Boonta Vista - UNLOCKED BONUS EPISODE: Dante Was Born To Make Soupy

Episode Date: February 18, 2026

Lucy, Andrew, and Ben bring you: A tradition that made it from Italy to Rhode Island, an intranational pretzel connection, a misappropriated hand gesture, a Greyhound bus bathroom disaster, and the future of nowstalgia. *** Outro: Ashtray - Narrow Head *** Support our show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista *** Email the show at [e-mail]! Call in and leave us a question or a message on 1800-317-515 to be answered on the show! *** Website: boontavista.com Twitch: twitch.tv/boontavista

That's great. I'm great. So true. Hey, welcome to Bonta Vista. It's a bonus episode, and here you are at brunch with three of your fabulous flirty, 30-something friends, living on the Upper East Side of New York. And boy, are we all dumb sluts.

There's only three things that mean anything to us in this crazy thing we call life. That's shopping, sipping cocktails, and sucking a lot of dick. with us is our gal pal Ben. He is one big dumb slut. And if you ask Ben what he wants for brunch, he's going to say, oh, I just want cock, honey.

I love cock. But he's actually also a really multifaceted and complex human being. His own goals, dreams, fears. He even has the capacity to love. Hey, slah, you suck a lot of dick this weekend. You tell me, was it a weekend ending in why? We suck a lot of dick. I love sucking dick.

When's the joke part of this intro coming up? No, nothing. I'm just kind of introducing us to the people that might not know us that well. Yeah, nice. Yeah, and Theo's not here. He's obviously the Charlotte of the group in that he acts like really prudish all the time, but we all know that he's like the biggest slut of the more like body count is crazy, crazy. Yeah, I can think of in the last nine years, maybe two times he's intimated that he's recently had

sex. Very scandalous whatever it's happened. Very. Oh, my goodness. Also, with us here is Andrew, and the only thing Andrew loves more than getting dicked down crazy style is shoes. That's right. He's got those piggyies out in the Manolo Blanick store right now. He's airing out them nasty little toes in a pair of strappy sandals, and boy, are they hairy. Hey, Slot. Hey. I just had 12 mimosa. Yeah? And how many cocks did you suck at lunch today? Too many, two, count. Waiter came over. Sorked him off. Took myself to the bathroom.

Salked off everyone in the bathroom. I wish Charlotte was here so I could shock her. 12.14 p.m. You give me five. Okay, I have a bad one. That could be about anything. I thought you were going to say 12.14 p.m. going to. to suck more dicks.

I thought you were going to... Middle of the day. I thought we were going to try to do like some yes-a and stuff. I don't know. Not our style. That's all I've got. No, we're all sluts and we like suck cocks all the time. Is that anything?

What were you thinking about? I've just been watching sex in the city. Like it's been on in the background all weekend. So that's what I was thinking. On in the background of doing what? All the work and projects I've got going on. Yeah. You've been projects.

I've got more projects. That's got what projects. My interests. Sex of the City, that's set in New York. That's a region. We talk about regional stuff in regional bullshit. Regional bullshit. Every little town has got their own bullshit.

Regional bullshit. Every little town has just got to happen. This comes first from WPRI in Providence, Rhode Island. homemade soupy recipes passed down for generations in Westerly. Soupy? Soupy. Yep. S-O-U-P-Y.

Soupy. Like having some of the qualities of soup? Oh, you're thinking of soup-ish. Soup-esque? Can be soup-esque recipes for me? This chowder is quite soup-esque. Recipes for a semi-solid dish? I wouldn't say soup.

Soup-esque recipes for one. I wouldn't say soup per se. But sharing some of the qualities of soup, some of the spirit. When does something stop being a soup? Like how solid does it have to be? There's a Peruvian dish. I think it's either Peruvian or it's just been cooked for me by a Peruvian man that is called Sopeseca, which is just dry soup.

Which is, it's basically the ingredients of soup minus the broth. Dry soup. Hmm. Think about it. It's not like the dry style Chinese noodle dishes, you know, where they go, ah, we dried this one out for you. Yeah. Let's get some dry malatang. Get that wet, wet soup out of here.

I'm like, honestly, I expected it to be more soupy. I ordered a soup. Where's the soup? Have you ever heard of soupy? It has nothing to do with a flavorful broth or a hearty biscuit. Okay. Soupy actually refers to homemade soprasada, a spicy. dried cured Italian salami made from ground park, ground pork.

Ground pork. I love when Americans do this where they like, yeah, we have this thing. Yeah, we know it's got a name, but we've made the name stupid or over time due to common usage. And that's what makes it special. For decades, families in Westerly have made soupy in the carriages and basements. Oh, no. What's that sound? Are you okay in there?

Are you making soupy? I'm making soupy in the car. Oh. In the garage? In the garage? One of those garage toilets in West Providence or wherever we are. Honestly, honestly, when I, these days when I go make soupy, it's so bad that my wife says out in the garage. Out in the garage.

Go down in the basement. If you're going to make soupy, go down to the basement. I press the button on the garage door and it starts going up and then I stop it pretty quick. So I want to start the airflow, but ideally people will only see the bottom of the large plastic paint mixing bucket that I'm sitting on top of while I make soupy. And then when I'm done, as soon as I'm done, I open it all the rest of the way up because it's bad, folks. It's so bad. All the grass outside my house is dead. It's like a big ring of dead grass on my property and encroaching upon my neighbors.

Giuseppe de Caro has been making soupy for as long as you can remember. Same. Wait, sorry, we're talking about a meat, a sausage? Yeah, supprasata. How are you making soprasada? Well, I did actually edit out the like 12 paragraphs of this article where they go and step by step how you make cured sausages. But you can find that information in your own time. It's just a sausage.

I won't. You never make any sausages at home, Lucy? I don't care that much. No, I'd prefer to not know how that's. sausages. Oh, next time you visit, we'll make some sausages. It'll be wonderful. He told 12 news he brought the tradition to Rhode Island from Calabria, Italy,

and his family recipes been passed down for generations. Hold on, you think you invented soupy in Rhode Island? He brought soupy to Rhode Island. My pawpour brought soupy to Rhode Island. My poor poor brought soupy to Rhode Island. Are you pronouncing it suprasada? Like where... Supressara.

I guess. Where are we getting a soupy from? Soupy calabrian sausage. I guess the alternative is to say I'm making soppy. And that's also not good, right? Well, that neither of them are good. Honestly, both bad. Both very wet sounding.

I'm making sloppy out here. There's just no good version of this. Quote, we call it suppresada in Italy, but in America it's soupy, Ticaro said. Oh! Ticaro said soupy takes sense. several months to dry and cure. The family typically makes soupy at the winter to kill until this the morning.

Come on. Making soupy is a family affair. Making soupy is a family affair. We get the waiting pool out. I can't come to that. My family's Italian. We make soupy together every Sunday. It's soupy Sunday.

We're all going to be in the garage making soupy together. Do you want to come? My mother, my grandmother. Father Michael. You want to come around our place? Do Italian have a slur for white people? Maybe. Is it like an Italian version of Guyian?

Like you've, I've never heard an Italian people call anyone gringo, you know? Like, uh. We're going to get into whether Italians are white here. Well, okay. So for Anglos, for like Anglo Saxon, for wasps. What are Italians calling wasps? Yeah, what are you got? Yeah.

Because, you know, the wasps had one for them. Oh, I think I might have one. Yeah. I might have one. Medigan or Amerigen in the US a term used by Italian Americans to refer to Americans of white

Anglo-Saxon Protestant descent Americans of Northwestern European descent and Americans with no discernible ethnicity or Americans of non-Italian descent in general. Is this literally just someone with a really thick Italian accent comes from the southern Italian pronunciation of the Italian word

Americano. American. Amerigan. Is Ameriguan? oh I love that that's great I'm adduffting that into my unless they used it for non-white people in which case cut it cut it well is it unfortunately this the list I'm looking at also has all of the slurs that all the different countries use for Italian people and that

part of the list is a lot longer and yeah bad no good there's a lot more to get through of the mean things people say about Italians quote it takes a whole family DiCaro said, even my granddaughter is here. We've trained him good. His grandson, Dante DeCaro, joke that he's been making soupy since the day he was born. Dante was born to make soupy. Quote, I'm 21, and I feel like I've been doing this for 21 years.

That's how Fio feels. Brother, I came out of my mother making soupy. My mother was making soupy the day she had me. I'll tell you that much. DeCaro's family isn't the only one making homemade soupy and westerly. There are countless other extended families who also get together during the winter months to make their own versions

of the beloved spicy sausage. Soupy cells. That's actually how soupy fest was born. I love it when I suddenly get the hook that pulled you in, Ben. Yeah. It wasn't the soupies. Soupy fest. I mean, I think it was the words

make soupy. Oh, God. You know, you've got to have some easy wins. times. Now in its third year, Supi Fest honors the history of the Italian delicacy through tastings and a soupie making contest emceived by Steve. How do you pronounce is Skereepa? Schreeper. I think it's Skerepa.

Is it C.H? It's a hard. Yeah. By Steve Scariper from the Sopranz. Oh, he played Bobby. Wait, that's Bobby? Mm-hmm. Wow. Dikara's family will be competing in the contest, which takes

place about a week after their soupy should be done curing. Supi making contest. Let's go. 12 news anchor Mike Montecalvo will be one of the judges for this year's Supi Fest competition. Tickets have already sold out. You can't go to Sufi Fest. Speaking of which. On the live show? Live show. Oh, that's good. That's really. We'll be making our own kind of soupy. Yeah. That's the things that we say. We will be making soupy on stage with

Big Soft titty. PNG, the one other Australian comedy podcast. That's right. The two only company podcasts in the world as far as I care. All six of us up there, just making soupy together. Making soupy together on stage. I make no promises that all six of us will be on stage at the same time. I do not. Who knows?

I'm doing it. I'm promising it right now. Get your tickets at buntarvista.com slash live. It'll be at the carousel bar. Bar and Ballroom. Bar and Grill. In Darlinghurst. Get your tickets today.

Yeah. It should be good, I reckon. It might be good, probably. Yeah. If you don't like a Bonte Vista live show to run overly long because there are two sets in the live show, this is the perfect live show for you. Hmm.

Hmm. I have another regional bullshit story for you here. This is from W.H.M. in Pennsylvania. Pretzel offers twist on Sister City concept for Littitz. Littitz, probably. Let it's? Letits. Pretzol?

I'm getting an offer from pretzel. Pretzel offers twist on sister city concept for lititz. Much like a pretzel, a local community is putting a twist on the concept of a sister city. You don't have to explain the twist part. We got that. Oh, because it's called pretzel. The place is called pretzel? No, it's because of pretzel the concept.

Because of the art of pretzel. How is the pretzel offering this to me? It's a pretzel whispering to me. They're dropping prepositions because it's a because it's a headline. You can't just use language any way you feel like it. You can't just put strings and words together. That's not how we function as a society. You can. Check this out.

I'll put some words together and you'll know what they mean. What are you doing in here? Get out of my state, Sister City. Yeah. Yeah. That's really good. Okay. Letitz entered into a pretzel sister city partnership with the city of

Freeport, Illinois, the Leititz historical. I can't stop saying La Titz. Lititz with a Freeport. I've seen you can buy those, but I just don't know whether I'd be able to get into it. You know what I meant by that. Yep. You can. Language is so malleable.

It's so malleable. It's our clay, and we use our big, strong hands to shake it. Can I? Shape it. Look, words are tough. I hate to take issue with lititz, but this doesn't feel like a real commitment to a sister city. This feels frivolous.

I actually put this story in there because I believe the exact opposite. I think sister cities are usually incredibly frivolous. It's like great, Brisbane's sister city is Osaka or whatever. What does that mean for me? Nothing. But these two places, they have something that, ties them together like the knot in a pretzel, which I think is quite beautiful.

Okay. I thought maybe you would have a counter argument as to why this is frivolous. What are they this? What are this? What pretzels? You can't just be like, you can't just be like we're establishing a relationship with this other city based off the fact that we both like pretzels.

Yeah. You know? Okay. I get that, but everyone likes pretzels. Yes. There are some on the official Brisbane flag. Are there? Yes, we got pretzels on there.

What are you talking about? They're maritime knots, but they're in the same shape as a pretzel. Oh, the little pretzel nut. Sister City partnerships often pair two communities near or far that have a shared heritage or culture. Borough Council approved the partnership December 23rd, while Freeport City Council approved theirs on December 1st. Why the pretzel twist? The Tits is home to the first commercial pretzel bakery in the country and home to Pretzel Fest, while Freeport, about two hours west of Chicago,

dubs itself Pretzel City USA. That's a big call. Which you'd know that name from all the rock songs about it, you know, going down roots. Classic Kiss songs. Whatever, the Pretzel City USA. I'm going to stay up all night with you in Pretzel City, USA. Giving Latitz a twist in Pretzel City USA.

Yes, dude. Quote, Freeport has embraced the image of Pretzel City USA for over a century. uniting our interests with another great city who shares our heritage and appreciation for the pretzel goes beyond history. It's what we can do better together in the future, said city of Freeport Mayor Jody Miller. We are excited to work with Littitz, PA.

You know what, this whole fucking time? I thought this was like a place in Germany. You're telling me that you are a sister city with a place in Pennsylvania? That's the twist. Isn't that the twist? Isn't that the twist that they're both in America? You're both in the same fucking country?

You can't have interstate, like... I thought that's what we were arguing about. Oh, no, I didn't think... This article is from Pennsylvania, Ben. You know what? I'm just putting this all together. I'm only reading this article now for the first time. That sucks, dude.

Fuck off. You can't be like... How many states away from Illinois's Pennsylvania? Like three? Maybe? I reckon your shortest path would take you like three hops over to Pennsylvania. It's not far. God damn.

What an insular, navel-gazing, small-binded people. Now who thinks it's a frivolous bullshit. What did you think the twist was? Well, no, I just thought that there was like one of the like

oldest pretzel cities in Germany or whatever and this city in America that for 100 years has been pretzel city USA. How are we spelling lititz by the way? It's L-I-T-Z, which is why I thought it was fucking German. Lititz. Te-Bub.

I don't think you should be a sister city with a place that's an 11-hour drive away. No, that's fucking so stupid. That'd be what, if Sydney was sister cities with Brisbane. What are you talking about? You people are dumb. Also, you now have these two pretzel cities that are sister cities because they both have a shared love of pretzels. But only one of them has been dubbed pretzel city USA. So it's already on a pedestal

Above the other pretzel city Why are you going to be a sister city with your direct competition? You should be a sister city if you have to have an intranational one With a beer city or mustard. A mustard or beer city USA. Maybe like Wisconsin, maybe a little cheese. That's what I'm thinking. What about the city in Wisconsin that is most famous for like beer and cheddar soup?

Beer cheese. you fucking sister city with those. That's your sister's castle is. That's your sister city right there. God damn. You got, look, number one, I'm just looking at the sister cities for say Brisbane. At least, I believe we have read

a bunch of lives. There's too many. There's too many. There's so many. It undermines it. It waters it down. I think it, I've said this before, but I think it should be meaningful. I think if you go to your country, like your city's one. You should get something.

sister city but people should immediately you should be like oh my god I didn't realize you were from Osaka our sister city I will let you into my home that's how deep it should run I am obligated by sisterly honour to host you indefinitely yeah finding out like someone else is also a freemason or whatever

where you're like oh my god have my car don't get a higher car borrow my car the whole time that you're here that's what we should get in Osaka Did you know that Nice was a sister city of Brisbane, but they broke up? For what reason would you break up as meaningless to tax? The World War Nis-Frols was formerly a sister city of Brisbane until the relationship was severed in 1995 as a protest against the Sharaq government's decision to resume nuclear testing in the Pacific Ocean. Oh. Oh.

Oh, that actually seems like a... Okay, but also what relationship? Yeah. Like what relationship is there having a sister city? We used to go to Nice and then someone would look at you and say, Mon Frere. Well, I'm also just learning. I'm also just learning that countries also have friendship cities.

They have cities that they're friends with. Oh, you're allowed to fuck them. That's the difference. Like, what, how come there's just good friends cities, you know? Do you think that's... I see you as a friend cities. Partnerships that weren't approved by the body. that oversees sister cities.

You're like, well, fine, we'll just be friends then. Yeah. Quote, we're excited to work with La Titts, PA, and we'd like to thank Freeport Community Advocate Tim Connors for helping to bring this idea to fruition. The rich traditions in Freeport and Litits are enhanced by becoming sister cities. Our history with pretzels gives our community a common bond.

We look forward to sharing ideas and experiences that will benefit both of our communities, said Timothy Snyder, who served as the mayor of Leitz when this partnership was adopted. history with pretzels stated by two cities that are not in the place where pretzels come from yeah i actually i was thinking about this a little when i thought that this was germany i was like it'd be pretty embarrassing that like the american delegates would go over to lititz in bavaria and be like oh my god these pretzels are incredible and then the german delegates from latitz

in bavaria go to america and like pennsylvania christ pretzels. Fuck. Spitting it out. You have dishonoured us. We no longer wish to be your sisters. I have just one thing to say. These are dog shit.

Goodbye. I am suffering our bond. And hey, if the American and German delegates of the pretzel sister city arrangement had a falling out, it may be fall under the umbrella of paper. Paging Dr. Lucy. It's time for paging Dr. Lucy. If you find that you are having a little relationship trouble, just for pick up your telephone and dial it on the double.

You call 1-800-317515. Now you're paging Dr. Lucy. Just for the record, there are two states between Illinois and Pennsylvania, Not even three. Yeah, I didn't think it was three. God damn. They're just like right there. Yeah.

Stupid. You're stupid. This comes to us from R slash cuckold psychology. Wife likes to make cuckold hand sign when we take pictures in public. Oh, what is it cuckold hand sign? Yeah, the cuckold gesture. Like this one? Well, yeah, but that's also just regular sex.

Well, how do you? How do you? On the way, I do it. So just for the benefit of someone who's listening to this show and isn't in the room with us right now, Lucy did the classic index figure in front making a circle. And then the other index finger going into it, I would propose that the cuxing ball should be that, but use your pinky.

Use your pinky in fair and stairs. That's very good. That's really smart. And you can be motioning to the guy next to you while you do your little pinky in there. Pathetic. Mostly for selfies, but sometimes when someone takes our picture. No one has ever said anything, but she says it's a small way to remind me. Anyone else's wife slash GF have a way to give them a subtle reminder of the relationship dynamic?

Are we supposed to know what the cuckold hand symbol is? Is it just like a pinky? Oh, do you not? Oh, I thought you guys would know about this, actually. No. He does actually answer this question in a little conversation that took place in the comments here. Someone has asked, oh, we have a gang sign now? The original poster has replied, well, as of last Thursday,

index and pinky finger extended up sign of the horns like a metal like a metal like you might well maybe I guess it'd be weird to do the cuck sign at like a metal concert or a rock and roll show or maybe maybe you're like Texas A&M you know big football game and everyone's like

someone's fucking my wife put it off for the two penises yeah yeah yeah they're two penises right because one's way longer than the other one is that it Well, I mean, that's not what this guy thinks, but that was a, that's really good. The guy who post the question has replied, come on, man, that's the universal hand sign for rock and roll. We can't just appropriate one of the most universally recognized hand gestures in the world.

Good point. Well, is it? Because the original poster has replied, for centuries in Mediterranean cultures, it has meant cuckold and still does. Rock and roll appropriated it from Mediterranean culture. But well done for being yet another American to assume something from your culture. is one of the most universally recognized hair gestures in the world. Oh, my God. I really hope this is true.

I think it definitely is. I hope Custledree has a rich history like this. I heard it as like a symbol of virility or as a sign to ward off the evil eye. But, you know, I'm usually all for people tearing down Americans on the internet because of their ability to jump into any situation and be like, wait, wait, you all don't have. in Ohio, but like... Oh, you all got pretzels? Throwing up the horns is pretty universal.

Somebody in the replies was like, I mean, I live in Sweden and go to metal festivals and I don't think they're all cucks, which a lot of them will be. Oh, Scandinavians. Oh my God, Scandinavian, those long winters. Mine gets to all sorts of wandering. Yeah, this does have shades of the old, uh, actually. the Nazis appropriated it from the Buddhists. Yeah, I think, like I get it.

I get that it has a history. A long history probably, you may have to, at some point you have to realize that the like, the general usage is kind of taken over a little bit. The thing is, history continues to be written, you know? Yes. Yes, the future is still unwritten. And the present is a gift.

That's why we call it the gift. Damn, this is true, though. This is... About the cuck thing? Yeah, it's on the, it's on the wiki for a sign of the horns. Yeah, is it because of like, the sign of a ram or some shit, right? There's a heap of,

there's like the evil eye. Yeah. Yeah. A lot of people are making the sign of the evil eye to warn off evil anymore these days. It is very rarely happening around me. But I bet there's a lot of people's like nonas still doing that stuff. Oh, no doubt. I bet it looks cool when they do.

Italian friend was telling me that there's like a, you, you grab your nuts for good luck is something that they still do. Or I think grabbing your tits for good luck is also one of them, which I think that's fantastic. Let's bring that one more. Okay. In many Mediterranean countries, when directed towards someone pointed upward and or swiveled back and forth.

Like the queen waving hello, but you're doing like metal horns. That makes it imply cuckoldry. Oh, as in that the person is getting cucked or the person doing the gesture is the cuck. The people you're doing the gesture to is a cuck. You're a little pussy bitch, is what you're saying with that hand gesture. My dick is longer than your dick. I'm depicting myself as the large index finger and you is the small little finger.

It's a virgin pinky. Which has my ugliest fingernail on my hand, by the way. It's small and also ugly. We have such a limited range of hand gestures available. Oh, no, maybe, I guess like waving. Sure, we got that. The middle finger, sure. Classic.

Peace, no one's genuinely doing it in like a... In a peace way. I am indicating that I would like to have a moment of peace with you kind of way. No. How are you thinking something is universal, but finding out it was actually because of views were American-centric. That can happen because poe-bodied's nerfict. We talk about po-body being nerfict in poe-bodied-nur-tick.

Poe-bodied nerfick. No. This no, po' body's nerve. No, whoopsie, daisy. Yeah. Poe body's never. No. This is from WHtM in Pennsylvania.

Pennsylvania Greyhound Bus passengers. Sorry, I've got my intonation. All wrong here. Pennsylvania Greyhound Bus Passengers pants catch fire while smoking. Okay. Uh-oh. A Pennsylvania man traveling on a local greyhound bus caught fire while smoking in the bus bathroom. I was going to say, we're smoking on a greyhound bus?

This has got to be a fucking low moment. I don't think they let you do that even in Pennsylvania. Not even in Pennsylvania. Pennsylvania State Police in Newville, say the 42-year-old Philadelphia man was riding the bus eastbound on the Pennsylvania Turnpike on January 14th. When the bus was in the area of mile marker 214.1 in Upper Frankfurt Township, Cumberland County, state police said the passenger went into the bus bathroom to smoke a cigarette. While in the bathroom, state police say the passenger ignatty's pants leading to a larger fire. Please.

That's just like, you know, if you've ever been on a Greyhound bus before, it's never at a high point in your life. No, it's bleak. You're never like, oh boy, I'm on the Greyhound. It's no AM track. It's the great hunt. Hell, it's not even the megabus. Like, it's just not a good time. And you know what?

You're 42. You're weary. You're on the bus. You got ages until they're going to stop at the fucking, probably don't have Buckees there or whatever. But you're making the face Ben Affleck does when the paparazzi catches him outside somewhere. Yeah. What's the deal with all of those?

Are they paid, you know, the ones where he's like he's got a bunch of Duncans or whatever, you know? Oh, yeah. I think that he, became a Duncan spokesperson after those photos. I think they said, look, it'd be, it'd be funny if we did this. Or was it the plan all along? This is how they manipulate us. They make it think that it's our idea.

Oh, you know who I'm talking about. People in marketing. I've definitely seen him say before, like, no, that's just what my face looks like when I'm not doing anything. Yeah. Yeah. And fair enough. I have resting depression face.

I get that all the time. People are like, hey, you're okay? I'm going, yeah, I'm just not having a thought. Sometimes you've got to remember to smile at somebody when you catch them looking at you. Oh, no, it's okay. I'm fine. My face just looks like this. Yeah.

I just sort of, if I don't, if I'm not talking to someone, I just reset to neutral. I go back to go back to the middle of the squash court. I think it is upsetting. It's probably going to be more unnerving for somebody if you have, you look like Norman Bates at the end of Psycho, and then you realize someone's looking at you, and you turn and look at them, and then a big smile forms on your face.

Yeah, slowly, slowly creeping up. Don't worry, everything's normal. I'm fine. The bus pulled over, the passenger was taken to UPMC Carlyle for treatment. State police say the pasture was cited for disorderly conduct. Come on. The punishment is that he was taken.

had to go to hospital because he caught on fire. His pants caught on fire. In a greyhound bus toilet, which is probably like bottom of the list of North American toilets. It's not a... It's got to be nasty. He's getting some sort of insane infection in that burn. But, no, he's receiving a range of punishments here. Number one, had to write a greyhound.

Number two, burned in the toilet. Number three, they put in the paper. that you were in a Greyhound bus toilet. They put it in the paper, you know. Number four, the way that all the other passengers looked at you as they loaded the gurney onto the ambulance, you know, that's never going to be on your deathbed. And there's going to be a little ghostly army

like Vigo Mortensen leads at the end of Lord of the Rings, except it's all going to be the other passengers of that Greyhound, being so fucking disappointed. some of them aren't going to get to a funeral they were headed to. Yeah, true. Why did you miss the funeral? Well, this guy just dipshit. This guy couldn't fucking go another hour without a smoke.

No one is going to tell that story from an even vaguely sympathetic point of view towards you. No, it's going to be like, ah, a guy was having a terrible day, just really need to light up. They're going to start the story with some fuckhead, some dickhead, some dickhead, some dipship, some moron. I guess it's okay that I miss. Some fuck wit. I guess it's okay that I missed my custody hearing. It could be worse like the guy who burned his dick on the bus. Oh, man.

Because you know he's sitting down because they're really uncomfortable to stand in. He could be standing up, you know. You know, he's asht on the pants. He's started, he's panicking, you know. Maybe in his urge to brush the ashes off, he's dropped the cigarette onto his jeans. Kind of a bumbling Mr. Bean situation in there. I'd love to know what kind of pants. He's falling over.

I'd love to know what kind of pants he was wearing. Like, was he wearing jeans? Was he wearing like a nice, a nice loose white cotton pants? Was he wearing the bottom half of like a Nike track suit from the mid 90s? Well, I didn't think, I think jeans would take a while to actually catch fire. I think they would smold her for a little bit and it would give you enough time to. Yeah, I think he's wearing something more flammable. Yeah, man.

That's just, let's make it a bad day. Unbelievable worse. Oh, my PVC gimp suit under my track suit is melting. Yeah, maybe he's just wearing one of those like unbelievably synthetic like 80s fabrics. Chafon, chafon pants. Just like lights up like, you ever do a science experiment as a kid where you light a tea bag on fire? Yeah. It just immediately spreads through the whole thing.

Maybe he's like, what an amazing day. Went to the thrift store. I got these incredible chiffon pants. I look fabulous. I am looking so good. Time to have a cigarette. You know what? I think everything.

is going to be okay. Also, the doors on those things are pretty hard to wrangle with. Like, it's either the concertina style or it's like an inwards opening door or whatever. Like, you're yelling in there because you're dicks on fire. You're struggling to get the door open. It's, uh, someone is having a perfect like, I'll have whatever he didn't have. No, I won't have whatever he had. Whole boss is laughing.

Yeah. He probably, whoever. is on the bus that has the funny thing to say he probably had a better one. I'll not have what he is having. Whatever he had, I'll not have it. Check please. Look, we've got two more stories left in the document. I want to give you guys a choice because both of them are difficult for different reasons.

Okay. All right. One is a sort of tough moral quandary of a type that we've faced before and the other is a trend, trend watch. You know I'm going to, you know I'm going to be saying trend watch. Yeah, okay.

Good. Andrew, do you do have a right to a veto as per the charter that we've laid down on this podcast? I could not possibly disagree with the lady. The charter is that we just do the same thing between the whole time.

All male cast members can veto all female cast members' decisions. It's time for trend watch. Everybody put on your magneto psychic reinforcement helmets. We should do a version of the trend watch theme that is just also the coffin watch theme. The evil laughter lightning crashing. Get stronger. Get callous. Get like a mental callous on your brain. Brain callous. Like me. It doesn't even affect me anymore. It's just sliding off in there.

Every day I hold holding my. my mind to the grindstone of the algorithm, you know. So, I've become a code. I got, oh, I meant to send you a video before, Lucy, of, um, it was, it was a whole bunch of different AI generated pillows. And you had to choose which one you had to sleep on for like a month or whatever. Not a bed, just pillows. Well, it's a, it's bed on a pillow.

You have to use the pillow. You get paid a million dollars if you use it, but also you just got your hair done. so there was like kiwi slices was one another one was like mashed potato and gravy and the middle of the pillow was a huge pool of gravy every day we'd stray father from god's light who it I think like I get being entranced by this that like you're scrolling it comes up and then you're like sometimes you just can't stop and then it's like oh you like this oh yeah it's like this so much more of this like it's we've sort of been doing this like

A, B testing of all the craziest AI shit until they've found something that like, we have some sort of hyper evolutionary response to where we don't know why it fascinates us, but the brain is just like, well, I got to see where this goes. Yeah, I got to see what bed. The thing I don't understand is the people that are in the comments be like, mashed potato that are answering the question. Like, why? Yes.

Who do you think is going to look at the information that you've provided in the response? Oh, I'm going to pick ground beef bed. I hope all my friends see that that I chose ground beef bed. Holy shit. Tiffany chose ground beef. Sorry, I'm just delaying until we get to the trend watch.

Have you guys seen the curling controversy from the Winter Olympics? A dirty fucking cheating Canadian. Is that what you're going to say? Yeah. So the accusation is that one of the Canadian curling teams that like lead curler,

the curlsman, booped the stone. the curling stone gave it like a little prod Like a little nudge And then He was like What are you fucking talking about

Fuck you are Kill you to the Swedish people That accused him And they've got broadcast footage From Swedish TV or whatever Where it just looks for all the world From a like perfectly oblique Like 90 degree angle

Like he's booping it It looks like You can see him touching it After the release And once it's over the line You can see where the line is In the video too It makes it like very clear.

I don't know. I'm not an expert. I think it's a boring, tedious sport for losers. But it does look for all the world like they've pooped it. And now the Canadian team are like, oh, no, no, no, no. They've set up the camera specifically in a tricky angle to make it appear that way. The tricky angle being the clearest possible angle to see it from. I don't fucking know.

You don't know. You know what's real? You don't know who's in the right? I'm, if I was, you know, forced to choose between who I trust more of the Swedes and the Canadians. I'm picking a Swede every time. You're picking a Swede? I'm picking a Swede.

You don't think Canadians are trustworthy? I think they're too close to the US. I think sharing a border with the US makes them... Maybe it depends where they live in. That makes them... They're dealing with that strife there. Quebecwa. I'm not trusting in no Quebecua.

Exactly. We don't know whether or not this booper. The booper of the stone was Quebecua. Yeah. If he's from French Canada, get him out of here. If he can read it. the Canadian, the Quebecois versions of the street signs in French. I don't fucking trust you.

Serum food, business news. Bell, flavors and fragrances identifies 2026 micro trends. Okay. Mm-hmm. Globally. I'm going to be honest, the recent trends we've been getting, they do feel pretty broad.

Yeah. Yes. Well, I thought it was time to doad in. I was worried that people, we weren't giving them enough, like real, actionable information that they could use specifically in their daily lives. So we're dialing in a little bit here. I'm doing the micro trend hand just out.

Globally inspired flavors, plant-based habits, wellness and playfulness are among the 26 trends, bell flavors and fragrances, ink, identified through its Spark Trends platform. Fuck you. The company's first trade category, Globetrek, sees consumers embracing authenticity to adopt appreciation for the craftsmanship behind flavors and fragrances connecting consumers to diverse cultures. Similarly, the company predicts consumers will seek foods that celebrate cultural heritage and practices.

I like to celebrate food that doesn't have a heritage. Personally, for me, I don't really want to deal with culture or heritage. Yeah. I want something that's like sprung forth from nothing that signifies nothing at all and doesn't exist in a context. Like a rugby muscle milk. Ideally, if the food has been extruded at some point of the process. Yes.

I would like it if the food was made out of ingredients that I don't know about, but they have been processed together into a single substance. That's erasing the significance, the history, the relevance of any of the ingredients. And then extruded into a shape that does not exist in, nature. Well, it's funny that you say that because you were talking in our, you were talking to Lucy the other day in our group chat about Korean spam, which I think does meet all of those criteria. Yeah, something that no longer resembles something edible. And there is a beautiful cube. That are the brand that you were posting, which is the one you can

get like Hanaro Mart and stuff. They got some good flavors. They got a truffle one. A truffle span. A truffle Korean luncheon meat. That's a fun, fun phrase to say. Couple Korean luncheon. And there's a Chapo-Lay one as well. Like, they're doing crazy shit with those flavors and they're good. And you know what? You just keep them in the cupboard. Sometimes you're hung over and you want a little fried spam for breakfast.

You want a spam and cheese toasty. Not a bad option. Probably like the least ethical meat sauce there is to consume in the whole world outside of like... No, it's probably that. Yeah. What, least? Yeah. Which is because you have no idea where that shit's getting sourced, how it's getting whatever.

And then it's just extruded. It's just leftovers, baby. That's exactly how I want my food. Yeah. Firmless, shapeless, historyless. Yeah. I've been doing this recipe where you're like grate up a block of that lunch and meat. And then you stick it on a tray under the grill, you know, get it all crispy.

And then you make like a little gocha jang glaze and you mix it all together. You have that over rice, little cucumber salad on the side. That sounds really fucking good. It's actually really good. So easy. Great weeknight dinner. Man, I'll tell you what, I reckon if you. put a thing of

spam into a blender, it would look disgusting. But I reckon you could get a mince-like substance out of it that would be like 60% fat would make for a very rich bolognese, I think. Worth trying. I'm not going to.

Yeah, okay. I mean, it would work. Although you could probably just grade it and you would get the same results. You could just mash it up. That's what I think. Because you don't want to clean the fucking blender after that. Probably not. You don't want a paste-based bolognais.

But it'll be so fun. It'd be so velvety, the mouth feel. I bet someone's fucking done. There's some YouTube. Oh, no doubt. Yuck! Yucky. Planet Topia, the second trend category,

centers on Ecologic, where consumers will adopt a sustainability mindset which prioritizes products and lifestyles that support zero waste, upcycling and synthetic ingredients. What are you talking about? Lifestyles that support zero waste, upcycling and synthetic ingredients?

We're talking about. Synthetic better? Oh, is synthetic ingredients like lab-grown meat? Oh, maybe. Which I've been fucking waiting. I have been waiting so long. I thought we're getting lab-grown meat like ages ago. I saw it on like the Discovery Channel, like 15 years ago.

Where the fuck is it? Why aren't you 3D printing me a deliciously marbled porterhouse steak? People were real babies about it. They would always have people. They would always like do interviews about it. And people would be like, oh, no, I wouldn't need. that shit. Oh, yuck.

Why not? Why not? They're also like a bunch of states in the US and I know they've tried to do it here are pushing against like, you know, your Veefs and your impossibles and your whatever's using the words like beef and chicken and stuff on their packaging.

I think that a bunch of those won their cases. Like a bunch of stuff had to change its names to not say that anymore. So fucking stupid. Didn't the UK just pass a lot to say oak milk can't be called oak milk anymore? I think the UK did it because they They changed the name of the steak, the steak bake at Greggs.

Sorry? They changed the name of the steak bake at Greggs. Yeah. What's going on in the vegan world? Yeah, okay. Steak at Gregg's changed? What did they call? What do they call it now?

I feel like it's just called something, it's not called steak anymore. Steak. The Steak bake at Gregg's. The steak bake. So Ben, this particular concept as well, every one of these reports that, we read, I say the same thing about, which is, isn't it fun to find such colorful ways to describe concepts that are already very well documented and understood? I feel like this Planetopia one, they've gone a long way to re-describe the concept of

thinking globally and acting locally. Think global, act local. We got this. And I was like, how long was that around for the origins of the phrase, not certain, why attributed to environmentalist David Brower, adopted as a slogan by Friends of the Earth, which he founded in 1969. I was listening to a,

maybe I were listening to an episode of articles of interest. It's like a 99% PI, sorry, 99% of visible spinoff podcast about the history of fashion, and they were talking about like the history of hiking and camping gear or whatever. One of the people that are interviewing,

their grandfather or father, was the inventor of like several types of hiking, camping gear that are now very commonplace. And as an aside, that person is like, oh yeah, my dad came up with the phrase,

leave no trace. It's just such a like, because it's such a kind of universal concept in camping national parks and stuff. Oh yeah, that was him. Yeah, yeah,

he was just like, we need a way to say this. Leave no trace. I don't believe that. Yeah, well, I mean, hard to prove,

I guess. Hard to prove. It's a vegan lettuce steak free, by the way. Vegan lattice steak free In brackets steak free Because it used to be called the vegan steak bake

Fucking grow up So stupid, grow up We got all sorts of shit that we call cheese That probably technically isn't It's a whole other thing It's like a hardened yogurt Hard yoghurt Hard yoghits create

Hard yogh And yes we definitely say it that way You want your yoghit hard In the report's third trend category Consumers will eat. Serving of your hardest yoghurt. I'll have your hardest yogurt. The whole pub quiet's down.

You think your yoghits hard then, do you? My mum made out of yogurt than this. Can't do my mum's a computer. But we can do, he made me yogurt hard. I've had yoghits out of this. And I actually liked them that way. You call that fucking me. I've had Ada yoghuts.

Jason Statham is the yogheter. The consumers are developing habits such as mindful moderation, which includes reducing consumption of sugar, alcohol and ultra-processed foods while opting for portion-friendly formats. The trend similarly includes efforts to find mood-enhancing solutions that may help manage their stress, boost positivity and reclaim balance. Have you tried drinking a beer? Have you tried smoking a joint?

Check out drinking a beer. Come on, having one glass of Temprenio smoking a joint. Something else that changes your mood, that isn't alcohol? Is that the idea? Does they make a second thing? Do they make a new thing? I think we would have heard about it if there was something else. They got a new thing?

You're talking about like yoga? It's not a substance. consumers may also sorry consumers also may utilize bio-optimization strategies to hack their health according to the company such hacks may include

adding adaptogens pre-and-postbiotics nutrient-dens ingredients into their daily rituals and tracking their progress using digital tools fuck sake dude have we good enough to deal with

what are we talking about are you talking about like putting adaptogens and you're, I still don't really know what that is. I don't really understand. I'm excited for like 12 to 24 months from now when we're talking about the latest trend of users demanding functionaless soda. Yeah, can we just take the function out of food?

Yeah, could I have some inert soda, please? Truly, though, we've created this new, like, disordered eating where it's like, I can't eat anything unless it has a function for me. Yeah, unless it's also doing something else. It's doing everything. It's keeping you alive. The beautiful. machinery of your body.

Give you energy. Oh my God. It's all being added to the foods that don't do any of these things anyway. Like we said, these are all things that you will find in just like a regular balanced diet. I get the... Eat some pickled stuff. Yeah.

Some fermented stuff. Just eat some pickled stuff. Make some pickled stuff. Pickles are still in. I know that a lot of this is like a symptom of. utter despair and helplessness in living in misery under capitalism. Sure. Whatever.

Why do I feel like shit all the time? I must just need my collagen beverage. And I guess the reason people are doing this is because they don't have like the time, I guess, or the energy or the will to use active solutions to try and make themselves feel better. So they're choosing something passive like instead of getting regular pasta, they're getting protein pasta and being like, well, I'm looking after my body. even though I'm just, the only thing I've done is made a slightly different consumer choice. Maybe spent like a dollar more on it or whatever, but you're not.

But I have a sense of control. Yeah, and you're giving yourself a sense of control by a consumer choice. That sounds like something that a different podcast would have a really smart take on. Like an observation about of some kind. Whatever happened to drinking one yacled every four months and thinking, that'll be good for my tummy. Yeah. And then going on with your fucking life, you know?

Have a yacled. I don't think I've had one of those in, yeah, a long time. Do they actually, like, I don't think I've ever, like, I eat a fair bit of, you know, pickled stuff in the course of my life. Love a pickled thing generally. I've never been consciously aware of like, oh, my gut biome right now is great or my butt, but guy. My butt guy. My butt guy. My gut biome is bad.

I've never gone through a period of my life. I'm like, oh, dude, I got to fucking sort out my gut biome. I don't think I have like markers of whether or not anything needs improvement to compel me to go and improve it. Mr. Normal tummy. Okay, but you have always had a bad tummy. Do you go through periods where you're like, yeah, that ecosystem down there right now is thriving? Do you have high periods? Maybe.

When I was vegan, my gut biome was great. But I think that was just a byproduct of doing the most basic thing, which is eating a lot of vegetables and legumes. Yeah, okay. Yeah. I wasn't having any adaptogens or, you know, gut biome drinks. No probiotics. You might have been having adaptogens, but maybe none of them were in your mountain dew, you know?

Maybe. Yeah. Maybe I just needed them in the dew, you know. I don't know about you guys, but whenever I picture, whenever I hear the phrase gut by my picture a like journey to the center of the earth style floor and fauna living deep deep beneath the earth crust and they're all different because they're down there

do you guys? I'm picturing the little cartoon guys from like the probiotics ads. Oh like the blue guys? The blue guys that are like fighting the red guys Yeah they look like M&Ms sort of transparent M&M type guys. Yeah, sure. Andrew?

I'm picturing Osmosis Jones. He's shooting the bad, the bad guys, you know. But then there's too much gunfire and I go, ooh. Oh, Tommy. I'm going to the toilet. My problem is it's very difficult for me to figure out like what causes of things are good and bad and what my biomes up to. I think mainly I'm just having the kind of reaction that is pretty normal for being stoned and eating a really big bowl of ice cream with a chopped up butterfinger over the top of it at 12.45 a.m. in my bet.

Yeah. I think actually what happens to me after that is quite normal you'll find. But I think if you're able to do that and then mostly get about your day normally the day after, probably that means, it's fine. Like your baseline level is probably pretty good. Purely playful trend emphasizes nostalgia, which brings memories of the past into the present. Fuck off.

What do you, now nostalgia? Nostalgia, which brings memories of the past into the present. What do you think a memory is? That is, yeah, every one of these, it's just how many more words can we use to describe an already understood concept? These people get paid so much money. So much money. This is just nostalgia. Nostalgia.

You're saying it wrong. It's nowstalgia. Oh. Yeah, it's just nowstalgia. Which is where you're bringing memories of the past into the present. Yeah. Nostalgia, I think, is when you bring memories of the past into, I don't know, somewhere else.

As a result, manufacturers are developing innovations that are simultaneously familiar and new. Quote, going into the new year, we continue to see our macro trends shine across the globe, but it's the microtrendes, those region and market-specific happenings unfolding in new and dynamic ways, said Kelly Hines, chief marketing officer. Younger U.S. consumers, for example, are optimizing their health and reach for products containing functional ingredients that alter mood and promise states of relaxation focused energy and more. Having a beer.

Having a beer. Having a beer. It does all that. It does all that. And it simultaneously feels old and new when you have a beer. That's what's amazing. I feel like I've done this my whole life. I feel like I was born to do this.

Yeah. But you're also like, oh, like a passion fruit pastry sour. Yeah. I love this. I love that you have the language for talking about beer now. It's so good. Man. A lot of people moving pieces of paper around in the world, aren't they?

Yeah. And for what benefit? To be read on a podcast. Yeah. Thank you so much for listening to the podcast. Oh, that's it. Oh, we're done. We are out of here.

You are hearing this bonus episode because it is freemium freeboree. And you will get, I think, one more after this, I think, and then it's back. It's a short month. It's a short month. we do do the free month in the shortest month of the year if you like what you're hearing and you would like to have two episodes every month you can do that patreon.com slash bonavista don't forget about the live show if you are within a say

500 kilometre radius or you've got some points with Qantas or something you know don't go to Sydney if you don't need to yeah yeah wait till we come to you we're definitely coming to you Perth Whink Adelaide Live show

Whink! Darwin would be fun though We probably have like 30 lessons in Darwin Maybe Let us know if you're a listener in Darwin I would love an excuse

to go up there Otherwise we will talk to you very soon Bye Bye Bye Bye