Boonta Vista - UNLOCKED BONUS EPISODE: Rage Virus Outbreak At Dollar Dog Night

Episode Date: April 15, 2023

As a little thank you for your hard work during the crucial month of Plapril, we thought we'd chuck you a little freebie. Enjoy your taste of what life is like behind the paywall. *** Lucy, Andrew, and Ben bring you: A mysterious sea beast in a New Orleans park, hot dog chaos in Philadelphia, an ice disk of hitherto unseen proportion, and the monarch of a short-haul flight. *** Get the rest of our bonus episodes by signing up at patreon.com/BoontaVista

Hello, it's me, Ben from the podcast Buntavista. It's just a note to say that we've, we unlocked this episode, the bonus episode from this week. Thank you to everyone that's been doing playperal. There have been some great playperal plugs going on and we really appreciate it. So here's a little freebie on us. If you've not plugged the podcast, Buntavista to anyone yet. This playprol, please pick one person in your life you think is the most susceptible to a podcast recommendation. Perhaps so you know a long-haul trucker or similar who might who has a lot of time

which they could listen to a podcast. Consider giving that a bash. If you're listening to could listen to a podcast. Consider giving that a bash. If you're listening to this Paul, very sorry. Kind of. All right, this is a bonus episode. My name is Andrew and I'm going to be your tour guide here today at the Tird Factory. Here's your mask, don't forget this is a bonus episode. My name is Andrew, and I'm gonna be your tour guide here today at the Turd Factory. Here's your mask, don't forget to put that on.

As we open the doors, you'll see our impossibly high ceilings and large spiral water slides sending a never-ending cascade of liquid shit down into the lake below us. This foamy brown mass is the base for all of the turds that we make here. Now, here at our first workstation is one of our finest turd scientists. She's adding the perfect mix of granulated peanuts and single kernels of sweet corn, and she's making sure to get the ballast just right. It's Lucy. Hi. How long did you have to go to university to get this important role,

I didn't because I had the life experience of myself being a turd factory. And when you've really lived it, you know, it makes it, makes it easier to really get into the job, you know. You got to respect lived experience. You do. That's so true. That's the same. We have a lot of qualified people here at the turd factory. Yeah. Qualifications are important to us and also sustainability is very important to us here at the the the the the the the the the the the turt turt turt turt turt turt turt turt tu tu tu tu tu tu tu tu tu tu tu tu tu tu tu tu tu tu tu tu tu tu tu tu tu tu tu tu tu tu tu tu tu tu tu ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta tip tip tip tip tip tip. tip. tip tip tip ta. tu. tu. tu. tu. tu. tu. tu. tu. tua. tua. tua. tua. tua. tua. tua. tu. tu. tu. tu. t is very important to us here at the turd factory. So the next workstation we have is where we process our reclaimed turds. As you can see there's an open vat with a man standing inside stomping on all the secondhand turds to push them into a fine paste. Oh my god. The paste is then strained and drained and sent down the big slide into our main turd lake.

Now we've told this man here a bunch of times that we allow and possibly even prefer for him to wear boots or waiters, but as a purist he insists on doing the job barefoot in very small shorts. It's Ben, no hairnet today Ben. You don't want to get hairs in there. This is the fucking worst. What is wrong with you people? Truly awful. These are the episodes people pay for. Welcome to the factory where we make turds from us. And recycle them? This is how I explain my kids where turns come from.

The turd factory. I'm the Willy Wonka type figure. The spirit of playpural. The Turd Factory. I'm the Willy Wonka type figure at the... The spirit of Playprol, the people are being like, you know what, I'm playing this podcast for my friends. Listen to this. Two minutes, 20 seconds of Turd Factory. Yep. It's funny. Look, it's really funny. You just gotta push through the turds. Push through the first three seasons and it's literally so funny. Yeah, it becomes the greatest podcast full time after the first 280 episodes.

You just really, but it won't make sense if you don't listen to the turds. Hey, I'm the guy that squishes all the tuers with my feet. My nasty hair has all been dipped in the turds because I'm standing in the turds Between all his toes it's under his toenails and then we use my hands to gently shape them into turd shapes Instead of homogenous turd mass you're happy? Oh, I'm a wallowing in the buck with you too? A couple of real filth lords. No look and you've touched on something really important, which is that we we really Prioritize like a handcrafted quality here. We don't want to be artisan. Yeah, we don't want to just be be extruding them like a cheap Woolworth sausage. No, no pink slime here. No, it's brown. Yeah, it shouldn't it shouldn't be pink pink. I don't think that one's on the chart at all. Yeah, no, that. that. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their. their. their their their their their their thea. thea. they. the the they. the the the they. the the the the they. the the their the the the that one's on the chart at all. Yeah, no. But each one, each one, like Benson, lovingly hand-formed, you know, like we're doing loving pottery. Yeah.

Is there like a pottery wheel situation? Is that what you're picturing? Shaping it into beautiful sausage shapes. I am of course now picturing, listening to unchained melody as a ghost, guides my hands and we erotically make a big turd together. Yeah, you woke up this morning and it is the morning and you thought, that's an idea. That's an idea. I've got a kernel of an idea here, that's what you thought.

Hey, oh! She's right here withthought. That's what you thought. Hey, oh, she's right here with it, folks. Is she the Buntavista comedian of the week? Too early to say, too early is he just kicking it off. I'm doing the chemist's warehouse thinking, oh, can I tell you guys something very exciting? This just happened out my front window. Before we started recording, a couple of minutes before we started recording, two people from an apartment upstairs brought down a dog shit ugly coffee table and put it on the curb, even though it's not curbside collection, with the hopes that perhaps someone would take it

before it rains next and then it explodes. And then, just then, a guy walked up to it. He picked it up, he examined the underside, and then he nodded, and then he's just taken it away. That coffee table has found a home. That's the circle of life. That's a great ecosystem that we sometimes just do that. You're like, why don't you just leave it outside? Some might just take it.

Yeah. We did, we did hard rubbish here rubbish, thubish, thubish, thubish here, thubish here, thubish here, th rubbish, th hard rubbish here in Canber recently. Because like it's, hard rubbish is much more of an institution in like Melbourne and, I guess, Brisbane as well? Oh yeah, we love curbside here. Although we didn't have it for a couple years because of, um, because of COVID. They stopped curb site collection. Yeah, oh, yeah. That's what they covered from Solid. It's real fucking weird. They, They instead switch to a system where you get issued a certain

number of vouchers for free trips to the tip every every year except you know that doesn't really work if you don't have a car or whatever. But curbsides back baby and it's better than ever. Well it's been so long since I've seen it in an action that we put some out knowing that it was going to be very soon and when I came out and it was all gone th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. It was all th. It was all th. It was all th. It was all th. It was all th. It was all th. It was all th. It was all th. It was all thi. It's thi. It's th. It's th. It's the th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. And th. And th. And th. And the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. th to thi. to thi. the thi. the the. thi. th th th thi. th put some out, knowing that it was gonna be very soon, and when I came out and it was all gone, it was like magic, it was like reverse Santa. It was wonderful. Reverse Santa, there's a mysterious kind of, there's a mysterious entity for you to think about.

And we have many other kinds of mysterious entities for you, here on Crypted Watch. Is that to check that we don't have a Crypted Watch theme? We don't, but we probably should. It feels like we should. Yeah, add that to the list. Add that to your Trello. Put it into the themees lane. That's right. This comes to some WGNO, the Wugno in New Orleans. What is the mysterious creature swimming in lagoons at New Orleans City Park? Oh, what is it? Tell us.

I think it's, I think it's author Brandy Jensen. She live in New Orleans? Yeah, she moved there. Ah, that's very cool. Maybe she's having a dip. She's been on this very podcast. Check out the episode with Brandy Jensen. Yeah. There's something strange lurking in the lagoons of New Orleans City Park, and it is

baffling visitors as to what sort of fish or creature. It is a creature. That's a really good taxonomic distinction. Fish or creature. Is that a creature? There's two genders. No, I think it's a fish. Hey, I think I just saw a dog or animal.

You know, idiot? What a stupid thing to write. Yeah, W. G.O. You are on blast. Quote, we looked into the water and saw a mysterious, serpent-like creature. It is nothing I have seen before, land or sea. Amazing. Said Kim Fruchanti, who captured the video of the creature. The great people of the internet, hmm, seemed to think it is a genetically modified carpfish created in a lab and released in City Park. It's the most obvious.

Occam's razor. Yeah. Okhms carp. Two people turn to each other. You thinking what I'm thinking? Yes. Genetically modified carp fish created in a lab. Frischiani and her family spotted the strange creature a few days ago while walking through the sculpture garden. Quote, my children were a combination of terrified and excited as many children would be seeing a beast in city park, she said.

Really given a little artistic license here. It's not intimidating. Really beautiful way with words though, the way she said all of this. Serpent-like creature? Nothing I've seen before, land or sea. Wonderful. Really picturing a kind of, what's the name of the captain from Jaws? Captain Jaws? Is he Brody? Brody? Jaws. His name is Brody? Yeah. Mr. Jaws? Oh, call me Brody? Captain Jaws. Yeah. That's ironic. That's ironic though, that's... She went on to say, it's got like a corncob pipe. It's looking wistfully out off the coast. It was quite long. I have a four-year-old slightly smaller than it.

And it was weaving on the surface. A lot of scales. The tail was red and it was swishing around around around around around around around around around around around around around around around around around around that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the the the the the the the the thiii' the thi' their thi' thi' thi' that's that's that's that's ironic that's ironic that's that's that's weaving on the surface. A lot of scales, the tail was red and it was swishing around aimlessly, hanging out on the surface much longer than a normal fish. Oh that is good. That is pretty good. That's real like I like the way that she is peppering this with like a lot of suggestion as opposed to concrete claims that she has a deep well of fish-related knowledge that she's tapping into, she's getting nothing about this fish. Yeah, she knows exactly how long a fish is.

And she knows this is no normal fish. Yeah, a little bigger than my four-year-old, lying down. That's too big for a regular fish. And my four-year-old is normal-sized. She should say that in there to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-fish-fish-fish-fish-fish-fish-fish-fish-fi-fi-fi-fi-fi-fish, to-fish, to-fish, to-fish, th-fish, to-fish, th-fish, th-fish, th-fish, th-fish, th-fish, th-fish, th-fish, th-fish th-fish th-fish th-fish th-fish th-fish th-fish th-fish th-fish th-fish th-fish th-fish th-fi-fi-fi-fi-ffi-fffffffffffffffffffi-a-a-s th-s thi-s thi-s thi-s thi-eee-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-ease-ease-sease-s fish thtie-s fish And my four-year-old is normal-sized. She should say that in there to be clear for scale. I don't know if you've got a freakish four-year-old. Yeah, what if you have like a barren trump situation if four-year-old is seven feet tall? Frisciani is the founder of the preschool, early partners where they are doing a deep dive investigation. We Throwing Toddler's. Throwing your four-year-old into measure her against the fish. Throwing Toddler was that live album, am I right? Yeah. Hey, if you're under 30... Check out live. Check out the band Live. Really hard to Google. But you should listen to throwing

cover. Poor SEO. Yeah. Ed Kowaltchick or whatever his fucking name is. Didn't think about that at all. If you're a... You can't think about SEO. Yeah, for some reason. This band that got formed in 1984 wasn't thinking about SEO. All right, Mr. Live expert. I'm looking at Google, come on, calm down. If you're in the age of 30, watch the film clip for the song I Alone by the band Live and watch Ed's little, little ponytail on the back of his head jiggle around in slow motion while he's dancing. What's the one where it's him like singing dramatically in the rain and the storm? Is that? Dolphins cry? th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. thi, thi, thi, thi, like singing dramatically in the rain and the storm? Is that eye alone or is that dolphins?

Dolphins cry? Doo do. Doo doo. Do you try to explain live to Azuma? They'd look at you like you were crazy. So when you look at the tel jam was worse and sounded like Christian rock? But it's not Christian rock. When you look dead on it the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy th. It looks th. It looks. It looks. It's th. It's thoom. It's thoomom is thoom. It's. thoomfins. tholfins. tholfins. tholfus. tholfus. thoomfus. Dolfus. Dolfus. Dolfus. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's tool. It's tooled. It's tolfing. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. tolfors. It's like. tolfea. It's tolf rock. It's not redeeming for Christian people, yeah. When you look dead on at the guy, it looks like he's got a shaved head, but when he turns around, surprise. Oh, and you wouldn't believe this, but he has a prominent role in the movie Fight Club.

He plays a, like, a waiter or a matrador, or a matri-dee towards the end, or he's going from town to town and everyone recognizes him. Oh wow. Yeah. Beautiful. Would you call that a prominent role? It's prominent in that every time I've elbowed the person next to me. It's like that's Ed Kowalchik from life. Let's say who? Yeah.

Quote. In our sea creature studies, and we haven't seen anything like this in our books, I'm pretty well convinced it's the Loch Ness monster of New Orleans, she said. I love that she's saying this like they have a deep paranormal research library, but she's talking about what they have at the preschool. Like she's opening up the tome, like the ancient tome of fishes. That's right. Yep. Instead it's like, there's like there's like, there's like, there's like, there's like, there's like, there's like, there's like, there's like, there's like, there's nothing about this in Curious George. WGNO reached out to New Orleans City Park.

They asked for the location of the creature and to see the video. Show me this creature. No word yet on if they can identify what the creature is. But they believe it could be a carp. Can you just fish it out and take a look? Why don't you just dive in and grab it? It might be an eel. Yeah, let's grab it.

Or, it's the weapon X of carp. They've taken out its bones, they've replaced it with titanium. It's sort of like the wol Wolverine of carp from Marvel comics. Are you saying titanium because like Adamantium isn't a real element we could use in this world? No, good point sir. I got confused. You're right it is Adamantium, not Titanium. Is Adamantium real? No. That's why I thought you had opted for Titanium because Adamantium's not a real thing. Are you just googling Adamantium real?

I am. Probably not. Yeah, that's true. It appears to be entirely fictional. Well, you learn something every day. Oh God. I am 32 years old. If you are listening to this podcast and you also just learned that Adamantium is a fictional metal alloy,

congrats. Are you rather than a 32 year old? Well at least we know vibranium is real. That's right. New Orleans City Park said that they would be working with their aquatic partners to gather more information. Abraham Sapien. That's right. We're getting Prince Namor, we're getting all of them. What about underwater guys we got? Jason Mamoa. Yeah, God. So you got Jason Mamoa. Oh, how about um, who's the guy with the big Trident? The god of? Is it Neptune? Maybe? Poseidon. Poseidon! And then I believe... She got one of the other superheroes, Poseidon! Yeah, isn't Neptune the, the Roman god of the sea, or is that Jupiter? I could have used you when I was doing that crossword last week. Uh, well. Yep. I think Neptune would have fit.

Uh, writing the wrong thing in for a crossword clue and using pen. It's the one thing I didn't want to happen. It's time for the one thing we didn't want to happen. This is the one thing we didn't want to happen. Yeah, I was doing the really easy crossword out of the weekend paper and Elna had just kind of very half-heartedly started it. And she was like, ooh, I always do it in pencil. In case I get it wrong and I have to rub it out and I was like, you're fucking coward.

That's crazy. You're fucking coward. Be sure before you're writing. Poseid and then ran out of letters. Yeah, got your Greek and Roman mixed up. Did a few and I was like, idiot. Oh fuck, oh fuck. Immediately tearing the paper up in a little bit, flushing it down the toilet. You okay in there?

Fine. I'm just jack it off. Don't worry. Nothing weird. You flushed 35 times. It's fine. This comes to us from WPVI, the whoopovie, in Philadelphia. Philly's Dollar Dog Knight turns into food fight. Some fans ejected. Yeah, that sounds like... I love Philadelphia. Yeah, beautiful place.

Here's a sentence where I think you could pretty much swap in the subject with anything. Literally, yes. And the sentence will still work, right? If you didn't know about the Philadelphia Phillies Dollar Dog Night at Citizen Bank Park, chances are you do now. Yeah, you're writing about it in the article. Yep. If you didn't know about the Loch Ness Monster of New Orleans that's swimming in this little pond, you do now.

We should say that after every story where we introduced potentially new information to a listener. If you didn't know Adamantium wasn't real, you do now. And you're welcome. Ah, the fan favorite game day took a viral turn Tuesday night in section 112. I assume they mean like social media. You know? Yeah. Not everybody contracted some sort of rage virus. They got the rage virus. Yeah. Quote it started in our section with them having a hot dog eating contest, said Robert Christovich. Impromptu ad hoc hot dog eating contest organized by the people themselves.

That's the dream of organizing, of community. That's incredible. Spontaneous organization. Yeah. How many, how many hot dogs you think you could eat in the sitting guys? I get a real hungry maximum maybe four. And we're to, like, I'm going to say we're talking like, like a supermarket hot dog bun, standard length hot dog and like just some ketchup and mustard, right? There's nothing extra on that. I think the average is about 5.7 inches. Depends on the bun. I don't know that. That's that. That's that. That's that. That's that. that that th. th. th. How th. How th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. How th. How tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho th. How th. How th. How th. How th. How th. How th. How th. How th. How th. How th. How th. How th. How th. How th. How th. How th. How th. How th. How th. How th. How th. How th. How th. How th. How the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo tho There's nothing extra on that. I think the average is about 5.7 inches.

Depends on the bun. I don't know, that sounds really small to me. Whether it's cold. I reckon I can eat six. Yeah, I'm saying I think if they're like really cheap airy buns. Yeah. You know, the little buns. You not getting a pretzel bun or like a, you know, anything of any substance. You want the kind of bun that if you gave it to a raccoon and the raccoon tried to wash

it in a little pond it would just disintegrate. You know? Yeah, that's the main way I judge, the substance of something. What happens when a raccoon try and theyreau. Yeah, just wondering about these, these buds you, thiiii, the buds, th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, throwns, throwns, thrown, throwns, the, the, the, the, thr- throwns throwns, thr- thr- thr- thr- thr- thr- thr- th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thr-a, thr-a, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, then try to wash its hands when it disappear entirely? Yeah, what do you think? Do you think there'd be some wisps of bread left in the water or... Hold on sir, I'll be done in a second. Big line behind you. I'm asking like a beleaguered 14 year old at Baker's delight. I didn't and people were trying to get him. People were like, eat another one, eat another one. So they started throwing hot dogs to him. The guard came over and started yelling and then it just went nuts. This is Philly coach. This kid, a child?

Like a child had and everyone's like, eat another fucking hot dog! Eat a fucking hot dog! Throwing them at him. Being pelted with hot dogs. Christovich captured video of the hot dogs flying across the ballpark. That's beautiful. Like this is a Pruder film, you know?

Slow motion. Frame by frame. Yep. You see this one hits th hit hit hit hit hit hit hit hit hit hit hit hit hit hit hit hit th hit th hit th hit th hit th hit th hit th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the f the fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking, the fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking, th, the fucking fucking, the fucking, you know? Man. Slow motion. Frame by frame. Yep. You see this one hits him in the back left side of the head. A different angle shows the hot dogs being thrown close enough that they almost get onto the field. Imagine. He says at some point during the game, the quote, flying franks turned into a big food fight with the meal being tossed across rows from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from the the the the their their their the quote flying francs turned into a big food fight with the meal being tossed across rows from one section to the next. You guys got too much food. Don't do dollar dogs that makes them

low value. Yeah, people don't treasure their hot dog if they only got it for a dollar. That's right, go to the MCG in Melbourne and your hot dog. And roughly nine to thirteen dollars and then you're valuing that dog. And when I wash it down with a $22 beer. Mid-strength, yeah. And it's warm. It's in a plastic cup. It sucks ass.

I think what we need to do is we need to do that thing where like they turned lobster from a trash food into a rich people food? You think we we, what we we we we th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thin thin thin thin that that to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to tho tho tho to thooooooooooooooooooooooo to to too too too too to to to to to to to to to to they turned lobster from a trash food into a rich people food? You think we should do that with hot dogs? Yeah just to stop this kind of thing from happening. You want to game keep hot dogs? Yeah if a hot dog cost you $14 you wouldn't be throwing it at a 13-year-old at a baseball game. Yeah. Maybe you would just a show off just a really stun them. Yeah this means nothing to me. I could could th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi thi thi thi the the the we th. I th. I th. I th. We th. We th. We the we should the we should th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. the the the thin the theateat theat thin theateeat theat theeat theat thi theat thi thee that the the a really stun on it. This means nothing to me. I could buy five more of these. I have a hundred hot dogs in my house. Right now? That guy's got a whole tray of hot dogs.

Videos of Dan Bilzarian, a whole bunch of hot dogs in a bed. You know there's like weird, like viral videos where it's like this is the most expensive joint ever made and it's like wrapped in gold. Yeah, but it's the most expensive hot dog ever made. I know I'm not like I used to I used to really smoke a punishing amount of weed back in the day and even even at my height of like smoking blunts all the time and engineering big ridiculous shit, I still think I would have looked at those ones where they're like, what are you doing after smoking this? And they make a big joint and they put like, their big joint and they put like, all the purple

weed in it and all the green weed in it and it. Which has got to make it burn like shit, right? They dust it with a whole bunch of like fine powder, they're putting like pure thc crystals on it and they're dipping it and fucking... I've never seen anything like this. That's a corner of the internet I've not ventured into. It's literally one video. It's Andrews describing the one video that is the same one video that I have seen. Okay, where, but. But, but it, but it's, but it's, but it's, but it's, but it's, but it's, but it's, but it's, the the the the they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they, it's, they, they, they, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, they, they. they. they. they. they. they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the, the, the, the, the, the, th. that is the same one video that I have seen. Okay. Where, but it's always it would just like every two weeks someone would be like, W Y D after smoking this. And my answer is always lying down. I'm lying the hell down. I keep thinking about cataloging like, um, the specific posts that people that somebody, somebody just posts every like two to three months to get a bunch of engagement.

Like say the video of David Bowie. Oh, the internet. It's a really groovy but dangerous tool. It's like a David Bowie. Thank you. Oh, boy. All the boy. Let's see it. All the time they're just like wow this is shockingly pressian. I don't know he just said that the internet will be kind of crazy.

Yeah I guess so. Plus they end sex with that 16 year old. Anyway, yeah, there's just things like that that I think you just see over and over and over and you'll over. And you'll never stop seeing them. I think like posts get a certain amount of traction every time and I think they just go into this bank of like easy engagement things that people can wheel out over and over and over. Name a film opinion that would make people react like this. And it's, I think it's from the road to El Dorot. Or is it got all the swords? The swords on the go?

Yeah, I think you're right. I think I often mentally confuse it with, oh unless it is from tangled. It's either the... No, because the road to Eldorado's 2D. It's cell-sharing. Oh, you're right. I'm a fucking idiot. No, you are instead thinking of the scene in the movie Tangled, the Disney Rapunzel movie with Mandy Moore. Don't think of Scene Tangled. Singing all the songs, oh look. I don't get why you farm engagement on Twitter because you get nothing from it. You can't translate it into anything.

It's not translated into any kind of money. It's useless to you. Now that they shut down that website, clout, clout, clout, clout, clout, clout, clout, clout, clout, clout, clout, clout, clout, clout, clout, clout, clout, clout, clout, clout, clout, clout, clout, clout, clout, clout, clout, clout, clout, clout, the they. their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their, th. tho, tho, that, that, tho, thooo, than, than, thoan, than, than, than, than Oh, damn. Now that's cool. Let's bring that back. Yeah, that was weird. Yeah, whatever happened to that sustainable business model, where that go? What was that? I still don't really understand what that website was for because it's not like you had to post and say I got this from clout or like, how was clout making money on that? I didn't know know it.. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that's that's that's that's that's that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that was that was that was like, that was like, that was like, that was like, that was like, that was like, that was like, that was like, that was like, that was like, that was like, that was like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's like, that's from clout or like, wait, how is clout making money? I didn't know you got vouchers. I just remember it being like, you could click on it and be like, you're an influencer in coffee mugs. They'd give you free shit sometimes.

If you like reached enough followers, or you got enough engagement, it would be like, you've earned 20 clout, clout bucks. And you can spend that on this this hat that says I love tweeting and shin I do love tweeting I'm trying to find out about like the website and much like the band live It turns out that it's a terrible social media strategy because you'd write social media cloud are you spelling it with a K? Was it spelled with a K? Yeah Yeah, that's good easier. That's good SEO.

Clout is shutting down. 25th of May 2018. Rips! Rips! Okay. Roops. So Clout would use online social influence. It would calculate online social influence via the cloud score. Numerical value between one and 100, measured the size of a user's social media network and correlated the content created to measure how other users interact with that content. Launched in 2008, fucking hell.

Ufah, duffer. Oh my god, this is how long this was going on for. They were adding up your various followers and all that sort of stuff from Instagram, sure, Twitter, YouTube, sure. LinkedIn, Google Plus, 4 Square and Bing. Four Square and Bing. Wait what, what do you get a Bing score? What's your Bing score? What's your Bing score? Oh man, here's an article from 2013 on Ad Week. Nearly three years after Clout launched Clout perks

as its first paid product for brands, letting marketers like Chevy reward influential users with offers like a weekend-long test drive. More than one million perks have been claimed across 400 campaigns. Alright, so I guess they would give you free shit if they thought that your profile, like your audience would be interested in that free shit with the hope that you would then post about it. And look, I think in the theory this makes sense to me in the world that we live in to say we're going to give brands and stuff a measurable way for them to like assess who

to reach out to and you know offer like promoted content or or like yeah ad reads or whatever the fuck. Spon con, spawn con. Spon con. Uh, that kind of, that kind of makes sense. But again, I would, I would simply ask the question you asked at the beginning, which is, how is cloud making money out of this though? Equipono, I ask. Hmm. I don't know if that's what those words are, or if that's what they mean. Let's try and figure this out. Quote, they've been fascinated with perks, said Fernandez of Bing's advertising

and brand solutions team. You'll see some experimentation in the second half the year. Sponsored answers maybe. User-generated content pages for perks being spotlit on Bing. Clatt was criticized for the opacity of their methodology. In spite of the controversy, some employers made hiring decisions based on clout scores. As reported in an article for Wired, a man recruited for a VP position with 15 years of experience consulting for companies, including America Online, Ford and Kraft, was eliminated as a candidate specifically because of its cloud score, which at the time was 34 in favor of a candidate with a score of 67.

Oh man. Oh my god, that's bleak. That's dog shit. That's so dog shit. Imagine getting that phone call. Sorry and being like, sorry, can I ask, like what was the problem with my resume? Like, what could I do better? And they're like, listen, it's your cloud score. 34?

You're applying here with a 34? Come on. Who the fuck do you think you are? Coming in here with a score like that? Who do you think we are that we would accept a 34? When we had a 67? Telling someone that they have not got the job because of their cloud score and saying, oh, this conversation never gets any easier no matter how many times I have it. What the fuck is a cloud score?

Or people saying, before you hang up on it real fast, you know? God damn. So yes, some fans got thrown out of the game. Speaking of cloud score, how bad, how th, how, how, how, how, how, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, thi thi, thirty thirty-a thirty-s thirty-a thirty-a' thirty-a' thirty-a' thirty-a' thirty-a' thirty-a' thirty-a' thirty-a, th some fans got thrown out of the game. Speaking of clout score, how bad did you get clouted with a hot dog? There's a quote, they were throwing people out like crazy because it progressed as things do to water bottles, so the water bottles started coming from the upper deck. I was there with my boys and we got out, he said. He's hurrying out of the stadium. He's talking about like his sons or like his group

of guys were his homies. Me and my boys got out of there. At seven grown adults be like, this is very unsafe. Let's get out of here. Let's go hang out at Troy's house. Get in that garage. I don't know. I'm gonna say I thi's it it it it it it it's I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. I th. I th. th. thi's thi's the thi's th. th. th. th. th. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thu. the. the. the. thu. too. too. too. today. today. th. th. th. th. th'm gonna I'm gonna say I think it's I think it's the kids because if you were there with your small children and people start piffing full water bottles. Yeah you should probably leave. That's like kids this is dangerous we've got to go but if you're just there with like three of your other large boys and you've all had you know half a dozen beers half a dozen hot dogs you got the strength to get in on the engagement you know your crew can join this raid as it happens yeah

yeah Derek Dennis Dave get on in there start hurling Mount Franklin water bottles no it's sorry Americaling Mount Franklin water bottles. Ah, sorry, America, Evian water bottles at the opponents. See how you go. Good luck over there. I don't think they're selling Evian at the Philadelphia baseball game. I don't know the American water bottle brands because I also, a bottle of water their bottle of water. Get your big metal water bottle, ladies. Get your clean canteen directly into someone's noggin. They're selling Dasani at the baseball game, I think.

Yeah. Yeah. It just makes you sick during the game. He said he'd been to dollar dog nights before and has never seen anything quite like this. But he adds, there was nothing malicious. Hands up, palms out. Good, clean fun, perfectly illegal. I don't want to interrogate the thought that it progressed as things do to water bottles. Like all things, the arc of the universe is long and it bends towards throwing water bottles at people.

I don't know if water bottles is meant to be the logical thing there so much as people just started throwing the heavier, harder things that they had available to them. Yeah. Yeah. From a D2 damage thrown item to a D4, That's right, wretching it up a notch. There are two more dollar dog nights, one on April 25th and another on May the 9th, so be warned. Yeah, if you come here, it's at your own risk. You're getting mustard, you're getting ketchup. You know what to expect. Yeah, possibly concussed because of a water bottle hitting you in the head.

The Phillies released this statement to action news. Quote, there were several people who were ejected from our game last night as a result of their unruly behaviour, a behaviour which the Phillies do not condone. In addition, our staff took the appropriate action to assist any fans who voiced complaints. Unfortunately, the small minority of people involved in this situation put our regular fan base in a negative light. Yeah, you hate to see the good name of Philadelphia sports fans being times. Yeah.

Yeah. A guy that ate the horse to after the fucking tap, the Eagles win. Oh man, ate the what? Oh, he ate a horse turd, I believe, from like a police horse. There's like, surrounded by a ring of like hundreds of people cheering him. Uh, Philadelphia, it is nothing, if not a region of the world. Yeah. It's time to, I guess, depending on which direction you're facing in Philadelphia,

to swivel around, however many degrees it takes you to be facing Maine a different region. It's time for regional bullshit. Regional bullshit. Regional bullshit. Every little town has got their own bullshit. Regional bullshit. Every little town has just got to have it. It's time for regional bullshit. This story is actually a little older than the ones that we normally talk about.

I think it's maybe three or four weeks old now. But it's been at the very bottom of the notes and every single time I've gone to color it out. I've been like, ah. Nah, no, I can't. So it's, we had to do this finally. Because again, we are a podcast that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's to do this finally. Because again, we are a podcast that's very interested in sustainable living, sustainable production of podcasts.

Nothing goes to waste. Yeah. Reclaiming older stories, you know. This comes from the Associated Press. Main claims biggest ice disc, measuring 1,776 feet. It's pretty big. That's a big ice disc. That's a big feet. It's pretty big. That's a big ice disc. That's far as I'm concerned, yeah.

That's small to me, actually. It's cold. Do you think they did the 1776 on purpose? Do you think they did the 1776 on purpose? Oh, I didn't even think about that. Do you think it's, it's, they've calculated it to, to talk, to, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th, th, th, th, th, think about that. Do you think it's, it's, they've, they've calculated it to, God damn it. Talk about the greatness of America.

Yeah, these motherfuckers. The god damn declaration of independence, which I'm going to steal. Oh, awesome. That should be fun. F-way. Higgs. Volunteers cut a big old circle in a frozen lake and set it in motion, claiming a world record in a category that few people know exists. The biggest ice carousel.

Got something new to aspire to, Lucy. With the diameter of 1776 feet or 541 meters, the less patriotic measurement. Yeah. The giant piece of ice estimated at 146,000 tons, moved slowly like a lazy Susan to hoots, hollows and high-fives on Saturday. Are we spinning it? Or because then it's an ice carouser, otherwise it's just a stationary ice disk. And that sounds like shit.

And it has a very similar acronym to SIDS, so they probably want to avoid that. Yeah, okay. Yeah. I've never actually seen a news article describe a group of people as hooting and hollering. I only ever hear that used pejoratively. It's such a main behavior. Yeah. Undignified. No, people were hooting and hollering. It's such a main behavior. Yeah.

Undignified. The northern main ice busters had to cut through ice nearly 30 inches thick on a path painstakingly measured by survey crews to create a perfect circle measuring nearly six football fields across. Yeah, the last perfect circle was only about four or five guys, I think. Hey, O! If you're under 30, yeah.

It's a laborious but fun way to provide entertainment during the long, cold winter, and it has turned into something of a rivalry in places like Finland, Minnesota, and Maine. That's a, that's a slight collection of things. There's even a world ice carousel association. It's a friendly competition, said John Maso, media liaison for the Northern Maine ice busters. Sounds like a whole-time job. Full-time job. On Saturday it took a Herculian effort to get the giant disc moving with 10 outboard boat engines, farm equipment driving oversized propellers and a couple of wheeled vehicles too.

This is an insane thing to do. This rules! This is amazing. Also I'm very confused about the setup now so 10 they've like drilled some out boards to the edges of This rules, this is amazing. Also I'm very confused about the setup now so 10, they've like drilled some outboards to the edges of the disc pointed them I guess sort of, whatever that word is, you know when you make a line that doesn't cross through the circle it touches only one point on the outside. Oh, it's a tangent, on a tangent line. Okay. Okay. Okay.

That was a tangent as well. Then they've farm equipment driving oversized propellers. So they've just sort of made like ad hoc, titanic style, massive propellers, put them into the water. A John Deer Tractor or something? Yeah. All right, this is amazing. This is an incredible effort for something completely arbitrary and ridiculous.

It does nothing. Like it's just spinning? Yeah. Do you go on it? Imagine being on it. Oh my god, it'd be so much fun. You'd be slowly spinning in a featureless-less wide expanse where it's impossible to to their it their it their it their it their it their it's impossible to tell that you're speaking. Chuck Zwilling of Little Falls, Minnesota was there to help. Thank fuck. And he said he and his

family and volunteers back home will create an even bigger one to keep the competition going. Not very patriotic if you ask me. This is also very cool that like this is a small enough hobby that these rivals are helping each other beat each other? Yeah, that's nice. They got Chuck's Willing in from Minnesota. Yeah, so Maine's like we're gonna beat you, you naughty little gremlins down in Minnesota and Chuck's Willing's like, oh, I'll come help you though,, oh! First, Swilling said, he has to identify a lake that is large enough. Yeah. Green Prairie Fish Lake, used for the previous record, is too small for a 2,000-foot diameter ice disk that he envisions. Make it 2001, so it's still America relevant, you know?

Yep, why? Why? A little thing we like to call September the 11th yeah everybody can salute when it's not spinning. 21st feet at 9 11th of an inch. Quote it's the land of 10,000 thousand lakes in Minnesota so we have many options he joked. They got a funny to you. Yeah they got a big advantage on Maine, that's pretty rough. It's not really a huge joke. It sounds like he's just he's listing the fact. A number of lakes. We have a lot of lakes. Ha ha ha, good one, Chuck. A classic Minnesota humor. Chuck, you are the Budapista Lake-based comedian of the week.

Oh, dear. Um, how would you get from Maine to Minnesota, I wonder? Why, I'd simply board a plane and travel there. I'd probably take the Amtrak myself. That'd be really nice, actually. What if you can get a sleeper from Maine to Minnesota? Oh, that'd be nice. They've always got like a cool little regional name for like that specific train line as well, I bet.

Yeah, they do. Let's do 20 minutes on trains to close the episode out. Well, look, I would say to you that this isn't trainly train train train train train train train train train train train train train train train train train train train train train train train't trainly speaking. It's plainly speaking Uh, this is your captain speaking. Please return your seats for their upright positions as we are coming in hot on another edition of plainly speaking. Uh, I would say I feel like we don't, we don't do enough train related stories to, uh, we're gonna get trainly speaking. We need that trainly speaking theme because we've had to improvise it a few times that we've done it hmm sugar sugar from Fox News man board's plane realizes he's the only passenger on the aircraft not a dream he's living the dreamthe dream. Would you be like really going out of your way to monopolize the time of the stuff?

Yeah. I need another ice cube in my drink. One more. I need a one. One more. Getting, getting like, blackout drunk. Yeah, just being like, I want a glass of wine. I want you to bring me another one in half an hour.

And again. Want you to bring me another one in half an hour, another one 10 minutes before that. Another one 20 minutes before that. So two glasses of wine to start. A man from Lancashire, England, yuck, arrived in an airport recently, only to realize he was the only passenger booked on the flight. Ooh, woo, it's it's it's it's it's it's to to the the the the thi it's to thi, it's to to th you th you to to th you to to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. I the the the. I thea thea. I thea. I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to realize he was the only passenger booked on the flight. Ooh, ooh, it's got a bit of a Twilight Zone feel. It does. Suck if you plane crash.

Just you. I kind of feel like it was your fault. Yeah. Um, I, I think that this is Twilight Zone worthy because they didn't cancel the flight. Yeah, that's wild. I guess they, maybe they just needed the plane to be somewhere else. Probably, huh? You gotta do it. Yeah, we gotta get this guy's 70 pounds or whatever. That'll really help cover the cost of the $10,000 in jet fuel.

Yeah. Jetstar weighing his bag and being like, ooh, eight kilos. It's gonna be a hundred dollars. Tell him it's 200. I couldn't believe it when I saw that recently. We weigh in the individual bags and going, ah-uh, that's my FPOS machine. I'm so good at measuring the feel of a seven kilogram bag. I'm so good at it. I just keep the orange tag on my

bag. Yeah, they're pretty flimsy but if you take care of it. Yeah, now this may like... Hand wash only. Yeah, you don't want to give the game away, but if you got it laminated, then you'd be all good, you know? Yeah. Except when they say, hey, how did you have time to get this level? You could actually just print your own. You was thinking, maybe you could start a side hustle selling Jet Star tape. Holy fuck, you post up out the front of the airport at the entrance that's closest to Jet Star terminal, you'd be like, hey, do you want to take nine kilos of luggage? the bag looks a tap. thgue thgue thgue th. th. Oh th. Oh th. Oh th. Oh th. Oh th. Oh th. Oh th. Oh th. Oh th. Oh th. Oh th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, tho, tho, thi. Oh, thi, tho, tho, tho, th. Oh, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. theeea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thi. thi. thi. of luggage on a jet-gastel. Your bag looks a bit heavy there. I can just tell from the way your shoulder is sitting.

Cost it. Yeah, but for five bucks, I got you covered, bro. I have you so covered. I got you, bro, take two. Tell your friends. First one's free, the first one's the toll, brother. My goodness. First one's free. Don't worry, you'll be back. You'll be back.

This is going to make a million dollars. And then next week it's like JetStar plane crashes because it was 45 kilos heavier than they bought. Just looking up, counting your $10 bills, looking up at the TV. Oh, that's not my problem. Paul Wilkinson, a 65-year-old father of one, boarded a flight from Therow to Belfast, Ireland with the airline jet two. What if that's a...

Oh, well, I was going to say, I wonder if that's a common flight path, but judging by the number of people on the plane, I guess not. Mayor. Wilkinson was surprised to realize he was the only person who bought a ticket for the flight that particular day as SWNS reported. Just getting off the, but like trying to contact the news while you're still on the flight. You guys aren't going to fucking believe this. This is insane. This is insane. This is insane. This is insane. I I this is insane. I this is insane. I this is insane. I this is insane. I this is insane. I this is insane. I this is insane. I this is insane. I this is insane. I this is insane. I don't think this has ever happened. My goodness. At first Wilkinson thought his plane had been delayed or cancelled since there were no other

passengers at the gate when he arrived. I spoke to the stewards waiting to take the passports and they said, Oh, Mr. Paul, you're the VIP today. You're flying on your own. Portuguese there? Yeah, I think that was a flawless Portuguese accent. Perfect. The project manager said the flight really was like his own private jet. Just with maybe a few too many seats on it.

The cabin crew were smiling. They kept calling me King Paul, he said. That's what? Incredibly strange choice. He even took a few photos with the crew who were working the flight. The service on the plane was second to none, he said. They did a one-on-one safety demonstration. We took photographs and the captain came out and had a chat with me, he said to SWNS. I'm imagining being on this flight and somebody is standing like 40 centimeters away from you doing the safety demonstration while you just look at your phone and ignore them. Yeah, this is my actual nightmare that they like looking at you actively as you're meant

to be watching them. No thank you. Yeah, I've seen it before. I've seen it before. I've been on a plane. Yes, I will get oxygen first before giving it to my child. I understand. I will help myself before the people around me or whatever. Is that what you meant to do? You meant to put your own mask on first? Yeah, you got to put your own mask on first. Yeah, see, that's why you need to listen to the safety briefing. Well I knew I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I that's that's that's that's I I that's I that's I that's I that's I that's I that's I that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. th. th. th. th thi thi that thi thi thi that that that thi thi thi thi. thi thi. that th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the the the the the the to to the to to to to the to the the to the the the the the the the thi the, I would always do that before helping match. There's a part in the Jetstar safety briefing that just burns into my head every fucking time where the phrasing they use is like, in the event of an emergency, please leave everything behind, which like obviously they're talking about don't try and get your belongings, but there's something weirdly like... Do you think they mean like, um, you know, people? I think their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thirty. thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty s. th. the. the. the. the.. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's. It's th. It's th. It's th. th. th. th. the. the. thea. thea. toea. toea. tea. tea. tea. tea. thea. thea. thea., you know, leave? I think they mean like leave behind all of your regrets, all of your disappointments. Yeah, leave your former self behind.

They're talking about dying and your soul passing on, turning on the wheel of Sam-Sara, leave everything behind. Don't bring your insecurities, gone. Yeah, your regrets, gone, the lessons you learned, missed opportunities, gone. Yeah, your regrets gone. The lessons you learned, missed opportunities, gone. Leave everything behind. Leave behind. Leave, leave behind it, you know, the disagreements you had with your neighbors. And also your bag. And especially your bag. Don't you need to bring your fucking iPad with you to hell where you're going back King Paul straight to hell the three hour flight cost Wilkinson roughly 143 dollars and he jokingly

asked for a refund for his seat don't be a prick Paul how funny was that what's the joke was it worth it what is the joke what is the joke what's the joke oh this is a terrible seat can over a refund shut fuck up King Paul I mean I think it's I think it's pretty obvious that you're the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th th th th th th th th th tho. tho. the the tho. tho. tho. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the tro. theeea. tho. tho.? Oh, this is a terrible seat. Can I have a refund? Shut up, King Paul. I mean, I think it's pretty obvious that you're the only one who definitely got value out of the plane ticket. You know? Yeah. Hmm.

One of the funniest parts of the day, in Belfast and Wilkinson's luggage was the only piece of baggage claim. Fuck that's funny. Now that's comedy, as opposed to being the logical extension of the entire experience that you've had so far. He's describing like a scene from a Zach Braff directed it's sad indie comedy where like the main character is sitting in line. Yeah, and it's just the one, one item of baggage going around his way. It's not his. It's not. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's funny. that's that's funny. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's funny that's funny that's funny that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's funny. that's funny. that's funny. that's funny. that's funny. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. that's that's funny. that's funny. that's funny, that's funny, that's funny, that's funny, that's funny, that's funny, that's funny that's funny, that's funny that's funny that's that's that's sad indie comedy where like the main character sitting alone. Yeah and it's just the one one item of baggage going around he's waiting for it to stop. It's not his. I'll see if I was I was confused. If I was punching that scene up right he'd stand there he'd stand there waiting you know look at a bit sad waiting for his bags to come out right and because we've all seen him alone at the airpour in athe plane and alone at the baggage thing and it comes out and it starts

coming around to him. And then just as it gets near him, another guy appears and he's like, oh, that's my bag. He takes it and walks out. Yeah. Or they get into a tussle. You know they get to like the funeral or whatever that he's going to, but he's got a black eye. And you know he's going to. A no bag. He doesn't have his bag. And then for the whole movie he's wearing the one outfit that's inappropriate for the things that he's going to. Yeah, exactly. What happened? He's like, I don't want to this job interview right after the funeral you just went to? Yes. You know? Yes. We're going to make a million dollars. Yeah. He needs a quirky woman to liven up his depression. Snap him out of it. Oh my god, he sees Natalie Portman is walking around town with like wheeled luggage and it's his suitcase. It's his suitcase. And he confronts her.

Like a serendipity type thing. But it turns out she just bought it from like a thrift store. Yeah, she's thrifty. Yeah, because she's quirky, all her clothes are secondhand. He's like, hey, that's my fucking luggage. And she's like, I don't know you, Mr. Step off. I'll kill you. I'm listening. I'm listening. I'm listening. I. I. I. I'm listening. I. I. I'm listening. I. I. I'm listening. I. I'm listening. I'm listening. I'm listening. I. I'm listening. I'm listening. I'm listening. I'm listening. I'm listening. I'm listening. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm th. I'm th. I'm just. I'm just. I'm th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I just. I just. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. th. to. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th listening to Shoots 2 now. Oh, see, I was gonna ask, if we made a movie like that today, like the abysmal Garden State. 100 gags? Yeah, that was the band I was gonna say.

Get the fuck out of here. She puts the headphones on it. She's smiling. He's wincing in agony because he's seven years older than her, you know? Let me show you some real music and it's live Dolphins Cry. My goodness. So anyway, this loser got his piece of luggage. Yeah, King Paul. Not the fucking king anymore, Paul.alled back in the earth. I just watched the movie 12 Angry Men for the first time recently. What a wonderful picture. Yeah, I think it was when I had COVID and I just had a couple of days of just sitting on the couch, you know. And I was like,

let's get through a backlog of movies. And I watched 12 angry men for the first time. And there's the scene where they're all talking about the the the the the old the old the old the old the old the old the old the old the old the old the old the old the old the old the old the old the and there's the scene where they're all talking about the old man who said he heard, his witness account of saying he heard the stabbing take place and a body fall on the ground and stuff. And the old guy who's on the jury is like, you know, he's this man who's never been listened to him. You know, he's just gone through his life and nobody's ever really paid attention to him or cared about him. He's a real pathetic loser, see? Real pathetic loser and then one day somebody was like, hey, they listened to him and they said, did you hear anything? Did you see anything? And like he's never had his name in the paper. He's never been quoted in the paper. And that's a big deal to people. That's King Paul.

He's having his moment. He's having his fucking moment in the sun. You know what, if you're listening to this, Paul, if you're listening to this paywalled episode of an Australian comedy current events podcast? You're nothing. You're pathetic. You're nothing. You're disgust me.

. You're a grubby little worm and you think just because you got on a plane. He's telling this story to everyone. Everyone. And they're so fucking sick you hear it. Craneing his neck around 270 degrees because he heard someone say aeroplane. And he's like, you're talking about planes? I've been on a plane. Every time the Paul catches a flight for the rest of his life. He's telling his seat neighbor neighbor neighbor neighbor neighbor neighbor neighbor neighbor neighbor neighbor neighbor neighbor neighbor neighbor neighbor neighbor neighbor. the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. He's. He's. He's. He's, th. He's, th. He's, th. He's, th. He's, you're th. He's, you, th. I, you're th. He's, you're th. He's, you're th. He's, you're th. He's, you're th. th. th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you're th. He's, you're a th. He's a th. He's a th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. th. thean. th. th. th. of his life. He's telling his seat neighbor. He's gonna turn to them and go, you know, one time, one time I got a plane, and you wouldn't believe what happened.

Slide Attendant is like tea or coffee, and he's like, I'm King Paul. You've probably heard about me. Yeah, that's me. King Paul. You probably heard about me from me. I bet there's a real like real underground network of of flight attendants who talk to each other. Word gets around. Sure you've heard of King Paul.

The group chats. Yeah. My suitcase came around on its own because I was the only one in baggage claim. Wilkinson recalled on his deathbed 40 years later. I remember it as if it were yesterday. Screen starts shimmering. Go back. Yep.

And there it is, one piece of luggage. As he's getting off the plane, the pilot system, earn this. Earn this. Cut to pole, looking at this newspaper clipping, that 95 tears rolling down his face. I hope I did enough to be enough to Paul, looking at this newspaper clipping that 95 tears rolling down his face. I hope I did enough. I hope I did enough to be known as King Paul.

God I hope he hears this so bad. Don't send it to him by the way. Don't clip this at email. Paul Wilkinson. Not that many people in Ireland. He's from Lancashire name, he's Paul Wilkinson, he's 65. He's from Lancashire, so he's English and he's a project manager, so don't use that information to track him down on LinkedIn, which he almost certainly has, because he's a project manager, don't send this to him.

Paul Wilkinson, 65, Lancashire, England, project manager. Don't do it. He was on the flight after leaving a golfing trip in Portugal to meet his wife Deborah in Belfast saying she too was traveling although not on a private plane. Well, neither would he... You weren't on a private plane. You weren't on a private plane. Stop it. You're fooling yourself.

This is probably a fun day for him. I'm going to be honest. If the the the the th, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if I, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. He, th. He, th. He, th. He, th. He, th. He, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thi thi thrioooo thi, thi, be so mean to. This is probably a fun day for him. I'm gonna be honest, if I was the airline that ran, oh no, it does say airline jet too. I was gonna say they got no publicity out of this, but they're up top. It's okay. My wife said she was cramped up on another flight and I was on my own private jet. You weren't. You weren't. You weren't, Paul. You're sitting in the same seats.

You're not a king, Paul. You're a pretended to the throne. Do you think that when he tells this story, several thousand times before his death? Next week, yeah. Do you think that when he tells the story he's going? He's he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he tel tel tel tel tel tel tel tel tel tel tel tel tel tel he you think that when he tells the story, he's going to start kind of leaving out the part where it was like a commercial flight and he's just going to start saying, so I was on my private jet? I was on a Lear jet. I was on my own plane, which is a Concord by the way, they still fly at my concord that I have. It was mine for me. I was the Pope the Pope the Pope the Pope the Pope the Pope the Pope the Pope the Pope the Pope the Pope on that that that that that that that that that that that that the Pope that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that. that. that. to to to to to to to to to to th. to th. the. the. theananananananananannenenenenenenenenene. the. theate. thoooooen. the thaeananananananaa. theananananannea. theannea. the. the. th Concord that I have. It was mine for me and I made an exception for me. I was the Pope on that plane and the King also. I reckon for every flight from now on he's saying, boy this isn't quite like the private jets I'm used to flying on. Yeah. Where they all call me

sexy Paul. They call me Big Dick Paul on that plane. Sexy big dick King Paul. You probably heard of me. You know? Not even a long flight. You are putterfist's bitch of the wake, Paul. Pussy in the wake. You're so much better than us. You're fucking three-hour flight on an empty plane. Congratulations to 65-year-old father of one Paul Wilkinson from Lancashire, England.

You are the Bruntavist a bitch of the week. My goodness. Well, he can tell people about that one too. Yeah. They said I had a big dick, I wasn't really packed. Oh, dear. Well, that's almost enough about Paul. And next episode, nothing but Paul.

Our old Paul. Welcome to the Buntavista poll cast. All Paul all of the time. That's been a little teaser of Paul in this episode of Buntavista. That's right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I was trying to remember what month was next to suggest that maybe instead of playprol next month we'll be having a Paul themed month.

Pay. Yeah, it really hard to fit Paul into May. Yeah, I'm not sure about that. Moll. Welcome to Mall. It's the all-Paul month on Buonto Vista. Pay Paul. No, no, that's still this month, I guess. That's where Paul pays you $300 to make fun of him on a podcast, which hasn't happened here, by the way. It hasn't. It hasn't.

It's a fetish or king thing. Making fun of him very, very spontaneously. Uh, that's right. It's playperall. Tell all your friends about the podcast where, uh, they're working in the shit factory and making fun of an old man. Tell them to start this episode for about five minutes in. Oh, okay. Let's give the first time. Start about 45 minutes it actually. You really want it for the pole bashing. Yep.

Well, thanks for sticking around for an episode. A bonus episode of the podcast, Pointe Vista. We appreciate it. We appreciate you going to all the effort of like digging out your debit card, you know, signing up for the podcast. Right and that CVV on therethere I get so fucking mad when the only Payment method except one thing is credit card and I have to actually type all the numbers in fucking furious My my browser just auto completes it. Yeah. No, no. I want to be signing in with PayPal. I want to be theypil. I want to be the the they's I'm Apple paying on my phone. You know. I will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will will. I will the world. I will the world. I will the world. I will their. I will their. I will their. I will just. I will just. I will just. I'll just. I'll their. No. No. No. No. No. No. No, I'm their. No, I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I'm the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the only the the only the the the only the only the the the the the signing in with PayPal. I want to be... These days I'm Apple paying on my phone, you know?

I will never Apple pay. You would just mount a perfect exit from this episode. And then we're like, you know what? I'm sick to death. Hey, it's time for the fucking... Time for the roast of credit card numbers. If you're sick and tired of your credit card number, send it in to Mailbag at Bluntavista.com. We'll sign you up. Yeah, we will, we can analyze your credit card number for you and tell you whether it's good

or bad. Don't forget, XB. Yeah, photo of both sides of the card. I'll tell you if it's lucky. Yes. Punching it in to like, you know, buy yourself another fucking 10 PlayStation games and saying, yeah, this number's unlucky. I'd like you for you, Paul.

You're fucked up. Oh, thanks everybody. We will see you next week. Bye. Bye. Bye.