Boonta Vista - UNLOCKED BONUS EPISODE: Tampon Poisoning on the Orient Express

Episode Date: June 25, 2020

We're unlocking our bonus episodes for the indefinite time period in which people are self-quarantining, because when all you have is a podcast, everything looks like a problem you solve with podcast episodes. Enjoy! *** Andrew, Lucy, and Ben take a break from spoiling the end of Uncut Gems to talk about hysterical, dairy-addled cops pretending to be poisoned to make people like them, and try fit the perverted French Canadians into existing show canon. *** Support our show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista *** Email the show at [e-mail]! Call in and leave us a question or a message on 1800-317-515 to be answered on the show! *** Twitter: twitter.com/boontavista Website: boontavista.com Merchandise: boontavista.com/merchandise Twitch: twitch.tv/boontavista

Hello and welcome to Budavista. This is a bonus episode. I am Ben and I'm here at the 2015 NRL Grand Final. Sweating profusely as the game goes into Golden Point and trying to calm my nerves by taking big warm sips of the $12 mid-strength beer it took me 15 minutes to buy. Staring furiously at the sports bet app on his phone try to use the secret to willing to existence the overly convoluted multi-bet he placed this afternoon. It's Andrew. Hello, I'm going to be furious if I am not a millionaire by the end of this game between I guess guess, two sports teams. Oh, come on.

It's one of the great- We're not doing this. We're not doing this. I'm here for the gambling. I'm here for the gambling. You're here for the like 20-leg bet that you place that has no way of ever coming true. But if it does, you star to make $17 million dollars $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ million $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $1 million million million $1 million $1 million dollars. That's right. Someone's got a hit it at some point. That's true. I could be just like, I could be just like Adam Sandler in Uncut Jems being shot in the face immediately after the game ends. That's the dream. But he died so happy. He did, didn't he? That's what I talk from that film anyway.

Oh yeah, what a horrible way to start the episode. Anyway, and continue your intro Ben. Yeah, I mean enough about us chumps out here in the stands. Out on the field, preparing to kick a game-winning field goal for the Cowboys 19. to half meters out for the Broncos try line. It's Lucy. It's Lucy. thuuuu. I am just so jacked. I'd love that the The tie-breaker for this is called Golden Point, which is something I would make up as a seven-year-old girl. Well, it's a very special point. If you could name a more precious metal that it could have been named after, I simply might be honest. You gotta get that magical point at the end, and I'm gonna do it. I think I've probably have probably probably probably probably probably probably probably probably probably probably probably probably probably probably probably probably that. I've that. I've that. I've that. I've that. I've the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their tie. I'm tie. I'm tie. I'm tie-c. I'm tie-s. I-s. I-s. I-I-eck. I-I-I-I-eck. I-I-I'm tie-I-I-I at the end, and I'm gonna do it. I think I have probably paid you the highest compliment in doing this that I have of anyone on the podcast ever, casting you in the role of Jonathan Thurston, the greatest in our role in the history of the game.

And we are all Thurston for Jonathan. Yeah, it's so true. I will say that. He's a beautiful man, a lovely man. He's a straight ten hottie. By all the counts, cheats on his wife like crazy at the regatta. But that's, you know, that's sort of like, if you are in the NRL, you go to the regatta to cheat on your wife. That's right. It's just part you do. You know what we all say. That might be defamatory actually, I don't know.

Apparently he's a very lovely man, does lots of stuff for charity. He seems very, very sweet by all the cowds. Don't know what a cheating on his wife. Does a lot of stuff to charity. Donating a whole heap of dick around the regatta. Oh, the regatta stays at the regatta. The regatta sucks. That is, I don't think that's defamatory, that's just true. It's a horrible place. I can't really describe it so much as it was a place that was a shit bar and then the floods happened and then they redid it to make it a nice bar and then they decided that everyone that used to go there no longer belonged. They used to have like an insanely popular union night that they were just sort of quietly

try to discourage people from going to because they're like, we don't want your kind here anymore. Oh, that's a shame. I just want to say that it's it, I agree with Lucy. It's an extremely soft shit to call it the golden th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the it the the the the the the. I that theat the. the the the the the the the the the the. I they're just they're just they're just they're just they're just they're just they're just they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that they're just just just just just they call it the Golden Point and I think the American thing of calling it sudden death is way cooler. It is very badass I'll give it that. It's much cooler. It's so much cooler that they named a Jean-Claude Van Damme movie after it. They sure did. Do you think the is that with no? How old would that term be? Sund death as a concept that sounds like some taken from from from from from a the the the the the the the th f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f. th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do I th. Do I th. Do th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the the the the the the the the the th. I I I I I I I I I th. I I th. I I I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thin. I th. I thin. I th. I thin. I th. I th. I thin. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I, how old would that term be? Sudden Death is a concept. That sounds like some taken from a like French phrase shit to me. To be clear, I'm saying that they named the movie after the concept of sudden death from a sports game,

because it also sounds like a cool imminent threat type thing, you know, they used to like to do that for action movies. Mercury, rising, something, verbing. Um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, that, that, um, um, that, um, that, that, that, um, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, th, th, the, the, the, the, that, that, the, that, that, that, the, that, that, that, that, that, the, the thrue, thri-ffe, thrific, thre thr-a, thrific, the, threat type thing, you know, they used to like to do that for action movies. Mercury rising, something, verbing. It's great stuff. Sorry, I'm just looking at the, uh, I'm looking at the disambiguation thing for sudden death on Wikipedia. And it's broken down into sports, entertainment, medical. Oh, no. I'm just thinking about Mercury Rising.

I think Mercury Rising was on the TV in the late 90s every week. I feel like I've seen Mercury Rising more than any movie I've seen in my entire life. Yes, I'm doing a very unfortunate job of cementing one very specific and bad version of autism into the public's consciousness forever. Mm-hmm. Good stuff. That little kid from kindergarten cop who says, boys have a kid from kindergarten cop who says it is.

It is the kid from kind of. Right, it is. He has autism. Yeah, and then he walks around with his little card saying, Mommy, Simon is home. It's pretty bad. It's not even a good film by any other the thiiiii- the public thi- the public thi- thi- th-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-s-s-a-s-a-s consciousness-a-a-a-a-a-s consciousness, th-a-s consciousness-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-s tho's th's th's th's th's th's th's th's th's th's th's th's th's th's th's th's th's th's th's th's th's th's th's th-s c-s ca-s ca-s ca-s ce-s ce-s ce-s ce-s ce-s consonsonsonso-s consciousness, tho-s consciousness, tho-s consciousness, tho-s co-s'-s'-s'-s'-s'-sonsonsonsonsi-a-s co-s co'-s co'-s co'-s saying, Mommy, Simon is home. Get a little robot. It's pretty bad. It's not even a good film by any other means. It's not very good.

No, Bruce Wilms is like, stop shouting like Rain Man kid. And he's like, Simon, and so on and so forth. Can we talk about the ending of uncut gems just for a moment? Yes. See, I feel like husband of the show Jesse didn't like it. I feel like Adam Sandler died doing what he...

The ending. I feel like Adam Sandler died doing what he loved. He was happy. He died so at peace. He died at his peak. Well, I mean, do you reckon it's like, spoiler alert, the ending of the wrestler and the ending of Black Swan, where they both die doing the thing that they love at the peak of their game?

Well, no, not in the wrestler's case, but still achieving that moment of bliss and then just carking it. Yeah, I don't think it was a happy ending for them. I think it was a happy ending for me. Because I guess, you know, when you look at the entire preceding run time of the movie, where everything is extremely stressful, very stressful. Things are just constantly going wrong for him or he's only just putting off, you know, either the collapse of his marriage or his business or having his legs broken or whatever by just just this constant kind of you know domino effect of

I'll take money from the next person and hand it to the person behind me who is demanding their money but um but I agree that in that moment all of his problems are solved all of his problems are solved everything's great he's finally hit the biggest win that he could ever hope to hit his beautiful girlfriend with a perfect ass is out there waiting with a duffer their thir thir the th th th th th th th th th tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho that that that that that that tho that the the their that I'll tho tho their their I'll their I'll their I'll their I'll their I I I I I I'll their I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I'll thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi that that that that that that that ta ta ta ta ta ta ta' ta ta tha tha tha thi thi thi biggest win that he could ever hope to hit. His beautiful girlfriend with a perfect ass is out there waiting with a duffel bag full of money somewhere. And everything's great. But I would also argue that as a movie, I think a lot of people pointed out, it belongs much more to that kind of 1970s character study kind of genre of movie where it's not really it doesn't have to have that same kind of arc that movie a lot of movies these days seem to need to force themselves into it's more just here

are several days in the life of someone who is very different to you. Yeah. No that's basically pretty much exactly my. I didn't see anything different represented on screen. Okay. Got shot in the face last week immediately after hitting. Great movie. Never want to watch it again. I'm looking up to a second watch I think. Yeah I think so. You guys seem good good time the other... I have not. It's very good. Oh it's so good. The Safty brothers. It's. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I I I I I I I I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the th. I the th. I th. I the the th. I th. I th. I the the the the th. I th. I th. I th. I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I the. I the. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. th. I good time the other What's their name? Oh my god. Oh, it's so good the Safdy brothers It might be a little problematic, but it's it's a good film. Yeah, it is arguably a much much much darker movie Yes, it's like a darker uncut gems. It's probably a little less stressful similar similar vibe though But I think I feel like maybe I feel like maybe Maybe uncut gems will be less stressful on a second watching now that you sort of know how it resolves, you know?

Because that's that you're along for the ride. Yeah, because I think when you're, I think a repeat watching of uncut gems to me would let you watch it sort of going, oh, I can observe all of somebody's actions and everything knowing the things that they'll cause and what will happen and all that sort of stuff. Laughing because you know he's gonna be fucked up. Yeah, he has no idea. Take that.

Versus, versus like the, that sort of initial watching, where I feel like you're sort of clawing at yourself going, oh, this is all about to go terribly wrong. I absolutely hate to be listening to this episode if you've not seen the movie uncut jams. You're like these motherfuckers. If you haven't seen the movie uncut jams, please rewind the episode by about three or four minutes, and then fast forward by about five minutes. Listen, you've had time it's already to to to to to to to to to me to me to me to me to me to me to me to me to me to me to me to me to me to to to to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to to be to to to to to to the the the to to the the the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to to to to to to to to to to be to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the then fast forward by about five minutes. Listen you've had time it's already on American Netflix or whatever. Took a long time for me to see it. It's been out for, I don't know how long time's running anymore.

I feel like six months ago maybe. It's true. I have literally no idea. We have all lost such concept of time. I feel like I was talking to someone at work the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other time. I feel like I was talking to someone at work the other day and I was just like, I just have no idea how long I've been working at home for now. I don't know. I don't know. Like you said, six months? Has been six months? Maybe less. It's been a while. I don't know. I don't know. All I know is that because my 30th birthday happened during all of this, I just

get to stay 29. I'm not sure how that works, but... I get to stay 29. I'm not 30. Yeah, that, you totally get to stay that way. It's going to be my 30th birthday later in the year and if it happens when I'm stuck in my apartment, it totally doesn't count. Yeah, we'll have our 30ths next year when we're older, more mature people who have sorted our lives out. Exactly. Ready to be 30-year-olds. Ooh. Wooot. I feel sad for all those people who were like, um, all those people who were like, oh,

I was just getting my life on track and had all my years of like fucking everything up over and over again in the same ways And then slowly ironing it all out and getting to a point where I just have like a pretty even keel an existence that I'm sure many people would describe as quote-unquote very boring But I also, I also, you know, I don't know, I don't think their life on track is. Yeah, and I also, um, like, like, you know, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I, I don't, I, I don't, I don't, I don't, I, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, like, I don't, I don't, I don't, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, I, like, like, like, th. I, th. I, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, th, th, I, I, th, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. thi. th. th. thi. th. th, um, like, you know, I don't spend a lot of my time like going out. I don't, I don't go out a great deal, partly because of, you know, where I live as well. But, um, but I also no longer have the constant pangs of dread that I used to get all of the time every time that I remembered things like how much money I owed people. Every now and then my phone would ring and it would be like an unlisted number and I would go, oh that's another debt collector calling to ask me about that money.

Oh man I got a fucking letter in the mail today that was by like it was just a letter with no return address that was like registered mail the money th people th people th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho thi thi tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th tho tho tho tho tho tho the the the the the the tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho fucking letter in the mail today that was by like it was just a letter with no return address that was like registered mail and I was like, oh fuck I fucked up so bad. But no it was the doctor saying hey you should come get a check up about your obstructive sleep apnea and I should I should do that. Yeah, um, whereas you just you just gave me a flashback to receiving one of those letters. It was like legally you you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thu, you thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thi, thi, thi, thi, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like thu, like thu, like thu, like thu, like thu, like the, like the, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th th th th th th th th th thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, thatback to receiving one of those letters. It was like, legally you must open this and look at it. And I opened it and it like had a big, big solid like, like diagonal red and black striped border around it.

It was like legal. It was a legal thing. And it was a letter of demand from a from a debt collector who had purchased a debt from the Philip Video Easy franchise. They had they had purchased my 80 dollar late fee debt from Video Easy and were chasing me about it and I was like really did you just keep the videos or something? What the fuck's wrong with you? Yeah, what the fuck?

Took it back eventually. And then they won $80, you know? Get out of here. See, I had a debt from my optus phone company for so long that I forgot about because I left the country. And I didn't get text on my my my my my the their their the text from the debt collectors that were like, listen, if you pay half of your debt will consider your debt canceled. Now I realize you don't have to pay your debts at all. You just kind of leave it for a while. This guy that I know who

this is the financial advice segment of the podcast. If you leave it, they'll give you a discount. You do though like that so that so that so that so that so that so that so that's the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their th. So th. So th. th. thi th. th. thi thi thi. thi. thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thi. I thi. I the. I can can can can can't te. I te. I can't teeeeeeeeeeeeeeat. I can can't. I can't. I can't. I can't te. I can't te. te. You do though. Like, so this guy that I know was, he's a very strange man, he's life took turn, but he quit his job to do a private eye course with the hopes that he would become a private detective. And then instead, he got the job that you get when you have a private detective, you become a debt collector. And mostly it turned him into a very, very insensitive, unempathetic person that was very unpleasant to listen to him talk about work.

But also he was just like, yeah, so the companies buy these debts for like a fraction of what the debts are actually worth. And then if you're just like, oh, you're a debt collector, okay, I could pay you $10 a week for the next 25 years, or what if I pay you a third of the amount right now? They'll generally be like, yes, I will take that. So yeah, free advice of the show, if you have debt collectors on your ass, just like. Leave it for a the. Be patient. And haggle with them because they have so much leeway to drop that down because all they

want is to get money in because they didn't pay for the full amount for that debt. So try it. They've got something to lose. I didn't know this, but now I know this. Now I feel powerful. Well, I mean, if, like from their point of view, if they've done the thing thing thing thing thing thing thing thing thing thing thing thing thing, thin, thin, thin, thin, th and thin, the thin, the thin, the thin, to the to to to to the to to to to to to to to the to to to to to the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their their their their their their their their toooooooomoomorrow, their to their their their'll pay you 20 bucks a week because that's what I can afford to do and you charge them interest, then you have like this constant revenue stream. Whereas, you know, if you say I will give you a lump of cash to fuck off, then that's when you can kind of haggle. My personal advice is probably, I think that you're better off to pay them nothing than

to pay them the $10 or $20 a week. Because the reality is you will never repay the debt. With the interest that they whack on it, I don't know how they determine that. I'm sure that comes about through like the conditions of whatever original deal you made to either borrow money from someone or get a phone plan or borrow a fucking movie from Video Easy, that there was some condition buried down to the contract that's like, if you don't pay us back this money, we will hand your thing over to a debt collector and they can charge whatever the fuck interest they're like.

But I went through periods of occasionally being like I'm gonna get my shit together and answer the phone and they would be like hey you owe us tens of thousands of dollars and you know what what can you pay? Obviously you can't pay that what can you pay and you'd say you'd negotiate downwards some minimum amount you could repay and they go yeah yeah yeah, cool, you know, 50 bucks a week or 50 bucks out of your paycheck, you know. But you'd get to the end of the year and still owe the same money that you did at the start of the year. So I genuinely think if you are in this position, you are better off to pay them nothing. And occasionally come back and say, you know what, I can give you a couple of thousand dollars a day to to to to thoes to the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. I their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I, I, I, I, I their. I their. I, I'm their their their their theeaneanean. Ieaneaneaneaneaneaneateathea. I'm their their their their their their their their their thousand dollars today if you fuck off forever and they say no you I was more than that and you go talk to you any year. Have we talked about the robo debt ruling on the podcast I don't know

if we have I feel like we surely must have I don't know if we did I don't know if we did but all the robo debts were ruled illegal and they're going to be refunded if they were based on income averaging. Fuck you. Just wild that they had legal advice saying, hey this whole thing, it's bullshit, it's totally bullshit and you can't do it, it's not going to stand up in court. And they went, yeah, but what if we sent out eight million more of them? And they kept it, and it's taken so long just because of how long the legal process takes.

Like these challenges were taken years ago. And now they're finally, it's finally coming down to the point where they realized that, you know, we did something illegal, oops. legal oopsie. And I believe who was it Josh Feinberg or Christian Porter? I think Christian Porter also admitted recently that it was definitely going to leave the government open to damages on top of paying stuff back to everybody. Yeah there hasn't been any yet but that's definitely an open possibility hopefully.

Yeah well particularly like all the cases that we read about and talked about on the show and everything Yeah, well particularly like all the cases that we read about and talked about on the show and everything, all the all the incidents of them saying to people, you owe us all this money, except we're sending this to your old address where you don't live anymore because you are no longer obligated to keep your address updated because we to to tell you you don't know us any money. So instead without tellaintel tel tel their their their their their their their their thin, thin, thin, thin, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th tho, tho, their, tho, tho, tho, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, the the thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. tho. So. So, their money. So instead without telling you we are going to garnish your entire multi-thousand dollar tax return. Just just wild shit. And hopefully people are getting refunds. I think I'm gonna get a refund and I'm very excited. I am of course very depressed by the idea that this is yet another thing that this conservative

government has been able to like catastrophically fuck up, blow a gigantic hole in the budget, which is the only thing that they care about or profess to care about. And apparently it just still has no effect whatsoever on their standing electorally. People still love it. So good. Instead we've got labor seizing the day by saying, hey let's make a place for clean coal in our energy agreements. It's like thank you for striking while the iron is hot. I would like to have a seat at the table and to do that I've got to take my pants off and pancake my bare ass on the stool to be at the stoo st.... st. the st. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their people. People their people. People their their their their the the people. People. People their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their theau.eaugheat. Ie. Ieat. Ia. I'm toe. I'm toe. I'm their their their their their the like to have a seat at the table, and to do that, I've got to take my pants off and pancake my bare ass on the stool to be at the table. Everyone's going to look at my nude ass and they're going to laugh at it, but God damn

it will I be at that table so hard. Sitting at the fucking a tiny chair. Just it's just the sadder shit. I mean, I know we're jumping from thing to thing all over the place here, but I did see a little bit of online discourse about this. About this thing of Anthony Albanese saying, hey, we're gonna say, let's have clean coal and let's do blah blah blah in order to just bring the government to the table in negotiating on energy agreements and sorting out our energy market. It's just so fucking depressing to watch them bumbling around like begging for a crumb.

Just a crumb of anything. Still doing it. They're still doing this. Yep. And it's just the same thing over and over that has been for years now from the Labour Party, which is just continuing to say, please set the terms of engagement for us, and then we will only ever talk to you about exactly the thingms of engagement for us and then we will only ever talk to you about exactly the things that you consider within the realms of possibility.

Huge bummer. Huge. Huge bummer. It makes me sick to my stomach. It makes me sick to my stomach. And you know what else makes me sick to my stomach? When I am a policeman who has been poisoned by another member of Antifa. Oh, it happens all the time. Constantly, you're hearing about it more and more. I'm hearing about it so often. I try not to hear about the part of the story that happens after the first part of the story where I get poisoned.

Once I've been poisoned, I'm just like closing all the news apps on my phone. I didn't look at this part of the notes yet and I truly don't know which incident you were referring to at this point. Look, we'll get into both of them, but there is, this has been so much fun. So like, I'm sure everybody saw this right, that like a week or so ago, well, like, like a week ago, we played the clip of the lady cop crying because, like, Mick Nuggets were a little slow coming out of the drive-through. Which I think was in response to the Shake Shack incident, which I hope that ends up on the Wikipedia

page with that title. I say what, hold on, I seem to be having a smoke alarm situation, so you guys keep going. And I'm going to go resolve that. Let's see, you guys talk and we'll see if we can hear what's gone on the back things. All right. And just just is just is falling off a step ladder, Andrew yelling, help! All right so let me let me catch you up here. Ten days ago, June 15th, the New York City Police Department Detectives Endowment Association, which is like a police union I think, it's not a body that tracks cop dick size as you might guess from reading it. That's all the worded. Hey you did it what was the crisis? The crisis is my wife burn and my damn dinner you know

typical. Women be doing doing something with mushrooms I was like what's I can see all the smoke in the hallway and she's like, I'm steaming mushrooms? Sure. I don't think it's steam and smoke are different things. It's true, just does not set off the smoke alarm. I mean, I know they go off for particular kinds of vapor, but it's not not steam. I believe she's making the Bon Appetit mushroom pasta recipe.

You have a nice wife. You gotta cook the mushrooms down so that all the liquid comes out of it. You should never crowd your mushrooms. I just want to be very clear on that. That's so true. You shouldn't. That is so important. So, um, the Police Big Dick Society. Yes. The police big dick society. I feel like endowment only refers to penis. You you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you. You you the you you the you you you you you you the you dick society. Mm-hmm. Yes. I feel like endowment only refers to penis.

You can't use the word endowment in any other sense. It refers to your penis size. I think it's a big American university thing, isn't it? Endowments? A gift, like an endowment? Like financial endowance? So they put out this tweet, right? The red sort of flashing light emoji, the safety message that same emoji again. Tonight three of our fellow officers were intentionally poisoned by one of more workers at

the Shake Shack at 200 Broadway in Manhattan. Fortunately, they were not seriously harmed. Please say the safety alert. I would just like to note that considering this is put out by a verified account of a police organization. It's pretty serious. There is no, not only is there an absence of the word allegedly, which generally I think even members of the public when speaking about a possible crime are supposed to use in order to avoid, you know, accidentally defaming somebody, making themselves liable for legal action. They seem to have replaced the word allegedly with intentionally. Yeah, there's a strange legal decision that they've made there.

They have 1,000 percent been deliberately poisoned by one or more hippies. So part of me thinks that you, they maybe avoided having to use allegedly there because they were not indicating a specific person, but then still having intentionally poisoned by people working in that shake shack still seems like that's a big of enough accusation. Yeah saying saying one or more and intentionally poisoned kind of means that you need to at some point provide evidence that at least one person deliberately poisoned someone at the shake shack at 200 Broadway in Manhattan. Just you wait for that evidence. So they put that out in another police union in New York said it essentially exactly the same thing.

And obviously right-wing media went nuts with it, Fox went crazy with it, all of the usual like blue check-marked conservative dickheads were all like, oh my god, first they're putting concrete into ice cream and now they're putting acid into fucking thick shakes or whatever. The concrete milkshakes of course. A lot of people did try and draw that sort of bow into one thing. Even ShakeShack immediately after all this happened, they put out a statement saying we're horrified by the reports of police officers injured at our 200 Broadway shack in

Manhattan. We're working with the police now. So both of these say they were poisoned and they were injured, which is really, really interesting because it turns out when people actually looked into this story, no cop got sick. None of the three cops that were supposedly allegedly poisoned felt any symptoms whatsoever. Now now I'm no doctor. I am a doctor. I am a doctor. I I am Now, now I'm no doctor. Yes, I agree with you 100%. So, continue.

I'm no doctor, but I am given to understanding that poisoning generally comes with, I'm going to say at least one symptom. Yeah, that's the easiest way to tell that you've been poisoned, generally, is you feel the symptoms of being poisoned. But in this case, this is what happened. So this is from a report from the New York Post, which is usually fucking horrible. And quite reactionary, so I don't know how they've managed to do this well. Here's a quote from them.

Soon after sipping the shakes, however, the cops realized they didn't taste or smell right, so they threw the drinks in the trash and alerted a manager who apologized and issued them vouchers for free food or drink, which they accepted according to sources. But when the cops told their sergeant about the incident, the supervisor called in the emergency service unit to set up a crime scene at the fast food joint for an evidence search around 920 p.m Nearly two hours after they got the sour shakes. So hold on a second you're telling me that these guys all had the equivalent experience of when like you take I don't know some sour cream out of the fridge and you go how long has this been in the fridge for?

I'm trying to remember when we, when do we have, when do we have nachos? Just give it a taste, just give it a taste. Well, I don't want to taste it. Well, I don't want to taste it. Two months ago? You taste it? I don't want to taste it. You know what? I'm just going to throw it out. These three guys collectively have the experience of, is there something weird about this? Maybe, let's all throw our shakes away. And another cop hears this story and says, oh my God, you have died of being poisoned. You were murdered. You were murdered. I'm just disappointed. A thi. th. thiii. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thiol- thiol- thiol----------------------a something something something something something something something something something something something something something something something something something something something something something something something thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thioleniolenioleniolened thiolenioliolioli. thioli. thioli. thioli. thi. thi. thi. thi.'m disappointed. I thought they got diarrhea. Unfortunately there was no diarrhea.

Did any of you guys see it was like the lead image on the New York Post story of the crime scene where it is just a cop putting one of those markers, you know how it's got like a number on it for like this specific piece of evidence or whatever on the ground next to half a effect shake. Beautiful. So there's one more sentence left to this quote, which, which, which, which, which, which, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the thi, the the the the the thi, th th th th th th th th th thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, thi, they the the ground next to half a thickshank. Beautiful. So there's one more sentence left to this quote, which I think is probably the key one here. The three were rushed to Bellevue Hospital, where they were examined and released

without ever showing symptoms. Cool. Examined for what? Cops just love lying. To. They love lying so much. It is so true that when you're a cop you can legally do crime. You can just do whatever you want. There are no rules. And like the best thing about this is that that is already pretty nuts right. They were examined in the sense of the doctor's talking and said, you're okay and they said, my tomorrow said, my tomorrow's okay. And they said, my tomorrow to me. thi. tha. tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho thu is thu. thu. thu. thu. thi's thu. thu. tho tho thu is tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho thu is thu tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho thu is thu is thu is thu is thu is thu is thu is thu is thu is thu is thu is thu is thu is thu is thu. thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th I feel fine. I'm fine. My tummy doesn't even hurt. What are your symptoms? And they said, zero symptoms, doctor.

So despite the fact that these three officers were not sick in any way, the story that the police were trying to craft still was that some employees, some radical leftist guerrillas had tried to kill them because they'd seen they were cops and they had put bleach whatever in their drink. Except, this is the second twist. There was literally no way for the people who prepared the drinks to know that they were cops. This is another quote from that same New York Post story. The three officers were down from the Bronx

on protest duty in Lower Manhattan on June 15th when they ordered the now infamous mid-shift treats. That's a series of words. Via a mobile app around 7.30pm, purchasing three shakes across two separate orders, sources said. Which is interesting because one person is buying another person's shake, but the third person has been forced to buy their own so I don't know what the dynamics there are. But do you notice the do you notice the commonality here with the video that we were talking about last week which is again that

lady ordered her shit on an app and showed up to the drive-through not in order, or sorry not in uniform was like I have been victimized due to my policing. And it's like they don't fucking know like... Remember the Starbucks cup that said pig on it that also turned out to be fake? It's so weird how often this happens. Crazy. This goes on. Their drinks were waiting for them when they arrived at the Shake Shake on the second floor

of 200 Broadway a few minutes later. A female officer picked up her strawberry shake from the front counter and her two male colleagues. See, look, their drinks were looking after each other. They're getting each other thick shakes, very strange. Dude's right. Grabbed their cherry and vanilla drinks from a side counter, the sources said. Police sources explained it was clear that the workers couldn't have known cops had placed the orders since it wasn't done in person and they couldn't have dosed the drinks after the officers arrived because they were packaged or waiting for pickup when the

trio walked in. Discussing orders. Hold on, I don ask a question for a second. I don't particularly understand, like, the concept of Shake Shack, I've never been, they don't have them in Australia. It's like a burger place, right? It's a burger place, but I assume they just have shakes, too. I assume they can just order a couple of shakes. You're telling me a, like a cherry-flavored milkshake?

Yeah, I'm not on board with that. Americans love cherry flavor. It's disgusting. They don't understand that it tastes like, do you know their medicine doesn't taste like cherry, which is why they like to drink Dr. Pepper? It explains so much. Now for the record, this is show canon. I love both cherry flavored medicine and cherry flavored the rest of the stuff. Oh no. I like Dr. Pepper, I like cherry coke, I like all them shit's right. Cherry coaq's okay. Cherry flavored candies and such. I like to get high and eat a whole bag of the harribo little cherries. You are a disgusting man. You're a juicy man.

They're good. Anyway, the point is I do not want that in a dairy-based scenario. No absolutely not. That is the point is, I do not want that in a dairy-based scenario. No, absolutely not. That is the devil's combination. I'm fine with it in a cherry cola, or perhaps some type of candy. Truly disgusting. I'm not a dairy-based drink person myself. Disgusting.

I never say to myself, let's add milk to this. Make it a pardon. No, that's not a good time. So, feel free to write in the show, Melbag at Montevista.com, if you have some knowledge of ShakeShack that we don't, perhaps it is a, like a cherry lemonade type beverage and I'm just a fool. I would drink the cherry lemonade thing. I don't accept the cherry milkshake. It's certainly going to be a medicine thick shake. Discussing. I don't know why they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they th th th th th th the. I don't the. I don't thi. I thi. I thi, I thi, I don't thi. I the, I that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that. If that that. If you that. If you have. I have. I have. I have. I have. I have. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that that that that that that that that th th th th th th th th th the, I the, I the, I the, I the the the that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that thi that be a medicine thick shake to me. Oh, medicine thick shake. Disgusting.

I don't know why they decided that all their medicine would taste like cherry, but disgusting. Oh fuck that, it's the Shake Shack cherry blossom milkshake. Nope? I am out. That sounds nice. Like it's made from cherry blossoms. Which probably tastes like flowers? I believe that's probably what they would taste like.

I don't know. Disgusting. Anyway, the idea of a cop, just being like, oh, I've had a long day in the job, I'm going to go get a fucking thick shake. It's a drink for children. That is not for adult people. You can't just go on your lunch break and get a fucking thick shake. What's wrong with you? I'm with you here, Lucy, because like this is, I feel like this is a point of, I don't want to say division, just difference with me and my wife.

Well, like, um, on the rare, on the rare occasion that we will get McDonald's, she will sometimes be like, give me a big old burger meal and replace the Coke with a big fuck-off chocolate shake. I do love a McDonald's shake. But that's mind-blowing to me because like... But just getting a shake in the daytime is a weird thing to do. Oh man, a burger and a shake is a killer like, a killerimes a day. It's like immediate diarrhea for me, a few sips and it's just straight out at the other end.

I just disagree in that like if I'm having a burger, I want to be washing that down with a cool crisp taste of a Coca-Cola, something that is like refreshing, cleansing my palate, I'm not thinking thick milky drink. I can't. Just go out. What's your McDonald's order? Both of you? What what are your order in a McDonald's? I mean I don't really get McDonald's now because if you don't eat meat, the options they're a shit house. Yeah they're terrible. But like my ideal McDonald's order, the perfect McDonald's order, it's a large fries, double-quartered, th-a, th-a-a-a-a-a-a-cocococo-s, th-s, th-s, th-s, th-s, th-s, th-s, th-s, th-s, th-s, th-s, th-s, th-s, thi-s, thick-s, thick-s, thi-s, thi-s, thi-s, thiolkic-s, thi-s, thiolkic-s, thiolate, thiolate, thiolate, thiolate, thi-s, thi-s, thi-s, thi-s, thi-s, thi-s, thi-s, and thi-s, and thi-s, and thi-s, and thi-s, and thi-s, and thi-s, and thi-s, and thic-somenkiolenolenolenolomea-s, thic-s, and thiolough-s, thiolough-s, thic-s, thiolioli's order, the perfect McDonald's order, it's a large fries, double quarter pounder, medium chocolate thick shake.

Huh. Okay. I'm going to say, I've been enjoying, I've been enjoying the crispy chicken clubhouse thing that they got going on. Fancy McDonald's, go over here. But the more standard order for me is probably double cheeseburger, large fries, large coke, 10 nuggets, sweet and sour sauce. Oh, that is a good time. I was going to criticize you because the double cheeseburger is the cowards, double-quarter pounder.

No, you can... But if you got nuggets there as well, then yeah, you live in the dream. Yeah, and the other problem is if I were to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get the the the to get the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their well, then yeah, you live in the dream. Yeah, and the other problem is if I were to get like a McChican, I like a McChican. I think a McChican is good. Nothing wrong with the McChican. Nothing wrong with the McChicken. And the crispy chicken the c getting myself a big crispy chicken burger, then it feels like too much to get nuggets as well because they're just more.

That is too much. Yeah, that would be the same thing to do. You need to get the beef nuggets if that's what you're doing. Yep. Give me tell of those beef nuggets. Also, sometimes the double cheeseburger is interchangeable with the bacon double cheeseburger. The barbecue bacon double cheeseburger. Is that a McDouble? That's what we have a McDouble here.

I assume it's a double cheeseburger. I think the double cheeseburger. I think the double cheeseburger. I think the mcdouble is different to the double cheeseburger for some reason. But there was like, I think I was talked about about the the the the the m ma the the the ma the ma the ma the madoadoadoadoadoadoadoadoadoadoadoadoadoadoadoadoadoing about the the the the the the the McDouble is different to the double cheeseburger for some reason. But there was like, I think I was talking about this other podcast before, but the McDouble was like two dollars for like three years in Australia. It's so cheap. It was the fucking best.

It's so many. It's like a dollar here. It's insane. is, it does, it does sound like a, so McDouble is a classic double burger, the McDouble stacks two pure beef patties season with just a pinch of salt and pepper, tangy pickles, chopped onions, ketchup, mustard slice of meld. That sounds a lot like just the double cheeseburger. You might get two slices of cheese on the double cheese burger. Man, this is my, Google has auto completed McDouble versus double cheeseburger for me. The only discernible difference at all

is the amount of cheese in each. Yeah, he's fucking got it. Towing one and the double cheeseburger backing two. Oh, but the McDouble is so cheap and if I was eating meat it is it is a great burger. That's a quality burger. You would be. You would be lying if you were like, oh no, it's disgusting. Eat it. You can't deny it. This is the perfect flavor ballads of every flavor mostly salt. Whereas, they have those, they have those banners up that are like, come on through and fuck up your burger by putting like a little patty on it. I used to do that a lot as well. Get them double with one extra patty. That's th. T th. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the th. the the th. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. th. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. the the th. th. the the th. the th. that a lot as well. Get a McDouble with one extra patty. That's 90 cents extra. Two bucks 90. I'm eating a triple fucking cheeseburger, bro. I see my take is that they have worked carefully to balance the proportions of these burgers. And like they have on the poster like a McChicin with two McChican patty's on it, fuck that. No, that's... The strength of the McChican is the crispness of the lettuce

and the power of the mayonnaise. You don't want to overpower those two other fresh elements. Double chicken. And then you got like a picture of a Big Mac with like another patty on it. I don't know if anybody else has ever done the thing where you go in and say like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, and to to to to to to to to to to the, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, just to see what's going to happen, like three patties or whatever the fuck. Yeah, we've all smoked Wade before, man. Yeah, and at McDonald's, in my experience, this turns into a mouthful that is just like meat paste. There is just too much of that low quality of McDonald's meat going on in there. Whereas in something like a McDouble, get you th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thine th. th. thine thine thine thine thine, thine, thine, thine, thine, thine, thine, thine, thine, thine, thine, th. th, thin, and thin, thin, th, th, th, th, th, thine, thine, and thine, and thine, and th. Yeah, and th. Yeah, and th. Yeah, and th. Yeah, and th. Yeah, and th. Yeah, and th. Yeah, and th. Yeah, and th. Yeah, and th. Yeah, and th. Yeah, and th. Yeah, and th. th. th. thin. thin. thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, the, the, thin, thee. We'll thin, theeat, theat, thin, th. We'll th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. on in there. Whereas in something like a McDouble, get your two patties and all your pickles and all that sort of stuff. But it's not gigantic.

It's not a huge menacing thing. Yes, it's very greasy, but it's like cheeseburger you know? And then you balance that out with your 10 nuggets with your nice tangy vinegary sweet and sour sauce. And sweet and sour sauce is the the correct. It is to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the ti. ttax ttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttc. ttc. the the the the the the the the your nice tangy vinegary sweet and sour sauce and sweet and sour sauce is the correct source to order with your nuggets and then you wash you wash down those mouthfuls with your big icy cup of coke not a fucking chocolate shake that's madness okay well well that seems like a cruel attack on me can I want to back to backtrack a little bit. Well, hold on, just before we move on.

I'll say one last thing. Oh, I'm not moving on from McDonald's. To me, a large shake is the to mea to a meal amount of food. Like Theo drinking a soyland. You can't have a large shake. to have a large shake with like a quarter pound of meal. I'll have a medium. Crazy.

But I think that's what I like about the fig shake is the consistency forces you to have it slowly, to savor it, to let it reach room temperature. Okay, so say you're talking about adding an extra patty to a Big Mac, or a Big Mac, or a Big Mac even, where are you putting?????? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I the the th. I th. I the that? I that. I th. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I, I, I, I, I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I? I? I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. I tha. I tha. I tha. I a Big Mac even, where are you putting that extra batty? Because I hate, I hate the idea of there being two patties, the bread subdivision and then one patty. That is driving me insane thinking about it. Yeah, well you got to, you got to order it special and get them to split the middle patting instead. Can you get a samurai sword from out the back and perfectly split this beef pay? Listen you fucking 14 year old piece of shit.

Getting paid legally the lowest you possibly can in Australia. 14 and 9 months baby. Lucy when I used to go to Erindale College in Canada,, which is the College for Pieces of Shit and people who will go on to be arrested for public urination and then get thrown off the Camber Raiders. That's about right. Actually happened to a guy in my year. He was in the talented sports program of Erindale College, which was like the feeder system to NRL kind of stuff. And then a year or two later I saw a news story that was like this guy pissing publicly in Kings Cross and getting thrown off the Raiders.

Was he like a start of the Raiders or? Doesn't he just, hmm, because that makes a huge difference to me. But go on. His name was Nathan Smith. No. It's like the name of I'm going to say maybe 70 at her all place. But anyway, it was right across the street from McDonald's and when you have no money and also are a teenager and you smoke weed a lot, you gotta do what you can with your cash. So I would go and get myself the classic back when it was a 30 cent cone. I remember the 30 cent cone. They made it 30 cents again, like a couple years ago, didn't they? After public outcry.

Not anymore. No. And then what you do is you get yourself a napkin and then you get yourself some sachets of sugar and you sprinkle them all over your napkin and then you roll your ice cream around in the granulated sugar and that's a nice little ice cream treat for you right there. Oh boy. They don't charge you for the sugar, Lucy, or the napkin. Uh-huh. Sounds so good.

That's a life hack. That's a little. That is a life hack. How do we get here? This is the ShakeShack Curse. Welcome to Buntavista, the podcast where we talk about what kind of diarrhea you will get from the the the the the the the the thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thu, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, thu, or, thu, or, thu, or, thu, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thoua, thiiiiiiiiiiiii, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, Curse, folks. Welcome to Buntavista, the podcast where we talk about what kind of diarrhea you will get from your fast food order. It's okay, it's a bonus episode, so this is fun. It's free.

I've had like three Celtses, which is crazy over here. I'm wilding out over here. I'm wilding out of here. Ben, sorry, Ben, Ben, Ben, sorry, Ben, th, Ben, Ben, Ben, th, th, th, Ben, th, th, th, th, Ben, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. Ben, th, th, th, th. Ben, th. Ben, th. Ben, th. Ben, th. Ben, th. Ben, th, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, th, th, th. Ben, th. Ben, th. Ben, th, th. Ben, th. Ben, th. Ben, th. Ben, th. Ben, th. Ben, Ben, th. Ben, th. Ben, th. Ben, th. Ben, th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. that's, it's, it's thi. that's that's thi. thi. thi photography class at Aronel College, Mason Smith, former professional rugby league footballer, played for the Canber Raiders and the Penrith Panthers as a second row or lock, whatever that is. He played second row and center, made his first grade debut for Canberra against the North Queensland Cowboys in 2004. My boys. In his first season debut for Camber against the North Queensland Cowboys in 2004. In his first season at Penrith he played 24 games to the club and they finished last on the table and claimed the wooden spoon. He created headlines in the 2008 NRL season

for reneging on a contract with the Canberra Raiders for 2009, fucking dog and resigning with Penrith. The Raiders took legal action against Smith and the Panthers breach of contract, albeit unsuccessfully. There you go. No mention of the piss, the piss stuff? No, not seen anything about the piss. Go on. Yeah, so I'm sure you're all dying to know how this story even got out if it was based on absolutely nothing. Well, luckily, the New York Post has also got this covered. A lieutenant, or left tenant, as people from Britain would love to say, from the Bronx Blastdown email to the unions that six cops started throwing up after drinking beverages they got from Shake Shack on 200 Broadway. So six cops? No.

Started throwing up. No. Great. It is unclear why the sergeant and left it. Oh God, Lieutenant escalated the situation. Detectives easily closed the case after interviewing five employees and reviewing surveillance footage showing the shakes were made normally, sources said. The machine was cleaned before the officers ordered according to sources

and it still contained residual milkstone remover, a typically acidic solution used to combat build-up in deer equipment. So that milkstone remover is generally phosphoric acid, which sounds bad but also is one of the key ingredients in Coke. Delicious Coke. What you order with your McDouble? The only reason that I know that is some friends of ours with a brewery tried to make a beer that tasted basically exactly like out of the bottle Coca-Cola, and the amount of phosphoric acid they had to pour into it looked fucking terrifying. But you can drink it, it's okay. Just don't drink a lot, it'll make you sick. But by 1045 PM, the Detective's Endowment Association- Assofors, you're a cop, it'll make you sad. Yeah, it'll give you, I don't know, a panic attack maybe.

The Detective's Endowment Association was declaring that finest, oh, as in police, had become ill after being, quote, intentionally poisoned by one or more workers at the Shake Shack, as police benevolent association President Pat Lynch made a show of visiting Bellevue while his union declared at 1047 PM that officers came, quote, under attack from a, quote, toxic substance, believed to be bleach. Oh my God. It's such babies. It's such babies. The people who were responsible for shooting people constantly and clubbing them and everything

like to take absolutely anything and refer to it as like being under attack. My milkshake tasted bad. It's bleach. That's a form of terrorism. So like, even after this was thoroughly disputed everywhere, the Detectors of Downman Association put out this statement the day after, saying, oh God, I hate this so much, it makes me so mad. Although the investigation is still ongoing at this point, NYPD, investigators have found, quote, no criminality in how these officers got sick. They didn't. I love that they can't that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th that th th that th th th th th th th th th th th th that that th that that that that that thate th that that that thate thate thate thate their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. Uh th. Uh th. Uh th. Uh th. Uh, uh th. Uh, uh th. Uh, th. Uh, that that that that that that that that that that that, that, that thate, thate, thate, thate, thateateateate. thate. thate. thate. that how these officers got sick. They did. I love that they can't just say like this was

absolute bullshit from the upstream whatever. Yeah and they still say that they got sick I don't fucking understand that. Even though yeah they said straight up that they didn't get sick. And then at the next sentence is also infuriating. Initially it was reported that whatever toxic substance made the officers ill was intentionally in place in their drinks. You reported it, there was no toxic substance and they didn't get sick? Oh, my fucking God. They were lucky to survive.

The DEA put out the statement, unbelievable. Oh, the detective's endowment association, not the DEA. Oh, right. Drug enforcement aid? No, what is that one? No, you're right. Drug enforcement, I don't think. Mm-hmm.

We want to thank all NYPD personnel who responded efficiently to this potentially disastrous situation. Thank you to Shake, the full and timely cooperation. The fact, the fact, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that tha, tha, that's that, that's that, that, their that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's tho, that, that, that, that, that, their their their their their their their their that, their their that, their their that, their their their their thateauiiaugh, their, their, their thate, that, their, fact remains, please stay vigilant, stay safe, and always be aware of your surroundings. What fact? What is the fact that remains here? Which fact remains? Stay vigilant? I too would like to frequently say the fact remains as an entire sentence. The fact remains. And there we go. This is what police officers are doing when you report a sexual assault and they tell you that they'll call you back they're they're so busy. They're just the first instinct is to fucking lie about everything and really transparently. Just make shit up completely. Yeah they say

look lady I'm really busy right now okay I'm gonna get to this when I can get to it. We have a lot of investigations going on. Yeah, they hang up the phone and they're like, this tastes weird. My cherry shake tastes weird, not because of the disgusting flavor that I've chosen. My rank milk drink tastes weird. My disgusting, and drink taste disgusting and Antifa probably poisoned me. Can you guys think of any reason why my medicine milk drink tastes funny? So this is, I mean obviously cops just lying up, making up stuff and then closing ranks around each other is not an isolated incident but also pretending that your food has been tabid with in

the last like two weeks has not been an isolated incident so there's another thing that sort of popped up like two days ago when a Fox News investigative reporter called Bill we're gonna pronounce that Melugent Mellugin sorry you want to where are we where are we we going to pronounce that? Melogian. Melugin. Sorry? Where are we? Where are we saying this? I'll say Bill Meligan.

Belugin. Bill Mulligan, I'm going to say. We're going to call him Bill Mulligan. He tweeted this. Bill Mod. Burtz. Breaking. All caps.

the Okay. Ha ha. Sources tell me an off-duty LAPD officer allegedly found a tampon halfway through his Frappuccino at a Starbucks in Diamond Bar on Friday. I'm told he used his police credit union debit card. Sheriff's Department confirms they took a report and they're now investigating and it was accompanied by this truly tremendous piece of photographic evidence which you my fellow podcasters can look at the listener just Google Starbucks diamond bar tampon Frappuccino don't worry I can describe it for you don't I wish you wouldn't what I don't know how to describe this it's not a tampon I'll say that much I think it is a moths cocoon imagine Imagine that you have stumbled upon a time machine.

Okay, you are stepping into the time machine and you program into it 1997. You travel directly to 1997 and you do the first thing anyone would do. Buy tickets for an Annie DeFranco concert. You travel to the Annie DeFranco concert. You've become very uncomfortable as you remember how many of the songs are about describing a rape. But hey, that's her right to do her songs in her art that way. You should probably just stay quiet about it while you're there. But your time is running out and you realize you have you have you have you have you have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have to have have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have the to have to have to to to to to to to to to to the to to to their their to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thoea.a.auuia.auia.a.a.a.a.a. the the the the the the the the You should probably just stay quiet about it while you're there. But your time is running out and you realize you

have to bring some evidence back with you and what's nearby but the dreadlocks of a white lady standing directly in front of you, you decide to snip off a six-inch length of the grossest, blondeundest dreadlock that you've seen in some time. You take it back in the time machine, nobody knows what the fuck you are talking about. Embarrassed, you put it into the cup that you are currently preparing for a Starbucks show for an LA police officer. Oh, that was truly impressive, thank you. Yeah, who needs one photo where we could have this beautiful word picture? Very graphic. Well, I don't know if you know this, but it's an audio format.

That is certainly true. I, yeah, I don't claim to be some sort of tampon expert. I just don't feel like... I do. I do. Fair enough. I don't feel like what he has redged up out of his Frappuccino is what it would look like if he put a tampon in a Frappuccino. Now I said something about this on Twitter. I said something to the effect of. I am a tampon expert, comma. I believe I posted this picture and said, I also think that this is what a tampon looks like.

And an American replied and said, yes, we did a science experiment thing in school where they took a tampon, separated it from its applicator, and then like pulled all the edges out and everything and then soaked it in some blue liquid. I don't know why they were doing a tampon commercial at this poor person's school. But like, yeah, the fact that like you would have to take one and like put it through a washing machine or like hit it with a high pressure hose or something.

They do have some weird tampons here, but I don't think this is what it looks like. The applicator thing is just weird. It's very uncomfortable. First time I got, I bought tampons here, I was very confused. Real sitcom scenario where I pulled it out and it was like a foot long. So what you do is you take the tampon and you load it into this tampon gun. Oh, it's already loaded into the tampon gun. It's loaded into the tampon gun which you then shoot inside your vagina.

Sounds cool. But anyway, this one looks a lot more like somebody gave a haircut to the dog from the odolay cover. What the fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun is is is I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I th. I th. I th is th is th is th is th is th. I th. I th. I th. I was like I was like I was like I'm th. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I th. I th. I th. I the the the the th. I th. I'm th. I'm th. th. th. th. I'm th. th. th. I'm the. I'm thooooooo. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm from the odolet cover. I've got to, I've just, I had no idea what a tampon applicator looks like. So I have gone to type in tampon and the first thing Google has tried to auto complete is gun. Okay, okay, what are we getting back from that? Why? I don't get it. I assume it's because Americans are so prudish that they don't th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th is th. I'm th. tape. th. I'm tape. I'm tap on th. I'm th. I'm the the their tapon. I'm tapon. I'm tapon. I'm tapon. I tapon. I their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their taped. I taped. I tape. I tape. I tape. I tapon. I tapon. I tapon. I tapon. I tapon. I tapon. I tapon. I tapon. I tapon. I tapon. I tapon. I tapon. I tapon. I tapon. I tapon that they don't ever want to touch their own vaginas. Yeah, pretty much. Making a Nerf gun that shoots tampons. Yeah. The tamp-gon, this tampon gun won't cramp your style. How to build the tampon gun. Oh my goodness.

Supersonic tampon gun. guide. Of course. Finally, and this is to basically make like a nerf gun style thing that fires tampons, right? Finally, there's a way to get rid of those applicatorless tampons that literally no one uses. Just everyone in every other country, but go ahead. You poor motherfuckers. Imagine if you accidentally bumped up against your own pussy. Oh! Yeah, disgusting! other country but go ahead. You poor motherfuckers. Imagine if you accidentally bumped up against your own pussy. Yeah, disgusting. Oh damn. Lucy, I appear to have found something that it's exactly for you. It is a tampon gun that is metallic purple and exactly in the shape of Han Solo's DL 44 Blaster.

It's so much thin you've ever said to me. Just those are the other things that I know that you're interested in Star Wars and Periods. Getting my husband to put on a black waistcoat and help me apply my tip on. Oh boy. Stand back there. Um, I'm gonna, I'm gonna accuse you of some stuff and then you shoot first. Oh look you made a Star Wars joke. Oh my god. That was for Lucy.

Can we just move straight on into the cop tampon story? I don't like this. Oh you haven't heard enough about tampons? Okay. So we've made our point maybe that it doesn't look like a tampon. Who fucking knows? It could be some weird American shit. Even in America, it doesn't look like a tampon. So the whole contention that they're making is that this off-duty police officer, who was not in uniform,

went into a Starbucks, and the person the person that that that that he was a police officer from his police credit union credit card. Somehow if you've been in a Starbucks you realize they don't have like a secret room they go to to prepare the drinks. They like in front of them managed to like pull out and shove a tampon into his Frappuccino. I'll see the Frappino. Looking at a credit card? Like, where did this credit card come from?

That gets even weirder. I'm imagining that. I'm imagining like the scene from Now You See Me, where they have to do a lot of sleight of hands to sneak something into the place. It was one of the worst scenes in any movie I've ever seen, that was exhausting to watch. Except that it's for a Starbucks employee taking out their own tampon and palming it into a drink while the person standing right in front of them. And throwing it and bouncing it off the wall. Yeah. It's perfectly glancing it into the drink. Yeah.

So, this is the only logical exclamation. This played out essentially the same way as the Shake Shack incident where there was a weird, unsubstantiated claim and then a police union ran with it. So the Los Angeles Police Protective League issued this statement. This disgusting assault on a police officer was carried out by someone with hatred in their heart and who lacks human decency. We hope that they are publicly exposed, fired, arrested, and prosecuted for their cowardly and repugnant actions from Hell's Heart we stab at them. That the last one was, I made that up,

they didn't put that in there. Oh my god. It doesn't, it's not like super encouraging from the perspective of the whole like, what th, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it's, it, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, to to to to to to to to to to to the perspective of the whole like what do you call it's innocent until proven guilty part of the law? Doesn't really... We hope we can crush you. Yeah it doesn't really give you a lot of confidence that cops as an institution like approach situations objectively it's more along the lines of like if we have even the slightest reason to suspect That you would ever do anything To to a little bit mean to us to give a cop a tomorrow then we will fucking destroy it will destroy you so the the guy that was covering this right is

Bill Mulligan the Fox News investigative journalist Was sort of live tweeting his process of going through this. And he realized, you know, in light of recent events he should be taking this particularly seriously. He put this update out. And yes, I'm aware of the Shakehack hoax. That's why I spent all evening working with multiple independent sources, and this

didn't come from the Union. A police report has been filed, LASee video, and if the officer made it up, that's filing a false report. That's criminal. Oh, for sure. I bet those cops are going to get into lots of trouble. To his credit, he was taking this very, very seriously. I have spoken to at least three police who have informed me that they are dead and ghosts now. After he posted his first couple updates about it saying that he'd reached out to ShakeShack for a comment, he really actually started to dig deep. He put this update up. Update, we've since learned that because this Starbucks is a licensee location inside a target,

they're technically target employees. When we called the target, a female employee said she was aware of the instant Starbucks falling up with this in the morning. So he managed to figure out who they work for. A couple hours later, well done. So Target ended up looking into this. They looked into the security footage. They said they didn't notice any suspicious behavior. And, like on top of that, the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. th. th. th. thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their, their, their, their, their, their instant, their instant, their instant, their instant, their instant, their instant, their, their, their, th. So, th. So, th. So, thi. So, thi. We. We. We. T thi. We. I, thi. We. We. I. I. We. I was, th. Wea. Wea. Wea. Wea. Wea. Wea. Wea. Wea. It's, toge. Wea. It's, tea. So, th. So, th. So, th.top of that, so the whole thing about the police union credit card thing being the sole way they would identify as police officer doesn't really make sense because as there

was a great motherboard article about this on vice, they pointed out that since coronavirus Starbucks employees don't touch cards at all anymore. There's like a plexiglass sort of window thing between them and the customer. So the customer is the one tapping their card on the thing or swiping it or whatever. So they don't see that at all. So that doesn't make any fucking sense. They, uh, the motherboard also did some tests about whether putting a tampon in a Frappuccino would make it look like that. The answer was no, but there was a really, really, really fucking great paragraph in this story that is so unbelievably vice to me.

In order to see if the cop story was even remotely plausible, Motherboard performed a science experiment. Hariktola, a researcher at Bellingkat, an organization which analyzes open source media and has, for, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the their their their tape, tape, tape, tape, tapol-a, tapol-upon, tapol-up look tape, tape, t, tape, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape.au.au.au.au.au.au.au.au.au.au.au.au.au an an an an an a researcher at Bellingcat, an organization which analyzes open source media and has, for example, exposed the use of chemical weapons in Syria by studying video and photographic evidence, suggested in the evidence of, in the interest of rigour, that we buy 10 Frappuccinos and ten different types of tampons. Given the fact that we were biking and did not want to spend a fortune, we instead decided to try one Frappuccino or one tampon. It's so good to be like, we reached out to some proper investigative journalists who said we should do it this way. I only had my fixie, so I couldn't.

My fixie and the tampon that I already had in, so let's go. Oh boy. So we've now got copies of that Los Angeles Sheriff's Department incident report with the name of the officer redacted. So this is their version of events, right? At approximately 14, 30 hours, the officer entered the Starbucks coffee located inside of Target. The officer stated he ordered two drinks from a Starbucks employee. He described the employee as a female white adult approximately 5'7, 140 pounds. A woman? Ugh.

Disgustion. Guilty! That's right. He said he could not remember her name. After the completion of his order, he stated he removed his credit card from the back of his phone case which additionally had his police department identification card in it. He stated the credit card he paid with also had significant features that would imply he was a police officer on the front of it. The officer stated he walked to the bathroom while he was

waiting for his order to be completed and returned shortly later. Upon his arrival back to the counter, he observed the suspect completing the drink, which was ordered for himself, and she proceeded to begin making the second drink. The suspect. Once both drinks were completed, the officer stated the suspect handed him the drinks and he exited the store. So what they're saying is that he saw the drink he was not going to drink, being prepared, but he didn't see the drink he was going to drink being prepared, right? Because he walked away.

And she just whipped it out of, I assume she took it straight out of her vagina in this fantasy scenario. No one seems to making assertions about whether it was a used or unused temple. Whether it was a freshie, I'm assuming that he went to the bathroom and she immediately said, hey, everyone, there's, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there's, there's, there was a freaky, I'm assuming that he went to the bathroom and she immediately said, hey everyone, there's a dirty fucking pig in the bathroom and I'm going to put my soil tampon in his drink. And then the whole crowd was like, yay! Yay! Yeah. Fuck the guy!

I also believe that was the series of events, but the way it went down was, hey, there's a dirty fucking pig here who ordered two drinks. I'm going to flip a coin and guess which one is his and then put a tab on it. It's very strange. While in his vehicle, the officer began to drink his coffee, he stated he immediately began to taste a furry slash cloth substance inside of his mouth. What does fur taste like? What does fur in this taste taste taste taste taste taste taste taste taste taste taste taste taste taste taste taste taste taste taste taste taste taste taste taste taste taste taste tase taste tas tas taste like? What does furiness taste like? Well I don't really get how like if somebody did whack something like that into your

into your drink, right? I feel like you might see it. Well again as the tampon expert of this podcast. I feel like you would you would put it into a drink it would absorb a certain amount of the fluid and then just hold together as one piece. Imagine if you inserted a tampon and then it just immediately started to disintegrate on contact with liquid. I feel like that would be an inferior quality tampon, right? I would be damn, this is a bad quality tampon. Damn, this thing is just like shedding fur the whole time and also it's just all coming to pieces. I feel like that would be a bad tampon experience.

So he says he tasted a furry cloth substance. So not necessarily that parts of it got into his mouth, it's that it infused a sort of clothiness into the flavor of the Frappuccino. Into the drink, all right, that's ridiculous. So you're being ridiculous. A tampon infused beverage, that flavor we all recognize. It tastes like tampon. It's not even like, I tasted like the coppery taste of menstrual blood in my drink.

It's, I tasted, I tasted the taste of like, a flavor I know in love. Like a fluffy cotton type material. Not, I didn't get the sensation of it because none of it was coming up the straw. And also I'm not saying that there was any like biological material in there. Just, I just tasted like it. I tasted the sensation of. And yet again, you're an officer of the law and you're like, you know what I'm going to get for my lunch, a fucking frapp. From a Target Starbucks, you've had to go inside a the the the the the the the the thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi. to thi. a fucking Frappuccino. From a Target Starbucks you've had to go inside a Target to get this Starbucks to. It's gonna beer at lunchtime like everyone else you know.

Have a couple of scooters and then get behind the wheel of your cop car. Well apparently all these fucking milkshakes and Frappuccinos are making them go crazy, you know. Exactly. Time to try something different. Let's have a drug cops. Let's have a moratorium on sugary drinks for police because I think that they're all just hopped up. Itching to, itching to accuse someone of something, you know, they're all hyper. You've got diarrhea.

You don't need that much milk. Milde thi pep. got diarrhea, you don't need that much milk, milk is not a meal. Have some peppermint tea and calm the fuck down, you know? Not me though, it gives me indigestion. Very sad about it still. There is some more to this here. There is some more to taste blah blah blah blah blah. The officer stated he immediately removed it from his mouth, opened up the coffee cup, and began to record with his phone.

The officer provided me with a copy to the video recording and I observed the following. The officer removes multiple pieces of a furry cloth substance, which appears to be mixed into his coffee. The officer stated he left the drink inside of his vehicle and continued to proceed with his day. When he returned approximately four hours later, he began examining the drink again. Weird. He proceeded to record with his phone for a second time and later removed a long tubular furry slash cloth-shaped object which was inside of his drink. The officer stated he

believed it to possibly be a woman's tampon. The officer stated he believes the suspect recognized he was a police officer and intentionally placed the object inside of his drink to try and poison him with tampon poisoning. Classic classic classic. Remember all those Sherlock Holmes books that ended? He's been tampon poisoned. The most subtle poison t Sherlock Holmes books that ended. He's been tampon poisoned. The most subtle poison in the world. Tampon poisoning on the Orient Express you know. He stated he had not currently felt any type of pain or discomfort from possibly ingesting the substance. He additionally stated he had not

sought any medical attention because he had not felt the need to. So, so once again, the the today. the the most toy. the most, the most, the most subtle, the the most subtle, the most, the most subtle, the most, the most, the most subtle, the most, the most subtle, the most subtle, the most, the most, the most, the most subtle, the most subtle, the most, the most, the most, the most, the most, the most subtle, the most subtle, the most, the most, the most, the most, the most, the most, the most. The most. The most, the most. The most, the most. The most, the most. The most, the most. The most. The most. The most. The most. The most. The most. toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. t. t. ttt. ttttttto. to. to. tt. t. t. tip. tip. tip. tape. tape. to. tape. t. to. tape. to. the. t. the. t from possibly ingesting the substance, he additionally stated he had not sought any medical attention because he had not felt the need to. So once again, I am completely fined and unharmed, but I do think that we should take this person to Guantanamo back. This, look, in defense of all this, as preposterous as it sounds, I did find another bit of the sheriff's report that does indicate thiiiiiiiiiiiii, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, he had thi, he had that, that, he had thi, he had that he had not that he had not that he had not that he had that he had that he had that he that he that he that he that he that he that he that he that he, he that he, he th, he, he th, he th, he to, he to, he to, he th, he to, he to, th, he th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. thi, that, thin, thin, that, that, that, thin, that that thean, thin, that, that, had not to that, to that, thosterous as it sounds, I did find another bit of the sheriff's report that does indicate maybe that it would be very obvious that this person was a cop even if they weren't wearing a police uniform. You talk about the hair cut? It's better than that. Tell about the haircut and the tiny eyes.

This is the, the person making the report for the Sheriff's Department saying after they viewed the surveillance footage, Deputy Name Redacted, tolm me the victim on the video footage was the male wearing a pink polo shirt and light coloured shorts who appeared at around 1433 hours. He was wearing the artificial non-uniform uniform of the police. I'm going to tamp on poison this undercover cop. Or maybe the other person he was with. I still can't get over that. It was two drinks.

Did she just like? I can't. Yeah. So before we move on from this, I guess the question that I find myself asking here is one that was alluded to by Mr Mulligan, the reporter, which I guess,, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I the, I guess, I guess, I guess, I guess, I guess, I guess, I guess, I guess, I guess, I guess, I guess, I guess, I guess, one that was alluded to by Mr. Mulligan, the reporter, which I guess like he made vague reference to by saying, yes, I'm aware of this other incident where it turned out that it wasn't deliberate and the cop just made it up, but I'm still following this thing up.

How many individual incidents do we have to have of a cop, you know, a cop accusing like somebody at McDonald's of a crime? I have a little crime, just making up a crime accusation. It's fine if you're a cup. Well yeah, remember the thing about the cop who was like, hey, I got back to the station with my drive-through and someone had taken a bite out of my burger. So I went back down there and I yelled at the the the the the the the the the the the cop the cop the cop the cop the cop the cop the cop the cop the cop the cop the cop the cop the cop the cop the cop the cop the cop the cop, the cop, the cop, you the cop, you the cop, you the cop, you the cop, you the cop, you the cop, you the cop, you the cop, you the cop, you the cop, you the cop, you the cop, you the cop, you the cop, you the cop, you the cop, you the cop, you the cop, you the cop, you the cop, you the cop, you the cop, the cop, the cop, the cop, the cop, the cop, the cop, the cop, the cop, the cop, the cop, the cop, the cop, the cop, the cop, the cop, the cop, the cop, the cop, the cop, the cop, the cop, the cop, the cop, the cop, the cop, the cop, the cop, the cop, the cop, the cop, the cop, the to the station with my drive-through and someone had taken a bite out of my burger. So I went back down there and I yelled at them and I got the other cops to yell at them and the cops investigated the whole thing and then they looked at some footage where they saw the footage of me taking a bite out of my burger and putting it back in the bag. And I went, oh yeah, I forgot I took a bit. investigation and it turned out that no one was guilty. It's fine. And obviously there are the usual issues like cops investigating cops nobody ever actually

say gets fired for fucking forgetting that they just can buy it out of their America and trying to destroy somebody else's life as a result because this this is another thing to consider here is that there are like there are laws in places like America. I'm sure that there are things in in in in different the the the their in in in in their their their their their their parts parts parts parts parts parts parts parts parts parts parts parts in in in their their their their their their their their their their their. th. th. th. th. th. th. C. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I thi. C. I thi. C. I thi. C. I thi. I thi. I. I. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. th. th. th. th. th. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. I. I. I. I. I'm. their. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. th. I'm. I'm. I'm. te. I'm. te. te. te. their. their. their. their. their. their. there are like there are laws in places like America I'm sure that there are things in in different parts of Australia but there are laws in different places that are like if you do something that has seen to be an assault on a police officer specifically then you will get a harsher punishment than if it was just on a normal piece of shit person you've done it to a real hero, real American hero cop.

So I don't know how many of these incidents that you have to have in which a cop says, hey, somebody tried to kill me with a tampon, and then you say, oh, it turns out that nothing happened at all, and in a lot of cases, completely made up. Before the media stops entertaining the notion? Like it makes me think of, makes think of the way I saw a headline phrase recently which was, in the midst of all these protests, a pattern is emerging.

What the police say happens during incidents is often at odds with the evidence of recorded video footage. Like, they don't say like, hey, the, like, hey, the, that, like, that, like, thi, thi, thi, like, thi, like, thi, like, thi, thi, like, like, like, thi, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, thi, thi, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like th, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the, thi, thi, thi, thi, the, thi, the, the, the, the, the, the, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, th., th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the evidence of recorded video footage. Like they don't say like, hey the police keep getting caught lying about the interactions that they are having with people and the violence they are inflicting on people. Like the like the 75 year old guy who got like pushed over and split his head open, got like a big old brain bleed from those cops. And then they put out a press, like, the thing that made everybody freak out about it was watching the fucking footage of it happen.

Millions of times across the world, and they went, ah, let's calm all of this down by putting out a press release where they say that he tripped and fell. It's like, you know the reason we're talking about this is because we all watched you push him over and give him a fucking brain injury. So I just don't know how many of these incidents you have to see before the press start reporting this stuff as, hey, yet another incident where the police have lied about being poisoned by a member of the public. Or yet another incident where the police police the police the police the police the police the police the police the police the police the police the police the police the police the police the police the police the police the police the police the police have lied about being poisoned by a member of the public, or yet another incident where the police try to have a member of the public punished for like an unsatisfactory service incident, you know? Who could say? Who could say?

Not us, that's for sure, that's not what we're here for. We've got to get those men's rights activists that hate false accusations. It's your time to shine, buddies. Come on into the movement. There's a lot of false accusations out there. That's right. And we are, we have gone along here. I think we have, I think we have five minutes for one more thing because these police, they're false accusations. They're just real sickos. You know who else's sickos? The French. Okay, well, technically these are not the French. But they're close enough that it stands.

Oh, I thought that were French. My apologies to, no, I'm not going to apologize to the French. Well, I mean, you could apologize to me for not properly reading the notes but you don't gonna do that either so that's fine. No I'm not. In this tweet from Joan Helsin on Twitter they've taken a picture of a packaging display and said it's 2020 and this is what passes for cool with candy maker Mondew and the folks at Sobeys. Quote, Sweet 16 16, barely legal levels of sweet thus. Oh, oh no. I'm going to say maybe categorically the single worst slogan for anything I have ever seen in my entire life. It's pretty bad.

And this is like I realize that this is a terrible distinction to make, right? No, no. But, no, no, this is why I'm saying it's even worse than it appears on first glance. Is that the concept of barely legal as it applies to pornography, as it applies to, I think it was maybe Penthouse that originated the term, applies to a girl who has just turned 18, making her legally eligible for pornography. They've applied the barely legal tagline to the to the product name Sweet 16.

Oh, oh no. It's even worse. It's even worse. What have you done here? Disgusting. Oh, oh, no. It's even worse. It's even worse. What have you done here? Disgusting. Oh, shame on you. Europeans, just terrible people. Still not European either. Ben, I hope you are also going to take Lucy to task for not reading the words.

Well, Lucy's been very busy, so I don't understand. Um, this how to understand. This comes to us by way of French Canadians the biggest pervert. Oh my god that's even worse. Sorry I apologize to your room. In a statement from Mondu, I'm saying Mondu. Yeah, I think that's right maybe. It is not, it is not Montieu. As in my God. Yeah. It is M-O-N-D-O-U-X, one word. And in a statement they put out it says,

we have been pulling all of our... After a great start. Don't know where you going with this. Are you German? Sorry, I only just decided to do the French accent. We have been pulling all of our displays that use this sentence. We are extremely sorry about this situation as it was, never are intense to advertise it in such a way. Emphasis there is I would like to point out. Never! Never!

Never! We are a French-speaking company company and had emphasis is theirs I would like to point out. Never, never. Never. We are a French-speaking company and had our displays very poorly translated. Very poorly translated to date, but we'll get to that. I... I... Okay, it was a terrible mistake on our part and we are appalled by this situation. We are French Canadian, we are not French. We take this very seriously and you will never see this happen again. We are a candy company

and our aim is to make people happy. Once we realize the connotation of the French of the English sentence, we immediately started to remove these displays from stores. Thank you so much for caring. Please believe that we are extremely sorry and this will never happen again. I'm just trying to think of any possible translation. All right so that's what people asked them right? They were like, what's it at the start? Yeah, what could it have possibly been? Mm-hmm. Fuller, Vukushche of Begmue. I believe the couchet of big me. I believe that was it. They said like in on their Twitter account they're sort of madly doing damage control or whatever and they they say that the original the French Canadian slogan for the project is like, uh,

avek on classic to trump bar something like that. It brings like roughly with a classic you can't go wrong and then someone was like, wait a second, how is this a midst of translation? How do you get from with a classic you can't go wrong to barely legal levels of sweetness? And then they put out another statement. The original French sentence for this display is, Avaun Classique to Trompar. We realize now that it's being explained to us that the English sentence is horrifying

and has nothing to do with the French one. Oh no. It's not just a poor translation. Hmm. They, whoever they paid, their English marketing team has just gone rogue. And been like, you know what? it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just thi, it's just thi, it's thi, it's thi, it's thi, we thi, we thi, we thi, we's thi, we's thi, we's, we's, it's th. It's, it's, it's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's thi, it's thi, it's just thi, it's just thi, thi, thi, thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi to paid, their English marketing team has just gone rogue and been like, you know what, it's just something a bit stale about that other one. What if we add pedophilia into the mix? And they've just been like, yeah, that sounds great.

Because they're European. Just too. Because they're North American Europeans. That's right. The worse combination. Middle of a horrible Venn diagram, the sticky butt-hole at the middle of those two overlapping cheeks. Not too cast any aspersions, but I noticed that they managed to put out all of their statements explaining that they don't speak English in English. What if it's the same PR company running their Twitter account?

I'm pretty sure French Canadians in Canada can speak English Very Canadian part very fluently Oh, goodness Very silly stuff, but what a sweet note to end on So sweet so it's so sweet. It's barely legal. That's what I'd say You know that common thing we all say all the time. I say this, I've been saying this. I should be imprisoned for statutory eating of candy. No. We don't we don't have to make any jokes about this one. No, well this is the thing. There is basically no way to make

an not really bad version of this. It's pretty bad. It's pretty surprising nobody caught it. So there go folks, please give your support or direct all of your anger to the good people at Mondu from Quebec. My goodness. Well that is more than all we have time for this week. Thank you for joining us. And I guess we'll see you next week. Hopefully. Yeah, I think almost certainly we will yeah. Yeah. Writing if you would like to hear more from the podcast. What if we get a single email and we're just like, all right, time to pack it in. Pack it in.

And we're done. Thanks for all your time, guys. Oh boy. All right, I'm going to go get a great big milkshake, have diarrhea and then call the police. Sounds great. Bye bye. Bye. and then call the police. Sounds great. Me too. Bye-bye. Bye. Bye. you to be