Boonta Vista - UNLOCKED BONUS EPISODE: Throw Another Fentanyl On The Barbeque

Episode Date: April 5, 2026

It's a free bonus episode! Just for you! Theo, Andrew, and Ben bring you: A series of illegal auditions for firefighting, a fantasy sword in a real pile of weapons, a briefly touched upon toy, touchable moments at the horror maze, and Headline News. *** Outro: Slowly - Max Sedgley *** Support our show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista *** Email the show at [e-mail]! Call in and leave us a question or a message on 1800-317-515 to be answered on the show! *** Website: boontavista.com Twitch: twitch.tv/boontavista

Hello, it's me, Ben, from the podcast, Bonta Vista. You guys are getting the bonus episode from this week instead of there being a new free episode this week because Andrew, Lucy and Theo are all away on holiday. And I am just hung over enough that I couldn't be bothered trying to organise a guest to do a sort of a one-on-one with instead. This is a fun episode. I hope you enjoy it. We're doing this every week. there's always one of these guys if you are interested in hearing

a second episode of Bontevista every week you can sign up at patreon.com slash Bontevista and if you're not that's also fun I hope you enjoy it bye would I like to be told to do today

I'm the computer what are my instructions I decide Hello and welcome to Buntavista. It's a bonus episode. And what a wonderful night for a bonus episode. Because it's bin night. Yes, I'm dragging my wheelie bin.

That's right. We put wheels on ours so that we don't have to carry them. We kind of store them near the house where all our garbage is. And then we sort of just wheel it up the driveway to where the like automated trash truck picks it up. Pretty good, I reckon, all around. I'm out there on my front curb. I'm looking around just to see who else is on Bidnight.

And who do I see? It's bloody Andrew. It's been not yet. Yeah, it's recycling. That's right. Oh, thank fuck. Yeah. I had a one in two chance of getting it wrong. Absolutely. Imagine if we lived in Japan.

Yeah. And we had all their bins. Seven bins. They've got a lot of recycling bins, right? They've got seven bins. Like a lot of bins. I put that number out of my ass, but it's a lot of bins. I'm constantly getting out my phone and not Googling.

I don't think I'm duck-duck going anymore. But punching in my suburb payment bin night. And then I get a little calendar and I can see which one I'm currently on. Because the problem is my fucking neighbors don't get this out earlier enough. I can't use them as reference because I go out there. I know they don't have the bins out. They're not as enthusiastic about it as we are. They're not on it.

Or they don't produce as much garden waste or recycling as me. And they've just got the rubbish bin out. And it's like, I don't need that information. You're not helping me. This is meant to be a society. See, I'm in a position where I don't, there's no one I can copy. Because there is no one within a kilometer of me. Because you kind of live on the car dealership is putting their bins out.

Well, that's not. The magic mile of. specifically identify. That's right. I live in the magic mile in Maruka. In Maruka. In Maruka. Yes, that is Ben.

And he has just popped his disgusting little head out of a bin. How are you, buddy? Sorry, continue your rant. Then I'll get back to what you're doing. Actually, repeat the start of it. You were very muffled at the start with the lid down. Yeah. So, no, okay, I will resume the red.

but as a sidebar, there is a house on the Maruka Magic Mile. There's just a Queenslander in the middle of the shittiest car dealership on the Magic Mile. Absolutely. And they've got the signs up for the car loans. Like anyone accepted kind of deal. Like we rocked up. This is when George and I were together, we went there and George was trying to buy a high luck specifically. And we walked into a lot and like no one's come out to say hi or anything.

and there's two guys sitting on the veranda of the Queenslander drinking at like three in the afternoon. And they're like, what do you want? So it's like, I'm looking for like a, you know, like late 90s highlux. They're like, no. What the one that's television? Do you have an ISIS vehicle for me? What could I put a rocket launching system on the back of a lot? Yeah, I'll bring, I've got the system just FYI.

I know how to mount it. That's all good. I just want to see the highlight. Don't try it up. Tell me on the system. Don't join up. Yeah, I know it's cheap for me to put it in. I've got a mount there.

You can swap it out. You can put a browning on there. No problem. Swivel, gimbal, all that kind of shit. I'm not going to get rinsed on a surface-to-air missile system again. Yeah. I'll get them off from the dealership. You've got to be joking.

Have you guys seen what the missile launching systems often look like on the back of ISIS technicals where it's literally just some metal at a 45 degree angle and you just rest of rocket on it. Yeah. What was the rant? Oh, the rant. Okay, so I can't copy anyone else for my bins. Also, where my bins are is the edge of the Wi-Fi boundary for my house.

So just the little extra bits of looking it up, I've realized it's far easier and far quicker to move my recycling. bin every week, the two meters out to the curb. Even if it's not getting collected. And Mattie's always like, why'd you put the recycling bin out? It's not the recycling bin. And I'm like, well, that took me four seconds. Yeah.

Who's the guy from June? They know everything. A mentat. Yeah, first of all, if you know what bin week it is, just like off the top of your head. That's the mentat shit. The guy from winter? Is that what we're talking? The man from June?

No, I think it's sort of permanent summer on that planet. Yeah, so good to hear from you, Ben. And you have given us that rant, briefly pausing, diving through the bins, looking for dildos, soiled tampons, and sanitary products, which you will then suck off. It's not the grunter, by the way. This is actually Ben, his actual personality. this is not satire, I mean to defame him as well.

Not a bit. It's not a bit. He is a nasty bad drawing sustenance from your waist, both physical and capital, etc. Just, yeah, kind of at the bottom of the bin, licking the juice collects at the bottom. Interesting. I noticed there wasn't like a roast element to Andrews, the sort of character he was granted. this intro at all. Why would there be?

Okay. Have I, have I wronged you in some way this week? No, never. Never. You've literally never done anything wrong to be in... Except for the bin stuff. Entire life.

Yeah, I guess. Oh, yeah. It's nasty what you're doing in there. Yeah, well, I like it, so I don't think it's nasty personally. And frankly, the important thing is that it's not, as far as I know, a crime. We talk about crimes in...

Crime Watch. I just realized that, statistically we're going to have someone who's going to get done for, you know, sucking off tampons from someone else's bin or whatever. And then, you know, someone will sue them and they'll get into discovery and there'll be like chat GPT going, is it illegal to suck off my neighbor's tampons that I find in her in her rubbish bin? And then that'll kind of be in the kind of court documentation.

The public record, etc. Can I just kind of, can I offer a dissenting opinion here? I think it'll be slightly. different. I don't think it'll be someone who got the idea from us check the legality and chat GPT and then investigated. I think it'll be someone who's been

doing it for many years and it's their secret shame because they don't know if that's like a reasonable thing to do. They don't know if it's legal. They're just they've been making their homegrown iron supplements for years and years

but they've been afraid to share it with the world. But suddenly out of the dark, Out of the fog, out of the confusion, sings a voice saying, hey, there's a podcaster in Australia named Ben and he's sucking the tampons. And he's really doing it. It's not a bit. It's not part of the show. And that's what makes it real.

That's what makes this person say, chat, GPT, am I not alone? Yeah, am I valid in this? And that's honestly such an important question right now. You're not just valid. You're actually the only person that's not. crazy. Yeah. There's some loser shit, having your chat GPT, like thoughts in court documentation.

Yeah. I think a guy that I know who, I was spoken about him before, he's the first person I know to get AI psychosis. He did like a random sort of vague booking Facebook post the other day where he's like, why are people so scared of like emotional intimacy and discussing what really matters? Like, dude, you have an AI girlfriend? Yeah. Like, you're so scared of it that you're putting it all in the computer

instead of actually, like, fucking talking to people, brother. Having a relationship with a... Yeah. Big old bag of dice. Big old bag of dice. And the dice only the good numbers. Is that you, babe? They don't put the bad numbers in there.

They don't put the... Yeah, big old bag dice are only good numbers. Oh, man. Did you... We were talking about this because you posted it in... the chat this morning, Theo, but the transcripts from that lady who's suing someone for defamation and they got the chat GPT transcripts from the guy. Yeah.

And you've got to kind of like prove malice and all this sort of stuff and prove that they knew that it's wrong. And there's just him logs going like, even if this was incorrect, how could I say it? Like having it all laid out. Well, there's the one where it keeps, he keeps trying to make it like to racialize the stuff that he's doing. Yeah. And the chat GPT keeps being like, well, I'm not going to do that.

Steady on, big fella. But then immediately afterwards, he's asking questions like, how can I completely destroy this person? And it's just like, you're asking. Let's kill them. Let's make them kill themselves. It will agree with anyone about anything. I really like the lawyers who keep getting shredded by judges in court

when they have presented a case that they got chat GPT to do. And the judge's like, hey, number one. funny what happens when people check it. When people kind of like stop and go, is any of this true or real in like a realm where it matters? Because CEOs, it doesn't matter what they say. They're just like chat GPT, make me a think fluencer post. And then they just post it. Because it wouldn't have meant anything in the first place even if they had written it.

Exactly. So no one's being like that job. Wait a second. Yeah. Speaking of our lawyers, I was reading a fun story in the Australian Financial Review yesterday. about a lawyer who had been found guilty of... fucking pipe sticking out of your mouth? Like really extensively overcharging.

So he was doing... His company was doing legal work for an Australian council, massively overcharging them. I think ended up giving them a bill of like $10 million. But they were going through all this guy's hand-done timesheets and heaps of them were for like over 30 hours in a day. Of his time? Yeah.

Well, how are you going to get to a million bucks otherwise? Yeah, Judge is like, Hey, what's up with these ones? And he's like, ah, it's all time zones. That's awesome. It's just like sometimes I'm traveling. There's time zones involved. He kept saying there's time zones involved.

That's so good. Which I really enjoyed, you know? Just giving it a swing. Just giving a red hot go, you know? If it works, it works. I was on one of those novelty flights where they go kind of close to the poles. at New Year's Eve, and you get a couple of New Year's Eve.

I was doing one of those. Just to encircle on this for three, four months. Yeah. Should have been hustling, really. So fucking good. Did you have Wi-Fi on the plane where you're able to hustle while you're on the plane? 30 hours and a day, baby. That's the grind set.

This is a very low-stakes version of this, but as usual, I was looking at my low-stakes disputes on Facebook type posts where someone in the like Canberra Drivers group had taken a photo of a car that had a hand drawn like in the style of an L or a P plate but with a hand drawn S on it like very shittily drawn with like a sharp

Super driver well I still don't know because someone in the comments was like oh in New South Wales in the ACT when you're taking a learner driver test you affix an S plate to show that the car is

under testing or whatever and then someone replied to that and was like, hey, that's not true at all. They were like, ha ha, I just put it into chat GPT and I didn't fact check it or anything. Don't do that. Why did you do that? Who does that help?

You didn't learn anything. You didn't know anything. You didn't help anyone. You wasted your time. You wasted the other person's time. I wanted to know about the S plate. Yeah. Also, that information

very accessible. Right. Yeah. Yeah, you can't look that. up with like the regular sort of duck, duck go. Ask Jeeves. Alta Vista, webbomba. There are plenty of things that people can and do complain about with the, with various

Australian governments, but like. Bonsai buddy. Access Canberra. Got all the information on that. Yeah. You can go to a web page and see that. You don't have to go to your fake bullshit friend. Your friend who lies to be cool.

Wow. Overcharging. Yeah, man. It's called cratum. overcharging and saying that you've worked 30 hours in a day turns out that that's a crime it's time for crime watch play it again we're not back the serious

fuck hey Ben now it's your turn this is you can get him out of the bin for long enough KOC in Oklahoma man accused of setting multiple grass fires in Oklahoma says he misses being a firefire

What's the crime? Being too wistful? What's the crime? Extensive longing? I think it's arson. Now, can I, I want to give you guys a fair warning because I love you both and I respect you both and I would never want to stitch you up

on a podcast that we're recording together. I don't even empathize. I wouldn't wish ill of you either then. Yeah, interesting. I don't want you guys to I'm not empathise too much with this guy because there is a shocking twist at the end of the story. Well, I mean, he's an arsonist, so I'm already kind of... I mean, I think his journey is an arsonist, somewhat relatable.

Okay. I'm not an arsonist, but... Yeah, not anymore. A-Cab includes firefighters? Apparently, and paramedics. Yeah, I'm told that a lot of them suck, so I don't know. I don't know. You're told a lot of firefighters suck?

I've been told a lot of firefighters suck, yeah. Who's telling you this? Who are your sources? Sorry for one of the good ones. ACAP includes everyone that Dutch teens would shoot fireworks at. Yeah. On New Year's Eve. Whoever that fireworks touched is deserved.

What can we know? Yeah. You're a cop because the fire, the firecracker hit you. Yes. Yeah, that's right. Portology or whatever. Well, the problem is it's a bit of a self-fulfilling prophecy. as soon as you turn around and start saying,

hey, you shouldn't be doing that, you become the cop. You know? Tell another people to live their lives. You're either got to be cool, that getting piffed with a firecracker or two once a year, or you are the cop. You are the cop. Yeah, and Ben, anytime you're ready,

you can go into the story. A former Custer City firefighter has been arrested and accused of intentionally setting nearly a dozen grass fires in Dewey and Custer counties burning more than 400 acres of land. Now, I understand that to be a lot. Yeah. That's heaps.

I mean, for a normal fire, that's probably very little. But I haven't burnt that much land in like the sum total of the lives that I've been alive. So I'm just going to the acre to square meter converter. Because I do not know. I know. I think I feel more comfortable with 400 acres than that would be, you know, what is. This is very good radio. Yeah, probably about 5, 6,000 square meters.

How well did I do it? I was just putting in the, I was putting in the size of the block my houses on. Yeah. To give myself a point of reference for how much of an acre that is. And it's really not much. It's just a little bit. Oh, that's way more than I was expecting. 400 acres, you say, Ben.

Yeah. court documents show that the suspect, 32-year-old, Skyla Terrell, Tarell, maybe. Let's say Skylar Tarell. Scylla Tarell? Skylar Tarell.

Yeah. Allegedly told authorities. Tarell's overbearing wife from Blade Runner. So what you're saying is it's like the Tarell Corporation. That's Tyrell with a Y. But you've combined it with Skylar White from Breaking Bad

and you're calling her overbearing her overbearing And she pushes back. She's not, she's obviously we know she's right. She's correct. The thing is that Skyla clearly can be a man's name. And I think it's a-

episode's kind of dragging on a bit. I think it's a problem that Theo can't picture a female head of the Tyrell Corporation. I think that says a lot about him. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Okay.

Skyla Terrell allegedly told authorities he thought fighting these fires could help him get his job back. No. reportedly told them he is obsessed with fire. Don't. Don't say that when they ask you about the fires, dude. You mean putting out fires?

Oh, yeah. You're putting out fires. Look, I think there's quite a few problems with this theory. Number one, if you're trying to become a firefighter again, don't say stuff like. I'm obsessed with fire. Don't say odd shit. I close my eyes and all I see is flamers. licking up the curtains, eating the ceiling.

It's all I think about. Don't say that to them. Say stuff like, I want to help my community. I want to be in the calendar. That's the only thing I care about is being real muscular and oily and featuring in the calendar every year. Not starting fires.

Delicious fire. Not cleansing the world. That's not what I spend all my time thinking about. No, it's the calendar. I also think if you have lost your job, as a firefighter, as a police person, as like an ambulance, as an AMBO, anything like that, any kind of emergency services. I don't think doing enough freelance jobs, just doing little spot acts of the thing you used to do

for a job. I don't think they see like two or three of them and go, you know what? Get them off the bench. You're not, yeah, you're not gaining like firefighter points. Yeah, he obviously wasn't here for the money. He's really in it for the love of the game, you know? Get him back in here. I feel like most of the reasons that you'd lose your job for being a firefighter or a cop are pretty...

Well, I think, yeah, maybe we'll get into that. I don't know. Maybe some jobs should just have straight up no second chances. Yeah. Like if you're out, you can't just go to another county and be like, let me in. I'm ready. I love fire fighting. Fighting.

Fire, fighting. Five second pause before adding fighting. Before looking at your hand. Fighting. Fighting. Wincing whenever you talk about putting out of fire? Terrell was seen by Thomas firefighters at five different fire locations near the town of Putnam on the same day. Every time they see a fire, he's just sort of standing there.

the middle distance. Yeah. I assume he is staring. He's just drilling the fire with high contact. Yeah. I fucking it. Hey, Zah, you guys notice,

I just feel like the first three we went to, there was one guy there mad, eye fucking the flames. Did you see him as well? Or am I being like... Sort of the same guy? Yeah, like he was dressed the same. He looked the same.

Because right now I'm kind of thinking maybe like an incubus. or a sort of a low-level demon is maybe haunting me or we got a you know you guys do you see that fella over there right do you reckon they got like a fun slang term

for an arsonist or firebugs firebugs the common one yeah but you need one that's more kind of slurry yeah like more kind of like derogatory because if you're a firefighter for nine out of every ten

10 firefighters, the arsonist is your worst enemy. And for one out of every 10 firefighters, the arsonist is you. Is you. Yeah. It's like police having slurs for sex workers, right? You've got to, there's got to be something there that they really look down on. Oh, I think, yeah, you don't want to be the 10th firefighter looking around saying, yeah, let's get that flame slut. Yeah.

Like, it's not. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's whinsing again. Hey, what if we flushed him out with a controlled burn? What if we set a lot of fires and we saw if he turned up again? Turn it, yeah.

What I want to know is if this guy has turned up at five different fire locations on the same day, if it's me, by the third fire, I'm saying stuff like, fancy seeing you here. Yeah. People are going to talk. Yeah, we have to stop meeting like this. There's going to be rumors about us because we keep running into each other at the scene of identical grassfire. fires. Are you guys following me?

You have to kind of break the tension. You know, you got to self-deprecatingly, you know, address the elephant in the room. If you're the arsonist, you really want to put them on the back foot that they are the ones that are causing the coincidence. Hey, I should bring a couple of drinks next time. Make it a date. Is someone following me around and starting fires? That'd be crazy. Take a, take a picture in a.

Take a picture in the last long ago. Well, got to go. According to court documents, firefighters reported that Terrell was the one to call them in, and he was the first at the scene as firefighters showed up and even helped them put them out. Oh, buddy. I'll help you guys.

Me again. It's me. What are the odds? Let me help. Very helpful, man. I have experience with fire. So much experience with fire. I made my own.

suit A lot of layers of tinfoil glued together with clag A flag A flag Fire investigators learned at the spots where Terrell helped put out the fires Well where the fires originated

Yeah So there's some sort of I can't see it yet I can't form a picture in my mind But there's like a correlation Between him and being at the fire at the source of the fire.

Yeah, they need like Benedict Cumberbatch Sherlock to do the He's moving all the words around. Fire. It's just fire and the one guy. Fire, grass. Fire, fire. That guy?

That guy. That guy again. This guy's setting fires. Fire. Link. On the tournament, link rifle. Fire. Visible erection in track pants.

Fire. Terrell admitted to setting all eight fires saying he quote Mrs. being a firefighter. Officials said they noticed he called a family member who works for the Custer City Fire Department to notify them of all the fires. Like,

this family member is, they got to know. Oh, they go out of. I think there's something we need to know. I think there's a really important piece of information that is missing for us personally, which is, was he calling his cousin? It's got to be a cousin, right?

It's got to be his cousin, right? There's no way. It's immediate family. member because they'd say son, daughter, uncle, wife. Wait, no, uncle's not a meeting family. Well, I mean, to some. Yeah. Yeah. To some of the very uncle forward wife. Again, I think, uh, I think this is not going to win you any points, uh, in terms of becoming a firefighter again. And I'm almost certain that it's going to make everyone at the fire department and most of the people in your town wonder about all the other fires you saw to when you were a fireman.

Yeah, I think nine out of ten firefinders will hear this information and say, there's no fucking way we could hire this guy. And then the 10th will say, I reckon we should give him a chance. Need someone else to throw him off the trail. They've got to get another flame slut in here. The arsonist wants to be surrounded by arsonists. To draw attention. Yeah, because it's.

like it splits where the punishment could go. It does and also more fire to look at. Yes. Yeah. A rising flame tickles all arsonists. To be your arsonist, governor. Skyler admitted that he did set these fires with a cigarette lighter because he thought it could help him get back on the fire department if they saw him at the fires trying to put them out when they arrived

court documents said I really could have gone down there and said is there anything I can do to win you guys back over you always need help I love fire how many fires you got gotten currently is it too many is it too many

Can I come to some of them? Exactly eight grass fires today crazy Really really crazy The fires burn more than 400 acres, according to court documents, Terrell is facing eight counts of arson and establishing a pattern of crimes.

Yeah. Yeah, the pattern is... Establishing it, that's a crime? To establish a pattern of crime? So more than two. More than two. How far apart can they be? Because like if you did two within, say, a month of each other,

and then you had like a five-year break and you did a third one. Are we calling that a patent? Yeah, you should actually be rewarded for break. having such good self-control. Time off for good behavior, right? Yeah.

Yes. Torel faces nearly 70 years in prison, if found guilty of all of his new charges. Now, I remember when I told you it was a, there was a twist to this story. Yeah. Well, guess what? Classic Ben Twist. I'm not going to like this one. He is also a pedophile.

It's time for headline news. Wones. My mouth tastes like dirt. Scratch an arsonist find a pedophile, you know, we're always saying. God, I wish I could make that the episode title. I'm not putting one out there with pedophile in the title. No longer free? Just doesn't feel right.

Do you maybe have like a nicer phrase you could use? Yeah. A more complimentary, a less incendiary tone. I have three headlines for you from this week. Canada goose-clad thug snorted cocaine off beard before one-punch attack. Canada goose-clad-thug. Yeah. Gadda-Coose-clad-thug.

Snorted cocaine off-beard before one-punch attack. Did you say Gadda-Cuse? Don't think so? As in, sorry, I'm trying to pass this one on several words. Canada goose clad. Clad like a costume? Like a Canada goose. Dressed up like a Canada goose?

No, I believe he had Canada geese strapped to his body as a sort of organic armor. Yeah. It's a brand. It's a brand of like warm out of wear, I believe. Oh, like goose down. Yes. Yeah. Probably.

Probably. Yeah, I feel like you could probably clean up that headline a little. I don't know why, I guess that maybe it's an expensive brand. Yeah. Like we said Patagonia, you wouldn't think, like, that they're at the city of Patagonia, maybe. I don't know. The city of Patagonia. City of Patagonia.

Isn't it for town? I don't know. It's a geographical region. I don't know shit. Yeah. Cruising for kids benefit car show and festival returning to Jackson City. Call it anything but that. Literally.

Yeah. Anything else. How about driving for kids? Cars for kids like. Yeah. That's better. Cars that kids like for kids. Hot Wheels Fun Fest.

Car show for parents and guardians to bring children to consensually. Yes, to raise money for the benefit of children. I don't care how unwieldy it is. I don't care how long it is, how awkward it is. Don't call it cruising for kids. No. Don't. Do us all of us.

You know? And I love that you do it a charity drive. I think that's fucking awesome. I don't want to denigrate, you know, the incredible things you've been doing. But God!

No one in your life was like, ooh, one more for you. Unsettled Patton unfolds this week. Okay. So keep an eye out for that. Unsettled pattern unfolds. What really? bothers me about that is that it's not unsettling pattern.

No, unsettled. The patent came pre-unsettled. Hey, did you unsettle this pattern? While I was out of the room just now, you didn't unsettle my patent. I can be unsettled from a lack of pattern. Oh, me too. I'm very easily unsettled from a lack of pattern. I love the patent, dude.

I've been away for work. I've been interstate. Hated it. Couldn't get me back into the pattern. You know what? Sometimes people hear about your pattern. pattern. And they go, you'd be happy doing your pattern for your entire life. And when you do the little smile and you say, yep, they look at you like you're fucking crazy. That's why I made

it my pattern. I love the pattern. It's the pattern for a reason. The pattern makes me, I am the pattern. Me and the patner inextricably linked. This is like when Theo tells me that he would happily just take a pill once a day that meant that he didn't have to eat. Okay, that's crazy. My I got so much shit going on. I got so much shit going on. My pattern involves the sensual. I got it. Huh?

My emails are stressing me out. I could be using my email, my, my eating time to work out whatever it is I've got to do with my emails now. That sounds so sad. I could engage

with the many sumptuous and sensual textures and tastes of the world, or I could have more time to check my emails. Is that what you saying to me? I'm not saying that I enjoy checking my emails.

I'm saying that if I sorted them out, because I got like, I get emails for like school and stuff. Like, hey, you got to take whatever to class tomorrow. Not for me, for my child. I don't go to school anymore despite my dreams. I thought you went to school recently to fulfill your dreams. I did. Look at it now.

Yeah. My dreams are saying. your problems. But like, but like just the thought of like me missing stuff constantly is stressing me out. So if I had like a cap on that,

if I had like a system or something. But I want to go to system because I'm too damn busy cooking these eggs. Do you reckon you might enjoy food more if you had inbox zero? Yes. Okay.

I guess that's something for us all to consider. Oh, all the time. I've felt like I've been behind on everything in my life, my entire life. Every event that kind of like pops over the horizon of my calendar, which is like three or four days. That's the maximum time and I can understand.

Every new event is a shock to me. And I mean that in the pejorative sense. Like it's coming over and it and I'm like, oh, fuck it's this. Like shell shock. Like, yeah, I realize we're going on holidays on Thursday. And I also have my physio and my psych booked back to back in the morning. And I'm like, ah, now I've got to sort this shit. Right?

And I've found personally in my own life that instead of being like, oh, this is coming up and I know it's going to cause me problems, I'm going to move things around so that it doesn't cause me problems. I instead lock in to dealing with it mode where I sort of become like a real, I lose all my social energy, become a bit of a grumpy fuck. I become very rigid about what I got to do because I got to lock in for that stuff. I can unlock once I'm done. but I find that's the best way. Okay. All right. Just become unbearable.

Yes, is to become unpleasant for your loved ones to be around you. I find is generally the best. Yeah, cool. Okay. Best approach for that one. And we talk about swords in Swordwatch. Bong. Don't mind if I do.

It's come to us from WLNS in Michigan. Semi driver arrested on Mackinor Bridge after numerous illegal weapons found. Okay. Too crazy there. Theo, you got to look at pictures of the Macanaw Bridge. Wonderful bridge, great bridge. Maconore Bridge. I think we've talked about the Maconore Bridge before. We have and I pronounced it wrong every single time I said the name of it the last time we talked about it. Yeah.

A semi-truck driver from Texas was arrested on the Maconore Bridge earlier this week after state police seized 27 weapons during a traffic stop for something completely unrelated. I don't want to do a traffic stop on that bridge. That bridge is too big and too long. I don't recall there being a shoulder either, so I don't really... Yeah. No, it's sort of like middle of the middle lane, everyone's swerving around you. Yeah. Yeah. Holy fuck, this guy's got 27.

What police will gettanas out of your truck? Be close. Yeah. Okay. According to the Michigan State Police, the incident happened Wednesday at around 6.48 p.m. When a motor carrier officer patrolling the Mackinore Bridge saw a semi-truck calling a trailer, speeding and operating in hazardous.

manner. The officer then pulled the truck over and found the driver Eric Koreshik, 54 of Kingwood, Texas, had an active warrant out for his arrest and was taken into custody at the scene. Okay. Law enforcement later learned he was in possession of multiple illegal weapons with MSP seizing 27 individual items, including 15 double-edged knives, including three equipped with brass knuckle handles.

Now, those ones are pretty cool. Two throwing stars. with four double-edged sides. Oh my God. He got the full cousin cachet. He's got the cousin load out. Two additional sets of brass knuckles, including one spiked set.

Oh, my God. So what somebody starts telling you right after you have hit a bong like a bit too hard in their house on your first visit? I have 51 morning stars, 52 throwing stars, 40 maces, 35 swords. He's got the brass knuckle knife. in each hand and he is doing a karate demo a little too close.

You're sitting on his bed. Yeah. Any word on... You're starting to notice all the posters that are around, you know. Each one more unsettling in the last. Any word on whether he had any fire to whirlers in the back of the truck? Probably not illegal to have. Yeah, I don't think they mention those, but I think we can take it as red. I'd take it as red. Until we hear differently, we're going to assume that it was a...

five loaded pistols, one loaded rifle, one shotgun, and one large double-edged sword with a 32-inch blade. Now, Andrew, I think you're currently in the document, but I'll post this in the group chat because I would love for you guys to see this sword and to see if you recognize or if it evokes a specific blade for you guys. I mean, bloody Aragorn could be holding that.

I showed it to one of my colleagues this afternoon to work. And she immediately was like, well, that's the sword of Aragon, son of Ayrathorn. What's the sword called? Anderil. Anderoy, that's right, because that's what Palmer Lucky called his defense company. Yes. He should be.

Yeah. Put in a bit. Imagine, though. Imagine Aragon, he's coming towards some orcs, you know. He draws his sword. Yeah. He like swings it with one hand, but with the other hand, he lifts up a 44 magnum revolver. Yeah.

You know? And with AI, you could make that movie for yourself. And you think in the caves, in the depths, not a lot of room to swing a double-handed sword. No. It's time for the knife plus brass knuckles set up. You need a snub-nosed revolver and you need the brass knuckles knife that one of Michael B. Jordan's characters was wielding and sinners. Tell me that's...

He won an Oscar for a brass knuckle knife performance. That's huge. One of the first. One of the first? Well, he won half an Oscar for that. Now, half of your Oscar is for this, the other half. You will note that it is... So it has the pommel and the guard

and sort of the grip of Aragon's sword, but it's only single-handed. I believe it's a double-handed... on the sword from the film. Sure. It does seem like a fairly short handle. That's so that he can use one of the handguns that is pictured there with the other hand. I think that's obvious.

Yeah, that's true. He's switched his load out. He's dual spec. That's correct. He's got the pistol grip shotgun in there. Yeah. Which if it wasn't for the pump action on it, he could probably do some really sick pistol grip shotgun.

Well, he might be doing the one-handed. Whip it up and down thing. Yeah. on fat. Yep. All of these weapons had to have been purchased based on like whether or not you could see them being used in the movie equilibrium, right? Like every single one of these weapons has been bought on aesthetic terms.

Can I lightly push back on you? Would that be okay? I mean, I will fall over. Very high center of gravity. Can I hold you and lightly push back on you? I can't see them using a like a revolver in the world of equilibrium. It was very like either katanas or... Well, that's because the movie took place on the eastern coast.

You reckon one of the other megasties? I think you need to cast you fly wider to like tax an equilibrium. It's mainly submachine guns and machine pistols. Is that your assertion, Ben? What continent does the city in equilibrium exist? I don't think they say. because the grand leader guy is English Christian Bale is English

but he's doing an American accent Sean Bean is doing his English accent Is it London? Where were we? Oh, we're talking about sick fucking swords I really wish you guys could see this picture I agree I agree with you Ben

that not all of the weapons in this film would be at home I'm sorry, in this picture would be at home in the film equilibrium. But I also completely agree with you, Theo, that all of these weapons were bought based off having seen them

in a movie. Yeah. And being like, that's fucking cool. We've got a classic like American Ninja throwing stars. Far, American Ninja 1. American Ninja 1. American Ninja 2. American Ninja 3. American Ninja 4. Michael Dudacoff just giving his

absolute best. My eye is drawn to the Ruger-style rifle that looks like, well, sorry, I say rifle, it looks possibly like a pistol carbine actually, but with an enormous scope slapped on top as well. Yes. So. That one does look very cobbled together, doesn't it? Yeah. Looks kind of awesome.

That's like, you're not assassinating the president with it, but you might like, assassinate a candidate in a local gubernatorial race. 100% maybe. Some of the knives do look like you know in a John Wick movie what a mercenary might like pull out of their tactical vest

Yeah and it's the guy that's going to run it along his tongue as well before he like comes out of year. They're real sicko stuff because he's a sicker. He loves knives. Some of them look like an android from the Wayland Utani Corporation would maybe

use it to demonstrate its speed and dexterity, you know? Yeah. There is also a, now I only know this from the pen and paper role playing game series Dungeons and Dragons. Punch dagger is what I would describe that. Yeah, I just spotted that one, Ben. My eyes landed on it just the moment. It's so tiny.

That's the thing. It's easy to miss. And just to straight up spiked knuckles. You don't see spiked knuckles really that often in reality, I feel. Like not brass knuckles Not off my life Brass knuckles maybe This guy's setting out to maim

I think plenty of people Have been shown a set of brass knuckles By a friend at some point And thought to themselves I don't think you're meant to have that Yeah he was I'm going to say The last time someone showed me a set of brass knuckles

I was living in the beautiful city of Bundaberg, Queensland He was a guy called Ricky I think at the time he would have been 15 and it was a really classic, hey, check this out. Pretty cool, right? Yeah. Kind of conversation.

Had a lot of knives. A lot of knives. My uncle bought me this kind of energy. Yeah. Yeah. Parents aren't getting your brass knuckles. But Ricky's uncle? Ricky's uncle might see about getting you some brass knuckles.

Teach him to be a man. Troopers also found Karachik had two open containers of alcohol in the vehicle and found evidence during the inspection of the semi that he had allegedly falsified. his electronic logging device records. And for those two, he will be put to death. Yeah. Well, so it's interesting. Company fraud is very frowned upon.

Karachik was taken to the Mackinac County Jail Thursday. He was arraigned in the 92nd District Court in Mackinac County, on one count of carrying a concealed weapon. At MSP says he could face additional charges. One count of a concealed weapon and a lot of counts of a big pile of weapons. Unconcealed weapons. He has a passenger. your seat with like 30 knives and

50 guns on it but he had a tiny little gun hit it in his shirt pocket there like aha it's not about the weapons you got it's about that you tried to hide it from us we're just disappointed that you tried to hide the gun from us not mad just disappointed

police you can tell us anything we need you to be able to come to us and say hey I've got seven catatas a hand and a half sort that looks like Andrewill I've got a mace of flail I have a punched like from Dungeons and Dragons.

Yeah. I've got the, I've got the shotgun fist from Fallout tactics. A pile of a pile, massive pile on the passenger seat of guns and knives, cop saying,

hey, keep your hands where I can see it. Man, that fucking, that shotgun, the punch gun from Fallout Tactics, what a, cool idea. Yeah,

that was an awesome dude. Hey, if you were this truck driver and you had 30 loose weapons on your passenger, passenger seat where the cops pulled you over for swerving while you were drinking intoxicated. That'd kind of be the one thing you didn't want to happen. We talk about that kind of stuff in,

this is the one thing we didn't want to happen. This is the one thing we didn't want to happen. This is from KMBC in Missouri. Independence Police say Barbies possibly contaminated with fentanyl at Cargo Lago. That is Barbie with a capital B. That is right. It's not barbecues. you might think if you're a reasonable person.

Any Australians that listen to the show. Bloody hell, there's fentanyl and my barbecue. Average Australian sentence. It's such a bad Australian accent. Throw another fent on the barbie. Throw another fentanyl on the barbecue. That's actually what every Australian sounded like in the early 80s. I don't know what happened to us.

You don't have to go back that far to hear some fucking wild Australian accents. Hey, you ever see that like, footage from the 70s where they're just doing man on the street interviews somewhere like Brisbane. Oh my God. So like another planet. The ABC puts up a bunch of those and it's so weird that like the Australian accent only existed for I think 25 years because up until like the mid 50s we had like received

pronunciation English accents and then we sounded like someone in a movie doing an Australian accent for like 20 years. we sound completely neutral. Now it's sort of neutral, yeah. It's just like default. There's literally no divergence from English as it's sort of intended to be spoken. Now it's like basically none of us even have accents. I can't hear it.

I can't hear it. There is a lady. I might have mentioned this before because it tickles me so much. She used to work, I don't know why this is important. She used to work. So just to make you like to be tickled? I love to be tickled. Oh, I didn't know that about you.

I see the tickle monster and I go, go away. No. Update the wiki. Update the wiki. I actually hate to be tickled. I really hate it. Because I know I'm laughing, but I don't feel joy. Yeah.

You're sort of giving up control as well. Let's... Hey, let's get real for a minute. Do you guys mind if I get real for a second? Please, dude. Please. I'm so sick of this fake shit. Yeah.

I'm sick of fake shit. That's enough of the fake shit about tickling. Let's just all admit that any adult who says they want, want to be tickled. Number one, sex monster. Yeah. Perver. You're going to be jacked into a train. We all fucking get it.

We all know. We've all seen tickled. Great documentation about that. Oh, fuck. You've got to watch tickled. Yeah, I'll put it on. And I assume, without having done any research, I assume that the point is to be made horny by the lack of control that is happening to you.

Or it's sort of. It's a, it's that but voyeur. The people being tickled don't know it's for someone else's sexual gratification. Oh, surely there's people who are getting tickled hornily, right? Well, they know now. They told them after the movie, I think. Yeah. Well, thanks for that.

I'm going to bust so many nuts. You should, it's, the guy who made it ended up going on to make that, um, dark tourist or whatever, that can't be what it's called. Spooky tourism. That documentary series or whatever. Spooky tourism. Spooky tourism. Spooke.

You guys remember that? David Belly song. I'm a spooky tourist. I'm a freaky man in Thailand. I'm the freaky tourist. And I'm on a spooky journey. There comes a ghost. I don't care what you're wearing as long as you rub it on me.

Because I'm freaky. I'm free to be tickled. Don't tickle David Bowie. That's really good. I'm going to pee. What the fuck are we talking about? Who cares? I think you know, dude.

We're talking about David Bowie getting horny from being tickled. Yeah, because he's a spooky tourist. There's a reason. Look, honestly, very successful recording and touring artist. He doesn't need the money. He can do the larks. going on extras, you know, making fun of Ricky Jervais. He doesn't need that money.

Just like he doesn't need the money from starting a YouTube channel where he goes around spooky tourist spots and a ghost man jumps out, tickles him. Yeah. Oh. I'm scared. That's just for Bowie, you know? It's just a little cream on the cake. This is the alternate universe where David Bowie didn't die.

Not dead. He has a monetized YouTube channel where he arranges to get tickled by a... No, he's the spooky tourist because he's been spooked by the tickling. He's getting spooked. And he acts like he hates it. Don't tickle me.

I'm David Bowie. I don't think David Bowie would go to one of those haunted houses where they're like tase you and shit. Oh shit. That actually, we got one of our lovely listeners, I believe Frankie. I want to say. This is just from memory.

I'm not reading this out, but we were talking on the episode we just did with Alexi about how I, even though I know the performers can't touch you, I hate to be interacted with in that way. And I think you should be allowed to punch them to bring the power dynamic back online.

Sort of, yeah, Frankie was saying that there is a like, a permanent haunted house maze type thing in the valley called Evil Corp. where they're allowed to touch you. You've got to be, there are those ones where they make people sign like a waiver including death.

Yeah. Where they're like, we have to be able to do anything to you. And again, big time fetish. Underground in the heart of Fortitude Valley. Yeah. Evil call.

You can't be doing this in Australia. You're like, maybe you can get away with it in America. Well, this is the valley like, Fortitude Valley. This is Brisbane. They hate regulations. You can be doing it.

And they are. They're allowed to touch you. You signed a form, dude. It says, you can touch me. I'm a spooky tourist. Is it really that scary? Yes. I'm tick.

I'm ticking. The maze is underground cold and pitch black. Is that, that's in the FAQ? Isn't really that scary? Yeah, we give you only one little torch between two to light your way through the maze. Our scare actors are good at what they do. they just love to hear your screams and nervous laughter. Oh, no, come on, don't do that.

I saw a great Chinese tourism video recently where somebody was doing a like a Universal Studios type tour thing, not tour, like a, you know how there's like Jurassic Park type rides where a dinosaur will be coming out towards the cart that you're on, you know, or like a King Kong, a Jungle Cruise type thing. And so the first chunk of the video is these people in a golf cart type thing. and these dinosaurs coming out of some bushes and kind of shoving their heads into the cart

and the people going, oh. And the second part of it is the same sort of shot but someone in a gorilla suit just kind of stepping forward and punching one of the riders in the face. Just really whipping this guy's head back. And I'm like, yeah, that's pretty scary. I don't want to be chin-checked by a gorilla.

No, I don't want that at all. No. But are you saying... I thought that was taken as red. Yeah, and I guess the reason I bring it up, right, is because if I signed something in Australia that said, I may be touched in the haunted house. I'm never signing that, by the way.

I'm not signing it, but if I did. I'm not fucking signing it. There's nothing you can do. Let me leave, please. Stop blocking the doorway. I am leaving. I'm not signing it. You can't touch me because I haven't signed it.

Well, so for you, Ben, there's this section. what if I get too scared? This does happen. There are three ways to tailor your experience, blah, blah, blah. I'm just interested in the first one. First of all, you can wear one of our stunning W-U-S-S-S vests in the maze. So it's a vest that you can wear. You only get one per group.

How much do you think they had to, like, talk someone down from being like, yes, it's the P-U-S-S-Y vest. It's the, and you can just beep. there's only one pussy vest per crew yeah that's interesting but now which one of you guys is the pussy all hands straight up so they're operating on the one fedora per crew

rule with this vest which I think is completely reasonable you can hide behind the person in the pussy vest though and it affords you similar protections if I say human shielding the person in the pussy vest You're such a chicken My wife's wearing the pussy vest And I'm shoving her towards the ghouls

No if I sign a thing that says What if we both wear it like you put it around both of us We've buttoned it up at the front Can you make a big enough one If I sign a thing that says You may touch me in the haunted house Which like Ben said I'm not signing But if I did

I would take that to mean someone jumping out And like grabbing me and shocking me And shaking you not stepping out of the bushes and cold cocking me. Yeah. Not assault. I'm not picturing assault, basically. Yeah.

I'm not picturing someone like extending their arm in an arc for a full 180 degree slap where it just hits the head of my penis. I don't want a ghost to step out and do the roper dope. I don't want to see someone winding up in full 360s. Theo, what kind of touching would you be expecting if you said you may touch me at this place. I think they're going to put their hand out and they're going to make contact with you.

That is touching as it is defined. Somewhere on the, I just mean that that's it. Like no more than that. You're not expecting to be struck. And they're going to touch you like somewhere on your body and then they're going to say. Also, none of your projects will ever amount to anything

and you're too old to achieve them. You have a creative spark, but you've not put. the discipline in to act on it in any way so it'll lie dormant and it'll never be fulfilled. You stopping and saying, hold on I tick the touching box, not the hurting box. Yes.

And then they come and hammer a nail down your dick. And the question I was asking, what should I wear? Yes. We 100% recommend flat, snug fitting, covered shoes. The maze is pitch black.

Other than that, the panties. The panties. are your choice. Yeah, I was kind of thinking thigh highs, skirt that like just sits like, if I bend over even slightly, they're seeing everything. I can see a hole, yeah. Yeah, and I'm not wearing a bra. If I'm going into a haunted house, I am 100% wearing the horny, slutty Velma outfit. Oh my God. Big, thick, black rimmed glasses, you know, I've got a comedicly sized magnifying glass. Yeah. And I'm not wearing a bar. I need to look at stuff on the floor. You know, no panties. Yes, dude.

They found some Barbie dolls with some fetch to lend them or whatever. This was definitely an episode of the podcast, Putta Vista. Thank you so much for joining us on this journey. We learned so much. Isn't that crazy? Yeah. The human experience has so much depth that every week we get in our submarine and we just go down until we find something. look we learned a lot about ourselves we learn a lot about each other and we learned a lot about the world

when we're going down in our sovereign yeah yep yeah yeah we just love going down until something happens am i right here yeah and if nothing happens i mean you go a little longer it's okay to come back up in defeat be like well yep yep had a red hot go i gave it my best hell i tried pretty hard i gave my all ain't nothing more can be said about it That was the entree, and I'm all full. There's nothing wrong with living by the motto, there's always next week. You know?

Yeah, there's always next month. There's always the next alternating Tuesdays when the kids are with mother-in-law. Yeah, and I'm not feeling stressed out about whatever. Fuck, goodbye. We'll talk to you on the free episode. Bye. She's in the mood of the guy as we go