Boonta Vista - UNLOCKED BONUS EPISODE: Torn Apart By The New York Beef Council

Episode Date: May 14, 2023

As a little Mothers Day treat from us to you, we've unlocked an episode from behind our famous Iron Paywall. Consider subscribing maybe? *** Lucy, Theo, Andrew, and Ben bring you: A sexy mishap in the German woods, a farewell to the Forceful tug, monkeys loose in Lancaster, an award-winning burger, an eclectic burglary, and a very short-lived scam. *** Get the rest of our bonus episodes by signing up at patreon.com/BoontaVista

Hey, it's me, Ben from the podcast, Buntavista. At time of recording this, it's the morning of Mother's Day, and I thought it was a little Mother's Day treat for all the mums out there, we'd unlock a bonus episode from behind the paywall. This is partially because I think we just quite liked that episode and thought, hey, maybe you should hear it. And also, because maybe it will entice you to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go this this this this this this to this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this the morning the morning the morning the morning the morning the morning the the the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the to the to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to the., to the morning thethat episode and thought hey maybe maybe you should hear it and also because maybe it will entice you to go wait a damn second this is what's happening behind the paint wall I'm gonna subscribe to the podcast bunta vista on Patreon no pressure but maybe

consider it I hope you enjoy this episode I hope you have had a lovely mother's day whether you are a mother or you have a mother or you're just reflecting on positive maternal influences that you have had throughout your life or it's just been like a nice Sunday. Okay, bye. Hello and welcome to Vista. This is a bonus episode. I am Ben and I am here in the teeny tiny village of Bumble upon Gumdrop, where little Bumble's bumble their way about in a fashion, most Bumble Bumble Farm farmers grow juicy bomble apples for tasty bomble pies, and bumble brewers make bubbly bumble brew to fill up their little bumble tummies

at the bomble in after a jolly day of bumble work. Bumble librarians reshelvteeny tiny bumble books and bobblers cobble bobbler's cobble bobbler's boots for even little a bumble feet. The bumble birds are singing and the bumble bushes hang low with the fruit of delicious bumble bumble bumble. With me, collecting little bumble dewdrops from perfect bumble bumble with a twinkle in his eye and perfect rosy cheeks, his little grandpa bumble, the oldest and wisest bumble. It's Theo. Hi Theo. Why hello there. Another beautiful day in Bumble Town. Oh, every day is beautiful in Bumbletown, isn't it? It is, and I've seen enough of them. I've seen more than most, 470 years I've been alive in Bumbletown. That's right. It's impossible to die. It's impossible to die.

It's impossible to die. It's impossible to die. It's bumble upon gum drop. Because bumbles are too emotionally fragile for death. Also with me, having a little bumble daydream in her bumble hammock in her little bumble cottage, while her little bumble sash bumbles lazily in the breeze, it's the bumble mare. It's Lucy. Hi Lucy. A good bumble to you, Ben. Good bumble to you as well. I might understand that I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm a that I'm a that I'm, I'm a that I'm a that I'm a that I'm a that that thommable that that thomble- that to to that thombuomble- to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that thomfi, I'm thomfi thomfi- thomma, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm a the the thombuombuombuombuombuombuombuombuombuombuombuomble- too-fombuombubble-fomb Good bumble to you as well. I might understand that I am a bumble myself. Yes. But we are also enjoying some bumble pie this afternoon. Right. So I can see some bumble four bumbles. It's not. Yeah, it's four bumbles not of bumbles. Yes. I should know that. I am the mayor. I should have known this. I should speak to my citizens more after. I'm. I'm not. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. Yes. I should know that. I am the mayor.

I should have known this. I should speak to my citizens more often. And Ben, I'm not on, well, don't speak to me. I'm not on, I'm actually not on speaking terms with Lucy. So if you know, there's anything that, you know, if we need communication, no one talks about. Mayor Lucy after she threw me in jail 270 years ago for jacking my little bumble dick. Oh, let it go. Let it go. I just wish you guys had put your little bumble disputes aside so we can give back to having

some bumble harmony. It's been a dark few hundred years, this feud that you guys have had. Really cast a pull over what is an otherwise perfect little bumble village. Also with us, reclining lazily in his little bumble fuckhut, exhausted from having his teeny tiny bumbleholes fucked inside and out, socked seven ways from Sunday, fingered, licked, licked, slapped, pounded, hammered, nudded in and nodded on by everyone in the bumble village with a dick a pussy both or otherwise.

Twice a day and four times on Sunday, it's the Bumble Cummster. It's a living. Every town's got one. Every town has one. Every little Bumble Village. I expect this from maybe Andrew possibly. I drew a... I drew a... I drew the longest straw. I drew the longest Wumble straw, which is how we do it here and really...

You'd think it was pretty obvious which one was going to be like the longest out of all of them, but I managed. Yeah, almost like you were going for it. Just sort of grabbing straws, pulling up, and be like, whoop, no, no, no, let me have another crack at this. Oops, seemed a little short. There's also no Bumble economy, so you're kind of doing this just for, that's your role in life, I think. This is sort of like, uh, Star Trek. To each according. Yeah, there's no money in the communist

Star Trek future or in the Bumble Village. You're not getting paid for this because you don't need to be paid because you know you all your needs are to be met. That's because you are the platonic idea of a calm dumpster. Yeah you are meeting other people's needs and that's what life is about finding a joy. What a beautiful little place we have. It's not it's it's a the it's a the it's a the it's a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the c. It's the c. It's th. It's th. I the comm. I the commest. I the the the the the the the their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the c. I I the c. I the c. I the c. I the c. I the c. I th. I th. It's the th. It's th. It's the th. It's the th. It's tom. It's tom. tom. tom. tom. tom. tom. tom. tom. tom. tom. tom. tom. tom. tom. the that's what brings you joy and that's what life is about. It's about finding your joy. What a beautiful little place we have. It's each according to his ability and brother, I am willing and able. Yeah.

Yeah. We're still good for two o'clock. I'm just, I'm lying back in the hammock having a little break, swiping away away on Bumble. Oh, come on. Very early to call it, but you might be the Buntomistic comedian of the week. Swiping around, Bumble, getting ready for my next encounters, plural. Everyone in the village is on Bumble as well because the radius kind of expands from Wall to Wall. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So that was the Bumble intro. That's the Bumble intro. Yeah. And if you're wondering where the land of Bumble is full of communist and come dumpster lifestyles. It is, of course, located in Europe. Folks, it's time for Europe Watch. Now I just want to stress before we get into this story that it is not about me. Repeat, this story is not about me. From the Associ associate of press man rescued

from woods after sex game goes awry which anybody else ever have those those words that you only had only read in books and then at some point you said out loud what you thought yeah you said ory yeah a bunch of people looked at you like you're a fuckhead yeah fucking you're the dumbest fucking the thu-fucking you're the dumbest fucking thou-y-y-y-old thi th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th-a th-a-a-a-a' th-a' th-a' the- the- the- the- the- the the the the thin the the the the their their their their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-n-n-meed th-meed th-n-mea-s tum-s tum-s tum-s tum-s tum-s tum-n-s thumbest thumbest thumbest thumbest the the thin the the word was. Yeah, you said it was definitely orry? And then a bunch of people looked at you like you're a fuckhead. You're the dumbest fucking 11 year old I've ever met. Said my extended family, pointing, fooding, I mean. I spent like three years going Seagway for Segway. Yeah, you actually do this about once every four episodes with the word. Yeah, it's very frequent. I don't think I do.

Making bold new linguistic leaps, but... New word in the Theot English Dictionary. Hey, if you bully someone because they say to word wrong, that means they learned it from reading books, which means they're a fucking nerd so get their answers. Continue bullying. Bully harder. German police, say a 51 year old man, see not me, who was left tied up in the woods when a sex game went awry, had a lucky escape after a cyclist and a hunter heard his screams for help.

Yeah, oh, somebody. I hope nobody finds me. I'm so vulnerable here in the woods. It's so embarrassing to be found by a cyclist and a hunter. Oh no. Excuse me, I need someone to come look at me, please. I'm on tied up. I'm wriggling like a little bug.

I'm like the rat in the trap. Not too soon. Police said the man was discovered fully dressed but firmly bound with ropes and pantyhose over his head atop a deer hunting platform near the town of Birkberg late Wednesday. This just sounds like someone being bullied. I think he's been like, oh yeah I was playing a sex game. Yeah no. It was for come stuff. It was a sex speeler as they say. Very cool. Maybe he got betrayed by some other guys that he robbed a bank with. Stocking over the head fully clothed and they said, hey,

what's that over there? Knocked him out, tied him up, took his share. It was pretty cool of them not to kill him, I think. But he's also gone, the Coastra Nostra, like, what's it? What's the thing? What's the thing? The Costa Dostra is? No, I know you know... Oh, yeah. A murder?

Yeah, Ben's got it. So he's not saying shit. Oh, murder. No, he's not saying it was for sex stuff. Yeah, that's the code. You always say it was for sex stuff. Yeah. I bet this is like the beginning of Batman, the dark night rises where every time he's like he takes out another guy so he gets

to keep the whole cut so there's just a trail of tied up German dudes throughout the woods where he's like yeah we tied up those guys but guess what you're getting tied up as well Klaus nine well probably won't happen to me they're all saying as they help tie up the most recent guy party getting smaller how do you think it goes th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the thi the thi the the the th th th th th th th th th th th th is th is th is th is th i th i thi th i thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the thi the thi the thi the the thi the thi the're all saying, as they help tie up the most recent guy. Party getting smaller. How do you think it goes with the last two guys? Hey, can you touch your thumbs together behind your back? I can't.

I can't. Maybe you've got the skill to do it. Science says only the smartest people can toubst togue tir bag. In a statement Friday police said the man appeared to have been tied up by a woman he met online. After she had done so the woman received a phone call and fled the wood suddenly leaving the man behind in a helpless date. Oh, gotta go. So we're gonna take this. Just meeting a guy to go. Just meeting a guy online being like oh yeah for sure I'll tie up and like do sex stuff with you. Yeah. Just leaving. Hit the breast. Let's go out to that deer hunting platform in the woods together.

Yeah. Should I take off all of my clothes? No, leave him on. I got the ropes, come on. Kind of feels like I should be taking off my clothes now. Did he have a wallet when the police arrived is what I'd like to know.. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the the the the to go. the the the the the the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to go. Let's. Let's the to go. Let the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. Let. Let's. Let's tre. Let's just just. Let's trea. Let's true. Let's true. Let's true. Let's true. Let's true. Let's thea. Let's the the the the taking off my clothes now. Did he have a wallet when the police arrived is what I'd like to know. Part of the game, part of being a good sub. Let's bring back the thing where a lady gets a guy in a hotel room and says, ooh, I want to tie your wrists up to the bedhead and then she immediately changes to demeanor, yeah, cleans out that wallet. She's mean, actually. Yeah, the police, the police, the police, the police, the police, the police, the police, the police, the police, the police, the police, the police, the police, the police, the police, the police, the police. Yeah, the police, the police, the police, the police, the police, the police the police the police. Yeah, the police the police the police the police the police the police the police the police the police the police the police. the police. the police. the police. the police. the police. the police. Yeah, the police. Yeah, the police. Yeah, the police. Yeah, the police. Yeah, the police. Yeah, the police. Yeah, the police. Yeah, the police. Yeah, the police, the police, the police, the police, the police, the police, the bedhead and then she immediately changes to Mina. Yeah, cleans out that wallet. She's mean actually.

Yeah, it turns out. But not in a sexy way. Yeah, she seems so friendly before. But now, mean. Yeah, she goes from sexy mean to regular mean. Her accent changes from German to Spanish. And then she takes you a briefcase full of important topsesesese My blueprints for the wiener factory where you work like 90% of people in Germany Oh these are 400 year old ween secrets My wiener secrets Quote, the 51 year old told officers that he had a box cutter on him, quote, for such

situations. But he seemed to have underestimated the woman's bondage skills because he was unable to reach the knife, police said. First, box cutter, unbelievably aggressive form of knife to keep on you for cutting some ropes. Just have a leatherman on you. That's normal. Don't be weird.

But also for such situations, it's just happened before. Well, I'm imagining this to be like, you know, the nasty forest. You know, the nasty forest in Japan where people go to off themselves. So it's sort of like that except it's Germany's sex forest. Sex game forest. When we go to wank and have your wallet taken. Yeah. It's the nastiest forest of wall.

Leave me tied up fully clothed with my wallet gone in the forest. Once a month the forestry service goes in there to toss some pornos on the ground. The man was unharmed and refused to provide information about the woman's identity. A murder. I'll never tell. She doesn't work around here. She's from a different, She's from different Germany. Police have opened an investigation of her on suspicion of failure to render assistance and possible deprivation of liberty. What is the crime? What is the crime officer? Put some pantyhose on a guy that and left him in the forest.

I mean, this guy does not sound keen to be like proceeding with charges or anything, does they? Because she doesn't exist. Yeah, that is major issue I think. If he says he's fine with it like sure he's not happy but like he's not like oh shit get that lady she fucked me up he's just like no don't get her it's okay then what's the crime he loves it he got off on it. He like of course he's not happy zero ropes busted but yeah. Well, one rope, regardless. By the end.

Just on the way out, you know. Hey, speaking of tugs that this guy didn't get, it's time for a story about a tug that Brisbane Soon won't have. It's the memoriam watch. That's right. Oh, this one was hard to ride up. This one was a little personal for me. I think for Ben as well, it's going to get a little hard.

Yeah, not me and Lucy though, so we're just going to kind of tune out for this one. Yeah, absolutely. I think we'll take you on a the to to to to to thue, thue, thue, to thue, thue, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. That's, th. That's, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thin, thin, thin, thin, thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooom, thi I think we'll take you on a little journey as well. It's going to be, it's some ups and downs in this, lots of ups and downs I think. Sometimes side to side, depending on how it's oriented. Yeah. Yeah. But I mean, visitors and residents of Brisbane will of course be familiar with our forceful tug. It's a site and name that's become synonymous with Brisbane South Bank but unfortunately it's tug. It's a site and name that's become synonymous with Brisbane South Bank but unfortunately it's time for us to close the curtain on the forceful tug. What a tug it was though. The forceful tug first began in Scotland in

1925 on behalf of the Queensland Tug Company. She serviced Brisbane tirelessly between 1926 and 1970. It's a long time to tug. Tugging up and down the Brisbane River. She even, I didn't know this, she even provided tug services to casualties as needed. Um, this will make you feel better. Get the priest. Add the forceful tug. During the war, Australia desperately needed tugs. And so the forceful tug rolled up her sleeves and got to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the theug. During the war, Australia desperately needed tugs and so the forceful tug rolled up her

sleeves and got to work in Fremantle in Darwin in 1942. In Fremantle, the tug served as an examination vessel before being commissioned as the HMAS forceful tug and serving in Darwin. Even during the period when Darwin received repeated Japanese air raids, our forceful tug our brave soldiers as tug was there to tug our brave soldiers as they headed out to sea. Many a troop was welcomed home by our familiar forceful tugg. Beautiful. The forceful eventually returned home to civilian tugging in late 1943, where she performed her tugging duties tirelessly until their retirement in September 1970. Found her home at the Queensland Maritime Museum in 1971,

where all could come and witness the forceful tug and all her glory. The forceful tug was kept going for years, and even serviced tourists along the Brisbane River and Morton Bay. Unfortunately, in 2006, the forceful and Morton Bay. Unfortunately in 2006 the forceful tug was deemed to be not safe and by 2012 the tug had developed a small leak. Still even when it remained in its wet dock the forceful tug continued to inspire joy and wonder to all who saw it. I personally always took the time to stop and peer at the

forceful tug on my way over the footbridge between QUT and the Maritime Museum but unfortunately all good things come to an end. And this was a tug that lasted far, far longer than most. The forceful tug has unfortunately been scrapped as of time of writing this. We will continue to remember the feeling we all had of experiencing the forceful tug long into the future. That was really moving and incredibly touching and I just want to... It's just like the forceful tug. If you are from Brisbane, you might be completely unaware of what Theo is talking about because what he's done is... I don't know about that.

I don't know about that. He... I'm going to say you've been thinking about this for at least as long as your screen name and discord has been save Brisbane's forceful tug, which has been, what, a couple of weeks. You've been thinking about the fact how there is a, there's, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, the, tho, thi, thu, thi, thu, thu, thi, thi, thu, thu, thu, thu, I thu, I'm, I'm tho, I'm, I, I thu, I'm thi, I don't tho, I'm tho, I'm, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I th. I th. I, I, I th. I th. I tho, I tho, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I'm thin, I'm thin, I'm tho, I'm tho, tho. tho. tho. tho. thooo. thoo. thooo. I don't thoo. I'm tho. I'm tho, I So it's actually a slight stretch to call it the forceful tug because it's not the name of the vessel. Well just like the forceful tug. This is so fucking stupid. Anyway yeah goodbye to the forceful tug. Good night. We're waving goodbye. Beautiful tug. May angels tug thee to thee to thee rest. May you tugge for you tugg the tugge tugge to tug the to tug to tug the to tug to thy rest. May you tug forever in heaven. You tugging at Jesus is right now. There's a boat called the forceful tug. There's a boat called the forceful. And it is a tug. That is correct. I don't get it. What's the joke? Just for the fellas. Just for the fellas.

Oh, women be... Not Just for the fellas. Oh, women be... Not one for the ladies. The forceful tug. Yeah. The forceful tug, it's being scrapped and recycled so that its components can return where? To nature.

It's time for Nature Corner. This is a press release from Lancaster City Council. I think that's how that's pronounced. God save the king! Oh yeah, yeah. Yeah. Didn't watch it. Marmoset's Go Missing. Uh-oh.

I think that's how that's pronounced. God save the king! Oh, yeah. Didn't watch it. Marmissets go missing. Oh. Oh, yeah. Didn't watch it. Marmissettes go missing. Uh-oh. Oh. Oh, no.

They sure do. Lancaster City Council has been notified that some Marmesset monkeys have escaped from a property in the Canfeth area. Marmots have specific welfare needs specifically relating to their environment and climate, as most things do. Yeah. As they are wanted to their environment and climate, as most things do. Yeah. As they are wanted to do. It's very important that they remain at this exact spot in England.

Yeah, that's right. Well, they can finally have their needs fulfilled. In Lancaster. As Marmousetts are not native to the UK, and originate from tropical locations, such as Central and South America, they require a much warm to to to to to to to to their environment their environment their environment their environment their environment their environment their environment their environment their environment their environment their environment their environment their environment their environment their environment they require a much warmer climate than that of the UK. They're likely to try and find somewhere warm to rest overnight, so check bird boxes, garages and sheds. Yeah. Please do not attempt to catch the monkeys as this may cause risk of injury to yourself or the monkeys and please do not try to feed them either. As if you find a monkey in your shed, as if you to th if th is th is th is thi if thi if you thi if you thi if you thi if you thi if you thi if you thi if you thi if you thi thi thi to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the try try try try try try try try try and find try to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to shed, you're telling me not to give it a banana. Oh my god. You're telling me not to let it inside. You tell me it can't come into my bed.

Yeah, put it on the couch. I'm putting something fun on Netflix. Yeah, you're saying I can't put in Dunstan Checks in on my mom's set? We had the same thought. We're pointing at the screen like, we'd th. Two seconds of thought about what maybe would you put on if you hang it out on a monkey. Because I wouldn't put on Planet of the Apes. No. I wouldn't put on Congo. I wouldn't put on Congo.

I wouldn't put on a outbreak. Wouldn't do a outbreak, Congo doublehead. If anyone has any sightings of the monkeys. If anyone has any sightings of the monkeys, please call a report location and time of sightings to one of the following agencies. The Lancaster City Council Animal Licensing Dog Warden team. Don't seem qualified. The police, again, don't seem qualified, the RSPCA, which I'm a little bit on. What I really wanted to talk about though was there are some Facebook comments for this

in the various places it's been reported as news that I really enjoyed. From the UK you're saying. These are from the UK. Right, so I'll try and to make this immersive as possible, I'll try and do it in an authentic lank accents. I had one as child, lull. When it got cold though it died. They better find them quick or they're going to die. No you didn't. No you didn't. Everyone knows you're lying. Stop making stuff up, Tony. Here's another one. Or I moss my mom breeding theseas, XX, lovely animals. Sorry?

Or I moss my mom breeding theseers. X X X X X, L-X, lovely animals. Sorry? Or, I lost my mom breeding these as. X, X, lovely animals. British ladies love a double X. They love putting an Xx. They do. I want to know what the typo is. Are they saying, I miss my mom breeding these? Or I lost my mom breeding these.

This is just like a... Two paths in the forest diverge. Why was your mum breeding them? Yeah, very confusing. I've got another one here. Is it only one or a complete set? What do you mean? What do you mean?

What do you mean? Is that being presented with a mama set and immediately looking the person saying, Where's the other ones? Where are the other three? I can't do anything with this. Yeah, I need a nuclear family for mom sets. All right, it's not worth shit to me. You get a synergy bonus if you equip all of them at the same time.

Got another one here. Couldn't you put it in the news somehow, then something might get done? It's a re-sponsor the news story. That's incredible. Someone should do something, did I think the monkey's going to read the news and go, fuck, that's what they should put this somewhere where someone could see it. There is, there's something like that seems to happen to like boomers on Facebook where no matter where something is coming to them from, they think it like just magically materialized. No one is talking about them. Why is nobody reporting on this?

Why won't the media talk about this story that we're commenting on from the Sydney Morning Herald? So strange. I got another one here. Not another selfish person thinking that a Mamma set is better off living as a human instead of with their own card. Yes. Look, before I can render an opinion on that, I really have to know if the monkey was

wearing an outfit and what kind of outfit it was. Was it wearing a suit? Did he have a briefcase? Was he living as a human? Were they living as humans? Yeah. This one's nice and short. And got four cry laugh reacts.

Planet of the mama set. Oh, wait, sorry. No, I got that wrong. Planet of the Momo set. That is so funny. That's come baby. Person who posted that you? You are the the Puentevista comedian of the week. You are the Lancashire comedian of the week. He's another one. I don't think I'll be reporting any sightings as they shouldn't be allowed as pets. I'd rather let them roam around and let them enjoy what's left of their freedom. Yes, that's what I'm talking about. They shouldn't be allowed as pets. I would

prefer a community of feral marmasets. Yeah, let him live on the streets. I want them to get to get hit by a car. It would they they would th, it would th, it would th, it would th, it would their their their their their th, it would their their th, it would th, it would th, it would th, it would th, it would th, it would thi, thi, that thi, thi, thi, Let him live on the streets. Yeah, I want them to get hit by a car. It would bring them so much joy. It's called nature. Survival of the fittest bitch. I say bearing down on my, paring down on a mama set and my JAG X12. I'm a liar Robin to take them out. Why are we looofing? They should not be in a house. So I spent laughing with our- Why are we looofing?

Why are you looofing? If Mama sets are in the house and you're looofing? This one, this final one here is a two-parter. Why did it escape? Who let it out? Nothing to worry about, it's armless. Sorted. Eh. You figured out, you've answered it? You figured it out. Yeah. Sorted. I love Facebook comments. I really come around on just reading Facebook comments for an hour instead of looking at Twitter at any time. Just like a news dot com story. We'll just have the best like a boomer responses. Just you can read them for hours.

It's great time. They're in the sweet spot as well. Like somehow the Twitter replies, well not somehow we all know how have gotten like have crossed the Rubicon into just completely unhinged. And they're no fun anymore. They're no fun anymore. Check out news.com. Yeah. Yeah. Sweet middle ground. Bit silly.

That's a 2014 flavor. Yeah. You know, the kind of comment you can't take too seriously. Folks, what if there was a community of wild marmasets in your area, perhaps it would become a sustainable source of food for you and the other locals. Yes, you may find marmasets on a menu near you. It's time for Looks Like Menus back on the menu. Looks Like menu, back on the menu, boys.

Even though I stealed myself, like 10 seconds ahead. Looks like menu, back on the menu, boys! Even though I stealed myself, like 10 seconds ahead. That one just do it for you, huh? We're so stupid. It's the stupidest one, I think. Country Bar. This comes from the Niagara Gazette, rock Burger Entrae nominated for States Best Burger. It isn't. Yeah, okay.

Well, I mean, the burger might be. I mean, it's not an entree. They're just a, yeah. It's a main. It's just a main. They have no explanation for that one. Can't justify that one. Yeah, Americans are confused.

They've stopped taking their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their that one. Yeah, Americans are confused. They've stopped taking their pills and they're dizzy. Rockburger's 716 Burger has been nominated for Best New York Burger. An annual contest the New York Beef Council puts on. Oh my god. A bunch of really yoked dudes. We assemble the Beef Council. Each of us more swall than the last. All of the highest ranked, fucking beefy dudes climbing down from the mountaintops, blowing into the beefcake horn to summon them to the council. Yeah, blowing into like a hollowed out

steer horn. You know, woo-hoo. Quite, it's cool to get recognized from people other than in the area, said Rockburger founder Jason Lizzardo. Hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah, they live amongst us. It now has the chance to win the title against three other burgers from across the state. The 716 is one of many stuffed burger options at rock burger locations.

Don't do that. Stop stuffing it. Stop stuffing it. It can go on the outside. Yeah. You're messing with something dark. Yeah, something ancient. It's the way it is for a reason. It is

stuffed upside down just like me on any weekday and night in Bumbletown. That's right. Stuffed upside down with wing dip and cheese and topped with mozzarella, Frank's hot sauce, blea cheese or ranch dressing, and pepperoni and mozzarella on the top bun. You are now allowed to look at the image. Please scroll down. That is a rainsed. No, that sounds yummy.

Right, so this is an audio medium. So I'm going to explain this. to literally on top of the bun. theyrall. a square of a square of mozzarella. A square, a slice of mozzarella. For mozzarella to come in and then four. Four pepperonies. Yeah, arranged like, you know, the four on a dice. Yeah.

Or like the points on a compass. Yeah. Yeah. It's just on top of the burger. So you're touching it. You're holding pepperoni, like notoriously wet, notoriously a wet meat. Just squeezing grease out of it. Yeah. I don't like the vibe of this at all. This burger straight up sucks.

I'd eat it though. But how? How are you eating it? I could not eat this. This would turn me into the shitting machine from Goma. Oh, yeah, 100%. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'd th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. that, just just just just just just just just, just, just, just, just, just, tape, just, just, tape, just just, just, just, tape. tape. too. too. too. too. too. too. too would turn me into the... My hands in my fingers will be so greasy. This would turn me into the shitting machine from going up. Oh, yeah, 100%. I wouldn't get through it. It's a shitting machine from Mona. From Moe. How da'am.

I feel like I would be the first one of us to defend this and eat it. I eat many very calorie-d dense foods and everything, but like, the classic issue with this kind of burger, there's way the fuck too much going on. Even outside of like, you know, the logistics and the structural problems of, like you said, Ben, trying to pick this up and eat it. Literally how? How do you do it? Like, how many, how many fucking flavors do you thoo tho and cheese that it's stuffed with. And then you're putting mozzarella on there and then Frank's hot sauce and blue cheese or ranch, which is in keeping with the wing theme, I guess.

What's wing dip? Is wing dip not blue cheese or ranch? Well, I thought, yeah. Yeah, blue cheese and ranch dressing are normally the things that you that you that you that you that you that you that you that you that you that you that you that you that you that you that you that you that you that you that you that you that you that you thip thip thip thip thip thi.. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th th th thi. th thi. thi. th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi.. I thought that those were, yeah, blue cheese and ranch dressing are normally the things that you dip a hot wing in, right? So, I don't know, maybe you're just getting double of that. So all of this is kind of consistent with like, uh, with like buffalo wing flavors, right? Which to me is not necessarily, doesn't really work with beef. And then, you start fucking pizza style on top of it.

Pepperoni and mozzarella up there. What are you doing? They should shove a straw through it and put it on a milkshake. Yes, yeah. And there should be onion rings on there as well. Stacked on top, perfect. All up on the straw. And then the person that brings it to you at your table just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just,

And then the person that brings it to you at your table just punches you in the mouth. Yeah, you should have to play one game of Russian roulette before eating this burger. Just to prove you really want it, you know? This is fucked up. Why can't they just make a burger that looks like a burger and you bite into it and you go, fuck, that's a really good good, old-fashioned burger. Just make me a bloody good old-fashioned burger. What's it just a good old burger? Typing that in on my Facebook comment on this thing. What happened to cheese burgers?

Firing up by ancient graying plastic desktop computer to type, what happened burger? What happened, burger? I'm just looking at some of the other burgers that are finalists in this competition, because there is the three other nominees of the Aftermath Burger from Rochester's Tappet Bar, the bacon grilled cheeseburger from Syracuse's Ayl and Angus Pub and the Benny Burger from Port Jarvis's Benz Fresh. Oh, that's a very, that's a very, um... It's a Ruth Chris, it's a Ruth Chris.

She said, Ben's Fresh. Um, who was it that just bought? Ruth, Ruth Chris, it was Olive Garden, just purchased. Yes, I believe so. I believe so. Oh, Darden Restaurants. So that's the company that owns Olive Garden. So it'll be Darden Restaurants' Olive Gardens, Ruth's Chris. Yeah. Makes sense. So the, the aftermath burger.

It's got a bunch of shit on it, it turns out. Turns out they've all got a bunch of shit on them. They just don't have impulse control over there. Like they don't understand that like a simple thing done well is quite nice. They're just like, what if you add all of it together? And that will be best of good because it's all of good on top of each other. Check out the McDouble. Yeah, oh my god. That's a good old-fashioned but simple, rustic, how would you improve the McDouble? You take the asbestos out of it? Maybe. Sure, that might make it a little

bit better. But what are we going to lose flavor-wise if you take the asbestos out. Why bother? We don't need new burgers. Yeah. We've got all the burgers. The McDouble exists. Sometimes the McDouble is $2. Sometimes. Which is fucking crazy. Oh, so the aftermath burger, and I'm looking at the menu of the Tappet Bar and Grill now, the aftermath burger is American Cheese, So they are by default a half pound, a half pound of a paddy.

It's about a 8, 8 kilos. So you got your 250 gram paddy, which is like already as much as a steak, you know. Yeah, that is like more protein than your average dinner all right there. You're not shitting for a week. I think that's as much beef as like the average person would be happy to eat in a steak, you know. That's balancing out your boughs because that's constipating you. And you've got all the cheese on top. What if we added American cheese, bacon, a hash brown, a fried egg, hot meat sauce and onion straw? What's an onion straw? That's the part you're curious about?

Rest of it makes sense. Hot meat sauce? I don't know what meat sauce is. Is it sauce forming? I'm just taking that to mean like a red a red meat sauce like you would get on a spaghetti. Oh, delicious ragu. Yeah, no, Americans, yes. Yeah, yeah. And again, they mean a gravy. They mean an Italian gravy. Oh, we're talking about a meat reduction zoo here. Sort of a meatless ragoo, perhaps, full meat, but not of meat.

And again, just way the fuck too much going on. You know, this is entirely too many flavors ofi. tha. tha. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi. that. that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, to to to to to th you know? This is entirely too many flavors together. You're not tasting any of those things anymore, I think, once. I feel like the whole concept of like having a meal being an existential battle for your life was, it was like at the height of Guy Fieri's popularity, it should have been a concept that quickly faded into history, right? Like we should have just left it. Yeah, I got a little less man-vers food and a little more man-enjoying food normally. Yeah. How about a little man-and-food working together?

Let's enjoy each other. I went to Denny's last week when I was in Honolulu. It's really hung up. I was like why don't we go to Denny's and then I remembered like what foods like in America sometimes. What did you get? I got some nachos I just got like a regular thing of nachos for one person to eat. It was just a wet mess it had like the, oh come on. The liquid cheese. I I I I I I I I I I th. I I I I I th. I I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I just th. I just just just just just th. I just just just th. I just th. I just th. I just th. I was just th. I just th. I was just th. I was just th. I was just th. I was just th. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was just th. I was just th. I go. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I was just th. I was just th. I was just to to to to to th. I was just th. I was just to th. I was just th. I was just th. I was just th. I was just th. I was just th. I was just th. I was just th. I was just a wet mess. It had like the, oh come on, the liquid cheese and just wet, wet beef. I just want to, I want to say I think that the award should go to the Benny Burger from Port Jervis's Benz Fresh. What's the Benny's burger? Thank you. Shout out to where is the menu? For having a fresh scan of the menu. The Benny burger is a

cheeseburger, lettuce, tomato, onions, pickles, Benny sauce. Yeah, finally. That's a fucking hamburger. Good job. Turns out Benny sauce is like they're code for putting a hot dog in there. It's either that or they have to like... Slice hot dogs in gravy. It's either that or they have to like... sliced hot dogs in gravy. It's either that or they have to, they got a puree, an incredibly rare animal. It's a that's right. It's just a quart of motor oil. It's half marmaset.

Can't beat that benni sauce. Just can't beat it folks. Mmm. Mmm. And you can get busted up trying to force feed those guys. Yeah. The final face-off is on Monday at Onondaga Community College in Syracuse. A panel of judges will taste and score each entry to determine the winner who will be announced

on the Beef Council's social media channels. We should start following the Beef Council. Yeah, I think so. Absolutely. I think so. Absolutely. The winners get the recognition of having the state's best burger, arbitrary, subjective. Which is something Lazzardo can help market his business. There is a word missing from that is so true. But it's not up to us to figure out which word. Remember when they fired all the sub-editors in the world. Yeah. It was a good time. Aside from this recognition, Lizardo will also appear on an episode of the Food Network's Guys Grocery Games. There he is. Yeah. Which will error on May 24th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th is th, th is th, th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th, th, th, th is th is th, th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. Lto th. tho tho tho thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo th. th. th. thcery Games. There he is. Yeah. Which will air on May 24th.

Could not escape his tentacled grasp. Hey, everybody loves Guy Fieri now. No, they do because he officiated 99 gay weddings on the day that gay marriage was legalized in Florida because he's a fucking ally. And every time there's a natural disaster he rocks up it makes five thousand pounds. Seems like a genuinely cool guy. Yeah. Yeah. Let that man have a silly shirt you know. Hey let him cook. Let him cook. Let him cook. Let him cook. There's a a this is really good stand-up stand-up routine from a guy.

I think on Conan, I don't know the comedian's name, he sounds like he's from somewhere in the south, where, this is from, like, years and years ago, where he's basically saying all of those talking points, about why, why, guy- blah, blah, and all this stuff. And you're like, wow, this is really good, really insightful. But also, the like the end bit of it, like the punchline of it is him trashing Anthony Bordaid and be like, that guy looks like he kills dogs. And it was like shortly before.

Oh, no kind of it, um, yeah, it dates it, it'd be... Hey, no one said comedy had to be safe, Ben. That's right, you gotta push the boundary sometimes. You don't know who's gonna die. No one has a book of everyone that's gonna die and when and whether it's okay to say that they look like they kill dogs. Somebody does. That guy's name is the bye-by-man. That's right. I forgot about the bye-by-man for a second.

You didn't forget about me. Oh folks, bleaching your hair and then gelling it up into funny spikes and cutting your goatee into a funny shape and bleaching just part of the goatee, just the sole patch part of the goatee, and then putting on a bowling shirt that is black and has a bunch of flames on it. It's not a crime. If it were were were th we we we th we were were were were the th we th we th we th we were were th we th we th we th we were th. the the the the the. to to to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be and has a bunch of flames on it. It's not a crime. If it were a crime, we'd be talking about it in this segment. Crime watch.

Please put down your weapon. You're in direct violation of the Code of 1369. You now have five seconds to fly. Help me! Help me! Help me! Help me! Help me! Yeah! Help me! Help me! I'm not all the criminal investigations department of Green County, Tennessee. This comes to us from the Criminal Investigations Department of Green County, Tennessee. Following information gathered about a reported burglary, a search warrant

was conducted at 130 Timbers Lane in the South Green area off the Asheville Highway. A large amount of stolen property was located in the residents belonging to Charles Eugene Cutshaw, age 55, including multiple antiques. Detectives also went to a barn on Asheville Highway near Timber Lane and recovered more stolen items, including an enclosed trailer. Charles E. Cutschaw was charged with driving on revoked license, third offense and theft greater than $10,000. His bond was set at $28,000 and his arraignment was set for May 5th in Green County's Sessions Court. That Chuck E. Cutshaw. That's Sly Dogg himself. Chuck E. Cutchore. Chuck E. Cutchaw. The E stands for Entertainment. Now that's not a hugely funny paragraph of text.

55 year old man stole a bunch of stuff. Okay. It's called Exposition, sweetie. Yeah, that's setting us up for the payoff, which is that this is an audio medium and the funny part of this is a series of photos. So let me paint word pictures for you by describing the images in the photos of the things that this man is accused of having allegedly stolen. First picture, posted by the department of investigations or whatever the f-frake is a framed picture posted by the Department of Investigations or whatever the fuck is a framed picture in a beautiful golden frame of a painting of a young old-timey possibly Victorian-era girl playing a saxophone in the woods. Oh no! Okay. Nah. That one's 10 grand all by itself. There is a large collection of glass bowls, vases and platters, a pair of muddy boots and a framed photo of three children.

That looks like it was taken in maybe to 70s or 80s. There is a wall-mounted and framed antique pistol that looks like it has several clockwork components. Okay. There is a wooden ironing board with a hand-painted illustration of a farmhouse and some apples on it. Okay. This is great it's like he's broken into someone's home and just taken whatever. Well they don't have a PS 5 so I've got to to get something home. He's done what we all dream of and he's broken into the back room of a lifeline superstore and grabbed all the good shit before your grandma got to it. That's right. He got a Guinness branded clock with a smashed face. You're right. This is just like the back room of a Vinny's. This man is a purveyor of yards. He knows what he sees.

There is a cardboard box full of teacups. A Godzilla versus Charles Barkley poster. Fuck yes. It looks like it was in a frame at one point but has come out of the frame. Also it looks like it was for the... No, I think it was just like a novelty print. Just the novelty, just Godzilla v. Charles Barclay. Oh, you guys didn't see Godzilla being Charles Barclay. 1975 Shola era Godzilla, it was fucking crazy dog. Godzilla vs Charles Barkley is a 1992 Nike television commercial directed by Michael Owens produced by Industrial Line Magic. The commercial featured a giant-sized version of NBA star Charles Barkley challenging

Godzilla to a game of basketball in the streets of downtown Tokyo. If you have already written into us about this, I swear to fucking God. Have a good one. Bye. There's a few dozen, I think glass, but potentially cut crystal decanters. Yeah, pretty wild. A cardboard box full of teapots. For the previously mentioned tea cups. Yeah, I think that was a set of two. A stack of wooden

Dr. Pepper, Pepsi and Coca-Cola crates. Let's go sick in your man caves. It'd be awesome. A large collection of nutcrackers. A second different large collection of nutcrackers. What are you doing with them all? This is just what you get when you loot a shelf in Fallout 4. You can sell it for like a tidy amount of bottle caps. Yeah or you get 19 scrap. And finally a grandfather clock. There's a link there if you want to look at the photos but what is this man doing? Where did he rob? And how? How did he steal a fucking grandfather's?

Where is he accused of stealing these from? They, because they found him because of a burglary, right? There was a tip off. Uh, and yeah, well, he's just like gone into someone's house being like, I'll have these. someone's house being like, I'll have these. His grandfather called his mind now, carrying it Fireman's Carey style over his shoulder into his car driving off. And why not?

Yeah, I think he's gonna be enjoying these things more than the previous owners, to be perfectly honest. He clearly really wanted them. Yeah, and possession is one-tenths of the law. That's right. That is so true. The other tenth of the law? It's called ownership. It's called stealing. Pro tip for you folks, if you steal something, it's yours now. Hey, that's in my house. That's how you can tell it's mine because I have it. It's yours. It's free. And you know, if you do, unfortunately, get hassled by the police, pulled up in front of a judge who tells you that you weren't supposed

to steal other people's stuff, you tell out what the Sun's doing up there. Yeah. Raymond Man. It'd be cool if his name was just Raymond. It's Raymond man. Raymond man. Raymond. Raymond man accused of. Raymond. Raymond. Raymond accused of using bogus cash to buy SUV.

This morning when I put this story in the notes, Maddie asked me what I was looking at on my laptop and I showed her a new story and I was like, Raymond man accused of using bogus cash to buy SUV. Not to be confused with Rayman from the video game series, Rayman. And then she said, saveman from the video game series, Rayman. And then she said, save it for the podcast. Yeah. It's like the meanest thing you could say to your partner. Yeah, you didn't get a chuckle or anything. Not a laugh in the slightest. No. It's not an Ubisoft fan. Yeah, I guess. Get out of here with this French bullshit. Where's his arms? What the fuck is his deal? What's this guy's fucking problem? Yeah, if I saw a Raymond I'd trap him in a box and hit him on

the head with that? You know what I'd do to Rayman if I got a hold of him. I would put each of his like disembodied hands and feet into a steel lockbox and throw all of the lockboxes off a pier. Yeah, pull the lock boxes apart while he screams in agony. Yeah, yeah. Take them draw and quarter, Raymond. You don't even need to, he's kind of caught it already, isn't he? You just got to do the drawing.

Right man has been pre-corded for your convenience. Yeah, what I'm saying is that like I think I think what you could do is, yeah and his body's separate from his head too so I think I think the hands and feet go into steel lock boxes and are taken to like the four corners of the earth you know as far away from each other as we can get them basically. I reckon what you do is you get five motorbikes and you park them rear tire toucing in a a the the to to the to to the to to the to the to the to to the the to the sort to the sort to to the sort the sort the the to the sort their the the sort the toe the the the the the their their their their tho tho their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their toe tie tie.e. tie. tie. tie. tie. tie. tiea tie. tie. tie. tie. tie. theoooooooooooo. their the. them basically. I reckon what you do is you get five motor bikes and you park them rear tire touching in a sort of star configuration that you lock his head his hands and his feet inside a compartment like the helmet compartment on the back of each of those bikes

and then you pull off as fast as you can. Yeah I reckon those bikes are coming straight back inwards. You think so? Big old crumpled mess, yeah. Raymond's limbs and head and body are held together with the strong nuclear force. Yeah, like binding quarks. Yeah, well you say that, but I think motorbike pretty fast. It's true. So, what about one of those ones with the really big tires? Did you think about that? I definitely couldn't tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. that. thathea. thathea. thoom. thi. thi. thoomoomoom. thoomoom. tho. tho. tho. tho. thi. thi. thi. thi. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. th. th. th. th. tha. th. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. the. the. toa. toa. toa. toa. toa. toa. toa. toa. toa. toa. toa. toa. toa. toa. too. the. thea. tires. Did you think about that? I definitely couldn't hold a motorbike back

by myself. Yeah. And I've tried. Beef Council could. That's right. Oh, we get the Beef Council to rip them apart. It brings me no joy to report that Rayman has been told about by the New York Beef Council. Unfortunately, the beef council only convened quarterly, so we're going to have to wait. A Raymond man accusing, not Rayman. A Rayman man accused of passing $2,000 in fake bills used as movie props to try to buy a vehicle in Livermore Falls was charged to Tuesday with two felonies. How did they find out? What's the crime? He got that movie money. You'll... They found out very quickly actually. An Andreskoggin County County grand jury

handed up an indictment charging Mungurding 40 with aggravated forgery, really angrily drawing a... $50 bill. A crime punishable by up to 10 years in prison. And theft by deception. So much. A crime punishable by up to five years in prison. But as we established on the last episode, like hurting other people and stuff.

Yeah. Taking a business as money. Slam. The jail door slamming. That's right. The only way I could see this would be a just law is if they charged magicians with it as well. Like if you're a magician you're turning like a $20 note into a card or whatever. Aggravated forgery. Yeah straight in the clinker. Oh I would I would absolutely say that if you are a magician and you're absolutely...

I think you might... I think you might... I'm not a hundred percent... I'm relatively sure it's either the clink or the slammer and you might have combined those... The clinker. The clinker. Clinkers are those delicious confections that you can get. They had to rename them because the old name. We can't see. No good.

I think we should be putting magicians in prison because if anybody is doing theft by deception, it's they, they sell you tickets, they sell you tickets and then they just trick you. You pay to be tricked. Yeah, believable. And I think that's fucked up. I'm that. I'm that's that's that's that's that's thi. I'm thii. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm looking thi. I'm looking thi. I'm looking thi. I'm looking thi. I'm looking thi. I'm looking thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm looking thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I can't thi. I can't thi. I' thi. I' thi. I' thi. I' thi. I' thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm th tickets and then they just trick you. You pay to be tricked. Yeah, believable. And I think that's fucked up. I'm looking up aggravated forgery. It seems like it's just in Maine. Seems like a main crime. Yeah, nothing but a main thing. Aggravated forgery. Yep. That's what they say. That's what they say. That's what they say. That's what they say. We've all heard the expression countless times, but have we ever really thought about what it means? Aggravated forgery ain't nothing but a main thing.

An expression is old as time. And Lucien is a learning with us as well. That's what makes this such a beautiful show. That's right. He also faces misdemeanor charges of operating after revocation and violation of condition of release. Police said the seller of a 2006 GMC UCon Danali SUV which was listed on Facebook Marketplace, the perfect place to sell. Where else you're going to sell your SUV? Where else? I bought my used SUV off Facebook Marketplace.

Okay. So, what the fucks up? They don't have car sales. that the car sales. Com. A.U. I said the seller picked up girding and drove to the rusty lantern on Park Street in East Livermore Village to complete the sale.

You thought they closed that place down? Yeah. What do we think the rusty lantern is? Strip Club? Bar. You've got to have all your shots before you go. Oh. Oh. Bar-da-da'a, you've got to have all your shots before you go. Uh, oh. Thank God this show is almost finished, by the way.

Thanks. We're running just on the rims here. It is, the rusty lantern is a convenience store. Oh, that is a surprise. Even we even weirder, doesn't it? Very surprising. Do you need anything from the Rusty Lantern? Just popping down to the Rusty Lanton, you guys don't want anything?

The Rusty Lantern, one star on Yelp. They should scour that thing. A little bit of vinegar. This person doesn't even want to review this store. They wanted to review the Livermore Falls location, but there is no listing for that, so they are putting their negative review here instead. No, that's fucked up. Somebody else owns this store. Not cool. So this is one of the other two locations in the area, and this person has written, the last time I went to the livemore location I mentioned, that I hope they wouldn't sink to the levels the levels, the levels, the levels, the levels, the level, the level, the level, the level, the level, the level, the level, the level, the, the, the, the, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thoomomombera, thoombera, thoom, tho, tho, tho, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, theree, theree.e.e.e.eanor. Nive. Nive. thereea. Nive. Nive. thereea. Nive. Nive. toge. theree. Neree. Nobo, theree, they wouldn't sync to the levels of the other two locations I have been to in Sabatis and Brunswick.

Well, they have. Okay, well now you've just made Rusty Land the hero of the story because you're insane. Walking into the Rusty Land and be like, I hope you know the other two Rusty Lands are fucking awful. You better not be like those. I just want to point out as well, the the the the the the the the the the rust, the the rust, the the the rust, those. I just want to point out as well the Rusty Lanne appears to be a convenience store, Rusty Land Market, a convenience store that is attached to a petrol station. Okay? So keep that in mind when you hear about this guy's dining choices. Called and ordered a pizza for pickup with other items was told they could no longer take credit card over fine over. Fine, I can deal with that. My friend got there to pick it up and it

was not ready, 25 to 30 minutes, I was told they did not have the Alfredo sauce for your pizza? Oh come on. You are fucking up. Claimed to have tried calling me several times, phone was right beside me all the time and no calls came. Third, rusty lantern location, third messed up service and food. I know this is not the correct location, but I had to rant. Here's an idea, stop getting your pizza from the rusty lantern convenience store. No, no, I got the Lantern pizza menu up, you know, it's sounding good. Yeah, what are they going on there? What's got the Alfredo on it?

What's the, I think Alfredo's aside, it probably comes with the chicken bacon ranch? Or perhaps the bombshell which has buffalo chicken on it and jalapenos. Okay. What going on at the Rusty Lantin? You wouldn't believe it. I would not choose anywhere else to sell my secondhand car. Or buy a second hand car I guess. You can grab a pizza at the same time. Gerting handed the seller an envelope with the $2,000 more than the asking price. Little suss. And quickly walk to the SUV and drove away, police said. Can I tell you more than you want for this car?

Hey, here's an awful lot full of $2,000 cash. Well, gotta go. Have a good one. Don't look the money, my. It's perfect. I love this car! The seller immediately realizing the money was fake, chased Gerding on Park Street and called Police who pulled Gerting over. Didn't even get away.

Didn't even get away. It wasn't so visibly fake. Not even a good fake money. their good fake money. Police said, Gerding told them he just got paid and did and wheelwise the money was fake. That's perfect. If you've got fake money you can just say, well someone else thing on thing on thing thing thing to to to to to to to to to have the to have their their to have to have to have their their to have their their to their to to to to to to to to to theirding their their to to to to th. I th. I th. I th. I theirding on. I theirding on. I theirding on. I theirding on. I their getting. I theiring on. I their. I their. I their. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. G. I. I. G. I. I. G. I. I. G. I. G. I. G. I. I. I to. I to. I to. I to. I to. G. G. G. G. G. Gert. G. Gert. G. G. Gerte. Gerte. G. Gerte. Gerting. G. Gerting. Gerting. Gthe money was fake. That's perfect. If you've got fake money, you can just say, well, someone else gave me this fake money. Yeah, I too have been fooled.

I got it at the rusty lantern. Yeah, you say, oh, I also got fooled and everyone else said, we didn't get fooled. We didn't get fooled. You should be able to just kick this like infinitely up the chain. Like, this guy should be like, oh, I got paid fake money. And then his employers go, oh, shit, we didn't realize the bank gave us fake money. The bank goes. The bank has to say, someone deposited this fake money.

Yeah. And then that guy says, I got paid fake money. And then we go all the way back to the start of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of the US the US the US US US US US US US US US US US US of the US US of the US US of the US US of the US US US the US the US the US the US US the US the US the US dollar and then Benjamin Franklin says, oh whoops and then he gets thrown in the clinker. Whoopsy Daisy. Well you know, Po'Body's Nerfict. Yeah. Pobody's Nerfect. You can take that to the bank. Goetting is free on $500 cash bail. Yeah, anyone check those meals? That's a chance for the funniest possible thing to do just to pay that man's cash bail with fake money. It's a like if it was actually movie prop money, that shit has to look crazy fake. Because otherwise the Secret Service like kicks your door down and throws you in jail. Because for some reason the Secret Service looks after money counterfeiting in the US.

That's their domain, which is odd. And that's the one thing you've learned this week, unless I got that wrong. And then you've just become a little bit dumber. Each week you can become a little bit dumb. You're already paying for this. You're getting twice as dumb as the regular. And you're the regular. And you're thua. And you're thua. And you're thu. And you're thu. thu. thu. the thu. thu. thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thi, thi, thi, thi, the thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, which, thi, which, which, which, thi, which, which, thi, thi, which, thi, thi, their, which, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their their their their their their their thi. thi. thi. thi. Okay, thi. Okay, thi. Okay, thi. Okay, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi, the as the regular person. And that is an episode? Yeah, I think that constitutes an episode of the podcast. Punta Vista. Thank you. So much for joining us on this crazy ride. The world is a beautiful place

and we can only see it in glimpses at a time, two hours a week. Namastay. Namest. Namest.