Boonta Vista - UNLOCKED BONUS EPISODE: Lightly Ratcheted (Non-Sexual)

Episode Date: February 5, 2023

It's Freemium Freebruary! For the month of February we make all our bonus episodes free so you hopefully get very attached to the idea of having two episodes a week. If you enjoy this, check out patreon.com/BoontaVista *** Lucy, Theo, Andrew, and Ben bring you: Barriers overcome for a miracle birth, mental illness cured by a Spinning Grandma simulator, a mystery smell in a supermarket, and two unrelated (maybe) but very cool crimes (maybe). *** Support our show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista *** Email the show at [e-mail]! Call in and leave us a question or a message on 1800-317-515 to be answered on the show! *** Twitter: twitter.com/boontavista Website: boontavista.com Merchandise: shop.boontavista.com/ Twitch: twitch.tv/boontavista

Hey, it's me Ben from the podcast Buntavista. If you're hearing this, it's because you're listening to the free feed and it is Freemium Freibuary, which means for the calendar month of February, February. You'll be getting two episodes a week instead of one. This is a taste of what your life might be like if you were behind the paywall for the Buntavista Patreon where we release two episodes every week. It costs about five US bucks a month which seems kind of cheap for what you get unless you don't like it and then that would probably seem very expensive. It's an option, consider it, see how you feel doing it for a month and if you don't like it, hey don't. There's hey, don't. There's so many fucking podcasts.

Okay, bye. Welcome to another Bluntavista bonus episode. I'm Lucy and we're here on the part of the internet posts about how fuckable Bluie's dad is, and how wet we are for the dad from Cocoa Melin's. I'm Lucy and we're here on the part of the internet post about how fuckable Bluey's dad is and how wet we are for the dad from Cocoa Melon. I hate this so much. Well the guy whose last one was listing sex offenders has decided to object to this one. Okay great. Here with me is my fellow internet mama bear Andrew and he fucke and he f hates his useless husband and he wishes he was getting dick down by a cartoon blue healer who does his share of the child care.

Andrew, is everything okay at home? No. And he's like, he's just, he's so into creative play and I wonder if he'd be into like a bit of creative play in some other areas, you know what I mean? I think where you're coming from. Little role play? Yeah. Interesting. I think you be into it.

Mmm, I think so. Also with me is Theo. He's a busy mum who just wants a man who shares the load, and not just the domestic one. Theo is stuck at home with a toddler, taking a look at the the the the the the the three at the three at the three at the three at the three at the three at the three at the three at the three at the three at the three the three the three the three the three the three thi. at home with the toddler, taking a look at the three-dimensional man on cocoa melon, thinking, hey, that guy's kind of nice with it. Theo, aren't all husbands just pieces of shit? They're so useless. I, I honestly hope my husband's Tesla catches fire.

And it also kills their entire playgroup. It probably will. So you got that to look for it to. I'm going to puke if I hear the H word again. Yeah. Oh. Oh, stupid husband. Finally, I'm here with Ben, who has six children and has gone clinically insane

can no longer jack off to any thea's like the new purple wiggle. There's new purple wiggle, who's jacked for some reason. There's a new purple wiggle. Ben has just posted a Tick Tock saying he wants his pussy excavated by Blippy. Hey Ben, how is motherhood going? You know what? It's the most rewarding thing you will ever do. But I am... Also every single supermarket I go toto I check whether they have the security

bollards out front so I can scope out whether I will be able to drive my car through the front glass just through the aisles. It's relatable. You should make a Tick-Tick-Tock about that. What the fuck is Blippy? What is Blipy? He's a guy who did like diarrhea porn or whatever. Oh! And now he's a children's a bliphaph. the the the the the the the the the the their their their their is their is a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a bliph. Blipipipip. Blip. Blip. Blip. Blip. Blip. Blip. Blip. Blip. Blip. Blip-s. Blip. Blip. Blip. Blip. Blip. Blip. Blip. Blip. Blip. Blip. Blip. Blip. Blip. Blip. Blip. Blip. Blip. Blip. Blip. Blip. Blip. Blip. Blip. Blip. Bl. Bl. Bl. Bl. Bl. Bl. It is th. It is th. It is th. It is th. It's is th. It's is th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's th. It's th. It's. It's. It's. It's th. It's. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's a who did like diarrhea porn. Yeah, and now he makes children's videos where he pretends to be a mentally incapacitated man. Hey, you know who I want to fucking kill?

Yeah? I believe he was on a children's TV show and now he's a, he's a, like a Tick-Tock Instagram comedian. Uh, he's got a... Jimmy Giggle? Jimmy Giggle. Yeah. I didn't realize that was the same guy on the, like the Tick-Tock comedy. That's Jimmy Giggle. Hey, wait a hot second.

If you type in Jimmy Giggle, the first... Okay, these are all of the auto completes for searching Jimmy Giggle, uh, I'm going to give it to a reverse order. Jimmy Giggle Twins, Jimmy Giggle Dancing Dancing with Stars, Jimmy Giggle two thousand and nine, don't know what happened there, Jimmy Giggle Shoge wifie, Jimmy Giggle wife, Jimmy Giggle 202, Jimmy Giggle, FI-1, Jimmy Giiggle, Co the Pfizer. Yeah? Oh, he did the Meanwhile in Australia thing. That sucked.

He always, I hated that. There's a, I've seen a picture where he's like Daniel Andrews dress up. Yeah. Oh, there's a screenshot here of a comedy video he's done, where he's doing, he does a really annoying shape with his mouth when he does videos for some reason and he's holding a coffee cup that has a sticker on it that says Wanker Coffee. Yeah, I guess he's being a, he's being a hipster I guess. Oh he's done that in two different videos. Yeah. No he's done in three different videos. Yeah that's pretty much is is deal. He does the also the wine thing where he drinks like cocktails or whatever and pretends to be drunk. No, that's the meanwhile in Australia thing. Kids TV host turned comedian Jimmy

Giggle shares latest a music video summarizing Australia's current battle with coronavirus including the state-by-state arguments about border closures. That sounds fun. So his things are like, they have all of the, um, all of the aesthetics of something that is supposed to be funny. And so people love it. They lap it up because he's kind of doing like broad comedic movements and stuff. Do you think he's fuckable? Oh, he's very fuckable. He's good. Oh, yeah, I would absolutely let him tear my ass in half.

Pull me apart like that guy about midway through the movie, Tombstone. Wait, no, you're thinking blood... Bone-to-Hawk. Bone Tom Hawk. Yeah, Tombstone, I don't think a guy gets riddled-off. It's mostly Cowboys saying droll cowboy things at each other. Yeah. That's what would have happened if...

What's his name? Oh, fuck. What? What? So the guy. So the guy. So the guy. So the guy. So the guy. So the guy. So the guy. So the guy. So the guy. So the guy. So the guy. So the guy. So the guy. So the guy. the guy. the guy. the guy. the guy. the guy. the guy. the guy. the guy. the guy. th. You th. You you you you th. You you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you th. You you you you you you you you you th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You the guy. the guy. the guy. the guy. the guy. the guy. the guy. the guy. So the guy. So the guy. So the guy. So the guy. So the guy. So the guy. So the guy. So the guy. So the guy. So th. th. th. th. thoo. thoooo. th. th. thoooo. th. th. th. So, what's his name? Oh, fuck. What? What? All right, so the guy that directed Tombstone, George Cosmopolis? That's not his name. His son was a, like, first or second unit of his son's name. His son's name is Cosmos.

Panos? P Cosmetos. And his dad is George P Cosmetos, and his son went on to direct Mandy and Beyond the Black Rainbow. Right. I'm going to have a second pass at this joke. Yeah. Uh, that's what Tombstone would a bit like if it was directed by Panos instead of George.

What? I can't believe you tried to murder me last episode for fumbling a joke. I had three beers. It's hot. I'd let Jimmy Giggle tear me into pieces like a fresh ham and cheese pull apart from Baker's Delight. Yes, bitch. Yeah, yeah, I guess so. Anyway, yeah, the new purple wiggle. Get the latest coupons, doing thirst traps. Oh, one of my kids was like...

John. One of my kids saw that there was a new wiggle. They are, they're well and truly out of Wiggles' interested age. And she said, oh, why are they... Oh, they're not Wiggles curious? No, they're no longer Wiggles curious. And she said, oh, why they they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they're, they, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, the, the, the, the, th. th. than, that, tho, tho, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, th. One, th. One, th. One, one, th. One, th. One, one, one, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, th. One, th. One, one, one, one, th. One, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, oh, why they, why isn't a, and the yellow wiggle there anymore? And I said, and I said, oh, because she got married to the purple wiggle, and then they got divorced, so I assume they didn't want to work together anymore.

Yeah. Yeah. You are, you're not lying about Mr. Purple Wiggle over there? The skivie is not showing off what he's going out to deep. Yeah. Damn. All right, Christ, he's built like a fucking NRL player. All right, I settled down there. Do you think they're consciously, like I assume it's a it's a combination of the work conditions where they've they've repeatedly said in the past, you know, this is an incredibly physically grueling job. We are constantly, uh, the, uh, c-Consi, the, the the the the the, the, the, the, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, they's they's th. C, th. C, he's, he's, he's, th. th. th. th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. thr, thr, thr, thr, thr, thr, thr-he's, the, th. C. the work conditions where they've they've repeatedly said in the past, you know, this is an incredibly physically grueling job We are constantly touring

Well like and if you've ever seen any of the the live performance stuff just imagine like Just jupping on the spot doing the twist on your toes for like an hour straight and you're 35 singing. Yep, and you are 35, yep, and you are 35. I couldn't do it. But yeah, it's no wonder that they all just end up getting railed by whoever's close enough to fall on top of. Because they haven't got time or energy for anything else. It's like the nearest costume designer.

That's it. You're getting fucked in this cupboard. Kid. What were you saying, Andrew? I don't know anymore. I don't know. I assume you would have to be very physically fit, but I think Lucy's on to something. I think there is a factor off. We also kind of want to give the parents a little something

you gotta give the busy moms a little something something all the original wiggle bit out of the the chest measurements on those skivies tie them up a little maybe make it a tee shirt you can have a little something for daddy let's let's get him a purple mankini, a Wiggles mankini. Mmm. Now that's good. Perhaps just a detached skivvy collar, but then he gets to wear what he likes. Kind of like you know the chippendale's bow tie and collar and cuffs. Yeah, you just have the cuffs and neck cuffs the cuffs the cuffs the cuffs the cuffs and neck cuffs the cuffs and neck cuffs the cuffs and neck cuffs the cuffs and neck cuffs the cuffs and neck cuffs and neck cuffs the cuffs the cuffs the cuffs the cuffs the cuffs the cuffs the cuffs the their thuffcks. their thuffi. thu- thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. th. th. th. It's th. It's th. th. th. th. It's th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. It's thi. thi. It's thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their their their their Yeah, you just have the cuffs and neck from a turtle neck and then whatever the fuck else you like going on there. I think this could work.

Where it's time to launch sexy wiggles and make some fucking money. It was so depressing. It's theycalfe Carlson is going to upload a clip from this and be like this is what they're doing. To your children it's happening America right now. They're trying to have sex with the people who entertain your children. They're trying to have gay kisses on the wiggles. Yeah. Yes. Yes. Anybody got anything else about kids entertainers they want to plow? No, I think we've probably done our... I mean if we get started on Play School, we'll be here all day.

I think that wells run dry. Ah, the wiggles. No, actually, sorry, I've misinterpreted the headline that you've thought. If you saw the colors of the wiggles in nature, you think that would be an example of, oh no, fuck, I've forgot what it's called, the thing where things in nature have bright colors to tell you that they're poisonous. Yeah. Theo? Oh, look, I know to the place. I belong, who will take his thu, nature corner, rubber crab, sniffed my dick.

Now just before we get into this, I would like to welcome all of the brand new Patreon subscribers that have come in over the last couple weeks and I hope you've enjoyed the first 10 minutes of this show which have been thoroughly off the rails. This is actually for everyone because it's Freemian Freebury it's Freebie! I thought that was a little thing for the, just for the inner circle, but here we are. Apologies to all. This comes to us from press agency, UPI. The UPI.

The Upie. Japanese Zoo solves mystery of isolated Gibbons pregnancy. The Japanese zoo said it is to solved the mystery of a gibbon who became pregnant while living in isolation. And a tiny hole in a board is to blame. Oh, no. Hey, no, come on. You guys have.

Kewkhoorie ho! You've launched into the worst possible assumption about what they're saying. It's not a gibbon. OK, it's not a that. Don't mind about it. It's not a given. Okay, it's not a given there. No. Zookeepers at Kujukushima Zoo and botanical garden Mori Kirara in Sassibou City, Nagasaki prefecture, said that they were surprised when a La Gibbon named Momo gave birth in February 21, as the ape had been living in her own enclosure without any males present. Yeah, I mean, you do have to kind of flick through the options, including this might be

the, she might have given birth to. Monkey Jesus? Monkey Jesus. Yeah. Or the first human given hybrid. All the first human given hybrid. Humans. Humans has been spending a lot of time in there.

Comes out with the janitor's face. Someone's in trouble. Official said that MoMo was protective of her offspring, so it was nearly two years before they were able to collect enough stool and excrement samples from the mother and baby to perform DNA tests. Hey, can we have some of your babies? No! I'm keeping that. I need that. I need that.

A stool and excrement? Are they not? Yeah. Yeah. Hmm. Is piss excrement? I guess. I guess you're excreating it.

I think excreating it. I know I do. For birds it certainly does. So true. If I said, No, I think women have two holes, or possibly three. See, at least. The dictionary definition of excrument is

waste matter discharged from the bowels or feces. Similar. Ah, stool, droppings, etc. I don't really want to criticize this article because this one website and the one rider that writes their offbeat section constitutes like 30% of the stuff that we read on this show. I love your work. Ben Hooper, please never stop. The father of the male baby was found to be Itu, a 34-year-old agile gibbon.

Zookeeper said the two apes were never on display together, but they discovered that the partition between Momo's exhibit and the backyard where Eto was kept while off display had a perforated board with holes about 9 millimeters in diameter. But it's so funny to think about... Ugh! You're teeny little penis. Please, it's nothing like that. Again, you guys are being disgusting.

There's no way that's what would have happened. Andrew, can you please read the next sentence? Officials say they now believe the apes managed to mate through one of the holes. Oh! They're using tools and they're discovering glory holes. There are only two species in the animal kingdom that have been documented using glory holes. They really, I feel like they're really, Chuck his jobs. Like just a very uncomfortable looking E2 standing off to the side of the podium at a press conference

Feeling like he's really been put on blast Yeah, hey, do we have to? Do we have to talk about the board? Yeah, do we have to say nine millimeters? If we've got to get into the diameter here? If you're an American listener, feel free to look up how much nine millimeters Pretty small. Are you shaming as Gibbons? Yeah? If you're an American listener, feel free to look up how much 9millaries. Pretty small. Are you shaming as Gibbons Dick? Yeah, that's a tiny fucking penis.

It's pathetic. It's so small. Oh, God, I bet everybody laughed and how small is we can't do this. It's freemium freeberry where you can't get right into this stuff. Sorry, I'm just looking up the diameter of a nickel to help, to help our American friends. 19mm, it's half the size of a nickel. Yeah. Oh, half a nickel, you say. That's the only way they know how to measure things. The universal quantity we are. Well, it does also say 0.35 inches in diameter, but that's

a stupid measurement too. That's a stupid way to measure it. Not interested in, you probably third of an inch, I guess. If you're an American listener, we want you to know that we're not happy with your you. We're sick of your shit. the fucking fanciful whims. Figure it out.

How many horseshoes is it? Fuck off. How many cubits in diameter? Was the monkey dickhole? The board has now been replaced by a solid steel plate. And that's a wonderful engineering solution to an engineering problem. Yep. It is. It is.

Uh, officials say they are now planning to attempt to introduce E2 and Momo officially so they and their child can live as a family. Oh my God, they've never met. They've never met. They're having a little blind date. What if they don't like each other's faces? Yeah. What if they have no chemistry? Beyond fucking through a hole.

Oh, put a paper bag on those guys. Yeah. I like that this was a perforated board. Like, there wasn't just a hole in it. Like it's got several holes in it. They didn't think that maybe the monkey stick could fit th th th they they they they they they they they they they they they they 't think that maybe the monkeys did could fit through it. There's no way. Well, I'm wondering if they made all of the perforations. Oh my God.

Maybe. A little bit of environmental story. Will monkeys figure out how to use a glory hole? Fux, I'm sort of like zoo architect being like, well, there's no way there could be a gibbon that exists with a penis this small. Just asking for trouble. My goodness. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. It's a quick turnaround on that story.

Well, I think we said everything we needed to say about it. Yeah. It's the, the hook, the reveal. Yeah. The river, I like it. It's the hook, the reveal. Yeah, the river, the twist and the flop. And of course the prestige. The unveiling, yeah. Oh my goodness. It's very hard to get from that story to this story I'm gonna kind of keep it real with you. If someone tells you that they can save you money on your zoo enclosure by not using solid sheets but instead perforated board, you might be being scammed. It's time for scam watch. I don't know how I came across this one, but I saw an image on Twitter of a human-sized pod and you know that got me excited.

I would like to introduce you guys to a product from Theta Wellness Inc. The Thad Chamber. That sounds so good already. That's like some 1970s shit, right? Like, you know you're going to be on to something good. That sounds so good already. That's like some 1970s shit, right? Like, you know you're going to be on to something good. I'm going to give you their description of it. The Theta Chamber is designed to induce a person's brainwave activity

into a wavelength scientifically referred to as theta state. This is a state of relaxations that is well known to everyone as the drowsy, abstract sensation that one feels as they are falling asleep. This allows the brain to take the majority of its focus off of sensory perception and conscious thought to withdraw into the more profound regions of mental activity that we now know as the biomagnetic field. In this state... Do we know that?

Yeah, we all know that. Okay. It's written right here in the article. I know that now. Biomagnicism. In this state, the task of reprogramming or remapping can be achieved. Our Theta chamber is designed to administer multiple powerful treatment applications in a single session with our three main objectives. Objective 1. Induce a theta brain wave state, opening the brain to suggestion, learning and healing.

Two, signal the hypothalamus to return to producing normal levels of serotonin dopamine and other neurotransmitters. And three, encourage the brain to create and use new normal, neural pathways. I would love to experience a normal level of serotonin and dopamine production, whatever that is. Not with your brain power. That's kind of off the cards, I'm sorry. Okay. They'll try and sort of out all the serotonin will just be pouring out of all those 9

millier diameter holes. Yeah, that's right. San to a washing basket. No amount of Sertruleen or whatever will replace those perforated boards with solid stainless steel sheets. So, Theta trances are real, like the theta brainwave state, that's a thing. We have five different brainwave states we can be in. Yeah, oh six. You might know that, okay. Theta brainwave state perhaps from driving, if you can drive a car, Lucy. I can't. So there's one I don't have that. I haven't. that. I've that. I've that. I've that. I've that. I've that. that. I've that. I've that. I've that. I've that. that. that. that. I've that. that. that. that. that. that. that. thatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheat. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm the. So, tha. So, tha. So, tha. So, tha. So, tha. So, tha. tha have I don't have that one. So you wouldn't know that. But you know that

the feeling that you get if you've been doing like a long drive particularly on say the highway where you kind of snap to sort of and you're like oh I don't actually remember the turns that I've been taking for like last five minutes or whatever, that state that you've been in, that is a theta brainwave. You also get it from just like zoning out when you're doing repetitive actions and stuff. It's actually quite perfectly described by the character in Leia Cake played by Colin Meany when he's talking about how when he reassembles his guns that allows his subconscious mind time to roam, that is the theta state. But you're wondering how does this human-sized pod that you lock yourself in put you in that

state? I am wondering that. Well let me let them tell you, he uses four mechanisms. The first one, binaural beats. Yes. Anyone who gets YouTube recommendations might recognize the concept of binaural beats. These subtle pulses were discovered in 1839 by Wilhelm Dove. What? Cool name. Even though we had YouTube back then. Doing some studying, need some low-fire beats. What kind of headphones do you think he was using? To write by candlelight too.

They were discovered in 1839 by Wilhelm Dove and bring the... In 1839 by Wilhelm Dove and bring the brain into a Theta state. Perfect. Okay. The beats are created when slightly offset tones are played through headphones. The effect on brain waves depends on the difference to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the brain into a theta state. Oh, okay. Perfect. Okay. The beats are created when slightly offset tones are played through headphones. The effect on brain waves depends on the difference in frequencies of each tone. The cerebral hemispheres are synchronized by the beats. That sounds like science to me.

And the correct conditions for neural pathway reestablishment are produced. There's a lot in this about getting reprogrammed. Yeah. I've taken a very long time programming myself. Yeah. I'm worried that if you get in there, start making all my thoughts slippery, you know. So if you listen to some binaural beats, you might not do the hard work you've done. Yeah. That makes chaos in there. Hmm. The second thing they do to induce your theater brainwaves. Visual pattern light stimulation. Oh hell yeah, they got milk drop going in there.

They 100% have a series of different Windows media player visualizations going. Can I get the binaural beats off some marsval to on, please? Yeah, honestly, this sounds like a good time if it was like a, you have a brownie, you pick your music and then you're in a pod with some lights and some, you know. You got windows, media player, screensaver, and binaural beats. Yeah, except you could just do that with your TV and some headphones. Yeah, you can already do this. And some weed. Light patterns a computer generated and calibrated to synchronize with the bidooral beads. Milk drop.

This quickly induces the theta state, opens the brain to suggestion and entrainment, and promote specific healing rhythms. The theta chamber uses computer technology to precisely generate and synchronize these lights for maximum positive effect. Yeah, you're describing milk drop with a visualizer. Yeah, the technology has been around for a little while. Yeah, I like the one that puts you on a roller coaster. That one's fun. If you're looking for entrainment, check out the intro to that episode. Yeah. Two something. Yeah, one where we're in the band train. That's right. The third thing they use to put you in that theta state is crania

electro therapy stimulation. That's probably fine. You're having a nice time. You're chilling, you're watching your milk drop, you listen to your binaural beats, zap. Get then one flow over the cookies, nurse treatment. It sounds good so far. Getting lightly ratcheted, brackets. They the their their to to to their to to to to their thorororororororororor sexual their thorxxed thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thiol thi thi thi. Oh things things things things things things things. Oh th. Oh th. Oh tho thi thi thi thi. Oh thi. Oh thi. Oh thi. Oh th. Oh th. Oh th. Oh th. Oh th. Oh th. Oh th. Oh th. Oh th. Oh th. Oh th. Oh th. Oh th. Oh th. Oh th. Oh thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi thi thi thi thi thi One flow over the cookies, nurse treatment. Getting some nurse-ratches together. That all sounds good so far. Getting lightly ratcheted, brackets non-sexual? They're also just throwing a lot of shit at the wall here as well. Oh, you were going to love the full thing that they're putting it all together. Uh-huh.

CES, cranioectotherapy simulation, is a US-FDA-approved, non-invasive electromed treatment that has been shown to decrease anxiety, insomnia and depression significantly. CES is the main modality utilized in the recovery of drug addiction. Studies have shown that deep relaxation and calm alertness, produced by CES increases suggestibility in hypnotism along with an induced state of openness and heightened awareness, allowing new ideas, memories and subconscious material to come to the surface. So that's three out of four so far.

All right. Calm alert is like the anti-terrorism be alert but not alarmed thing, right? Yeah. Yeah. How can I do that? Yeah, I want to feel like I'm in the security line at an airport. Yeah, personally. You're on edge, but for literally no reason. I want to feel worried that I'm somehow doing something wrong.

Yeah, that's right. Well, I know that I have less than 90 mils of liquid in there and it's in a transparent bag, don't have an umbrella or a laptop, but they might yell at me. But there is one final thing that they do to induce your theta state inside the pod. Vestibule Motion. Okay, now I'm listening. They're shaking that bad boy up. Well, yeah. And I'm not just talking about moving through a th th th tha thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin that I that that that that that that that that that that that I that're shaking that bad boy up. Well, yeah, and I'm not just talking about moving through a vestibule. This is an architectural feature uncommon in most houses. The theta chamber spins. Emphasis theirs. There's an exclamation mark. Now, this sentence might be my...

How fastly talking. Oh my god, I'm so excited the natural rotation of the Earth. Now, RPMs, I... Yeah. That'd be rotations per millisecond? I don't think the Earth goes that fast. It certainly doesn't go that fast. The Earth rotates at like 0.006 rotations per minute.

Okay. Yeah. So it's 0.0694 RPM, which if we divide that by a thousand? Are they doing it like per size? Like if Earth was the size of a human? I don't... I'm confused by this calculation. Regardless of the size of

the object though. So I don't really know how that would work. I'm not sure. We've got to stop talking about maths. Yeah, that's a lot of rotations per presumably milliseconds. Yeah, you know how we're getting flung off the earth at all times. It's just... Sorry, I'm putting this into Wolf from Alpha because I'm hoping it can help us here. So revolutions per... Per millisecond? Millosecond in revolutions. So I'm assuming this would result in all of your skin coming off your bones.

Yeah. Yeah. Basically like being put into a salad spinner, you know So I'm getting that lettuce treatment No, this is Maybe the mean mean RPM's is in plural Oh, that's it. That's it. That's it. That's still very much not the natural rotation of of Yeah, not you get one per day minus a little bit to account for side real emotion. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's. That's. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that. That. That. That. That. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. the. the. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the natural rotation of the earth, not at all. You get one per day minus a little bit to account for side real emotion. Yeah, if it was 13 revolutions per minute, we would have 13 minutes and 13 days a minute.

Oh, well, time to hit the day. Which is derived from a day. Yeah. So that is just a hundred percent entirely insanely incorrect, which is a great... Yeah, great place to start from. Hey, you know how the planet spins 13 times a minute? God, this is... Getting people on board. I like this. They just put it all together. You're watching something, you listen to your binary beads, you get you're getting your brain zapped and you're getting just getting spun around.

You're getting helicopter grandmarned. But you've got some nice beats going on in there. Maybe the idea is that once they let you out you feel a lot better. Like as soon as they stop their stop zapping you and the things stop spinning you're like wow I'm really getting calm. I feel so relieved. I feel so good now that I'm not gonna be the spinning electricity chamber. Well this sucks shit in the pod but out here not so bad. So they say that this is a direct result of NASA research which, judging by the numbers. It's not. This vestibular motion throws off the brain's natural sense of time and space.

Clients say they feel like they are floating or rocking, making a session feel like it lasts anywhere from five minutes to beyond an hour. I don't like the spread on that either. No, that's slightly too chaotic for me. That's way too wild. Yeah. These movements purposely enhance the flow in your biomagnetic field, the place where thoughts and emotions reside.

I don't, I thought it was in the brain. Yeah. Can I just say, Ben, I think that if you spun me around really fast while zapping me with electricity and playing some disorienting sounds, I think that would throw off my natural sense of time and space. Yeah, I guess that's true. This is just like a, you're doing a very, very small, very light torture session on somebody. Are they also like yelling, are you going to stop smoking now at you the whole time? Like, ah! Admit that you're guilty. I did it, whatever it is. And you're probably wondering, well, this sounds great.

But what can you use it to treat? Oh no, you're going to have to wait to find out how much of a cost. The Theta Wellness Center, the unique 21 to 28 day treatment plan. I'm sorry? So it's not continuous. You do get to leave the pod. It may help with anxiety and panic attacks. I don't think that's going to help with your panic attack. No, I feel like it might thia to thia. thua. th you that. that. that. that. that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that's that that's that's that's that's that's that that that's think that's going to help with your panic attack. No, I feel like it might give me one. Depression. All right. Anger. Addictions. They list four specific addictions here. I'm addicted to not being in the zap pod. Well, that won't help with that because

it only helps with drugs, alcohol, sugar, and gaming. Gaming. not even gambling but gaming. Throw your gamer into the torture pod. I'm going to get my son Cody spun. It sounds like it's specifically... I'm going to spit the overwatch out of you. Yeah, it sounds like it's specifically for like modern warfare players. Yeah, they make you leave your monster in if you drink at the door. What if they come out stronger, like an astronaut?

Or no. And unafraid of death. I can treat insomnia, fear, migraines and headaches, chronic pain, PTSD, ADD, ADD, ADHD, bipolar disorder. Fibromyalgia. Ha! Ha! No it can't. That classic brain disease.

That's the thing it can't do the most. That's the top one that I'm 100% sure it won't. What an insane claim to throw in there with everything else. I love these ones as well because there's just there's no, there's no modesty to it at all. It's just like, eh, probablythere's no modesty to it at all it's just like yeah probably what do you got what what I'm disease sure whatever get in get in it's gonna spin that tick juice right out he I could also treat unwanted behaviors it sounds like something you're doing to another person you're like my son

Granithin please get his behaviors out please spin him It sounds like something you're doing to another person. You're like, my son, Grenethon. Please get his behaviors out. I spin him for you his name. My son sucks out. His vibes are all the wrong. He keeps trying to get out of the zap tale. I can also help with learning enhancement. Uh-huh.

I don't know what that means, but also the way they phrase this they say that it can treat learning enhancement. And the final is and more, all caps exclamation mark. I love more. Yeah. Now this might sound completely fabricated and entirely bullshit but it actually has a very long story to history. Here's a little timeline they provide of three times. First, the 1950s. This is from Da Vinci Medical, which sells the Theta Chamber.

Starting in the... Sorry. Calling your revolutionary medical devices. Da Vinci medical. Calling your revolutionary medical devices, Da Vinci Medical. So you know the geniuses are making them. Oh my god, you should see what else these people sell. Yeah, like blankets you lie on that use magnets to heal your entire body.

It's incredible. Awesome. Starting in the late 1950s, when it was discovered as a method of paid relief, microcurrent stimulation has been administered in many ways and under many conditions. Early on, a device was developed that administered microcurrent signals through the earlobes into the brain. The device was worn by the patient for 23 hours each day for many weeks in order to have the desired effect, such as treatment of heroin addiction, anxiety, depression, or insomnia. So, 23 hours, you're not taking that off in your sleep.. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. In th. In th. In th. In th. In th. In th. In. In. In. In. In. In. In. In. In. In, th. In, th. In, th. In, th. In, the the thi. thi. thi. thi. toa. toa. toa. toa. toa. toa. toa. toa. toa. the thi. the the thi. thi. thi. heroin addiction, anxiety, depression, or insomnia.

So 23 hours, you're not taking that off in your sleep. You get like an hour of walking around try. You get an hour in the middle of the day where you don't have alligator clamps on your earlobes delivering a mild shock to you. Now this next one, I'm going to need you to pull pull over I need you to pull out your phone I need you to go to duck duck go images and prepare to type something in you know about to see one of the most incredible images of your life nineteen eighty nine in 1989 Lauren Swenson developed the Omega brain 5,000 stop what you were doing immediately and look at the image results for the omega brain 5,000

Is that one word? It is three separate two words in a number. I'm just getting pills. I'm just saying blackmore's omega brain You're gonna have to put that in quotation marks. I'm afraid. You didn't have someone meant to do all of this while they're driving then? That's why you should pull over. Uh-huh. Oh, oh, oh, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, now. Yeah, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, to, to, to, to, to, to to, to to to to to to to to to to to to to have to have to to to to to to to to to to to to to put to put to put to put to put to put to put to put to put to put to put to put to put to put to put to put to put to put to put to put to put to put to put to to to to to to th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. the th. the the the the the tho the the tho the image tho the image tho tho tho the image thoo thoo the image thoo tho tho tho tho. tho. didn't. How someone meant to do all of this while they're driving, Ben? That's why you should pull over. Uh-huh. Oh, right. Now we're talking. Is that not?

Some Star Trek shit. Uh-huh? So it's a pod on a very tastefully coincidence based on what I found by Googling this man, standing next to Yeah, the Omega Brain 5000. It just doesn't look that different from the Theta one. If anything it actually looks better? It looks better. It's more stylish. It looks more, it's a bit like mid-century modern. Yeah, it looks like something that OmniCorps would use to like restore Robocops. Yeah, Robocups inside that part. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's th. Yeah. It's th. It's th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's th. Yeah. Yeah. It's th. Yeah. It's th. Yeah. Yeah. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's the the the the the the th. It's the the the the the the the the the the thi. the the the the the th. the the the the th. Yeah. like something that OmniCorps would use to like restore Robocops. Yeah, Robocops inside that pod. This is what they put like dead bodies on in alien to fire them out into space. Yeah, a hundred percent. You have

a funeral, funeral pod. You're smoking a cigarette, you're doing a few like hard, rapid keystrokes on that very physical keyboard and then it's ejecting them through the escape pods. Also if you Google the name of Lauren Swenson, you will find that they were arrested for being a pedophile. But don't worry, I think that was actually just this guy's dad. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's good news. Yeah. The Omega Brain 5,000 sharply increased efficiency by only administering treatment when the brain is already the treate treee treate treate treate treate treate treatm tree tree tree tree tree tree tree tree tree tree, um tree, um tree, um the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their tree. tr-c. tr-apea tr-upe. tr-upe. tr-upe. tr-upe. tr-upe. the. the. the,000 sharply increased efficiency by only administering treatment when the brain is already in the theta state. This dramatically reduced the total elapsed time of treatment from 23 hours down to just two, while increasing overall effectiveness because it is administered while

the brain is most capable of receiving it. And then the last point on this timeline is the present. The modern state-of-the-art Theta Chamber is a result of 30 years of evolution and refinement of Lauren Swenson's original device. Oh, it's the Pto the Pto guy. No, sorry? I can see how you can, yeah, no, this is... The Peto guy's son. Oh, the pito is Lauren E.Swenson Swenson Swenson Swenson Swenson Swenson, Swenson, Swen, Swen, thsoen, thsoen, thsoen, thsoen, thsoen, thso, thso, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th-s, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho, tho, tho, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, thi. It's, thi. thi. the. the. the. the the the the the the the the the theat theat, is, is, is, thi. It's, is, the Pino is Lauren E. Swenson. Okay. This guy is Lauren L. Swenson, who is the CEO of Energy Development, Soul X-3, the

Quantum Wellness Center, and Everlast Energy. Okay. They all sound so legit. Everlast is the band or the drink? Everclear is the drink and the band. Everlast is the sports brand. That's right. Well and also Everlast is a musical artist but he's a solo artist not a band. Okay. Everlast was the was the lead rapper from House of Pain you might know

there's a song jump around and then he went on to do a solo album where he sang songs called the album was called Whitey Ford sings the blues and then you really might know what it's like yeah well the good news is you can buy a theta chamber if you like for the low low price in United States dollars of $76,500. Pardon? Yeah. Can we write that off as a business expense maybe? I mean if it helps you with your grind, absolutely. So do you you administer this at home yourself? Well I think there are a lot for your clinic? You buy it for your clinic. Okay. So you're making money. If you're a broke ass homie, yeah. Yeah. So your initial outlay, but you're making bank on this.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, particularly income. Yeah. Oh, I think the pot. Get in the pod. Get in the park. If you're charging, if you're charging like medical session prices and you're putting them in there for,

you know, 23 hours a day, you're going to get that money back in no time. Yeah, for all the people coming in for their midnight the Theta Chamber Sessions. The Theta Wellness Center did have prices on it, actually. I think they were charging something like 100 bucks per half hour if you weren't a member. It's not bad. They're also cleaning up on subscriber models as well. Because I bet it's like a gym thing where a ton of people subscribe to basically never go. Yeah. Which is like, yeah.

Because you really got to cancel online. You got to call him and then they're going to try to keep you on. Yeah, we don't even answer the phone. And when we do, we're like, oh, we can help you out so much. Yeah, they're in there saying, oh, it's really effective. Like, there's so many people who come in here and we give him a really good 23-hour zapping and they never come back again. Super effective. Now, this might be pretty steep, but they do offer free shipping within the contiguous United States. So if th. their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th. th. th. th. th. th. T. T. T, th. T, th. T, their, their, thi, thi, thi, their their th. There's th. There's th. There's that, th. There's th. There, th. There, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, their, th, th, th, th, th. There, th. There, th. There, th. There, th is th is th is that, that, their, that, their, that, their, their, that, that, they, they's that, that, that, their their their that. So if you're in Alaska Hawaii, go fuck yourself. It's built to order, so it'll take them about two to three months, and you get a one-year warranty on it.

All right. If I'm buying a $76,000 500. Yeah, I probably want more than a year warranty, huh? There's also a little teeny tiny, just little nothing disclaimer on the bottom of the listing for it. The products on this website are not intended to diagnose, prevent, treat or cure any disease. Awesome. So good. These people are a fucking amazing. I feel like you should need a license to administer like electromagnetic stuff. Like that's real, that's a real thing. But I don't think anyone can just give it. You can administer binaural beats to whoever you like.

I'm not gonna like, that's a free for all. Anyone, no control. You can zap your brain with like a nine-volt battery, I heard about it on radio lab. You can do that at home. Is that good for you? Apparently it helps you with your brain focus. That means there's a real thing that you can like just wet your head and zap yourself with like a nine volt battery. I'm not, I'm not promoting that. Yeah. I can even wet in your head might. Google it. Do you research. So um, it does kind of look to me vaguely as well like you know those sensory deprivation tanks and me and Theo were talking about a thing on Reddit the other day where somebody was asking for legal advice about getting food poisoning or nor a virus or whatever right before they got into a

sensory deprivation tank and having diarrhea through the whole thing. And it was a right off for the tank. Yeah, yeah, and you have to imagine that when the staff cracked that bad boy open, the first thing they said was, what's that smell? Hmm. Really? It's stink. And the truth is, I feel so angry. And the truth is, I feel so angry. And the truth is, I feel so fucking sad.

And the truth is, I feel so fucking sad. And the truth is... It's like sex in here. Thanks, Theo. There's a lot going on. Yeah, and definitely. Yeah, there was no way they could be a simple version of that. Look, I think we all had a song in mind that could have gone against the

It wasn't that one. It wasn't that could have gone against the, against the thing and it just took me, it wasn't that way. It was, yeah. I, I thought that was the assignment. You did great, sweetie. Nailed it. Yeah, I like to. You nailed it.

It's nice. Nailed the baby. Sorry for being critical. This comes from the Darby Telegraph. Bad smell at Derby Lidel Store repulses shoppers and no one knows what it is. I'm not resolving a smell. I'm sorry. Okay. Well, that's, are we getting an overlap with tabloid phenomenon here?

It is a bit tabloid a year. Yeah. A strong smell at Derby Lidle Store is horrifying customers. The back aisle at the new branch of the German budget supermarket on... What the fuck is that? Atoxeter? New Road? What? Yeah, I think. I'm going to give you this for yourself, listener. U-T-T-O-X-E-T-E-R. I think we're going to have British people writing be like, it's pronounced oxter.

Yeah. And then expect us to know which letters we were meant to have not said. Why there's so many letters in that. Yeah, I think it's so there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there's so there's so there's so there's so there's so there's so there's so there's so many there's so many there's so many there's so many there's so many. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Why there's so many there's so many there's so many there's so many there's so many there's so many there's so many there's so many there's so many there's so many there's so many there's so many there's so many there's so many there's so many there's so many. Why there's so many there's so many there's so many. Why there's so many there's so many there's so many there's so many. Why there's pronounced little the store by the way. Okay. I thought it was little. Yeah, little. Is it little? Yeah. British people tearing their hair out throughout this. Evident while shopping for alcohol or queuing for the self-checkouts, at the back of the store closer to the main road, the smell is akin to that of human feces. It seems... Really isn't that solves the mystery the mystery the mystery the mystery the mystery the mystery the mystery the mystery the mystery the mystery the mystery the mystery the mystery the mystery the mystery the mystery the mystery to to the mystery to to the mystery to the mystery to to to to to to th. It's to be to be to be to th. Is it's to be to to to to to to to to to to to to th. Is it is is. Is it is to to to to is. Is it is to is to is to is to is to is to is to to is. Is it is. Is it is. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. feces. The origin... It seems... Oh man, isn't that to be like it solves the mystery.

Yeah, straight up some shit that someone did. When you say akin, it's pretty specific smell. Sounds like it's the same. We had a similar situation at the, in the car park underneath the building that the bar is in, where up in one of the corners there was there there there there was there was there was there was there was the the the the the the that that that that that that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that solves that solves that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was the car park underneath the building that the bar is in where up in one of the corners there was a smell that smelled a lot like

shit and sometimes you'd go up there to get something and I was like damn that smells like shit and then I'd talk to my co-works and say it really smells shit up there and then a year later we found out that there was a pipe from a to the toilet that that that that that that th th th th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to to to to to to toilet that had broken behind one of the walls and the smell was shit This turds just slipping down Yeah, Occam's razor Yeah, so you'd say it was akin to the smell of human shit. Yeah as a kid as it can be. Yeah The origin of the scent has not been discovered despite it lasting several weeks

A customer said I went in with my friends one Friday and it was unbearable. I nearly had a lie down in the fruit aisle. I love that thing. I love that thing. I like having a lie down is a nice little British expression. I had to buy some air sanitizer to hold in front of me nose while paying a cue for me stuff. What, sorry, sorry, sorry, Pegg. While queuing to pay for me stuff.

The strength of the pungent pong has fluctuated over time. At one point in December, shoppers were seen covering their noses due to the severity of it. The lack of an understanding as to where the smell is coming from may be the reason that the issue hasn't been sorted out. Yeah. It might be. Yeah. Or laziness? Yeah. Or we can see the big thing. They love it. Yeah. Oh boy. The little on Uxtern you wrote? I definitely made that up.

That is not how that's pronounced. Yeah, but you might be right. Jesus Christ. Yeah, and it's less talking as well. It has proved popular among students and locals since it opened last May due to its location near the city centre. The site was previously untamed wasteland after the building that used to house capital self-storage was demolished and the area's road network was rebuilt.

What does that mean? Is that just like a little pocket of like Mad Max? Yeah, that's a strange phrase. Do you just mean there was nothing there? Was it like grass there? Yeah, Wasteland is very like... It's been a strange phrase. Yeah. It's an empty lot, maybe. You guys are gonna fucking hate this by the way.

I got two pronunciations here. Utoxida? Or locally, Uchida. Uchida, now that's taking some license. Yeah, I wasn't gonna get that, wasn't I? Come on now, that's you being ridiculous. Fuck off. Fuck off.

Grow up, get out. Learn a book of English. Yeah. Learn English. Not whatever, weird, pokeykey local shit you're doing. Maybe they um, maybe they built it on top of a, an old toilet block and now they're being haunted, you know? Possibly. An old Indian toilet. Shit burial ground.

Uh-huh. Unfortunately, it isn't the only supermarket in Derbyshire to have been struck by a stench in the past few months. I don't think any of us would have claimed that it was. The stinkiest city. Stink city. This place sucks. If you live in Derbyshire, please tell us what you've smelt lately.

The Stic capitals of the world, Derbshire and Salt Lake Seats. They're actually sister cities on Wikipedia. Aldi at the meteor center fell foul in October and Morrison's in Bolsevo was subject to a bad odor in December. Oh fuck is going on around there. What's going on down there? Maybe there's just a serial shitter. Serial shitter. That sounds like it. Yeah. Well, I mean, we can't- The guy that owns the Tesco. Oh, the Tesco turtor? Tesco turtor himself. I think we can't, we can't point any fingers since we've had like,

mystery, pizzy. Oh, famously not a mystery. No mystery. You can definitely identify any jogger. There's some old guy. Andrew what's his name? God. Moving on. And we'll never find what that's her name was.

Andrew Douglas Macintosh to his 68 years old. That's got to suck having that out there. Yeah. Oh man, News.com. That are you describes him as Poojonga and Corporate Executive. Probably wanted to be known more for the first one. Yeah. Oh boy.

A little spokesperson. Couldn't find a bigger one, said. Sorry, the mic only goes down this far. We can confirm that we're aware of this and our teams are working on to resolve it as soon as possible. We'd like to thank customers for their patients and apologize for any inconvenience caused. Handing up pegs at the front. We've got some comments here from locals on this story. A little bit of local colour. Yep.

Cheeky Chad Chuffer writes. Morrison's Derby as a bit of pong too. Don't know if it's the toilets but you can smell as you walk towards the cafe outside. Uh, yeah, Mr. Chuffler replies. What? And it sounds like we're making this up. Yeah, but these are the names on their birth certificates. Agreed. We popped in earlier this week and left very quickly due to the whiff.

I smell like rotting vegetables in a large part of the shop. It's just interesting that they've got a similar name. It's clearly the owner of the Tesco's, Mr. Chuffler. Yeah. I think it's sabotaged all the way. Creating multiple accounts accounts being like, yeah, fucking stinks in those shops. Bobby Chufflington coming in, being like, oh my God, it reeks so bad I threw up. I have to leave.

Like, why doesn't the chuffler? Tesco just smells lovely, that lavender? I think the sort of lavender and vanilla. I'm getting over there there, delightful, delightful, delightful, delightful, delightful, delightful, delightful, delightful, delightful, delightful, delightful, delightful, delightful, delightful, delightful, delightful, delightful, delightful, delightful, delightful, delightful, delightful, delightful, delightful, delightful, delightful getting over there delightful uh... Darbyborn says the last time I went in there some student types were being stupid and loud throwing stuff around they didn't like my disapproving look and when I left the store they were waiting and block the exit you're getting bullied by teens. I scowled at them.

You're a fucking weirdo. I took my time loan in the car and two other cars needed to get out. Caused them to move out the way. It's not the store's fault but a sign of the type of customers you may encounter. How much students, student types. With a, with a reply from Mrs Winter saying, Sounds like there's far more to this than you are letting on. Like what?

She's right to say it. And we'll cover more as the story to tell us. We need to talk to Darby Ball and find out what the fuck happened there. Also, that was the edited version of their comment, by the way. They've gone back for a second pass. You lying slack. Oh, teens. If I had my way, we lock them all up so they couldn't be out here bothering us in the local

Tesco and such But there's many other crimes to looktry. Help me! Yeah! Help me! I'm not a threat! Hey! HENBREE! This comes with some CNN. The crime news network. Crime news network. That's right.

This comes with some CNN. The Crime News Network. Crime News Network. That's right. Easy. It came out easy. The bloody Clinton news network probably. That we repeat ourselves. Did you guys see, uh, did you guys see, um, that like, uh, now this will be fun for you Americans. Osher Gunsberg. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, he's got some new show? And it's like, uh, that's like, now this will be fun for your Americans. Osha Gunsberg, yeah, he's got some new show and it's like, like, remember how 20 years ago the Chaser did like a CNN, N, N, N, N, N, thing? Yeah. It's just that, but with like eight ends. Oh, but, but it's Osha Gunsberg, host of The Bachelor, former host of Channel V, Total Request Live.

Things are messages. Yes. He's occasionally nice to us on Twitter, so he might listen to the show. So I only say nice things, please. Uh-oh. Yeah, he's, uh, this is from the Daily Mail. It sounds great. It's like a great show! I love it.

And it's, it's, it's called Nighttime News Network National Nightly News, NTNN, N, N, N, N, N, N, okay. Okay. I love it. Yeah, that sounds really good. Can we be on it? Put us on TV. Just the project? Yeah, get us on there. You can't see th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. tho. tho. tha. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. th. It's th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's. It's. It's, th. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It. It's. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's, th. It's, tha. It's tha. It's tha. It's like, tha. It's like, tha. It's like, tha. It's like, tha. It's like, tha. It's like, tha. It's, th Yeah, get us on there. You can't see us, but we're very handsome. Two of us are good looking enough for television, so I think we're going to easily do this. It's up to you to figure out which. Yeah.

Let's have a season of the Bachelor. Do not write in to tell us that we've secured the drip if it looks like we might have? Nothing more than that. Christ. And that goes for just generally. If it's someone that you don't have an existing relationship of trust with, don't comment on them beyond telling them whether or not they've secured the drip. And never tell them they haven't secured the drip. That's mean. I think that we should do a season season season season season season season season season season season season season season season season season season season season season season season season season season season season season season season season season season season season season season they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they theythem they haven't secured the drip. That's mean. Yeah. I think that we should do a season of The Bachelor where the four of us are The Bachelor. Yeah, yeah. But none of us are in committed relationships. Yeah, well we all had fun here. Yep. No, you get to, maybe you get to sort of have a relationship with like the podcast as opposed to, you don't get to go home with like one of us. You get to hang out out out out out out the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the season, the the season, the the the season, the the the the the the season season, the the the the season season season of season season of the the the the season season season season of the season season of the the the the the the the the the th sort of have a relationship with like the podcast, as opposed

to, you don't get to go home with like one of us. You get to hang out with us. You get to join, oh yeah, hang out with us. Yeah, once. Yeah. You're all disdaining. You're all disdaining. Oh, you haven't finished for 30 weeks.

We have. We all got pots, so it actually took us like no time. We're out here. We're not going to a second place, by the way. Yeah, I'm already drunk. I'm sleepy. I'm pre-drank and I'm ready to go home. Yeah, I have four UDLs on the train, so this pot really pushed me over the edge. I have four U.S. I have four us. the the the the the the the the to the to to the to to the train, so technically I've had my drink already. Yeah, let's just get you a beer.

I was metabolizing the alcohol from the moment they said hello to you. Yeah, so I fulfilled my end of the contract. How much money you got in your wallet? Uh, this comes to us from CNN. The Clinton Crime News Network. Man wanted for leaving a dead fish at the Gooney's house, saved by Coast Guard in daring rescue. That was a ride.

It's a wonderful headline where there is no connection between three of the elements in there. God. Why would a man leave a dead fish at the Goody's house? Who knows? Why would you have to be saved by the Coast Guard? Is it related to the fish? I guess there's no way for us to find out. So it's the Gooney's house underwa due to climate change? That's what it is. Do you think they're talking about the house that?

The main kids lived in, Josh Brolin and John Ashton. Josh Bro- really? Really? He was one of the Goonies? Not a 10-X man. And then there was a guy that kind of like wiggle his ex-billy. I think elder millennials watched the Goonies growing up.

I don't think I've seen it. Well, you don't have have to have to have to have to have to have to have the the to have the their their their their their their their their their the Goonies growing up? I don't think I've seen it. Well you don't have to watch it now because you're an adult. There's literally no reason for you as a 30-something-year-old man to go back and watch a child's movie that you missed. Yeah. I know about a house and I won't. You could though. There's no reason to do. No. A man wanted by police in Oregon in a bizarre incident in a house featured in the Goonies was the subject of a daring Coast Guard rescue when he was tossed from a stolen boat as it capsized authorities said. There is so much happening.

That's just another sentence. That's a life well lived. You could have put that one in the headline too. Jesus. Yeah. Yeah. On Wednesday, police in Astoria, Oregon received a report that a man had left a dead fish on the porch of the house used in the Goonies, police said in a news release. Again, people love to call the cops.

Because a man left a dead fish somewhere. Again, people love to call the cops because like... Because a man left a dead fish somewhere. Probably could have dealt with that one yourself, I reckon. You know what a... I hate to put Americans on Blast another time. They fucking love to call a place a storia. They do. Yeah. They got Astoria's all over the place. It is... it is a very nice. It's a roll off the tongue kind of word, but you get one of them. The 1985 comedy adventure was based on a story by Steven Spielberg.

Thanks. Thank you. Not relevant. No. Thanks. I'm D.B. N. N. N. N. Affiliate. KG.W. Theugawa, reported that surveillance video at the house showed the man laying the fish on the porch and making a cell phone video of it before walking away. Laying that fish to rest. Is this a reference to something in the movie? Not to my knowledge. I don't recall laying a fish downak a key element in that movie Yeah, I don't remember anything and I watch that movie constantly

The man was identified The police searched two days for the man identified as 35 year old Jericho Labont Cool name. Yeah, great. Respect on Friday morning the Coast Guard received a May Day broadcast from a man piloting a boat at the mouth to the to' the to' the the th... th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to me to me to me to me to me to me to me to me to me. Yeah. to to to me. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the te. te. te. te. te. te. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. I. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to., great. Incredible name. Respect. On Friday morning, the Coast Guard received a May Day broadcast from a man piloting a boat at the mouth of the Columbia River, the agency said in a series of tweets. Coast Guard video showed two helicopters arriving to find the boat being tossed by waves, the Coast Guard said on Twitter. The surf made rescue by boat dangerous so the air crew decided to lower.the rescue swimmer and have the owner enter the water for rescue the rescue swi, the twee, the twee, the twee, the twee, the twee, the twee, the twee, the twea, the tweet, the the the

twea, t. Yeah, that a beautiful image. The Coast Guard didn't name the rescued man but posted a photo of him being carried out of the helicopter. He was taken to a hospital in Astoria treated and discharged. After images of the water rescue aired, police said they received a call from the Astoria Port Security Chief saying the vessel and the rescue had been stolen earlier that day. This guy rules. Hmm. He's got some interesting stuff going on. What's he doing out there?

This guy's just power walking through life. It's like, you cannot slow him down. I will disrespect you, the odor of this vessel. I've got a lot on today. Laying fish everywhere. I'm doing mafia threats. I'm doing this vessel. I got a lot on today. Laying fish everywhere. I'm doing mafia threats. I'm doing piracy. What else you've got?

I'll disrespect to you, fish that I'm not going to eat. Maybe she's doing exotic types of crime. 7.45 p.m. time to fire two do like a lot of crimes. Next he's going to be doing sky piracy and taking it to Cuba. Cuba is going to be like oh we don't, we don't really, we don't really doing that one anymore. Yeah, good old school. I stopped doing that.

Quote, at about the same time we received calls from several citizens identifying to rescue the police news release said. After research and asking the public for his assistance, LeBont was arrested Friday night at a warming center in seaside about 70 miles to the south. I didn't read that line when I was putting that story in, that's unfortunate. That indicates that that man might be perhaps unhoused. Oh, is that what a warming center is? Yeah, they set those up as shelters for people. Yeah, hmm. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well, that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th th th th th they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. thi. the. the. too. too. too. tea. too. too to tea. to to toea. to to thea. the. their they set those up as shelters for people. Yeah, well I'm glad he had a fun day. Yeah. Yeah. You feel good about yourself, man? I feel worse now. No, honestly. We're not critical of this man, he's done nothing wrong. Yeah. If you're a great name.

Yeah. If you're a stateless person or you, you know, out of, stateless, out of home. If you live at an airport, but you've lost your passport. Yeah, etc. Yeah, you should be allowed to do this all day every day. Yeah. Yeah. Also, this guy's got a name where you can imagine Matthew McConaughey saying it the same way. He says Reggie Le Doe in True Detective. Absolutely. Jericho Le Bonn. Mm-hmm.

La Bonn. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Our crime pass this week is, uh, if you are homeless, just fuck up whatever you want until we actually decide to tackle that as a society. You can lay a dead fish any to thiolm. Any movie house you can think thi thi thi thi thi thi thiol thi thi thi thi thi-a thi-a thoen thoen thoen tho tho tho tho tho tho tho to to to to to to to to to tho-a tho lay a dead fish anywhere you want to. Steal a blimp. Any movie house you can think of, throw a fish down.

Hmm. And hey it says here the exact charges were not immediately known. So they got nothing what is the charge? Yeah what's the charge here officer? Yeah what is the crime is committed? But don't name too many. No. One. Well shout out to Monsieur Lebalt. I hope he gets any in all help that he needs. Don't know where to go with this. Oh, that's the podcast. Oh, God damn. I feel like we're on a great run right up until that.