Boonta Vista - UNLOCKED BONUS EPISODE: Mr Bean Syndrome

Episode Date: March 13, 2020

We're unlocking our bonus episodes for the indefinite time period in which people are self-quarantining, because when all you have is a podcast, everything looks like a problem you solve with podcast episodes. Enjoy! *** Andrew, Theo and Ben introduce brand new segment Nude Man Watch, get to know the world's most obnoxious coronavirus victim, and mourn the loss of the Paniyiri Greek Festival. *** Support our show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista *** Email the show at [e-mail]! Call in and leave us a question or a message on 1800-317-515 to be answered on the show! *** Twitter: twitter.com/boontavista Website: boontavista.com Merchandise: boontavista.com/merchandise Twitch: twitch.tv/boontavista

Welcome to Bundavista. It's a bonus episode. I'm Andrew, I'm here with Ben and Theo. And we're all here participating in this Guinness World Record attempt at the world's biggest handholding chain. Hands across Australia, we're calling it. None of us have looked at the news in weeks. Too engroast in our task. Too busy calling other people and asking if they'd like to hold hands for a prolonged period of time and not understanding why they hang up immediately. And it's really hard to find people locally as well. We've had to go abroad for this.

We've had to call in friends from Iran, Italy, China, all over to make this dream a reality. And of course the only people you can get in on that kind of notice are people who have racked up a lot of frequent flyer miles because they're jet-setting around the world, they're in all the busiest airports. They're meeting and greeting people. They're doing a lot of hand-holding of their own in the form of shaking hands. A very positive thing that everybody should do whenever they see someone. Pressing the flesh out there. Pressing that flesh.

And ideally you want people with a lot of spare time, like say, the elderly. Oh, they love a Guinness record, don't they? Oh, well, you get a shirt, probably. Tell us the most fucking something of something, and they just go wild for it. I have not confirmed yet that we're getting shirts. From Guinness? Do you think Guinness supplies the shirts? Why wouldn't they? Because you've got stuff where it's like the most people to ever turn up at a whatever where it's like 30,000 people. And then sometimes it's like... That's 30,000 shirts.

Yeah, it's a really asymmetrical agreement where sometimes it's like, oh sure, we're giving one guy a shirt because he ate the most amount of cheesecake in a single sitting. And then sometimes he given it to an entire football stadium because all of them the Harlem Shake. Now, speaking of, speaking of like, you know, pandemics and such and football stadiums. What? What are we talking about? What? It's just come over the wire? No, he's talking about the viral sensation that is the Harlem Shake. Look, remember 2019, 47 years ago? Theo, I don't think the Harlem Shake was 2019.

I'm going to say that was like 2017. Oh no, oh no, the ravages of time. Time is slipping through your hands like water. Yeah, I'm going to agree. It went viral in early February 2013. Oh my God! like water. Um, yeah, I'm going to agree. It went viral in early February 2013. Oh my God! Oh, fuck!

Oh no! Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no! Falling back down the tunnel of time. Oh my god, we're basically dead. Oh, we're circling the event horizon of a black holo right now. Fucking out.

Hey, while we're getting into the origin story here of the meme itself, the meme form was established in a video uploaded on February 2nd, 2013 by YouTube personality Joggi on his disaster music channel, that's D-I-ZZeaster music-T-A music, Dizzister Music. The video featured the character Pink Guy from the filthy Frank show entitled Filty Compilation Number Six, Smell My Fingers. What the fuck you're talking about? The words is coming out your mouth right now don't make sense. This is the weird like transitionary point culturally from like skits mix 97 to the YouTube society that we have now. Yep so that was

the... We do live in a YouTube society. So that video opened with the first use of the Harlem Shake meme and started a viral trend of people uploading their own Harlem Shake videos to YouTube. I wonder if American EDM producer Bauer got some good royalties off the 100 million plays of what, less than 30 seconds of the Harlem Shake? Or is it just a fair use thing if of what less than 30 seconds of the Harlem Shay. Is it just a fair use thing if it's less than 30 seconds is it fair use? Well certainly not in Australia it's got to be like less than like four seconds. Wow. I'm pretty sure don't quote me on that. Also I think the money to

be made there is when like three years later ad companies got around to the meme and they started using it they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they th th th thed just just just just just just just just just th th th th th. It's just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just th th th th th they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're thed thi thi thi thi thate thate thate thate thate thate that that that that that that that that that that that they're that the money to be made there is when like three years later ad companies got around to the meme and they started using it, they would have been licensing it then and that's when those big bucks start rolling in. And I would give my opinion on copyright law, but I've got some soup to eat sooop so you guys sort out. You're still on that soup, huh? I'm going to say it's a big bowl of soup and I eat soup extremely slowly. So...

How chunky is your soup? You're soup? You're soup. Because I'm taking some issue when you use the word eat here. Oh, it's very... it's about... I would say about 80% solid. Okay, so on the Bristol stool chart, it's the seven day. The thing everybody wants to compare this here to. Well if you can think of a heavier

existing scale for solidity I would like to hear. My goodness my goodness. Hey uh while we're learning about the homeshake there is a section of the Wikipedia entry marked success, explaining why it was successful as a meme. So the videos normally, about 30 seconds long, the success of the videos was in part attributed to the anticipation of the breakout moment and their short length, making them very accessible to watch. 30 seconds is a long meme. Yeah, that is a, that is, that is, just an unimaginable amount of time to spend watching one thing now.. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the m m m m m meme, their, th. thi, their, their, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi, thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thiiiiiii. thii. thii. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi Yeah that is a that is Imagine waiting. Unimaginable amount of time to spend watching one thing now. Does anybody else get really mad at those videos on YouTube by like comedians where it's them doing like a character and it's it's just like a lot of

quick cuts of them saying oh yeah the character is like a girl who is rich. Yeah go a girl who is rich. like a lot of quick cuts of them saying, you know, Yeah, the character is like, yeah, a girl who is rich but doesn't realize how rich he sounds or whatever. So it's just like a bunch of unrelated sort of audio clips one after the quick succession. Oh yeah, yeah, not the, not the skip ones where the person's playing both characters, so I, but they're okay, they can be all right, but the one where it's just, yeah, one one one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, and, the, the, and, the, the, and, the, the, and, and, the, the, and, and, the, the, and, the, the, the, thethey're okay, they can be, they can be all right, but the one where it's just, yeah, one person sitting down there and rattling off like four minutes of this one like piece of character work. Yeah, and yeah, so they think, they think the line.

They're nightmarishly long. And they cut them all together and they are all at least two minutes long. And it doesn't matter if the the the the the those and I go ha those are some funny little jokes and then it just doesn't stop and I'm like I am going to fire bomb your house. Yeah you have to understand by this point my brain is just slurry shutting down. All the neurons ceasing to fire. All the neurons ceasing to fire. I'm not processing this one bit. Hmm. That's what you gotta do these days, folks.

You gotta switch that bad boy off. I've stopped using their brain. I've been, um, sorry. Finishing work and immediately passing out. No, no, no, no, close. I've been sick. I've been just just like watching action movies as I go to bed, just on my laptop. Oh, that's where it's at. Yeah, I cannot recommend it highly enough. Have you cued up Mark Wahlberg's shooter yet? You've got to see Mark Wahlberg's shooter. Oh, please do. First I'm hearing of it, but I did watch the rock, um, which is not a, okay. Look, I don't want to get, to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be to be to be to be to be just just just just just just to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the the the to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to, but I did watch the rock, which is Not a okay. Look, I don't want to get spent like minutes on this. I would just say that it's not a great action movie It's not cut well. It's ridiculous. The tone is perfect. But it's not a good movie. Then I watched

Die Hard One which honestly fantastic movie. It's a perfect movie. It's a perfect, it's a wonderful movie. I don't want to get all fucking Brooklyn 99 about it or whatever. It's just a really good movie. Die Hard 2, not so good. Let's see how Die Hard 3 goes. Oh, it's so great. I remember watching it in my grandma's house when I was like 12.

It was that and mortal combat and I'm like sorry about all the swearing grandma and she's like oh I mind I like this because they're they're actually real people versus mortal combat which was just an incomprehensible mess to what now to me a child it made totally hmm oh if you go back and watch the mortal combat movies I agree. Incomprehensible. They're just...

Oh, very, very bad. Absolutely. Like... Stuff just thrown at a wall, you know? And then they went, let's just stitch some of this together in post. But, um... I'm not going to revisit the Mortal Kombat movie, I think. Please don't, but absolutely do watch Die Hard 3. If you've got nothing to do, you can watch Die Hard 4 and then pretend that there's no more Die Hard movies. Cool.

You can probably do that with Die Hard 4 really. Yeah, I'm only going to three. Get to see Kevin Smith and some jorts you know? Hmm. Are you saying that as a like a positive selling point? I don't know. Okay. I don't know. Kevin Smith and Justin Long. And and Bruce Willis like just cresting that hill where he's starting to look extremely bored in every movie that is in. Die Hard 5 is one of those movies where I'm like, I know I've seen it, but I can't remember anything about that movie. Beyond that, Jai Courtney is in it as his adult son from like the first or second movie or whatever. And that's it.

They go to Russia. Don't remember anything about it. There's an aerial shot of Russia. That's what I remember about the movie. Sounds great. Very bad. It's very bad. Bruce Willis the whole time you can see that all he's thinking about is when he's going to knock off and go and count his money.

He's already got money. I don't I don't think Bruce Willis has ever counted all of his money from start to finish. So I don't I don't understand why like to me if you've got that task ahead of you, why would you add more money to the pile? Don't know what's in him for him anymore. Watch any interview with him from the last 15 years and he's just like, just leave me be. Leave me be. I cannot shake the interview that he did for red, the one with all the old people in it. Retired extremely dangerous. Is that what it stood for? Is that what it stood for? Is that what it stood for? Is that what it stood for? Fuck. Fuck.

I swear to God it was something like that. And that came out in 2017. And that was last year, retired extremely dangerous. There's three of them, baby. What? Unfortunately for everybody, the movie Red as of 2010. 2010. That was 23. If you listen to this episode and you're like 20 or 21, go fuck yourself. Yeah. Hmm. No, I feel like time will do that for them. That sure done it to me.

So anyway, we should probably talk about some of the stuff that we thought we might talk about on this episode. We had a really good segue going. We did the start, but then everybody was too committed to acting like we don't know about the pandemic. The what? The what? The what? Oh.

Oh, we, hey, hey, I got an idea. We could have a good who's on first bit to follow on from that. Oh, we love this. The World Health Organization has declared, who? Who? Okay. Who? And that's been, uh on first. That was another episode. Thanks. The World Health Organization is on first. Oh, it's a pandemic baby. We all got the bat fever or whatever.

Speaking of just briefly, sorry, we almost had a segment. We almost, we almost got into the content fever or whatever. Oh, speaking of, just briefly, sorry, I know, we almost had a segment. We almost got into the content. That's, yeah. Speaking of the World Health Organization. So the Panayuri, oh, fuck sorry. The Panayuri Greek festival, which is Brisbane's premier Greek culture and food festival held in West End every year. They just announced that they had to cancel for this year because of coronavirus. But they're like this is you know it's like a

you know regular ass food festival right it's it's nice but it's nothing crazy special. Their post about it was like after consultation with the World Health Organization. Just like ring in the hot light and like hello this is me from the Patery Greek Festival obviously you've heard of me before. We've been waiting for your call. Oh, we got the Patieurie and Greek Festival on the line. So this one straight to the top. Please, sir. Sir. Hanging up on President Trump to take the call.

We'll put you straight through to Kofi Annan. Oh, yeah, this shit's getting cancelled, left-run center. Italy has closed down becoming even lazier. Oh, shit, Kofi-Nin died. Wow. Oops. Wait, how long ago did you die? 2018. God, damn. Welcome to the, the past episode. Wait, how long ago did you die? 2018. Goddew!

Welcome to the past episode. Fucking hell. Oh, my brain is not good. No, you're having trouble. I'm in trouble. So what we were just talking about before the show started was me wondering. My friend has tickets to the football to an NRL game and was like, hey, let'sickets to the football, to an NRL game, and was like, hey, let's go to the football. She asked me like a week ago, you know. And now I'm like, should

I go to a big football game? Because like, we're kind of at the point now. We've just had our first confirmed coronavirus person in Cambrus, victim, first coronavirus victim, who has been assaulted by the coronavirus. And there's been like some other people who've kind of come through Cambron and then been confirmed with it somewhere else and obviously it's been popping off in all the other states. Camber, the ACT is the last state or territory in Australia and have a confirmed case but we got one now. And while I don't feel like, I mean I'm not, I'm not especially concerned about like getting it myself I guess even though myself and my wife and our kids are all like quite

asthmatic. So for a respiratory disease, not really into it. But I'm more thinking about it in the sense that one of the main things that all of these other governments around the world are starting to come in with really aggressively is all of the social distancing stuff, all of the, no you've got to shut down your Greek festivals and so on. And obviously you know you're supposed to try and be a bit responsible about your own behavior because even if you don't get something yourself there is a possibility that you could be a carrier for it for someone else. All that kind of thing. So yeah, like, it's an interesting time because

I feel very similarly about this to the way I felt about the bushfire stuff at the end of last year where it's like so omnipresent in the media. And everybody's talking about it and it's kind of been near places that I've been or kind of threatening places that I've been and all that sort of stuff. And you wind up in this weird kind of, you wind up in this weird kind of space where you're like, on one hand, I don't want to be catastrophizing things, I don't want to be like really overthinking this and giving myself anxiety and all that sort of shit when I don't want to be like blowing this out of proportion in relation to myself. But then there's also the party that's like you would also feel pretty dumb if you're one of those people who was like, hey, couldn't be me.

While a massive pandemic is breaking out all around you. So, I'll throw it to you, Ben, should I go to the footy game? Oh man, I'm the dumbest fucking person alive and the last person you should ask about anything. I... Yeah, I'm kind of surprised that there hasn't been talk of doing the empty stadium thing yet. Which to me is... They just completely suspended the NBA season in the States. Which is fucking crazy, right? Big time billion dollar industry, except that was also in light of one of the players testing positive. Yeah. It makes sense. I don't know.

This is just genuinely one of those things where You just you don't know how you're supposed to feel about anything right? Especially if you know You're a dip shit like me and you're getting most of your news off fucking social media and there are so many people who are doing either grifting by getting shares for telling everyone not to worry so much or there are people that are doing the opposite they're going fucking viral for the people they. they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they they they're they they're they thi they thi thi thi thi thi. thi. thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the the. the the the the the the thi thi th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the the the to to to to to theeeeeeeeeeei to thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo the the thelling everyone not to worry so much, or there are people that are doing the opposite that are going fucking viral for telling people they should be worrying more. So you end up with this real mixed signal or just being like, ah, either I shouldn't be going outside or I shouldn't be worrying at all. Like my whole fucking next two weeks is me going to a like events at one of Brisbane's beer festival where they were just like hundreds of people everywhere. My job other than this is putting on events where they're like I'm seeing shitloads of different people a bunch of different

days of the week and I have no idea whether at some point I meant to be like is this bad? Do I stop? I don't know. Should I say no thank you? Yeah, it's real, real fucking weird. I've got a show I'm going to next week. Deaftones are coming over from the States. I'm sitting here being like, now they're actually going to end up coming over, are they're going to cancel? The Pixies just canceled. Their tour over here.

That was going to kick off to-I. Well, well there's also like, I guess the other thing that's been pretty remarkable is how fast the news is changing with a lot of this stuff, like we've sort of gone from, hey, you know, there's pockets of this stuff in these places to, these places have exploded in confirmed cases and deaths and stuff, to, hey, now there's confirmed cases in hundreds of countries. To like, you know, they're sort of saying, hey, maybe be ready for the idea that if you can work from home, you should, that kind of stuff. To suddenly, like, hey, we're cancelling.

Like America's saying, we're cancelling, like America saying we're stopping anybody from Europe, coming in by plane. Australia is doing similar sorts of things in terms of like monitoring people in other airports who are boarding planes to go to Australia, looking at them for symptoms and stuff like that. There's a lot of obvious travel advisory stuff. And now we're getting to the points of things like the NBA saying, nope, we're suspending the season. We're just done because our whole sport relies on tens of thousands of people gathering in very close proximity

to each other. And for me, I've kind of been thinking, well, I'm pretty lucky because, you know, I already work from home when it suits me. And there's really nothing to stop me from working home full-time. Like that, it wouldn't bother anybody. It wouldn't be any particular impediment or inconvenience to me. I realize that it's a very privileged position. Really don't know what's going to happen to anybody who works in like a bar or a cafe

or retail or any of these things where surely at some point the companies that are running them are going to start saying like, like hey we need to massively scale back the staff that are in stores or close the stores altogether or. Yeah and I think that the one of the biggest themes that have kind of come out of the last couple of days as people you know would understandably or predictably kind of see, is that I think people are starting to understand just how precipitous life is for people on casual employment contracts, people who are unemployed, you know, the concept that you, that we even

had to ask to be like, hey, this is fucked up, but do I actually need to go to my center link appointments if I've, if I'm suspected of having coronavirus and then, you know, of course there's just radio silence or what have you until, you know, the government works out the most monstrous way to approach this so well don't worry though because according to according to industrial relations minister Christian Porter casual employees will already have a large amount of savings they get 20% more and that's, and also, you know,

they get the casual employee lifestyle, man, just like, you know, going with the flow. Just being flexible. Yeah, just be flexible. If you've got money to eat this week, eat and so on. So, well, it's very funny as well all of this coming off the back of Australia's now multi-year-long rolling wage theft scandal of like how many people in either either you know say if you work at 7-Eleven where technically the government would consider you a casual but also a bunch of those people have effectively been getting held in

indentured slavery for less than minimum wage by their fucking monstrous franchise owners all the way to you know people working in restaurants for that dip shit in Sydney where they were like actively logging how many unpaid hours people were working because they wanted to make sure that they were on the premises for as long as they demanded that they work there, but they also only paid anybody for 38 hours a week no matter how many hours they actually worked. And like all of those people were already having like money stolen from them. They were already making like less than the 20% loading they're supposed to be making on top, you know? Fucking ridiculous. But don't worry. Because in Australia, thir, thi, thi, they, thi, thi, thi, thi, they, thi, they, thi, thi, they, thi, thi, they, thi, they, they thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, they they thi, they thi, they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they thi, thi, thi thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty th, thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty th they're supposed to be making on top, you know. Fucking ridiculous, but don't worry, because in Australia we have a load of idiots

to tell you stupid shit about all kinds of things. And I'm not just talking about this podcast. Oh, hey, oh, there he is. Hey! Zip zap! Got him. I like the implication it's watching some Rodney Dangerfield today that was good stuff I don't know if that was implied I think that was pretty explicit

um so the Sydney Morning Herald posted what I think can only be described as a reckless and irresponsible article today or opinion piece anyway um article today or opinion piece anyway. Titled, I have coronavirus and I'll be fine. Please stop the hysteria by young white guy. Now there's a lot of problems with this. Let's just dip into it and we'll see how much we hate this guy before we even get to the meat of it. A brief trip to Hong Kong to visit a dear friend seemed like a good idea at the time. We all love taking a brief trip to Hong Kong. Just a so usual one.

My fucking brother has lived in Hong Kong for like two or three years now and I have never been there. I love just a weekend in Hong Kong. Oh just a little hop across the pond. We've got a little weekender, you know on the coast in Hong Kong. So um second sentence and I already want to push this guy down some stairs. Please, it's really been true. He had coronavirus. Two weeks later, when my head

began to throb, I thought I must be suffering from that common millennial affliction of caffeine withdrawal. Okay, so I'll go to theory that this column got green lit on the basis of that one sentence. They're like fucking millennials. It feels like the Dinymore and how of the age have like a quota of like just some dumb shit about millennials mentioned somewhere in the article. That's the only way they get traffic. Pretty much. Uh, millennials can't afford coronavirus tests because they spent all their money on avocado

toast, you know? You know? Gotta... They do be doing that though. But after three days of parasitimal and plenty of coffee, so it wasn't that, the pain ramped up to an unbearable level. I presented at St. Vincent's Hospital Emergency Department in Sydney at 8 a.m. Last Sunday convinced I had a brain tumor on the precipice of exploding. I underwent brain scans, blood testsestsestsests. Bloods nose swab. About 12 hours later, I was told by a friendly... Told by a friendly doctor, covered from head to toe in an armor of protective clothing that I had coronavirus.

Frankly, the diagnosis was a relief from the alternative. Fine, who cares? It was a relief from my unfounded belief that I had, like the scanner's brain-exploding disease. By this point, my symptoms had subsided. While I'm very aware COVID-19 can be lethal for the elderly and anyone with a compromised immune system or respiratory difficulties, the experience of a young, relatively fit patient seems out of proportion to the panic and fear I've encountered since my diagnosis.

So fuck those other people. Yeah, so whatever. It's almost like it's not actually about you, specifically. I also feel like it's extremely well understood at this point that it affects the elderly and the immunosuppressed. But no, that's not what this guy's worried about. The response from friends, colleagues and acquaintances was extreme. Entire businesses in Melbourne and Sydney were shut down immediately their staff sent home because they'd had contact with me. Friends of friends who'd seen me

before I even went to Hong Kong were isolating themselves and pulling their kids out of school. Acquaintances who I hadn't been in contact within weeks were on the phone. Before bothering with pleasantries they demanded to know what does this mean for my grandma she's 96? Boohoo my grandma might die. What a fucking prick! What if this was a diary of the guy that brought coronavirus to Australia? What if this cunt was patient zero?

Well, the thing is, he's talking about like all of these people being fucking hysterical panic merchants and everything. But if we reread this, businesses in Melbourne and Sydney were shut down, their staff sent home because they had had contact with me, a carrier of the coronavirus. A confirmed carrier. Friends of friends. I told people that I had coronavirus and they started getting real weird. Yeah, everyone whose mouth I'd spat directly in, suddenly was calling me, the the the the the the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to them that I had coronavirus and they started getting real weird. Everyone whose mouth I'd spat directly in suddenly was calling me wanting to know what this meant for all of their dying relatives. Friends of friends who had seen me were isolating themselves and pulling their kids

out of school. Acquaintances I hadn't been in contact within weeks or on the phone. So it's almost like all of these other people around you are doing what they're supposed to be doing. Which is saying I have had contact with a confirmed coronavirus carrier, I will now self-isolate myself and people that I have had contact with. Meanwhile this mothfuck is pulling up a chair in front of his typewriter, typing out out this entire screened and then getting a big envelope, stashing the paper into the envelope and then licking

the envelope from side to side, sealing it and then sending that like a bucket full of anthrax to the Sydney Morning Herald. I hope somebody at the City Morning Herald who ran this court coronavirus as a result. Satire, Satire. Jokes. Parody, parody. I don't really. Because they would probably give it to some 96-year-old grandma. Their concerns, of course, were a natural human reaction to risk.

Were they? Also, the medical advice that they're being given. They're literally... Literally the public health advice on slowing the spread, the explosive spread of a disease that is killing like, at this point about 4% of people who get it. 4% is like a pretty reasonable number. Yeah, and like, so the weird thing that I've heard a lot of people say is like, oh, but that doesn't mean you've got 4% and I mean, I've probably taken this stance initially

as well, right? That doesn't mean that you've got a 4% chance to die. What, I mean, that's true, but also the other side of that means that if you're the person that's susceptible to this, you've got a fucking way bigger chance than 4% of dying. Right? Like so if you, if like you know, I was just talking to my grandma and the first thing when I picked up the phone was like, oh, I hope she doesn't have coronavirus because she would almost certainly die. And I love my grandmother. Buddy. Because I don't love this guy.

You know? No, this guy sucks. He's not my grandmother. I'm surprised I know. Family members who have often wanted to strangle me over the years at least inquired after my health and welfare before suggesting this was somehow my fault that I should have been more careful. I agree with them there.

Those now quarantined 24-7 with toddlers were understandably grumpy and partial to the notion that I had thrown their lives into chaos through thoughtless misadventure. I explained that Hong Kong is not and never was on the recommended self-isolation list. Again though, is it about being like specifically being on the list or is it about being like, hey, there is a pandemic spreading around the world, I'd better go through some airports. The impression that I get from this guy, like so many of these other articles, is that nobody liked him before this. Ha ha ha ha! Hong Kong was never in the same category as mainland China, Italy and Iran.

In fact, my doctors advise me that given the timing of my symptoms, it was highly likely I picked up this virus locally. Now ripp pulling the needle off the record here to say, he says, my doctors advised, given the timing of my symptoms, it was highly likely I picked up this virus locally. So no one should yell at me about having gone to Hong Kong right so let's rewind it two paragraphs three paragraphs let's rewind it three paragraphs to friends of friends who had seen me before I even went to Hong Kong were isolating themselves so a few

paragraphs back he's mad at people who have had contact with him before he went to Hong Kong were isolating themselves. So a few paragraphs back, he's mad at people who have had contact with him before he went to Hong Kong because he's like, hey, I hadn't even gone to Hong Kong yet. And then a few paragraphs later, he's mad at people who think he got it from going to Hong Kong because he reckons he got it locally. Well I think what he's saying is that he got it after he went to Hong Kong. Maybe. So really they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're their. they're their. their. their. their. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. th. thi. thi. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to go. to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to thi. to to to thi. to to Kong. Maybe. So really they're the big dummies for taking precautions. Not him. He's a go-getter, a jet setter. He fucks. My first day is an official COVID-19 case was spent on the phone.

I called every individual I'd been in contact with since my date of contagion. Big inconvenience. Details of flight I had were provided to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the v the v the v the v the v the v the v the v the v the v the vicicicitorioliolierier the big the big the big the big the big the big the big the big the big the big the big the big the big the big the big the big the big the big the big the big the big the big big big the big big. I the big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big. I the big big big big. I the big big the big the big the big the big the big the big the bigience. Details of flight I had were provided to the Victorian New South Wales health departments. What a big fucking deal. What a hullabaloo they're making about this. The news spread through my social and corporate network like a parallel viral contamination. Wow it went viral you know? Like the Harlem Shake. viral contamination. Wow, it went viral, you know? Like the Harlem Shake. I went from patient to pariah.

Even those who had stocked up on toilet paper were besides themselves catastrophizing about the potential impact this could have on their lives. Gee, why would the people who, like, had fucking nervous breakdowns over toilet paper and were having fights with people in supermarkets? Why would they be the people catastrophizing about having been in contact with you? I think he's a little joke there is that they should be fine because they've done the thing in their mind that they needed to do, which is get shitloads of toilet paper. When actually it's just because he's a big fucking idiot.

Oh, by the way, just Google the words, if you haven't already, I have coronavirus and I'll be fine. Get the article up and just look at this guy's face the entire time while we're, while we're working through this. Unless you're driving the car. Please don't do that. Oh my God, I just read, sorry, I just read the last thing in this article. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Just sitting there for a while. Okay. All right.

Okay. Okay. The Melbourne doctor, who though he had followed prescribed procedures. That fucking dude had like flu symptoms while he was traveling back to Australia. Oh, I just thought I had the flu though. Not some other thing. It was just regular influenza I thought I had as I treated 71 patients over the course of a week before finally admitting something

might be wrong with me. That Melbourne doctor? Missy Higgins's dad. Papa Higgins. Hmm. The aftershock of being held accountable for spreading illness through the community has been worse than the virus I'm fortunate to be recovering from. Once again it's just about him. It's not about the countless fucking vulnerable people he might have spread this to.

I empathize with those millions of Australians who are suffering the economic cost and health concerns created by COVID-19. You wouldn't flip the order of those concerns. No, fuck me. But from this personal experience, the one where you didn't die, I guess, I feel it's time to calm down and as a nation show some resilience and common sense for which we are known. You know that common sense Australia is known for? Yep. Just had several weeks of seeing fucking women wrestle in supermarket aisles over toilet paper. All that common sense baby.

It's time to focus on the 3% of people infected who are at serious risk. We were trying to do that before you wrote the article. We should understand that 97% of people infected will have symptoms ranging from a bad cold to flu and will recover. My headache was unusual but beyond that the symptoms are a mild sore throat and lethgy. Yeah we know no one cares. No one gives us shit about everyone knows that it's not you know the virus that makes all your flesh fall off and die. It, we know. We know this already. Signs off here with Tom Hia...

I haven't talked to a single person who's afraid of getting coronavirus. Every single person I've talked to is afraid of giving it to their family or whatever, right? Like, no, fuck, ah, go on, finish it up. Signing off with Tom Highwood is a property technology entrepreneur. What the fuck does that mean? What the man? I think that means that he's done work for domain. Uh, which would make sense because, get this,

his dad is the, up until recently, well, no, I mean, it still is the former CEO of Fairfax, Greg Highwood. Oh my god. He stopped being the CEO when they merged with nine. Ben, come on. Yep. I wonder how he got this published. Come on. I wonder how. Come on. Mm-hmm. You want that? Does that also mean that he doesn't

entrepreneur technology if it's not property related? I assume that's it. Like his domain knowledge is so deep? Domain knowledge, yes. Oh, fuck. I can just imagine, I could just imagine Greg Highwood calling up, you want access to the coronavirus dip shit. You gotta go through me. I've got a scoop. I just lost a bit of soup there. Oh, God.

Get my fucking idiot son on the line for you. I mean, I know why I'd run this. I that that I'd that I'd that I'd that I'd that I'd that I'd that I'd that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd tho tho. I'd tho. I'd tho. I'd tho. I'd tho. I'd tho. I'd tho. I'd thoo. I'd tho. I'd tho. I'd that Oh, God. Why would you run this? Why would you run this? I mean, I know why I'd run this, because the only way the papers can get traffic on the shitty fucking websites is through the opinion section, because that's all the people read, and only if it is some sort of contrarian useless take that is annoying. Yep. So don't give take that is annoying. Yep. So don't give them the clicks because we've just read it out to you. Fuck this guy.

Engaging with it studiously. Mm-hmm. And at one stage, directly calling for people to visit the article. That's true. That's true. Oh, hey, look, I didn't do that's true. God, we're so stupid. Hey, look, I didn't do that. That's on you. Don't spread the blame around the three of us. It's true.

Oh, sorry, I just heard the sound of something falling over and Louis running. Hmm. What you doing, buddy? It's probably fine. Oh, please don't knock over my wine glass. Bad dog, dog kick him kick the dog. Oh, Louis. What are you doing? Sorry, hang on. He's just got to pause the size of a house Oh, that dog's gonna be so big. That dog's gonna be a fucking huge, that's gonna be a big dog. But don't worry he's incredibly wet. What have you been doing?

The mystery of dog. Yeah, don't worry Ben because the bigger dogs get the less wine glasses.. the wine. the wine. th g g glass. th g g g wine. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi's thoes thoes thoes thoes thoes they thi's tho- tho- tho- tho- tho- tho- thoos. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooes th don't worry Ben because the bigger dogs get traditionally the less wine glasses they knock over. Yeah, it's gonna be fine when he's twice this size. Yep. My personal mama juke. Now, speaking of... Toilet paper fever. Men with brains of dogs. Yep. Uh, We have returning one nation senator Malcolm Roberts the sun-bleached golem that we all hate to look at. You know how like the human body is like three quarters water? This dude is like one-eighth. Yeah just

just done. There is nothing in his body. Just a little, a little husk of a desiccated racist. I feel like if you held a light behind him, you'd like to see his bones in his nervous system. Ugh. Light, light coming out of his irises. You know that bit from Big Trouble of Little China where the low pan is like glowing from the inside. It look exactly like that. Haven't seen it.

What the fucking wrong with you? Come on man. It's the greatest movie of all time. God damn it's therella. All right. I'll go and download Chinatown. You can watch this one instead, which wasn't directed by a pedophile. That's right. If anything John Carpenter has been vindicated many times over in his career. As far as we know, if it turns out that John Carpenter is a pedo, don't come back to this and yelled us about it.

No, please. We will have silently scrubbed it before you have a chance to shame us over it. That's all I'm trying to say. So Malcolm Roberts, big-time dip shit from One Nation, has posted a photo, like the many photos that are going around. I posted one myself from my local supermarket of the completely empty toilet paper aisle. Which I believe that anybody with, you know, two-thirds water in their body has correctly diagnosed as people just panic buying stuff because they have seen other people panic buying stuff in the media, having a great snowball effect of people saying, well I'm not panic buying toilet paper, but I do need toilet paper. And if everybody's buying it all, there won't be any left for me, I'd better get

out there and get some toilet paper. So, Malcolm Roberts posted this with the caption, Australia gets a taste of socialism. So, you know, it's weird that this is such a specific genre of post that is still out there, right? Yeah, I believe the genre you're talking about is fundamental misunderstanding of everything. Yeah. No, no, but specifically, man stands in front of empty shelf in capitalist country and claims that this is what it's like under

socialists. A thing that happened under capitalism is a sign of what might happen under socialism. Yes. As far as I know, according to my own countries things that they tell me, this is what it's like. Yeah and of course it sort of doesn't help that like he's saying Theo he's displaying to you a thing that has currently happened in the capitalist country that he lives in there. And continues to happen. Yeah so rather than say if you were living in a socialist or communist country and they were trying to distribute things to people. Yes. Instead in this scenario were living in a socialist or communist country and they were trying to distribute things to people.

Yes. Instead, in this scenario, everybody has open access to things and whoever has the most money can go and buy the most of it they want. And people have all come along and cleared all of it out, not leaving any for any of the other people who just need a sensible amount of toilet paper. I wonder what a normal conclusion to come to after this would be. Some might think, hey, perhaps this is reflective of some sort of greed or selfishness or, you know, corporate media-induced panic. But no, instead, um, he's tried to clarify this with a reply.

And whenever Malcolm Roberts tried to clarify this with a reply, and whenever Malcolm Roberts tries to clarify something, I'm not sure that's really how it works out. Let's see if this clarifies things for us. Toilet paper shortage shows us what ALP's net zero CO2 by 2050 policy will look like. But rather than demand out stripping supply, ALP's policy will mean there will be no supply at all. Manufacturing is already decreasing under LNP's 26 to 28 percent renewable energy target, the ALP's policy is economic suicide. Hmm. And I suppose he's the the the the the the the the the the the CO2's CO2-2-2-2-2-2, the policy policy policy policy the policy the policy, the policy, the policy, the policy, the policy, the policy, the policy, the policy, the policy, the policy, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the policy's policy's policy's policy's policy's policy's policy's policy's policy's policy, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the energy target, the ALP's policy is economic suicide. Hmm.

And I suppose he's got some sort of data or figures or whatever to show how this had a direct impact on the supply of toilet paper specifically, because I mean this is the case that he's doing. I mean, different commodities have different sensitivities to manufacturing costs, the price of energy, carbon targets which we don't actually have at the moment, all those sorts of things. So I mean I'm sure that we would well understood that theilet paper supply is down? Well as as toilet paper manufacturers and everything keep pointing out

in this situation that there isn't a problem with the supply of toilet paper there is plenty of toilet paper there are big warehouses full of toilet paper no no no but that's not what Malcolm Roberts is saying though it's definitely not what he's saying soup eating mother fuck you have been eating the the too-fucker you have been eating That's not what Malcolm Roberts is saying though. I'm definitely not what he's saying. You're soup eating motherfucker. You have been eating soup for straight up an hour and you had been eating the soup a toub. Yes.

Are you getting to some kind of... Approximately an hour and 15 minutes? Are you getting to some sort of point, Ben? Are you arriving finally? I'll say this. You were not lying when you said I eat soup very slowly. No, I wasn't. And here I am. To me, you would lie about it. If you took half an hour to have a bowl of soup, I'd be like, oh, that's pretty slow. You were smashing that out of the park right now. How long does it take you to drink a glass of water, you reckon?

An extremely long time. I have a narrow esophagus, all right? I believe that, very much. It's the width of a straw. And I have to podcast at the same time. Oh, that's true. Now, I take issue with that. I will dispute the idea that someone has forced you to eat a bowl of soup very slowly and podcast at the same time. I've got a very busy schedule. Don't we all?

Don't we all? Yeah. Then? I do. It doesn't seem like it, but I do. But you're not at the stage where you have to eat soup while recording a podcast at the same time? No, I ain't had my soup with about 20 minutes to sa' to s slowly slowly slowly slowly to s slowly to s slowly to s to s to s to s to s to s to s to s to s slowly to s to s slowly to s to s slowly to s to s to s to s to s to to to to tho tho tho tho thoo thoo tho tho tho tho tho tho and tho and tho and tho and tho and tho and their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and to to to to to to to to to to to to to thi and tho to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to tho tho tho tho th stage where you have to eat soup while recording a podcast at the same time. No, I had my soup with about 20 minutes to spare before starting a podcast. What a dream. You're not really busy until you have to eat soup in the car. That's a bad time. No, that's true. Unless you've got a thermoom. You're going to sithapically that that that that that that th's th's th's th and th's th and th and th and th and th's the to to sip to thia to thoom's to thoom's thoom. thoom- thoom-a thoom-a' thoom-a to bea' thoom-a' too too too too too to bea' to bea' to bea' tooom. too-a' too-a' their their to bea' to bea to bea to be to be to be their to be their their their th. their th. th. th. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. thooooooooooooom. their thau. thau. thau. thau. thau. thau. too's still way too hot though. Oh, you're gonna comically spray it out all over your nice work pants.

Oh All over the windscreen from the inside you turn the wipers on and they do nothing Oh, soup problems, you know? Anyway, there is no toilet paper shortage at all. It's just consumers being panicked and going in and buying it faster than supermarkets can get it back on the shelf. And I will say I know that a lot of like international listeners, people on Twitter, people on social media, whatever, have kind of viewed this as an oddity. We are also doing the same thing simultaneously. I think I would say I've had this conversation with a bunch of people and I don't know anybody who has panic bought toilet paper and nobody that I've talked to knows anybody that has panic bought toilet paper. So it's like an extremely small section of society going out and doing this bizarre thing that none of us understand as well.

I thought like do you guys know anybody that has actually gone oh shit I've got to go on by six fucking you know pallets of toilet paper? No. Well in in the videos in the videos that we've, I assume by this point, all seen on social media of people actually fighting over toilet paper, in all of them, like, you know, you could reasonably say, any time, you know, let's adapt to the old, don't argue with a fool, because from a distance, people can't tell the difference, you know. Don't wrestle someone over toilet paper because you both look like you're, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the people, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thoom. Wea, tho, tho, tooileta, too, too, too, too, tooompera, tooompera, tooomperperperperperperperperperperperperperperperperperperperperperperperperperper people people, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, tha, tha, the, the, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thoooooooooooooooooooooooooo, tapa, tooooooooooooooooooo, toe, distance people can't tell the difference, you know. Don't wrestle someone over toilet paper because you both look like you're wrong, really. But in reality, in all of those situations, the thing, the situation that was clearly happening was one person or persons had a shopping trolley loaded with so many big multi-packs of toilet paper that they are piled well above the rim of the shopping trolley loaded with so many big multi-packs of toilet paper

that they are piled well above the rim of the shopping trolley, necessitating a second person to stand next to it and steady it. Way the fuck too much toilet paper. And I would probably imagine that whether or not somebody else in the supermarket is also panicking and just desperately trying to get some toilet paper. Or, maybe they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they are they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi they are thiole thiole thiole thi they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are thi thi thi thi thi thi th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi tooo-piole thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi also panicking and just desperately trying to get some toilet paper or maybe they're just someone trying to buy toilet paper like a normal person. Yeah yeah if you just go out and buy toilet paper now you look like an asshole. Well I mean I mean now all the supermarkets have come in with their one package per customer rules because people have gone nuts. But yeah like I I

have decided that I am on the side of the person who said you know what give me a fucking packet of toilet paper. I'm trying to do normal groceries you have 168 rolls of toilet paper. You can give me some toilet paper. And then it gets into a fight and the person who had the toilet paper ta-paiom in the trolley goes, oh! And they wail and they, I was being assaulted! My precious teepee! But you know what? Don't buy so much toll paper. Don't be a, Don't be a big fucking selfish dick. So really I'm not buying Malcolm Roberts's explanation here. He has tried to explain it a day later, which is always good. You know that the thing you posted went really well if you are coming back 24 hours later to say,

let me explain. That's always very good. So he quotes his own tweet with bare supermarket shelves in Australia are an anomaly. In a socialist country, bare shelves and queuing for basic goods are daily occurrences. Hmm. And he's just presented that kind of, ah, what did you call that prima facie? You might. I wouldn't. Oh, cla'e'n'e. Oh, clack! Oh, you can't argue with Got them. Ah, fuck.

Oh, you can't argue with that, Theo. I'm sorry. I know like a hundred words and that's not in the list. It's a dead language, Theo. Now, Andrew, it's come to that time in the show, as it often does. 52 minutes on the clock. And I have to beg. I have to put my little bit out to get the best story of the entire day on there.

You're holding out your little cup and you're begging. My little cup. Yep. Usually we ignore the best story until you come in and you intervene. Yes, that's right. You choose all the other ones. And I'm kind of like highlighting on the document with the kind of live cursor back and forth. Oh good, that's the one that I wanted to do as well. So I was going to ask you what's the best one, but I think we all know what that's one is. And it just came in like minutes to spare under the gun there. That's true, this is very much breaking news. And so with that we probably need to smash that stinger and say,

nude man watch! Nude Man Watch. Here's a little new story that came in today and we're gonna we're gonna engage in a little bit of what I like to call. Wild speculation during this story. Okay? Many grains of salt will be taken with a little of what I like to call illegal defamation little artistic license New South Wales, this is from the ABC, New South Wales Families Communities and Disabilities Service Minister Garth Ward had to be escorted home by police last night

after being found naked outside his Potts Point apartment in Sydney's inner east. Police said they were called to the unit around 1130 p.m. in response to a call that a naked man was trying to get into an apartment that wasn't his own. We've all been there, come on. When police arrived, Mr. Ward was standing in the doorway of another unit, which they determined was his residence and escorted him inside. Police said Mr. Ward, the member for Kiyama, quote, appeared to be disorientated and called paramedics, but he refused to be taken to hospital. The minister has issued a statement saying he was quote disorientated because earlier that day he had been under a general

anesthetic for a procedure in hospital. Huh. So far so good. Yep. So general anesthetic is when they put you out entirely, right? That's right. Okay and normally after that happens, yes. I I think what they do at the hospital is they like, they throw a glass of water over your face and they slap you around a little, they rouse you out of your drug stupor. And they just throw a glass of water over your face and they slap you around a little they rouse you out of your drug stupor and they just throw your pants at you the belt is still in like the belt loops your keys are in the pocket and everything and they go all right let's go let's free this bed up I think you've captured it in spirit if not necessarily in substance is that actually

what happens? Well, I mean, a person can come and pick you up even when you're like fucked out of shit after being under general. Whom amongst us has not had the inestable joy of picking up a partner from the hospital after they've undergone some form of medical surgery. No, Ben, this, so I, I, Caitlin, um, was under general anesthetic and I went and picked her up, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I up, and I up, and I up, and I up, and I up, and I, I, Caitlin, um, was under general anesthetic and I went and picked her up and I was expecting the same thing because I, I, after I woke up for my general for various things, including getting my wisdom teeth out, I was fucked. I was absolutely just totally demolished. And she, and so I pull up to the, the glass doors where, you know, they, the, the nurses, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, to the glass doors where, you know, the nurses roll them out, and you know, people have woken up from surgery, just got the drill coming out of the side of their mouth and whatever.

The door's open and she's just got a fucking spring in her step. She's basically bouncing to the car. She's upset. I'm like, She's basically bouncing to the car. She's upset I'm like, she's so disappointed. I'm missing out on an essential experience of being married here. She is an extraordinarily sensible woman, your wife. Oh yeah, yeah. I'm not even vaguely surprised. To waste time with that kind of. Yeah, she doesn't have time for that nonsense. What I picked up, George,

after her eye surgery, she was an absolute fruitcake. It was delightful. But, but here's my question, did you then just kind of take her home and then leave? No, I love and cherish my partner, so I took her home and put her to bed and kept an eye on it. So I'm kind of curious about like what the chain of events must have been here. Like did somebody bring this guy home in this type of state and then say, ah, it'll be all right? Well, so what's interesting right is this ABC article doesn't make any mention of this, but the Daily Telegraph reports and it describes what happened to him as sleepwalking. Huh. But they mentioned that he was under general and that they'd given him a lot of morphine,

but also said that it was a sleepwalking incident. It doesn't sound like a sleep walking incident. Especially because police had to return again an hour later after reports of the 38-year-old was walking around a common area in his underpants. Now that's progress. They again escorted him home. They again escorted him home and he again refused medical treatment. You want to go to hospital?

No. I just... I just... I don't know how many hours later and how still extremely slapped on drugs you have to be. Well this is his account of it right so this is him speaking to the Daily Telegraph. Mr. Ward told the Daily Telegraph he didn't remember the events. This was to explain why he initially told some people he was clothed when he was sleep walking, but police stated he was naked. I don't remember anything, Mr. Ward said.

This is a purely medical matter. I had a general anesthetic. I was fine after the operation, but when you go to sleep, these things hit. Asked directly if he had taken tha tha tha tha tha tha the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the, the, the, the.. theateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateate, the, the, the. said only morphine. Only a little morphine? Only a little golden brown. Just a dash. Neighbor upon a stone was alarmed to hear loud banging at her apartment door above Mr. Ward's in three-story apartment block. They shared around 11 p.m. last night. I was really scared. There was this naked man banging at our door. My husband went to see what was happening and I could see through the people a swaying naked man

shouting, it's me let me in let me in she told the telegraph. My husband was like this man is butt naked. He wouldn't go away so we have to call the police. I'm glad I didn't see him fully naked. We were worried because he was yelling loudly we have yorked weaked he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was yelling he was yelling he was yelling he was he was th he was he was th thus he was yelling he was yelling tho- he was tho- he was thus. He was yelling he was yelling he was yelling he was yelling he was yelling he was yelling he was yelling he was yelling he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was yelling he was he was yelling he was yelling he was yelling he was yelling he was yelling he was yelling he was yelling loudly he was yelling loudly he was yelling loudly he was yelling he was yelling loudly he was yelling he was yelling he was a th th th th-he was yelling he was yelling he was yelling he was a th th th th th th th th thi he was yelling he was yelling loudly, we have a young child, and we were anxious. But I mean, that makes the sense. Now, as your note... This mothucker buttnake? I know we said we were going to participate in wild speculation. I kind of, I do want to throw my two cents here. Yeah, yeah, let's hear it. And I think, you know, joint with this, but what I see here is a clear,

just I think it's as clear cut as it's ever been situation of a Mr. Bean eats too many off oysters and accidentally locks himself buck naked out of his room in fever delirium. I think that it's so, that the police should have identified such a clear case of Mr Bean eating too many off oysters and locking himself outside of his house, buck naked, to prevent the second one. But like World War II, we were unable to identify the root causes of the first, and we were doomed to repeat it. Now, that might make some people mad, but it's just my belief.

Yeah, we don't want to be armchair doctors or armchair psychologist, but to me, no. It's certainly, this is Mr. Bean syndrome. Have you seen a clearer case? No. Not in my 20 years of identifying this. Classic Mr Bean syndrome. He's got to hate to see it. Look, I think we've probably got time to display a short clip. Oh, let me cue this up. Just a little positivity to end the show. I don't know if this needs introduction or not.

I don't think he says who he is in the course of the clip. So it might be worthwhile mentioning that this is from something that we only just really introduced into the Buonto Vista universe in this week's free episode. A man called chet hanks what's up everyone uh... yeah it's true my parents got coronavirus crazy they're both down in australia right now because my dad was shooting a movie

down there uh... but i just got off the phone with them uh... they both are fine they're not even that sick they're not worried about it they're not tripping but they're going through the necessary health precautions, obviously. But I don't think it's anything to be too worried about. I appreciate everyone's concern and the well wishes, but I think it's all going to be all right. But I appreciate it and just everybody stay safe out there. Much love. Much love to you. Chetaks. Thank you so much. so much. th. And to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. And to th. And th. And to th. that to that to that that that to to that to that that that that that that that that that to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be that that that that that that that that that that that th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the they. they. they. they. the the the the the the the the the to be the to be they. they. to you, Chet Hanks. Thank you so much. And I was very pleased to see that he did not put a shirt on to record that video. Hey, he looks

good. Why would you? You get to see those many many cryptic tattoos. It's wonderful stuff. And so you know I guess all we can say to Chet is we'll take good care of them. We'll take good good care of... You are the fans of Queensland's Best. Oh no. Oh no. Oh, so yeah, I guess with that from us here at Buntavist, we too will say much love. Don't be tripping out there.

Do not. Don't be trippin' on coronavirus. Also, yeah, don't, don't be trippin' on coronavirus. But also don't get it. Don't get it. Don't give it to anybody else. And if you do get it and give it to a bunch of people, don't write an article for a major newspaper talking about why nobody should yell at you for giving it to people. You certainly don't write a second article about people being mean about the first article. I know that this is hypocritical to say when we have a podcast that we do two hours of where we just say our own thoughts and feelings every single week. You don't have to write an article about everything that happens to you. Yeah, that's true.

Yeah, I mean we are, we're cursed to do this. Someone is blackmailing us. The stuff they have on Theo, I can tell you, I won't tell you what it is, but I will tell you, but I will tell you, fucking tell you, f f f f dis fucking tel you, fucking tell you, fucking tell you, fucking tell you, fucking to to tell you, fucking to to to to to to to to tell you, fucking to to to to to to to to to to to told told to to to told you, told told to to to to to told told told told told told told told you, fucking told you, fucking told you, fucking told you, fucking to to to to to to to to to told you, fucking to to told you, fucking told you, fucking told you, fucking told you, fucking the fucking you, fucking you, fucking the fucking their you, fucking their you, fucking their you, fucking ing ourselves on it week by week for the foreseeable future. I think that's a tale of Sisyphus. Yep, every day we fall down. Curse to hoist ourselves by the patard and let ourselves down in the evening.

Well, thanks to join us everybody everybody, and we will see you next week. Bye-bye. Nice. Crazy.