Boonta Vista - UNLOCKED BONUS EPISODE: Theo Philes IV - The Boneshaker Onwards / Smelliest Matter of the Universe

Episode Date: November 23, 2020

It's an unlocked bonus episode! We've got some shit on this week so we're digging into the archives! *** In this episode of The Theo Philes: Ben and Theo delve into the moral panic around the freedoms that the bicycle afforded to women, and the substances so unbelievably, hideously smelly you can't even study them. *** Support our show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista *** Email the show at [e-mail]! Call in and leave us a question or a message on 1800-317-515 to be answered on the show! *** Twitter: twitter.com/boontavista Website: boontavista.com Merchandise: boontavista.com/merchandise Twitch: twitch.tv/boontavista

Hello and welcome to Buena Vista. This is episode 4 of Theophiles. I am Ben and I am here in the set of irrational numbers, existing pleasantly in a way that can't be defined as the ratio of two integers. With me of course is Theo, a mathematical constant that can be expressed as the ratio of a circle's circumference to its diameter. Hello, Theo. Hey, how are you going? I'm great. How are you? I'm great. How are you? I'm, th, th, th, how, th, how, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. This. th, th, th. This. This. This. This. This. This. This. This. This. This. This. This. This. This. This. This, th. This. This, th. This, th. This, th. This, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, th. th. th. th, th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. This is, thi. This is, thi. This is thi. This is thi. This is thi. This is th. This is th a mathematical constant that can be expressed as a ratio of a circle's circumference to its diameter. Hello, Theo. Hey, there you going. I'm great, how are you? Good. Did you like any digits? I mean, you know, you know, the digits for days? You do have digits for days. What if it turned out that there was magic in the numbers of pie? You know, like the whole, you know, it's a secret code in the, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, their, their, their, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea, thea, you know, like the whole, you know, it's a secret code in there. Yeah, it could be anything in there. That's how we knew that like the simulation was real. Yeah. This is like a legal notice. So the problem is that by that definition Pi also would encode the 14 words. That's true. Extremely racist number and also the kindest number. Do we know, like, I'm not a, you know, a math's whiz. If you have an infinite set of random numbers, which is essentially what pi is, right?

Yeah. Not random in the sense that they're, you know, but like... But if you take them statistically, they are, the digits are random, and they're uniform, yes. Is the certainty that any sequence of numbers thiiiiiiii that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that the that that that their their that that their that their their their their their, their, their, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. th. th. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, their, their, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you's, you's, you's, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I's thi. thii. thiiiiiiiiii. I's thii. I's thi. I's thi. I's thi. I's thi. I's thi. I. Is the certainty that any sequence of numbers will appear in there 100%? I believe so. That's wild. And again, that sequence of numbers would encode the racist 14 words made famous by... Mm-hmm. The man dictator of the Third Reich, Adolf Hitler. Okay. But it also maybe contained the lyrics to Informer by Snow. Oh, that is nice. Yeah, so, you know, there's real ups and doubts there.

I am going to tell you a story. And this is a story about a moral panic. And we as a society love those, and we particularly love moral panics as they relate to the youth. You know, every single generation is absolutely convinced that whatever new thing the kids have is fucking society up forever. So, you know, generally it's like a new piece of technology or it's some new fat or whatever. You know, it's in the 80s they're like, oh, Dungeons and Dragons is making kids into Satanists. You know, all things along those lines where there's not really anything that's happening there.

There was obviously like satanic panic was a massive thing, generally where they're like, well, this is what the kids are doing. They're doing human sacrifices. They weren't. Things. T weren't. T weren't. T. T. Te. Te. Te. Te. Te. Te. Te. Te. Te. Te. Te. Te. Te. T, th. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. th. T. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. All, thi. All, th. All, th. All, th. All, th. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. It's. It's. It's th. It's thin. It's the. It's the. It's the. It's the. It's the. It's the. It's the. It's th sort of stuff. But this one is from way before any of those things. This story starts in 1816. This kind of gives the game away, but this is from a website called Bicycle Network.com. I know exactly where you're going. In the terrible European summer of 1816, volcanic ash clouded the sun and snowfalls killed the crops.

The titanic eruption of Mount Tambora in far off Indonesia had plunged the whole world into a frigid gloom. In Germany, horses were slauded for the food they could provide, and the prolific inventor Carl Dreyes of Karlsruhe in the south-west of the country turned his mind to mind mind mind mind mind mind mind mind to to to an to an to to an to the to the the the the the the the the the the the prolific inventor Carl Dries of Karlsruhe in the southwest of the country turned his mind to an alternative. Good lord. I didn't realize bikes were so dark. It's a very insane thing to be like, all of the horses.

to be like, all of the horses. to be like, all of the horses are gone because we ate them. We ate for their flesh. In 1817, we had the Lalfe machine, which became known as the Dreyseen, a transport solution that has gone on to become today's bicycle and provide cheap mobility, independence and freedom to millions of people around the world. Drey's wasn't the first person to put two wheels in series, but he added steering and the concept and their their their their their their their their their their their their their their theiring and theiring and theiring and theiring and the concept theiring and the concept the concept the concept their their their their their flesh for their flesh for their flesh their flesh for their flesh for their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their flesh their flesh their flesh their flesh their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their to millions of people around the world. Dries wasn't the first person to put two wheels in series, but he added steering and the concept of the bicycles. Yeah, well, classically the other models.

Where are you going today? Exactly in front of me. That is the one place. Oh, have a pleasant time. These, the Laf machine became insanely popular in France they became today known as velocipedes which I love very much. Yeah in 1864 a Parisian carriage maker named Pierre Michaud had the genius idea of adding pedals to the device. This is 47 years after people.

Just like start at the top of a hill or you're fucked. Well, they'd been flinting around at them. That is, so for half a century, people would like, there must be another way. This in turn led to the development of the penny farthing. Because people wanted to be able to go faster. Obviously, if you have a larger wheel, one rotation means a longer distance. That's right.

Without the complex gearing that we have today. Yes, so you have the penny farthing, but obviously for that very same reason, the amount of talk required to get that going is a lot more. Yeah. So you had to be quite physically strong to use a penny farthing. There are also other things about them that fucking sucked. They had no form of suspension or anything of that nature, but they also didn't have pneumatic tires either. No, okay. So every bump in the road you've felt.

Yeah. And you're going to feel that right up in your, in your nooks and in your crannies. It is a really really really really a really a really a really a really a really a really a really a really a really a really a really a really a really a really a really a really a really a really a really a really a really a really a really a really a really a really a really a really a really a really a really a really a really a really a really a really a really a really a really a really a really a really a really a really a really th. It's a really th. th. th. th. th. th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's. It's. It's. It's. A th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It's a thi. It's a thi. It's a tee.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a. It's t common problem as well that just because of the way that was shaped, you would hit a bump and you would go flying over the handlebars forwards. So it was considered a very masculine pursuit because, I mean, you literally couldn't ride one wearing a dress. You also just, you had to be quite physically strong to do it. So it wasn't a practical or viable transport solution. I mean basically the way just just just just just just just just just that that the that the that the th. the th. th. th. the th. th. th. the th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. thi, thi, thi. thi. thi, thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi. thi. th. th. th. You would would would would would would th. You would th. You would, th. You th. You, th. You, th. You, th. It is is, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, the th. It's, the the the thi. It's, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, the theeeeeeeean. It's, right, right, right, right, right, the thi. And, the thi. And, thi. And, transport solution. I mean, basically, the way the penny fathering was used back then is exactly the same way it's used today is that eccentrics use them.

Absolute freaks do it for fun. Okay. So, like, we kind of think of penny farthing as sort of something that's quite dandy, whereas it's sort of more like their times, their times, times, times, times, times, times, times, times, times, times, times, times, times, times, times, times, times, times, theau' thas, thauia' thauicick, tha-s, thea' thauitesites, thauitesitesitesitesites, thauniten, thaunxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx, the a, the a, toda, toda, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, and today, today, and thtoday, and thinin, and thin, and thin, thin, anda' andxininateatsia'anananititenes, thaeats, thauicicicicananananananitit, thauia Yes. It's exactly the same. You have to be a very cool, strong guy to use the penny farthing. Although, yeah, this is, if you ever see someone on a penny farthing, you have my full permission to bully them. It's an awful pursuit. Their life is forfeit.

It is second only to the unicycle in terms of worst-wheeled contraptions you can travel on. You know, once a year, you'll see someone like riding around the streets of Brisbane on a unicycle, it just ruins your date. I saw someone like fucking eat shit on a unicycle and King George Square once. And it was just, I'm like, I nearly stood up and applauded. Like it was just so good. I used to see one all the time walking to work in a city city, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, the the city, the city, the city, the city, the city, the city, the city, the city, the city, the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. to, like, to, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. the they. the they. the the used to see one all the time walking to work in the city. He'd be on like the river walk. I just be like fucking, he's like looking around hoping people will look at him and notice. Hey, hey, I'm on a unicycle. I am on a unicycle, you fuck.

So this, the bicycle wasn't really popular in the form of a penny farthing, but the 1880s and the 1890 saw the development of something called the safety bicycle, which is essentially the bicycle that we have today. There were a bunch of different designs, but the diamond frame that we use now arose in that period. And we've basically since then been like, this is fucking sick. So its key features were they started putting pneumatic tires on them, so that they weren't quite so fucking awful to use. The frames were lighter, they had gearing, not changed gearing, but there's a small gear where the pedal is to a large, the opposite of that. Large gear where the pedal is, small gear to the back.

Whichever one works. So you had a better ratio there, the ties were the same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their, thierierierier, their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thierierierierierierierierierierierierierierierierierierierierier is. the. the. the. tiee. tiee. tiee. tieeer. tieeatr. tieeatr. tieeatri. tiee. tiee. their gear. their gearing. their gearing. their gear and you could, like a normal person could use them essentially. That was the great strength of them. The advent of this, the modern bicycle, turned the bicycle from a thing for hobbyists and weirdos into a practical transport option for everyday use. I would still say that weirdos can still use a bike. They can. But it's not a requirement anymore. It's optional to be an absolute fucking freak and get on your bicycle.

It was much easier than looking after a horse as fast as that the truth. Yeah, and bicycle doesn't have a mind of its own. No. They can't disagree with you. You can't have a Socratic dialogue with your bicycle, unless you are one of the free kind of teeth. They do have the free teeth. The horses, wrong kind of teeth. They do have the wrong kind of teeth. Well I don't know if someone loaded the wrong texture. It's just...

What we were doing that? It's not right. The more time I spend with my mom's horses, the more I'm just like, one of these days, one of these positives, right? They sort of opened them up to parts of the middle class and some of the richer parts of the working class, and they made you able to cover much longer distances, which, you know, obviously, fantastic. Unfortunately, this was also the start of the end of society. That is true.

Which is a shame. You can plot a direct course from the safety bike to now. Yeah, to coronavirus. That's a show. So the novel coronavirus. So I'm going to read you some excerpts from the 11th volume of the Brooklyn Medical Journal, it's published in 1897. It is an article written by a medical doctor named E.D. Page. The name of the article is Woman and the B. Mm-hmm. Yep. And it begins as thus. Much is being written and more said upon the above topic, the cycle for women has its votaries and also those who condemn it.

The writer, for various reasons, can see where it is a source of injury, and for these reasons, its use as advocated and recommended by the profession should be conservative. So he then launches into tackling the several the several the several the several the the the the the the the the the the the profession, should be conservative. So he then launches into tackling the several aspects of the woman on bicycles debate as he sees it. The salient features of woman on bicycle. Yeah, the key points.

He starts with the supposed health benefits. Physicians and others advocating its use by women claim that it develops the muscles of the arms, legs and body as well as those of respiration, thereby increasing chest measure. Now I don't think what he's saying is, this will give women bigger titties. No. Although, have we tried? Have we considered it?

Also that it is modifying the dress of woman so that she is naturally more healthy from the fact that tight lacing's corsets have to be discarded or so modified that the abdominal muscles as well share in the general benefit. This aside from the pleasure of cycling appears to constitute its leading benefit, i.e. that it makes woman a stronger animal. All right, so several notes. Yes. Is he saying that, so there's health benefits because you have to take your corset off to ride it? Yes, which I think he is probably...

Which they haven't considered doing... They could probably just get rid of the corset anyway. They don't need a bike as an excuse. Well, that's a very controversial claim and he will get into that. Well, this fucking sucks, but we have not considered any other options. We haven't invented the bicycle yet. Second of all, yep. Makes woman a stronger animal is a very strange phrase to me. Extremely odd.

It's useful woman, as a necessity cannot be established, as only the working class would claim it on that ground as a means of getting to and from business. And as we know, not, not where women go. No, no, because unless you're working class, women don't do anything. So why would they need it? The cost of the machine, keeping it in repair and storage for winter, make it a luxury, hence not expedient. The writer claims that the principal muscles developed in its use are those of

the leg and thigh. That little muscular development of the arms comes from it, as there is comparatively little use for the arms in cycling except in mounting and dismounting, as when one becomes thoroughly master of the cycle, very little effort keeps it balanced and guides it, which are the principal uses of the arms in the erect position in which women ride. That the muscular action of the legs and thighs may increase their size and firmness, less with the ankle movement however, is true, yet this is also true. That women ride so long and steadily, they quote, run the flesh all off them, as they say, and this is the tendency. As they say, I don't know who is quoting here. There is a fascination about it that leads to immoderate exercise

and then it is positively harmful in a general way. I can't get a lead on this guy. A big thigh is good or bad? Does he like it dummy thick or is he's? He's making a concession here that maybe it is healthy but they do it too much so all of their muscles fall off. Yeah, the flesh, they run the flesh all off them. Last week we forbade a patient to the wheel altogether and sent her away to the country.

And sent her away to the country for a change. This is some classic 1800s doctor shit. No more bicycles. We forbid the the wheel it the wheel the wheel the wheel. We they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they do it. We the wheel. We do it. We do it. We do it. They do it. They do it the wheel it. They the th. They do it. They do it. They do it so th so much it so much it so much it so much it so much it so much. They th so much. So. They the mu mu. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. We th. We th. It the. It the. It the. It the. It the. It the. It the the the. No more bicycles, go to the country. We forbid the wheel. We forbade them the wheel. I love that people make fun of deadwood for like having modern day swearing or whatever because if they were like, if they wrote you the wheeled, sir. Everyone just sounds stupid and that's true. People from the past sound dumb as hell. She had wheeled away about 15 pounds this summer. Legs, thighs, arms, chest and all her muscles had decreased in size here. Overdoing it? Yes, but that is the tendency. That is the harm. So his argument is that women get hooked on cycling and they get too shredded.

So this argument about the health impact of bicycling, bicycling, if you will. Well, that's the way you do it. That's true. I do it both ways. It was widely used as a proxy just to stop women from doing it, right? Because as we'll get into it, there are a lot of reasons why they don't like it, but the health one was the one that they thought sounded like the most rational. So this is from a different article.

This is from an 1897 article, same year in the National Review from a medical doctor named A. Sadwell. They don't have, they've all just got initials. They're all. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. Didn't have first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first. It. It. It. It. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's from. It's from. It's from. It's from. It's. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It.B. Farnham, mothuckers. T. Bartholomew, Hogswollop. The after effects of cycling, says an experienced rider and one accustomed to far more violent forms of exercise. A quite different... Yes. PT cruiser, a bear wrestler. Tries his hand at the wheel. These after effects are quite different from those of any other out-to exercise, which I am acquainted and less pleasant. Even a short ride leaves me with a pallid face, a palpitating heart, the beginnings of a headache, and a tendency to insomnia. I've been riding my bike all day day and now I can't sleep anymore.

Another speaks of the, quote, peculiar form of nervous exhaustion and, quote, that strained feeling which led to insomnia and headache. A third, the quote, holder of many cups one on the running path and river, declares himself, quote, quite unable to cycle, as even a short run on the machine path and river, declares himself, quote, quite unable to cycle, as even a short run on the machine at the easiest of paces gives me a severe headache. A fourth, sufficiently robust to have covered 150 miles of hilly road in a day, confesses to, quote, having experienced the unpleasant sensations described. A fifth, who has ridden every sort of machine from the bone shaker

onwards. Come on. From the bone shaker onwards is my favorite black metal pants. Tonight's headliners, bring me the rise in it from the bone shaker on this. Testifies to having experienced, quote, great nervous exhaustion, loss of appetite, restlessness at night, and the next day a very low, irritable, depressed feeling. A sixth, quote, victim to the errors of cycling suffered a complete breakdown after 12 years riding, during which, quote, nervous symptoms and weakness of the heart's action gradually grew upon him.

After going abroad to regain his health, he took it up again with a result that my heart and nerves have suffered perhaps beyond repair this time. I was blaming everything on the bike. I'd love the fucking quietness of me, like, well, I went to Spain to get better. I suffered a wandering wife after three days on the wheel. A seventh assures us that the, quote, symptoms complained of, headache, insomnia, etc. were known and recognized as an evil 16 or 18 years ago. We had two decades of the evil of cycling, ruining everyone. Basically ancient history by this point.

So Shadwell says that it's not just the physical exertion of riding a bike that does it. There must be some other peculiar aspect of being on a bicycle. An injury of the soul. A spiritual quality to it. He goes as thus. Various causes are assigned for these nervous troubles. Some blame the saddle, others the vibration or the mechanical defects of the machine, and no doubt anything which increases discomfort tends to aggravate the mischief. All these factors are common to the tricycle which has been found void of offense. So the tricycle he's referring to is not the tricycle as you would make you picture it.

Imagine if you took the two big penny farthing wheels, put an axle between them, had a seat above the axle, and pedals on the axle, and then one little stabilizing wheel out the front, or well yeah, generally on the front Ithink, for some reason. But this was what women went in because you would sit in it, like it's a carriage. Okay. Yeah, so he's saying that those don't cause women to go insane, yeah. The Vera Causer seems to lie in the extreme instability of the two-wheeled machine, which can never be left to itself for a single moment without dismal. I've seen cyclists at traffic lights, you can stay balanced. They do it all the time. So when I used to ride to work, there was one day that I kind of...

Which is a very big ride, by the way. It's an enormously long ride. It's a long way to ride from where I live to the city. I kind of got to, I'd gone over to his hill, which sucks immensely. And I got to, like, to the bottom, and I used cleats, and I sort of arrived at a, because you're a professional. At the, uh, crossing, the pedestrian crossing, but bikes use it. And I pressed the button, and that button press was enough to just give me that little destabilizing nudge I needed to tip and the whole process took about 20 seconds.

You sort of try to angle the wheel to counterbalance you fall. And I just went, and I fell straight over in full view of like, you know, 20 cars. So I, what, is this how you hurt yourself that time? No, no, I hurt myself. So, Caitlin and I were, we, there's a bike path near us, and I was riding along and we kind of went around a bend and when I got around there, there was a man and a dog just stopped in the path all of a sudden, so I hit the brakes very, very quickly, but there was like a dip in the road there, so, so, so, so, there, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, that, that, the the that, the that, so, that, the the the the the the the the the, so the, so, so, so, so, the, so, so, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, their, their that sudden. So I hit the brakes very, very quickly, but there was like a dip in the road there.

So when I hit the brakes, my wheel wasn't touching. And so when it hit the ground, my wheel just stopped. And I went head over the bike and slammed my head on the ground. The guy like was very, very nice and his dog was kind of cool. And I was absolutely munted until I threw up, and then I was good. And then the dog ate the sick. So you got the bad humors out of your body. I got extremely bad humors.

The humors contained dumplings. Well dogs love that. And they do. If you, if you want to give your dog a treat, just vomit some, vomit some dumplings for them. Have a head injury. Have a head, after having eaten dumplings. Massive head injury. I went and did a, my quantum physics exam the next day.

Oh my God. I call up QUT and they're like, yeah, we can't promise you that like if you don't come in that we won't fail you. So probably the best thing to do is just to come in and take the exam and then apply for special consideration afterwards because due to the, you know, the massive head injury that you just suffered. That we can't do anything about. My humors were fucked. Dr. Shadwell continues, in this respect, bicycling differs from any other occupation whatever. The strain of

attending to it may not be very great in itself, sometimes it is and sometimes it is not, but it never ceases. And this incessant tension is the thing which tells upon the nerves. How incessant it is the demeanor of most riders declares with an emphasis which still excites ridic, ridices the ridices ridices ridices ridices ridices ridices ridices ridics ridics ridics ridics ridics ridics ridics ridics ridics ridics ridics ridics ridics ridics ridics ridics ridics ridics ridics ridics ridics ridics ridics ridiculous ridiculous ridiculous ridiculous ridiculous ridiculous ridiculous ridiculous ridiculous ridiculous ridiculous to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their their their their the thing which tells upon the nerves. How incessant it is, the demeanor of most riders declares with an emphasis which still excites ridicule familiar as the site has become. Some time ago, I drew attention to the peculiar strained set look often associated with his pastime, and called it the bicycle face. The general adoption of the phrase since then indicates a general recognition of its justice. Some where the quote face more and some less marked but nearly all have it except the small

boys who care little for croppers. Is this still the doctor by the way? It's still a medical doctor published in a national magazine. Has anybody ever seen persons on bicycles talking and laughing and looking jolly like persons engaged in any other amusement? Never, I swear. Doubtless they can at a pinch, but in practice they don't. All their attention is given up to the road and the machine. With set faces, eyes fixed before them, and an expression either anxious, irritable, or at best stony, they peddle away,

looking neither to the right nor to the left, save for an instantaneous flash, and speaking not at all, except a word flung gasping over the shoulder at most. It is this strange and unhuman gravity, which excites the ridicule and hostility of ofthe streetcad and the dull-witted rustic alike. Even idiot country people think they look dumb. I'm trying to think of what the modern day equivalent of this is. Of the bicycle face?

And I remember one day I was standing in front of Brisbane's Brisbane's own Roma Street Transit Center. One of the great transit centers in the world, which no longer exists. Um, in the process of being demolished, I would say. And I was getting coffee and there was a man in full suit holding a coffee, riding down the road on a long board. That rules. That is riding it competently? Yes, extremely confidently. Competently or incompetently?

Extremely competently. That's fucking cooler shit. I support this guy. He's the one suit that I support. He had a ponytail. I am off the this guy trade. Off team longboard. So so far we've got, it makes women waste away, it causes the bicycle face.

There are other concerns, so this is back to our friend Dr. Page in the Brooklyn Medical Journal. It's also changing how women dress. As to the changes in dress, which may be of benefit to women, we all hail them. And yet, we have been to ask if these changes are permanent or only for the purpose of enabling her to ride the wheel more easily. Does she modify her dress so that she discards her tight lacing when she enters the drawing room or does she return to them? If the former, then it is a reform. If the latter, then it is not a reform, and she has to work harder at night to bring her corsets the corsets together the corsets together the corsets together together the ca to the cors, to the cors, to to to the to to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, to be to to be to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tie. tieu. the the the the thea. thea. thea. toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe. to work harder at night to bring her corsets together than if she had not used the looser fitting cycle corset during the day.

You can't go back to the constrictor because you've been unconstricted all day. A reform is also claimed for the shorter dress skirt, carrying with it comfort and freedom of gate not afforded by the longer skirts. The short one is easier, but does not a woman resume the long dress skirt after the day's cycling and when she returns to her home? Where the reform then, except for just the time on the wheel, it's only object there to enable her to ride easier. A real reform is one rather that she couples with her daily life and duties, and isn't it true that in these she discards bicycle, suit and all? If so, where is the dress reform? Where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the dress reform? Where the argument for it saves you apply it to woman on the wheel. So he's doing some Ben Shapiro style facts and logic. So he's saying,

oh well maybe it is good where reforming women's dress but we're not really doing it. They're not really because they're getting back into it. They're just putting the normal clothes back on after they're on the bike. So checkmate leftists. You're done. He the the the the the the the the suit the suit. the suit. the the suit. the the suit. the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. tee. te. te. teee. teeeee. te. te. te. te. te. te. te on the bike. So checkmate leftists, you're done. He continues here. As to the suits worn, many of them are neat and natty and perfectly modest, but they are modest in proportion as they approach the ground. Our civilization requires that a woman from the age of puberty on should wear a dress reaching the floor. Its object seemingly to protect her from comment, a question of delicacy, and is a custom which is firmly fixed, stage women and Mary Walker seeming about the only exceptions to the advent

of the cycle. So Mary Walker was an American medical doctor who she was a big figure in the abolitionist movement and she was also a big figure in suffragette movement as well. She wore pants, is what he's alluding to here, is that there are a lot of dope, old-timy photos of her wearing like, she's got a fucking Civil War era military outfit on. She's doing like the hand in the pocket thing. Yeah. There's just people just falling into aneurysms like wherever she walks. She got arrested multiple times. There's like a, I was reading about it today there was a the the the the the the the th, the th, th, th, th, th, thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, ti, ti, ti, ti, ti, ti-a, ti-a, ti-a, ti-a, ti-a, ti-a, ti-a, ti-a, ti-a, ti, ti-a, ti-a, ti, ti-a, ti, ti, ti, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, is, is thi, is a thi, is a thi, is a ti, is a ti-s, ti-s, ti-y-si-y-si-si-y-si-si-y-si-sii-y-y-s, ti- walks. She got arrested multiple times. There's like a, I was reading about it today, there was a time she was arrested in New Orleans

where a cop arrested her because she was wearing pants and was like, have you even had sex with a man before? Which is a weird throw to a woman? Is it true then that all else have been wrong and that Madame Walker was really right, even th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, th all else have been wrong and that Madame Walker was really right even though the object of adverse criticism all these years? Well if it's so bad, why do some people not want change? Is the cycle to teach us this reform? If reform it be, if cycling will teach woman to lace less and show her that a more perfect health in a measure depends upon a freedom of action of all the muscles of her makeup, then give it that full

reward of merit and let us hail the reform, even though woman's waste measure is several inches greater, as some of its graceful tapering may have disappeared. You losing that hourglass, and he's real depressed about it. God. This guy just lives that dump truck ass. He does. Uh, he also really didn't like some of the other solutions that women came up with for clothes that they could wear while they were on the bicycle. The different kinds of bloomers and open skirts make their wearers objects of

ridicule more frequently than otherwise, and we have heard the most caustic remarks passed upon the wearers of some of these styles of suits, and justly... They're right to abuse these women. They're being harassed in the streets, and I as a medical doctor writing a medical journal support this. The public streets seem no place for such. Others discard all suits worn by women and simply wear tight-fitting men's suits. Comment is unnecessary. If a woman wears it appears on the streets in a man's suit or some of the extremes in bloomers and open suits, she seemingly forgets she is a woman.

That's because gender is fake. That's largely what's happened here. The press reported recently the case of a lady teacher, who, in bloomers, appeared before her class of boys being too late to change her suit as the suit........ to to to change to change to change to change her to change her suit.. to change to change to change her suit to change her suit to change her suit to change to change to change to change the suit the suit to change to change to change to to to to to to the suit the suit to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the streets to the streets to the streets to to to to to to the s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s their their their suit. their suit their suit their suit the s their suit the. theateate. theateateate. theateate. theateate. theateate. their their their the lady teacher who, in bloomers, appeared before her class of boys being too late to change her suit as was her custom. The gying the boys gave her, broke up the class in Tomalt. Hate it what that happens. It's just boys being gying. Just boys. It caused her to be summoned before the proper board for an explanation. Why was that improper dress for her as a teacher, if not, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the, the, their, their, th...., thi, thi, their, their, their, their, their, toe, their, tooom. tooom, tooom. their, tooom. tooing, tooom, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thoom.a.a.a. thoomb. too. tooe. tooe. tooe. tooe. tooe. tooe. tooe. their, tooe. their, their before the proper board for an explanation.

Why was that improper dress for her as a teacher, if not as a lady? Women have been known to dismount and try to defend themselves from the criticisms of onlookers which were overheard by them, considering themselves insulted. The ability of a woman to descend herself from insult is commendable, but she forgets she invites the criticism by her dress in the first place. And her sensitive to the criticism is acknowledgement of its justness. So because you're upset that people insulted you, they were right to insult you. What a prick!

This guy sucks so much. For a woman to defend herself under such circumstances seems unnatural and untenable in as much as she aims to defend herself in a wrong position. Such defense is not intended to increase in any degree the respect she tries to enforce. So he continues here. Said a doctor friend to me, what if she does show her legs? The idea of a long or short dress is all conventional. True, yet in countries where no dress is worn at all, 75% of the

inhabitants are illegitimate. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. I'm not sure about his statistics there. That's incredible. The manner of dress there is conventional also.

These extremes in dress give a carriage to our women, oft times that is open to criticism and invites the comment of the onlooker. All riders are thus frequently classed alike as bicycle women, which is unjust to those modestly dressed. It oft times lessens the estimation in which women are held by men. A married patient purchased her first pair of cycle boots. When the shuman had laced them to the height of her usual boots, she said, that will do.

He stopped, looked at her in the face and said, young woman, you'll show your legs, a good deal higher than that before you've rode a bicycle long. he then raise the to her knees and lace the boot to the top amid her confusion. Five years ago that would have cost him his dismissal. Today woman submits to it because it is a fad. This is the first step in the loss of modesty and delicacy are the modusty and delicacy, elements of character peculiarly women's in which her charm. Now I just agree with that that that thia thia thia thia thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I thi. I thi. thi. the the. I the. thi. thi. the is a the is a the. the. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I is thi. I is thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm the. I'm the. I'm theooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooomeoome. I is a toe just agree with that entirely because I would say modesty and delicacy are my two favorite traits in you. Oh it's a real cross-gender sort of thing that could appear in anyone. Anyone at all? Anyone at all. Somehow the reasons that I have given to you so far... Which are ironclad? They are not the worst ones that have been offered. Okay.

Here are some I will account. Iron clad. Iron clad. They are not the worst ones that have been offered. Okay. And here we go. Here are some I will account. The bicycle also teaches masturbation in women and girls. The subtle resting against the labia majora, as it does by a slight inclination forward, it is easy to accomplish it. It also injures the labia and the bruising and chafing there from compel the rider to forer to forer to forer to fora to forgoe to forgoe the rider the rider to forgoe the rider the rider the rider the rider to forgoe the rider the rider the rider the rider to foregoe the rider the rider to foregoe the rider to foregoe to foregoe It also injures the labia, and the bruising and chafing therefrom compel the rider to forego the wheel until recovery.

Four cases of this kind have been under my observation, and one of masturbation. Yeah, I bet you've been fucking watching the masturbating lady. In securing material for the moral side of the question, the rider visited West End at Coney Island. Hundreds of cyclists check their wheels there, going down the boulevard. Scores of girls under 18 years of age are seen there in bicycle suits. Some accompanied others being followed by strange men till occasionally their company was accepted.

One, about 16 years of age, we saw enticed by a beautifully dressed woman, brackets a prostitute in cycle suit, to take a glass of wine. Those days you could just say, I saw someone get sucked off. Yeah, no, it has to be a prostitute in a cycle suit, my favorite credence clear water song. He was encouraged to have a drink if you know what I mean. One of the six young men who had joined in this scheme ordered the wine... Is it talking about fucking?

Yeah, I assume so. One of the six young men who had joined in the scheme ordered the wine loaded. We heard him. Is that like putting spirits into your wine, maybe? It has to be. And this is the bike's problem. Yeah, this is what the bike does. The girl was sued in their power and was being marched off for immoral purposes amid the delight of her captors who agreed among themselves not to give it away.

She looked like an innocent child, but was away from home influence. The girl at that age had not power to resist all that influence, keen and friendly at first, but commanding, as soon as she was intoxicated. Hundreds of girls slipped down thereby this means, unknown to their parents, and scores are ruined thereby. These girls are not bad girls naturally, we believe, and would not have been so save for that visit there per wheel. Oh, if it wasn't for that awful bicycle. Making my beautiful perfect daughter. Otherwise, they would have been at home or at least elsewhere other than being subjected to the violent influences. So it's the problem that they can go too far from her, like, it's given the mobility. And this is the same thing that they said about the car when it became sort of affordable for young people to have one. There's sort of like a horizon, thion, thion, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th, th, th, th, th, my thi, my thi, my thi, my thi, my thi, my thi, my thi, my thi, my thi, my my thi, my, my, my my, my, my, my, my, my my thi, my, my my my, my thi, my my thi, my thi, my th th th th th th th th th th th th my, my, my th my, my thi, my thi, my thi, my thi, my thi, my thi, my beautiful, my beautiful, my beautiful, my beautiful, my beautiful, my beautiful, my beautiful, that, my beautiful, my beautiful, that, my beautiful, my beautiful, my that, my that, my thi, my thi, my thi the same thing that they said about the car when it became sort of affordable for young people to have one.

There's sort of like a horizon if you can imagine like dad sitting on the porch. And he's watching his daughter disappear over it. And she's like, well, until now it's being, well, this is as far as I can walk without ruining my humours. Before it was a four-hour walk to Blow Job City, and now it's a 27-minute ride. I just really like the end of that paragraph where he says, otherwise it would have been home or at least elsewhere other than being subjected to the vile influences of West End. Usually when I hear that, I think of say, white people getting dreadlocks.

Yeah. Hmm. Different times. Up in New York we hear has its tristing place where scores of girls check their wheels and lay themselves open to most regretful comment. Roller skating became unpopular because of a few unfortunate cases of wrongdoing. I have no idea to what this is referring in the slightest. The protection of a large number of skates is being present meantime. Judge from the same standpoint, isn't it true that many more indiscretions occur through the medium of the wheel than did through roller skates? Certainly true. And if so, why protect the one and condemn the other? The riding astride is also too too manish to be proper for a woman. So something happened with a roller skates. the roll roll roll roll roll. the roll. A roll. A roll. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A to th. A th. A to a large. A to to a large to to a large to a large to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their condemned the other. The riding astride is also too manish to be proper for a woman. So something happened with a roller skates and everyone's gone,

no more. It's just like so, so indelibly baked into their like common zeitgeist that everyone knows. Everyone knows what happened with the roller skates. Oh. The daughter of a patient is engaged to a young man, an ardent cyclist and a member of a cycle club, but he insists that his fiance shall not learn the wheel. He takes his own bike and just breaks it. He will never learn the wheel.

This wheel is not for you. The fellow feeling of bicyclist leads her to accept the words of strange men as well, the wheels serving as the go-between. There is no more an excuse than the fact that each have feet. You don't have anything in common just because you both ride bikes all right. This is how he concludes the article. To measure, select, and utilize all the different elements that enter into our complex and shifting civilization in such a way that the good may remain and the bad be excluded is no mean task. The education of the moral and the intellectual side of our natures unquestionably results

in the highest degree of civilization possible to attain. Other things being equal, the stronger the animal, the stronger the intellect. The part of the wheel plays... I don't believe that that's true. If you're in any regard. Lions have 150 plus IQs. The part of the wheel plays the moral side of women's life seems on the whole of questionable advantage. Now I keep accidentally saying women's life, or women's life. In every single instance he has said of woman's life. He's talking of womanhood as a whole. The part of the wheel plays in the moral side of woman's life seems on the whole of questionable advantage. Not but the thousands ride unharmed, but that the thousands don't.

What the duty then of the former toward the ladder and the community toward each. Judged by the standard up to the advent of the wheel, it certainly cannot be endorsed. If on the other hand, less care in these respects is to be required of woman and a shifting of the standard is to be made, some of the extremes of suits seen thus early provokes the question, where will it end? And what the final result is a of dress and with a tricycle, and she already rides tandem dressed in men's suits or with loose-fitting trousers without skirt. As to the exercise of making her stronger, that may be true in many cases, yet the dangers to her health in toto seem possibly greater than the promised benefits, and many of these dangers are a constant menace to the practice.

So far as this matter enters into the health of women, it is a question peculiarly the physicians. So far as it toubtsuile of women, it is also a question which he is more or less interested as a member of society, and the prestige of his profession gives him an opportunity to be a positive factor for or against. And we believe that after a thorough discussion of this matter among physicians, the wheel will be disfavored for reasons of health alone. In this, we are aware of the great diversity of opinion and of the varied professional

experiences and that the future will lend additional light upon salient points. While as to its moral effect, there is steadily growing understanding of public sentiment that it is degrading woman. Wonderful. So he's absolutely right. Women aren't allowed to ride the bike. We decided to throw every bicycle to the sea. I love historic examples of like scientific minds being just completely wrong.

There's this quote I read from Renee Descartes, who was like, if the speed of light is finite, then my whole world is fucked. I guess it is, buddy. So that guy obviously was an absolute crackpot, although he did represent a fair chunk of public opinion, but it was not the only opinions available on the subject at the time. There are some nice ones. Some other incredibly normal opinions. So, you know, a lot of the stuff is th th the the th th th the th th th the th th th th th is finite the th is finite is finite thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thineight thineight thineight thineight thineight is finite is finite is finite is finite is finite is finite is finite is finite is finite is finite is finite is finite is finite is finite is finite is finite thineite thineite thine thine thine thine thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the speed the speed the speed the speed thi the speed the thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi available on the subject at the time. There are some nice ones.

I shouldn't just some other incredibly normal opinions. So, you know, a lot of the stuff he's saying is fucking insane, but also it did represent a new kind of freedom that middle class women didn't have before, right? Like the traditional view of the world was that men, well, women had inside the house and women had every single other place in the world. And that was just how that operated and that was sort of very easy to police. Whereas now they could just, they could take the 27-minute ride to Blowjob City. That was available to them. Or they could just go visit friends or they could explore.

So this is a lovely quote from bicycle enthusiast Maria E Ward Ward in her 1896 book, Bicycling for Ladies. Riding the wheel, our own powers are revealed to us. You have conquered a new world and exultingly you take possession of it. You feel at once the keenest sense of responsibility. You become alert, active, quick-sided and keenly alive to the rights of others as to what is due yourself. To the many who wish to be actively at work in the world, the opportunity has come. It's quite nice. So another nice one here, this is a bit florid. This is from playwright Marguerite Merrington in an 1895 article she wrote. Now and again a complaint arises of the narrowness of woman's fear. For such disorder of the soul a sufferer can do no better than to flatten her

sphere to a circle, mount it and take it to the road. I began to feel that myself plus the bicycle equaled myself plus the world upon whose spinning wheel we must all learn to ride or fall into the the sluice ways of oblivion and despair. It's true tod th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th so th th th so th so thoe tho-todue. It's so that's so tho-it tho-soared tho-soffed tho-soffed tho-soffi tho-soffi tho-soffiol-soffiol-soffiol-soffi-soffi-soffi-soffi-s tho-s tho-s tho-s tho-s tho-s tho-s tho-s tho-s tho-s tho-s the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the toe toe. toe toe. toe. toeaauu-s toeau-s. toeau-s. toeau-s'-s'-s'-s'-s'-s'-s'-s'-s to ride or fall into the sluice ways of oblivion and despair. It's true today as it was. It's so true. But how nice does it feel going for like a big bike ride? It feels absolutely wonderful. The world is your oyster and it's not like when you're in a car where you're separate

to the environment around you. Yeah, you're taking it in, you can smell it, you can, you can smell, you can smell, you can smell, you're the to the to smell, you're, you it, you can feel it. It's wonderful. You have an actual sense of speed which is very, you know, you're quite divorced from it in a car. Plus it masturbates you. Yeah, and that's the best thing is that everybody loves to have their balls kind of a very, very long time. The, uh, I completely understand the rationale behind the type of cycling ly that has the padded area around the sort of taint. taint, taint, but, but, taint, but, taint, tane, but, tai, but, ta, t, t, ta, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, and th, and th, th, and th, and th, th, thi, thi, and thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, cycling lycro that has the padded area around the sort of taint, but it looks very funny. It looks incredibly funny to protect your taint. It does. I would rather experience taint pain than have the taint protector on. But I guess I'm just different that way.

So that concludes the moral nightmare of bicycles. I believe you have something for me. Oh, Ben, I do. Now, may I ask you initially a question? Oh, that what is the, what is the stinkiest thing in the world? Uh, when potatoes rot. Oh, that sucks. Yeah, I, when I first, like moved into my own place in Brisbane, I bought a big bag of potatoes, grand plans, coming undone. That sucks, yeah. When I first moved into my own place in Brisbane, I bought a big bag of potatoes, grand plants, coming undone almost immediately when I smoked my weight and weed

and forgot that the potatoes existed for about nine months. Yep. And then the whole thing just, yeah, it's awful. I don't know what sort of alchemy makes a potato go bad, considering how hardy they usually are. Yeah, it is, it is, but the, but the, but the, but the, but the, but the, but the, but the, but the, it is, it is, but the the the the the the the the the the th, it is, it sucks, it sucks, it sucks, it sucks, the the thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, thi, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, th. th. tha, tha, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks, yeah, it's awful. I don't know what sort of alchemy makes a potato go bad, considering how hardy they usually are. Yeah, it is odd, but there's a turning point, isn't there? There's just that that titration of rot. You need one part to go bad and the whole thing will. In my experience in the four and a half years I spent working in the produce at various supermarkets. I've smelled every kind of bad fruit or vegetable

smell that there is to be had and potato and watermelon are by far the worst of each. We similarly we grew some watermelons just like from seed in the backyard and it was great but then the crows started getting at them and they just poked holes in them once they were like mid-sized and then they they rot from the outside in and they just turn absolutely ranced. We.. the the the their. their. their their their their their th. their their their th. their th. their their their their th. their their their their their their their th. th. th. their to their toe. their is. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. I. I. their. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm. I'm. I'm to. to. to. to. to. to. to. t. tot. tot. tote. to. tote. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. tote. tote. their. them once they were like mid-sized and then they rot from the outside in and they just turn absolutely rancid. We are one of the supermarkets I was working and we got a delivery of you know we get watermelon in these like 300 kilo cardboard bins and a rat had gotten into a bunch of them so it had eaten its way into the inside of the flesh and then allowed that to be exposed to the elements and holy fuck that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. the. the. the. tho. thea. thoooooooooooooooooooooo. the. thea. thea. they were. they were they were they were they were the to be exposed to the elements and holy fuck that was one of the worst days of my life. No, thank you. So, probably about a week ago, I had the thought,

what is the smelliest thing? What is the, like, so, smell as a sense, serves to warn us, you know, from things that are rotten, that are, you know, thi, thiiiiiii.... th, th, thi.. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. they's, they's, they's, they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. What, they. What, what, what, what, what, what, they. What, they. What, they. What, they. What, they. What, they. they. they. they. they. thi. thi. thin. thi. thin. th. th. th. th. toe. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. go near. But I wanted to know whether there were smells that were so bad on their own as to be hazardous to life. Oh, like the same way that something could be so loud, it could deafen you, so bright it could blind you. It's sort of like a lovecraftian smell that separates the body and love soul. Yeah, actually, I learned a fun thing the other day because I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thee, thee, thee, thee, thee, thi, the, thee, thee, thee, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, th, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th, th, th, th, th..... th. So, thr-s, thr-s, thr-s, thr-s, thr-s, thr-s, thr-s, thrown, thr-s, thrown, theeean, thooooooooo, thean, thean, thoo, the, th thing the other day because I was, I don't know who I was talking to about this, about you know how like a bright flash can wake you up if you're as like a sleep and that your eyes will see.

Yeah, and like lightning goes off or whatever. Yeah, or a loud sound can wake you up. Yeah, or a loud sound can't. You can't be woken up. Interesting. saying that they were like, oh, the smell of something burning woke me up and I'm like, I don't know if your brain is processing smell and I looked into it and it doesn't. Fascinating. Yeah. So I kind of went down this rabbit hole of of smells, a smelly little hole. I went down. So let's start at the natural. Have you ever had a jurion? Yes, I have. How's the smell? Bad. It's quite bad. They're like banned. They're like the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. th. their th. th.. How's the smell? Bad. It's quite bad. They're like banned on public transport, right? Yeah, absolutely. So novelist Anthony Burgess, who I believe wrote Clockwork Orange? Yeah, that sounds right.

I mean, I'm looking at the two copies of Clockwork Orange you have over there. Are they both written by Anthony Burgess? Okay. Thank you. So he writes that eating the tur-athat eating durian is like eating sweet raspberry blunk mange in the lavatory. Travel and food writer Richard Sterling says its odor is best described as pig excrement, turpentine and onions, garnished with a gym sock. How good is language! Oh, I love... You can describe anything with words. I feel like we haven't travelled far from the last story. It can be smelled from yards away. Despite its great local popularity, the raw fruit is forbidden from some establishments such as hotels, subways and airports, including public transportation in Southeast Asia. Other comparisons have been made

with the sivot, which I'll get to. Surage, stale vomitthe civet, which I'll get to, sewage, stale vomit, skunk spray, which I'll get to, and used surgical swaps. Oh, possibly the worst of the entire list. Because that opens up a world of possibility to me. I do not like that. A lot of viscera inside the human body. So when I was reading through this stuff, what I wanted to to to to to to to to to to to to to their the body. So when I was reading through this stuff, what I wanted to understand is why these

things smell, right? What makes these things smell and how far can we take that, right? So the wide range of descriptions for the odor of the jury may have a great deal to do with the variability of the jury in itself, so different species have different aromas so some, you know, smell like turpentarments. In 2019, the research. The research, the research, the research, the research, the research, the research, the research, the research, the research, the research, the research, the research, the research, the research, the research, the research, the research, the research, the research, the research, thiors, thia, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, what thi, what thi, what these these these things things things these these thi, what these these these thi, what these these these thi, these thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi.a, theea, thanks, thea, thea, thea, thea, thea, thea, thi, th, you know, smell like turpentine while others smell like roasted almonds. In 2019, the researchers from the Technical University of Munich identified ethanethiol, which we'll come back to as well, and its derivatives as a reason for its stinky smell, but we don't really know how it gets there as far as the enzyme that produces ethanethiole. So

they mentioned civets. These are kind of, it looks like a cross between a weasel and a coyote. Okay, how's it sound? C-I-V-E-T. So a number of vivarid species secrete sivet oil. So yeah, oh my god, yeah, it's like a Jaguar weasel. That's the cutest thing I've ever seen. It's very cute. I enjoy finding a weird new animal. So to find this in this was great. Oh my god, I love this thing.

So most civets, and they call their perineal gland. They produce them in African farms where African civets are crept in cages for this purpose. They typically produce three to four grams of sivot per week and in 2000, civets sold for about $500 per kilogram. It's a soft or almost liquid material. It's pale yellow and fresh darkening in the light and becoming salve-like in consistency. Its odor is strong, even putturreted as a pure substance, but once diluted it's pleasant and sweetly aromatic, which is also the case for like ambigree? Yeah. That like it sucks to smell unless you are only smelling a little bit of it. And then you're like, oh this is really, really less is more. And then of course yeah, you have the classic skunk. Mmm. Hell's weizel. And the th. th. th. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the thi the the thi the thi the thi the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the thi theat theat theat theat theat theat theat theat thi. theat thi. thi thi course, yeah, you have the classic skunk.

Mmm. Hell's Weasel. It's sort of a rat that's French. So, you know, they are notorious for their anal scent glands. And, well, same here. So they've got two glands, one on each side of the anus, which produced the skunk spray, which is a mixture of a sulfur-containing chemical, such as thiols, which again, we'll come back to. The thiols are a heavy hitter in the stinky world. Sure.

Traditionally called mercapitans, which have an offensive odor. Sucunk spray is powerful enough to ward off bears and other potential attackers. So the chemical defense was illustrated by Charles Darwin in the voyage of the Beagle. We saw a couple of Zorillos or skunks. I don't know, why didn't we keep with that one, I wonder. I don't know. It's so much spicier. Odeous animals, which are far from one common. In general appearance, the Zorillow resembles a pole cat, but is much larger and much thicker

in proportion. Conscious of its power, it roams by day in the open plain and fears neither dog nor man. Incredible. If a dog is urged to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the to the the the toe the thaupea tha tha thops thops thops thops thoes thoes thoes thoes thoes thoes thoes thoes thoes thoes thoes thoes thoes thoes thi. their spi. their spi. their spe. their spe. their spe. their spe. their spe. their spe. their sp. If a dog is urged to the attack, its courage is instantly checked by a few drops of the fetid oil, which brings on violent sickness and are running at the nose. Whatever is once polluted by it is forever useless. Good Lord. People were very...

They could turn a sentence. They thought about every sentence for two months. Well, I guess if you're like sending and receiving one letter of your year, you're just like, how can I say that the smell fucking sucks? Azara said that the smell could be perceived at a league distance. More than once, when entering the harbor of Montevideo, the wind being offshore, we have perceived the odor on board the Beagle. Hey, what's that smell?, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, the the the thing, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I th th th th th th thi thi, I thi, I thi, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I the thee, I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thu, I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thathea, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that, that, that, that, the wind being offshore, we have perceived the odor on board the beagle. Hey, what's that smell? Well, imagine a rat. Think bigger.

There's a very stinky rat in Montevideo, and it's ruining my day on this bite. Certain it is that every animal most willingly makes room for the Zarillo. Oh, that is gorgeous. So, you know, predators don't attack skunks, presumably, out of fear of being sprayed. It's made of three low molecular weight thiol compounds, and the low molecular weight part is important as well, which I'll eventually get to. E2butin, one thiol, three methyl, thiol, and two quinolamethyl in the thiol. And that was very brave of you to leave that that there th thia that thia that thia that thin thin, thin, thin, that thin, thin, thin, that thin, that thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, to the, so to to to to thin, so to to, so you, so you, so you, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, so thin, so thin, so thin, so thin, thin, thin, thin, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, theateateateat, theat, toeat, toeat, toeat, toeat, toe, toe, the, the, the, the, one butenethyl, and two quinoleminthan in the thiol. I mean that was very brave of you to leave that there intact, so you had to say it out loud.

Absolutely, as well as acetate thi esters of these. I remember in chemistry class we made esters, which typically make like a large proportion of like artificial smells. So if we want to make a smell that smells like bananas, Methylistors? You go to the esters, yeah. Yeah. Wait, no, is that, sorry. The only esters I know are the ones that are used for identifying beer faults.

Cool. So, maybe methylesters are the ones that tasks like butterscotch. I think, but yeah, anyway, that's that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's, that's like, that's, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's, that's. That's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, the. That's, the. That's, that's, that's, that's, the. the. that's, the. that's, the. the. that's, the. that's, the. the think, but yeah, anyway, that's like, there's a classic, like, there's a handful of that you just know, ah, your beer has this in it, that it shouldn't, or maybe it should, something's gone wrong there. Yeah, here you go. So these compounds are detectable by the human knows that concentrations of only 11.3 parts per billion. There's also the shaw earwig. So they have voracious predators, highly regarded as efficient for pest control in many situations. Repugnatory glands in the earwigs caused them to secrete a foul-smelling pheromone to deter predators, which is said to smell like decomposition. There's the amorphophophilus titanum, which is a flowering plant with the largest unbranched inflorescence in the world. So put that in your pipe and smoke it. No sure. But before you get too excited, the telepot palm has a larger inflorescence,

but it is branched rather than unbranched. Oh, well that doesn't count. So due to its odour, like that of a rotting corpse, it's characterized as a carrion flower. So I think one of these opened in... Botanidgarines? Cans? Something like that, quite recently, but maybe a year 18 months ago. Fucke it, when I was writing in, in an Australian Botanic Gardens, I would write about it, because I love that shit and I'm like, hey, go check that shit out. So it releases these to attract pollinators, just the worst, the most disgusting insects

of the world. Hey guys. Gang, stinking it up. to smell something fucking gross? Come over here. So it gradually increases from late evening into the middle of the night when carrion beetles and flesh flies are active as pollinators, then tapers off. So it actually gives the impression of rotting flesh, attracting flies to it. So analyses of these chemicals released include dimethyl tri-sulfide, like in Limberghyl and chymethyl. Trimethylene, which is rotting fish, isovalleric acid, which smells like sweating socks,

benzel alcohol, which is a sweet floral scent. And phenol like chloroceptic, and indol like feces. So those are the stinkiest things in nature that I could find. Which, so like, smell is not an intrinsic material property of the universe, right? It is something that our sensory organs take something and then assign smelliness to it. That's exactly, that's right. So there is, it's, um, particular shapes of, of molecules come together to react in, in certain ways in, in, you're, in, that's, in, that's, it's particular shapes of molecules come together to react in certain ways in your nasal passage to provide electric impulses to your brain. Yeah, in kind of the same way that the universe doesn't have color. Yes. We have eyes that

interpret certain properties materials and the way light reflects of them was color. Yeah. So from it, like from from an evolutionary standpoint a lot of natural smells being bad as you were saying generally makes sense. That's exactly right we're tuned to that yeah. But there would be things that would be maybe say extra evolutionary. I don't know how you say that outside the realm of... Yeah. It is not the response we were designed to have to them, just incidentally by the way smell is constructed. That's right, so for example Parmesan cheese has, contains a chemical that, and I'm probably going to get this wrong, so apologies if I get this wrong, but I believe it shares one of the same like aerosoled molecules as is contained in vomit. And experimentally if you

label one, one thing and one another way, it can influence your impression of and your positivity towards that smell. Sure. So if you just try and convince yourself after you've thrown up that it's actually palms and cheese. You're good. Yeah. You just punch yourself in the head, raise your short-term memory because that's how I believe it works. Yep. There must be some palm is it on the floor. And you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah I believe it works. Yep. Yeah, there must be some parmesan on the floor here. And you're good to go. But I really wanted to see the limits of this, right? So the limits of human smells. New frontiers. What a series of words. The limits of human smells. So the, I mean, of course there's, you know, there is our naturally produced smells, which tend to be things that are incompletely digested by the stomach and small intestine arrive

in the large intestine, you get fermentation by yeast or prokaryots, all that sort of thing going on to make farts. But we've used, I wanted to find out as well whether we've actually used the concept of smell in warfare and something that can actually hurt other people. And there was the classic like examples of people in the loading up siege equipment with carrion or corpses, all of that sort of thing. Like putting a rotted cow carcass in the back of your trebishe and then hurling it into their castle.

Exactly. But that tends to be more for the disease that spreads. So during the Middle Ages, victims of the bubonic plague were used for biological attacks, often by fleeing them over castle walls using catapults. I mean, that's kind of one in the same though for them, right? Because their belief was it was the smells themselves. That's exactly right. So bodies would be tied along with cannonballs and shot towards the city area, which is absolutely fucked. That is a nightmare. So in 1346 during the siege of Kaffa, which is now in Crimea, the attacking Tata forces, which is subjugated by the Mongol Empire under Genghis Khan more than a century ago, used the bodies of Mongol warriors of the golden horde who had died of plague as weapons.

So an outbreak of the plague followed, and the defending forces retreated, and the conquest of the city by Mongols followed that. And it's speculated that the operation might have been responsible for the advent of the black death in Europe. Oh my God! Yeah. And as you said, at at at at at at at at at at at at at the the the the the the the the the the the the th. At th. At th. At th. At th. At the the thi. thi. the the thoes the the the thoes the thoes thoes thoes thoes thoes thoes thoes, thoes, thoes, the thoes, the the the the the the the the thoes, thoes, thoes, thoes, thoes, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. thea. thea. ta. ta. ta. ta.a. ta. ta.a. thea. thea. thea. th black death in Europe. Oh my God! Yeah, and as he said, at the time, the attackers thought that the stench was enough to kill them, though it was the disease that was deadly. So you are actually, you are dying of the black death. Yeah. So at the siege of Tunlevik in 1340 during the Hundred Years War,

the attackers catapulted decomposing animals into the besieged area... Yeah, the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their the, the attackers catapulted decomposing animals into the besieged area. And in 1422, during the siege of the Carlstein Castle in Bohemia, Hussite attackers use catapults to throw dead but not plague infected bodies and 2,000 carriage loads of dung over the walls. Sure. But we have to go stinkier. Sure. There are still stinkier frontiers to the floor.

We must plum the depths of stench. So, ethyol, which as you recall, was one of the things that were in jurians, the smells it. Commonly known as ethyl marketan and stench, that's one of its names. I know that one. Yeah, so we've got the classic compounds. You got hydrogen sulfide,

you got chloric permanate, you've got stench. It's a clear liquid with a distinct odor. It's an organosulfur compound, abbreviated ETSH, consists of an ethyl group, ethy, it's structure parallels that of ethanol but with the sulfur in the place of the oxygen. So this sulfur thing will come back. We've got, there's a series of, when you kind of move along the sulfur in the place of the oxygen. So, this sulfur thing will come back. We've got, there's a series of, when you kind of move along the periodic chart, if you move in certain patterns, you can swap things in and out in the same spot

and get much the same effect but increase, kind of like in, the movie evolution. That is the single most, that scene, I was like 12 and pissed off about it. Like, it just like, well, they're carbon based, no, we're carbon-based and arsenic is poisoned to us. And they're, well, selenium was poisonous to them. Yes, but they were nitrogen based, it was selenium that was poisonous to them? Something like that. Because you can make an L-shaped movement to get to it. And I'm like, that is a completely arbitrary thing. Lots of things are poisonous to us.

That's true. That's true. It is poisonous to us. Oh, God. But in this case that. So the, but the odor of it is infamous. It occurs naturally as a minor component of petroleum but is otherwise added to otherwise, sorry, but is added to otherwise odourless, gaseous products such as LPG. To help one of gas leaks. So this is the thing that they add. So at those concentrations, ethanethiol is not harmful, but we use an infinitesimal amount of it. It's just a tile or speak. And it smells bad. It is so powerful that it is literally had hazardous to sear health to smell ethanethio. It's not good. It's got a strong disagreeable odor that humans can detect in minute concentrations. The threshold for human detection is as low as low as thatheat at at at at at at at at at at at at at a th. th. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. It's, th. It's, th. It's, the. It's, the. It's, the. It's, thial is, thial is, thial. It's, thial. It's, thial. It is, thial. It is, thial. It is, th. It is, th. It is an an an th. It is a th. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. That is a the. A. That's a the. It's a theateateateateateateate. It's an theateateateathea. It's an theathea. It's The threshold for human detection is as low as one part in 2.8 billion parts of air. Its odor resembles that of leaks, onions, durian or cooked cabbage, but is quite distinct. So the employees of the Union Oil Company

of California reported first in 1938 that Turkey vultures would gather at the side of gas leaks. And they kind of narrowed it down to traces of ethanethiole in the gas, that the it must be shared with something that's decomposing, that the vultures went, well that's it, that's my food over here, that's my dude, I'm gonna go and eat that. And so that's where they got the idea to boost the amounts to the amounts the amounts that you that humans that humans the amount that humans that humans that humans the amount that humans that humans that humans to the that humans the that humans that humans that humans so that's where they got the idea to boost the amounts that humans could detect gases from gas leaks. And that's a fucking great idea. So going down further the stinky hole, this is a, kind of snippets from an article by a guy named Derek Lowe who writes, I can't

remember the name of the blog. It's quite florid so I've had to cut a lot of it down, but one sub-topic that he has is things that I won't work with as a as a chemist right so he's talking about here Seleneffinel, I don't have to work out how to say that, 400 more times. So he kind of gets into that sulfur compounds are stinky, which we were talking about before, but it's a problem that continues as you move down group 16 of the periodic table. And it's not like plain phenol itself has no odor,

no odor, so we were kind of talking about those sulfur compounds before. It's strong, penetrated, and completely unmistakable. As soon as I get a whiff of the stuff, I'm immediately transported back to the Versa Clinic, the small hospital town I grew up in back in Arkansas. Fennel smells like an old-fashioned medical office. So they they they they they they they they they they used they used they used th, so th, so th, so th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. th. th. th, th, the th, th, th, th, the th, the th, the th, the the th, th, th, th, th, the th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, theean, theanan, thean, thean, theanan, thean, thean, thean, thean, theoli. thi like an old-fashioned medical office, so they used to use it for disinfectant. So if you move that down a notch to sulfur, you get thio phenol, which is related to the ones that we were talking about before, which is easy to describe, burning rubber, the pure potent platonic ideal of burning rubber bottled up and

daring you to open the cap. But move one more element down and you have cellenethnal. And that's a more exotic reagent. The chemical literature has numerous examples of people who are at a loss for words when it comes to describing its smell. But their attempts are eloquent all the same. A few years ago, gousling at the Lamentations on Chemistry blog referred to it as, The Biggest Stinker I have ever run across, Imagine six skunks wrapped in rubber inner tubes, and the whole thing is said ablaze.

That might approach the metaphysical stench of this material. Good Lord. Um, organic synthesis, circa 1944, features the note that it is frequently advisable to work with selenium compounds on alternate days. That same prep also notes that you can produce small amounts of hydrogen selenide, which is very toxic indeed. This luckless graduate student from the 1920s got to experience both of these bracing selenium room fresheners in the course of his work.

Bazellius described the poisonous effects of hydrogen selenide quite impressively. In order to get acquainted with the smell of this gas, I allowed a bubble not larger than a pea to pass into my nostril. In consequence of its smell, I so completely lost my sense of smell for several hours that I could not distinguish the odor of strong ammonia, even when held under my nose. My sense of smell returned after five or six hours, but severe irritation of the mucus membrane set in and persisted for a fortnight. Oh my God! The rider had been working on the gas for some time and has also seriously

affected once the injury persisting for many days that is more poisonous than the hydrogen sulfide is well known. So these are compounds leading up to selenophenol. So you have to make these things to get there. And at the destination, which nobody makes, this is one of those things that nobody makes because it sucks. Like it's notorious for sucking, but this is from 1908. When, I'm not even going to say that acid in solution is treated with reducing agents such as hydrogen sulfide, sulfur dioxide or best with zinc and hydrochloric. So when, I'm not going to say that, acid is in solution is treated with reducing agents such as hydrogen sulfide, sulfur dioxide or best with zinc and hydrochloric acid cylinofanol is obtained as

a yellow oil with an overpowering and most nauseating odor. The odor of diphenol dycelanide is extremely disagreeable but not nearly as bad as selenophanol. The effect on the skin is very similar to that of thiophenol forming blisters which itch intensely. After a time these dry up, the skin scales off and there appears to be a deposit of red selenium beneath it. The odor of selenophanol is very penetrating and it is nauseating beyond description. Don't you hate it when you had skin sort of sloughs off and then you're like, oh, and that stinks for rums. What the fucks going on? So, I don't think, at this point I've gone, I don't think I've arrived at the stinkiest element yet.

Sure. There's still furthermore. And I wanted to know why this is, why things are so disagreeably smelling in like such small components. I found this article, the scent of a molecule by Sam Keene. There's no sense so intimate and mysterious as smell, unlike other senses, smell is wired directly to the emotional centers in our brain. The reason for this remains obscure, but the setup gives odors an uncanny power to unlock hidden memories. So similarly shaped molecules can have quite different odors, and molecules that look nothing alike can smell almost the same.

But thanks for an innovative new study, scientists have finally gotten some traction on olfaction. I don't like that. No. Allowing them to match specific chemical features, specific odors for the first time. So the study began when sensory scientists at Rockefeller University recruited 49 volunteers to rate the smells of 476 chemicals. The subjects ranked the intensity and pleasantness of each, then classified the scents using

19 descriptors, including fish, sour, sweaty, bakery, and decayed. I feel like I don't like that there is a, what's that, it's an asymmetrical construction, and that some of those are adjectives, some of those are nouns, some of those are a building, some of those are a building. Really, all over the place. So the scientists also mapped out the chemical geometry of all the molecules, including the identity of the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the decaya decayityityityity, the the the the decayity, theaqaqaqaqaqaqaqaqaqaqaqakeakeakeakea, the decayateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateatea.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a. the the the thea.a.a.a.a. thea. the the thea. the the thea. thea. thea. thea.a.a. Some of those are a building. Some of the thanks. So the scientists also mapped out the chemical geometry of all the molecules, including the identity of every atom within them. As a next step, the researchers turned to an unlikely source for help. Artificial intelligence. So, in this case, the Rockefeller team challenged computer geeks to find correlations in the data between odor and chemical structure. 18 teams accepted the challenge challenge the ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the molecules the molecules the molecules the molecules the molecules the molecules the molecules the molecules the molecules the molecules the molecules the molecules, including molecules, including molecules, including molecules, including molecules molecules the molecules, including molecules, including molecules, including thiolescules, including their molecules, including the molecules, including, including, including, including, including, including, including, including, including, including, including the molecules, including the molecules, including the molecules the molecules molecules the molecules the molecules the molecules the molecules the molecules the molecules thiiiiiiole. thions, thions, thions, thiou. thions, thiouns, thiouns, thiouns, thiants, their thieks to find correlations in their data between odor and chemical structure. 18 teams accepted the challenge with a bunch of different places, who cares. Then they gathered input from all the teams to further investigate the chemical nature of smell.

A few trends became clear immediately. Small molecules, for example, tended to produce much more intense smells than larger ones. Having polar groups within the molecules, so regions of strong, positive or negative charge, such as phenols, anals, and carboxels, also ratcheted up the smells intensity. When it came to matching odors to structures, the computers had the easiest time predicting the smell of three methylhexanon, which is a camphor-like odour, an ethylheptanite, which is sweet, smells like sweet grape. The hardest molecules to predict included L-cysteine, which smells like rotten eggs. The 19 broad descriptors of odors also fell into two clusters. Those hard to guess, wood, urinous, and musky, and those easy to guess, fruit, spices, burnt,

and garlic. The garlic prediction is especially interesting for periodic table buff since it explains one of the table's great mysteries why telerium, element 52, smells like the most pungent garlic on earth. Chemists exposed to telerium often reek like garlic for weeks or even months afterwards. The smell is so overwhelming that according to legend a few researchers have been driven to suicide. That is a hell of a legend. Yep. So the Rockefeller study revealed that the presence of sulfur atoms is strongly associated with garlic smells, and telarium sits just two spots below sulfur on the periodic table,

so it's no surprise that the nose would interpret telerium and sulfur compounds in similar ways. One surprise for the smell scientists was that the subunits of larger, more complicated molecules didn't seem to interact much. Instead, each part produced an odor in the nose more or less independently of the other parts. The overall smell was therefore the simple sum of each autonomous section.

They go on to say, the human nose sometimes gets a bumrap as a weak, ineffectual organ. Although we know we're near as talented as, say, bloodhounds, humans actually have pretty sharp noses. A 2014 study estimated that we can distinguish roughly one trillion different scents. That's a lot. There's a lot. I feel like personally with my nose and language skills, 15. I reckon.

I absolutely nailed it. Yeah. That's all of them. And who would need any more than that? Oh my god. You got your classic smells, you got musky, you got urine, you got wood. You're sweaty, garlic, fish, bakery, uh, Newcar, London. Hot plastic. And that's about it. Yep.

So that brings me to the last, uh, the last smell in a series of very unpleasant smells, again by old mate Derek Lowe, and that's thioacetone. It doesn't like to exist as a free compound. Attempts to crack this thioacetone monomer itself had been made, but then that's when people start diving out of windows and vomiting into waste baskets. So the quality of the data begins to deteriorate. No one's quite sure what the actual odorant is, and no one has much desire to find out either.

There are sound historical reasons for this reluctance. The canonical example is the early work in the German city of Freiburg in 1889, which quotes the first-hand report. This reaction produced an offensive smell which spread rapidly over a great area of the town, causing fainting, vomiting, and a panic evacuation. And an 1890 report from the Whitehall Soap Works in Leeds refers to the odour as fearful.

Oh God. Fearful odor. in Leeds refers to the odour as fearful. The fearful odor. That's a fucking HP Lovecraft story. So the compound shows up sporadically in the literature into the mid-1960s when several groups looked into thiocotones as sources of new polymers. The most in-depth analysis took place at the ESO Research Station in Abingdon UK, where Victor Burnup and Kenneth Latham got to experience the Freiburg horror for themselves, and

I quote, Lucky them. Recently, we found themselves with an odor problem beyond our worst expectations. During early experiments, a stopper jumped from a bottle of residue, and although replaced at once, resulted an immediate complaint of nausea and sickness from colleagues working in a building 200 yards away. Two of our chemists who had done no more than investigate the cracking of minute amounts of thio ascertain found themselves the object of hostile stairs in a restaurant and suffered

the humiliation of having a waitress spray the area around them with a deodorant. The odors defied the expected effects of dilution since workers in the laboratory did not find the odors intolerable and genuinely denied responsibility since they were working in closed systems. To convince them otherwise, they were dispersed with other observers around the laboratory at distances up to a quarter of a mile, and one drop of either acetone gem diethyol or mother liquors from a crude trithio acetane crystallizations were placed on a watchglass in a fume cupboard. The odour was detected downwind in seconds. So one drop indoors, and people a quarter of a mile away can smell it straight away. That is absolutely terrifying. So he asks, how do you work with something

that smells like hell's dumpster? Like this. So the offensive odors released by cracking trithio acetone to prepare linear polythioacetone are confined and eliminated by working in a large glove box with an alkaline permaginate seal, decontaminating all apparatus with alkaline per manganate, eliminating obnoxious vapors with nitrous fumes generated by a few grams of copper in HNO3 and destroying all residues by running them into the center of a wood fire in a Brazier. And that is the smelliest thing that I could find. I mean, so hypothetically, have we run out of space

on the periodic table to keep making that same move to find yet smellier things. I believe, I don't know, what's under, what's under that telerium under... I haven't had to look at a periodic table in a couple of years. Let's fire that bad boy up. Oh wow, last time I looked at there was only like 10 things on there. They've gone wild. So polonium, I think, underneath? Sure. I think you start getting into radioactive stuff, and then the stuff that doesn't exist. The hypothetical stuff that we know should exist, but we've never been able to make- All we know is that it's going to stink like hell. Yeah.

Oh. All right, for some reason, based on what you had put in the chat, I was anticipating maybe some sort of celestial body in space that smells unbelievably bad. It's sort of Futurama style. It's sort of a garbage ball moving through space. But no, this is something we make for fun, for yucks. Imagine if you like, why haven't we weaponized that? Is there some sort of Geneva convention rule about dropping just like a really potently

bad smell into people? You have hundreds of people that are vomiting all over the place. Yeah, I mean, because I think, so that would go under the heading of biological warfare, right? Which is, again, under Geneva is not permitted, but biological agents tend to work on actually poisoning you and killing your sort of thing, which I really wanted to find an example of us just like stinking the place out. Yeah, and that being the main mechanism. Yeah, there's no irritant, there's no anything else.

It's just literally the smell is so fucking bad. Yeah, which I mean, potentially you could do with this stuff, but I think there's a there's probably a limit to what you can achieve. And like you can shoot a guy with bullets, you just can't, you know, fucking. Yeah. War. Pretty silly. That's my take on it. Well, thank you so much for telling me about that. Thank you. Thank you. I love to learn the listener. to love. to love. to love. to love. to love. the listener. the listener. the listener. the listener. the listener. the listener. the listener. the listener. the listener. the listener. the the the the the the the the the th. the the listener. the listener. the listener. the the the the listener. the listener. the listener. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. theo. theo. theo. theo. theo. theo. theo. the. the. the. the the the the us for another episode of Theophiles. We're probably just going to keep doing these, I think. They're very nice. I'm sure Andrew and Lucy will come up with their own thing that they like doing. Yeah, and good luck to them, I say. It'll be called The Fart Brothers.

Yeah. And they do script-readthrows of Adam Sandler movies. So look forward to that. This is bonus episode isn't it? I think so. Thanks for subscribing. Really appreciate that. Smooch, smooch. We'll bloody catch you next week. Bye. Bye. the