Boonta Vista - UNLOCKED BONUS EPISODE: Jim's Wet Dome

Episode Date: December 30, 2019

We're on break! Instead, enjoy this unlocked bonus episode from our Patreon (www.patreon.com/BoontaVista) Ben and Theo take you for a journey through mechanical screams, the death of the world, race science, collaborative toileting, and the many services Jim from Jim's Mowing can and will render - whether you want him to or not. Support our show and get an extra bonus episode like this every single week by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista

Well, this is terrifying. Welcome to episode 114, a bonus episode of Buntavista, the show that you know and love that has no surprises. Nothing different ever happens on this show. And it's just the normal show for everybody. You're here with me, Theo. And we've got one of those classic Theo scenarios that you hear at the beginning of every episode. We're here on a 1950s corn farm. I'm a 1950s corn farmer. I'm a 1950s corn farmer. I'm sitting in my bed, still wearing comically sized overalls, smoking a comically sized pipe inside with the windows closed. And I am mourning the loss of my wife,

who I did not respect at age 28 to tuberculosis. She bore me no children. And then suddenly there's a hush over the entire homestead. The dogs being noisy until now, suddenly quiet. Looking over the cornfields, there's a breeze blowing through it, but there's no wind to speak of. Seems like there's too many scarecrows in the field, but I'm not quite sure. There's a deadly mist over my mind. But then there suddenly, looking all the world, like my dead wife, running through the cornfields.

But feet not quite making contact with the ground, the corn parting before she reaches it. She's running, she's through the door, she's up the ground, the corn parting, before she reaches it. She's running, she's through the door, she's up the stairs, and she's all of a sudden upon me, it's Ben. That was beautiful. How's that? That's a normal intro to do for this show, Buntavista, whatever it is. Now, you know that I would never criticize you. Okay. And I just want to start out before I criticize you by saying that that was a stunning piece of short fiction, I'm vividly told. Sure. I mean, you have kind of lined it up that there is a criticism beforehand.

That's sort of made whatever, whatever positivity. Does it ring hollow? Not so much that it rings hollow. I just feel I'm distracted. I'm, I'm waiting for the hit. All right, well, I mean, I just, again, got to say it. Thank you. But are we absolutely certain this is bonus episode 114.

My first squam with that is, we don't really number the bonus. Fuck off. My second issue is that I also thought that last week was main episode 114. Yes, and now we're in this week. That doesn't make any sense to me. Right, but the episode, this is the episode that I wasn't on. So, that makes sense to it. The bonus comes after the main. I just feel like that that that that that that that that that that tho tho th. I'm not th. I'm not th. I'm not th. I'm not th. th. th. th. thi thi thi thi, I'm not thi, thi, I'm not tho. tho. Fo. Fo, tho- I'm not tho- I'm not tho- Fo- Fo- Fo- Fo- Fo- Fo-focococou fu fu. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. thi-I-I's thi-I's thi-I's thi-s. thi-s. thcocuucocucocucocuc. th. th. th. th. thi-a-s. thcocuc. thi-focu. Fthat makes sense to it. I just feel like that when Andrew does it and again I'm not criticizing you and I'm not going to compare you to him

and everything you do. Doing the best I can I'm just like you know first first time, actually so a second time, don't go back in the first time. No I don't believe the first time the first time, and only time for the second time. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th don't th don't thi thi thi thi the first the first the first the first thi thi don't don't the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first first the first first first the first first first first first the first first first. the first. I don't the first. I the first. I the first. I the first. I the first. I the first. I the first. I the first. I the first. I the first. I the first. the first th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the first time. the first time. the first time. the first time. the first firsttime and only time for the second time. I think what Andrew usually does is he just says this is a bonus episode. A bonus because he's sick of your shit, Ben. Long-time listeners of the show be well aware that I have some issues with the numbering system of the podcast. And frankly to have it rear its ugly head again here with you, in what should be a sacred space, a Ben and Theo episode, the first time that this has ever happened. The first time we've ever been alone together, I'd say.

I don't think that's true. It's been, oh, maybe if you count your farts as another person, it's never happened. And I don't. That would be weird to confer personhood on your farts. So I think what has happened in the past. I think we've definitely had a Theo and Lucy episode that didn't happen. That existed, but doesn't. No. I've definitely been on an Andrew and Ben episode.

Oh, we've all been an Andrew and Ben. So. With Ben. Oh, we've been with Andrew. So I think the only link in the chain that this leaves out, yes. There's never been just a Ben and Lucy episode. Oh, can you imagine? I can't. And I don't want to. Delightful. Freewheeling is certainly the word that I would use for. I'm like this, which so far has been a very rigorous, structured episode of a podcast.

Well, that's what you get when you put Theo at the helm. I've got all the tools, Dan. I've got all the controls. I am twiddling with the knobs to make sure all of the levels are correct. Well maybe keep your hand off the knob for just one second while we record this podcast. I make no promises. Uh, welcome to, uh, Budapista. This is a podcast where we examine the week's news. Mm-hmm. Is that true? I think the week's news, or perhaps last week's, last week's news, uh, could be

be, uh, last week tonight. That's the name of our podcast And something from a little earlier. That's the little little subtype Our job here is to take in a scant glance glance at The politics, yep, and also culture. Yeah. And you can't go wrong with culture. Oh, sorry, did I interrupt your segue?

No, no, that's fine. I'll just rewind, pretend, I'll cut that out. So, now, um, uh, speaking of whatever that out. So, now, speaking of whatever that was, Ben, have you played control yet? Because I really want to play control. I really want to play control, but I'll tell you how much money I don't have. Uh-huh. The cost of the game control. Sure. The cost of any new release, triple A game is the amount of money that I don't have. And just for listeners outside of Australia, how much is that for a AAA new release?

You get it out of the wrapping from JBHIF. Well, I think you could maybe, if you did like a price match thing, if you went into an EB games and you said, well, someone here is having a sale sale so could you please match this? You might be able to get it for, I don't know, 80, 90 bucks? It's simply that easy to buy a video game that I will spend 10 hours on before getting frustrated or bored or forget that I was in the middle of playing a video game because my brain is full of holes the size of a baby's fist. Sure. But maybe, maybe it's because I'm sort of living control vicariously through other people

while I finish this fucking uni degree, which is almost done by the way. Which is so close. I'm so close. Please don't make this. That I was looking through the unexplained noises page on Wikipedia. And I thought it just... Oh, it's so good. It's so wonderful. Like, it's truly up there with the things that I can just go and reread, along with the Halifax explosion. Have you ever read the Wikipedia list of common misconceptions?

No. That will fucking take a good 20 to 30 minutes of your evening and it'll just, it will rock your world. I have read it multiple times, I can't remember anything that's on it. I haven't learned a thing, but the process of reading it is just a wild thrill. I'm going to give that a go. The one that I will come back to like once every two years is like the timeline of the

far future. Oh, that's a good one. Which is absolutely crushing. For you, that seems like a very bad idea. It's an irresponsible read. You should need a license if you're a Theo and you want to read that page. And if you came into my department of Theo licenses and you were the theo that you are, I wouldn't give you that license. And you'd be within your rights to recall that from me.

Yeah. But I was reading, and one that caught my eye is a little little sound called the Forest Grove sound, Ben, and I thought this would tickle Ben's fancy. I'm always thinking of things that would tickle Ben. Thanks so much. Now the forest grove sound was an unexplained noise described by the Oregon as a mechanical scream,, heard in Forest Grove, Oregon in February 2016. So how's that buddy of bread so far? Oh, I am. My laptop is levitating and I'm not going to tell you by which mechanism.

Oh, phenomenal. For whatever that word is. And I'm just going to go off the Wikipedia article because it actually summarizes a whole bunch of different articles in a very concise way. In February 2016, a high-pitched noise was heard at night in Forest Grove, Oregon. The department of forestry determined that their equipment was not the cause of the sound. The noise was first shared with Dave Nemea by a forest grove resident who posted a video of it on the city's Facebook page. The Washington Post described the noise thi noise th th th th th thii noise thi noise thi noise thi noise thi noise thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the thi thi thi the noise the noise the the thi the thi their thi thi the noise the noise their thi-aui-aicicicicicicic-a their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their a video of it on the city's Facebook page.

The Washington Post described the noise as sounding like a giant flute played off pitch, car breaks or a steam whistle. So any one of those three things, it could be a steam whistle, could be a giant flute played off pitch. You know what's interesting is that to me, two of three of those are very unpleasant sounds but I don't mind the sound of a steam whistle. No, I mean that's knockoff time isn't it? It's certainly quit in time. It's quit in time and we're down the big tale of the dinosaur.

But it goes on, NBC News described as akin to a bad one-note violin solo broadcast over a microphone with non-stop feedback. Sounds bad. That's not what a steam whistle sounds like to me. No, that certainly sounds like something that's full of psychic potent. You're absolutely right. Really. It was described by the Oregonian as sounding like a mechanical scream and

reportedly lasts from 10 seconds to several minutes. Wow. The fire department of Forest Grove did not consider the sound to be a safety risk, but they would say that. They're in the pocket of mechanical scream. So, sure. Big mechanical scream. Big mechanical scream. The noise occurred near Gales Creek Road. Neither the city of Forest Grove Public Works Department nor the fire department were able to explain the noise. According to Northwest National, there was no problem with gas lines in the forest grove at the time. In February 2016, Andrew Dawes, a professor of physics, not psychics at Pacific University. that might have been useful. Mapped the locations where the noise had been heard.

Although the results were inconclusive, it did not suggest a single location. That is horrifying. Ah! Throughout February 2016, approximately 200 calls were made to the Forrest Grove Police Department according to Captain Mike Herb who said... Oh no no sorry he's American so I believe it's Captain Mike Herb. Sorry I have my apologies. We're known for our racially sensitive pronunciations on this show who said that most of the calls

were suggesting explanations for the sound, ranging from frogs to aliens to Bigfoot. Huh, one of those. Bigfoot's got himself a fluke, but he's not very good at playing it yet. It's got big fingers. In late February 2016, the Forest Grove Police Department announced via Facebook that the noise did not pose a safety hazard. They're very big on saying this repeatedly, over and over. Do not investigate the noise.

Do not look into the noise. There is no danger. Remain in your homes until the noise finishes. And the police announced they were halting their investigation until further information appeared. However, after February 2016, the noise was not heard. The final point plotted on Doors's map on February 27th, 2016, and the police and fire departments closed the case. Dave Nemeier, the Forest Grove Fire Marshal, suspected

the noise to be a faulty attic fan or heat pump. Oh come on. Case closed. That's it. That's f- That's fucked. The spooky noise that sounded like a violin being played over a fucked-up microphone that cannot be pinpointed to any, anyone. It's just a it's just a fan. It's your CPU fan you're running too many apps. Your apps are making a fan go wild. Someone was mining Bitcoin but it's 2016 so you can't do that. So in my experience, in my experience is a man who reads the Wikipedia articles for unexplained noises. And I can't imagine someone more qualified.

To be perfectly honest. Thank you so much. Subject matter expert, I think. It's usually like tectonic, right? That's what most of these things turn out to be. All glaciers. Oh yes. And a lot of glaciers?

In Oregon? I haven't checked to be. Or glaciers. Oh yes, a lot of glaciers in Oregon? Um, I haven't checked the map. You probably, you've been to Oregon, haven't you? You've been to Portland. Many a time. Uh, two times. Hmm. Three times. Have you seen Portlandier? Oh, it's exactly like that, dude. Lots of wacky guys. They're keeping Portland weird. Hipsters? Yeah, they wouldn't call themselves that, but we know what they are.

Sure. So I'm looking at a fault map of the state of Oregon. I think that's how they said. Yep. But I don't know where Forest Grove is. So really this was a pointless exercise. Well, I mean, first of all, you fucked up because it's not on the map. Forest Grove? Yeah, no, it was earlier, but it has been unwritten. Oh, of course.

And no one knows how or why? No. But it did erase itself. Interesting. Well, that's a quality sound. I've not heard of that one before. There is a video on it. I wonder whether, now I don't have, I don't really any idea of how all this podcast technology works, but maybe we can try and edit that in. Oh, I'd love, yeah, chuck that in. I'll pretend to have heard it. Ben, speaking of things that are absolutely fucking inexplicable, do you want to talk about Jim's mowing for a while? I would love very much to talk about Jim's

mowing for a while. I have driven through Forrest Grove. Uh, shit. George and I drove through Forest Grove because we were staying with Friend of the Show Guardian journalist Jason Wilson in two suburbs over basically or two towns over I don't really know how America works and then we we drove out through Cornelius and then through Forrest Grove and then up to the bloody 26. How about that? Hmm, how's the traffic on the 26th? It was a smooth, beautiful drive, all the way up the 26th through Elsie to eventually the Astoria bridge, stunning bridge. Very long. One of the best in Los Angeles tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha thiiiiiiiiii. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thoenole. thoenole. thoenoli.. Very long. One of the best in Los Angeles.

Yep, that's it. I would love to talk about Jim's mowing. I'm sorry I got distracted by knowing that I, had I only been there three years earlier, might have heard a spooky sound. He might have. But you weren't. You didn't.

So. But Jim's Mowing, let's say a perfectly normal part of our lives in Australia, right? Yeah, so I think if you were trying to describe Jim's Mowing to American listeners, you know the movie Wally, who's the little robot Wally? That certainly do. How there is one company, I believe they're called Buy and Large, big and large, Buy and Large, I think it's called Buy and Large and how they make absolutely everything. Yes. Well, imagine if instead of buy and large it was a man called Jim.

And he has Jim's mowing. Yep. He has a beard which I think is instrumental for you to understand. Yes, he's a bearded man. Is he wearing a hat? I think he might be wearing a bucket hat? Jointy little hat, that's right. So there's Jim's mowing. There's Jim's accountants. Yep, there's Jim's concreating. Jim's cleaning, Jim's antennas, Jim's building inspections. Yep, that's right. Jim's dogwash. Yes. So Jim owns just about everything. Now some of those things I've listed may not be related to the actual gym, but the Jim's dogwash is. And then I can say for certain. So yeah, that's how I would explain Jim's Mowing. Jim's Mowing is the top of a pyramid that is the emblematic pyramid of an empire, and at that top there is a baleful eye, and Jim sits within the pupil of that eye.

There absolutely is. I mean, I don't know a single person who has ever hired the service of any of the gyms businesses, but they are absolutely ubiquitous. They're everywhere. They're sort of like the Hawkins' water and power of Australia. And they're never far. That's the thing you need to know about about gyms mowing, gym services. They're just right outside.

Anytime you need them, they're there for you. There always seems to be one on every corner. They really do. And that's heartwarming, I think. But you know what else is heartwarming? The founder of Jim's Mowing will make you smarter and save the world. Now, that's a headline that I definitely saw today while I was going about my business, but did not take the time to read. And now, the the the the the to the to the the to the to the the the to the the the the the the to their, their, their, their, th. the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, thi, thi, the, the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and thi, and thi, and thi, thi, and thi, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, the an thean. thean. thin, thean.ean.ean. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. the an time to read. And could you tell me, does it live up to the promise of such a tantalizing headline? I would say that it possibly goes in a number of directions that you would never expect. Thrill me. That's what I ask you. So I'm going to hit you with a quote first up. This is from Big Jim himself. We're going to change the world. If my theory is correct... Oh no.

This will change everything. This will ruffle feathers. Don't you think anything else? You ask Galileo? You ask Darwin. This is going to cause an uproar. That's why Jim of Jim's mowing. It's safe to say that he has some ideas on how things could be. I'm going to hit you with some of them. You've probably seen a picture of Jim Penman's face on the sides of his trucks. There are thousands of them driving around the country, mowing your lawns, fixing your antennas, washing your dogs. We ticked all of them off. Ben. In the the the the the the the the the the th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thoome, thoome, thoom, thoome, thoome. Oh, thoom------------------------------------------------------------------------n. Oh, thooooozyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyn. Oh, thee. Oh, theo'' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' thousands of them driving around the country, mowing your lawns, fixing your antennas, washing your dogs. We ticked all of them off, well done, Ben. In the picture, Jim has a thick beard and he's wearing a bucket hat.

You are a five from five. Thank you so much. And here's the thing. He's always smiling. He's a jolly jolly feller. For a posterize image of a man's face, it does radiate a genuine warmth. It does, and we're talking about a physical warmth here. Yes, it is hot to the touch. It's actually physically difficult to stand near anything with the gym's logo on it. But quite hard to avert your gaze.

I'm sitting across from Jim at his training center in a sprawling complex in the foothills of the Dandenong Ranges. He started his business, Jim's mowing, back in 1982. He's aged a bit since then, and he's lost the beard. Oh. But as he tells me his plans for world domination, he's still smiling. Holy fuck, that's the creepiest thing I've heard. Did you say training complex? I believe, hang, let me just try.

Sprawling complex, foothills of Dananong Rangers, so not training complex. Both of those are terrifying. Constantly reconfiguring itself, finding new forms, Euclidean and non-Euclidean. Hey, sometimes you've got to have both. You really do. That's what I learned at business school. The story of Jim's rise to fame and fortune is already a matter of public record. Cash-strapped uni student begins a lawnmowing business to help pay his tuition. With an initial budget of $24, business grows to become a gardening Leviathan. They can't be choosing the word Leviathan by accident there, surely not.

With over the 3,000 franchisees throughout Australia, New Zealand and the UK, Jim's group provides 35 different services from Jim's bookkeeping to Jim's Bathry service. I would die to hear the full list of all of the services. Oh boy. Jim's karate lessons. Maybe we could just... I would die to hear the full list of all of the services. Oh boy. Jim's karate lessons. Maybe we could just find it and list it out at the end. I don't know.

At 60, he's still heavily involved in the running of the business, which generates an estimated annual revenue of $320 million. So I'd be ready to rest on his laurels, I would think. I love those laurels. But what most people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people the the the thiiii thi thi thi thi thi thi to to to thi to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the the the the the the the the the the the the the.m. Jim. Jim. Jim. Jim the. Jim. Jim tooome. Jim. Jim to be ready to rest on his laurels, I would think. Love those laurels. But what most people don't know is that Jim never wanted to be a businessman. He started mowing lawns to raise cash to fund his research for a PhD in history at Latrobe University. The unit wouldn't, the uni wouldn't give him any money because, according to Jim, his ideas were too radical, too wild. Oh no. Jim's research is concerned with the rise and fall of human civilizations.

He tries to explain why certain historical events have happened to certain people's at a certain point in time. To do this, he conducts experiments on populations of rats and guinea pigs. Messes with their diets and family units, and if all goes according to plan he'll be doing the same to be a struggle now. Jim's been giving money, so far over $1 million to a team of scientists at Latrobe. To continue the research university turned its back on three decades ago. To put simply, Jim has a theory that the big shifts in society, wars, revolutions, influence of religion, etc., are explainable by changes in brain and hormone activity. Oh my God.

Actually, can we just quickly pause because I just spilled my beer everywhere. This is the second time this is after the other podcast. I'll be right back. because they just spilled my beer everywhere. This is the second time this is after the podcast. I'll be right back. I'm not just going to have a sip of mind from my Buntu Vista Socialist Club. Okay, we'll have to edit that out. That's not on the letterhead anymore. But it's a lovely little beer cuzy.

Cubby holder. What you call that? And if you look at the bottom of it it says says it says the the the the the the the bottom the the bottom th says says says says says says says says the bottom of it says says says says that? And if you look at the bottom of it says this is the beer's ass, which I find to be its most flattering feature. They're out of back. I'm so sorry about that. That's all right. Did I hear another beer being opened? No, you did not. I still have about a third of a beer. Oh, it's tragic.

It is sad. I've got to stop so precariously placing my beer. Hmm. Sorry, just to leap straight back in. As an example, Jim cites Ward War I. According to Jim, the Great War was brought about by widespread hormonal change in the Austro-Germanic people of the 1880s. Which made the more aggressive and warlike. In this way, Jim can explain why Rome, rose and fell, why Stalin was able to stay in

power for so long and why the West is in a really bad state. Oh no, this is going to get worse, isn't it? Oh, you have no idea. Uh. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th thi th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th th th th th th th th th thi. th thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the that that that that that the the West is in a really bad state. Oh no. Oh, this is going to get worse, isn't it? Oh, you have no idea. Just how he identifies these hormonal changes so many years later, and without any physical evidence, only Jim knows. Except by studying these patterns, he can predict the future and is developing a drug to change it. Jim's ideas, based on to change it.

Jim's ideas. Based on the scientific stream. Jim's ideas. That's Smiley, Jolly fellow. Based on a scientific stream called epigenetics. Epigenetics studies changes in genes which are not programmed into the DNA sequence. In practical terms, if a scientist or a gardener come scientist, that's in the article, was able to identify the link between particular genes and behaviors,

they could alter people's behavior by modifying the genes. Jim sees it as the final frontier of scientific study. For years, people thought that genes were just genes. They didn't realize they could be switched on and off. He's got big plans for humanity once the drug has been developed. Why haven't we been visited by intelligent aliens? He asks me a little later. Why is that? It must be trillions of Earth like planets across the universe. Why hasn't some race gone and spread into space? I think one of the more plausible reasons is that when any civilization rises past a certain stage of technology, it becomes easier and easier to destroy itself. A lot of his

initial testing has been focused on developing treatments for alcohol addiction, drug addiction, over-reading, lots of this other stuff. Jim thinks it could be ready as early as next year. But Jim wants to change more than that. He wants to change people's personalities. Okay. Change how they think and act. Jim's equilibrium. Mm-hmm. How they see the world.

He believes that Jim's drug can make people more focused, more hardworking, more intelligent and creative. He is entirely describing the drug from... Uh-huh. Equilibrium. No. What's the thing? You think you're riddlin? As the movie takes the drug and then you like sees colors and that lets him do maths.

I haven't seen it. Limitless? Limitless. He's doing the limitless drug. Many have tried this before. But it could be as simple as something as a, like a nasal spray. Could be a treatment, a drug, a pill you swallow. There are implications that this could raise IQ.

Where are we? There aren't, bud. Okay. Mm-hmm. Well, but Jim thinks that the world needs this drug. He's crunched the numbers and he has a pretty bleak outlook for this planet if he can't get his nasal spray out. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. In the next few years, Jim predicts that the West will continue its economic and moral

decline with China taking over the reins as the big world power, followed by a few thousand years of hegemony from a unified body of African states. What was that the decline that he said for the West West?? th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Uh, th. Uh, th. Uh, th. Uh, th. Uh, th. Uh, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, to, to, to, to, to, too, uh, uh, uh, too, too, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to to to to to to to that the decline that he said for the West? That was economic and moral. Moral decline. Interesting. No, things are famously getting getting worse since we, you know, gave universal manhood suffrage. I assume he's specifically referring to gay marriage, but we have no way of knowing. That is definitely the subtext.

But he is really thinking about this, because by the year 4,000, Jim envisions the world as a Madmax-style apocalyptic wasteland, comprising of poor peasant farmers where women are mutilated by...oh! By clitorodictonomy. Jesus Christ. I'm only going to have one pass at that word. I'm very sorry. And this kind of garbage, which is really what the human race is headed for.

Poverty-stricken peasants. Now he's referring, of course, to African people. There's a lot more of that. So I'm very, I'm very sorry for Jim's the the the Jim Jim Jim Jim Jim Jim Jim Jim Jim Jim Jim Jim Jim Jim Jim for to to to to to to to to to to to to to to toe for toe for toe for toe for toe for toe for toe for to African people there. There's a lot more of that. So I'm very, I'm very sorry for Jim's opinions which will only spiral out from here. But he's doing everything in his power to stop that from happening. A large percentage of the profits that he takes from Jim's Mowing go into a foundation that will continue his research and if his theories are proven correct, save the world. But of course he's wary that the potential are proven correct, save the world.

But of course he's wary that the potential dangers of developing his wonder drug. He worries that it may be so powerful that it could actually bring about the apocalypse. Technology would explode because people would become far more creative and capable by a factor of hundreds of times over. Now, whether that would end up destroying the human race or we would end up spreading across the universe, I don't know. Now this is a nasal spray that he is describing here. Just remind everybody. It's called

guerrilla mindset. And I will say that. Throughout this article, throughout this article, which is from vice, I apologize. I should have said that from the beginning. It is a wonderful article. There's just every third paragraph or so is broken up by a Jim's mowing photo with like some tradies standing in front of big old trailer full of mulch. So Jim's life is a clipped lawn of cold showers, office work, and an almost monastic moderation of his personal habits.

I don't know what that means. See, this is what happens. You got to get it out somehow. You absolutely do. Or else, this is the kind of shit that happens. His website says he has no plans to retire ever. And I'm enjoying the connotation of that. He will not die. He is deathless.

He strictly regulates his consumption of his one and only vice, chocolate. Jim also abstains from sex as much as possible. As much as possible. A limiting sexual behavior is a very powerful driver of temperamental change. Oh my god, you know that you're absolutely right. He doesn't work. He's no fab. He nods gravely. It makes you more driven, hard working, more focused. It doesn't, more focused. It doesn't though. But this seems incongruous when you delve deeper into Jim's family life, since starting the business he has

fathered ten children a number of wives. Oh my God! Possibly not walking the walk, I would say. I asked him how his prodigious progeny production tallied against his dim view of sex. But check this out. Societies that have less sex have more children. I'm not really sure that he's up on the fine details. Yeah, I'm not convinced by that. But he did point to the reproductive explosion during the Victorian era as an example of this.

It's not all doom and gloom in Jim's bedroom, though. He percrugingly admits, I suppose sex is a point in establishing relationships between husband and wife. Ideally, you want to limit it though. I don't know if you do. Well, I think the jury is still out on that. Jim also wrote a book. It's called The Hungry Ape, Biology and the Fall of Civilizations, and Jim self-published it in 1992. We have got to get a copy of that book.

I absolutely agree. I managed to track down a copy of that book. I absolutely agree. I managed to track down a column bit copy of it on Amazon and it makes for some interesting reading. The front cover shows a photo of a gorilla superimposed over a vista of skyscrapers. Amazingly, it didn't sell many copies. Reading the Hungry ape is like stepping back in time. Jim has this idea that different races and ethnic groups have distinct... the hungry ape is like stepping back in time. Jim has this idea that different races and ethnic groups have distinct temperaments.

Oh no. Decided by attributes he refers to as restraint and vigor. Jim is just a villain from a Bioshock game. Yes. He is yelling at you through the PA system as Jim's, I don't know what you call it underwater habitat, so I guess Jim's wet dome floods around you. Uh-huh. Angry, screaming, uh,

minions from Jim's landscaping trying to feed you into a wood shipper he is infuriated that the utopia he's created uh... based on a specific kind of nasal spray has crumbled and he still believes the concept was sound but saboteurs have let themselves in they are not jims they are something No, and they don't have restraint. Because Jim believes that restraint is the temperamental basis of civilization and can account for the domination of white European ethnic groups over the past few hundred years.

No. Yep, buckle up all of the other races have lost out because they lack either restraint or vigor. And throughout... Hulled the other races have lost out because they lack either restraint or vigor. And throughout... Restraint or vigor? So he sort of plots them all on a spectrum. No, it would have to be a... a 2D thing.

A 2D chart, really. Okay, so here's my theory. They're all capitalized. Restraint with a capital R, and vigor with a capital V. So I assume restraint is on the red bar, and vigor is on the blue bar. And you've got to keep those levels open by looting various bins. Drinking various potions. Well, you want Jim's nasal spray. Jim's nasal spray is the only thing.

Restores both restraint and vigor. My fucking God. But there are a lot of comparisons between black people and baboons, and even more about Jews and rats. Oh, fuck! Yeah, this is, this is where it gets really into the weeds. Before now, this has been perfectly normal times. So this is the real deal.

This is, this is absolutely 100% Jim's eugenics. Um, the book reads like a bad piece of propaganda or a weird eugenics experiment. At best you would call the hungry ape ape the scientific equivalent of racial stereotyping. Here are some of the highlights. Jews have traditionally been far more inhibited, more driven by anxiety and insecurity. The key to their success has been a high restraint. And again this is in capital R, like it's an attribute in Dungeons and Dragons. That's exactly right. Which has been linked to their trading skills, as well as hard work.

Black sexual behavior is freer on average. Oh my fucking God. The that of whites. This is the guy from Jim's mowing. Jim's mowing. You've seen him, he's wearing the bucket hat. He's smiling because he knows. Hey. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th is thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi's thioling, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, like thi, like thi, like thi, like thi, like thi, like thi, like thi, like thi, like thi, thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thiii's thi's thi. thi.'ve seen him, he's wearing the bucket hat. He's on the side of like the mowing trailers. He's smiling because he knows. Hey, it's me, the guy from Jim's mowing.

Uh, I can't even, I don't even want to repeat his claims for fear someone will take this audio and attribute it to me. Absolutely. And I promise you I'm, we're like two-thirds of the way through this. We're getting there. Unemployment is higher and occupational success lower, reflecting, alongside racial oppression, a lack of high restraint work ethic and commercial skills. Rates of crimes are higher because of the reduced respect for law and authority in lower restraint groups. On Aboriginals, unsuited in general to the discipline of academic study and of many jobs, they have become a poor underclass.

A high proportion are unemployed and the rest are in menial jobs. So that doesn't sound like good beliefs to have that sounds not good. Yep, agreed. The Jim is concerned with altering the restraint and vigor of the ethnic groups that he believes have been dealt a bum hand in the epigenetic stakes. Um, hmm. This is hard, God. He wants to make the blacks more restrained and the Jews more vigorous.

Oh my God. He wants to change the Aborigines personality so they can function more effectively in our society. And I promise you I'm quoting verbatim from this. Uh, Aboriginals, sick, um, SIC are hunter-gatherers, he tells me. Their temperament is suited to that. They don't work steadily. You need people who can work hard, who can work by the clock.

It's a serious question as to whether they would want to be more like us, or whether they should be more like us. And if they wanted to be successful in society, they would change temperament to be more like Europeans. So, Jim, racism and prejudice are not the reason why many aboriginals around the country are unemployed, unhealthy and disenfranchised, it's because of their temperament. It's not the prejudice that causes the problem in the temperament, it's the temperament which causes the prejudice. Oh.

And this is getting, this is getting to the end of it, I promise you. Jim compares the history of the Jews to prove his point. They've been discriminated against, loathed, persecuted, pogromed. That's they's is is is is their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th, th, them, murdered, forced out of their home after home, biologic they should be the most poor, downshoddened people on earth. Are they? No they're not. Why? Because Jews are different.

They have a certain temperament. But don't worry. He's aware of just how unpeacey his ideas are. And how they will be received if they were ever to gain widespread attention. People with a left-wing orientation with a belief that all people have the same temperament will find it hard if not possible to grasp this stuff, like trying to hold a blob of jelly in their hands.

So I think what he's getting at here, and I am still in recovery. I do apologize to everybody, but this is an article about Jim from Jim's Mowing. And what I think here is that we're not really holding his ideas in our hand because they're too supple. They're too... Yeah, and I think the big problem is... I mean, at least for myself, I can say this is obviously I'm a bit of a left-leaning person, that the problem is that I have these gaps between my fingers and also between my forefinger and my thumb. And so I would love to hold the jelly in there, but these gaps mean that the jelly just

go straight through. And those gaps are,less racist thoughts and they're just slipping on through. And I wish I could keep them there. I simply can't. We can't hold it. Our capability for this is too low. Our restraint is limited. I'm at zero zero on the chart, the graph, the graph. But we need, we simply need more of that, uh, that nasal spray. Oh, Jim's nasal spray. But there's no doubt that Jim firmly believes in what he's doing. He sees himself as a kind of savior, a misunderstood idealist who wants to make the world a better place. Our civilization has achieved a tremendous amount.

I've got 10 kids and every one of them is still alive. Do you know how remarkable that is that sounds almost like a threat? Nobody needs to die of hunger anymore. People don't need to live their life in mindlessless to to to their their their their their to die of hunger anymore. People don't need to live their life in mindless toil. I'd like to spread the blessings to everybody. And my theories seem to show that that's possible. So it's almost pretty heartwarming. Yes, if everything else hadn't come before this.

You mean all of the things that he says and does that he researches that he spends millions of dollars of his own money trying to will into existence. So Jim's Mowing. That's a guy from Jim's Mowing. Yep. It is his lovely little bearded smile. So he's jazzed things up a little bit since then. He's played up the scientific angle a little more in his follow-up to the hungry ape. Restraint and vigor have been replaced by the terms Q and Z. So that's fine. Probably. But the basic premise of the theory is the same. Jim's not sure when his drug will be ready for human consumption.

He says it could take a couple of years or it could take a couple of decades. Whatever the case, he has the dedication and resources to make something happen. I'll be the first person to try it, Jim grins. And now that smile doesn't seem so sweet. No. And I am honestly half looking forward to, half dreading the future where Jim from Jim's mowing ascends to heaven through the pure power of Q and Z and is able to recreate us all in his image reaching into our genes altering a little step in the ladder

here and there. So he's he's gonna do the thing from June where he takes the water of life, which is Jim's nasal spray, and then he becomes able to individually manipulate molecules using the incredible power of his mind. I believe that that's one version of it. I see him crashing back down to earth. At night nobody nobody sees it but suddenly there's an exclusionary zone that extends many miles down the coast which has lengthened bizarrely, teams are sent in.

They do come out, but they come out different. Those who come in, go into the zone, rarely leave. When they do, they will not tell you what they've seen, and only the promise of strange trinkets draws them back in. Now, I have two follow-ups to this. Sure, have you got some thoughts on this perhaps? I would like to read two things from you. The first thing I'd like to read for you is a list. And the list goes as follows. Jim's mowing, Jim's dogwash, Jim's tree and stump removal, Jim's fencing, Jim's blind cleaning, Jim's blind cleaning, Jim's handiman, Jim's car detailing's ths, ths, th's ths, ths, ths, ths, and ths, and thets's thets' thets' thets' thets' thets' thets' thets' thets' thets' thets' thears' thearsarsarsarsarsarsarsarsarsarsars' thearsarsarsketsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsetsets, and taags, anders, anders, anders, anders, anders, anders, anders, anders tearsarsarsarsarsarsarsarsars, anders teasters removal, Jim's fencing, Jim's cleaning, Jim's blind cleaning and repairs, Jim's Handyman, Jim's car detailing,

Jim's antennas, Jim's glass, Jim's bookkeeping, Jim's bookkeeping, Jim's paving, Jim's the computer services, Jim's electrical, Jim's finance, Jim's turbite and pest control, Jim's window and pressure cleaning, Jim's window and pressure cleaning, Jim's a window and. Jim's tested tag. Jim's pool care. Jim's carpet cleaning. Jim's bin cleaning. Jim's plumbing. Jim's skip bins. Jim's bath resurfacing.

Jim's diggers. Jim's building inspections. Jim's locksmiths. Jim's removals. Jim's security. Jim's conveyancing. Jim's heating and cooling. Jim's the traffic control, Jim's hazardous material, Jim's kitchens, Jim's fly screens and blinds,

Jim's photography and drones, Jim's mobile cafe, Jim's real estate, Jim's mobile tires, Jim's mobile tires, Jim's mobile catering, Jim's personal training, Jim's sight and print, Jim's construction, Jim's energy and Jim's mobile mechanics. And you simply can't argue with that success and if your mouth tries to form the words, you'll find yourself physically incapable. I really just want to stress that none of the preamble we were saying about Jim's owning every kind of business and being everywhere is made up. This is a very real phenomenon of Australian.

This is a nightmare that we don't know that we're in. Now my second follow-up to this is from, you might have heard of this before maybe, but I'm going to read you a paragraph from an article Mashable wrote about it, but I don't know if you know this but actor Terence Howard invented his own kind of maths. Oh he did absolutely. Here is this one paragraph. Thank you, Trisha Gil Gilbride from Mashable. How can it equal one? Howard asked Rolling Stone, comma, and the universe. If one times one equals one, that means that two is of no value because one times itself has no effect. One times one equals two because the square root of four is two. So what's the

square root of two? Should be one, but we're told it's two and that cannot be. It can. Now I don't expect you to know the number off the top of your head, but can you give me a close, what's the square root of it to? It's about 1.4 something, yeah. Yeah. No it's two. It's. It's. It's. the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the the square the square the square the square two. the square two. two. two. two. two. two. two. two. two. It's two. It's two. It's two. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's two. It's two. It's two. It's two. It's two. It's two. It's two. It's two. It's a two. It's a two. It's a two. It's a two. It's a two. It's a two. It's a two. It's a two. It's a two. It's a square two. It's yeah. Yeah. No it's two. We're told it's 2 but it should be one and that cannot be. There are a lot of videos on the internet of Terence Howard describing the kind of mathematics that he invented and I urge you to look them up because you will have just a wonderful time. It's I've seen people argue with him about this on Twitter, and they're all just repelled by this invisible force. They're just crashing like waves against his absolutely immovable logic.

It's amazing. He's just like, well, one times one doesn't equal two. So how can five be greater than four? I want to, I love celebrities who have just become absolutely insane. It's... Randy Quaid, great example of a man who lost his entire mind. Hmm. Sure did. They had different kinds of drugs in the 70s, I think. They can just fry your whole brain. Better ones.

But they didn't have the drug from Limitless. Only Jim Smelling will be able to find that one to us. Jim's Pharmaceuticals. Jim's Ascendancy. Oh my God. Jim's dominion will be the government we all live under in 20 years time. Oh speaking of things that are absolutely immortal. Hmm. Hmm. Good a good bit of local news. Yeah, I believe the immortal thing that you're referring to is of course the Cucaburra Queen too.

First of its kind and last. Yes, although it seems like it might be in jeopardy. Now the actual headline on this story omits one crucial detail that is really what makes this story phenomenal. So I'm going to read the caption that it was tweeted out with by an ABC journalist, but not the one that wrote it. Now, this is a tweet from a state

political reporter of the ABC for Queensland I believe. Linking to a story here we go. Get ready. Passenger falls through deck and lands on lap of someone on the toilet in Brisbane paddle wheeler crash. Passenger falls through deck and lands on lap of someone on the toilet in Brisbane paddle wheeler crash. Uh-huh. Now... Let me......... Uh-huh. Now, let me, I'm going to read the opening paragraph of this story here.

Please. One of Brisbane's iconic tourist boats has crashed into an unknown object while carrying about 50 passengers, causing one person to fall through a floor and onto the lap of another passenger on the toilet below. Now, I cannot stress enough that both of these, the tweet linking to it and the lead paragraph of this story, they don't say another passenger that was in the toilet. This wasn't something that was in the bathroom that had someone fall on top of them. This was someone that was on the toilet. This wasn't some that was in the bathroom that had someone fall on the toilet. This was someone that was on the toilet. They were sitting down, pants around their ankles, presumably halfway through turning out of shit, when someone has very dramatically fallen through the roof

above them, landed, I presume straddling them, forcing them to pre-emptively... You can pinch the shit off. Fults or backwards. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I, I th, I th, I th, I th, I to to to to to to to to to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to them, forcing them to preemptively... You can pitch the shit off. I don't know, and I'm not sure which is worse. I think face-to-face is much worse, right? Because at least face-to-face you're both fully aware of the situation immediately. If you're, when you're back to them, you're sort of looking down to see a nude pair of... Oh, I didn't land on a nude pair of- I'm a very soft landing. Wait a second. I didn't land on a nude shitting man.

Tiled floor, my legs with the pants pulled down. Odd odor. Oh... I assume they're mine. So what... Not again. Oh, what really gets me here is the fact that in this story, which has not been updated since, so it was originally published four hours ago, there hasn't been an update to the story, which I thought they might have done.

It is repeatedly referred to as an unknown object that they crashed into. They don't know what it hit. Which I don't understand how that can be true. The impact smashed a hole in the upper deck and tore an upper railing off. How could you not know? And I think I have a theory. I think it might have been, you know how, um, now I don't know if this is scientifically sound, what I'm about saying, but you know how mullet jump

out of the water and they slap on their belly? Hmm. I'm very, I'm very familiar with fish and things of the outside, Ben. You have to tell me that mullet jump out of the water and slap their belly or whatever it is, he said. Do you know this about Mullet? Oh, the wonderful fact about Mullet. So if you see, oftentimes you see a fish jumping out of the water, I don't know if this happens everywhere.

All right, though. But this is something that happens. The Australian estuaries, Mullet will jump out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out the the to jump their to jump to jump their the war, they slap themselves on their belly. Now I was told, as a child, that this was to make themselves fart. And I'm starting to think that might not be true. But they do it. Anyway, what I think happened is that one of the Brisbane River sealicants jumped out to do that and collided with the upper deck of the Cuccaboro Queen too, which is incidentally, the boat, the boat, the boat, the boat, the boat, thiiiolined, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thoom out out out out out out out out out out the, the, toe, toe, toe, toe, to toe, toe, and I toe, and I toe, and I to to to to to to to to to to to toe, and toe, and toe, and the, and the, and the, and the, and th..., th, th, th, th, th, th, th. And, the, the, the, thi. And, the, the, the, the.a.a.a. Wea'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'e. And, the. And, Queen too, which is incidentally the boat on which George's parents got married. Wonderful. Yep. What do you reckon this is a 300, 400 pounder? Well yeah so just a juvenile then. Well they don't, the old ones don't usually go that far downstream. No that's true. They're waiting for you

further up. They're very terr No, that's true. They're waiting for you further up. They're very territorial, the sealacanth. Hmm. Look, I have to be honest with you, I am now trying to see in the Wikipedia page, uh, oh, here we go. A common noticeable behavior in Mullet is the tendency to leap out of the water. There are two two two two two two two two two two two the the th the the the the the the the the the the their are are out of the water. There are two distinguishable types of leaps. Oh, I'm already loving this. A straight, clean slice out of the water to escape predators. Beautiful. You love to see it. And a slower, lower jump while turning to its side that results in a larger,

more distinguishable splash. The reasons for this lower jump are disputed, here we go. But have been hypothesized to be in order to gain oxygen-rich air for gas exchange in a small organ above the pharynx. All right, it's not for farts. But it's close. It had the word gas in it. That's wonderful. Well there you go, a little bit of Nature Corner for you.

Always learning new things on the show, I would say. Every time, every episode. Hmm. Ben, it has been just wonderful hanging out with you. Oh. I've enjoyed this far spookier than expected episode. We'll call this the spooky episode. We will look out for that title on this episode that you've listened to the entire way through.

Yep. And I've already seen, certainly when you clicked on it, I don't know, maybe you've got a Google home and it didn't tell you the name of the episode, oh no it does. Nope, I got nothing for you. Maybe you heard this on internet radio somehow. I don't really get how any of this works. No, no, me either. I'm gonna hit the stop recording button after all of this and then it's gonna zoom around a bunch of pneumatic tubes and fire out into the sound cloud headquarters or wherever it is that we host this thing. Yes, I think we soundify. Stitch of Premium. We are a stitch of premium podcast. Sure if that's one of the things they do. I think so.

Absolutely. I was listening to something on pod bean this morning which sounds disgusting. That doesn't sound right. No, absolutely not. Sounds unhygienic. But we are going to leave you and climb into bed. And even though we've had a horrible article from Jim of Jim's Mowing. Racist Jim, as we will now call him. Possibly the most racist man on earth due to his incredibly powerful drugs. Before we knew that we did hire the services of Jim's sleep studies. Now Jim will watch you sleep. That is a promise. Personally.

Personally. Free. Well, it has a cost. Good night everybody. Good night, everybody.