Boonta Vista - UNLOCKED BONUS EPISODE: King Lizard & The Disfigured Gizzard

Episode Date: May 7, 2020

We're unlocking our bonus episodes for the indefinite time period in which people are self-quarantining, because when all you have is a podcast, everything looks like a problem you solve with podcast episodes. Enjoy! *** Andrew, Ben and Theo do a double-barrel Nature Corner, visit our friends in the Sovereign Citizen movement, and look at the definitely-not-racist facial recognition algorithm that can detect pre-crimes in this special bronus episode. *** Support our show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista *** Email the show at [e-mail]! Call in and leave us a question or a message on 1800-317-515 to be answered on the show! *** Twitter: twitter.com/boontavista Website: boontavista.com Merchandise: boontavista.com/merchandise Twitch: twitch.tv/boontavista

Welcome to Bu Winter Vista. What about a Bronus episode? It's just for the fellas. Take that, ladies. Always trying to stop us from having fun. That's right. Three men, one plan, not sanctified by the US government in any official sense, but we are going to overthrow some South American country. Haven't worked it out yet,

plans still in the... still, you know, it could go either way. But the important thing is we keep a morale up. We're all at Red Lobster having our... Having our illegal overthrow of a sovereign government pre-meal. I'm Theo. I am of course actually and legitimately allergic to shellfish. So I'm not having not having a good time. It's weird because you picked the restaurant too. Well it just seemed like you guys really wanted to go and by that point, you know, it's more effort to... Anyway, and of course I'm here with Ben who is already just trying to decide on a safe

word that he can say when he is immediately captured by the incumbent government. How you been? I'm good. I, you know, I thought, I kind of had two things that I could do before we did this, I guess you'd call it an incursion almost. And I could have trained and prepared and, you know, bought a type of gun that wasn't an airsoft rifle. Yeah, done a whole bunch of groundwork, you know, really prime the pump for, I I. I I I. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I th for th for th for th for th. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm th. I'm thi. I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good, I'm good, I'm good, I'm good, I'm good, I'm good, I'm good, I'm good, I'm good, I'm thi. th. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. type of gun that wasn't an airsoft rifle. Yeah, it done a whole bunch of groundwork, you know, really prime the pump for getting people of the land to rise up against their oppressive overlords and so on and so forth.

Yeah, and I saw that option. I thought that seemed pretty good, but I also thought it would be a really good idea to take a lot of borderline homerotic shirtless picks of myself and upload them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them their their idea to take a lot of borderline homoerotic shirtless picks of myself and upload them to our private security companies Instagram with about 25 hashtags. Now that is getting good engagement though. I have to say on measure. You guys see that post? Okay so what's the so the mercenary group is called silver? Silver core? Siver? You guys thi? Silver? Silver... the thi-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I th-I th-I th-it th- th-tip-tip- th- th- them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th- th- th- thi thi? thi thi thi thi thi thi to upload to to upload to to to to to to thi thi the thi the thi their thi the, so the mercenary group is called? It's silver, silver core? Silver core. It's, there's no S at the end. Does that make it silver corp?

Silver core. So it's silver, whatever that word is, USA. Which is a distinct from silver corpse, which several of them are now. Ooh. There's another company that's just called Silver Corp, and they're not it. This is Silver Corp slash Core USA. Just to make that clear. Yeah. And also, just to make it clear, in this scenario, the same person that is making social media posts with hashtag influencer is also the person organizing and leading an armed rebellion. And also before undertaking this top secret armed rebellion is also adding President of the United States

Donald Trump on their public Twitter profile to let them know that they're about to invade Venezuela. Hey, just hands up. Just replying with the SpongeBob image. I'm a head out. Of course that was Andrew in the background there as well. Now he has just done the two-finger face paint thing from Predator. And he's immediately using the face paint covered fingers to excavate a lobster tail without washing them. How are you, Angie? I'm good, I'm good, I'm gonna do a big stripe on my right cheek, big stripe on my left cheek, big stripe across the forehead, one down my nose, all over my chin and now I'm just filling in all

the spaces in between. One long stripe down your dick. Uttering your famous catchphrase, I have heaps of time to bleed. Yes. I will defeat the predator in mortal combat. Oh man. Watched Predator 2 again recently. How's that go? Not great.

Not as good as Predator 1, which is a perfect movie. As far as Predator movies go, you can't go past the movie, Predator. That's so true. I think it's arguably, every Predator movie is worse than the last. Of the two movies called Predator, it's by far the best. Well, I mean, you've got your predator, you've got your predator, you've got your alien verse predator, Requiem, and then you've got your predators. Oh, it's predators. Predators. There's Predators and the Predators. The Predator. Wait, what the fuck is that one? Well, this is the Shane Black one.

That is the written by Shane Black, but not directed by him. One that came out not too long ago. Oh, I forgot about that entirely. Yeah, everybody did. Well, there's one glaring issue with that movie, which I will is is far superior to Predator 2 Alien versus Predator, Alien versus Predator Requiem and probably that's Predator video games yeah so those were quite good didn't the alien versus predator video game bankrupt a company with how bad it was I thought it was great I was a

teen when I played it though and teens very bad at telling things are bad. You might be thinking of um yeah the not not the main series but the one the gearbox port fuck Colonial Marines I said it 30 seconds ago yes that's the one so the Predatorator has a bunch of fun, interesting concepts in it. It's got Jake Busey, along with Predator 2's Gary Busey. You know, it's got Jake Busey, his big Busey-toothed son. It's got a Kegan Michael Key. It's got Thomas Jane. It's got a bunch of fun people.

It's got some snappy Shane Black type dialogue. They introduced some fun concepts about the reason that predators pull the spines out of things is because they're harvesting the DNA from different things and suffusing it into their own race. They're bigger and more superior predators. They got big predator dogs and stuff. Some fun new ideas. The main problem with the movie. Oh no. I think I might see what this is just from having a skim of the Wikipedia article about it. We may have spoken about this before, but the main problem with the movie is that the lead character has a son whose role in the movie is to function as basically the kid from the like late 90s Bruce Willis movie Mercury Rising. Oh that's a good one. Where is it? Go back and watch

it again for the portrayal of the highly autistic kid as played by the kid in kindergarten cop who says boys have a penis girls have a vagina because basically... Oh I thought of it was Haley Joel Osmond. Is it? Maybe it is. Yeah, I thought it was as well. Hmm. But anyway, they do, so the kids,

so the kids like, you know, full rain man and everything, and cracks a code, which is what makes the government want to kill them. No, it's definitely the kid's thinin penis girls have a vagina in a kindergarten cop. Bad portrayal, he speaks like a robot, all that sort of shit. Now this kid is a lot like this in the predator, except so like you know he's he's bad at social interactions, he's freaked out by loud noises and he starts doing the Dustin Hoffman in Rain Man hands over his screeching kind of stuff. But he can easily use predator technology, which is what draws them to him. Somehow over the course of the movie and being exposed to a series of gunfights, explosions and horrific violence.

By the end of the movie, the kids just kind of not autistic anymore? He's just like, what's up, dad? I'm fine now. Leading me to believe... I fixed my brain through combat. Well, there's a very troubling suggestion of, you know, sometimes you just got to get your highly autistic son to snap out of it. Oh boy. By making them fight the or many predators.

It's really bad. Because the two possibilities, they're both bad. The two possibilities are. the two possibilities are, number one, it was written like that on purpose. As like, hey, maybe some of these autistic kids are just shy or whatever they need to get out of their shell through combat. And the other possibility is they started off writing it like that and then they just kind of got bored of it during the movie or forgot about it by the end.

Both of these things are not fantastic options. Like halfway through filming, they're like, oh, this is actually a drag. It's kind of a bad look when you think about it. What if we just made him cool at the end? You know? Boy. But anyway, that one's better than Predator 2.

OK. And this has been Predator Corner. Speaking of highly advanced alien technology, we got some technology of our own happening. So there's several ways you could have gotten from what we were talking about to this as the themes of being utterly morally compromised, illegal incursions, catching predators or mega-racism. Oh, that's way better. But what was the, sir, but you went with? What did I go with? Advanced alien technology. Which arguably this is not. And I have to criticize us. This is human technology. Which arguably this is not.

And I have to presous. No, this is human technology. Wow. Buy humans on humans. For humans. For hubits. Well, let me put this to you. They can't all be winners.

No. Some of them just have to be tech phrenology. So, you know how we love a bit of phrenology, accidental or otherwise? I have to get the virtual calipers out on this show. This story is quite reminiscent of another one that we had a while ago. So this was about a Harrisburg University professors and a PhD student who have developed, I am now reading from a press release from the university, which has for some reason been deleted. Let's read it and see if we can figure out why they deleted it. A group of Harrisburg University professors and a PhD student have developed automated computer facial recognition software capable of predicting whether someone is likely going to be a criminal. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. All right, so right, so this is not identifying people that are criminals using facial recognition. It's probably a few issues there. Um, predicting criminality, not great. Yeah, so this is not identifying people that are criminals using facial recognition. It's not like they've got a database of existing criminals and they're going, oh, we found him. There's that criminal. This is people's...

Someone who is likely to become a criminal. Uh-huh. So it goes on to say, let's see if this gets better or maybe worse, you know? It goes on to say, with 80% accuracy, mn'er. And with no racial bias, it says very loudly for something. You just know that the fact that they've mentioned that means that it's extremely racist. The software, yep. It's more alarming that they said it has no racial bias than if they had remained completely silent. Yes, we're predicting if someone's going to be a criminal and it's not on the basis of their race. As hard as that is to believe. So with 80% accuracy and no racial bias, the software can predict if someone is a criminal, then, it. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It's, th. It's, the, thi. It's, it, it's more. It's more, it's more, it's more, it's more. It's more. It's more, it's more, it's more. It's more. It's more. It's more. It's more. It's more. It's more. It's more. It's more. It's more. It's more. It's more. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's, it. It's. It's more. the. the, the, the, the, the. the. the, the. the, the. It's more. It's more. It's more. It's more. It's more. It's more. It's more. It's more. It's more. It's more. It's more. racial bias, the software can predict if someone is a criminal.

Now we've moved on to is a criminal based solely on a picture of their face. The software is intended to help law enforcement prevent crime. Now I'm very curious about this because I believe in a great little movie called Minority Report, they investigate the ideas of what would happen if you could predict a crime before it took place. And that all worked out very well for everybody, I think. Yeah, I think so. So like, so let's break this down for a second.

Ignoring the fact that it's clearly just going to light up a big light every time you put a picture of a person of color in there. How exactly can they, A, predict if someone is a criminal or is... I feel like we jumped very quickly from likely going to be a criminal to is a criminal and that this somehow is going to help law enforcement prevent crime. We are going, what are we going to do? What are we going to do? We're going to do? to do? We, to do, to do, to do, to do, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, to, the, um, the, the, um, um, the, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, their, um, their, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, their, their, their, their, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their a, their, their a, to, to, to, to, their a their a their thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thiii, thii, thi. their, thi. A, their their thi, their th is a criminal, and that this somehow is going to help law enforcement prevent crime. We are going, what are we going to do? We're going to run a bunch of people's faces through this thing and then say, hey, here's a whole bunch of people who haven't done anything wrong, and now the police should surveil

them in case they look like they're maybe going to commit a crime? Yeah, and also the fun part is the, if this is 20, 80% accurate, which of course it is not, that's complete diarrhea. You've got to have a lot of fun just thinking about that 20% who's just getting tailed like 24-7 by police, because they've got the crime face. So, like, I'm just looking at the wording the wording the wording the wording the wording the wording the wording the word the word the word their their their their their their their their their, their, their, if their, if their, if their, if their, if their, if their, if the their, if their, if their, if their, if their, if their, if their, if their, if their, if their, if their, if their, if their, if their, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if their, if their, if their, if their, if their, if the the the the the the the th. If th is, if th is, the, the is, theat, theat, theat, theat, the, the the is, if the is, if thirty, if thirty, if thirty, 24-7 by police because they've got the crime face So I'm just looking at the wording here my suspicion is So they've the first way they've said it is it's recognition software capable of predicting whether someone is going to be criminal and then With 80% accuracy and not racist the software can predict if someone is a criminal, so I think I can't stress this enough not racist what I'm think they're saying is that in the second????????????? the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th? th? thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi's thi their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thi thi thi's thi their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the software can predict if someone is a criminal. So I think what they're talking about, not racist. What I think they're saying is that in the second sentence,

they're saying they've got 80% accuracy, maybe feeding it a data set of people that have committed crimes, but they're saying that it's also capable of using that data, to predict if people are going to commit crimes, does that make sense? What I'm saying? That they've trained it on criminal faces and not criminal faces. And then because they've found what a criminal looks like, they can use it to feed on any face and then gauge whether they might be or might become a criminal. Yeah.

I mean... But again, what does this information do for the police? Well, you just shoot them. You know, if you get a little blip, you just go, oh, Oh, you're going to be right, 80% of the time. But the fun part is, is that if you shoot them, you can just say that they were going to be a criminal. There's no way that they can test that theory. That's true. It's perfect. It's

ironclad. Crime would be way down if everybody was dead. Every not even a suspected criminal if every potential criminal was dead. And with an 80% success rate, you can't argue with those numbers. So, uh, PhD student and NYPD veteran, Jonathan W. Corn with a K, like the band. Jonathan W. Corn. That's so you don't confuse him with all the other Jonathan Corns. This is just like, if you were having a bad time remembering the name of the Leedsinger of Corn that is what you would say straight up oh you know what's he say I fucking Jonathan Corn my goodness all Johnny Corn Professor Nathaniel J. S. Ashby and Professor Ruthbert Sattuckin

very small font can tell us that's an ironell that is all. Professor Nathaniel J.S. Ashby and Professor Ruesber-Sadigian, very small font, I can't tell that's an IRNL, title their research, a deep neural network model to predict criminality using image processing. This kind of makes me think of our old friend, the vet, who could point his laser at a photo of someone and tell if they have coronavirus. Very cool. Well, no, this uses machine learning, which is perfect. Yeah, see, that guy was an insane crackpot. Yeah, no, these guys are academics.

Flauiless machine learning. They say, we already know machine learning techniques can outperform humans on a variety of tasks related to facial recognition and emotion detection. Sure. Yeah, sure emotion detection. Sure. Yeah, sure. Okay. Okay. But strictly speaking, I'm not actually sure if that's true, but even if it was, okay? Yeah, what's the relation to crime?

They say, this research indicates just how powerful these tools are by showing they can extract minute features in an image that are highly predictive of criminality. Eyebrows too close together. Hazel eyes. A large tattoo on the forehead saying, I will commit a crime in the future. Unless stopped. The entirety of the team's research will appear in a future book series titled Springer Nature Research Book Series, Transactions on Computational Science and Computational Intelligence. By automating the identification of potential threats without bias, especially racial

bias. Our aim is to produce tools for crime prevention, law enforcement, and military applications that are less impacted by implicit biases and emotional responses, Asshby said. Our next step is finding strategic partners to advance this measure. How does this...Pentagon. How do you get to this point in a university in the year of 2020, putting forward machine learning that's going to produce a predictor of criminality based on your input data and put in a press release for your university that it does not contain bias? How do you, how is this,

how did they get to this point? Like, this is clown shoes stuff. Well, again though, if we're talking about, I can't get past the central conceit of this, right? Like, maybe I would feel differently if they were saying, we can use like, we can use machine learning emotion detection and all that sort of stuff to scan like interview

footage of a suspect in real time and tell you if somebody has all of the physiological like indicators of someone who is lying to you or something like that. Oh yeah yeah. If it was something you could at and say, like, and I'm still saying that would 1,000 percent be a bullshit thing to try and apply in an actual situation that was going to have any impact on someone's life, right? But I'll say that, you know, putting forward a thesis, 90% of theses are just total bullshit, right? So you can just just th say just thi thi th just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just thesis, 90% of theses are just total bullshit, right? So you can just put forward, hey, I'm going to do a, I'm going to train a neural network on a whole bunch of things and we'll see whether we can get a predictor out to see whether they're going to be a criminal in the future,

blah, blah, blah. And they say, yeah, yeah, no, that's fine. You do it and at the end, and at the end, and at the end, and at the end, and you say, and you say, and you say, and you say, and you say, and you say, and you say, and you say, and you say, and you say, no that that's fine you do it and at the end you say no it don't work and they give you a six and you move on with your life. How could you even prove that it did work would you have to do one of those like seven up 16 up things you check back in with every person that you look at? No no you would have photos that were old so you would have a large data set of photos of photos and out of that you know you would you would have the the the the the the the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. to have to have to have to have to have the. the. to have the. the. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the. Yeah to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the. the. the. the. the. the. You know you would use, you're training your neural network on that, you produce the probabilities, you do some Bayesian kind of stuff to work out, well if the percentage of this is this, then this is your thing. And then at the end you get a number that's completely unnelable and you'd be like, that that's completely and then you get your PhD and you move on with your life. Like I just want to know, like I get that these are, you know, largely computer

scientists and they're the way neural networks work when you train them is you meant to kind of treat them like a black box right that you just train them and if the results get to a certain think and be like, okay, what is this honing in on? Like they mention... What am I attempting to do here? Yeah, so there's a part here where they say a variety of tasks related facial recognition and emotion detection.

Is what they're honing in on the criminal mindset? Like, there is an emotion associated with crime? Well this also I think this also comes back worryingly enough to the concept of the crime gene. Like the idea that that people can be genetically predisposed to committing a crime. Yeah like so I guess what I was saying for was I... you would at least be able to see some connection between a proposed application of this technology if they were talking about something like, you know, we could tell you when somebody's lying or whatever the

fuck it might be. In this situation, even if it was actually true, even if it was a real thing, which it's a hundred percent not, if the thing you're doing is like able to say, hey, well, let's point this at, you know, surveillance footage or whatever, and now we can say that we are, you know, mostly confident that this person we're looking at who has no criminal record and has never done anything wrong as far as we know, we predict that they're going to commit a crime at some point. What is anyone supposed to do with that information? Beyond saying, let's use it as a reason to further expand surveillance of people

by saying, oh we have evidence-based. This is despite the fact that, as,, you know, I think most people are aware, the last couple of decades have just seen this complete collapse of the concept of like forensic science as evidence to use in a courtroom. Like the amount of stuff now where people look at it and go, oh yeah, the whole, that whole like fingerprint analysis thing, that whole like, you know, sweeping a house and finding a hair, turns out pretty much all bullshit. Wasn't there a whole bunch of stuff about like ballistics science largely being bullshit

in terms of identifying guns? Um, what's the arson science is completely just made up by a couple of guys in the FBI and so on and so forth? Which is why I think that the target audience for this bullshit is not actually police. Because they can't do anything with it. Target audience for this is insurance companies. Make it impossible for you to get insured if you've got the crime face. Sorry, sir, you have crime face. You've got...

Our system flagged you for crime face, so it says here you've got one of the worst cases of crime face that the system's ever seen. It's a 2.7 crime face rating. That's most people are under 0.3, so... That is off the charts. I mean, Richard Gere is a 0.4. You're sitting around, you know, you know, you know, you know, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, the, you're, the, th, th, the, th, th, th, th, you're, th, th. the, the the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th.5, the th.5, th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thogue, th. th. th. thi. thage, thage, thaggue, thag. thi, th. th. That is off the charts. I mean Richard Gere is a point four. You're sitting around, you know, John Wayne Gacy. You want to be closer to Richard Gere. Although you know as they do say in here, that their aim is to produce tools for crime prevention, law enforcement and military application that are less impacted by implicit biases and emotional responses.

And I would take from that as far as law enforcement and military applications goes to their saying we're seeking to extend this into something where we can say, hey, is this this Arab or black person definitely a criminal, and that's without the Boston Cops opinion. This is backed by science. We pointed a computer at the person and the big light went on. So it's not just Officer O'SHornsey over here. No, well the next, the next stage is an AI that's trained by Boston Cop to find criminals. Oh my goodness. I feel like I would be missing out at this point to not mention a new additional bonus podcast that is available to all of our wonderful subscribers which is me and Riley from Trash

Future, recapping season 5 of the forensics and like forensic archaeology TV show Bones. Now the show is called Bones. Mm-hmm. Because it's about bones? Let me, let me tell you buddy. It works in a lot of different ways. Because the lead character of the show is forensic anthropologist, Dr. Temperance Bones, Brennan. So her nickname is Bones, but also a lot of the crimes have bones in them, a lot

of bone-related activity. That's a good title and no bones about it. How are you doing, Ben? I'm actually looking at one of my old tweets that was about... That's a good title and no bones about it. How are you doing, Ben? I'm actually looking at one of my old tweets that was about the title of the show Bones. And I was trying to remember because one person replied to it super negatively. They just told me to shut the fuck up and that it was lazy and not funny and I'm trying to find that. The tweet was from the TV show show TV TV TV show the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tweet was, bones from the TV show, Bones, it's called Bones, because she's obsessed with bones. If I was in a procedural crime TV show, I would be called Beers.

Now that's a good twee. I think they must have deleted their account or something, but it was sort of disbaying. Like, this isn't funny. And I was just like, oh, no, it's like, no need to be rude about it? Yeah, well obviously that's stuck with me. I will never forget someone disrespecting me like that. Well I hope you're okay. I will be. Now they do say in this statement here, oh so there's a bit of an explaining here. Yeah they want to automate the identification of potential threats without bias. This is so that you you can put it at those roadblocks at the green zone in Iraq and just point them down the street so that it'll give you the green light to like fire

on a van that's driving towards you and then you can say, well, you know, the neural network predicted with 80% accuracy that this person was a criminal. No racial bias, you say. Crime is one of the most prominent issues in modern society. Okay. I would say it isn't. I would say it isn't. I would say like generally haven't crime rates been going down in countries like Australia? It's such a like vaguely meaningless thing to say as well. Like, uh, that's the sort of thing that someone who was writing like a high school paper would say, crime is one of the most prominent issues in modern society. Qualify that statement.

That doesn't mean anything. I would say that Marvel movies are one of the most prominent issues in modern society. You know, for whatever reason. Not a good one, but I would say people talk about Marvel movies more than they talk about crime. That's in one of the toilets when it's really cold. Oh, no thank you. That's like a really prominent widespread issue that we all have to deal with. We're just getting to that time of year down on camera. I'm not looking forward to the one week where that happens to me. The development of machines that are capable of performing cognitive tasks such as identifying

the criminality of person from their facial image will enable a significant advantage for law enforcement agencies and other intelligence agencies to prevent crime from occurring in their designated areas. 1,000 percent for no reason other than to get a warrant to surveil someone who hasn't done anything. It's fucking insane. As you said, what is the thing that they can do with this information? Walk up to someone and be like, oh, sorry, the app on my phone says you're about to commit a crime, so I'm going to have to throw you in jail. Gonna have to try to the to. to. to to. to to to their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. to their. th. their. th. th. to be to be to be to be to. th. th. It's, thoomk. It's, their, thrown. It's thoomk. It's, their. It's, their. It's, their. It's, toe. It's, their. It's, their. It's, their. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's toda. It's toda. It's today. It's tote. It's tote. It's tote. It's tote. It's tote. It's tote. It's tote. It's their tote. It off the streets. Sorry, no, the app on my phone says there's a four and five chance you're about to commit a crime. Let me throw you in jail.

So they've actually removed this from the website and provided a little update here. The news release outlining research titled a deep neural network model to predict criminality using image processing was removed from the website at the request of the faculty involved in the research. The faculty are updating the paper to address concerns raised. Yep. Yep. So they've back spaced the entire paper and the little carrot is just blinking the top left-hand corner. All right boys, what do we got? We got back on the old horse? They've retitled the paper, we are not racist. And then that is also the full text of the paper. Yeah.

So, what else is the news? I'm flapping a big newspaper open. Imagine that. Imagine holding a microphone and trying to read a broadsheet. I thank you. Every now and then when I've done things like the movie events or whatever where I've had to hold a microphone a piece of paper but also been very committed to making sure I have my beer with me as well. Oh, absolute shambles. If you've got to flip between multiple pages, you're really setting yourself up for failure. But you don't want to not have a beer up there. Hell, no.

It's a big no-thank you for me. Now while we do love pseudoscience, we love phrenology, we also love... We also love thoenthin. We certainly do. Little story in the ABC today which tickled me. It tickled my fancy just right. Because there is only one way for a sovereign citizen story to go. It follows a very, very distinct template, which is,

sovereign citizen does a thing which is against the law. Some representative of the law comes to talk to them about it. They deploy their well-practiced sovereign citizens speak, which they understand to be the silver bullet to the werewolf of big government. Despite no evidence that it has ever worked for anyone. Nope, despite Wesley Snipes's jail time. They still insist on asking if they are being detained, you know, specifying where in Australia's constitution, it says that the government is a corporation, all that kind of fun stuff. Pointing out the lack of gold fringe on the badge or whatever.

Is gold fringe bad or good? Have we worked that out yet? I'm sure there's a split in the community, you know? No, you're right. There is only one story. It's sort of like Zelda. It's just the same story being told over and over again, but every time it's new and wonderful. And yeah the inevitable resolution is that the representative of the law says shut up you're coming with me. And there's a battle with Gannon at the end of it. Yes, yes, absolutely. So this from the ABC.

Not the American one. I want to have to say that again. A self-declared, quote, free spirit man who told South Australia's Supreme Court he is independent of society and lives free from law and government has lost a year-long legal battle over a parking ticket. And of course, like if it's going to happen anywhere, it is going to happen in South Australia. I, um, now like we're saying, there's always, there's always some type of libertarian mysticism that takes place here where like you have, you have the secret instructions that completely nullify

the power of the government. It's just that nobody else knows that they should use it. Apparently this guy's one, which I've never heard before, but is very good, is Timothy Noel Rossiter also argued that he displayed a sign stating, notice, private property, no trespassing on his windscreen, and the inspector did not have permission to attach the ticket in question to his car. Imagine thinking that was going to hold up in court. Does that mean that, like to me, the attaching of the ticket to the car is a courtesy? You still, the ticket's still in the system. You're still going to have to pay the fine. It's just that, it's just one of, I think, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, th, th. th, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, to. to. to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to, to, to, think it's one of the universes and like the wonder of creation's beautiful elements that a parking ticket so perfectly fits under a snapped windscreen wiper.

Yeah. Weird, weird coincidence that one is. Now, apparently that didn't fly with the judge to say, I called no touches on my car. Handing down his judgment, Justice Mark Livesey said the case involved, quote, legal nonsense and was an unnecessary waste of scarce public and judicial resources. He said Mr. Rossiter had been issued a parking ticket for breaching a 30-minute time limit in the Adelaide CBD in April 2019, but according to a judgment published this week, he challenged the notice using a 2012 letter that denied his consent to be governed. Yeah, but you look at the letter to say laws don't apply to me?

Have you seen this note from my parents Timmy doesn't have to go to law today. Yeah, says I've been excused from all this has I've been excused from all prison and rope climbing. Timmy doesn't have to live in society today. That's right. So, you know, he put his joke and makeup on Didn't fly. My truth and law exists inside of me, Mr. Rosseter wrote to the Adelaide City Council. If anyone does revoke or deny consent, they exist free of government control and statutory restraints. That sounds true to me. Yeah, all you've got to say is, no thanks. In the letter he called himself a free spirit man, but Justice Lives, he said there was no

evidence the letter was ever sent to the council, and its effect is, quote, most unclear. I never understand. There's a few things about these that I never understand. One, it's always parking tickets, right? That they're going to lay down this life and death, like philosophical argument over a fucking, you know, $90 fine. It's that all speeding fines, right? Because they, because those little things that,

they're all white men's, and they're not going to get arrested for anything else. But two, if this is the stance stance stance stance stance stance stance stance stance stance stance stance stance stance stance stance stance stance stance stance stance stance stance stance stance stance stance stance stance stance stance stance stance stance, if this is the stance that you want to take and you don't want to, you know, be governed or live in a society, just go and die in the desert. Or live in the desert if you can. What's that? Or live there if you can. I mean, have a go at it.

Okay. Yeah. Look, yeah, that's sort of the thing that happens before you die in the desert. Sure, yeah, that is true. For a small period of time, you will technically be alive. You'll live in the desert, that's right. This of course is that. This is the same conversation that tends to come up about libertarians who complain about, having to pay for, the's kids to go to school. All this kind of shit. But these are all the same people who enjoy driving around

on roads, you know, that kind of thing. Well, they went to school, but he's done with that now. So I shouldn't have to pay it anymore. Done with school. I have also enjoyed seeing some of the libertarian arguments out of like the people. th. th. th. I the. I the. I the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi's thiiiiiiiii's thii's thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thiarian arguments out of like the people protesting shutdowns in America. I particularly liked a video that I watched of a woman taking her, she'd taken her kids to a playground that her city had closed and this cop is very patiently saying to her, Madam, the city has closed the playground. I'm going to need you all to go because you're all gathered here and you're not allowed to. And the thing that they keep they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they keep they keep they keep they keep they keep they keep the the the they keep the the the the the th I'm gonna need you all to go, because you're all gathered here and you're not allowed to. And the thing that they keep repeatedly saying is,

well, I'm a taxpayer. I'm a taxpayer, and my taxes paid for this playground, so it doesn't make any sense that I wouldn't be able to play on it. Yeah, and by the same token token toke toke is to drive the tanks occasionally. That's why you can just take a cop's gun. You can just grab it. Just take it. I get a go of that gun.

If you only steal one out of 20 million guns, you, statistically, that's your gun. And this went on and on with this lady. So this went on and on with this lady. Hey, I'm a taxpayer, which means that technically I own this playground. Well, of course, white lady, bunch of white ladies with their kids there. And you go, like eventually this cop is saying, madam, I've asked you a whole bunch of times.

You have to the count of, to get off the playground. Gather your things and your kids, get off the playground. 10, nine, and this lady goes, oh, what are you going to do? Are you going to arrest me? Well, arrest me then, and turns around and puts her hands out, and he goes, okay, and just puts the handcuffs on her and their their their their their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, and th, and th, and th, th, and th, th, and thanks, and thanks, and things, and things, things, things, and things, and things, and things, and things, and things, and things, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and things, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, th, and th, th, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, things, things, things, things, things arrested. And it doesn't go down well with her or the other ladies there. Apparently there is a limit to which you can push the police, even as a well-to-do widely in America. And of course it immediately came out afterwards that she was like, this lady is the sort of Queen B of the local anti-Vaxa community and was very deliberately filming

this entire thing so that she could then go, oh, government tyranny just like when you get vaccinated. I hate being oppressed with my vaccinations. So apparently the letter, the letter from his parents, according to the judge, quote, is incapable of having any bearing at all on the prosecution case, he said. It is incapable of generating any defense. The judge also noted that despite Mr. Rossiter's attempts to disengage from society, his letter sought to preserve his right to police protection and free education.

Cool guy. Mr. Rosner's case was first heard in the magistrate's course where, instead of entering a plea, he spoke only the words, I am man, but was found guilty and fined more than $1,700. All 11 grounds of his Supreme Court appeal were dismissed, including the consent and trespass arguments, and he was fined a further $680. The judge described his case as without merit

and based on various pseudo-legal arguments. If he has acted on the advice of others, he is well advised to stop doing so, he said. Oh, that's great stuff. Imagine the self-confidence that man must have. It's such a like, it's a tough one for me because, with these things, because my firm belief is that cops in their entirety should be abolished, completely gone, shouldn't exist in any way shape or form. But also, watching someone who has this weird belief that if they like, Wizard of Earth's style say the right word, it will undo the fabric of reality,

and no laws would apply them anymore, just have a cop be like, nope. What you just said was nonsense, I am going to give you a massive fine is very, very funny. Now obviously the perfect solution to this is to take all of the cops in society and all of the libertarians in society. Maybe you place them in some sort of fenced-off area. Maybe we watch them in their interactions and they can just sort of like, you know, the cops can oppress the libertarians, the libertarians can moan about it. And we th th th th th and we th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi, thi- thi- thi- thi- the, the, the, the, thi--upi-upi-a-a' th-a-upi-upi-upi-upon, th-upe, thus are thus are thus are thus are thus is thus is thus is thus is thu-up, thu-up, thu-up, thu-up, thu-upe, thu-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-s, tho'-s, tho'-s, tho'-s'-s'-s'-a'-s'-a'-a'-s'er'er'-s'er'er's tho'er, tho'-a'er, th cops can oppress the libertarians, the libertarians can moan about it. And we can go about our lives without having to deal with either of their bullshit. Some sort of battle royal style island with cops and libertarians. But a very asymmetrical one where the cops always win.

But they're still stuck on the island at the end. That's the important part. Yeah. With the libertarians. Hey, I reckon that it might be time for a little segment we like to call Nature Corner. Country Roads, take me home to the place I belong. Ultracea. Nature Corner. Rubber crab. Snipped my d'i. Thank you as always for our beautiful patrons for providing the theme to Nature Corner. Thank you as always for to our beautiful patrons for providing the theme to Nature Corner.

We have some important, important animal related news for you here folks. Now, I'm just going to give you the headline I guess, from the Orlando Weekly. Insanely Constipated Florida Lizard just broke the record for biggest poop. And your screen is on. Yes. Yes. Oh. Oh.

So, this is where to start with this? You know? I'd say start at the start. Okay. After a steady diet of pizza grease and sand, a lizard in Florida recently broke the record for largest crap relative to a living organism's body size. Recently published in the herpetological review,

a team of herpetologists from University of Florida was tracking down reptile samples in Cocoa Beach when they stopped by a local pizza joint and discovered a bulbous northern curly-tailed lizard which had unusually large fecal bolus that made up nearly 80% of its entire body mass. I reckon that it'd feel pretty bad. That seems like a fair guess. And you're not a herpetologist. Right?

No, no, I have been constipated in my adult life. Oh God. You know, that's not a thing that happens to me often or anything like that. But what percentage is that fecal bolus? We're talking to 15? I reckon it was way under 80%. It's like 20% under. Even under 20% and I didn't feel good. I was like, you know what? Just realized it's been too long.

Feeling kind of uncomfortable all the time. But you can't get it out. And it definitely wasn't filling up the entire inside of my torso. I think that would feel bad. PHD candidate, Natalie Clounch. of my torso. I think that would feel bad. PhD candidate Natalie Clownch. Extremely chanch style name. She says her team just assumed that the female lizards abnormally large size was because she was ready to lay eggs. Ready to produce beautiful life. But when they took her in for a CT scan,

it was revealed she was in fact filled with a giant poop. When we went to feel for her eggs, said Clounge, it just felt like it was full of silly putty. The silliest putty, there is. Yeah, we just thought that it was like full to the brim of eggs, which is not a disturbing thought at all all....... the th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, she was thi, she was thi, she was thi, she was thi, she was thi, she was thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, she was thi, she was thi, she was thi, she was thi, she was thi, she was thi, she was thi, she was thi, she was thi, she was thi, she was thi, thi, thi, thi, thin, thin, thin, thi. thin, thiiiii. thii. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th thought that it was like full to the brim of eggs, which is not a disturbing thought at all. But no, it was crap. The eggs would have been normal. The poor lizard absolutely smashes all known records for biggest relative crap, which was

previously set by a Burmese python that dropped a deuce that was 13% of its body mass. I was blown away by how little room there was 13% of its body mass. I was blown away by how little room there was left for all the other organs. If you look at the 3D model, it has only a tiny space left over in its ribcage for the heart, lungs and liver, said director of Florida Museum's digital discovery and dissemination laboratory, Edward Stanley. It must have been a very uncomfortable situation for the poor lizard. I think that's true. 80%... 80%... And if you look at the photo from the article, the poor little lizard, he's not having a good time of it. Sort of a...

What's the Monty Python guy? Mr. Creosote? Yeah it's sort of a Mr. Creoat he's not having a... it's not having a good time of it. He's a... he. He's... he's... he's... he. He's... he. He's... he. He's... He's... He's... He's a... He's a... He's a... I I, he's a... I, he's a... I, he's a... I, he's a... I's a... I's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's of a, what's the Monty Python guy? Mr. Creosote? Yeah, it's sort of a Mr. Creosote imagery he's got going on. Now what do you say photo, just to be clear, are you talking about the image that I have put in the document? No, I'm doing about the one from the article. The photo, and we are on the 3D rendering point of this article, so it's worth commenting that there is a wonderful, it's quite an interesting, so they've CT scanned this. And then, so when you do a CT scan, you can get different kind of,

different levels of density, and you can put like colors on them. So normally they'd pull out like fatty tissue or muscle or veins or whatever. In this case, they've decided to map 80% of its body onto a kind of textured brown thing. It seems like they've gone computer. Load me up a poop texture. Yeah, give me that poop texture, please. Hit me with that walnut style 3D poop texture.

It's kind of the shape of an avocado, making up the bulk of the size of this creature. It's truly terrifying. Oh my God. Let me hear you with the end of this article. Sadly, Clouch said that the team had to humanely euthanize the invasive lizard whose giant unpassable crap was causing it to suffer from starvation. But at least the turd lives on in scientific literature.

We are unaware of any records from wild or captive animals that approach our finding. Clouge said to Minverse, we hope for the sake of the individual animals that there are not any out there. When I first read this article, my understanding was that they were saying that this was a record for the northern curly-tailed lizard in terms of a poop to body mass ratio. I did not realize until I read the study that they linked off to that this is a record for any living animal in recorded history of largest feces to body mass ratio. Like the example they give of another one, was that 13% from the Python?

They found another lizard in that same expedition that was at a 30%? And they found a couple of others that were over around 30% actually as well. But of any animal in history, this is like earth-shattering, historic discovery for how much shit you can fit in a thing. What an incredible legacy to have. What if this was like your one published journal article in your life as a scientist? Just staggering stuff. Poor little thing.

I imagine they were trying to euthanize it and sticking the needle in and it just kept going straight through into the shit. I think they would have popped on the head with a little hammer. A little scientific hammer. Oh, they had to get a tiny scientific noose and wrap it around it and then get a little, I had to get this little stool. That's poor little thing. What a life. I don't know if, so this obviously, this article that we got this from is written in

a very informal style. Mm-hmm. In the Orlando Weekly, the biggest news story for, a news source for Orlando Bloom. Although, actually, I should, I don't think I probably th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th.. th. I'd th. I'd thi. I'd to get to get, I'd to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get this. I. I this. I. I this, I this, I this, I this, I this, I this, I this, I this, I to, to, to.. to. to. to. to. would like to, I should, I don't think I probably credited it because I've realized that this was actually shared from one of their affiliate websites. Let me just get the name of that periodical. This story originally appeared in our sister paper, Creative Loafing Tampa Bay. Huh. I wasn't expecting that to be any good when you got the creative loafing.

Creative Loafing. And we're not talking about taking a big shit. No. Well, in this case we are. But that's not where they get the title of the thing from. Uh, creative loafing. But yeah, so my point is that, uh, obviously, so they're playing it a a a a a th a th at a th at a thle of the thing from. Creative life. But yeah, so my point is that obviously so they're playing it a bit fast and loose with their wording, the fact that they said that the previous record was that 13% I think was actually a misinterpretation of what was in the study. But I want to know if the steady diet of pizza grease and sand was them just sort of speculating or whether that was actually what caused this thing to become horrendously backed up. And does that open new avenues for research to see just how high they can get that number? How much pizza can one feed to the lizard? Well now now, look, I've got another story here that I want to talk about,

that oily sand from pizza grease is the way that we could really get that number to go up. Now, now, now look look look look look look look look look look look look look look look the the the the th th the th the th th they th th th they thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, was thi, was thi, was thi, was thi, was thi, was thi, was thi, was thi, was thi, was thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, was thi, was thi, was thi, was thi, was thi, was thi, was the. the. the. thean, was, was, was thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. thea. thea, the get that number to go up. Now, look, I've got another story here that I want to talk about a little contentious with the fellows because I, I posit the position, I posit the theory that the story we just read is sad because some humans were dicking around and then they killed a lizard. Now, clearly the lizard wasn't in a great way. But maybe if he hadn't eaten all that human-produced pizza, he wouldn't have been so god-dam constipated. So that's a bummer to me. What I do like is stories where people are dicking around

and then an animal just gets the best of them and the animal is fine at the end Which is not the case in this story. Oh, I didn't I didn't read the last sentence of this. Okay. Anyway, I still want to read this story. This is from a Columbia South Carolina The woman? Oh my god. So a woman was attacked by an alligator in a gated community in South Carolina. She was visiting the home owner to do her nails and was trying to touch the animal when it grabbed her, authority set. Now this lady did get eaten by this crocodile and die. And that's sad.

We should feel sad about that right. Okay, well you've said that it's not sad that this woman died in an animal attack. Okay. No, you said that it was sad. You said it was sad. Yeah, and you were clearly making the kind of bald fists. Are you accusing me of doing the boo-hoo gesture right now? It did sound a lot like you were doing the boo-hoo gesture.

That is, I'm, look, I'm offended. I'm offended, I'm taken it back and I just, I don't know, guys, I'm very, very offended. So anyway, poor wady. Oh, God. Now, no, I don't like how they've written this article, right? They've got it, they've got it structured all wrong. Yeah, it's sort of... They're telling you the pieces of the information in the wrong order, right? So I'm going to give it to you in the order that is A, correct and B way funnier. Yeah, yeah, it's like if you took the movie, Memento and 21 grams, I was gonna say.

Took Memento and put it back in order. Or if you took the fourth season of Arrested Development and reordered it so that it was funny. Yeah, or. So Cynthia Covert, 58, came to Kiyawa Island, a gated community southeast of Charleston, to give the homeowner a manicure on Friday according to the police report. The woman told deputies that Covert typically was professional in her salon but was relaxed and excited at the home, talking about her boyfriend's visit from Tennessee and bought a glass of wine with her, a single glass.

That's quite strange. So she carried that in it, yeah. So she carried that in it, yeah. Which is a horrible way to transport a liquid. That's very, um, have you ever seen like all those photos of Riana leaving restaurants with a glass of wine? I don't think I've seen all the photos. I feel like I've seen one. One, well there are many photos of Rianna leaving a restaurant and she has just taken the glass that she was drinking wine out of at the time to go and just step into a car with.

And look, it's a boss move when she does it, but I get the feeling that it's a little different when someone turns up to your house to do a job. I also feel like if you're a not-celeb and you just like picked up a wine glass you had in a restaurant and walked outside, you'd be creating a massive licensing issue and stealing a glass that they had to pay for. Yeah when you're a big ceilab- they're like, oh, there's still a lot about wine glasses. Oh my God, that's amazing. So she bought a glass of wine with her. She saw the alligator while working on the woman's porch, and when Covert finished, she started taking pictures of the alligator, the woman told deputies.

The woman and her husband started screaming for Covert to get away from the alligator because they had seen it grab a deer a few days earlier, deputies said. Covert said, I don't look like a deer, and reached to touch the alligator when the animal attacked according to the report. Now, okay, I am coming around to Andrew's point of view here. Probably not laughing maniacally. Imagine, I imagine you people screaming at you. But there's an extremely long wind-up to this.

And like, I think the point where I was doing someone's nails and then an alligator appeared would probably be the end of the story for me. I'd be like, nope. I was back in the car, left my glass of wine behind. Yeah, that's their glass of wine now. I'm willing to give that up and I'm going to leave. But no, instead it's like I'm gonna, I gotta snap some picks of this bad boy. And you know what, can't do it from all the way over here. Got an older phone, doesn't have all that zoom. You know, it's only got one lens. I also enjoyed the concept that in her mind this alligator had learned to only eat deer.

Well yeah, they can only pick their prey by silhouette and they only recognize four-legged things as edible, I guess. Does she think it's a T-rex? Do, do? th. Do, do? Do, th. Do, th. Do, th. Do, th. th. th. thi? thi? thi? thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi, their, it, it, it, it, it, it's like, it, it's like, it, it's like, it's like, it's like, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it. It's the their it. It's their, it, it, it. It's their, it, it. It's their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their, I their, I their, four-legged things as edible, I guess. Does she think it's a tea-rex? Does she think... like... She's already gone right up to it and they've been saying, we saw it take a whole deer. We saw this crocodile take a whole, this alligator take a whole deer, this alligator take a whole deer the other day, which is getting towards a people-sized animal. I would say larger, right? I think it depends on the deer, probably. And the person.

And the person, yeah. So she, she just hand waves this away with the very, very simple explanation of, but I don't look like a deer. So what, what would it be interested in with me? me???? larger? larger? larger? me? I me me me me me me me? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I, the the the the tie? I, larger? I, larger? I, larger? I, larger? I, larger. I, larger. I, larger? I, larger. I would, larger. I would, larger. I would, larger. I would, larger. I, larger. I, larger. I, larger. I, larger. I, larger. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I, larger? I, larger? I, larger? I, larger? I, larger? I, larger? I, larger? I, larger? I, t t t t t, t, t, t, tie. I would, toge. I would, toge. I would, toge. I would, tell, tell, I simple explanation of, but I don't look like a deer. So what would it be interested in with me? Now I'd better toucest it. I was taking the photos. Photos were no good from over there. Had to get a bit closer. People are screaming, but I think I'm going to give him a little pat.

So, the alligator has grabbed her and pulled her into the water. Much as she was warned it would, the husband and the neighbor have then grabbed a rope and thrown it to her, pulled her in, where she has surfaced still in the water, and she's standing there, dripping with water, has just been pulled into the water by a crocodile, and she takes this time to stand there with the rope and say, well I guess I won't do that again, at which point she is suddenly grabbed again by the alligator and dragged under water. And just to reiterate, that I guess I won't do this again is a quote. That is a direct quote.

That is not as projected that onto her behavior. We're not like mapping the movie tremors, like something that someone would say in tremors immediately before getting sucked underground onto this situation. The only two quotes attributed... Fuck, I gotta watch the tremors again. The only two quotes attributed to this woman in this report are, I don't look like a deer and I guess I won't do that again. She was then pulled underwater by the alligator. Police were unable to kill the alligator before it drowned her.

It's not as funny. No, this is obviously a tragic and immensely painful and distressing way to die and you would just fucking hate for the circumstances of your death to be quite funny. I mean, maybe, I don't know. I guess it depends on your outlook on life. Do you think if you had just said, well I guess I won't do that again and then you got dragged underwater, do you think before you went you would think, well that's pretty funny? Probably not. I think at that point you would be thinking, oh fuck, oh shit, oh fuck, shit, fuck, probably. Maybe you'd be going out thinking well but my timing is impeccable, you know? Because that's what it's all about, you know?

To like, comedy is timing, as we all know, and to A, say I don't look like a deer just before getting grabbed by an alligator. And then to say, well I won't do that again before getting grabbed again, those things are both perfect. It's just spot on. You couldn't write it, honestly. Well you could, and it'd be in tremors. It wouldn't be an alligator. Be a big worm creature. That's certainly true. Good movie. I got gotta watch Tremors again too, I think. Maybe we should all watch Tremets this weekend. Maybe why not?

Oh, dear. Do you think we can maybe do one more before we go? Partially because I don't want the last note on this to be a woman drowning after being attacked by an animal. But this is this, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because this story is quite short and extremely funny. Okay. So this is a story from CNN, which I believe is an American publication, five-year-old driver on way to buy a Lamborghini pulled over by Utah Highway Patrol. We've all been there. A five-year-old boy with three dollars in his pocket was pulled over by police in

the US or driving his parents' car to buy a Lamborghini. God damn. The boy was driving the family SUV from his home in Utah to California after arguing with his mother who said he would not buy the luxury car for him. Utah Highway Patrol said, a highway patrol said, a highway off the spot of the vehicle weaving on interstate 15 at 50 kilometers an hour, the Utah Highway Patrol said. Authorities told CNN affiliate KSLTV they initially thought the boy was an impaired driver. How old are you? You're five years old?

Trooper Rick Morgan says in dash camera footage of the traffic stop. Wow, why did you learn to drive a car? This is a fucking fantastic question. Andrew, how old are your children again? So my children are either side of this, they are four and six. Right, now can you imagine your six-year-old daughter driving a car on the highway? No, and I don't think she can either. Probably good. I would say that lack of imagination is extremely beneficial to you. Also I enjoy the fact that all the cops are just extremely impressed by this kid.

It's like they've found a dog that can bark the alphabet or something. Their first thought is like, this kid's got to go on TV. I mean, this is genuinely quite impressive.. Like assuming the car's automatic, he's had to turn the ignition, put the current gear, take the handbrake off, and I don't know how the car was parked, we don't know if he had to reverse first or that was an all-fords type situation. He's managed to navigate to the interstate because I can't imagine that he would live on the interstate. This is a five-year-old. I cannot get my head around this. That is an enormous achievement. A kid looks a lot bigger than a five-year-old. It's a large kid isn't it in that photothat photo? Well, and also I can't, I mean, from the size of my own children, the average sides of my own children, who I understand to both be much taller than

than average, like for their ages, you know. Going off that size, I can't see how either of them could possibly press an accelerator and see where they're going at the same time, or even to get down and press the brake every now and then. The only thing I can kind of imagine is that the kid is, like you said, with an auto, putting it in the gear, and then, you know, if you put an auto in a gear, it will just pull itself along at a slow speed. Uh-huh. He's doing 50 kays an hour. I mean, yeah, see, so he's got to be, he's got to be accelerating and looking over the

dash at the same time. Now, this is, this is reminiscent, and I swear to God, this is true. When I was like 10 or so, I would have have, I would have, I would have, I would have, tod. have a recurring dream. So my parents owned a van, like a kind of bigger than a panel van sort of thing. And like you said, when it's in auto, it just moves by itself. And I would have this recurring dream where I would hop in the van while no one else is around and the handbrake would come off and then suddenly the car would start driving and I would just go through like fences, through like schools, through the shopping mall the whole time just going, I'm sorry while this unstoppable van just plows

through everything. Now that may or may not have something to do with the way that I then grew up and the person that I became? I'm certainly not going to look any further into that. No. And why would you? And it wasn't to purchase a Lamborghini. To purchase a Lamborghini, that's just beautiful. The article continues here. Officer Morgan told KSLTV, he had to help the child get the SUV into park. He was sitting on the front end of the seat so th, so th, so th, so th, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th, th, I, I, I, I tho, I tho, I, I the, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and th. And, and, and thi. And, and thi. And, thin, thin, thin, tho.a. Ando. And, tho-s.C. Ando. Ando. Ando. And, sou. And, sou.C. And, tho. And, thi. And, th thi. And, he had to help the child get the SUV into park. He was sitting on the front end of the seat so that he could reach the brake pedal to

keep the car stopped while I was standing there, he said. Once he was pulled over, the child told the trooper he had intended to drive to California to purchase a Lamborghini for himself. He had $310,000 Australian. I like that the person that wrote this felt compelled to point out that $3 was not enough. This kid's a fucking idiot. This dumb-ass child thought $3 would buy a Lamborghini which is actually a lot more than $3. Officer Morgan said no one was hurt and it will be up to the local prosecutor to decide whether to file charters against the parents who had left the boy in his siblings care while they were away from home.

Hmm. Yeah, that's, that kind of goes a bit further to explaining why, um, how he was able to do all of this in an unsupervised fashion. Which is the thing I only just found out that you can't do. What leave kids at a home with kids? You can't just like close, like if you go to the shops or whatever you can't just put your kids in the house and just top in the car and drive away. What do you mean you only just found out you can't do this? Are you talking like legally or just as a general parenting thing? I mean like morally or you know practically. I was like I think I think I think I think I said to my sister why don't why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why don't don't don't don't don't why why why why why don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't why don't don't why don't don't just why don't just why don't just why don't just why don't just why don't just why don't just why don't just why don't just why don't just why don't just why don't just why don't just I the the to just I don't just I don't just I don't just I don't just I don't just I don't just I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't just why don't don't just just just why don't just just just just they they just they just they just they just they just they just they just they're just they're just they're just they're just they're just they're just're like, I don't know, 10 and 8 or something.

I don't know, what age is the wrong age to leave two children at home? I feel like my parents started leaving us at home alone probably when I was about 11 or 12, I think. That was probably our cutoff. Yeah, and there's different amounts of time that you will leave kids home for as well. Like, I feel like I used to go to, like both my parents worked, so I went to like after-school care, you know, where like one of them would eventually come and pick you up from school like 6 p.m. or something like that, you know. And my, my kid who's in your one, she really wants to go to like, they they they they they they they they they they they they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, like, they, like, they, they, they they to th, like, like, like, like, like, to to to to to to to to to to thi, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th like, th like, th like, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. Like, to, thi. Like, thi. Like, like, like, like, like, like, or something like that, you know. And my kid who's in year one, she really wants to go to like they call it afters at their school and she's like, oh I really want to do that

because she thinks it sounds really cool like to, I don't know, to hang out with a group of other kids at school, after school or something. I actually used to be really jealous of the kids that their after school care. I their after. I their their their their their. I. I their their their their their. I their th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're their. I their th. I the. I the. I theeeeeat theeeeeeeeat. I theeeeeat they're theeeeat. I they're they're they're they're they're they're they're the kids they did after school care. Really? Because it was a fucking bummer. After school care at the, one of the schools that I went to, they had like a fucking Super Nintendo, and a computer with Sim Tower on it. Seemed to fucking sick. My one was just the school hall, you know, with a stage on it where they had assemblies and shit like that. It was just, here's 15

kids in here, hang out. There's no Super Nintendo or anything going on. Oh, you can kick a ball around, you know? There's also something like, at least for me as a kid, there was something super cool about being at school when there was like no other kids there. Like I used to get my dad to drop me into school when he went into work like super early so I was at school like an hour before the other kids got there and I was like I got the whole school to myself this is pretty cool. Gonna re-read the Lord of the Rings for the seventh time. Yeah yeah I so I feel like at that thu th that, we would just walk home like we're

in sort of, I guess, walking distance from the school, would just walk home and then be at home by ourselves for whatever period until the parents got home, you know. And that was probably late primary school to early high school kind of age I think but um but yeah like You like legally you can't like leave your kids in the car and run into the shops Like you just not allowed to do it? Probably for the best. Yeah, which um overall is definitely for thethe best but definitely also sucks when you have like a baby and you just want to like run into a servo and grab something like some milk or whatever because you got to do the entire getting them out of the car seat in some cases waking them up from being asleep and walk inside a place so that you can do a 12 second long transaction and then go and start putting them back in the car again and all that sort... th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi the the thi thi the thi thi. And their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. their their their their their their their their their th. their th. th. th. th. And th. And thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the the. the. theeeeateate. teateate. te. te. teate. theate. the. the. the. And the. do a 12-second long transaction and

then go and start putting them back in the car again and all that sort of thing. But I'm kind of happy to do that if it means that other people are not allowed to leave their kids in the car for like, you know, several hours while I go to the pokey's or whatever. Because that's never a good look, you know? Yes. Yes. Yes. So, so, in in in that, that, that, that, th, th, th, th, th, th, th th th th th the th the th th the th th the th th, the thi, thi, they thi, thi, they thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thi, thi, thi, thi. I's thi. We's thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiioliioliioliiioli. I's thi look. You know? Yes. So in answer your question, Theo, I think you've got to be at least around that kind of maybe 12 years old age to be like left at home for a bit. Right in, if you had neglectful parents who left you home very young for long periods of time and tell

us what it was like, mailbag at Buonto Vista.com. Not if it's not funny though. It's not funny. It's not funny. It's depressing or it's going to make us feel bad about a lack of perspective. Don't make it too funny. Yeah, don't it's got to be really. Don't like outshine us either. Yeah, try and strike an sort of an effortless tone between making us

feel bad for it being depressing or making us feel bad for being funny of us. Yeah, but put a bit of effort into it. But not too much. Too much effort. Oh. Yeah, just shoot for that sweet spot. Yeah, kind of like our incursion. You know what to put too much effort into it, then it looks like, it just looks a bit contrived. Like, look up the name of the country so you can make sure that you're booking the right plane tickets. Or boat ride or whatever the case might be. You know, sometimes there's the airport that's like in the city and there's the

airport that's just way out the fuck nowhere. In this case, you probably want to book the way out the fuck nowhere one and kind of you're halfway to the guerrilla warfare that you're supposed to be committing. One time I caught a bus to Houston and they were like two stops. And I just was like, I'm sure it'll be one of these. They're probably pretty close together. Instead of getting the one that's actually in Houston, I got one that's like 45 minutes out of town in the parking lot of a Burlington Coat Factory. It's great. It's really great.

It's nothing, I've never done very well with like public transport and buses and stuff like that. In that I've sort of, I've never had to do it for a prolonged enough period of time for like my commute because I've always either lived close enough to a school or whatever to walk or have got lifts or whatever it is you know or as an adults have just lived in Canberra and been driving distance my work or riding a bike distance, whatever. So, I've had stretches of catching, it's always a bus, trams, I could deal with buses,

nothing worse than that feeling on a bus of looking around and going, wait, I don't recognize this. No, that's, that can't be. And then you have don't recognize this. No, that's, that can't be. And then you have that period of time, that big window in between, starting to feel like you're pretty sure you're on the wrong bus, and then try to pick the point at which you're going to pull the trigger, and get off that bus and try and figure out where the fuck you are and how long it's going to take you to get back to like the point where you can then go in the right direction again.

I had that happened once on a bus at, no, on a tram at night time in, in Melbourne and like it was in winter so like all the windows were fogged up as well. I couldn't see out the windows at all until some point when I was like, I feel like I've been on here too long. Like wiped a hole in the window and started looking at stop numbers and streets and gone. Oh no. On our honeymoon, we stayed at a place in sort of like rural Italy for a few days and had to take a bus out there.

Get off the bus in nowhere, which is not where the B&B was, so it was like a 3 or 4K walk to the B&B. Get like a kilometer down K walk to the B&B. Get like a kilometer down the road, and I realize everything that was in my back pocket, which includes my wallet and passport, has actually, is actually not in my back pocket anymore. I've lost all of my money and all of my passport. In rural Italy, with nowhere to go. We walked there and we told we actually got to the place and told the story to the lovely couple there and they're like, like clearly this is the kind of shit that does

not boomerang back in in this is the kind of shit that does not boomerang back in this town. They called it and they went out there and picked it up the next morning and someone actually turned it all in and managed to get all of my stuff back to me. It was incredible because we would have been super fucked. Well, the Italians, the Italians, doing something good for once. The Italians, yeah, some good stuff going on there. Thank you. Well, let's end the episode with a thank you to the nation of Italy.

Thanks to the nation of Italy. Thanks to the nation of Italy. Thanks. Thanks. What's uh, oh no, I suddenly can't think of thanks in Italian. Grazzi! Oh, there we go. There you go. Gratty, mila.

Wonderful. Well, thanks to stopping by everybody. And we'll see you next week. Bye. Bye. Bye. you