Boonta Vista - UNLOCKED BONUS EPISODE: Cattle To The Mattle

Episode Date: March 6, 2022

We were gonna welch on the bonus episode this week thanks to the two hour free episode but as a very sincere thank you for the extraordinary amount of money you donated to our flood relief fundraiser, here is a third hour of the podcast Boonta Vista (too much, honestly). *** Andrew, Lucy, and Theo bring you: A very unfortunate gun accident, a plague of flying spiders, a bepranked orange child, the racing lobby bowing out of schools, a challenging bike race, and the worst kind of office perks. *** Donations will be open for two more days from the time of this post, check boontavista.com/donate if you've got a few spare coins and you'd love to help out xo *** Support our show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista *** Email the show at [e-mail]! Call in and leave us a question or a message on 1800-317-515 to be answered on the show! *** Twitter: twitter.com/boontavista Website: boontavista.com Merchandise: shop.boontavista.com/ Twitch: twitch.tv/boontavista

Hey, it's me, Ben from the internet podcast, Buntavista. It's about 7.40pm, Sunday, 6th of March, and it is the 7th day of what I think future peoples will refer to as the 2022 Brisbane floods. It has been a lot. You might already notice that the free episode that was in your feed from this week, episode 239, was a whopping two hours long, which would generally give us license to say, fuck you to a bonus episode, and to take a little time off for ourselves because as we all know podcasting is very hard to work. But in light of the fundraising stream that we

had this weekend and the frankly enormous amount of money that you guys managed to donate we thought maybe we can put a little bit more effort in and chuck you chuck you a little bonus episode both for the the Patreon subscribers and for the others the normals if you will yeah I mean I mean how else do you say thank you for people donating just such an extraordinary fucking massive amount of money? This is wild.

We're so chuffed. We're so thankful. I think if you're listening to this and it's before, let's say, maybe Tuesday, the 8th of March, donations will still be open. The causes we're donating to a Sikh Volunteers Australia, amazing people, feeding people that are desperately in need of just having a fucking warm meal. New South Wales, SES, based in Lismore, literally, you know, saving people from fucking drowning. And to loop

grows in Brisbane, which is a farm that is very important to me personally and very important to the wider community that I'm part of. I was out there this morning cleaning mud out of the shipping container that they kept all their tools in and Theo and I will be out there tomorrow at 7.30 in the morning. Fucking cleaning mud out of whatever mud needs mud cleaned out of. Yeah, we're very grateful, is what I'm saying. And that's, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's thi. And thi. And thi. And thi. I'm they they their their thoom. I'm their th of tho thi the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi. I'm that. I'm theat. I'm theat. theat. theat theat theat theuuiuiui. I'm thoooomoomorrow. I we're very grateful is what I'm saying. And that's why you're getting a bonus episode. I wasn't honest and I'm about to get in and edit it. But if there's any anything questionable in there, anything rude in there,

that's frankly not my problem. That's on those guys. Can't vouch for its quality. But it's probably. That's on those guys. Can't vouch for its quality, but it's probably good. I mean, I like those guys, I think they're funny. Who knows? Anyway, I've rattled on for long enough. I hope you're well. Thank you so much for donating. If it's before Tuesday or on Tuesday, and you got a couple of bucks a spare, point of vis.com, that'd be amazing. That'd be amazing. Thank you so much. This podcast is very silly. It's nice that we can do nice things with it. Anyway I hope you well. Be well. Thank you.

Bye. Welcome to Buente Vista, it's a bonus episode. And here you are in my bedroom in 2007. And here you are in my bedroom in 2007. We're all getting ready to go to, it's a bonus episode. And here you are in my bedroom in 2007, and we're all getting ready to go to the Taste of Chaos concert tour in Melbourne. Carefully applying his eyeliner while sucking in to fit into a pair of pink J.J.Skine jeans.

It's my friend Andrew Aesthetic. Andrew, would you agree that Jared Lido in 30 seconds to Mars is taste sex? I couldn't tell who said that I just need to push my fringe out of my eyes. Oh, who's talking to me? Sorry, I can only see you with the one eye that is now uncovered from beneath my fringe. I never uncover the other one and that is why my vision is it looks fucked up. I'm glad to keep that that's thi to to to to to to to to to the to to to the to the to to to the taste the to to taste sex taste sex to taste sex taste sex taste sex taste sex taste sex taste sex taste sex taste sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex. I to see. I to see. I to see. I to see. I to see. I to see to see to to to to to to to to to to th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I taste. I taste. I'm taste. I'm taste. I'm taste. I'm taste. I'm taste. I'm taste. I'm taste. I'm taste. I'm tas. I tas. I never uncover the other one and that is why my vision is not to be bad. I'm glad to keep that thing covered. It looks bad. You got that 20 infinity vision. Yeah, yeah, when I uncover it, it's just you don't know where it's going. I do agree though, he is Tess X and I tell you what, wouldn't take me a whole 30 seconds to get to Mars with that guy. Oh. Oh. I I I I I I I I I I I I. I. I. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that that that that. I that. I that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that. I that's that. I that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'd tell tell tell tell tell tell tell me tell me tell me tell me the the theeeeeee. I that's that's that's tell that's that's that's the. I tell you what, wouldn't take me a whole 30 seconds to get to Mars with that time. Oh, I wish you didn't say that. Great.

And now, updating his MySpace profile so that it plays Ohio is for lovers by Hawthorne Heights rather than the previous Taking Back Sunday song, it's my friend, Theo, why are you removing Andrew from your top friends list? Well, I mean, look, this is not going to get me any closer to getting fingered, is it? So, him being on their complete non-starter. And that's the only currency in 2007 is whether or not you're going to get fingered. All anyone's talking about is who is getting fingered and who's doing the finger. I mean, have you seen his car? It's, I just, personally I cannot see myself getting fingered in that car in like a pizza

hut parking lot or the back of a Birch Carroll coil, you know, after we've gone and seen, fucking what was on in 2007? I'm just having a look right now what the line-ups were. Yeah, American Pie 3, perfect. Prime, prime fingering territory, for sure. Yeah, the problem is you're just about to get your hand into her J.J's skinny jeans. And then, Stifler says something that has her doing belly about to get your hand into her J.J.'s skinny jeans and then Stiffler says something that has her doing belly laughs that shoot your hands straight

back out of it, you know? Yeah. You've got to start all over again. Too much. Then you've got to go on to see I am Sam. Oh. Oh, boy. Oh, boy.

I don't, I don't like that. I, that. I, that. I, that. I, that. I, that. I, that. I, that. I, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. I, th. I, th, th. I, th. I, th. I'm, that, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th. St. St. St. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S, th. S, th. S, th. S, th. S, th. S, th. S, th. th. th. tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha. tha. thi. tha. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. St. Stiffe. Stifle. Stifle. Stifle. Stifle. St. tha, I don't like that. I took a date to I am Sam. Yeah, yeah. That's, yeah, that's definitely one of the, yeah. Yeah, yeah, I had, I had terrible judgment as a, as a boyfriend. They could just make movies like that. 2001, good lord. Is that when I am Sam came out? 15 is not an age Is that when I am Sam came out?

Fifteen is not an age to go and see I am in the cinemas. It's not a sexy experience. Wow. I'm such a moron. Oh, when Sean Penn makes them cry, you know you're in with a chance, you know. I'm going to hold you. I'm going gonna hold you. Chance of something. Yeah, you're not supposed to do that when you star in a movie, in my opinion.

Um, uh, I suppose. Yeah. You're not supposed to- What's that? And what is it that you never, you should never do? We'll know what he did. I actually think it's difficult to narrow down the list of things that Sean Penn shouldn't have done. Yeah. Because I was just, I was seeing those reports of him turning up in Ukraine and being like,

I'm making a documentary. I'm here to help. So the world can see. And then there was a follow-up article saying that apparently he just like walked to the border at Poland and was like, let me out of here. Yeah. Ah, it's really scary over here. But when I was looking for something about that, I saw the headline from however many years ago of like Sean Penn regrets doing that interview with El Chappo? Yeah. Where he did an interview with notorious

Drug Lord El Chappo Oh, yeah for Rolling Stone magazine And then El Chapo got captured like a week later and Shon Pen was like hey had nothing to do with me. Yeah, please don't take my toenails. I met him in a whole different place. I don't think I like Sean Penn's vibe. Like I get bad vibes. Yeah, and I feel like he's doing a disservice for like, I don't know.

It's just very easy to make fun of for like being nominally left, but he's kind of just a moron about it as well. Oh yeah, no, he's out there doing his, he's out there doing like anti-trans stuff now. Yeah, he's showing his whole arsoll. Hey, speaking of showing your whole asshole, we were talking about cats before the movie cats. And we're talking about, okay, so you don't get a handle on scale and the the the their, and their, and thage, and thage, and thage, and, and, and, thua, thua, thua, thirty, thirty, thirty, thirty, thirty, thirty, thirty, thirty, ttax, ttax, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, t, t, t, t, he, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, thau.a, thau.a, thau.a'a'a'a'a'a'er.a'er.a.a.a.a.a.a.a. And, tha. And, tha, t. And, okay, so you don't know, we can't get a handle on scale and CG and all that sort of stuff. What I can't get a handle on the movie Cats and also keep in mind that I haven't seen it and also I haven't seen any of the trailers.

But I've just sort of seen a lot of stuff just through like osmosis and stuff is, how new do they supposed to be because a primary kind of factor in cat ownership is seeing butthole like 40 times a day you're seeing hole all day long. So you're thinking that you're seeing the hole of all these I can't think of one of their fucked up name. Rum tum tugger's hole. There you go. Are you seeing rum tum tug a hole? Well, the fucked up part to me is there is a scene where Rebel Wilson is a cat and it's meant, it's meant to be funny because the cat is fat. You know what's fucked up is for a while there. Yeah, um, remember how she was in a bunch of movies and they were like,

you know, you know what'd be funny, you know what's funny, is if this lady was fat. Yeah. And now, um, she's put an enormous amount of time and effort into losing a whole bunch of weight. And now, now, now, now she's just kind of not funny. So maybe they were right, you know? Maybe. That is what's funny. Oh yeah, I see. Oh, okay. I'm seeing a little trailer here.

Sort of like a highlight reel of Rebel Wilson, and she's a cat. And she's sort of dancing, but she's like knocking stuff over with her bum. But get this. Now that's funny. At some point, she's wearing like a furry suit and then she undoes a zipper down the front and steps out of it and she's still covered in fur? It's really unsettling. I don't like that. It's very unsettling.

I really feel like there are a lot of things that were very important to kind of nail down as far as like the mechanics of all of this. I can say from having seen it that it would have been so much more successful as a movie. Yeah, if they had put all of these people into like morph suits and given them headbands with caddies on them. And the Bear Gaping Hole. So digest with caddies on them. And the bear gaping hole? So just the caddies in the hole. Yeah, I agree. A big hole in the same page here.

Big hole. You glue on a series of nipples down the front and you're good to go. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. All right. So the reason the reason this came up was because, um, in my attempt to to to to to to to to to the to the. All right. So the reason the reason this came up was because in my attempt to watch all the movies that have been made I watched the film

adaptation of the musical Dear Evan Hansen which has been absolutely universally panned and much like cats if something gets a bad enough reputation it enters my I need to watch this column? Yeah, I mean you famously saw smile twice before, like, music, the Zia movie? Music, music. You saw music twice before. I think at the time I was trying to recommend some movie and you're like, I don't see it twice. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, no, I'm gonna watch music. I prefer to not watch a th a th a th. I watch a th. I watch a th. I th. th. th. to watch a th. th. th. th. to watch a th. to recommend some movie and you're like I've seen it twice yeah yeah yeah no I'm gonna watch music I prefer to not watch a good movie I did not get to the end of music that when I watched it I got to maybe like the let's say seven eighths of the way through okay that bad very very bad I simply can't watch the last eight so the things that the thing the thinks that the that the the that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th th. that that that th. that that that that that that that that that that th. that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that the the that that the that the that the that the that that that that that that that that that that that 't watch the last 8th. So the thing that cats and music and dear Evan Hansen all have in common is that the

movie working successfully is all resting on one factor that they have miscalculated so catastrophically, is all resting on one factor that they have miscalculated so catastrophically that it just makes every single scene in the movie not work. And Dear Evan Hansen is like that, but the other the other criticism that I saw of it was people who had seen the stage musical saying this musical kind of works on stage because theater is theater. Yeah, like outsized. It's, it's not in the same sort of, it doesn't play by the same rules of reality, right?

Like it's a bit bigger and smaller at the same time. It's, yeah, it's a lot cheesier, it's a lot more sentimental, there's a lot more moor to kind of tug at the heart strings and all that sort of th........ It. It. It's. It's, it. It's, it. Yeah, it, it, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's. It's. It's, it's. It's. It's, it's, it's. It's. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it maudlin stuff, it's doing a lot more work to kind of tug at the heart strings and all that sort of thing. And when you find how what the plot of Dear Evan Hanson is, it's fucking nuts. It's incredibly ghoulish and it makes me wonder how it ever worked as a stage musical. I'm gonna spoil dear Evan Hanson for all of us. us. I am going to spoil the whatever 2015 musical, dear Evan Hanson. So it's called dear Evan Hanson because Evan Hansen, the fucking loser played by 30 year old man Ben Platt. He sucks, nobody likes him.

He's very nervous. He's on meds, which I feel like there's a big trend in American stuff of like really demonizing young people being on meds. But what about his character? And so, you know, he sucks and everything. He's in the library writing a letter to himself, Dear Evan Hansen, today's gonna be a great day, et cetera. And this is a task that has been given to him by his therapist to write a nice letter to himself, right?

Yeah? And he goes to print it out in the library, and local clinically insane suicidal Goth kid sees it, takes it from him and goes home and he's like oh no he's going to publish it and embarrassing me badly. Instead what this kid does is kill himself but he kills himself in possession of this letter and people are like, you guys must have been friends. And Evan Hanson says, yes, we were. Yeah.

And it's sort of just madcap from their sort of like a friend's episode. It makes me think of the story we did on here once about like a guy who had been charged in Australian court with like impersonating a soldier, because he had gone into like a pub and some form of mistaken identity thing. And he had just told a story about being in Afghanistan or Iraq or whatever, and people were like, wow, you're a real hero, let us all buy you a beer.

And the next time he came back, uh, like everybody bought him beers and asked to hear another story. And he did, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, tho, tho, he thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, like, like, like, thi, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, thi, thi, thi, the, thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooom. the, thi, th everybody bought him beers and asked to hear another story. And he did, and then at some point he's like bought himself medals, and like, then he's giving inspirational speeches to local school kids in full uniform and everything. And when they pulled him up in front of the court, he said, hey, just kind of got out of hand. Which I really appreciated it. The problem with these stories is though, you can just sort of like, you can just the th, you can th, you th, you can just th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, that, that, that, that, that, that, tho, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that, that, that, that, th. th. th. th. th. th. that, that, that, that, that, these stories is though, you can just sort of like, you can just tell me the lead in.

And I can just close my eyes and picture the whole rest of it anyway. Yeah. Like, dear Evan Hanson, like, oh, this guy, you know, this guy, you know, killed himself with a impossed with a letter that made it look like he th........ the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th th th. th. th. thi thi. the the the the the the thi. thi. theat thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the the the the th. th. the th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeean. th. yep got it he's got to kind of keep keep the lie up keep adding to it yeah and then at some point it's revealed you know I get absolutely no no I and I get it I don't need to see the movie I need to see oh you definitely don't need to see the movie um oh man making funance by his dad to you know do this whatever yeah and the but like like like the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th, you know, do this whatever. Yeah, and the, but like, the, the fucked thing is that as the movie goes on and, you know, he's talking to like the dead kid's parents who were like, oh, you were his friend, you know,

tell us about your friendship and everything. And he starts telling them this fantasized version about, you know, their friendship. But for him, it's very fulfilling because he doesn't have any fucking friends, and he's imagining what it would be like to have someone who cared about him, you know. So he starts to like, really gleefully engage in inventing these fictions for the family and friends and community around a dead teenager. This guy sounds fuck. I don't like this guy. You're meant to feel for him.

Like he's the protagonist. You're meant to feel bad for him. Sounds like a fucking school shooter. Like, you're meant to feel bad for him because he's like an isolated outsider and feel some sort of sympathy for him. Yeah. Am I meant to feel sympathy for the Joker? And all of this is tremendously undercut by the fact that the lead role is played by a 30 year old man dressed as a school kid. It looks like fucking Martin

Shorten Clifford. It looks ridiculous. It's out of control. And all the other kids are played by teens. So it works even less. That's fucked up. Like you th. Like th. Like th. Like th. Like th. Like this. Like th th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th th thi this. this. this. this. this. It's thi thi this. this. this. thi thi thi thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi of control. And all the other kids are played by teens. So it works even less. That's fucked up. Like you should at least cast 25 year olds for the other people. Yeah. Yeah. Instead what you wind up with is like the whole thing really has the energy because it also has like kind of Hallmark channel, just vaguely realistic McMansion production values. And yeah, what you wind up with is the entire thing has the energy of like an S&L digital short, you know? The whole thing has the energy of like a filmed skit. So it's like watching a big joke where the

punchline does not arrive for two whole house. So if you're into like if you're into inflicting like psychic distress upon yourself for the for the purposes of entertainment I would I would say it's for people who like to shriek and and throw popcorn at the screen, like people watching the room and stuff like that, you know, with Tommy Wazzow and that sort of thing. I would say it has a very similar vibe to those movies. If you have things to do with your time, however, and I don't recommend it. If you want to see a movie with a completely irredeemable protagonist who's sort of played

to be like the sympathetic lead, etc. But they're actually aware of what they're doing. Just watch the fucking Observe and Report instead. In fact just watch Observe and Report anyway. That's a good movie. It's such a good movie. People fuck morons to not like that movie. It's great, has one of the greatest endings of all time time times times times times times times times times times times tiiiiiiii. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. that movie. It's great has one of the greatest endings of all time. Like... Is it a Jody Hill movie? I believe so, yeah. Yeah. It's got the Michael

Peña in it. Yeah, man, it's a real bad time in the same way that East Bounder Down is as well, which is also great. Man, you can go and just watch all of Jodie Hills' Uvelle and have a much better time. That's for sure how you say that word. Hey, I can see our, I could see our patron patron subscriber subscribers going down in real time while we describe the entire plot to a movie. Well, hey, hey, things that make us want to blow our brains out. Whoa! Whoa!

Andrew, is this the one thing we didn't want to happen? It's one of them. This is the one thing we didn't want to happen. Yeah, see, I can do a segue way that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi is is thi is thi is thi is thi is thi is thi is thi is thi is thi is thi is thi is thi is thi is thi. thii. thiii. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi is thi is thi thing we didn't want to happen. Yeah, see I can do a segue for a long time. Sorry, so you just had that segue. The segue that you had sitting there, regardless of the content was going to be speaking of things that make us want to blow our brain down. You had no idea of the content that was going to come up. I just assumed that was where we're comes to us from the Natchez Democrat.

Excuse me? N-A-T-C-H-E-S. Natchez? That's a place in an American city that I think we've brought up at some point before. We should get a billboard there. Where is that? Natchez, Mississippi. Oh, Natchez, Mississippi.

Just a couple towns over. Natchez woman who shot herself accidentally is in stable condition. A 47-year-old Natchez woman has been airlifted from Merit Health Natchez to a Jackson hospital after accidentally shooting herself, according to law enforcement. Adams County Sheriff, Travis Patton, said the woman appears to have shot herself accidentally with a 22 pistol on Thursday morning and is still alive. Adams County Sheriff's Office investigator Frank Smith said deputies responded to a shooting in the 100 block of Far Road in Natchez. Now is it the 100 block because you know we were talking about American addresses where it's like I live at 6,000 something lanes.

So someone said okay well each block is like a hundred because Americans have no idea how to build roads so they just build grids. So I think that works in like a city where it's like 4th Street is like just after a 3rd Street. You know that makes sense but I don't get why there's thousands of numbers on well they're saying that the numbers so your number so you're like 6400 you know Blackface Street the that's like the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the number. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th.. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th.s. the.s.s.s.s.s.s.s.s.s.s.s.s.s. the.s. the. the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the numbers, so your number, say you're like 6400, you know, Blackface Street. The, um, that's like the 64th block along? Sure. Is it? So I'm, so I'm told. Or is it the 640th block? No, I don't know. Look, I don't know.

The victim told deputies of medical workers she'd been carrying the gun and stumbled over the threshold of her house and accidentally discharged the weapon. This is the fucking, all right, go and read the next sentence. The bullet went underneath her chin and exited near her eye. Oh my. Smith said. This is literally what I spent like 30 or 40% of my time thinking about. It's just like, oh what if I tripped over and the thing that I'm carried kind of like, is this accidental? How do you accidentally go through my head? I can't get anything worse than shooting yourself

accidentally. No. It must be so painful. Out of the things you want to do like carrying this gun around, I think tripping and shooting yourself through the head is right down the bottom or the top of the list, depending on how you're ranking them. So I'm worried when I recycle cans, that if I didn't pull the whole ring pull off the can, that when I go to take the recycling out, I'm going to cut to to cut the rec........ So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So, the the the to to the to to the to to the their, to their, to their, their, their, th. th. th. th. thi, thr-n, thi, th. I's, th. I's, th. I's, the their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their. So. And, their. And, their. And, their. And, their, their. And, th. And, try. And, try. And, try. And, try. And, try. And, try. try. try. try. try. try. tipe. tipe. And, tr-I's, tr-I's. And, trying, trying. And, trying. And, trying, tryingthe can, that when I go to take the recycling out, I'm going to cut myself on a little circular can, which hurts really bad. And you're going to trip over and like both your hands will kind of get stuck in. And I think about that all the time when I'm putting a can in the recycling bin. So I'm imagining like that, except you just have a gun in your home and you carry it with you. And you're like, well, I've just been, just been squishing all this butter down the sinkhole.

So I'm to carry my gun over several thresholds. That's no good. Why are you, why is your, why are you just carrying your gun around the house? Why is the safety off? Just your loaded gun. I, um, I read a story that was incredibly depressing. Anybody want to hear it? Yes. Sure, we're at this point now. Yeah, no, this is really going to bum you out, Theo. So this is a story from Texas about a guy who got held up at gunpoint at a gas station, right? And the, the dude who held him up at gunpoint at a gas station, right?

And the dude who held him up has then run off into the night. The guy who got held up said, I got something for you and ran over to his truck and pulled out his gun. And then he turned and not being able to see the guy, said, oh, I assume he has got into that pickup over there and is trying to get away and opens fire on this pickup truck that did not have the robber in it, and instead just unloaded into a truck that had a family sitting in it, and their nine-year-old daughter was in the back who got shot in the head and killed. Jesus Christ. And so like the the multiple fuck things about

this story are that like in in this part of Texas they were saying oh you don't you don't need to like be trained with a gun or register it or anything to carry a loaded gun around you can just go out if you need to like be trained with a gun or register it or anything to carry a loaded gun around. You can just go to a store-by-one. What if you need to shoot someone? Cattle it around. You don't need to need any of that shit. And then as a follow-up to the story, it said she was the second nine-year-old shot within a week.

I feel like we just need to hit pause on America for a while. Yeah just let it you guys just just chill for a bit. Hold on yeah just to regain some health. Yeah some manner. You know when you know when you're like boiling some pasta and and it goes too far and it starts kind of bubbling up and it's about to overflow and then it goes on to the stove And then like the off the burner for a little bit The water immediately cooks off and then you got all the starch all over the hot plate and everything Instead what you want to do you want to just take it off. Yeah, you want to take it off the boil real quick you want to take it off. You want to take it off you? you to take to take to take to take to take to take to take to take to take the the to take the the to take the the to take to take the boil the boil the boil to take the boil the boil the boil to take the boil to take the boil the boil the boil the boil the boil the boil the boil the boil the boil the boil the boil. the boil. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You want the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the boil the boil the boil the boil the boil the boil the boil the boil the boil the boil? you the boil. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You want the the the the to take. You want. You want. You want to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the to the the the the the the to the the the the the you've gone too far and you can still take it off. Yeah. The first best time was before that happened, the next best time is now when it's sort of boiling over in

horrible violence. So just just hit pause on America for a bit. We'll just take it off the burner. We'll just let everything settle down a little bit. You know we've probably got some more prep work to do with like veggies or whatever. We've got some ideas. We just got some ideas. We've got some ideas about those guys. Yeah, we do some brainstorming about America and come back when we're ready. Yeah. Yeah, that one really bummed me out. Yeah, that's a bum.

I just, you know, we've talked about it before I'm sure, but it's just extremely hard to imagine like.. And I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's, and we've that's, and we've that's, and we've that's, we've that's, we've that's, and we've that's, and we've that's, and we've that's, and we've that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th... th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that th. that that th. that that that's probably, we've that that that I'm sure, but it's just extremely hard to imagine like... And I know that this is the point, this is the point if you are like a right-wing politician or if you are a gun lobbyist or whatever, the point is to get laws passed where everyone who wants a gun can have one and all that sort of stuff because it's by design extremely hard to roll that stuff back once it's out there, you know? Anyway, this lady's injuries were critical but she's in stable condition as a Thursday afternoon, isn't that good news? That's good news. Are you going to tell us some bad news now? Well, I mean, sometimes you get a bit of bad news. Sometimes you don't so much get the news, but you get a vibe.

You feel a little something on the horizon. It might be a little unsettling to you. Could be worse. That's something we call an omen and or a portent. You shall see hail fall from a clear sky and burn his fire upon the ground. You shall see darkness cover Egypt when the sun climbs high to noon. And you shall know that God is God, and bow down to his will. Folks, this one comes to us from WGCL, Wogkul.

Oh, tune in a WGCL. The Wguckle! The Wogkle News, Georgia. Giant parachuting spiders could show up along the entire east coast of the United States, according to some scientists, the unpopular ones. Doesn't sound like science to me. I'm seeing some glaring things that don't sound like real to me, but go on. It sounds to me like the 1990 film Arachnophobia.

I watched that with my kids and I was like that's what happened to me. That's why I got my intense spider fear. Originally from Japan the three inch long Joro spider made its way first to Georgia and has begun to slowly spread out three inches fucking grow up. Oh he's a little guy. He's a little guy. Are we talking and are we talking like from... Are we talking wingspan or? Yeah we talking like legspin? Oh that's not that big they're being pussies about it. Like a diameter radius? We're telling about like a huntsman size. Even? Is that even a huntsman? I'm having to look, I'm looking at the Joro spider right now and it's just hanging out on somebody's hand. What does he look like? They look like they're friends. Did he look fucked?

Oh, a little friendly fellow from like Charlotte, from Charlotte's Web. Yeah, it's Charlotte. Oh he's like a little garden spider. Yeah, he's a little guy. He just just like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like th. He's like th. He's like th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th like like like like like like th. thi thi, thi, thi's like like like like like thi, the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their, their, their, their, their their. I their their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I thi. thi. I's like, thi. toge. toge. toge. toge. toge. toge. toge. toge. I's th. I's like the. I's like thi. I's like th garden spider. Yeah, he's a little guy. He just wanted to hang in from the web kind of guys. And quite pretty, if I may say so. Yeah. He's kind of beautiful. Yeah. They seem pretty friendly. Like he's hanging out on this guy's hand. So.

Yep. So, let's see. University of Georgia scientists have released a study saying the eight-legged residents are about to come even more prolific at Georgia and spread up and down the entire East Coast. Quote, it doesn't have anything that's controlling its population size in the new habitat, but it has perfect conditions to spread. Said Benjamin Frick, co-author of the study, and an undergraduate at Odom School of Ecology, University of Georgia. Scientists say it will continue to spread because of its ability to survive the cold.

Why are you saying it like that? Why are you saying it like that? Quote, so in our experiment we exposed them to a brief period of cold only for a couple of minutes at below freezing temperatures and most of them did just fine. Most. Most is something. Being a scientist rules. Yeah, you can just do that.

You know what to do that. You know, like, what if we just made these spiders? Yeah, it's so like I don't see what to make of that. Anyway. Researchers have found the spiders can travel using their webs like balloons or parachutes to ride the wind. That rocks. But it is unknowing humans who will spread them quicker. Frick and Davis said if you are unlucky enough to be bitten by a juro, its bite feels far less than a wasp sting like a little pinch. That's cute. That's cute.

It is cute. They do have a little venom, but like a bee or a waspsting. Most will not need any medical attention. These coast can expect to see webs around late May slash early June, but the really big female webs come around the start of fall. Yeah, I mean, I know this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is s supposed thusus sp sp sp sp spi spi spi spi spk spk spk spk spi spi spi spi spi spi spi. thi. thiom thiom thiom thiom thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. It is thi. It is thi. It is th. It is th. It is th. It is th. It is th. It is th. It is th. It is a th. It is a thi spi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's a thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th really big female webs come around the start of fall. Yeah I mean I know this this supposed to be scary and we put the big scary thing song up front etc but I'm gonna say this little spider in Australia I get thrown around like a true toy yep yeah it's got nothing. I've got like 20 of these bad boys outside my window. From CNET they're saying no need to squish vivid invasive Jorospiders, researchers say. Jorospiders are real lookers. They are big and have eye-catching yellow highlights on their bodies and legs.

That's true. They're looking good. They're from Japan, but they quite like the environment in the US state of Georgia. There's no need to panic or kill the critters. They are not interested in biting people. And they do be kind of nice with it. While Joro spiders and golden silk spiders. What are they catching? Feelings? Bugs. I think, and probably hobbits as well. I think it's cool that they are not bidey.

Drow spiders are big enough for their legs to stretch across the palm of the hand and their fancy webs stand out, but they don't seem to be having a negative impact on their adopted home. They're a good form of natural pest control, catching mosquitoes, flies, and stink bugs. Oh. Oh. They were suggested. I got bitten by a stink bug the other day. You got stink bugs up there?

You got stink bugs? Yeah, we've got stink bugs. What they smell like? They smell awful, would you believe? Like what kind of smell we talking rotten egg? We wea they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th stink th stink th stink th stink th stink thi stink thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thiogs. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, tha tha tha tha. Oh, tha. Oh, they're they're they're tha'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a tha tha? Like what kind of smell we talking? We're talking rotten egg? We're talking trash? No, it's a, it's a far, it's like a way sharper smell than that. It's a very kind of, like, I don't know, like aurea or something? It's acrid, it's definitely an acrid smell. Okay. Yeah, don't like them. And I bit bit like like like like like like like like it. Like like it. Like like it. Like like it theira. Like like tha. Like it tha. Like like tha. Like like their tha. Like like tha. Like like tha. Like like tha. Like like their tha. Like like like like like like like like like like like, like, like r roera. Like, like roen tha. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like, like roomom? Like, like roer. Like, like roer. Like, like r re. Like, like re. Like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like theiria. Like, like it. Like, like theiria. Like, like theira. Like, like their their their th. Like, like th. Like, like th. Like, like th. Like, like th. Like, it's like thi. Yeah, it's like tha. Yeah, it's a tha. Yeah, it's a tha'a'er. Yeah, tha'er. Yeah, it's a tha. Yeah. Yeah, like rea. Yeah, like tha. Yeah, it's definitely an acrid smell. Okay. Yeah, don't like them. And I bit you. It bit me. Did it hurt? Yeah, I put my hand on like I was checking out. We got a little, I've got a little

parasitic orchid, orchid. I always get those mixed up. Okay. Me too, for like one moment. And I'm like, oh, I'm a moron. We've got a little parasitic awkward. And I was like checking, checking its fit, seeing if it's having a good suck. And then fucking bug bit me. Like, hey. That's bullshit, man. That's bullshit. Yeah.

I shouldn't have to, especially not from a stink bug. That is so true. Yeah. It's true. It's absolutely true. Frankly, it's... If it's going to eat a... I'm good with that. Go on.

Give it a whack. Being bitten by a stink bug in your own yard, that is frankly scandalous. And where else do we catalog scandals other than our precious and disgusting tabloids? This is of course tabloid phenomenon. This is of course tabloid phenomenon. Where we check in on what's happening in Britain's stinkiest publications. This one comes to us from Yorkshire Live.

Hoodersfield, lad, 12, mortified as mates trick him into dressing as an umpulumper on World Book Day. What? How do you get tricked into dressing as an umpulumper? Like, surely he can look, okay. Surely he can look at the picture and go, make a judgment, make a call on whether it's extremely stupid to... Uh-huh, anyway, let's read on.

Do we need British voice for this? Please. A mum has praised her son for quote always being up for a laugh after his mates quote tricked him into dressing up as an ump-lumpah on world book day. William a pupil at Salandine Nook High School Huddersfield. Come the fuck on. Came up with the idea himself and spent around half an hour painting his face orange to complete the costume. So he came up with the idea himself? How the fuck is that getting tricked?

God damn. Everybody always wants to blame the problems on someone else, you know? That's the problem these days. No one wants to work. So sure. His mum said William's friends had told him they were also dressing up for the much celebrated event, but he found he had been tricked after arriving at school early, leaving him mortified. Ah, that old chestnut. That's kind of a dick thing, actually, I'm going to say. She is now calling for people to show her son's support after he put in a huge amount of effort to get dressed. This is like, this has got that real flavor to me of like when someone puts a photo on like Facebook or Twitter

and it's their kid sitting alone in the McDonald's party room and they say, we had a party and nobody came. Give this photo a like to show him that he has friends? Because he fucking doesn't have friends. Yeah, my God. Yeah, I think we worked that out with the party. He's such a laugh, she said. He looks fabulous and I don't even want him to change or be put off having fun.

The school's having a competition for the best dress. It took him about 30 minutes to paint his face. So did he win? William's mum, who did not want to be named? Don't associate me with that fucking loser. Just keep my name out of this. That's killing me. Williams, I've already said William the one kid who dressed up as an umpulumper at Saladin Nook High School Huddersfield. But I don't want it getting out that it's my kid.

William's mum, who did not want to be named, said other pupils at the school dressed as Winston Churchill and the Queen of Hearts, but that no one else in William's form was as quote, done up as him. How are you dressing as Winston Churchill? Like what does that look like? And also I wanna see that kid so I can like bash him up. We're in a little suit? I don't know.

He's just a little kid wearing a suit? Yeah, shit. Little, little vest. He was so happy planning it all. He normally makes me drop him off quite far away from the school, but today he made me take him all the way down. Asked what she thought of the costume herself, she said. I think it is great.

He's always up for a laugh and he's always cheerful. Let's hope he wins for his efforts." Natasha is a photo of what appears to be this... He looks sad. It's a sad little boy in an the little up of his makeup. Waunt-Wot. Was he sad before he left for school though? You know? Yeah, or is he just posing sad for this picture? He must have been stoked about this. I would be. Just sad all the time this kid. Man, like, it was book day. Okay, because yeah, we got all this book week shit now.

Yeah. You kids have to dress up something from a book. And you can't even, you can't even bite in their faces anymore. It's a political corkness. You doing that Andrew? You're doing bookwag. Oh, yeah. I'm uh, sending my kids in as some of the characters from to kill Mockingbird. Um... Um... Oh boy. They still got those fucking little... The Commonwealth Bank reading pack things.

What are those? Dolomites? Is it still all Dolomites? No, now people are like, here's's an idea cut that out. I think I think I think I can't remember if they still try to do it at schools get kids investing in crypto. They absolutely fuck those kids over because they're like the I know we're all stating the obvious the only point of it is to get a kid on board as a customer of a bank.

By the time they are old enough to be an actual bank customer, you know. Did you guys see that shit this week from like racing Australia saying, oh we've given up on trying to get like people into schools to talk to them about horse racing? What? Did you see this shit? That doesn't sound good. Oh man. That doesn't sound good at all. That sounds like a dispatch from like 40 years ago.

Let me, uh... Let me uh... All right, here we go. Here we go. 52-year-old jockey smoking a cigarette in front of the kids. Kids want to learn about horse racing? This is from the Sydney Morning Errol this week. Racing boss says, woke parents keeping the sport out of schools.

What? I'm so woke up on my child. How else will they learn about whip and horses? How else are my kids going to learn how to place a proper parley, you know? Racing Victoria says it has given up trying to get into schools to promote the sport to kids with chief executive Giles Thompson pointing to quote, wokeism among reasons that parents keep rejecting racing from their schools. In announcing record half yearly turnover figures from July 1st to December 30th, 2021 on Tuesday, great news, thanks.

Thompson said he was confident racing had engaged the quote 20-somethings and 30-somethings, who were filling race tracks and punting on the sport. I like do you guys know anybody who like bets on horses and shit? No, I've absolutely done it in the past. Like you've had a little flutter have you? I've had a little flutter on the ponies. There's a certain kind of guy that loves horse race betting. That's a kind of guy. Absolutely and I am sure that there are more people than ever before with gambling problems because, like...

You can get it in a lap on your phone, put on a multi. Yeah, yeah, I think you should have to go down to the track and find a guy. Yeah, I think you should have to go down a tra tra tra trac. and find a guy named like Gracie Phil. Yeah, you have to live that life. You have to get down on dirty. Yeah, but instead, yeah, you just, you can have an app on your phone and you can go, oh, let me move some of my imaginary money into this imaginary money holder and put down some bets. Ah, it didn't work out, I'll just do another one.

It seems like incredibly easy. It also seems like the kind of thing where it would make it easier than ever before to conceal the behavior from other people in your life. Yeah, true. If it's just a little a little app on your phone, you know you don't need to go anywhere, you don't need to talk to anybody on the phone. You can have a little cheeky little flutter like on your lap sort of under the dinner table. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, no, I don't think we'll be able to go this year kind of cash for you. Oh, I'm just checking the score. Yeah, you know, Thompson admitted the industry had little luck trying to get into schools to promote all things good about racing. You know, uh, 95% of schools had knocked back racing Victoria initiatives such

as free educational incursions in schools, visits from horses or jockeys and excursions to racetracks. God that'd be so... I'm sorry. Oh my God, you can't do that. You can't do that. Like, come on man, like, there's a lot of arguments about a lot of different kinds of sports that I'm willing to entertain. But like, horse racing, dog racing, like these things are gambling. They are for gambling and that's fucking it. And that's for grown-ups. Do you think if they took betting out of it that anyone would be down there going, I hope my favorite dog wins.

I'm taking down a banner to cheer for my favorite dog? Name a single benefit from horse racing. Yeah, this is... Yeah, this... Well, I mean, like... All these dogs get to have a little run. All of the benefits that everybody will ever describe to you about horse racing or dog racing, basically all the same arguments that people make about, like poker machines.

Yeah. They're like, hey, we put money into the community.. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where's, where's, where's, where's, where's, where's, where's thi, thi, thi, thi's thi. thi. thi- thi-s from, thi-s, thi, thi, the, their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. the. the. thean. thean. thean. thean. theananananananananan. theananananananananan-s, thean. thean. thean. th make about like poker machines where they're like hey we put money into the community and it's like gee where's that money? Where's a gum from that you're putting into the? That you're putting in yeah who gave it to you? That's so funny quote it only takes one parent to object to the headmaster or headmistress okay that you're encouraging kids to gamble and that'll shut it down he said yeah Yeah it th they they they they they they they they they they they kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're th you th you're thi thi they're tho they. they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're that you're encouraging kids to gamble and that'll shut it down, he said. Yeah. Kind of are though, that's sort of the deal, that's sort of the thing you're doing though, right? It's kind of funny that he's sort of seguade seamlessly from we have successfully captured the market of 20-somethings and 30-somethings and have them feeling racetracks and gambling heaps, but we can't get into schools to deliver our non-gambling

related pitch for horse racing. That's so cool. It must be great to not be able to like hear yourself think. To have a thoughtthought just let it go on examines. Quote, when we could deliver education programs, I'm doing a big scare quote around the educational programs. It was wildly successful, but you couldn't get into the schools. 95% of schools would say, we're not interested. And you'd say, why not? And they'd'd say the parents won't put up with it. Why not? What do you mean why not? Winging parents? Ungrateful. Ungrateful? Ungrateful parents. Ungrate for parents. Just going down to the school and saying, hey, would you be interested in me putting on an educational course where I show all the kids my favorite R-rated movies?

No? Why not? Why can't I show your kids romp-stumper? Yeah. What about the benefit? Educational. He goes on to say, it's wokeism, if you like, in that it only takes one parent to kibosh it when 50 parents might be pro it.

Hmm. Is that what's happening? Is that what's going on, you reckon, mate? Or do you think- How do you think that ratio is- Do you think that's about spot-on? Any adjustments to be made there? Schools are very different to how they were like 30 years ago. You know? Yeah. They got peanut allergies in there. Yeah.

Yep. But Thompson said, Racing's challenge when it came to engaging children wasn't just gambling related. Quote, if you think about what puts a school off racing, it's the gambling, it's the breakdowns of horses. Horses breaking down in the Melbourne Cup is tragic for us in that environment and it's how we are perceived, he said.

Oh it's tragic, how it makes them look, because they look bad. It's a tragedy, not for the horses. You have to get shot in the head, yeah. It's more of a tragic vibe for people who are trying to get children to gamble. And I really like the, uh, the euphemism there. Horses breaking down. As in, yeah, they're just breaking down like passively. As in we are blowing this fucking horse's brains out behind. Eventually they're broken down to make gelatin which is a necessary

product. Where else you're going to get your horse glue from? That's right. He says, yeah I love this too. It's tragic for us in like the school environment. It's how we are perceived. Is that because you keep killing a bunch of horses on the field at highly publicized events? Yeah, no one thinks about how bad that seems for us. Man, we just want some more money, but horses keep dying. Can't I have, can't we link up your Dolomites account to a, to a today? Sports bet, eh.

I'm just loving the idea of going to a school and it's being like, hey little boy, put on a multi. What the fuck? What the fuck are they going to be teaching them about other than like, this is what a horse is? Oh, you guys are across that? All right, let's get into the bedding. Like the race exists for gambling. It doesn't exist in its own right. It's for gambling. Yeah. Nobody, nobody would fucking be interested in any of this. He says, that's a real challenge and it certainly can't be fixed overnight. I assume that's because they're not going to stop killing horses. Yeah, I don't think I plan to. He says, I've been royally criticized in recent years over the whip debate. Oh, whether you should whip horses with a whip. Yep.

Yep. Yeah, how'd we work? Where'd we land on that one, do you reckon? Yeah, they landed. Good, bad, we sort that out yet? Oh my god, here we go. I've been royally criticized in recent years over the whip debate. And it's a great example of how, on the one one hand racing wants to engage with a younger generation and a younger

demographic and it's about perception of the sport when it's that demographic, the 12-year-old, who doesn't understand why a horse has to be whipped in a race. Oh my God! They didn't say this, and said it's out loud. Who doesn't understand that the whip is padded and it doesn't hurt? It's the perception of it. Why hit him with it? Why don't you hit him with a cushion? Why don't you give him a little cull? Yeah. Why don't you say some affirmations into his ear as you lean forward, you know? If I was a jockey, I would just teach my horse to manifest a win.

Yeah. I think I would be a much better jockey. Are we putting a huge amount of effort into directly changing schools and committees of schools to allow us in? No, we're not. Are we aware, conscious of the challenges around equine welfare, both in reality and imperception? Absolutely we are. And we are invested in that space which can only help us. Okay? None of though your words are human. No. Talking about something as a space is a real tel. You've arrived from a different dimension. Um, and you're just trying to, to go unnoticed in it. It's a real tel.. You've arrived from a different dimension.

And you're just trying to go unnoticed in-hounce, but it's not working. It's not working, buddy. Half-yearly wagering turnover figures exceeded $5 billion for the first time in Victorian racing history. I'm sorry? Just in Victoria. Just in Victoria. It's probably worse in England. Up 5.4% on the same period in 2020. Of every $10 wagered on racing, $8.99 was done online. While digital wagering continues to take more and more market share from Readering, the closure of pubs and TAB outlets during late 2021 due to COVID-19 restrictions had an impact on those figures. Oh my goodness. That's

very funny to be like, kids just don't get why you got to beat the shit out of the animal. And we need to go into schools and carefully explain to them why we have to. My God, that's... Some people are just fucking ghouls, aren't they? Yeah, like, just soulless. There's nothing inside. God damn. But hey! Got a break's eggs to make an omelette?

Yeah, that's right. That's what the saying is. Hmm. Hmm. Yeah. Sometimes. I'll make an omelette without breaking a, shooting a few horses. Breaking a horse egg, you know? Sometimes, you're on the animal participating in a race, but sometimes you're participating in a race and then suddenly an animal is on you. And that's what's happening in another edition of... This is the one thing we didn't want to happen. This is from UPI News. Cyclists in quote stupidly hard California race attacked by rampaging bull. A California bike race built as quote stupidly hard, end quote, became even more difficult than organizers predicted when three riders were attacked by a rampaging bull. Yeah I figured that's gonna kind of put a

little damper on it. Yeah, put a little stick in the spokes so to speak. So before we get started in the story can we just touch real, we very infrequently touce the headlines that Ben writes just for himself in the notes. This one, the one thing we didn't want to happen, colon, cattle to the mattle. Now I looked up mattle and it doesn't mean anything. Well I assume that what he's what he's going for here. It's kind of like pedal to the metal. Petal to the metal. Yeah. Am I missing something? I need you to the notes? I. I. I. I the notes. I the notes. I the notes. I the notes. I the notes. I the notes. I the notes. I the notes. the notes. the notes. the notes. the notes. the notes. the notes. the notes. the notes. the notes. the notes. the notes. the notes. the notes. the notes. the notes. the notes. the notes. the notes. the notes. the notes. the notes. the notes. the notes. the notes. the notes. the notes. the notes. the notes. the notes. the notes. In. In. In. In. In. In. In. the notes. the notes. In. the notes. the notes. the notes. the notes. the notes. the notes. the notes. the notes. the notes. the notes. the notes. the notes. the notes. the notes. the notes. the notes. the notes. the notes. the notes. the notes. the notes. the notes. the notes. the notes. the notes. the notes. the notes. the notes. for here. Pedal to the metal. Pedal to the metal.

Yeah, I got, I, I'm missing something. I need you to trust me that I get that. Cattle to the, like the. He's had a hard week. He's had a hard week. Like he's just saying metal. Like he's from California. Oh, brunt. metal funny like he's from California so he's like oh bra cuddle to the muddle

okay cuddle to the metal okay that works I got it I think I've got it thanks Ben if you want to break in with a quick go for yourself this point and going here with a oh go for it I love you buddy thank you for the notes let's fucking see well on the first day it took me about three hours just to get back to my own home and I didn't know whether I'd be able to do it because of all the road closures. Um, and then the first thing that happened to me, before I got back to my own apartment was that I got around to the, uh, about 50 meters, theyrown, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, to, to, to, uh, to, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, th, thy, thi, thi.e, thr-a, thr-a, thr-a, thr-a, thr-a, to-a, th because it was about two and a half meters underwater and I'm standing there. I'm so desperate, and I'm so fucking terrified by everything that's happening and I'm so anxious. And then while I'm standing there, I noticed that one of his windows started to vibrate,

and all of a sudden one of my friends pops his fucking head out of a house, which is like completely surrounded by water, like something out of a fucking Miyazaki movie. And I have to, I take him in for the next two nights because he's got nowhere to live because his house is underwater, because he got fucking kayaked out shortly after I saw him there. That same night, a friend of mine who lives on a boat on the river, he also comes and stays with me because in the prior hours to him arriving at my front door, drenched through with no possessions whatsoever because he ran from the city to my place, is the boat that he lives on on the river got hit by a pontoon and then by another boat and I thought he had died. And then I spent a couple of days trying to take care of myself and these guys were without power. Also we were trapped in our suburb because of the flood the flood the flood the flood the flood, th, and th, and I th, th, and I th, the front th, and I th, and I thui, and I thui, and I thui, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thro, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, th th th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thran, thran, thran, thran, thran, thran, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, of days trying to, you know, take care of myself and these guys were without power. Also, we were trapped in our suburb because of the flood water.

And then when everything came back, you know, we're trying to get the bar working. I did a 12-hour shift yesterday, even though we didn't have power because we just want to get beer to people. Remi them that we've the fucking best that we can. I've got a beer festival that we've got to fucking do next weekend, and it's a beer festival that we put off by four months because of the fucking Omicron variant of the novel coronavirus and because of regular fucking Delta before that. So yeah, I thought cattle to the metal would be funny because it's like pedal to the metal but it's cattle.

And matter, yeah. Go fuck yourself. Ho-ha-ha-ha. A California bike race, three riders, ran a majoring bull. The Bianchi Rock Cobbler, an 80-mile off-road bike race through Bakersfield that's billed as a stupidly hard ride on its website was interrupted when a bull ran into the path of oncoming cyclists and attacked three of the riders. I saw a video of this and like one of the dudes on the bike just didn't really

twig to what was happening until the bull was just slamming into the side of him and I think he would probably have a bad time. Yeah plus I mean as a cyclist I think your one kind of tool in your arsenal is riding your bike. Getting further away from something yeah that's the only thing that you know if all you've got a hammer everything looks like know, if all you've got is a hammer, everything looks like a nail, if all you've got is a bicycle and two extremely rock-hard, weird-looking carves, I think you're just going to pump those calves until you're further away from the bull than you started off. Yeah. Quote, I am extremely sore.

End quote. Tony Indibitsen, a cyclist who was thrown into the air by the bull, told KMPH TV. I've never been this sore. Initially, right after the attack, my neck was killing me. That was the focal point of the sorrows, sawness. Now it's my lower back. Having just gone to the focal point of the saurace, now it's my lower back. Having just gone to the cinema and taken in the piece of artwork known as Jackass Forever, did you enjoy yourself?

Oh very much. I had a great time. I don't think I've ever been so happy since 2007. Have you ever cackled so loudly in a theatre? I can't remember the last time I was like laughing in a movie theater, you know..... the, the, the, the, th. the cinema, th. th. the thi, you, thi, the thi, the thi, thi, the the thi, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi, and thi, and the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the cinema, and the cinema, and the cinema, and the cinema, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, theeeateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateate of thi, and thi, and the the thi, and theled so loudly in a theater? I can't remember the last time I was like laughing in a movie theater like that, you know? Yeah. I couldn't tell if other people in the theater were as as vocally into it as I was because I couldn't hear them over me laughing. So yeah, everyone was gone hog wild in the cinema here. It was just, it was a wonderful time.

That's what it's all about, you know? And so Johnny Knoxville gets hit by a bull again in that movie. He does. He does a... He's too old for it. Oh man. White-haired, 50-year-old Johnny Knoxville getting hit by a bull and sent on like a full sort of 540 cartwheel.

Yeah. Completely unconscious comes to and he's broken his like wrist and his ribs and several other things. Apparently there were a series of, um, apparently there was a series of stunts that they were supposed to do after that point. And then they were like, no, he's like, no thank you. He won't be doing any more of it. It was towards the end of production where they're like, you kind of have to do the stuff that is most likely to fuck you up really bad at the end. Yeah. Yeah. And he's sort of one and done on getting hit by a bull, hey? Yeah, yeah, I think so.

Indabitson did not finish the race, but two other cyclists attacked by the bull were later able to cross the finish line and organize. So it's his problem. Oh, he's a quitter? Okay. Sounds like a quitter. My goodness. Sam Ames, rock cobbler's, quote, chief excitement officer. I'm glad that's in quotes. Does that mean he's the CEO, but he's like a fun CEO? Maybe. Or that's a... I bet that's also on his tinder profile. Hmm. I'm the boss and I take all the profits but I'm kind of fun. We have pizza Fridays. We got a foodball table.

Oh man, I saw an article about, um, I saw an article that was about like, you know how we have all these ones about bosses who can't get their employees to come back to work? Yeah, it's great. I love that. I love. I. I. I. I'm that. I'm that. I'm that. I'm that. I'm that. I'm that. I'm that. I'm that. I'm that. I'm kind that. that. that. that. that. that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho that that that that that was about like, you know how we have all these ones about bosses who can't get their employees to come back to work? Yeah, it's great. I love that. And this one had been posted with some commentary from our friend Ed Zittron. And he was talking about this article, it's in like the fucking Wall Street Journal or whatever it is. And this boss is saying, I don't get it. I don't know what I'm supposed to do because I've done all this stuff to the office to make it like really cool and really nice to come back to and everything. And the things that he had done were like, I think there were like a sports management agency or something like that.

And he had put in like a tunnel between like sort of coming into the office and and going into the, let me try and explain this probably. He'd put in like a tunnel where coming into the sort of entrance to the office out into the open plan office area so that his employees would feel like, the employees would feel like, there's the the employees would feel like, there., there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there there there there there there there were there were there were there there there there were there thee the there theeeeee the, the, the the the where it coming into the sort of entrance to the office out into the open plan office area so that his employees would feel like a pro-athlete coming like down the tunnel and out into the arena, you know? Oh my God, just pay me more money. Just give me more money. I mean another thing you might feel like is sort of like cattle being herded. Yeah.

But the nice thing about cattle being, yeah, cattle being heard is at the end, someone shoots you in the head with a, with one of those pneumatic pistols. Yeah, but here you just have to go to work. Yeah, it's much worse. Ah, but he had also, that's, that sucks, Andrew. He did some other stuff. That's not all, you know. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. theat. things. things. things. things. the. theat the That sucks, Andrew. He did some other stuff. That's not all. That's not all, you know? He also put a Formula One car in the office. You know, I mean like, you don't, you don't get to, you don't get to like drive the car or anything.

You know? But I guess what else you're supposed to do? This is from the Wall Street Journal. John Rower Day has done everything he can think of to make its company Chicago offers a place where workers want to be. As president of evolution, lower case R, upper case E, I hate that. A sports marketing firm, he's installed a scoreboard, bleachers, and a tunnel between the elevator and lobby to make his 100 employees feel like

athletes emerging from a locker room into an arena. So far, none of these things have any impact on like what you're expected to do for your job. They're all just things that are present peripherally. Yeah, yeah they're improving the room score in the centers if you will. Yeah and even that's debatable. To be honest like I think a lot of these sorts of things pre-pandemic are genuinely the kind of things that when you would go to interview and go into an office, you would be like, oh damn, they splash a bit of cash on making the place cool

and making it, you know, giving you some little amenities and stuff like that. It says to further entice your staff to come back, after many got comfortable doing the taaaaaaaaugh.......... tapapapapapapapapapapapape.. to. tho. tho. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. that. that. that. tho. tho. tho. that. that. that. their. their. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. they they they they they're they're they they're they're they they they the the their jobs from home during the pandemic. Mr. Rowday Stockton an office bar with free beer and bourbon for on-site happy hours. You know how you love to have a happy hour, but at work? As soon as there's like free alcohol at your work, you know that you're going to be in for one of the most toxic, horrible workplace experiences of your life. Yeah, because it's the combo of things. It means that they expect that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that that that that that that that that that that that that that their that that their that that the means that they expect you to be there late. That's true. And also that work is so unpleasant that that's the only way they can be like.

But you're happy here, right? Blowing off some steam. Well, I mean, hey, we didn't, we noticed you weren't at the happy hour the last couple of weeks. What's going on with that? I mean, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, I, like, like, like, I, I, like, I, I, like, the the the th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, their work, their work, their work, their work, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, work, work, their, work, work, their, work, work, their, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, their, work, their, work, work, that? I mean, like, I also think, I have always been a total, a total fucking square about this stuff, right? And I will happily acknowledge that. I have never had the relationship with work and workplace relationships with other people that I've seen a lot of other people have. That said, I have never been accused of sexually harassing anybody. I have never done something while drunk in a workplace or at a work function where I've been like, fuck, I need to like clip. Or yeah. Or like, you know, I can't show my fucking face.

I've never accidentally fucked somebody that I work with, you know, and just ruin my life or anything like that. I am of the mind that if you want to party with people from your work, you can just go to a fucking bar after work and do your thing. Yeah. I think that stocking your office with a whole bunch of booze sends extremely mixed messages about what is appropriate in the workplace because then, when people get fucking shit with a whole bunch of booze sends extremely mixed messages about what is appropriate in the workplace because then when people get fucking shit-faced at like 5 p.m. on a Friday and do some fucked up stuff in the office that your workplace is suddenly responsible for then they're gonna come down

anyway. It's called working in advertising, Andrew. It's just the way we do things. Do things a little different. Free beer, bourbon for onside happy hours. Then there's the full-size race car in the lobby. Again, you do not get to drive the... You can't drive it. A race car is not exciting when it's inside.

It is a race car that sits there and you can look at it and say wow a guy drove that. Nevertheless much of the team prefers to work remotely most days Mr. Alley said even if it means even if it means gazing at the family minivan in the driveway instead of a Formula One speed machine. Oh boy. Yeah. I'd way rather look at my own fucking house than something very expensive you put in the lobby of the building. Yeah.

Quote, it can be frustrating to really do everything you could possibly do. Try not to be overbearing, engage with your employees and then have to deal with situations where people still aren't comfortable coming back, he says. This cannot be real. I refuse to believe it. Like, it, it, I just don't fucking understand. Like, you're, what is it about that that

that is actually improving somebody's day-to-day experience of doing their job? Nothing. Yeah, like, the thing about working from home that has improved a lot of people's day-to-day experience is not having to sit on a fucking train for an hour each way every day, not having to get up two hours earlier than you need to in order to be at the office in time for work. Yeah. Like all that kind of shit, you know? Yeah, it's, but it's weird, right? Because they finally run into something that just makes people's

lives better at no cost to them. Yeah, people still work. They still do their work and their lives are better and they're happier. But they're getting it for free, right? People are getting it for free. And that's weird. That's weird that we've just been able to make our lives better and and we haven't had to give something up for it. Like it's just a simple trade to be like, hey, you don't have to spend two hours on public transport anymore every day. And the businesses are like, yeah, but what do we get out of it? Like, well, here's a thing. Fuck off.

I agree. Fuck off. Let me stay at home. I like it here. Let me become slowly agoraphobic. Yeah, like, who, who gives a shit if I'm not in, like, like, if I, like, like, like, like, like, if I'm not, like, if I'm not, I'm not, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, like, I, like, like, I, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, yeah, yeah, to, th. Yeah, but, but, but, but, but, yeah, but, but, but, but, but, yeah, but, but, yeah, yeah, but, but, but, yeah, but, yeah, yeah, th. Yeah, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, I, I, th. Yeah, I, I, th. Yeah, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, th. Yeah slowly agoraphobic. Yeah. That's my right. Who gives a shit if I'm not in, like, if I'm not dressed up? Because like, we worked out, none of that matters. It doesn't matter, don't matter, we worked it out. We tried it, we tried it for a while, and we went, yeah, this is fine. Crime pass up. No that that other thah thah that shit matters. Don't go to work. We just made all that shit up. It was all just made up. Yeah, you don't have to do it. Totally made up.

What is holding up the offer, the return to the office right now? Plenty of workers simply don't feel like it. They're dining at restaurants, going to movies and taking trips, but officers aren't on their itinerary. That is delivering a reality check for bosses. That is delivering. That is that is that is that is. That is delivering a reality check for bosses who've been hoping to plunge in COVID-19 cases meant workers would finally, finally come back. Big Banks like Goldman Sachs Group Incorporated and Jeffries Group LLC recently recalled much of their staff and tech giants like Microsoft and Meta, the parent company and Facebook are planning March returns for some employees. There are people eager to resurrect their office lives, losers, just as many business leaders have let go of the notion that

face-time five days a week is the optimal way to work. Nationwide however, office occupancy rates are hovering around one-third according to an estimate by Castle Systems which tracks building access cards wipes. Sure are employees like catered lunches, lounges filled with beanbag chairs and the masse who sets up in the conference room every other. I don't. Absolutely nobody actually enjoys that. No, I don't like any of that.

I like deciding what I have for lunch. I like warming up leftovers and they don't cost me anything. I like no strangers touching me ever at all in my lifetime. Hmm. Yeah, I really, I, it is fucking wild to me how much money it saves me. Not going to work in an office. I don't have to spend the money on petrol to drive my car. I don't have to pay for a fucking daily parking ticket. I don't have to like buy coffees or lunch or anything.

Like you said, the only money. Like I will buy coffees like two or three times a day work because I'm miserable because I'm unhappy so I'm not having a nice time. I don't have to do that at home. Well yeah like a lot of the time the reason you do that shit is so that you can leave the building for 15 minutes. Yeah because because because, because, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their they they they they they thi thi thi thiii-m, thiiii-missue they they they they they their their their the time the reason you do that shit is so that you can leave the building for 15 minutes. Yeah because it's nice to get out of the building. Quote, you're not going to get me on the train for two hours for free bagels, says Jason Alvarez, a 36-year-old software engineer who quit his job in New York in January when his former employer signaled an office return was imminent. Yeah, hell yeah. It isn't that Mr. Shored disliked his old boss or workplace, the father of two young children simply says he found something better. A remote job that allowed him to move his family to Puerto Rico,

where they plan to live for at least two years. Hell yeah. Fine. Yeah. There's a photo of this dude's new backyard in Puerto Rico. And it's just like, it's just fucking palm trees and a big, a big island. And he's a software developer, he can just do his shit from over there.

Yeah, well, yeah, there's a, looks great. The thing that drives me fucking nuts about that sort of stuff, like doing, you know, genuine sort of computer work is the so much of the time you would go into the office and sit there and not fucking talk to anyone all day anyway yeah yeah especially for social software development like the less interaction I have with anybody the more productive I am and I've got to like get in there and there's music playing on the radio and I kind of put my headphones on and try and like put it out loud so it blocks

and people like come in and say, hey morning, how are you going? I'm like, yeah, I'm like, yeah, and I'm like, yeah, nodding at them and they're just like hanging around. Then you got to take my headphones off. How's your weekend? their, I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll try on, I'll th. I'll try on, I'll try on, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, kind kind kind try, try, try, I'm kind kind kind try, hey? Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, it was good. It was good. It was good. It was good. I would constantly be like. I'm like motioning to put my headphones back on. Trying to work out socially, like, the cues as to whether the conversation had ended and I can try and like regain my train of thought. The actually the thing that did it for me, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, to, to, to, too, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, were, thi, thi, thi, the thing that did it for me, I think, was that my previous employer, like, they

hired me because they wanted somebody in the city that I live in, right? There was very distributed workplace officers in lots of major cities and stuff like that. But my days in that job were that I would go in and sit with a group of people who I had almost no overlap with in terms of actual work. And then multiple times a day I would go into a room and get onto a screen to do teleconferences with my actual team members who all lived in different states. And that is seen as and positioned as and all that sort of stuff as being like a flexible workplace that is like you know that's

fucking agile and we can have people living wherever and working from wherever and all that sort of stuff. The problem is that once you have established that as how your workplace works, and then the rug gets pulled of, oh, no one can be in the office, and it turns out it's exactly the fucking same. Yeah. I'm having just the same amount of meetings with people I'm not in the same room as, which is all of them.

Then it's like, when they start talking about going back it's like why? Drag my ass into the fucking office and then sit there talking to people on a screen. Makes no difference. And everyone's just gone. Yeah you know what? No thanks. I would also know. It's going to be a hot pass from me. In in both the jobs that I have had since the pandemic, in both of them my direct manager has just been like, oh they're talking about people coming back in the office, but fuck that, I'm not into it. So no support at all from management for the concept of making people go back in. It's very funny. It's very funny stuff. Folks, don't go into the office.

Don't do it. Avoid it as much as possible. Quit your job. They can't make us all go in. Just quit your job and then six months later they will ask you to freelance for them and you can ask for double the wage. That's my advice. If you work in the very specific same industry as me. But probably not anymore because Lucy's doing that job. Probably. I've got that job. You'll have to find your own job that you can quit and then get paid more to freelance fun.

That's right. That's my advice. Yep. Well, that is your weekly bonus episode of advice. Hope it's been worthwhile to you? Yeah. Go home and put the cattle to the metal. Brah?

Put the cattle to the mattle. Brah? It's gonna catch on. It is. It's totally going to catch on. Lucy. Do you remember who was at the 2006 Taste of Chaos Festival? I believe I was, well the one, there was, I think there was a couple of different ones, it was one with a headliner of the used, second headliner 30 seconds to Mars.

Might have been 2007. Oh, I think, yeah, I'm looking at the, I'm looking at the 2006 one. Yeah, is this important? Is this important info before we close out? No. Parkway drive, taking back Sunday. You can flag. Oh! That's a place. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye bye.