Boonta Vista - UNLOCKED BONUS EPISODE: The Theo Philes X - Deus Ex Mystery Snail / A Fuck For Every Shit

Episode Date: March 31, 2022

This week's free episode is an episode that was previously not free! What a win for you, the consumer. *** In this, the historic tenth installment of the Theo Philes, Theo and Ben explore: Introducing simple organisms to the mind-altering effects of Tool, and the universality of human experience as seen through historical jokes. *** Support our show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista *** Email the show at [e-mail]! Call in and leave us a question or a message on 1800-317-515 to be answered on the show! *** Twitter: twitter.com/boontavista Website: boontavista.com Merchandise: boontavista.com/merchandise Twitch: twitch.tv/boontavista

Come one come all and gather round we'll tell our tales to thee Of saints and hores and demon cause of sights for all to see Come ye all around the fire and listen all the while To tales of holes and mystery we call the theophiles we call the theophiles we call the theophiles we call the the-files we call the the-files we call the the thi. We call the the the thi. We thi. We thi. We thi. We thi.to tales of holes and mystery we call the Theophiles we call the Theophiles X We call the Theophiles X. Welcome to Buntavista as a bonus episode this is the Theophiles X or Theophiles X stands for extreme that's right in the thereopiens X X stands for extreme. That's right. In the mountain dew sense of the word.

In the mountain Jew, yeah, except I've still got a cold. So it's going to be extreme in a really kind of subtle way. It's actually adding quite a nice quality to voice. Like obviously, I love the sound of voice normally. I think it's deepened it a little, so it's sort of like down low and sexy a little bit of Matt Berenshire. I feel like I kind of respect you a little bit more. Yeah, yeah. It's interesting. I certainly feel like I have more self-worth.

Yeah. That's nice. You need some of that. Well, speaking of self-worth, I am thi-I I am, I am th. I am th enhanced genetically bred genetically engineered, I'd say, super soldier. And I'm standing at the precipice of a new dawn here in 2052. We could be leading the world into a new error of enlightenment, of advance, etc. I've just killed Bob Page, the most annoying billionaire, no trillionaire, sorry, on the face of the planet. Who the fuck is Bob Page? Mega genius. And I think his, his prevailing personality trade is that he's so pretentious that everyone in his employee makes fun of him. Sorry, sorry, who is

who is Bob Page? That's right. Sorry. I've just realized that. Yeah. Ex-leader of the Illuminati. Well, leader of the Illuminati until I shot him in the head with a sabre around, kind of took over that using the military force with the MJ-12 program, of course, that he was led, that's the government-funded project to sweep up all the technology from all of the alien encounters throughout humanity, sort of concentrate them in one place and development for, you know, use by the one world order. Now the Luminati, but the Luminati sort of gone, was gone a little slow, sorry, just getting down the weeds here, but he's dead now. Yeah. And it's just me, I guess, because I killed him. But I'm, it's not just me actually, I lied. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm thi, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, just me, I guess, because I killed him. Yeah. But it's not just me actually,

I lied. I'm here with my friend Ben, who is a hyper-enhanced, intelligent, beautiful AI by the name of Helios, of course, being the merging of two prior AIs created by the US government and Illuminati and whatever, I can't really remember. Being Icarus and Daedalus, those two bad boys came together, formed Helios, the new intelligence, more enlightened, more analytical, more beautiful, I'd say. More fuckable. Yeah, more fuckable. How are you, Ben? How you feel? I'm great. Can I pull back the curtain for you for a little bit? So I have really only played, uh, I played invisible war through twice,

which was the one that everyone hated. It's such a bizarre foundation for Day Osex. I think I played like 10 minutes of the first one. Yeah. But sort of gave up because I found it confusing. Yeah. And then I played the two that were on the PS4, like the next generation ones. So there's human, like the next generation ones.

Human Revolution, and mankind divided. So human revolution was 2015, I think, and then mankind divided a couple years after that. Now I had an absolutely tremendous time playing those video games. I don't remember a single thing about them, but I remember loving them and then learning shortly thereafter they had no plans to make sequels to those games. No, well they didn't make any money for mankind divided, so that's about it really. Yeah, so my main recollection of that entire franchise is the part from the start of Invisible War where they're demonstrating the incredible physics with the basketball court, but there's like literally

no way to get a basketball through the hoop. which very cleverly mirrors the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thii. they're thi. they're thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, thi. Well, thi. Well, thi. Well, thi. Well, thi. Well, thi. Well, thi. thi. thi's, thi's, thi's, they're they're they're they're they're they're thi's, thi's, thi's, thi. Well, thi. Well no way to get a basketball through the hoop. Which very cleverly mirrors an exact segment from the original Diocex where there's also a basketball court and you basically can't put the basketball through the hoop. That was on Unreal 1 so they didn't really have physics at that time. Video games are dope. Yeah, no, Dosex 1, I was watching the, so there's a very long video essay come out by, you know, Harris Bomber Guy regarding Human Revolution. And all I could think was, fucking, how dope was Deus X1. And it has this thing where, much like the properties, the other properties that have that subtle but complete veneer of irony over their themes, that were later taken on by other companies, other studios.

So you fallout one and two, right? And Max Payne, one and two. Of course, like those games then were taken over by different studios who just ditched the irony thing, they just didn't understand it. It's too confusing. Yes, I think the themes of Fallout 3, uh, war is very cool. Yeah, what if a bomb? Ugh. Um. I have become death.

Bad-ass. That is fucking sick as hell. Yeah. The full quote I believe is I have become death and destroyer worlds and that's very nice to me. I like that a lot actually. Anyway, Deus X1 was very funny, very cool. A game that asked what if every conspiracy theory on earth was true?

But just weirdly prescient about a whole bunch of shit for completely like, I don't know, it's like weird that they just had the cogs in their head of like how this stuff would work. And they just put it together. And they came up with something that's like, oh yeah. If everything that you suspected was true, this is probably how it would look. So the base plot is that a pandemic has swept through the world, vaccines are only available for the rich. Mm-hmm. And so the decision that they made is very cool in that they just let everyone die for ages. Oh, that's weird. Yeah, it's completely weird. That's strange. Yeah, very strange.

Through some like weird quirk in the amount of memory that they had available the two of them, the Skybox in the first mission which is based in New York is missing the Twin Towers and there is an in-law explanation for this. This is a game that came out in 1998. In-law explanation for this that the main terrorist organization, the NSF, destroyed them in a terrorist attack.

What else? Yeah, yeah, what else, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, what else, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, what else, yeah, yeah, the th is, the thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, the, tho, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, the thi... And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi, thi, thi, thi. And, the. And, thi. And, the attack. What else? What else? Yeah, so the guy I just killed, Bob Page, extremely annoying trillionaire who names all of his programs after Greek mythology and biblical references, and all his security levels in Majestic Twelve headquarters are based around the different levels in the Bible about how close to heaven you could be. It's so good. It's such a fucking good game. They just knew like how funny conspiracies were, but then they played it with a completely straight face. It's awesome. Anyway, you and I've been on the blow

the bower a bunch. You just sort of like tap into my brain augmentations whenever, of course, you know, whenever you want to chat. Because it's cool, I's just like, hang now. I think we've been getting on like a house on fire. Are my motivations clear or unclear to you? Well, clear in that you would very much like to be running things, and by things I mean, like all of human consciousness. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm sort of like an empty vessel now. I'd say I've got like the plugs and stuff on a physical level, but as well as a sort of emotional and spiritual level. Sort of just there for the filling. And what I'm just, go with me on this. See what you think? I'm just throwing this out here.

I don't, we've only known each other for about three missions. But what if we merged consciousnesses? Oh, I love that. And sort of, it'd be a sort of, I'd be the brawn, you'd be the brains situation. You having no corporeal form, me being just all corporeal form. Yeah. Tail to tip. And sort of just usher in a new age of enlightenment.

Well that sounds, are we doing an even 50-50 split of like rank space personality? I don't think we need to like, I don't think we need to put it on paper or anything. I think we work it out on the fly, but I trust you, I'm like a vast, infinitely powerful, yeah, hyper intelligence. Yeah, and that's what I like thuuuuuu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu, I'm some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some thu, I'm some some thu, I'm some thu, I'm some thu, I'm some thu, I'm some thum some thum, I'm thu, I'm thu, I'm thu thu thu thu thu tho thu tho thu thu thu thu thu thu thu that's that's that's that's thi thi thi thi thi thi th. Are thi th. Are th. Are thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thu, I'm thu, I powerful, hyper-intelligence. Yeah, and that's what I like about you. And I'm just, I'm some dude, I've got some holes in me. Yeah. That's so true.

But I'm pretty certain we're on a pretty even. I mean, I just feel like what I'm bringing to table, what you'll bring is the table. You know, maybe we could go like, you20. I mean you can go look you can go without me if you've Like I'll just take the body no no I see like you can just keep trying fuck floating around in in space We'd like to have corporate form I'd love to shit You know that's the main motivation. You'd think it get old. It'd be great and but every time afterwards oh, fuck. That was a good shit. Thrill, never wears off.

I think we're on the same page here. The same Bob page here. New Age of Enlightenment, it is. Yeah, let's do a little handshake deal on this. Obviously, a little bootstrapping problem there, because I won't be able to do the handshake deal until we've... Yeah and I'll take it as I'll take it a segue in. Yeah, a little red herring there. I would love to go back to the 1950s with you. What have you got for me, T-Bird?

So you know as well as I know. LSD. Hell of a drug. Yeah. So it was made by a Swiss chemist, Albert Hoffman, 1938. And they're kind of like, oh, well, this is pretty cool. Might be a new analeptic. And then in 1943, he discovered its effects on humans, when he accidentally absorbed some through his skin.

You probably know the story and then had a little ride on his bicycle home. Yeah. And then midway through his ride, I was going, hmm, everything is new and different. And possibly bad. That's interesting. The universe is unfolding like a beautiful flower. Yeah. And I'm just trying to get home to my life. Yeah.

I don't know why this is happening, which is potentially a complete nightmare. And then past that point, of course, they just gave LSD to everything. Everyone and everything. You know, if it had a little wet hole to put it in, they'd put a little tab of LSD in there. Of course, the main reference and the most famous project that we, that comes to mind is MK Ultra. I'm actually, I'm currently up to like hour five or six of the most famous project that comes to mind is MK Ultra. Where they were- I'm currently up to like hour five or six of the last podcast in the left MK Ultra series.

Is it good? Oh my goodness, it's tremendous. I might have to check that out. Of course I've shied away from from doing anything on MK Ultra. It is very, there's a lot there, but obviously everyone's well aware of it. You know, so they'd give LSD to soldiers, they'd give LSD to spies, they'd give LSD to civilian researchers against their knowledge. That was a fun one. Yeah, that was a fun one. Hey, if you work here, the CIA, you might get LSD in your coffee at any time.

Okay. By the way, swing by the brothel on your way home. For no reason, no specific reason. Etc. So we know all about that. What I'm interested in today is giving LSD to just about everything else. So and other drugs as well, let's not limit ourselves. Let's not cast too thin of a net.

Can I just preempt something here if that's all right? And I don't know if this is going to come up in any way shape or form, but I would like to say, as I always say on this podcast, listen to episode 8 of the dollop of the dolphin. Yeah, no dolphins in this one, but listen to episode 8 of the dollop. That's really a two-for, isn't it? Given LSD to dolphins and then also jacking that dolphin off. Yeah, you really think the giving LSD the dolphin is, that is the story? That's the lead, yeah. Yeah, but it's so much much. That's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. That's th. That's th. th. th. thuffi. the pre the pre thoomuffiolfi-a the the thoffic. th. th. th. th. thoffic thoffic thoffic thoomfins. thoom' thoom thoom thoom thoom th. th. the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thu thu tho tho tho tho tho tho-lou-lou-lou-lipa tho-lopanan. tho-lopanannene. tho-dol' tho-dol' tho-dolthe dolphin is, that is the story. That's the lead, yeah. Yeah. But it's so much more. That's the prelude, baby. So in 1951, a man by the name of Vitt submitted a study in German with an English summary

entitled, Delisogessoire Diathlamid, which I believe is LSD 25, I'm Spinning Test, which is the effects of LSD 25 on spiders ability to spin webs. And this is, I don't know, you guys probably seen that, that meme image of spiders on different drugs. On different drugs. Yeah. I don't know how real that one is. This is not that study. That's been kicking around the internet now for like, as far, as far, as th, as th, as th, as th, as th, as th, as th, as th, as th, as th, as th, as th, as th, as thi, as thi, as thi, as thi, as I thi, as thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is thi, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I don't know how real that one is. This is not that study. That's been kicking around the internet now for like, as far as I can tell, 120 years. Yes. This isn't the one, this predates that. And in summary, investigating spiders webs built under

the influence of LSD and mescaline, throw that one in for free. A difference between two substances becomes apparent. The most striking is the improved exactitude of the angles with small doses of LSD 25, so just really like really getting into the hyperfocus mode. Yeah, really nailing the sacred geometry of the spider web. Probably listening to some tool while they're doing it. I wonder if anyone's done that before, listen to some tool while they're doing it. I wonder if anyone's done that before, listen to some tool and listen to take LSD at the same time.

To me, listening to tool is like doing acid. That's right. Those guys must have been on drugs when they wrote that stuff. Yeah, they must have been smoking so much weed. Absolutely, dude. But conversely they experienced decreased accuracy under the influence of mescalum. Just really fucking stuff up, probably puken on the side. Experien their own birth was really throwing them off from making a thing to catch and kill flies with. Therefore it seems likely that the similar effect with which thing to catch and kill flies with.

Therefore, it seems likely that the similar effect with which the two drugs have on man is brought about by attacks from different points. I'd say you're on the money there, VIT. So the implication is that if you had two men, let's call them Bob and Carl. Bob's taken acid and he's built a beautiful house. Carl has taken acid and his house is dog shit. Sorry, Carl is taken mescalin and his house looks like dog shit. Yeah. So that's the allegory there. But if, um, have you controlled for Carl just being a, like never having been taught by his father.

We have two twin brothers who have exactly the same experience in construction. Um, 1990, uh, 1955, a study by Harold A. Abraition. I think I'm meant to... Oh, no, this is the notes auto correct that I love so much. Harold A. Abrasson I'm going with and Murray E. Jarviic Lysurgic acid diethmide, LSD 25. Number nine, effect on snails. So the intro to this one. They mentioned that a prior study had shown Siamese fighting fish when immersed in solutions

of LSD 25, respond to the drug by quote, rather typical reactions. I really wanted to find the full text of that one. The only one I could find I had to pay 40 bucks for, you know, so it's one of those ones that's like deep in a journal. And they hadn't really gotten there like citation styles down pat in the 50s yet. So are they saying that they were typical reactions as in typical of things on acid or typical of fish? I think they're saying typical of things on acid. Right.

So just a little touching themselves with their little flippers on the face, looking around in wide-eyed wonderment. Yeah, I should call my mum more. I might be a bad person, but it's not too late to change. Yeah. But they do include a little summary of this one in the abstract. The initial excitatory reaction of better splendens, which is Siamese fighting fish, which ends in a state of stupor. It's finally characterized by a semi-vertical position at the surface of the water. Backward swimming, display eventual fins, distortion of body in an S-shaped form, and Cartesian diver movements.

So Cartesian divers is a little toy where you have a little, like a little bait or something in the, you know, in a bottle of water. When you squeeze the bottle of water, it just plunges to the bottom of the tank. So just plunging to the bottom of the ocean. Swimming backwards is incredible. It's so good. Like in, you know in the movie Deep Blue Sea, when the sharks begin swimming backwards, they show it as a sign of hyper shark intelligence.

We've unlocked. Hyper intelligence in Siamese fighting fish. Backwards dodge. And similar phenomena has been, have been observed in goldfish, Carassius or a terus as well. So that's nice. So back to the snails, they report to another reaction which may possibly provide a bioassay technique for LSD 25. We find that several species of snails respond to LSD 25, but our data are mainly concerned, that always fucks me up. I'll never get used to that.

Our data are mainly concerned with Amarablaia Cuprina, which is a kind of snail known in pet shops as, quote, mystery snail and is readily obtainable. Shown up in a lab coat. Hey, I'd like one handful of mystery snail for normal reasons, please. I would like some mystery snails that I am not going to give mind-altering drugs to wink. Probably just a really mild content warning here for animal experiments, probably not the worst animal experiments that you'll hear of, but they're still doing this. Shortly after immersion in solutions of distilled water containing LSD 25, the snail opens its percolum, extrudes its tentacles, proboscis and gastropod, the motion of the

gastropod being abnormal. It consists of a rather wild, undulating, waving muscular movement, which prevents the snail from adhering to any services. Buddy, we've all been there. You've broken down the mind of the snail so much you've made them frictionless. They call it a sticker, but I've never seen it stick. Normal response to gentile tactile stimulation is lost. Just poking these snail on the side of the head.

Doesn't seem to be reacting. Just touching it on its eye stalk, the eye stalk's not moving. The eye is just pupil dilating. Where am I? But the snail will close to a more vigorous stimulation only to reopen again within a brief period. This disorganized movement has been observed to last for 36 hours and more when snails usually die. That is a bad trip. That is. The snail does the worm for 36 hours. And then dies. And then dies.

Fark. Which actually happened a lot in the 90s to a lot of good people. One of the scariest scenes in modern cinema is in Good Time. Hmm. A movie, which I would say is inaccurately named. I don't know why they misnomer there. A bit of a misnomer towards the end where someone is like force-fed like a mouthful of chemical grade like pre-blotter LSD. It's like a couple of hundred doses of acid in a, in a Sprite bottle I believe. Yeah, that to me is a... That is an absolute horror. Yes. Just being... hmm. Anyway, moving on. I don't like that. This prolonged action is similar to the prolonged response by better splendens and persists

after the snails are removed to fresh water or to open air. However, quite a number of the snails die rapidly in higher concentration. After two hours immersion in solutions containing, and this is some smaller proportion of LSD25, the same wave l- containing and this is some smaller proportion of LSD 25, the same wave-like phenomena occur after immersion for four hours in the same solution. The snails may then remain open and show the typical reaction. The fantastic, enveloping, persistent wave-like motion of the gastropod, it's very different from the distorted,

stuporous state of the better splendens, although betters, as mentioned, show a preliminary short excitation face. So they're really vibran on this. Yeah, they're loving it. They're loving it. I don't blame. Hmm. It should be mentioned that only snails that climb out of an underwater trapel vessel are employed to test the drugs. So that's a fun little distinction. They're only doing it on extroverts, which is possibly a problem. That...

That's so hard. They're doing a competency test? Just to make sure the snails aren't dunce? Well, I think that's just the ones that they can't actually pick up the ones, the ones, the ones, they're they're the ones, they're they're the ones, they're the ones, the ones, they're the ones, they're the ones, the ones, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, their, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, their thi, thi.... thi, the trap. You can't get your fat little scientist fingers down there. So these are fun studies. There was one that really caught my attention. It's been sitting in my notes forever. And that's one by the name of, the effects of psychotropic drugs on biological systems of low complexity. I didn't write down the date of the effects of psychotropic drugs on biological systems of low complexity.

I didn't write down the date for this one. I think it's 1955. And these guys are really getting down to brass tacks. Personally I think animals are just like too much of a pain the ass to experiment on. So what happens, e.g. If you give the goo from a firefly tail, dextra amphetamine, secobarbital, which is an anesthetic, chloropramazine, which is an antipsychotic, prochlorazine, which is another antipsychotic, imipramine,

which is a tri-cyclic antidepressant, or LSD. Well, it turns out nothing, except for the LSD which substantially inhibited the light output of the Firefly Tale. What is the goop in a Firefly Tale? I don't know. What did they think would, I'm so intrigued. Well, I think they're, um, so what they're really looking for, in seriousness is I think, thi, a, a, a thi, a thi, a thi, a thi, a thi, a thi, a thi, a thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, except, except, except, thi, except, except, except, thi, except, thi, except, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, to, thi, to, to, to, to, to, to, thi, to, to, to, to, to, tooomomome, to,'re so what they're really looking for in seriousness is I think a bunch of different more basic reactions that they can steer with common psychotropic drugs that they don't really understand the the physical mechanism at this time. Yeah because this stuff is really hard to study and like famously the the the the the the. Oh like the physical mechanism at this time. Yeah. Because this stuff is really hard to study and

and like famously we don't know how quite a lot of the anti-psychotic and anti-deprescent drugs especially the the new ones work right like what mechanisms they operate. So you know why not give it a go on firefly tail goo. Why not give it a go on Firefly Tail Goo? Why not give it a go on bacteria, which doesn't really do anything. Damn, I was really hoping that like, on some sort of cellular level something crazy happens to give them acid, they start forming triangles. Yeah, yeah, yeah, they kind of really, uh, really tap into the one consciousness, etc. Cancer? So if you take a bunch of cancer and like pull it out obviously and give it a bunch of drugs.

Everything except LSD caused degenerative changes and cell death in shorter times than the control. I assume the cancer on LSD was just like having a lovely time and yeah, voting out. Unless it started to think about its purpose in life. Oh you don't want to do that. No. Oh goodness. Am I just here to kill? Is that all I'm doing? Yeah they can get dark real quick. Yeah, but I know what you're asking. What about oats seedlings? So the anti-psychotics promoted growth, whereas dextra amphetamine and LSD inhibited growth, showing that oat seedlings probably should take better care of their mental health, I think. Oh, wow.

Yeah. They're all out there depressed. This is insane. Uh-huh. But, all right, that's a bit abstract. What if we gave all of these drugs to Hydra, the horrible little microscopic aquatic creatures sort of just like wiggle about and hope that stuff like falls in their mouth? So Dexies shorten the time, amount of time that their mouth stays open following a stimulus, which you know, you're never really hungry on uppers.

Stands to reason. The same thing goes for the antipsychotics, but that also tends to kill them pretty quickly. Oh, that's a shame. LSD doesn't do anything for hydras. Oh, interesting. Yeah, man, drugs just don't work on me. Yeah, I'm kind of immune.

Yeah. Okay, I hear you asking, what about the effects on dandelion sleep movements? Really, we get to the meat and potatoes of this. So this is the characteristic movement of dandelions opening and closing their flowers and chasing the sun over the several days of their of their life. So it turns out Dexies and LSD causes higher movements and Secobarbital caused the dandelions to close earlier and move less, which you know, it's a downer that's that's stands to close earlier and move less, which, you know, it's a downer. That's, that stands to reason. Which the authors note that mirrors the actions of these drugs on the human nervous

system, amphetamines being typical stimulants, LSD producing both an excitatory and inhibitory effects on the human nervous system, but with the excitatory effects winning out. So basically, humans, dandelions. Same thing thing. I mean, we share. I, that. I, that. I, the that. I, to, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to the the that, to the the the the the that, that, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the authors, the authors, the the the authors, is theandelions, same thing. I mean, we shared 97% of their DNA. We are, we're all one. This is like, one of those things where, you know, like part of the joy of wrestling is sort of like, turning your brain off to like you know that in one way you enjoy wrestling as a meta text you know like everything that happens in there is a comment on you know they know audience expectations and they're playing on them so they're sort of you're having a like a meta dialogue about what's

happening and that's funny but also part of it is you get absorbed in the story lines and you enjoy it that way you you allow yourself to pretend that it's real. the the to to to to the to the to to to the to. the to to. the to. to. the to. to. to. the the to to the to to. to. to to to to. to. to. to. to. the the the to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their, their, their, their, their, their, th. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. t storylines and you enjoy it that way. You allow yourself to pretend that it's real for the enjoyment of getting absorbed in it. Now I do a not inconsiderate amount of drugs and read a lot of shit about UFOs and stuff and like part of- Yeah, you should check out the game. Day who sex. Yeah, it sounds like it might be up my alley. But part of it is like, I'm always flirting with becoming the worst person alive. Oh, absolutely. You take acid and then you just like, you know what, maybe there is just like something bigger than all of us out there and you know, like.

And it's fun to like, I will, the world of just him being like, we're all energy and it's all just this and I don't believe any of it, but what if I did? Yeah. And you get to have that little moment. Yeah. And then, you know, you read stuff like this and you're like, maybe we are a one right. It would be really cool if you could like just get surgery or some sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort or something that just gets rid of the entire sentence past the comma.

Like, wouldn't it be, you know, what if we were one global consciousness and you can feel that comma coming on? And then it's lost. You just go like, your brain sees the comma coming up and it goes, I'm out of here. Yeah, I'm out of here. I was going to set that mouth to a gape. Yep. I'm going to load up a woe in the brain. Oh. And then I'm going to propel those legs towards a crystal shop. Yeah. God, I wish. She googled the Matrix screensaver. Probably come up with some pretty cool stuff. All right, so I wanted to pull one more quote out of the discussion section.

Section, which is probably a thought quite close to the thoughts that we've been having, which is what has been achieved by performing these rather strange experiments and by assembling this array of data, which at first sight certainly strikes one as somewhat incongruous, if not irrelevant. Is such a wildcat exploration justified? And then over the next three pages, the authors explain yes. But they don't know how humor works, so they could have just said yes and they're not

explained it in any way shape or form. Oh, that's quite beautiful. I love that. Thank you. Your universe is a many splendid thing. Hey, thanks for listening. It's Andrew here. To get access to this full bonus episode along with all of our other bonus episodes every week and help support the show head on over to Patreon.com slash Wunter Vista sign up for five US dollars a month. Bye. Now T-Bird. You and I you know we've had a rough, it's been a rough couple weeks as you know. Yeah in Brisbane you know there's a whole bunch of things going on.

We had floods, pestilence from that Japanese encephalitis, and then also the coronavirus. Yeah, no longer novel. No. There's a war. There is a war. Somewhere in the world at the moment. And that's all three horsemen of the apocalypse covered there. Well, well, well, well, well, well, well, and that's, and that's, and that's, and that's, and that's, and that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's that's tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, the moment. And that's all three horsemen of the apocalypse covered there. Well, I'm pretty hungry as well, so. But in these times, you know, we've got something that we can turn to. Something, um, something that can act as a, it's something to kind of take, take your mind off just how horrible everything is.

And it's something we've been able to rely on Since time immemorial and possibly the most important thing there is the light on the hill That's right. It's jokes I was gonna say the federal ALP Now I don't know if you saw it, but there was a screenshot from Wikipedia that was kicking around on Twitter last week that got me thinking about this. Now this is an example of one of the oldest bar jokes that are in existence. So I'll just read the text of refresh or maybe if the listener has not heard this. So this is from Wikipedia. One of the earliest examples of bar jokes is Sumerian and it features a dog.

Quote, a dog walked into a tavern and said, I can't see a thing. I'll open this one. The humor of it is probably related to the Samir way of life and has been lost all of the real rhythms and the timing it's punchy. And the timing and feel of a joke without the context. Like most jokes for the last couple of thousand years have had a dog and a tavern in them. You know like it feels like it's all there. And so you read it and you're like, yeah. I want to laugh at this even though I don't, I don't know what the joke is. Yeah, no, but it's certainly kicking off the, kicking off the chemicals. It's letting go some. It's the form is enough to simulate that. I really enjoyed that you look at the replies of that and there's like, you know, obviously historians and anthropologists and probably even linguists have been looking at this for, I assume, quite a long time and

are relatively convinced they don't know what the meaning of the joke is because there's something lost. But then there's tons of replies to the tweet of people being like, oh, it's actually really obvious. I just figured it out. the fuck. the fuck up. It's so weird. So this just got me thinking about like what the jokes are that we have like the oldest jokes. I thought maybe we could have a look at what the oldest jokes in the world are. Hell yes. So this is taken from a study done at the University of Wolverhampton. It was commissioned by an English TV channel called Dave. It's a pretty odd. Yeah, I just saw a reference to Dave in an old Harry Enfield video today.

This morning. I believe Dave still exists. Very strange. Yeah, apparently. I'm going to do this in reverse chronological order of the 10 oldest jokes that they found, so most recent oldest. First one I have here is from Greece in the 4th century to the today. Asked by the court barber how he wanted his hair cut, the king replied, in silence. Damn. Now that's relatable. Yeah, we all know about that. Like I, I actually, I find it, I mean I don't get my, I get my hair cut by a friend now, but I, because I have to take my glasses off to get my hair cut, and my vision is very bad. You can be a haircut down on the farm? Yeah, I am now, yes, because of the problems that I have, the their their their their their their.. their their their their their their their the hair cut down on the farm? Yeah, I am now, yes, because of the problems that I have. Plus I got all the, all the, all the equipment there to shear a goat already.

Well actually the only thing that survived after those floods really was their hair dressing salon. I mean you were there, you saw the devastation. I was, I was there. And thank you so much. And thank th you. th you th you so th you so th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. th. th. th. th. th. that, the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the. the. the. theat, theat, theat, the. the. the. the. their, their, their, their, their, their, the I appreciate that very much. I don't know the least I could do. It was a very nice day. Yeah. I can't I can't read people's lips if I don't have my glasses on it and my hearing's not that great. So I get very stressed out talking to hairdresses. But it's so fucking wild that we have like one million barbers that are just doing like the hey bro, like how do you want your hair cut today? fucking like a PUA would cut it? Yes. But instead you can go to your friend Alice who is a farmer and she'll cut your hair. Yeah, but why are there no barbers that are just like the silent barber? We will ask you how you want your hair cut and then towards the end we will ask you whether

you want any more off the top. Yeah. I am always kind of hesitant when people have, you know people always tweeten, they're always tweeting but they're always complaining about like, uh, Uber driver wanted to talk to me. Yeah. I hate that shit because it's in the the job I just want you to do you to do you to do you to do you you to do you to do you to do you to do you to do you to do you to do you to do to do to job that I'm paying you to do, surf, and let me enjoy staring at my phone. There's an undertone to it which is very like this person who is on

poverty wages needs to shut the fuck up. That feels quite bad. But also, I just find the hairdresser have very stressful. But if talking helps you pass the time, please, by all means, you know. I feel like with a hairdresser, you cannot, there's no plausible distraction. You can't really have your phone out. There's some sort of social thing going that you're not supposed to read your phone there. Also, you've got to move your head sometimes. Yeah. Yeah. Here's another joke from fourth century Greece. Wishing to teach his donkey not to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their their tha. their. thoe. thoe. thoome. thoomea. thoomea. thoompa. their. thoompa. thoosa. thoosa. thoosa. their. their. their pa plausible. their pa plausible. their pa plausible. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. the. the. tha. tha. ta. ta. ta. toooooooosa.auuauauauauauauauauauauauauauauauauauauaua.a.a.a. tha.a joke from 4th century Greece. Wishing to teach his donkey not to eat, a pedant did not offer him any food. When the donkey died of hunger, he said, I've had a great loss, just when he had learned

not to eat, he died. He's a good joke. That's a good joke. I got another one here from ancient Rome. This is sometime between 63 BC and 14 AD, so quite specific but also quite vague at the same time. The Emperor Augustus was touring the empire when he noticed a man in the crowd who bore a striking resemblance to himself.

Intrigued he asked, was your mother at one time in service at the palace? The man replied, No, your highness, but my father was. Pretty good. Pretty good. Pretty good. I got another one here from ancient Egypt, from 30 BC. Man is even more eager to copulate than a donkey.

His purse is what restrains him. That's just classic. Classic guy humor for us dudes. We horny as hell but women be costing money. Am I right? Yeah. Why can't I have three sex and three money? Yep. This one is back to ancient Greece, but this time 429 BC. What animal walks on 4 feet in the morning, 2 at noon, 3 at the evening?

Now you know the answer this one. It's the classic, it's the classic sphinx riddle, as we all know. The sphinx. Not really a joke, is it? And also sucks. Yeah, I hate riddles. Yeah, um, so first of all, it's not, it's not just like, so you're not young in the morning and old in the evening. They're trying to trick us with metaphors. Yeah. I mean you are younger in the morning and older in the evening, but some mornings you are.

Some mornings you are older than some evenings. That's true. And also not everyone uses a cane in old age. No, that's true. And also some people like you know born in the morning, I crawl around a bit, they you know drive like a quad bike or something around noon, flip it and that's it. Yeah, that's some people. Some people... It's just a quad bike aftername. And that's why you should really only be on full wheelers with a roll cage on him. It's quad bikes. Yeah, don't go on quad bucks.

This one feels quite weak to me as well. So this is just from the Odyssey, 800 BC. Too long. Well, luckily you're just getting one of the Odyssey, 800 BC. Too long. Well, luckily you're just getting one of the highlights. Odysseus tells the Cyclops that his real name is nobody. When Odysseus instructs his mean to attack the Cyclops, the Cyclops shouts, help. Nobody is attacking me, and no one comes to help. Cyclops are so stupid, dude. They so stupid. Here's a classic wife joke

of unknown provenance from 1,100 BC. A woman who was blind in one eye has been married to a man for 20 years. When he found another woman he said to her, I shall divorce you because you are said to be blind in one eye." And she answered him, Have you just discovered that after 20 years of marriage? Guys be paying no attention, is it? Yeah I guess. Husband's been neglectful. God.

This one is also a riddle, is from Samaria, 1,200 BC. Three ox drivers from Adab were thirsty. One owned the ox, the ox, the other owned the thox, the the the the the the the the the th. I I, th. I th. I thix, thix, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, ox drivers from a dub were thirsty. One owned the ox, the other owned the cow, and the other owned the wagon's load. The owner of the ox refused to get water because he feared his ox would be eaten by a lion. The owner of the cow refused because he thought a cow might wander off into the desert, and the owner of the wagon refused because he feared his load would be stolen. Yep. Uh, he's getting sperm jacked. So they all went.

In their absence, the ox made love to the cow which gave birth to a calf which ate the wagon's load. Problem, who owns the calf? It's a shit joke. Damn. Okay, and what's the answer? Yeah no answer there. Who owns the calf? Well, I mean, I think the calf owns itself, man. That's so true. Yeah, bro, you can't just like own a cow. I mean, also is an ox a male cow? I thought an ox a male cow? I thought an ox was something completely...

I also thought an ox was a specific type of beast. With like big flat horns that kind of go out and up. Oh, an ox is specifically a male bovine trained and used as a draft animal. Right, so it's just a male cow. Yeah. A steer that can... a male steer that can, a steer, sorry, that can pull shit. Yeah. They're commonly castrated as well.

Interesting. So, okay, so that doesn't even... I see the problem here. Yeah. Maybe that's what the joke is. They left that ox's nuts on. I don't think so. This is another one from, this is our second oldest one here.

This is from ancient Egypt and 1600 BC. A little one-two structure that you might recognize. How do you entertain aboard Faro? You sail a boatload of young women dressed only in fishing nets down the nile and urge the Pharaoh to go catch a fish. It seems very complex a way to say Pharaohs be dumb and horny. I guess. And I've got a joke. So the final one on this list I think is really, honestly the best of them all. I reckon this is from Samaria around 1900 BC. So this is old as fuck. This is a 4,000 year old joke. It's in a two-part structure. Something which has never occurred since time immemorial. Dot dot dot. A young woman did not fart in her husband's lap. Perfect. No notes.

Also, this structure, kind of like a universal meme structure now, right? This structure, kind of like a universal meme structure now, right? This is the equivalent of like, you go nobody. Yes. Colin, you know whatever. Five thousand years pass dot dot dot. Yeah, you know? That's so good. Young women be farting in their husband's laps. That's so good. I love I love the purity of it. Yeah. It's made me kind of question the diets of the ancient Samarians a little bit. Now Theo, I'm not done yet. I'm just getting you primed for the main event. Well, I was primed a trimed. Well now you're double primed. You've got to watch out for that. I've become overprimed and burst from all the excitement.

Or you might, you might flood and burst from all the excitement. Or you might flood if that was the case. If you primed it too much. You have to turn the choke on, I guess. Yeah. Anyway, the first two jokes on the list here were from the same joke book, which is actually historically, it's the oldest one that we've ever found. It is the Philogelos written in ancient Greek sometime around the 4th century AD. And I thought I would share a curated selection of jokes

from it for you. Now, you might, the first two jokes, a classic Greek form of, ancient Greek form of joke, which is a joke at the expense of intellectuals. This is a translation of the word scholastikos, which is sometimes translated by people as egghead. It has a connotation of like, an academic but who is so sort of involved in their studies that they're very absent-minded. Yes. Not a lot of common sense.

Yeah, can't relate. Here we go. Firstly, I've got an intellectual during the night ravished his grandmother and for this got a beating from his father. He complained, you've been mounting my mother for a long time without suffering any consequences for me and now you're mad that you found me screwing your mother for the first time ever. Classic. Now I was laughing halfway through and then they gave the twist. And then the twist game. Yeah, finally the prestige. This one, you gotta love. An intellectual bought a pair of pants, but he could hardly put them on because they were too tight.

So he got rid of the hair around his legs. Pretty cool. I reckon that was what was stopping. Okay. Next here. A rude astrologer cast a sick boy's horoscope. After promising the mother that the child had many years ahead of him, he demanded payment. When she said, come tomorrow and I'll pay you, he objected. But what if the boy dies during the night and I lose my fee? It's a pretty good joke.

Pretty good joke. Uh, this is a good one. A young man said to his libido-driven wife, what should we do, darling? Eat or have sex. And she replied, you can choose, but there's not a crumb in the house. Another one here. A young man invited into his home frisky old women. He said to his servants, mix a drink for one and have sex with the other if she wants to. The women spoke up as one, I'm not thirsty.

I love how the Greeks. Oh, man, I love how just unabashedly horny they were and like, like pansexual as well. Oh my god, yes. And and the constant like recurring thing of people online being like we should be more like the Spartans and more like the the pure like mind geniuses of the ancient Greeks and like, oh okay, like just fucking each other. Just constantly all the time. Yeah. If you're not fighting, you're fucking. Yeah. I got another one here. A man goes to his obstinate friend's house looking for him.

I'm not in, comes to shout from inside. Laughing, the friend says, liar, I recognize your voice. You, you bastard, replies the obstinate guy. If my slave had called out, you, you, you, you, you, the the the the to to to, to, toe, to, toe, toe, like, toe, like, like, like, like, like, to, like, like, like, like, to, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, tho, the toe, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to, to, toe, the, toe, toe, too, the, too, too, too, too, too, together. together. together, together, together, together, together, thin. thea. thea. my slave had called out, you would have believed him. How come you trust him more than me? Nice little joke. Yeah. I think you could use a little trimming. Yeah, there's a little bit of fat in there that I think could go.

Last one from the Philogellus here, Philogellis. A young man was asked whether he took orders from his wife or if she obeyed his every command. He boasted, my wife is so afraid of me that if I even so much as yawn, she shits. Pretty. Yeah. Now, this, that wasn't even the main event either. I have another little treat for you here.

Triple Prime and me. Now, this is not a particularly old joke book compared to the first one, but it is still quite an old joke book. We are going to read from the facetiae or the Liber Facetiarum. Now, this is a book from, published first, I I think in 1478 by the then Papal Secretary Podio Brachiolini. Now this is a selection of curious anecdotes and jokes that he had sort of heard and then he bound together in this beautiful Latin tome. I have quite a few of these because they are absolutely remarkable. I just want you to keep in mind that these were written in the 1400s by the Papal Secretary.

Here is the first one. An old bishop, whom I knew, complained that he had already lost a number of his teeth and that others were shaking so badly that he feared to lose these also. At this, a man of his district said, have no fear that you will lose your teeth... thi. thi. thi. thi. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thee, thee, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, these these these these these these these these these these these these these these these these these these these these these these these these these these these these these these the, th th th th th th th th th th th th the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, thee, theateateat, theateatea. theatea. theatea. theatea. theeeeeeeeeeeeeee, th he feared to lose these also. At this a man of his district said, have no fear that you will lose your teeth. Why not? the bishop asked curiously. Well my testicles have been hanging loose for the last 40 years, seeming always on the point of falling off, and yet I have never lost them. Yep.

Next one I've got here. A shoemaker in Arezzo had an apprentice who Yep. Yep. Next one I've got here. A shoemaker in Arezzo had an apprentice who often left the workshop and retired into the house of his master on the ground that he could work better and more comfortably in the quiet of the house. Ah, working from home. Working from your master's home? That's right.

Sure. This aroused the suspicions of the shoemaker, so that he came to the house one day unexpectedly and found the lad in bed with his wife. Whereupon he said sternly to his apprentice, you are wasting your time, for this type of work I shall certainly not pay you. There's an awful lot of wife jokes in this. Next one here. Decono del Arngeli, citizen of Florence, was appointed guardian of an estate and administered his trust over a long period in such a manner that he consumed every penny of it in food and

drink. Summoned finally before a magistrate to give an accounting and instructed to present his books showing income and expenditures, Decono pointed to his mouth and rear saying, aside from these, I have no other records of income and outgo. It was eaten and chitin' bro. Now this next one I think might be my favorite maybe. A Florentine had in his home a young man who instructed his children in the elements of knowledge. After a long stay, the young tutor felt himself so much at home that he had, in turn, the housemaid the nurse and finally the mistress herself. When the master of the house, who was a jovial fellow, discovered this, he summoned

the young man to his private chamber and said, I find it unmanly of you, sir, that in taking your pleasure of my entire household, you have made an exception of me. Yes. Yes. You fuck everyone in my house and you will not fuck me? One of my cow's shop-deliver? It's so good. Now this next one I think might be quite close to your heart actually.

Two friends, during a pleasurable walk, engaged in a friendly dispute over the question, which offered the greater joy? Sex, intercourse or the act of easing the bowels. As they walked, they came upon a well-known the- the the the the the the the the the the the the the the toeler, intercourse, or the act of easing the bowels? As they walked, they came upon a well-known courtesan who had never scorned the invitation of any man. Let us ask her opinion, said the first friend. She is well acquainted with both functions. But the other objected, she is not the one to decide such a great question impartially,

for she has lain with men much more the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the objected. She is not the one to decide such a great question impartially, he declared, for she has lain with men much more frequently than she has been to the privy. We can't ask her, she fucks more than she shits. So what they're really looking for is a one-to-one fuck to-shit ratio. Yeah, for every shit there is a fuck. Perfectly titratedrated fucks and shit. A man of mature years took a widow to wife and, as he enjoyed the marital rights on the first night, he found that the approach to his wife was wider than he had expected. Beloved wife, he said, your stall is too large for my cattle.

Upon which the widow answered, it is your own fault, for my first husband, God rest his soul, filled it so completely that for lack of room, his rams were compelled to remain outside. Now, help me unpack this one here. Because it seems maybe the suggestion is that the first gentleman's penis is so small that the balls are also going in. He's also putting his balls in, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It, it. It, it. It, it. It, it. It, it. It, it. It is. It is. It is. It is the the the their their their their own their own their own their own their own their own their own their own their own their own their own their own their own their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th is th is th is thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi their own own own own own fault is thi thi thi their own their own their own their it seems maybe the suggestion is that the first gentleman's penis is so small that the balls are also going in. He's also putting his balls in, yeah. And also I think like, let's reconsider the context, the papal scribe, just jotting, just casually jotting down, my wife's pussy's so big. How big is it? That's the Pope from the next room.

A priest once lay at noon of day with the wife of a peasant who, hoping to catch them in the act, had concealed himself beneath the couch upon which they reclined. The priest, utterly unaware that the peasant was hidden beneath him, exclaimed suddenly in a burst of ecstasy, oh, I feel as if I saw the whole world stretched out before my eyes. At this, the peasant, who had the day before lost a donkey, forgetting his disgrace completely, cried out to the priest, please, I beg of you, look about you further. Is there not do you believe that someone of that time would be reading this and feeling some sort of like universal connection to that?

Feeling some sort of like universal connection to that? Absolutely. That's something so relatable. Yeah. You know you'd so desperate to find that lost doggy of yours that you would forget that's something so relatable. Yeah. You know, you'd so desperate to find that lost dog of yours that you would forget that a priest is fucking your wife. One of my townsman, with whom I am very friendly, is extraordinarily slender and lean of figure. Once, when someone commented upon his slenderness, a wit standing by answered, There is nothing to wonder at in this. He spends half an hour at the dinner table, but no less than two hours in the privy thereafter.

It's just simple maths. It seems therefore that my friend must remain lean, since he spends so much more time in the lightning of his body. He be shitin' more than he's eaten. But if you do, yeah, he crunched the numbers there. It's just not sustainable. Now I think you're going to like this next one, T-Bird. A young woman of Florence, who was not too richly endowed with wisdom, lay at the point of childbirth and suffered great pain.

When her travail had endured for a long time, the midwife took up a candle and looked below to see if there was any sign of the child. We'll go back to the first flashlight, Ted. That imagery is very funny. The candles on a plate, I'm picturing as well. Let's see what's going on in that dank old cave down there. At this, the suffering woman instructed her to also look behind for the child in as to to to to to to to to to to to to the child, the child, the child, the child, the child, the child, the child, the child, the child, the child, the child, the child, the child, the child, the child, the child, the child, the child, the child, the child, the the the the the the the the their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the child, the child, the child, the child, the child, the child, the child, the child, the child, the child, the child, the child, the child, thea, tho, thooma, thoomorrow, thoomorrow, thoomorrow, today, thiioluu' thiolou, thiolou, their woman instructed her to also look behind for the child, inasmuch as her husband had on occasion also used the back road. Check my ass, because we sometimes do anal. I also enjoy that they're, it's all like, yeah, there's one layer of abstraction in the language that they use, but not in like any meaningful way, there's still as dirty. Yeah. The joke is still as filthy as if you'd just set it out right.

That's truly we are all one people. I think that's the common theme of both of our segments, I think. Now I have one final joke for you. It is told of Janella, the clever gesture, that he waged with a man from Ferrara that he would make a soothsayer of him. He took his companion to bed with him, and, breaking wind softly, instructed him to stick to stick to stick to stick to stick to stick his to stick his to stick his to stick his to stick his to stick his to stick his to stick his to stick his to stick his to stick his to stick his took his companion to bed with him, and, breaking wind softly, instructed him to stick his head under the covers. The other obeyed, but immediately withdrew, offended by the foul odor. It appears to me that you have farded, he said, upon which Janella cried, correct, I win the bet, for you are already a soothsail. That classic waging you make with somebody where you're like, now quickly just hop into

my bed and stick your head out of the covers for no reason. Lovely. Isn't it nice that some things are kind of timeless? Absolutely, I do. Apart from, um, yeah, apart from a couple there where you need a little more kind of, you got to squeeze a little harder to sort of step into their shoes, vis-a-vis loss of donkeys, etc. Yeah. I mean, imagine if that donkey was an AU Falcon. Yes, no, that's so true, yeah.

Hey, Bishop. Where did I park my car? Yep. Have you seen in 1999, AU Falcon sports model, but the spoiler has come off and instead of a spoiler mount, there's some duct tape over the hole so that water doesn't get into the boot? Oh shit, now that I think of it, please stop fucking my wife. A human experience. Trulytruly universal.

Hey Theo, hey buddy. I think we've just finished an episode of the Theo files. I think I don't think you'd be, uh, I think you'd be hard-pressed to disagree with that. Wow, I have verily made you a soothsayer. Hmm. Thanks very much for joining us. I'm talking to the listener now. Yeah, no, no, th, no, th, th, to th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thing to the listener now. Yeah, no, no. Thank you to the hypothetical third person in the room who is invisible to us, but a very

tangible presence. And we're looking you directly in the eyes now as well. Yes, yes we are. Now if there's multiple of you listening to this, say you're in a car with your wife and you force her to listen to this on a long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long. drive. Maybe let her choose next. Yeah, stop doing that. Yeah. This is a fun little prompt for the message that I got about the train intro. That after three dates, let's do this in the style of a joke book. After three dates a man says, listen to my favorite podcast, Buntavista, the woman returns, and says, I can no longer date you.

Yep. Yeah. Scientists is going to be pouring over this one. Yeah. Historians in 3,000 years. The sort of jellyfish men. The text remaining, but the subject being lost to be pouring over this one in historians in 3,000 years. The sort of jellyfish men. The text remaining but the subject being lost to time. Yep. Maybe it's a play on words. They'll never figure it out. All right. We'll see you guys next time. Guys? No. Well, unless it's the husband and wife situation. Yeah. Otherwise we'll see see you singular in this time. Bye.

Hi.