista.

This is a bonus episode. I am Ben and I'm here in Belize. 300 meters below the surface and slowly descending as we head to the bottom of the great blue hole in a three-seater Triton submersible's 1650-shrase 3. With me, urgently needing urgently need urgently need urgently need urgently need skipped lunch and struggling quite badly with her claustrophobia and mesophonia, it's Lucy. Hi, Lucy. Hi, I really need to piss. Yeah. I'm glad I skip lunch though because I don't need to go to the bathroom for other things. Yeah, that's true. That wouldn't be much worse. You are in an acrylic bubble that I think is probably about 1.2 to 1.4 meters in diameter.

There's no really like a... I don't want a piece in here. Yeah, there's no privacy curtain or anything. Like, it's kind of just like I have an empty Mount Franklin bottle. Yeah? And we can probably, like, I mean if it's like that bad. Wow, that's male privilege, you know? Yeah. Yeah. Can't aim that bad. Wow, that's male privilege, you know? Yeah. Yeah. Can't aim that well.

I was in, I was in a submarine for about 20 minutes and I immediately was just like, but what happens if, what happens if I need to piss real bad? Like what, what do I do? What if you burp? Water, water everywhere, but nowhere to piss. Yeah, how coolly ironic to be surrounded by the biggest, the biggest, the biggest, the biggest, the biggest, the biggest, thi. thi-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-s, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, thi-a-soo-soa-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a, I's, I's, I's, I's, I. that's, I. that's, I. that's, I. that's, I. that's, I. that's, I. thi-a-s. thi-s. thi-s. that's, I's, I's, I's-s. that's-s. ta-sa-sa-sa-sa-sa-sa-sa'-sa-sa-sa'eroo'-sa-sa-s. thoer-s. to be surrounded by the biggest toilet in the solar system. Well, yeah, yeah, I think that's fair to say. What about Sydney? I think Sydney's smaller to the ocean.

That doesn't sound right. But it's a toilet, that's true. Also with us, intermittently sighing loudly, whistling, tapping on the glass, chewing on some beef jerky with his mouth open, yawning, scratching himself and making his chair squeak. It's Buntavista Marine Biology Correspondent and host of the podcast SludgeFest is Jesse Black. Hey Jesse. Hello. Welcome. How you. How you doing? I don't know I said welcome to your podcast, but I've kind of welcomed you into this same room. We're th. to to to to to to the too. too. their too. their their too. too. their too. too. their too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. their their too podcast but I've kind of welcomed you into this same room. We're looking at you in your bedroom I presume your office slash bedroom so I assume you're welcoming us into that space. Yes, well you're welcoming the

listener into your bedroom which honestly seems a little slutty of you. Yes welcome listeners. Please come on come on you. Take your shoes off. You've started a podcast. I did. So I've been reading a lot recently about like industrial disasters and like ecological crimes and stuff and like just really nasty things online, especially on Wikipedia. And originally I started like thinking of stories to you guys and then I started reading them and they were like some of the most depressing things I've ever read. And I was like, well I don't want to like darken their door necessarily with like tales of carcinogens being.

Yeah. Yeah. We're more of a party atmosphere. Yeah, we have fun here. We have fun. We're like fun, fun, fun, fun fun, fun, fun, fun people. I always have a great time. But I their their their their their their their their their their their their time. their time. their time time time time time time time time time time time time. I their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. I their. I their their their their their their their their their their their their their times. I times. I times. I times. I times. I times. times. times. times. times. times. times. times. times. times. times. times. times. times. lot and like rare forms of liver cancer that people get from industrial accidents. So I decided to funnel some of that into writing about stories that make me feel really gross about how humans treat the environment and stuff, starting especially with the East Palestine trained derailment, which by the way it is pronounced Palestine and not Palestine. Yeah, I assumed your confidence in pronouncing it that way meant that that that's that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that thi thi thi-in thi-in thi-in thi-in industrial ac ace-in industrial thustustustustustustial ace industrial ace from thui thui thui thui thui thustial thustial thucial thucial thucial thucial thucial thucial thucial thucial thucial thucial thucial thu thu which by the way it is pronounced Palestine and not Palestine. Yeah, I assumed your confidence in pronouncing it that way meant that that must be the correct one. America loves to have like all the different Lebanon's in America that are pronounced differently or it's like, oh no, you're in Lebanon.

Fnuck. Oh, and it's just like Lebanon-Centucket. There's like, the tho. And it's just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just. And it's just just just just. And it's just just. And it's just. And it's just just. And it's just like, and it's just like, and it's just like, and it's just like, and it's just like, and it's just like, and it's just like, and it's just like, and it's just like, and it's just like, and it's just like, and it's just like, and it's just like, and it's just like, and it's just. And it's just. And it's just. And it's just. And it's just. And it's just. And it's just. And it's just. And it's just. And it's just. And it's just just. And it's just just just. And it's just just just just. And it's just, and it's just just, and it's just like, and it's just like, and it's just like, and it's just like, and it's just like, like, the. And it's just like, the. And it's just like, like, and it's just like, and its called Lebanon or something in America. Oh, at least I believe that's higher. There's a podcast episode about why that is, that's on possibly Radio Lab. Anyway, Google, what's up with the Lebanons in America and maybe you'll find out. But that first episode, that is up and that is available to listen to now. It is a sort of a one-man affair, combined with a very nice sort of ambient ambient ambient ambient ambient ambient ambient ambient ambient ambient-of-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-s-s-s-s-s-s-like-like-s-a-like-a-s, that-like-like-ato now. It is a sort of a one-man affair combined with a very nice sort of ambient soundtrack. I was really enjoying that. Yeah, that was a lovely touch. I got a lot of those from Adobe Sound Effects, or the Adobe Stock Stuff and I had

to wade through an incredible amount of like corporate techno that they play behind pharmaceutical commercials, you know, like the, Skyrizzy like that. You guys, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, th, th, th, th, th, th, so, so, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, thi, thi, so, so, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, th, thato that they play like behind pharmaceutical commercials you know like the do-n-nin-n-dinging-na-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-Di-Sky-Rizzy like that but you guys actually don't have these commercials right I'm realizing this halfway no I've never said it was pharmaceutical no we don't think our own pharmaceuticals the doctor to give you one yeah like in America where they're sort of like, hey is your life just generally shit? You should start getting this stuff. We don't we don't have those ones. You have Neurofin and Panadol for 90% of things and the other 10% your doctor is like go get some of this weird pink group and you go all right I'll take the group for two weeks. Yeah around here we have like the same four commercials for four drugs over and over,

which I've memorized their names and like their specific names. I think SkyRizzy's drug name is like, Rizanka Zuma braza. So I think about that sometimes. Sometimes I'm in, like, the shower I think about saying that in like a radio guy voice like, Razzanka Zuma Brazah. I don't know why, but this is the kind of stuff that living here will do to you. And so that's why I read about industrial disasters and stuff. I just think about the peptobismal ad all the time. Oh yeah, you like that one. Just YouTube out of peoble, guy says diarrhea. Do you guys not have commercials where they go like nausea, heart, burn, indigestion of

sys, diaria and kind of their tummies? It's a banger though. Yeah, I also don't understand because that one's not like a pharmaceutical advertising difference. That's just like, are we just, is our tummy health better generally? Yeah. May. The only ones we ever see are like the metamuse lads, where they talk around it but they're like, hey, having trouble shitin'?

This will help you shit good. Yeah. And it's like the healthiest looking 55 year old man you've ever seen going for a run. Yeah, having his old brand and going for a run because he's like shit well. Yeah. It's just like if... It's just like if... It's fiber. I think it's just a fiber supplement. So if you're having some sort of constipation problems maybe,

your poops are too heavy. That's what it's for. I've never looked into it. I don't need it. My poops are fine. Oh yeah, it's a life saver if your poops are like too If you've got like a freaking neutron star in there brewing, sometimes you gotta... I'm not speaking from experience, I just know friends that have had issue shitting or something. Okay. I'm not gonna say I've ever had this, this is a horrible way to start an episode by the way. I'm not had this as like a habitual problem where for weeks I've been languishing.

I'm gonna say twice I've gone to the Polish club and I've eaten a lot of meats and the immediate aftermath has not been great but I've never been like holy fuck I need to escape from this prison I gotta go buy some Metamusal. If you are purchasing and consuming Metamusal please page us about it. It's time for paging Dr. Lucy. If you find that you are having a little relationship trouble, just to pick up your telephone and dial it on the double. You call one, eight hundred, three, one, seven, five, one, five, now your page in Docu and say. This is of course the segment where Lucy, our expert in-house relationships with...

With no qualifications. I don't know if anyone that does this professionally has any qualifications. They probably don't know. They're just sort of people that are like, I'm an empath. This is where Lucy answers questions being asked not of us by people we don't know. This one comes to are like, I'm an empath. This is where Lucy answers questions being asked not of us by people we don't know. This one comes to us from R slash relationships over 35 relationship problems for real adults. The question they are asking is, what are some of your methods to initiate sex? Okay. What are some methods you use to not so subtly ask for sex? For example, my wife

can literally just walk out in some laundry and I know it's go-time. What do men have that similar? Like you could wear it if you want it to. Yeah, I mean do. You could put out some sexy little white underwear? It's allowed. And then send me some photos of it. I'll tell you whether it's good or not. I could rate it. Rate your fit. Like this is, I get that this is an earnest question and it can be a little bit fraught as we all know consent is sexy and all that jazz and but also it can be really awkward if you're just like you don't want to be the guy that's like sidling up to your partner and being like sex please. Yeah can't be doing that. But luckily, some people have come in with some answers to this one.

I'm going to keep these ones anonymous because I'm nice. I was first one here. When I'm sharing space with my partner, I will try to keep the flirty sexy dial set to about a two or three at all times. Just like a low hum. So, I mean, I, we th we th we th we th we th we th we are I, we are I, we're, we're th, we're th, we're th, we're th, we're th, we're th, we're th, we're th, th, th, th, th, thus, tho, thus, thi, thatu. tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thoom, thoom. thoom. tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th th th th th th th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, that that that that that thi thi thi thi thi thi thi about a two or three at all times. Just like a low hum. Yeah, so I mean we're assuming that the sexy dial goes to ten. I would assume so. Yeah, probably. It's a ten point scale. Small touches, a random kiss on the back of the neck or a booty squeeze. Compliments, whispering sweet things in their ear. Play music. Dance and wiggle from time to time. Just be cute cute the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th sexy sexy sexy sexy sexy sexy sexy sexy sexy sexy sexy sexy sexy sexy sexy sexy sexy sexy sexy sexy sexy sexy sexy sexy sexy sexy to time to time. Just be cute and sexy and playful and affectionate. It's way easier to turn the dial from three to nine that it is to convince my partner we

should be listening to music right now while they're watching zombie TV. Huh? I mean this is slightly hard to figure out what the fuck they mean by this, but I'm going to assume they're saying that if they're in an ambient level of near-hordiness, it's easy to be like, you can always turn it up. You just be like a little push further and we're like, oh, we fucking now. I'm sorry, that's insane. This is an insane concept that you've just brought up. I'm confused by the dial. I'm saying we think that goes to 10 is when sex starts I guess.

Yeah, it's sort of like their 10. It's your special bar in Final Fantasy. My life's right. Your wife and up manner. Yeah, exactly. There is a way that they could have explained this that I think would have been kind of nice where they're like, oh, I just always, we're always a little bit a the the the the the the the the the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th sex th sex th sex th sex th sex th sex th sex th sex th sex th sex th sex th sex th sex th sex th sex th sex th sex th sex th sex th sex th sex th sex th sex th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. have explained this that I think would have been kind of nice, where they're like, oh, I just always, we are always a little bit physically intimate, you know, and I always make us feel sexy or whatever instead of being like, well, just in case I want to fuck, I make sure my wife is a near state of readiness at all times. It's just, I don't know, something about this seems vaguely like they're gaming the system a little bit. Yeah, just the way they phrased it is pretty weird.

I make sure it were at Defcon too, because it's way easier to go from 2 to 5 than it is to go from 1 to 5. And if I've gotten the Defcon order in reverse. I think it's the other way. Fuck. Isn't it? I always fuck it up, though. And then I'm the wrong one. So maybe I thought one was the bad one. But if the one is the nuclear option, is that the sex one? When things explode? I think Defcon one is sex. Defcon two is like mouth stuff.

OK. Defone thr-Inton. Def-Basph 4 kissing, Defcon 5, getting flirty on MSN. Got it. That's my understanding. Okay, that actually makes perfect sense. Yeah. Got another one here. I ask my significant other to tickle my back and then pooch my butt back into him.

He knows. Yank. Don't say pooch. I think we've also covered that women don't have a problem. Yeah. Yes. That's the unspoken sort of underlying theme of this guy's question is that it's quite easy. Yeah. Yeah. But also I think there is just a she's deliberately being sexy to initiate sex, whereas these people are offering ways for you to try and coach sex out of them. try. the thru the thinn't. the the the the their. the the the their. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their the the their their their their their their their their their. their. their their. their. their. their their their their their their. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the the the the the the the the the the the the th. thoooooooooooo. th. th. the the the the. the the the. the the the the the the. the the the the the. to try and coach sex out of them? Maybe men should try being a little sludier. Try being sludier with them. Why don't you try that? Just fucking do the like, get your leg out from behind the door frame,

tantalizingly, you know? Stretch that bad boy out and she's like, oh my goodness. Look at that gam, my husband's body with a three-quarters erect penis? Mmm, what could be under there? Birds will do an elaborate dance sometimes too, and like we don't, it's like the bar's falling so low. You can't even expect men to do a simple, like a flirtation dance in the forest floor after arranging like a ring of sticks or whatever.

Burs cool. We're wearing a bright-colored shirt. Walk into the room, say, hey, Alexa, the, the, the, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the th, Alexa, play the safety dance. Pop your shirt off. Start waving around some brightly coloured objects that you've collected. See what happens. It's way easier than you think. I've got another one here. For one couple I know, brackets, late 40s, it's tickle torture. Your mileage may vary.

Blah. All sorts of play can be sexual. That's fucking horrible. I'm deciding that relationships over 35, somehow worse. Somehow worse subreddite. I think that this one is genuinely worse, maybe in like an existential way. Like all of the young people problems in the other relationships one. You look at those and you go, oh yeah, that's the sort of shit that happens to you in your

early 20s. It's always miscommunications, being bad at setting boundaries. You learn how to communicate, you learn how to like get along better with your partners. And then all of these are people in their 40s that are like just having the saddest problems? Oh God, is that? I'm so sorry. Am I gonna be... Is that your life? So that's like for all of us? And they always start by being like, we were so happy when we first got together. It's very grim.

Terrifying. Terrifying. Is anyone enjoyed being tickled ever? Like, that's, being tickled. tickle people. Just generally. Vital tender areas too. Don't touch this, please. If you're not alerting me to the presence of a spider or a creepy crawly or whatever, don't activate my tickle reflex.

You're going to get hit. You're going to get hit, accidentally. You come for this armpit? I'm driving an elbow into your trachea. You're gone pal. I got another one here. We invite each other to a formal sheet inspection. What do you mean? Hey um should we go inspect the sheets? Oh yeah can you come help me in the bedroom just taking a look at those thousand TCs? Hey a soldier let's see how good you made your bed this morning at Army boot cam. Wink!

Oh, come on. I got three here. I've got one and two replies to it. We have a beautiful lamp that we light like the sexy bat signal. No. No. We call it the sex light. It is a great way to be low pressure about it.

Now again, like to reiterate what I said up top, consent is sexy, clear communication, the best thing for a healthy sexual relationship. I am just, they're such a recipe for disappointment for you to like walk into the room, sort of do a little sluddy walk, you sort of hips moving from side to side, languidly, running your hand up the base of the lamp, gripping it firmly, pushing that button and going, oh, when you turn it on, and then your partner looks at the lamp, it just sort of looks away. Switches it off? Yeah, it just comes over, slaps your head.

Just get one of those little octopus toys with the smiley face and the, that turn inside out and the sad face. Dear little sexy octopus. One of those like Ikea children's nightlights is just like a mushroom that if you touch it it turns on. He's going over there, tap the mushroom, part that comes over, taps the mushroom again. Not today, pal. I've got to see the lamp though. thi. thah. thah. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho's tho, does tho's tho's tho's like tho, tho's like, the the lamp. the the tho's like, the tho's like, tho's, tho's, tho's, the the tho. tho. th. tho. th. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho's like, tho's like, tho's like, thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo's. It's, tho, it's just that it's beautiful, which is a crazy detail to add into this. Beautiful, by what standards? Just a nice lamp? Yeah. I have a really beautiful lamp. It's actually 150 years old. It's incredible. Anyway, it's the fuck lamp for when we really want to fuck or at least one of us does. Our reply here, ha ha ha, my partner and I also have a sex light similar to a bad signal.

This is clearly a thing. And then one more here. We have a candle, we have a candle, we have a candle, we're doing the same thing with. Candle, the candle opera is like a candle, I'm going to do this. the candle. the candle, I'm like, to signa, to the, the candle opera is like a more romantic or whatever and mysterious. It's like a ritual thing where like to signify that you're really serious, you have to light all 27 candles on the candle lab.

Getting up to 25 and just being like, ah, I'm actually kind of sleepy. No, blowing them all out. A single candle would seem kind of sad I think, especially if it starts to melt and get kind of dropy. Yeah, and don't know. It's cool. Lighting a candle for a person has like negative connotations for me as well? That's like a, you know, like you're thinking about them or you're trying to cast a spell on them. Or you're putting it in your window to signal to doesn't sound romantic to me, this just sounds like, you may as well just have a big LED sign on the wall with a little on-off switch. Yeah, I am horny. Your partner looks at it goes, okay. Great. I don't know. It's got to be a better way. If you have one of these rituals, please tell us about it. And we won't judge you for it. You know, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, I, you, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, thi, th. th. th, th, th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th, th. th. th. th. thi, th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, to thi, thi, to to thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, these rituals, please tell us about it. And we won't judge you for it.

You know, navigating intimate sexual relationships can be very emotionally fraught, completely understand, but if you've got some weird shit that we can laugh at, please tell us. A lot of the replies for people just being like, oh I just sort of like... I sort of talk to my partner? I'd sort of tell my partner, hey, how are you feeling right now? Are you feeling sexy with it? And then we have sex. Yeah. And then there were some way people trying to brag. I'd like be a little like letter to penthouse about it. Guys like I simply bend my wife over on the kitchen camera and pull a thong over and you're like... She's like... you don't. She's like in the middle of cooking dinner and you're just like walking up to her and be like to be like to be like the the the to be a the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their to be a little, I to be a little, I'd to be a little, I'd their their to be a little, I'd like, I'd like, I'd like, I'd like, I'd like, I'd like, I'd like, I'd like, I'd like, I'd like, I'd like, I'd like, I to be a little to be a little their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. I'd like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm theat, like, like, th. I'm theat, like, like, like, like, like, like, thi. I'd like, thi. I'd like, be like, be like, Tiffany, turn around. You're on Reddit. You've got to find a middle ground between these things. Be a little bit sexy with it, but also just be normal about

it. Just be normal. A little bit sexy, but be normal. What about like a big chine or like a gong? Like a big gong in your kitchen. The sex gong. You hear it from across the room and you go, oh boy. Just walking over the other side room, grabbing the giant mallet and being like, here we fucking go, whining it all the way back. I think that's less pathetic than like, a lot of our lamps here, you have to like rotate the thingy and then it clicks and maybe clicks once and it doesn't turn on,

you kind of have to keep decisive action like banging a gong, I think. There's something more, um, it's less pleading to bang the gong. Yeah, you're making a statement. I am horny. And my neighbors know it now because we have a eight-foot gong that we've been hiding from the landlord with throw blankets every time they do an inspection. Neighbors hear the gong and it's fucking, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, they go, oh, they go, oh, they go, oh, they go, oh, they go, they go, oh, they go, they go, they go, oh, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they're they're they're they're they're they they the the their, their, their, their, their, their, the the the the the the the gong, the gong, the gong, the the gong, the the the the the the the the the the, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they're they're they're they're th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thean, thean, thean, thean, thean, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th landlord with throw blankets every time they do an inspection. Neighbours hear the gong and the sound. Oh, for fuck, so. Here they go.

Here we go. Now that seven minutes of the weirdest sounding sex I've ever heard of my life. Being horny and being a little bit uncomfortable about it, it's pretty natural. It's time of of course, for Nature Corner. Robocrabs sniffed my dear. Speaking of things, not lasting as long as you think they would. This comes to us from the Detroit Free Press. Michigan's Black Lake Sturgeon fishing season lasts 65 minutes. Efficient.

Yeah, I mean honestly that's pretty good. Sometimes it's not about, you know, going for like a marathon session. It's just when everyone feels, you know, that they've had a nice time and then you can just sort of stop. 65 minutes is perfect. Michigan's shortest fishing season lasted 65 minutes on Saturday. The 2023 Lake Sturgeon fishing season on Black Lake in Chiboygan and Presque Isle? Chiboygan, let's go, sorry. I only know Chobogan, if this is the Chiboygan that I'm thinking of, that was the Chiboygan Radio Scanner Twitter account where it was a police news from, yeah.

It began at 8 a.m. and ended at 9.05 a.m. The harvest limit for the season was six lake sturgeon. Yeah. That is not a lot of fish. It's not a lot of sturgeon. No. Are you guys familiar with sturgeon? Sorry, I didn't mean to digress but I got excited because I know I believe you. Did you share a video the other day of a fucking oh my god? I never knew how big they were I had like actually no legitimately I didn't know't know how big they were until I played Red Dead Redemption too. Mm-hmm. Big boys. What the fuck? That game's under selling it too I think. I think you only catch lake sturgeon in that game. Or maybe I could be wrong with that but. They are monstrous. Very big. There was a, an angry beavers episode that had a very large fish in it that I believe was a sturgeon and I was like damn why they make the fish that big. Yes.

Turns out based on real life. Do you know how long they live? No. Do you want to guess first? Or would you want to just tell you? I'm guessing based on how you ask the question fish. It's two weeks, just kidding, way long and that's like a hundred, 130 something plus I think. I'm not sure what the maximum is, but it can be well over a hundred.

That's why cold. Yeah, they're gorgeous animals. Also they're not gonna, they're very docile, actually quite cute. So you're not going to get like eaten by sturgeon. facing mouths and they kind of just go, you know, pick up things along on the river floor for the most part. They are huge though, like well over a meter or two meters. I don't like it. I was reading a thing the other day that the largest sturgeon ever caught was, and I didn't double check this number because it surely seems like it can't be real. Supposedly, the largest sturgent on record was a beluga female captured in

the Volga Delta in 1827 measuring 7.2 meters. Jesus Christ! Which I believe is roughly the same size as the largestwater crocodile? A largest freshwater is six meters. But yeah, just a fucking- A fish shouldn't be that big. I think it's unnatural. It's unfortunate. And they have, they've got a long sort of pointy noses too, haven't they?

Which I think might account for some of the fungene, which is got to be embarrassing for they. That's a different species. I think Beluga are the ones that get the biggest, I might be wrong about that. I'm more familiar with green sturgeon which live out, we have a population in California, it's the one I work with in my job, but and there's white sturgeon, there's all sorts of sturgeon, but I think beliougues are the biggest, but the green sturgeon we have can be like two meters at least.. and well, and well, and well, and well, we the th. And, we th. We have th. We have th. We have th. We have th. We have th. We have th. We have th. We have thi, we have thi, we have thi, we have th. We have out, we have out, we have out, we have out out, we have out, we have out, we have out, we have, we have, we have out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out, we have th. We have th, we have the the the th, we have out out out, we have out, we have out, we have out out, we have out out, we have out, we have out, we have out, we have the the the the the the the the the the the the they they they th. We have they they they the, we have they they they the the, we have the theeeeeeee, we have theeean, we have theean, we have the, think they're a malicious presence that feature that are that large. Lucy look up if you when you get the chance look up sturgeon face and I think you'll see okay. You know I change my tune for your affection. You know when you see someone who's been eating so much sturgeon face and I think

you know they've been eating so because sturgeon's where we get caviar from, right? Indeed. Yes. I was picturing a fancier fish and I don't know why. Like I don't know why I'm making value judgments about the fancien of sturgeon. But I don't know, maybe it's because the whiskers and they're sort of bottom feeding fish have negative connotations as, you know, garbage fish, but some of the fanciest fish in like best seafood comes from like the most hideous fish of all time. For example, I think the best seafood I've ever eaten was halibut

their like, delicious. But if you look up a halibut there, like, a crime against God. I mean, they're gorgeous. They have like flat. Oh, what am I their. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. the. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. Some. th. Some. th. th. Some. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. Some. the. Some. Some. Some. Some. I mean, they're gorgeous. They have like flat. Oh, fuck, what am I thinking of? What are the, they have the two eyes on one side, like a flounder. You're probably like, like a flounder. That's what I see. Yeah, it's a similar, same family. Their eye kind of migrates up to the top of their dome so up instead of, they were like, we don't actually need the three dimensions below us, we can just kind of be on the floor. And that's kind of like being flat.

It's like other fish have done that as well, but they just moved their eyes close together on the top of their head instead of like flat head and stuff, instead of being asymmetrical. They're just, weird, it's a weird choice. This is a weird, this is a weird choice. This is a different. This is a different. This is. This is a di. This is. This is a di. This is. This is a di. This is a di. This is a di. This is a di. This is a di. This is a di. This is a di. This is a different. This is a different. This is a different, this is a different, this is a different, this is a different, this is, th. It's, th. It's, it, it, it, it. It's, it. It is, it. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It's, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's a th. It's a weird choice. This is another diversion, but since we're on fish, I was at a restaurant the other night where The one of the things I had on the menu was Patagonian toothfish, which very common in seafood, but that was the fish that was rebranded as Chilean sea bass. Oh, by the seafood industry because everyone was like well, there's no way theythoothfish. I want to eat a toothfish. Pate fish. Pate fish. I their their their their their th. I th. I th. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I'm. I want. I want. I want. I want. I want. I want. I'm their their their th. I was th. I was their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I'm. I'm. I'm th. I'm th. I'm theateateateat. I was. I was. I'm. I'm. I want. I want. I want. I want. I want. I want. I want the the the the th. I'm the th.fish. Patagonian toothfish. They have those fish very, very ugly, but I mean, I think they're gorgeous, but toothfish are notoriously hideous as well, I think. Chile and Seabas does sound more pleasant.

Yeah, sounds like, you can catch an animal crossing. It's a good ray brand. It's also featured in the movie Jurassic Park. It is what the raptor enclosure seat. I believe, do you want to guess how old those can get? I believe I could, I might have to look that up myself, but 70 years. I think it might be like, I know it's well over 20, but I forget. So I shouldn't have even asked, but it's like decades. It's a lifetime of sucking on the sea bottom. We could have a lifetime of sucking on the sea bottom.

Do you have antifreezed proteins in your blood, Ben? I have not had any blood work done recently and I could have been thear. Well, the Antarctic toothfish, a close cousin, has antifreeze proteins in its blood and lives in sub-free teatrace. That's cool, the to' tree. The's cool thia C C C' thia cool cool cool. thiahiahiahineaaa thines. thines. thines. thines. thines. thoomffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffeasease protein protein to have to have to have to have to have to freeze to freeze freeze protein protein protein protein protein tooze fre protein protein protein protein protein protein protein protein protein protein protein protein protein protein protein protein protein protein tooaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseasease. thananananananananananananananananan, isn't th. th. th. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. tooos. tooos. tooze. tooze. tooze. toozeeaseasease toozeease tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, the Patagonian toothfish lives in water as cold as one to four degrees. Yeah, I don't think they have this special one. There's much that- I think so much about fish today. Do you guys want to take a guess at how old the world's oldest llama is? No. No.

Okay. That was lovely talking. I'll to you guys. I don't think I will. The world's oldest llama. All right, I'm going to try and, it's a mammal. Yes. It's a mammal. So it is out of your field of expertise. What's safety? So I'm immediately I'm panicking.

I have no. I'm sweating bullets. to live in. I'm going to guess 18 years old. So this is announced by the Unisbook Records this week, Dallai Lama, sorry Dallai Lama, which is a beautiful brown-eyed Lama from New Mexico, USA, as the world's oldest Lama at 27 years old. Oh my. That's fucked up. Yeah, and speaking of world's oldest dogs, we also just had, it just changed to their their their their their their their their. It's their. It's their. It's their. It's their. It's their. It's their. It's their. It's their. It's their. I. I. I. I. I. their. their. I's their. their. toe. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I. I's. I. I. I's. I's. I. I. I's. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. That's fucked up. Yeah. And speaking of world's oldest dogs, we also just had, it just changed hands. The, uh, pause. The, the world's oldest dog is a Portuguese dog named Bobey, who is 30 years and 266 days old.

My God. I am- I bet he stinks. He looks stinky, I think. We're all like 32, right. Are we roughly the same age? Yeah. I that I that I that I that that that that that that that that that that th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, tho, thi, thi, thi, tho, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, thi thi thi, the the the the the the the thi, the thi, the world, the world, the world, the world, the world, the world, the world, the world, the world, the world the world the Yeah. What am I? I think I just turned 29 this year. This dog is older than you. That dog's older than you. That dog is older than me. That dog's older than me. That dog saw 9-11.

He was old enough to remember it too. What's the idiot mann't happened? Very strange. Did you get an answer on how long a Patagonian toothfish lasts for? No, I'm trying to type with one hand so that I don't make too much noise, but I'm actually like making it harder on myself. And so I excellently started searching Portagonian something I had to kind of delete. And now I'm on accidentally hit Patagonia the brand, it's not going well at all. Portuguese tooth dog.

So these sturgeon, right? They're probably being caught for farming for caviar. Is that why you would have a sturgeon? These are like recreational fishermen, I assume so. Yeah, a lot of times there's tribal fisheries that get some amount of the take, as it's called in fisheries. I'm guessing these like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like the lake like the lake like their like their like their like their like their like their their their their their the take as it's called in fisheries. I'm guessing these like sturgeon are like maybe not doing so well that local population so they set a pretty low threshold that people can take and I guess they I guess they all got out there the first day and just that 65 is a really low. I mean depend on how big the water body is but that's that's not a lot of fish. I mean sturgeon are quite big but 65. It was six over large areas. It was six fish. So 65 minutes? Six fish? Yeah. Why did I say 65? That's 10 times great. I like that little rule that the season ends either when the six fish is harvested or five fish have been harvested at the end of the day. Yeah, isn't that? Is that just so that they don't have to open a whole second day for one fish? I guess.

That would be my guess. That's a strange rule. That'd make a lot of sense. I got an answer on the two fish thing, everyone. Yeah. Do you want to do? I don't know that we actually guess. I guess 65 years.

I think I guess. 90. That's ages for fish. That's so long. God damn. Up to 50 years. I assume. I gotta read that book you keep recommending. He doesn't know about 9-11. Oh, you should. Oh, my god. That book makes me cry like a child? Yeah, what a fish knows?

I think this subtitle is the underthink about all the fish emotions that are out there right now? Yes. Yes. Yes. So when I was in grad school, we did a, I got the chance to go in a submarine to the bottom of the ocean. We saw this fish called the abyssal grenadier, which is sometimes they will come up to a submarine that has lights on because they're not used to that or the vibration they feel.

And they will just accidentally get themselves sucked right in the propeller blades and just get ripped to shreds. I know that may be very, very, very sad. But it's like in the, it's a bummer because you can't take specimens of things in the deep sea and have them survive. Because they just turn to goop. They usually turn to goop. Yeah, there's some crustaceans you can get living up at the top and I think some is some isopods.

As far as fish goes, there's no way that fish is going to be melted. We can't create some crazy little like a pressure container. container you simulate the deep sea environment you know what's funny about that my my grad school advisor in his I think it was in his like when he was trying to go through grad school he was like trying to release his early career he tried to make it one of the chambers to like send to the bottom the ocean and then at fish would get curious and get the the bait inside of it would seal off the the theyn. If I I I I I I I I I I the the the the the the way up and so you'd have a fish under still its ambient pressure at the surface that you can like look through a little plexiglass like hole that, but not do much other than that I think.

I think he couldn't get it to work, but if you still work on it. But that makes a ton of sense though because like you wouldn't have to have to have to have to have to have to put to put to put to put to put, to put, to put, to to to the to to the to to to the to to to the to to be, to to to to to to, to, the to, the the sense, they. the to, the their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, they. they. they. they. they. I, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, they. to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, thi. thi. thi. they. they. they. the pressure on the water itself you would just have to have an extremely pressure resistant container that could maintain but that's a shit ton of force isn't it? Yes it was like a thick steel I think on the outside yeah it's cool I'm looking at a picture of an abyssal grenadier that motherfuck it looks like a Pokemon it's got like a YouTube face they're very strange fish I got a tattoo of that one, in part, because I think it looks really cool. I'm not gonna lie about that. But also, I felt like I owed them some kind of spiritual penance for a dumb ass guy, goes, oh, I'm on the bottom of the ocean,

and then it comes over and just gets shredded. You could show one. You could go to the bottom of the ocean again and be and be like and be like and be like and be like and be like and be like, And it's sucked into the props because it also gets immediately shredded. Yeah. Wait, did one get sucked at the propeller while you were on that sub-read or Yes. Yes. Oh, Christ. That is a bummer. There's unfortunately, I don't know. Like those, those subs actually, they're very deliberate movements and stuff like with the robot arms. There's extremely experienced pilot in there, but like everything is very slow and deliberate. And so it's hard to like, like, throwne. the the the the the the the the they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. It's they. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's the. It's the. It's just. It's just. It's just just. It's just. It's just. It's just just. It's just. It's just just. It's just. It's just. It's just. It's just. It's just. It's just. It's just. It deliberate. And so it's hard to like prevent that from happening, if he wants to go in there, he'll go in there. There's not like a all-stop button, you can just slam to stop the propellers from going? I don't think so. I didn't, I should have asked.

I should have taken the port window and then I'd be like, oh no, and then before I even knew it, it would, all the water pressure would come inside and crush me instantly. But that had never happened before to anyone, so at least in the, as far as I'm aware, so. I wonder when the most like recent submarine death was. It doesn't come up in the news. So there's not a lot of submarines, like generally speaking, not a lot of submarine stuff is happening on a daily basis.

A lot of the science missions are moving to like robots, R-O-Vs and stuff, like drones. Right. But it's hard to get like the signals back and forth. They don't need to piss down there. No. No. Oh, by the way, the protocol for pissing if you have to in there because it's like an eight-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-o-a-o-o-o-o-o-in, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to-s, to-s, to-s, to-s, to-s, to-s, to-s, to-s, to-s, to-s, to-s, to-s, to-s, to-s, to-s, to, to, th. th. th. th. th. th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, thi-a-s, th-s, th-a-s-s-s-a-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-a-s, thi-s, thi-s, thi-s, thi-s, thi-s, thi-s, thi-s, thi-s, the protocol for pissing, if you have to in there, because it's like an eight-hour trip, two hours down, as much hours as you can spend before the battery starts going down, and then you've got to float up for another hour and a half or so. I believe it's like a funnel and a big bag, and there's like a little curtain you can kind of piss into. I drank a bunch of coffee. in anticipation of this because I didn't want to pee in front of like another, like probably senior scientists and the pilot. I didn't want to do that.

So instead I got a really bad headache and then almost puked from sea sickness after that. Oh, well that sounds way better. But I didn't pee. I was looking at the website of Triton Submarine, sorry, to look at their range of submarines. And one of the ones I have, because I was just thinking the other day that you don't see a lot of like recreational submarine stuff. You sometimes see those little miniature scuba ones, but you don't often see like proper submarines that's just like, hey, you're at this reef, why don't you and a group of friends get on a submarine? One of the ones they sell is the 43 ton Triton Deep View, which is rated for going down to, only 100 meters down, so I know no interest to a deep ocean boy like you, but for like reefs or whatever.

Casuals. It can fit up to 96 people. Whoa, okay, that's fucking huge. Yeah. That's crazy. I didn't know that. Yeah, I've never seen, I've never seen one this large before that's like commercially available. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It's, it. It's, it. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's,. It's, it's, it's, th. It's, th. It's, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the the. the. the. the. the. th. th I didn't know that. Yeah, I've never seen one this large before that's like commercially available. It's kind of crazy that we didn't end up with like tourist submarines being more of a thing. Yeah, have a party boat situation down there. Holy fuck, can you imagine? Wow. Wow. High school has a prom at the coral reef or whatever. Yeah, like someone's dad works for the submarine company. They get good rates on it. Yeah, around here we just like, sometimes they have it at like a big hotel convention center

or the aquarium or something, but it would be pretty cool to. I didn't go to prom, okay? I don't know. Yeah, we had ours at a whole half hour drive away from town because our town to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to that. A half hour drive away from town because our town didn't have a big enough one for us. Yeah, thanks to the beautiful people of Maryborough for having us at the Broga Theatre. I really appreciate that. The first fish was caught by Charles Jett. Chuck Jett.

Great nice. Chuk Jett. According to the Cheboygan Daily Tribune, the fish was a 49 inch male that weighed 30 pounds. I should be so lucky. Oh, okay. 30 pounds. Last year, the season ended after 36 minutes. The latest fish caught in 2022 was a 62 inch male that weighed 67 pounds. I should be so lucky. Hmm.

So they've done a shitter job this year to catch worse fish. That's what I'm hearing. No way I hear this. That's a hundred or seven-year long. Huge downturn in the Black Lake Sturgeon season this year. You blew it. You blew it. Hey, that's not a lot of fish.

But I bet it was still pretty stinky out there. It's time for smells that make you go... Hmm. It's stinky. The truth is, I feel so angry. And the truth is, I feel so fucking sad. And the truth is, it looks like sex in here. It's lovely to see a glimpse into Theo's mind. Just completely unfiltered sometimes. Really nice.

Can I just say, I think that was one of my favorite songs you guys have done. I really enjoyed that. It's nice. Except for that was a Theo joint. Yeah, that was his. That was the Theo original. That's crazy. This one comes to us from CBS, New York. Hudson Valley residents question source of quote, strong, fragrant, persistent smell

in area. A mysterious smell is turning heads in the Hudson Valley area. According to the New York State Department of Environmental Conservation, the smell is strongest in Orange County. Residents describing the smell, sorry, residents describe the smell as strong, fragrant and persistent. State officials say after taking air readings, nothing harmful has been detected and they will update the community as the investigation continues. Now I was quite curious about the language they used here, because fragrant to me has a somewhat positive connotation.

Like you would describe a nice smell as fragrant. You wouldn't describe a stinky smell as fragrance. You wouldn't, I suppose garlic could be fragrant. And that's about as stinkies you could get. Yeah, fragrant, I think. It's pleasant, right. So I tried to find anyone tweaing about the smell and I found a couple of people in the Hudson Valley area describing a cell as like cologne,

men's perfume and laundry detergent. And then I found a bunch of people saying that in addition to this they have also been finding a fine layer of dust and dirt on all of their things. Yeah there's a bunch of people that are just like... That's not a good sign. They reckon it's... people that are just like... That's not a good sign. They reckon it's... well, this is not anyone. No one in any official capacity is putting this theory forward, but a lot of people are suggesting that maybe this might be stuff blowing over from Ohio.

Oh, great. Yeah. I've heard that smells extremely bad, so... But I haven't heard anything about it smelling like detergent, like fragrant. It's like, it smells like mace or something. I saw someone suggesting that the sweet smell might be, I really should have written this down but it was vinyl something? Oh. That's, it's not vinyl chloride, is it?

Let me double check. That stuff is, maybe that stuff is pretty sweet smelling, but that's the stuff that actually leaked out of the Ohio train................ It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I'm, th. I'm, th. I, the, th. I'm, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, I, I. It. It. It. It. It's, I. It's, I. I. I. I. I. I. I's. th. the. the. th. they. they. they. they. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. train and they burned it to so as to get rid of the vinyl chloride and turn it into among other things, phosphine which is a chemical weapon used in World War I but that's beside the point of course. Okay and and hydrochloric acid which is oh that's hydrochloric acid so so that burns but the vinyl chloride I think is pretty volatile. It was vinyl chloride that someone was suggesting. But like two results I got are someone saying, oh that's very bad. A trip to Hudson Valley vinyl with a photo of a record store and then another person saying people are reporting a, smelling a

sweet smell in Pennsylvania, New Jersey and the Hudson Valley New York State the sweet smell. Yeah. That seems pretty cooked. The officials the officials Valley, New York State. I guess that is fragrant then. The sweet smell. Yeah. That seems pretty cooked. The officials in Ohio, I believe, the EPA put out a statement of like, you may be smelling something known as but it's butal something. I'm sorry, I don't remember this. But they were making the point that it's like, yeah, you might smell this, that this thing you're smelling is not one of the cancerous, like really fucked up chemicals we had on there. It's actually just like a side effect, and

also it's the limit of smelling is lower than the safety threshold, so don't worry about it, which may or may not, I mean that might be totally true, but I think the EPA's instant, they're getting a lot of the, rightfeelif-a, their their their their their their their their their their their their their th of th of th and thr-s thrifices, thrifices, thrifices, thrifices, thrifices, thrifices, thr-a, thrifices, thrific limit-s, threate, thr-s, thr-s, thr-s, their limit-s, the limit limit limit limit their limit their limit their limit their limit their limit their limit their limit thr-a, thr-s, thr-s, thr-s and thr-s and thr-s, thrific, thrificeaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseasease, thrifices, thrifices, throwneaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseaseasease, threaten, thr-a-s, threaten, threaten, threaten, threaten, threaten, th people are rightfully very suspicious. Yeah, it seems like a lot of the government's messaging on this has not been aligning with people's personal experiences of what it's doing to their pants. If I saw a layer of dust and dirt and something was very stinky. Yeah, that's you, it doesn't sound particularly like a natural phenomenon that I'm used to. It's not like, oh, there's the seasonal detergent rain. We love that. That happens every year and it's natural. It's like, that sounds like a biblical thing. I found another one, another article here from Cornwall in New York, although maybe they pronounce it cornwall, how to say. What did you say it? the same, hard to say it, that's that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that's that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the the the the the the the the the the they. they. the they. Cornwall? Yeah, I think the best place was...

I feel like you said it the same twice. No, it's very... There's some subtleties in the beautiful Australian accent. Cornwall. Yeah, in Cornwall they're saying that it's a perfume-like smell, but it's not making anyone sick, but they're sort of indicating that it might be thi. Pretty fucked up. Yes. Not great. One of the things people were particularly steamed about, I think I saw it, I only learned this today, but, um, so the governor and all the officials put out a

press release saying, like, don't worry, the water is safe to drink, none of the vinyl chloride got into the groundwater. Not an issue. It's all good. But, then. Then. Then. Then. Then. Then. the reporters. the reporters. the reporters. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I. I. I. I thi. I thi. I's thi. I'm thi. I'm th. I'm th. I thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I th. I th. I th. I I I I I I th. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I. I I I I I I I I I. I I. I I I I. I I. I. I I. I I. I. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi. I thi. I thi. I'm thi. I'm not thi. I th. I'm not th. I th. I th. I th. I think. I think. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi. I th out later that they were basing that off of some samples taken by Norfolk Southern, which is the train company. And so and and then someone else, other independent researchers were saying that like the samples they had taken were like very poorly done. Like for example, one of them had an air bubble in it. That this type of sample is not supposed to have air in it because you can oxidize stuff. It's going to give to give to give to give to give to give to give to give to give to give to give to be a a to be the the the to be to be. the the, the the, to be, the the, the the, the the, to be, to be, to be, the the, to be, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, the same, the same, the same, the same, the same, the same, the same, they. they. And, they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. And, they. And, they. And, they. And, and then, the give you different results potentially. Like chemical tests can be very finicky. Another one was not like pH adjusted to where it should be to keep the results intact for the few days it needs to, for them to process it.

So people were like, what the fuck? You, you know, had the company do the tests and they did it shitily. And then you announced the water is fine before the results, like, the, the, the, the, tests also I think, I mean those those have showed us be safe, but the kind of the issue is like, do what if it wasn't safe? Like you kind of just let the company do it first and they did it shittily and then the thing that really got me mad is some spokesman for the contractor the company used to take these samples, like, the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their, to to to to take these samples said like, they acknowledged that the pH was wrong, one of the samples, and this is an issue for long-term storage, but she said, I think it was a sheet, forgive me if I'm wrong, something like, you know,

we should have pH adjusted it to be correct, but it wasn't an issue because of the next day processing we did. And then in the, in this Huff post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post post to to to to to the the to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the in the in this Huff Post story in parentheses it says the test was actually processed three days later and then so it's like just really nasty and like anytime I've taken scientific samples it's like flesh of a fish like it's it's not something that means anything directly to like the lives of people right but even then it's like if I fuck this up that's a huge deal like I have to be very careful here because like this is like you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you this is like this is like this is like th. th. th. th. this is like I th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. It's like, I th. It's like, I th. It's like, I'm not th. It's like, I'm not like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. the lives of people, right? But even then it's like, if I fuck this up, that's a huge deal. Like, I have to be very careful here, because like, this is like, you're,

I don't know, if you gave a shit about the samples, you would make sure to not do that. So it makes me mad as a. It definitely seems to indicate that sure things are fine. Yeah, it's real nasty. Very nasty indeed. Wouldn't it wouldn't have been how I would, if I had been there, it wouldn't have gone down like that. Yeah, is that Mark Wallberg? Man. I think I think I reference him in the pot too? Jesus Christ. Yeah, you do it. What's wrong with me? Believe you'll also upset yourself by reminding you because of the movie Deepwater horizon I'm then, then, then, I I I I I I, then, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, the, the, thi, thi, thi, that, that, tho, is tho, is tho, is that, is that, is that, is that, is that, is that, is, is, is, is, is that, is, is, is, is that, is th, is th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the, theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, wouldn't thi, if th he exists because of the movie Deepwater Horizon I believe. Should I see that?

Maybe I should do a watchcast of that. Yeah, I'm sure that'll be fun for you. I need to get him out of my head though. We need to do the eternal sunshine thing but for just making you forget about Markle. Can finally be free. Imagine if he just didn't know about his existence, like, what a more pleasant life. I'm imagining it right now. It's really good. That sounds beautiful.

What if you only knew about Donnie? Yeah. A better vibe. Can we still keep Walburke's? That new Walburke flick? Donnie's in another movie? I didn't see that. Oh, Donnie?

Love, Don, don. Donnie. Don in the in the the silly gang. I'm trying to do like a funky bunch You know that was perfect. You know now that first first try. I kind of I kind of was worried you guys can get it okay I'm familiar with his over I haven't had the surgery yet. Here's another smell that's maybe slightly easier to identify the story comes to us from W BRC chicken sludge to blame for recent Morris Stedge? No. No, thank you. Yeah, any time there's a question in a headline, the answer's no. Except maybe this time.

Also, I just don't want to hear about meat sludge. Chicken sludge. That's such a descriptive. Chicken sludge. Also, interestingly enough, so this headline isn't written in title case, it's like just regular, regular sentence case, but both the C and the S and Chicken Sludge is capitalized. I guess it's a brand name. It's one of the biggest chicken chains in Texas, Chicken Sludge.

If you live in Morris, you have likely already smelled a stench. I think that's true if you've been alive for a while. Yeah, you've probably smelled a stench at some point. One city councilman, space theirs, says chicken sludge was used months ago by a landowner in an effort to fertilize the property. For now, the smell is subsided, and residents pray the smell does not return. However, many were not even aware what caused the stench. Several say it was so powerful on their property, they thought it had to be coming from their homes.

My God. It was bad. I thought it was a septic tank. My wife thought it could be ours, said Morris, resident Charles Barr. Bar and his wife were far from the only one seeking answers. The smell was so strong that some thought it might be tied to the Moody Hill landfill fire over 25 miles away. This is great just one guy putting something on his one house. Yeah, ruining the whole town. It goes into the town's one bar. Everyone just stops talking and stares at him. Is this about the chicken sludge?

Typically chicken sludge refers to like the ground up like flash of the chicken, it's not like a bunch of chicken poop. Yeah, this is meat, right? It's chicken flesh. Yeah, like meat sledge, like what you make a nugget out of or whatever. Is this just, do they render it? Is they put it all in a vat and that, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, normalize it, homogenize it? I think so. I don't know if that's a good fertilizer. You could have just bought a bag of fertilizer from the store. Does it have any chicken sludge in?

Uh-huh. Uh-huh. It says 98% chicken sludge on the bag. The poultry sludge is not chicken excrement, throwns. of dead chickens along with other waste from rendering and processing plants. It always comes back to rendering plants for this podcast. One of the worst words in English language I think is render. It's so bad. And slurry. And slurry's been theary.

It covers a multitude of sins. It's just the idea of just like a thii. too. I've been rendered into a thick slurry. Something about the process is just so funny to me, which is maybe why red ring plants come up so much on this, but just the idea of just like a guy with a shovel tiping in chicken and pig corpses, and then out the end you get a sort of a pink paste, the texture of a McDonald's soft serve ice cream. And what happens in the middle?

Well, that's none of my business. Quote, my husband told me there is a landfill on fire and I said where? He said Moody in Moody. How are we getting it from Moody? He said I don't know but it was happening at the same time said Morris resident Vicky Smith With concern growing city councilman McKay livers Decided to check out the smell himself He's out there doing the work. He is this is a he's on the streets a favorite of ours which is a city city the city the city the city city city is a city is a city is a city is a city is a city the city the city is a city the city the city is a city the city the city the city the city the city the city the city the city the city the city the city the city the city the city the city to to th th thi thi to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the th the th th th th the th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to to to the to thi thi thi to check out the smell himself. He's out there doing the work. He is. This is a- He's on the streets. A favorite of ours, which is a city employee

doing the footwork to find the smell? To find a smell. Quote, my daughter, when I got the phone call, she and I jumped in the car, rode down the road. Okay. We rolled down the windows and we started gagging. It was pretty horrible. I just don't believe this is an operation that needs to be occurring this close to a city, said Councilman livers. This is why he is recommending the Alabama Department of Environmental Management consider consider a series of regulation changes designed both to limit the impact of smells like this on residents and to notify local authorities prior to their application so they have answers if someone calls with questions.

Quote, one of my requests is just kind of take a little bit more consideration into the local based on potentially population density and also the route traveled, I think, is important to note. There's no punctuation in that sentence. We're missing a couple words. I cannot pass that, but I think I get the vibe. Yeah, I think I understand maybe. Secondly, just kind of requiring also a little bit of additional notification to any

local government entities. Oh, this is not provided us. You can trim it for clarity in style. I think, I think maybe don't chicken sludge. We didn't get any definitive answers from this though whether it was the chicken sludge or the landfill fire that was like 35 kilometers away. Maybe a bit of a combo. Yeah, depending on which way the wind's blowing. It's either the guy next door is chicken sludge or like half hours drive away

landfill fire. Yeah, you're getting both depending on which way the wind's going. I don't want to denigrate the beautiful country of America. Wonderful land of opportunity. But there always seems to be, like right now there's like a plastic plant on fire in Florida or something right that's fucking some shit up as well. It's a lot of stuff that seems stinky over there. It's just a landfill shit on fire yeah oh sorry it was a factory that made plastic plant pots pots for plants oh boy a five acre Florida fire burns plastic pots outside the nursery plant pot warehouse. So that's got to be bad for you as well.

Just stay indoors. Start wearing stalker-style full-covering gas masks when you leave the house. If you're a cyber gothawth, you might already be doing this, that's awfully convenient. But stay safe out there, Christ. Take up smoking cigarettes. That way you know it's just the tobacco particulate going into your lungs. Just kill your senses in your lungs you won't smell shit. It's probably safer. God damn. Just grim. Foul. Green. We just got a new bit of filter to take some of the lead out of our, potential lead out of our water. That's nice. I think it would be very, very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very. the the the th. th. th. the th. th. th. the th. th. the the th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. to th. It's just just just just just to to to to to th. It's just the the the to the the the to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to. to. to. to to to to to be just. to be just just just just just just just just just just just to be to be to be to be to be the to be to be to be to be to be tob. tobacco. tobacco. tobacco. tobacco. tobacco. tobacco. to. to. to. to. to. to. the. to. to take some of the lead out of our, potential lead out of our water.

That's nice. I think it would be very, very low levels, like it was almost below. The test result I got from Ace Hardware was marginal, is what I'm saying. And I got a nicer Brita filter to hopefully filter out some of that. Why do they're lead in your water? Okay, a few things going on here. Number one, the Midwest is kind of a bad history with maybe some lead being in the pipes and stuff, especially in older houses and like where the pipes are joined coming into your house.

It has like lead lying and some bullshit. I think the amount that was potentially getting in was very low, but nevertheless, it is a cool thing to kind of think about and obsess about when you're trying to sleep. Am I getting dumber because I'm drinking too much lead or am I just getting older and... I'm dumber. Now that I've started using the Brita filter I can kind of focus more than on more than one thing at once so that's probably what it is. You reckon getting a Britta water filter cured your ADHD? Would you say that? I that? that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th th th. th. th. tho tho tho tho tho tho thu tho tho. tho. tho tho tho tho thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu is thu is th. th. th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th. thu is thu is thu is thu is thu. thu thu thu thu thui thui thui thui thui thui thuui thu thu. thu. I think that was the weed vaporizer that we got. All right, well, okay, so this is our advice. Full face gas mask, brittle water filter, get a better weed vape.

What, what are you rocking? You got that Pax 3? Oh, I don't know. My roommate got it, God blessen. I was originally, freaking smoking out of whatever. This makes it sound more desperate than maybe it is, but you gotta clean out the things you smoke weed out, is what I'm saying, you gotta clean those out. You do.

I'm not judging you, I'm just saying that like, because I've maybe let mine go a little too much, and then it's like I'm breathing in some sort of carcinogens or something. But now that we have the vaporizer, I'm not coughing anymore. I can remember stuff, that's not true, but overall it's huge, huge increase to my HP between the BRITA filter and the vaporizer and maybe like going outside a few times a week. That helps. These are all things that we recommend that you regularly do. Yeah. Check those out. And if you have some recommendations for what you think we should th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. That's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi thi the the the the the the the thi the the the the thi thi. thi. the the the that the that the the that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that regularly do. Yeah. Check those out. And if you have some recommendations for what you think we should do, don't. That's not the sort of feedback we solicit. But if you want to give us some other kind of feedback, please contact us on the

Buntavista hotline. 1,800, three, one, eight hundred, three, one, seven, five, one five, that's the Boltonvista hotline. You can send us an email. Mail bag at Bolivista.com, maybe DM us on Twitter. You could even message Facebook. We don't really check the Facebook Yeah!

8003175, 515, that's the Boltervista hotline. 1,8003175, that's the Boltervista hotline. This is an email sent into us by a listener, Greg, who said, you put up a lawyer signal, you get an email. This was in regards to us talking about the lawyers that listen to this show doing boring stuff. Hello, brackets, fancy legal voice, Bunte, Vista. Nice, I like it.

Yeah, having fun there. I'm an American lawyer, the fun kind. I'm a public defender. Admittedly, that is fun. You're right, Gregor. Yeah. I mean, I don't know if the job sounds like fun. I mean, you'd probably do good things as a public defender, right? Probably.

While listening to episode 285, Penn, sword, dog turd, I heard something that required my particular expertise. Specifically, Bloomington, Illinois. Oh, sorry, specifically, Bloomington, Illinois is the one that's the twin city of normal. Bloomington, Indiana, about 200 miles away to the southeast is probably best known as the home of the University of Indiana. Thanks, Greg Peterson, Springfield, Illinois. P.S. This is a great PS. Indiana law allows for a few different kinds of arson. For most flavors of arson, the property you burn has to belong to someone else. But I checked, and the state of Indiana has charged this guy under subsection 1A2, under that subsection, under that subsection, it's arson if you use fire slash explosives

to damage the, quote, property of any person under circumstances that endanger human life Even if the property and the life endangered are yours Okay, that is the most arson would probably endanger human life though right like it's a fire Which is notoriously like not good for a human life. Yeah, well, I wonder how? And Greg feel free to write it again, but like let's say he had lit his car on fire in an extremely safe way, with no risk- Is that okay? Yeah, yeah, and he did it on his own property, would that be fine? Cops come like, hey, you can't do that, be like, oh, it's my car, I'm wearing safety goggles, I'm 30 feet away. He's got his little suit on. Yeah, he's cleared the brush the brush the brush the brush the brush the brush the brush the brush the brush the brush the brush the brush the brush the brush the brush the brush the brush the brush the brush the brush the brush the brush the brush the brush the brush the brush the brush th. th. th. th. thoomoom's th. thathe's thoom? thoom? th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's their their their their th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. the. the. the. the. theateate. theateateateateateateateathea. theateateathe's theateathea. theathe's the. He's the. He's 30 feet away. He's got his safety goggles. He's got his little suit on. Yeah. He's cleared the brush immediately around the car. He's got a hose ready to go in case the fire spreads.

Cups just have to watch him do it. It'd be like, all right, man. It's your 1998 Buick. Do your arson safely. Practice safe arson. It sounds like don't do it in Indiana. That's what I'm hearing. Oh Yeah. the the the the the the the the same. Do the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Yeah. th. th. th. th. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's the th. He's th. the th. th. He's the th. the th. the the th. the the th. the th. the the th. the the th. the th. He's like don't do it in Indiana, that's what I'm hearing. Oh yeah, go somewhere lawless. Any other state's going to come down. Yeah. Go on to some Bureau of Land Management Land where there are no rules whatsoever and just burn your fucking car to the ground while shooting an endangered bird in the face. And the beer lamb cars? And then it'll just like eventually it'll just emulate itself. You just leave it there. Leave your cyber truck in the middle of a field and it'll do the work for you. Yeah, that's right. You won't even have to cut your brake lines, pour fuel into the boot of your car and then throw a flaming handkerchief through the window like this guy did. I hope that thii thi. I that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's thoen. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thioli. theen. theen, theateate. the. the theate. the the. their their their their their their their their their their their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. thi. I'll thi. thi. I'll thi. I'll thi. thi. thi. theateateateateateateateateateateateateate. I'll toda. I'll try. today's try. theateateat theat the. Yeah. Yeah. I'll that guy's doing all right. I hope so. Hey, I think that technically

constituted an episode of the podcast Buntavista. This was, it's still Freemian and Fribeware. This is the second last, the penultimate free bonus episode that you'll get as part of Freeman and Fribera. We've enjoyed having you, maybe you've enjoyed having these extra episodes. Consider paying for if you want and if you don't want to, you know, that cost of living crisis, you got to buy self-treats and things of that nature. Maybe you don't think podcasts are worth money, which rude, but fair enough. Maybe you think they're not quite human? Maybe we think we might beits as you? Maybe we're rats to you, who knows? Maybe we're vermin. Yeah, maybe we're just fucking scoff.

You know what, you have some shit? Consider paying for the podcast if you want, but don't feel pressure to. It's free otherwise, that's the magic of this system. You can get the free stuff. You got it, baby. Congratulations on becoming vermin like us. Yes, we are scum together. It's a good life. It's lovely being scum with you.

People can find your podcast, SludgeFest on your substack, which is also called SludgeFest. Is that Substack.com slash sludgefest? It sure is. And there's also a Patreon, Patreon. That's just Patreon. Sledge Fest. All of my science stuff is going to be free, no matter what. But I'm, you know, if you are feeling really generous and want to become a tier, tier person,

I don't know what you call it. I am working on some some goofier like premium stuff we can do. And thank you very much if you do choose to throw. I think the tier starts at like a dollar. But all the science stuff and all the stuff about eco-horrors will be free. So, sign up for a dollar month, contribute to this man's weed fund, help him live healthfully and safely. You also endeavor to live healthly and safely out there. Gas mask, weed vape, brittle water filter, stretch before you exercise. The vape into the gas mask even. People probably invented that right, surely.

That can't be good for you. Give it a try and let us know. Yeah. Otherwise, we'll see you next week. Bye. Bye. Bye. you