Boonta Vista - UNLOCKED BONUS EPISODE: C'est La Yeet

Episode Date: April 16, 2020

We're unlocking our bonus episodes for the indefinite time period in which people are self-quarantining, because when all you have is a podcast, everything looks like a problem you solve with podcast episodes. Enjoy! *** Andrew, Theo and Ben take a trip to the beautiful, disgusting streets of Paris to talk about what happens when your grandpa ejects himself from a fighter jet and how Sunny Coast vets are saving the world from COVID-19, one laser at a time. *** Support our show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista *** Email the show at [e-mail]! Call in and leave us a question or a message on 1800-317-515 to be answered on the show! *** Twitter: twitter.com/boontavista Website: boontavista.com Merchandise: boontavista.com/merchandise Twitch: twitch.tv/boontavista

Oh, ho-ho! Oh man. Bonjou! Welcome to the Riviera. Uh, we are here eating the baget. Many other French food. Ben, could you name some French food, please? Rattaturi! Oh ho-hoh!

Cigarettes! A red wine that has oxidized! Oh, muh! Cheese I found on my body somewhere. It is delicious. Food is life. Oh. Truly anyone can cook. You simply combine the cigarette with your wine,

and you have transforms him from a smokerable and a drink into a delicious dessert soup. It's that easy. Then I drink a single pint of cream. I took the dirty oil from my moped, and I poured it into my coffee. It is delicious. Oh. Oh, that is the American. Oh, oh. Bonjou, tie-o.

Bonjou, my English, not so good. I am, how you say, honey little trod, who needs to be a step-on. Am I saying this right? Oh, you're saying you are a pervert? Or perhaps like a little rat, but with his penis and balls out. Oh, we is a rodent penal, it is you. Oh, oh.

Oh. Oh. Very well. I love to be here in France. Party. City of Kahn. It is a filthyest city in the world. It is a filthiest city in the world, but not just because of the quality of the streets,

the people are disgust. The streets, they flow freely with urine, both sexual and otherwise. You really got to distinguish between sexual urine and the rest of the urine. Anyone that's lived in Paris for more than five years can tell by sight they don't even need the smell to know the difference. Shockingly it's the color. Reflex the light differently. What of sexual urine we were just talking about cum.

It's just weird, talking about come. It's just weird. This stuff's white. Welcome Woodivista. This is a political podcast I believe. Original Anatomical Mysteries. They all come down at the same hole. Oh, maybe on your buddy. The classic man's Cloaker. It works out of a cloaker? It's just for us guys. The broaker. Oh, yes. That's him.

Sacrable. Manjuro, is there a reason that we're lovingly setting the scene of France and its territories? Yes. We're here in France, uh, because it's my father's birthday. And we've taken him on a trip flagrantly breaking quarantine rules. On a river cruise. We were paid 600 euros each to fly on a plane. They can't get you on a plane these folks. They would love to. It would love to get fly on a plane. They can't get you on a plane these days folks

they would love to. I would love to get you on a plane but they can't. And we've brought my dad over here and said hey dad how would you like to have a flight on a plane and he said oh oh oh oh became French immediately on arriving in France. That's Paris syndrome that's what it does. He said, uh, fly to Paris, aren't you afraid of catching a disease? And you said, uh, the coronavirus is over and he said, what coronavirus? Oh, now, of course we came here to talk about the story that has caught our imaginations. The world's imaginations, I would say. I dare say this is the story that has caught our imaginations. That everybody was. The world's imaginations, I would say. I dare say this is the spiritual successor to the spinning-granting.

I immediately thought that. The moment I saw the story, I was just like an image, a perfect image of the spinning granning entered my mind. Oh, I thought you were talking about coronavirus in the abstract. Oh, I tho, the story is good too. So, we all remember spinning granny, right? So lady who got rescued by rescued. Rescued is, mildly rescued. Some would say the punishment, the rescue is worse than the other thing.

The, the cure can't be worse than the sprained ankle or whatever this old lady had. She got rescued by a chopper. They picked her up and then the rope that was going down to the stretcher that she was on. It just all started spinning and it started go faster and faster, and faster. It frankly looked like a nightmare to me. It's one of those videos where you're watching it and you're like, oh wow, I guess that is pretty bad. She's spinning pretty, oh, oh, it's going pretty, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, no.

It's just kind of speeding up the whole time. Do you think they're aware? They're going like, do you think we can stop that? Put lower her back on the ground and hope the friction of spinning in the dirt will slowly solve the problem? Yeah, then you just lift off again. No, that's that's horrifying to me. I do not like, I feel like something happens to like my inner ear or something many years ago, because I do not care for spinning type things anymore. List some examples of spinning type things for us. Mainly shit that your kids want to do.

Yeah, no, I'm picking up what you're putting down. You kids want to be spun around like an airplane. They want to go on a thing on a playground that spins around circles. Kids love to be forced to vomit. They want their their th, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you th, you th, th, th, th, th, th th th th th th th th th th th th th tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. I th. I th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. I th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thin, to to to to to to to to to to too-s too-s too-s tipea, tipea, tipea, tipe tipe, that spins around circles. Kids love to be forced to vomit. They want to um... And they'll do it on my own most of the time. I know. You go to your kids' school fate and they've helpfully rented a tea cup ride.

But kids who are like four car get on them themselves and someone has to go on with them. And they're like, them. they're they're they're they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're they're they're like, they're they're they're like, they're they're they're they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll do it on they'll do it on they'll do it on they'll do it on they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho thoo thoo thoo thooo their tho their their their own. They'll their their with them. And they're like, is your little child going to be all right on this ride? And I'm like, them? Probably. And it goes for several minutes and by the end of it, I'm just, eyes closed, going, it goes way too long, by the way. I put that out there, every spinning ride could be cut down by a factor of four. Absolutely. No, my kids were 11,that she getting whipped around and I went on I went on the little tiny kids one, cram myself into a teacup, was on there for like fucking two minutes and came off going, uh, just spitting on the ground in front of all the kids.

Hate it. So I sympathize with the spinning granny. I watched that shit and was like, wow. She's really, really going for it. You would probably get to the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. thi. thi. th. th. thi, thi, thin'. thin'. th. th. th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, tine, tine, tine, tine, tine, tine, tine, tine, tine, tine, tine, t. I, t. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, thin, thin, thin, thin, te. I'm, tffa. I'm, tfa'. tfa' tfa'e. tfa'e. tfa' tiny, tiny tiny tiny tiny to that state that is described by like elite gymnasts? Have you guys ever seen footage of like Simone Biles doing doing like floor routines? No. I'm waiting for the theaters. I haven't seen it. I have seen it. Really? Yeah, absolutely. She's wild. She is absolutely

incredible. She's, um, I read this, I read this interesting long read about Simone Biles recently, which was a big explainer of the history of like scoring in gymnastics. So how they, how they sort of do all of the scoring of routines. and it used to be a thing where it was like Like the ice skating thing of sort of here's a Here's a maximum score you can reach Based on the difficulty of the maneuvers you're you're trying to do and any mistakes that you do sort of just take away from that total and then at some point They changed the scoring to be like well the theer, tri-the thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi theeateat the. the the their their the. the their their the. the. the. the. the. the. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeea. thea. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. thea. thea. the scoring to be like, well, theoretically, you could make the tricks more and more complicated and difficult to achieve, and the score you can get would be higher and higher.

So there's kind of no limit on how high you can score now. And so Simone Biles started doing tricks at like every meeting, not even the Olympic ones that like nobody in human history had ever done before. And of course all the European countries got super racist about it. Oh good. Yeah, they immediately turned it into the, into like, oh, all this highlying gold chains and slam dunks. That's not how we do gymnastics. Oh no.

Immediately turned into that sort of thing. Isn't this exactly what happened in figure skating that like one of the first women to do a triple axle was black and everyone was just like. We don't like that one. We don't like that one now. That moves bad. It's very coarse. it's very vulgar. You know, like, they're like, oh, this is, this is meant to be about grace, not about power.

And it's the same thing every fucking time. So it's very funny to see like, um, Eastern European gymnastics teams get really, really, fucking up over it. But anyway, in the course of this thing, she's, she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she's th. She she's th. She's th. She's th. She's th. She's th. She's th. She's th. th. th. th. thi. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that. that. that. that. that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's that's th. th. th. th. that's that's that's th. th. that's that's that's the. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th She's talking about what it's like when you're actually in the midst of doing like a full triple flip in the air with like several spins kind of thing and she's like oh no you have no idea where you are which way is up you can't see anything everything everything is just one gigantic blur the entire time. And I imagine that's what the spinning granny felt like. Now we had spinning granny. Now we have incredibly distressed granddad. Probably like outside of a war zone the most stressed a granddad has ever been. I struggle to imagine a more distressing scenario.

Now before we get into this, before we get into this, we need to make clear. We normally have a segment entitled Plainly Speaking for when we're talking about plain stuff. But we also have another segment called the last thing, this is the one thing we didn't want to happen for when they really didn't want a thing to happen. Now we have an issue here which is that this clearly fits into both these categories. Theos hopefully fix this problem for us. This is your captain speaking. Please return your seats for their upright positions as we are coming in hot on another addition.

This is the one thing we didn't want to happen. Seemless, perfect. Seemless, yeah, beautiful. Simply both segments. This is the one thing we plainly didn't want to happen. It's both at once, but you're still paying the same price, which is zero dollars. That's great value. Two for none. Incredible value. Two for none. Oh, so this is the tale of a 64-year-old Frenchman who went on a company outing to an airbase. And he got surprised by the employees at his firm.

They took him out there and then they revealed that they had organized one of those psycho joyrides in a dussault Raphael B. jet for him as a treat. You guys love a treat. Ben, what's your idea of a treat? Um, if I am like really high and George gives me a scalp massage. Oh that is good. That is good. Theo, what I say would you like a treat? What kind of comes to mind? All of the things that Tom York describes in the song no surprises but unironically. Okay. Yeah, no, apparently what they thought for this guy was that they would stick him in a jet used by the French Air Force which has a maximum speed of about 1,400 kilometers per hour, which is about 870 miles per hour,

which is about 870 miles per hour if you are predisposed towards the stupid way of measuring things. So they were like this will be a nice treat for this guy turns out is absolutely terrified of flying I guess. I suppose so. I mean I don't even know if terrified of flying would necessarily come into this. I think terrified of going up in a fighter jet that's doing a training exercise is a different fear. Yeah, I think so. It's like, you know how they do those like hot laps in a V8 supercar or, like on TV shows

sometimes they'll stick Jeremy, whatever the fuck his name is Clarkson from Top Gear in like a rally car. And the rally car goes around like unsealed dirt roads with trees on all sides, over 100 kilometers an hour kind of thing sideways. Being perturbed by that doesn't mean you're scared of going in a car. It's a different thing. Hmm, absolutely. It's kind of a different thing. So they took him out to the Salt Dizier Air Base from Northeas France. Which is Saint Botox I think. And when he realized what was going on he started to get very stressed out according to a

quote fairly remarkable aviation accident report by a French government agency. I spent a good amount of time this afternoon just translating chunks of the report into English and every single one of them was a delight. Truly astonishing stuff. Had no previous military aviation experience and had never expressed any desire to fly in a fighter jet investigators discovered. So thanks to a watch the the the the the the the the that the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the jet investigators discovered. So thanks to a watch that he was wearing that could measure his heart rate. I assume I assume this would be like a Fitbit or an

Apple watch or something would have recorded this. Yeah, kind of the French version where they put black face on the screen. The feet beat. So thanks to his watch which measured his heart rates, investigators, noticed that quote his heart was in full tacky cardia before the flight with a recorded heart rate ranging from 136 to 142 beats per minute. I assume that this is exactly what happens to you if you're at a cafe or whatever and you assume they've completely forgotten your order and you try and decide whether it's rude

to remind them, but then whether it's embarrassing if they, you just stay there forever. That's about where your heart rates out. All right, so I was gonna make a joke about something else, but then the scenario that you were describing ended up being legitimately stressful. Oh no, I am I going to be a prick? But then what if they just see me sitting there like a weird guy? Ah. It's safer to leave. Yeah, you just lay down and die.

Yeah, sorry. I had a thing, a childbirth to go to or something. What are my most intensely anxiety-inducing memories is being like, I don't know, my mid-20s maybe, in Melbourne on a trip and like seeing like a nice cafe and being like, oh I'll go there that'll be cool and then like try to pull the door, try to turn the handle, couldn't seem to get it to work and it was clearly like the cafe was open it was full of people having their breakfast and then everyone was just like jingling the door I got th I I I I th. I th. I th. I th th th th th th th that's that's that's thatting is thatting is thatting is thatting thatting try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try trying try trying try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that that that that that that that that that that that thin the the the the the try to to to try to try to try try try try try try try try t so embarrassed I just turned to walk away. Oh that's the pro move though. Oh it felt awful I've like I assume there's still 30 to 40 Melbourneites out there being like

remember that guy and he's visibly a Queenslander you went full midfail school for the gifted. Yep yes a deep cut but you were not able to do the I think you should leave door tearing maneuver. I should have in that moment I should have just pushed through and been like give me a parking amortost you can some here. Didn't do it. My goodness. So those things sound kind of stressful. But instead of this guy, despite his heart attempting to tear through his ribs and the skin of his chest and escape his body. Went through the training th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I moment moment moment moment moment moment th. I the th. th. the th. th. the th. that. I moment that. I that. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the th. I th. I the the th. I th. I th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. th. th. th. th. thi. the. the. the. theeat theat theat theat theat theeat thin, the. the theat the the the. I'm th the skin of his chest and escape his body, went through with it anyway, joining a three plane training exercise, a three train plaining exercise, imagine that. What would that look like? So there's three trains,

they all have some type of sharpened blade attached to the side of them, and you have to stand next to the edge of the track, very steadily holding a large th th th th th th the the the the the the the the the of thee the of the the the the the the the the the the the thrane thrane thrauui the their thra' thra' thra' thraned any any any any any any any any any any any any any any thran. A thrane thrane anyway anyway anyway anyway anyway anyway anyway anyway anyway anyway anyway thrane thrane the the the thin the the the of the of the of th. the of the, the, the, the, the the, the, the, the, thr--au. thrau. teann. teann'eateateateateateateateateau. trau. train, train, thrau. Weau. th the side of them, and you have to stand next to the edge of the track, very steadily holding a large piece of unfinished lumber, as they go past. And ideally, you hold it still enough that can shave the lumber smooth, but it is only an exercise. You're not going to use that wood for anything. Ah, well, there you go. That's certainly one of the meanings of the word plating.

Yeah. So, once the jet got two and a half thousand feet above ground, he immediately freaked the fuck out. I think it's safe to say he was already freaking out, right? He double freaked. This is like, his panic crested the wave. He went into Freak Out Plus. Fell off the edge of this wave into a big whirlpool of panic. Absolutely.

Lost grip on reality and reached out for a grip on something else. And instead, accidentally grabbed the ejector seat button and shot himself right the fuck out of that plane. Not even like a not even like halfway up in the climb. Oh and being the pilot. Just, hey, hey you're ready buddy buddy. Buddy. You just got a drooling. It was, and it was probably in bad taste that the pilot war is, if you can read this, the bitch fell off to the shirt on that day.

So I assume, apparently he didn't have his helmet on properly and immediately just flew off. Oh, God. It's the details that really make this shine. Like, there's no reason for us to have had a readout of his heart rate or for the image of him just like helmetless. Just staring around at Abject Terror. Screaming in this seat. Oh, Sacrevel. This is terrible.

I don't know if this one's got it in it, but I did see in a different report that at the time when he ejected, the plane was traveling 500 kilometers per hour. Holy shit. He's just being like yeated into the sky, like full force of the air on him. Which is like a third of this thing's top speed. Mm-hmm. That's too fast. Oh. This is also a very good line for this report. So he avoided injury due to the chair having its own parachute, which is nice.

Investigators concluded that the error was caused by an involuntary reflex. Thank you, prompted by stress. The pilot was not ejected and managed to land the plane safely despite suffering some minor facial injuries during the ordeal. So the pilot had to land that jet without cockpit glass on? Yeah, going 500 kilometers an hour. Which is insane. That seems so insane. Well Arnold did it in true lies. Although that's kind of a false equivalence because it was a Harrier jump jet so you could just come down vertically, you know? I was like a V-TOL situation. Yeah, yeah.

All the glass was blown out of it though by the terrorist with his AK, you know, show a little glass out. But then that guy got fired. Wink, wink, wink, wink, wink. God, that's a good movie. This has been the True Lue lies recap section of the true lies update. Oh, just watched it again the other night and it was like, damn, isn't it wild to think that the man who made this and Terminator 2

will never make a movie again for the rest of his life that is not about some fucking horny blue environmentalist aliens. That is weird. It is. So I like that the French pilot got minor facial injuries, I'm assuming from the glass blasting off and maybe hitting him. But it did do it without decapitating him. So these planes have one up on the old F-35. That's true. I've got that. Yeah. I do like that, uh, the, that the line where, so this is the, I'm using the story here from CNN instead of the one from the Guardian because this one put in a few bits of you know personal touches. They told the

story with some flair. There's a bit here where they're like, fortunately the man avoided serious injury, which to me is something I have definitely been guilty of in the past when you're like, you have a story that's quite funny where someone ends up injured. And so instead of being like... A funny story about a hugely traumatic incident. Yeah, right. So you can say, like we don't know what actually happened to him based what we've got here, but avoided serious injury means minor injuries definitely happened. Some injury. They've just not listed what they are. You might you. You you. You you. You you. You you. You you. You you. You you. You you. You you. You have like, you. You have like, you have like, you have like, you have, you have, you have, you have, you have, you have, you have, you have, you have, you have, you have, you have, you have, you have, you have, you have, you have, you have, you have, you have, you have, you have, you have, you have, you have, you have, you have th, you have th, you have th. You. You. You. You. You have th. You. You have th. You have th. You have th. You have th. You have th. You have th. You have, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th. You've, like, th. You have, like, th. You have,'ve got here, but avoided serious injury means minor injuries definitely happened. They've just not listed what they are. He might have broken a leg or something and they've just been like, well that'll ruin the flow of that. He'll

end it directly on his penis. Really jarred that thing. It's one of a few people to have his glens burst out of his butt hole, but he's fine he gets to walk in a stable condition also are they saying the cover that he said so they saying in this diagram this helpful French diagram right could you describe this is a wonderful diagram this diagram for the listener either of you all right so we've got the we've got the plane and it shows the plane and a bunch of points along its path Kind of with a with the Google maps behind it At each point it's got the

G force that Granddad would have been experiencing The highest of which is 3.7 G's directly down into the seat so that's that'sdad would have been experiencing, the highest of which is 3.7 G's directly down into the seat, so that's a fun thing to think about. The point where he ejected is indicated with a little arrow going to a bubble which says ejection. Ejection. Just in case that's not clear, at the bottom of the image, sort of the the the the the the image, sort of the the the the the the the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, theate, theat, theat, so theat, so the, so the, the, so the, so the, so the, so the, so the, so the, so the, so the, so the, so the, so the, so the, so the, so the, so the, so the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the the the the thee the the the the the thee the the the the thee thee thee thee thee case that's not clear, at the bottom of the image, sort of lining up with the points, they have a section which is avo ejection and apray ejection. Apoire ejection. And also the parts, a pre, ejection, colored red.

Because that's the bad time. Something's gone wrong. Or the worst time, because all of this is the bad time for him. And if- Like, yeah, before the plane, very bad. Getting into the plane, very bad. The plane taxiing around on the runway just before it's going to take off. Imagine what his heart rate would have been then. Good God.

I think the G's on the image really paint a picture though, because the point where he ejects is the point where the plane goes from 2Gs, which is directly down in the seat, to almost negative 1G directly up. So if you imagine him just floating out of his seat, because he hasn't been properly strapped down, his helmet kind of floating off of his head, because they didn't bother to strap that down either, and him just like, fucking, what do I, what am I grabbing on to? What's going to save my life here? And grabbing the wrong thing. Beautiful. Would either of you like to have a crack and pronouncing the name of the Bureau from which that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that that that that that that that that the, the, the, the, the, the, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the is the theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeateeeeeateeeeateeateeate is the the is the, crack and pronouncing the name of the Bureau from which that image was provided? Okay, so this image just comes courtesy of Bureau

on Quay Accident for the Security of the Aeronautic de Tata. Oh, that was beautiful. What a gift you have. Oh. So I had a little bit of a peruse of the document, just taking things where I'm like, that kind of looks like an English word that I think is funny. My favorite sentence, Google translated, thank you, Google, is in the subsection about social pressure put on the man, which explains how the incident happened,

where they say the social pressure of the company represented by a significant number of colleagues present, in particular a former army pilot for the base prevented any refusal. He was peer pressured into it and now that's a problem for the French military. It's funny, I'm trying to remember the context I was thinking about this in the other day, but just the whole thing with different Asian cultures of the concept of face, you know? Like uh, and the fact he's got to rock up to work on Monday, I assume. Maybe. He probably can't, it depends on what's in hospital for, doesn't it? That's right.

But, uh, but yeah, depending on the culture of the place you're at, uh, if your boss says to you, hey, I'm going to keep buying you these glasses of whiskey that you don't like and you have the the th th th th th guess, th, th, I guess, I guess, I guess, I guess, I guess, I guess, I guess, I guess, I guess, I guess, I guess, I guess, I guess, I guess, I guess, I guess, I guess, I guess, I guess, I guess, keep buying you these glasses of whiskey that you don't like, and you have to drink them all, and you're like, guess I have to drink them all because I also have to just hang out with my boss after work in my own time, who I don't really like that much. You know, it's, it's a heck of a thing. And also being dragged to work with like heaps of people being there. We all did this for you, it's all for you, Damien.

And that there's a dude, like is the suggestion here a former army pilot from the base? Is the suggestion that that person was the person who was running the joyride thing? I think that might have been a person that arranged it. Yeah. And it's like, I used to be a pilot. He'll love this shit. Yeah, because the real man would. This is not like a, from what I can tell, it's not like a fun thing you do where you go, oh yeah, we'll just pay for him to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the to to the the to the thua, to thua, thua, thua, thi, thi, thi, that, that, that, that, thi, the their, thi, thi, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi, the thi, thi, thi, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, that, that, that, that, that, theea, that, that, that, that, or, or, or, thi, or thi, thi, thi, you go, oh yeah we'll just pay for him to go in a fighter jet. They like pulled some strings to do it like the demonstration itself is being investigated

by the French military. There's also one, so the wording in the CNN story did not make this clear when it says that the pilot was not also ejected. What they didn't make clear is that the reason the pilot wasn't ejected automatically where the other person ejected was because of a malfunction in the plane. Whoops. He was not meant to still be the aircraft. So if this had all gone the way that it should have, well he probably wouldn't have gotten the plane in the first place, but the guy would have pulled the ejection handle, both of them would have gone out,

and then a plane that is worth, I assume, $20 billion would have been fun. My goodness. That's wonderful, isn't it? Life truly is beautiful. Life a true mystery. Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh. Oh.

Sorry, there's one more detail here that I'm getting the Guardian. I should have stuck with the Guardian. Uh, the air accident report detail here that I'm getting the Guardian article is way better. I should have stuck with the Guardian. The year accident report published on 6 April found the man ejected himself when the two-seater, I'm not trying to pronounce that, a jet reached about 1,300 feet seconds after setting out from the air pace. So it took off and he was just like, what? I'm a'm out. I'm head out.

Done. Oh, well, I guess that explains why this pixelated bit of Google Maps they included for that diagram has the runway. He was, they were still above the runway. It's still 500 kilometers an hour above the runway. Just grasping for anything in the cockpit and accidentally shooting yourself out. Because I think it's safe to say, as much as he clearly didn't want to be there, and wasn't having a good time,

he probably also really didn't enjoy being fired right out of that plane. No, I think probably at the time he was at an ends to try to work out what he hated more. Although on reflection it's probably the, it's probably the ejection. What do you reckon like the aftermath of this is like it's a fun story? Like he comes back to work and he's like you guys or he just never comes back to work and he's like, you guys or he just never comes back to work? I think, I don't know, is somebody getting sued? Like, it's just hard to say. Hmm. Very curious, I would like a follow-up very much. France, the land of whimsy. But enough about that silly, silly shit.

It's time to to talk about something serious. That's right. Science. Uh-huh. You guys love science? I fucking love science. Well, it's time for science watch. Uh-huh. I can use that stinger in a little while.

Feels good. It's a little while. It feels good. It's a good one. So, um, or is this nature corner? Oh, I've fucked it up. I think it's like... We should have done a hybrid theme. I'm running it back. Hey, we can work on a hybrid theme if you want Theo.

I'm gonna say, I'm gonna retroactively make this a nature corner for two reasons number one you gotta love playing the nature corner theme and number two this is a tale of a vet a vet who technically should probably be doing something with animals but we will be talking about what he is doing instead. Robocrat, Sit 20. Don't want to rob our beautiful listeners of the nature corner theme. It's a great theme. So this comes to us via university journalism website The Junction, or if we were still in French, Le Genscheon.

Yeah, Ben, you want to weigh in on that? No, that sounded right. That souricricric. or if we were still in French, Le Genscheon. Yeah, Ben, you want to weigh in on that? No, that sounded right. That sounded correct. So it was by USC student Liam Bland. Thank you, Liam. For writing it so that we could read it and go, what? Just to be clear, this is the University of Sunshine Coast, not the University of Southern California. Oh, so the real USC? The real USC, the first one, I believe they did the other one, like second.

It's like a sub-central. It's like Big Brother UK or... No, Big Brother UK was the first one, wasn't it? Doesn't matter. The point is, sunshine coast. Now first, we really do have to give Liam some credit for the headline here, although it's very possible that that was an editor who came up with the headline, VETS COVID-19 Cure Claims Put Down. As like veterinary puns go, incredibly dark. Well it's a dark story. It's true. Let's be real. So, just reading here from Liam's story, experts are skeptical.

That's a really polite way to start this story. Experts are skeptical of claims made by a Coulomb vet, who says he has created a cure and diagnosis for coronavirus. Now Liam's written a great article but I'm got to take issue with the first sentence because the vet is actually Maple Street vet clinic is in Coroy which is where I used to go for my summer holidays. All the way down to Lake McDonald. Beautiful Lake McDonald. Well Liam we're gonna have to take it up with you after the show, I guess. Yeah, I'll let him know.

Maple Street vet clinic owner, Dr. Gary Bright says he has developed a modified laser pointer that can identify if someone has COVID-19. Hmm. My, and my initial reaction is, no he hasn't. But as we find out, there's actually a lot, a lot of science behind it. It's a lot of science. And if you fucking loved science,

like this vet clearly does, which we do. Uh, you would know. Nothing makes me happier than seeing a, uh, I fucking love science Facebook post that says, it's so fucking win an epic that Tartegraids exist. You just, you really feel in that kind of post. So, now look, you may be saying to yourself, it's pretty impressive that a man has modified a laser pointer in order to analyze and treat coronavirus.

But how would you feel if I said not only did he do that, but he's also made an app that can treat coronavirus among other ailments? And this man's a veterinarian, just to restating that for the record. Which I believe means that he would normally be, I guess, sort of poking around at the sort of midsection of a dog. Maybe, you know, maybe checking out to see if a chicken has a broken wing. Some of that kind of thing, you know. One of my friends last night just took both of her out to see if a chicken has a broken wing. Some of that kind of thing, you know? One of my friends last night just took both of her rats to a vet hospital. Which, I mean, obviously, it's not a lot of fun for her.

This is very traumatizing because she loves her rats very much. But also it's just not something that I had considered could happen. Her rats were having seizures. Yeah. Now, I don't think we've talked about this on the show, but unfortunately, a somebody's dog that was off its lead ran into our backyard the other day and killed three of our four chickens. We now have one very lonely chicken sitting down there by herself. She just sits in the little coop and then sometimes she sits down on

the ground. Not really doing much at the moment. Poor little thing. So that was pretty upsetting. You know they are they are our pets as well as little egg makers. They're weird little units. They're weird little units. They're weird little units, not the most productive layers in the world, those girls, but we all sat them because we liked them. I like to go down there and give them scraps and, you know, give them a little cuddle, all that kind of thing. And so this dog got in, I, working from home, like anybody who can is doing at the moment I had a big squawk from the chook pan and I looked out the window and it was a big fucking Samoyed in the end there like it had crashed through the fence and had one of the chickens in his mouth and I went

Buah and got up and sprinted out to the backyard and in the time it took me to get from my seat down to the chicken coop it had already killed that one that one that one that one that one th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the. the the the the. I the the the the the the the the the the the. I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thooke. the. I took took took took took took took took took took took took took took took took took took took took took took took took toooo'cook to the backyard and in the time it took me to get from my seat down to the chicken coop it had already killed that one and dropped it and bitten another one and shaking it around and was then like all the way into the chicken coop shoving its head into their box we've got the same model of coop as you Theo so shoving its head into the little box where they're in snapping at him. So I've been like, hey, get out of there. Because I don't know if anybody's had this experience, but I was like, huh, you've just killed several animals.

I don't feel that great about reaching and trying to grab you. A large dog, you know? But the dog just looked at me like, hi. So, you know, I managed to get it out of there. And, whole thing. But anyway, we took, we took one of the chooks, Elna took one of the small chooks down to the vet, because it was looking very, very poorly. She got it down there and it died very shortly afterwards at the vet.

But while she was down there, I looked in the coop at the other two chickens and went, are you okay? And one of them was looking very wobbly. And I kind of picked it up and put it back down, it just fell over on its side. So it like a broken leg or something. This dog had obviously bitten it through the door. And so I only got back, she hadn't taken a phone with her. So when she got back, I met her out the front and said, I think you've got to take the other chicken down the vet, rather than coming in and telling the girls that two of the chickens are dead and then having to go and deal with the thak......... And, the chicken, the chicken, th. And, th. And, the th. And, the th, th, th, the thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the thi, the thi, the thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thin, thi, thin, thi. toeeeeeeeean, toeeeean, toeeean, toeeeean, thi. thi. So, thi, thi, thi are dead and then having to go and deal with the third chicken. I was like maybe go and deal with this one before we come back inside. So she took the other chicken down the vet and they said, we can do $1,000 worth of surgery on your chicken and it might live or we can put it down.

And Eleanor said, what's the nice thing to do for the chicken? And they said, we're not meant to tell you. And she said, let's put this chicken down. And they put it down and they said, that's the nice thing to do. Because they're not meant to tell you beforehand. You know what you should do? You should put your pet down. Because you know, nobody wants to.

But I will say, I really struggle with the whole thing of like, I got friends who spend like thousands of dollars on surgery for dogs and like chemo treatments and all this kind of stuff. And you don't know how it's going to go and what it's quality of life's going to be like and everything and that's for a dog. That's for a dog that you spend all your time with and all that sort of stuff. So I guess when it's like would you like to pay $1 to repair this $40 chicken. It's like not really, no. Nice chicken, but still chicken, you know?

I guess what I'm saying is I'm not taking my rats in for surgery. Sure, and you're certainly not taking them to this man. I'm not going to take them to Maple Street vet clinic owner, Dr. Gary Bride. Because I don't know what he's like with animals. What I do know is that the man is a fucking genius when it comes to human body. I'm physics. Oh, absolutely. So he says, he says of the tool that he has invented, again this is a modified laser

pointer. He says I can send a signal of the coronavirus into a laser. Now, I'm not sure, like, how he's getting a signal of the coronavirus? Here. I'm gonna lay it out for you, Andrew. He absolutely is not. Okay, oh, you could say that Mr. Skeptic. Another mystery solved. He says, I can shine a laser at a person and tell whether that person has got the coronavirus, Dr. Bright said.

Within about a five-second period of shining the laser on the patient, I can tell whether they've got the virus. Now, he also said that the laser pointer can even be pointed at just a picture of the patient allowing a diagnosis to take place without them present, which I believe is known as a miracle of modern science. I can shine this laser at a fax that you have sent through and tell you if this person has the virus. He says I can shine a laser at a photograph of the person and get a diagnosis. If you go and see the

physics of it, the physics of it, the physics of it, if you go and see the physics of it, if you go and see the physics of it, you'll see the physics of it. If you go and see the physics of this, if you should definitely go and see the physics of th. You. You, th. You, th. I, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th is th is th, th is th is th is thi, th is thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the, the, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, the can can the can thea''''' is thatea''a' is thatea'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a' is that, that, that, the physics of it. I love to see the physics. Have you seen the physics of this? You should definitely go and see the physics of this. Oh, you haven't gone? Oh, you simply must. You simply must. When I'm looking at like buying a new car, they say, here's the mileage and I go, yeah, that's fine.

But I want to see the physics of this, you this this, you this, bad boy. He says, if you go and see the physics of it, you'll see that the electromagnetic force works on an infinite distance, so it's not dependent on local distance. That's true. Let's step through that. So, Theo, at what point from an object does electromagnetic force stop acting on it? Where's the hard cutoff? Oh, well that would be infinity. Right, so I guess that means if you take a photo of someone to point a laser pointer at

them, you can tell they've got coronavirus. Well, I mean, it's effectively like pointing the laser pointer at me. Yeah. I mean, because of that the infinite distance. It's the, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, th, th, th, the, the, th, the, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the, the the the the the the, the the the the the they, the the theooo, the the the theo It's the... Yeah. Because a photo is just... Are you from further away? Yeah. Yep. Or like a smaller version of you. Yep. They've compressed a sample of your atoms down into a photo and then you just check the force with your laser pointer? So yeah, I guess you can have an infectious disease and this guy can get a photo of you, and in the photo you have the infectious disease and he can point his laser at it because you had the disease when the photo was taken.

What happens if, say, what happens if you had coronavirus and then like you got cured or whatever, but in the photo you still had coronavirus? What would his, we reckon his thing would do then? I think if you asked him that question, they'd tell you to shut the fuck up. Or what if you didn't have coronavirus when the photo was taken and then you got infected like three days later but he shined the laser at the photo. Okay well now you're just misrepresenting what he's saying to make him sound ridiculous. He has actually covered this on his website because he's not you know the crackpot veteran thinking his single handli a global pandemic in his basement with a laser

pointer that you're depicting him as. He's actually trying to scientifically test his results, so there's a subsection on his website that I believe is just called the COVID-19 section, where if you, if you get coronavirus, he wants you to be in his study. So on the day that you take the regular, the PCR test or whatever it is, the proper medical one, you take a photo of yourself, send it to him, and then in five days or whatever, when you get the results of the test,

he'll sort of cross-check that with his results. And then that way, he'll know whether his test is any to be to be to be to be the to be the to be to be the to be.... to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be that with his results and then that way he'll know whether his test is any good or not. So the photo has to be of you when you have it. This isn't some sort of magical Harry Potter photo. So I'm guessing I'm guessing that you call him up and you say oh I got my test back to and in a photo I have the coronavirus and he says oh that's what my test said to. Yes yes although it's tho the the the the th th th is th is th is th is th is thus thus thus thus thus the he he he he he he he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he he's he he he he he he's he's he's he's he's he is he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he tis. te te. te. te. te is te is te is te. te is te. te is te. te. te. te. te. he he he back. And in that photo I have the coronavirus and he says, oh, that's what my test said too. Yes, although it's through a web form that he's provided, but essentially correct, yes.

Well, I mean, the distance thing doesn't matter. Well, it's electromagnetic force is infinite, so, yeah. Which we've established, you know. So that's very cool. However, University of Sunshine Coast, that's the real USC. Clinical Trial Center investigator, Dr. Susan Thackray, is not so sure about Dr. Bright's claims. Well, like Dr. Dim. You know what I'm saying? Thank, thank you, Theo. I do not feel that this is an accurate scientific assessment, nor treatment of this disease, said the professional hater.

We are living in the midst of a pandemic and we need to seek out accurate scientific tests and results with solid research. Oh, and I suppose that those accurate scientific tests and results the ones that she has. Wow, this is what they do. I thi s-I's th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, said, said, said, said, said, thi, said, said, said, thi, said thi, said thi, said thi, thi, thi, said thi, thi, said thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, said, thiiiiiiiiiiii, said, said, said she has. Wow, this is what they do. Sample bias much? It sounds like Dr. Thackeray is sick because jealousy is a disease. Get well soon. Yeah, get well soon.

Get well soon. You're diversity of the Sunshine Coast clinical trial center investigator, Dr. Susan Thacray, you jealous bitch. Dr. Bright said his app can cure coronavirus as well as numerous other physical and mental illnesses. I love it when they just like loop a whole bunch of other ones in there like, yeah. And the rest. The rest.

You got some fucking shingles. Let's sort them right out. Blast them right out your dick. Well it's very, I feel like it's probably a little harder these days to do what you used to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be to be th. th. th. th. th. the th. thus the thus. thus. thus. thus. thus. the the thus. th. th. th. th. th. the their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their.. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the th. Well it's very I feel like it's probably it's probably a little harder these days to do what you used to be able to do which was get your to'nick get your snake oil and you could just say what ails you and the person says real like my dick don't work real real dirt through your fingers sort of charlatanism getting back to the roots of it. That's right, that's right. What ails you?

Oh, my dick don't work. Let me zap you with this bad boy. What else you? Oh, I'm losing my hair. Well, but you can't wait to listen to my app called Soundfiles. It's a horrible name. It's so good, especially because all of the sound files are hosted on an account called SoundFiles on the website, SoundCloud. It's so good because the app directs you to SoundCloud. So you like you get the app, you

say I have this disease that he goes, oh check out my SoundCloud. Well, sorry, the first the first thing is you pay $31.99 for the app. Oh, on the the the the the the the the the the thune thune thune, thune, thune, thune, thuuu.00.00.00.00.00.00.00.00, I thi, I thi, I thine thine thine thine th th th thi, thi, thi thi th is thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi sound thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thou s sound thou thou thou thou th sound sound sound sound sound sound sound sound file thou thou thou th sound sound sound sound sound file thou thou thou th sound sound sound sound sound file that sound, sorry, sorry, the first thing is you pay $31.99 for the app. Oh, on the iTunes store at the moment, it is. 50 bucks. Oh, I'm on US. Oh, that. Redirected because I'm not signed into Apple. On the, on the Android store, it is $49.99. And I will actually, um, put a little, a little guess here that the one on

the iTunes store is actually misnamed because on the Google store it's called EM Balance and that's what he links to from the website so I think they've fucked up that and everything else about it. A fun fact is if you look at it on the Android store it gives you fun fact is if you look at it on the Android store it gives you a handy install count which it claims is one plus. So him he couldn't even convince us. Couldn't couldn't break that big two number couldn't get into plural. He doing two numbers yet? No. No, still at one, but early days. He makes another sale and he's like, we're into double digits.

Um, so, so yeah, I'm wondering, Theo, if they've kind of fucked up because, what did you say it was called on the... E.M. Balance? This is the only thing they fucked up about the app, by the way. Everything else works perfectly. So, so the app, what the app, what the app, what the app, what the app, what the app, the app, the app, the app, the app, the app, the app, I I the app, I the app, I the app, I, I, the app, I, the app, the app, the app, the app, th is that is thate, thate. that that that that that is thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. that, that, that that that that that that that that that that that that to that that that that that that that that that that that the only thing they're fucked up about the app by the way. Everything else works perfectly. So the app I suspect is called EM Balance and he's taken all of the sound files for E.M. Balance and said, now I need to put these somewhere where I can put my sound files. I'll put it here and they'll say, what do you want to call this and he calls it? Sound files. Now it can allegedly be used to to treatreatreatreatreatreatreatreat treat treat treat treat treat treat th. to th. to the to their to their to be used to treat depression. That's good. You want to treat that? Oh I'm less depressed since hearing about it. Muscle pains.

I'm glad to hear that for them. I love to hear some sounds. Herpes. Hey. And more? And more? Now what I like about this as a spread of things is that they are all wildly different. Wildly different. Imagine the phone call to be like, hey, hey, yeah, no, no, no, it's Bill. Yeah, no, no, we hooked up a little while ago. Got some good news and some bad news. Bad news? I have herpes. The good news is that there's an app for that. I got rid of them with some sounds of a helicopter in a cave. Sorted them right out. Well, that's not what they are. Don't be childish. Users select their illness from a preset list in the app and are then taken to a web

site where they can play a sound file. Some sound files play for only 30 seconds, they'll have you back on your feet like that. Others for as long as 30 minutes. That's probably like some kind of deep tissue treatment for your muscle pains, you know? That's probably the one for death. If you start playing that and put it into headphones on a corpse, the end of that half hour, they will be back up and right into it. These sound files range from a faint white noise to a soft thumping bass sound. That sounds like a nine inch nails ghost albums, am I right? Sure does.

And we're getting those sounds for free now. You could be paying more though. If that appeals to you, if paying more for something that is being hosted on a free website, sounds good to you, if paying more for something that is being hosted on a free website sounds good to you, then get a hold of this out because Dr. Bright alleges that these noises are, quote, the recorded versions of the substances of the periodic table. Does that sound right to you, Theo? I'm, look, I mean, I didn't, I did the electricity stuff, I didn't do chemistry, so this, this is probably true. Like, what do you reckon that can mean? Do you think maybe he's taken like the atomic weight and put that as like the frequency of a wave form or something?

I'm gonna go ahead and guess that it means nothing. Mmm, oh yes, that's a good, good theory. I reckon it's it's it's it's something it's something it's something it's something it's something it's something it's something it's something it's something it's something's something's something's something's something's something's something's something's something. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. this it's probably, this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. It's probably, th. It's probably, th. It's probably, th. It's probably, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's probably. It's probably. It's probably. It's probably, th. It's probably, th. It's probably, th. It's probably, th. It's probably, th. It's probably, th. It's probably, th. It's probably, th. It's probably, th. It's probably means nothing. Mmm. Oh yes, that's a good theory. I reckon it's something really cool. Like he's, um, like he's, he's doing something really cool, like, typing a word into like a text file and opening the text file in something else and getting like all of the, getting like all of else and getting like all of the, getting like all of the sort of ASCII or binary code or something like that, and then just pasting that into something else that generates a noise.

I think it's something very smart like that, where he gets to say, yes, I put in the word iron, and now, there's a sound of that. He claims that listening to the sound files can correct the quote energy imbalance of someone who is physically or mentally ill and helps them become healthy again. Now we're mocking the price of this but it does cost a lot less than $15,000 US dollars, which is what you need to pay to have your energy imbalance corrected by Dr. Pete Evans's... Oh, I can't remember the name of it.

The biocharger NG. Thank you. My God. Wipe that from my mind. Ben, can you read this next line for me? Because it's my favorite part. When asked if there was medical research that supports the alleged science behind his inventions, Dr. Bride said, no, because the only research is by me. This is my terminology, this is all my creation he said, with the current set of medical standards, I have not been able to validate it. You simply cannot peer review something if none of your peers have caught up to you yet.

Well they gotta download the app first. Yeah. Idiots, one and all. Jealous jealous haters like Dr. Susan Thackeray. You know? Fackray! Always trying to get on the way of true progress. Dr. Bright said his app was temporarily removed from the Google Play Store for being classified as a scam by the tech giant, but it has since been republished. Oh, thank God. Dr. Bright said he has reached out to health officials about using his inventions on the front lines against coronavirus, but his pleas have been ignored, which is frankly foolish. Yep, I'm, yep, no, Dr. Bright, no, I hear you. Okay, now I'm writing this down.

Sound files. and I'll definitely download that after we're finished yep no all good yep thanks thanks yep no no got it no got to go got a go but I will I will download that you'll see it tick over from one to two no and you and you probably don't to call about it again to finne we're good I've received all of your calls about it today. Fine, we're good. I've received all of your calls about it today. Loved hearing from you by the way. He says he's been speaking to the state health minister and the federal health minister about this technology and nothing. Despite this, he said he was optimistic

about the future of his inventions. Quote, I do believe that in the future, every single doctor and surgeon will be using my technology. Stan. When he says, so let's just look specifically here, the terms he uses here, right? I've been speaking to the state health minister and the federal health minister. To me, not I have tried to contact or I have emailed, I've been speaking to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the doctor, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thea, thea, thea, tea, tea, tea, tea, tea, tea, thea, their, their, their, their, their, the state health minister and the federal health minister. To me, not I have tried to contact or I have emailed, I've been speaking to, to me, implies a back and forth. So, well, I mean, what he's been doing is talking to a photo of them that he's printed out. That's effectively the same thing because of physics.

He's strongly, he's strongly implying that he has been taking part in the great Australian tradition of of of of of ofing of of of of of of of of th.. of of of of th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the thi. to, to, to, to, the the the the thi. to, to, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. thi. I. thi. thi. thi. thi. to me. to me, to me, to me, toe. And, to me, toe. And, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, I'm, to me, I he's been taking part in the great Australian tradition of getting on the blower and sorting it out. Well he's been getting on the blower and not sorting it out apparently which he's quite upset about. It's been getting on the blower and demanding someone to allow him to sort it out and they're not bloody letting him do it. And it's bullshit. Uh, should we have a little, um, a little listen on one of the tracks and see if check those organs that's nice.

Oh, that's nice. Ow. Ow. Ow. It's removing my gold bladder. Ow! Getting a real lithium vibe. Very soothing, very rainfall in the jungle kind of vibes.

Just download a rainfall in the jungle kind of vibes. Just download a rainfall in the jungle app. I... And that will cure your cancer. I'd probably go to a medical health care professional first. Because you're a hater. Haider and a doubter. You know?

Well, that's, uh, that goes for another, let's see, eight minutes. I'm assuming, I mean, you can try and check this out for yourself if you have anything that goes for another, let's see, eight minutes. I'm assuming, I mean, you can try and check this out for yourself if you have anything that felt like it was partly getting cured by listening to this. So you know, go and check it out if you would like to get that sort of out, whatever that might be. Beautiful stuff. Oh, beautiful stuff. I'm convinced I think I'm into it now. I had a little bit of a poke around his website because obviously this is insane, but he's

also a practicing vet that people, I imagine, regularly take their pets to. They offer all sorts of stuff. So they're clinical examinations, this is something they offer, clinical examinations just like any other veterinary surgeon. But we add an energetic examination. The energetic examination... Will he be examining the aura of my pet? I believe that's what he does.

The energetic examination looks at the... Now, bear in mind the three things I'm about to list all start with the capital letter, the proper nouns. Body, mind and soul of the pet. The body and mind in the reflex freeze slash flight or fight reaction, the reflex is a repulsion. Illness is associated with the repulsion of something and we discover what your pet is repelling to resolve the clinical dilemma. But Ben, that's all, I mean, that's all well and good, but can you use a laser on a dog?

Well, I'm so glad you asked the very next sentence is, our diagnosis involves using a laser that sends frequencies into the pet. Oh, okay. And that's good to me. We are able to test anything. Physical, for example viruses, bacteria, toxins, etc. Allogens, food, contact and inhaliants, immune system, APC, tsoll ligands, PD1L1, CTLA4, etc. Non-physical, for example, states of consciousness, for example fear. All illnesses are associated with a blockage of acupuncture channels in the body mind soul. Now this is one of my c-ee. Owl. Now the examinations are just one of the services they offer your pets. Let me give you this exhaustive list. Clinical facilities, digital

x-ray, ultrasound, in-house laboratory, dental suite, dedicated surgical theater, piped, oxygen generation, electro surgery, cryosurgery, acupuncture, vibrational sound therapy, laser therapy, herbal medicine, dietary therapy, IV nutraceuticals, and human acupuncture. So let me just, this was a vet. Just wanted to make sure. I love that apparently a vet is kind of like what we used to do with doctors in the 1800s, where people just like made shit up and then did it. Are there no laws here? How is a...

I just, I guess maybe if he's got some form of, I don't know, do you need to be accredited to work as an acupuncturist? You must be. It just seems weird to be able to do both of the same building. Well, so imagine how disappointed you'd be if you took your animal to, like, this vet, if you took your cat in or something, the cat's, like, like, furs coming out in clumps, can you do something? And it comes back half an hour later, and said, well, look, we shot your cat with a laser

and turns out it's got on we. Yeah, well, it's a, it's a perfect racket for, now, I'll just say, Theo, I have no idea of the kind of, um, um, I have no idea of the way, for your cat. Yeah, well it's a it's a perfect racket for now I'll just say Theo I have no idea of the kind of socio-economic status of the area that we're describing. Oh my experience is as a 11 year old is extremely yuppie. It's it's in a place though, it's near Yumundi, which is like Hinterland beach hippies. Like there's a lot of...

That's exactly what it is. One of my ex-girlfriends, her mom runs a crystal healing shop somewhere around there. That's very much the vibe. So, yeah, that says to me that this is a perfect racket to claim to have invented a device which is capable of both diagnosing and curing invisible things. So somebody can bring their dog there and they can say ah your dog is very distressed very depressed and also has say some kind of blood condition but thankfully I can shoot the same laser at them that will sort all of that out

and I can just run you up a nice bill and then if you're a huge idiot which you have to be, if you're taking your animal to this guy, you say, oh, thank God. Thank God, you have, you've averted a crisis. You and your sonic healing tool really did it. My sonic healing tool that is based on physics. I love physics.

Just love physics. I can't get enough of it. Do you guys want to hear some physics? Yeah, hit me. I'd love to. So I was very excited to find on their site, which is not just him by the way. There's another practitioner there. So it's kind of like, it reminds me

a lot of that, the Qa'non psychiatrist we talked about. Oh yeah, you remember that guy? Usually had the blog on there. Yeah, and there's a blog on this one as well with one post, which is very, very mind rending. It's not a good, not a good post to read, but I was very excited to find on the menu bar a drop-down for physics. I thought oh I'm a bit of a bit of a dabler. I interact physics from time to time. So let's hear what he has to say. So most health care systems study disease but the principal difference of the work of Dr. Gary is that

he studies health. You didn't think about that one, did you? So if you focus on health, then that's what you replicate. So, however, to understand health, and I am just struggling through some of the grammar here as well, you have to also understand the disease process. The body is a complex system that has taken millennia of evolution to create. That's so true. Sure, that's true. Evolutionary, we're all very similar, e.g. a worm is very similar to a human being. That is so true. I'm constantly eyelessly chewing up mouthfuls of dirt and shitting it out

the other one body. Well I think what he gag at is the same laser. What only is the one laser? The commonality lies in physics. You can see the physics in nature. If you study physics you see the simplicity instead of the complexity and I get the impression that he studies physics. So he goes in, he makes this whole... so I also get the impression that he studies physics. So he goes in, he makes this whole... So I also get the sense that he enjoys seeing the simple version of anything rather than... As soon as it's complex, he's like, nah, my laser sort that out. This guy absolutely watched, the formative experience that has led him down this path is watching the movie

What the bleep do we know? He has based his entire worldview on that. If you if you want to read the article it's it's TimeCube level batshitness but he goes on to say that like some forces exist in nature and some do not. So if we look at health and disease in this force, health is attraction and disease is repulsion. Diagnosis of this repulsion and this is where he gets into the validation of his COVID-19 test has been performed using the laser RAC pulse, which I'm not familiar with, but it is the validation of his COVID-19 test has been performed using the laser RAC pulse, which I'm not familiar with, but it is a subjective test. It is a very simple test anyone can do as long as they take their consciousness from the thinking state to the feeling state. Yeah, brother, we all smoke weed.

Well, unfortunately, not everyone is willing to feel then. I would like to walk back the thing that I just said. So apparently he has made a magnetic sensor that he has created to detect biomagnetic fields through years of countless experiments to make this discovery. No one's listening. No one wants to make this discovery. No one's listening. No one wants to hear it. It's just too many physics. Well, I mean, this doesn't sound.

I mean, unless... By any chance, can his magnetic sensor measure biomatic fields in the nanotesla to Pico-Tesl range? Oh, well, I mean, I don't know why you'd be looking anywhere else. Well, if it does that, I might be on board. Well, fortunately, the problem has been having access to a magnetic sensor that can measure the biomagnetic fields in the nanotesla range. Oh, I have created such a device. Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! And now for the first time, we now have scientific objective measurements of the repulsion of substances.

This dude is just out there. It's just out there living life, making stuff happen, producing lasers that do things, that's capital D, capital T. The lasers, they do things. What a cool guy. And I'm assuming that he will continue to thrive in the medical community and will not be recognized in his time. Much like Da Vinci, which was made clear to us in the film Hudson Hawk. Ah, you won't be attending that hat convention in July. God, that's a good movie. No it's not. It's not.

It's really not. It's really not. Something in my brain, I don't know if it's just the era, but something in my brain wants to put like Hudson Hawk and Last Action Hero in the same kind of toat. Very similar era. Yeah, very kind of joky, fourth wall Some tone I think. Tone, yeah very kind of joky, wacky, forthwally tone, except the last action hero is good. Yeah that is probably the biggest difference

between them. It's the main one. Less singing last action hero too. We were so so horny for Andy McDowell in the 90s. I'm still beautiful woman. I respect and cherish that woman. Follow her on Twitter because she is like, the only thing she posts is really weird, like feel-good boomer memes. Yeah, she's...yeah, she's... Check her out if you want some good cringe vibes from Andy McDowell. I've been, um, I feel like the coronavirus lockdown, which will hopefully be cured by Dr. Gary's Laser very soon. It's been making me watch a lot of, watch a lot of early 90s movies.

Making me watch like the fugitive. Oh, fugitive's good. It's a great movie. Good movie, you know. Oh, I've been watching some treats. I did also watch the 2003 movie The Hunted, starring Tommy Lee Jones and Benicio Del Toro. Kind of a weird one. It's about, they're basically just trying to do first blood. Kind of like the fugitive. Tommy Lee Jones was just in that role after that. But apparently in the 2003 movie The Hunted, a I'm guessing 50-something-year-old Tommy Lee Jones can run faster than a car that Benicio

Del Toro is gunning down the road. You can also run faster than a moving train. There's a lot of things he also run faster than a moving train. There's a lot of things he can run faster than in that movie. I can run faster than Benicio Del Toro on a bike, like just the push bike. A lot of stuff. This has been 2003 film The Hunted Update. Thank you so much. And that's a perfect note to end on really. Although if we are

to circle back around to true lies, I will say, and we were watching that the other night. We got to the scene where Jamie Lee Curtis was like, oh no, I have to be horny and dance for this arms dealer or whatever she thinks Arnold's doing at the time. And she tears off all the shit and gets all sexy. And I said to wife of the show, my wife, Elna, Price is right rules closest without going over. How old do you think she was when they shot this? And my wife was like 48.

And something right up there. And I went and looked and Jamie Lee Curtis was younger than I am now. And she shot that. And I went, oh no. Old people can be sexy. She was like 36. When she shot that movie. And I went, okay.

I guess that's what happens when you watch a movie where a couple is meant to be like mature adults for the first time when you are a child and then you just keep watching that movie as you get older. That's it, folks. I would like to actually, if I could issue a correction of the show for something I said earlier. Oh fuck. It wasn't that she was the first one to do a triple axle, it was about her having done a backflip and landing on a single skate at the Olympics and there's a really good radio lab episode about it called On the Edge. Listen to it, it's super interesting.

They didn't actually tell us the name of the skater or anything. No, because it's a French name and I don't even want to have a crack at trying to pronounce it. Oh, has there been a shortage of us making fun of French, French accents, pronunciation and such today? I just it would, I'm not even going to try. They just, if you do list the episode, they do that that, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, that, that, have, have, have, have, have, have, have, have their, has their, has, has, has their, has, has, has, has their, has their, has their, has, has their, has their, has their, has their, has their, has their, has their, has their, has their, has their, has their, has has their, has has has their, has has, has, has, has, has, has, has, has, has, has, has, has, has, has, has, has, has, has, has, have, have, have, have, have, have, have, have, have, have, have, have, have, have, have, have a, have a, have a their, has a their, their, their, has a their, has a their, has a their, has a their, has a their, has a their, has a. their, has do at the end where they sort of try on both sides a little, but the first 90% of it, fantastic, on the edge, listen to it. There you go. Theo, anything of somebody else's that you want to plot? We've got true lies, we've got a radio line. Absolutely. Check out the movie. I enjoyed a good while I was working. That's a good movie. It's just a wonderful performance from Sean William Scott. He's such a lovable goof in it and it happens to also just destroy a whole bunch of people.

Oh, the violence in it is done with like, it, like better than a lot of action movies in terms of just how visceral every hit feels is brutal. A lot of teeth coming out, a lot of Canadians. Also a good sports movie that doesn't require you to have any knowledge or interest in the sport itself. No because it is 90% fighting. Beautiful movie. I still haven't watched the sequel.

They made a sequel with all the same people. Which I believe was well received. Actually, speaking of Goon, also listen to the radio lab episode, The Punchline, which is about a hockey goon, an enforcer who as a joke got voted into an all-stars team, and then it's just a really, fucking, incredible, like, laugh, cry, amazing story that I will tell everyone about until I'm fucking dead. It's it's really amazing. Wonderful. I think that's it. I think we're officially out of things to tell you to listen to that aren't this show. Yeah that's enough for now. We'll tell you more things to

listen to that aren't the show in the future but that's right're getting. This week's crime pass, for one week it is legal to be French. But not for a day more. Not for a day more. Not for a minute more. You should also do any kind of fraudulent medical malpractice that you can get away with? Just knock yourself out. Say you invented sound waves that you can get away with? Just knock yourself out. Say you invented sound waves that cure eggs, you know. Apparently it's fine.

Trebusha, a dog. Trebusha, a dog, say, ah, we're trying to use gravity to loosen some of your dog's distress. Gravity affects illnesses faster than it does. The dog itself. You put it in the tributary show. The illnesses will lag behind. Bye everybody. See you next week.

Bye. Bye.